


Electric Cupid 2

by starsinthesnow



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-08-13 00:08:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 362,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsinthesnow/pseuds/starsinthesnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Following on directly from the first book, Electric Cupid, we re-join Data and Kristen and the journey continues...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_To get back up to the shining world from there_   
_My guide and I went into that hidden tunnel,_   
_And Following its path, we took no care_   
_To rest, but climbed: he first, then I-so far,_   
_through a round aperture I saw appear_   
_Some of the beautiful things that Heaven bears,_   
_Where we came forth, and once more saw the stars._

_\- Dante Alighieri_

 

The jungles of Terlina III were dense and humid, just as they had been for the past several million years. The planet had not supported intelligent life for the majority of its existence, save for occasional and temporary visitors over the turn of the last century. Those who came to stay were usually on the run, looking for somewhere remote enough in the star system to take their leave undetected.

Others came in disgrace, in exile, or in pursuit of a home where nobody would ever look for them – a place they could simply disappear.

There was but one building on the planet, an old domesticated laboratory that was left behind by a genius cyberneticist. The scientist in question had died in the arms of his only surviving artificial lifeform there. The earliest androids the man had made, back on Omicron Theta, were primitive, slow and did not adapt well to interacting with humans. A fourth attempt, one that had been returned to his late Father’s home deactivated and incomplete just a few months ago, had excelled with his cognitive abilities and had been a true landmark compared to his older brothers.

Sadly, his understanding of ethics was severely lacking and so the android in question had caused his creator to dismantle him in shame, leave his current (and successful) android behind and flee to Terlina III and start on a whole new project.

That was many years ago.

The weather outside the old laboratory was stirring, as it was wont to do when the nights began to grow darker. South-easterly winds had been gaining strength and momentum as the moon overhead entered her ripest phase.

Elsewhere on the planet, seas and oceans were synchronising, their tides rushing and violent. In the belly of the surrounding jungle, waxen leaves of jewel-green were batted by the currents, creating a cacophony of rustling sounds. The earth was dark and moistened by a recent storm and so the unseen tempests in the sky were scented headily with the tang of the downpour.

This was a late summer on Terlina III – heat and dampness in the air, a planet ravaged by constant hurricanes and at the end of it all, a tenseness of atmosphere that was hardly ideal for the sole person who took shelter in the lab.

She was poised by a window, the one that faced the jungle path, and had been sitting there for hours. Lost in thought and readying herself for a task she had been preparing for since the day she arrived.

This night had been an eventuality she had doubted would ever come, from time to time, such was the extent of her need to be ready and in control of her excitement. She had researched and studied, practised and read for hours on the subjects of cybernetics and the positronic brain, using all the resources the lab had to offer.

Having been born into servility, the young woman hadn’t had much of an education on such matters, but a series of events in her recent past had enlightened her enough to understand the basics. She was a fast learner and fuelled by an ache in her heart, she worked hard until her mind was filled with all one would ever need to know about reactivating a Soong-type android.

When she wasn’t poring over diagrams and making notes on re-assembly, she was reading journals and reams of data that supplied information the textbooks could not.

Now she was ready, and the lab was prepared, there was only one thing left to do.

The woman disappeared from the window and reappeared ten minutes later, on the front step of the building, a bag of heavy tools on her arm. The wind was rising and it whipped at her loose blonde hair, blinding her momentarily. She took a moment to push it back and then lifted the hood on her robe, pulling it so it would shield her eyes from the gathering storm.

Tonight, more than any other night since she’d come to Terlina III, she would need to focus and the wind could be damned, as far as she was concerned. She’d lost far too much to let the violent summer hold her back. Lifting her bag higher onto her shoulder, she strode down the steps and headed in the direction of the path and beyond it, to the opening of the jungle itself.

The journey was not a long one, even if it did border on arduous at times. Having spent many hours at the point of her current destination, she knew its location with total accuracy. The trees had become familiar there; the chips in the bark, the size of their leaves and their individual heights aided her navigation. Each one was a signpost and she weaved her way through them with determination in her gut.

A memory surfaced of its own volition; standing in a black dress with her arms around her waist, looking down at the ground and feeling as though the world she’d once felt a part of was now very far away.

_Lore…_

Shaking her head to diminish the bitter nostalgia, the young woman reached an open glade and began to walk faster.

A stone of engraved granite stood in the shadow of a number of exotic ferns, half obscured by the surrounding jungle. Wild bouquets of native flowers were piled at one side, some fresh, some dying. The bag of tools was dropped to the floor and the woman now faced with the unenviable task of having to unearth the casket of her former lover, took herself a moment to take a deep breath and collect her thoughts.

It didn’t take long. The excitement was rising, as were the nerves.

She bent to the bag and retrieved a pointed spade. And then, with a slight smile on her face, she began to dig.


	2. Shore Leave

For Lieutenant Kristen Harper, it was bittersweet that her shore leave was over. Being back on the _Enterprise E_ was great, but leaving her family had been tough. Staying with her brother Robert, his wife and their young daughter Brinn had been far more enjoyable than she could ever have imagined and she missed all three of them already. Beyond day after day of total relaxation, family dinners, trips to the beach, walks through surrounding forest glades and fond memories made with her loved ones, the best part of the break had definitely been the time she’d been able to spend with her partner, Commander Data.

Following an adjustment period, when she and Data had first arrived at her brother’s place, he had been accepted and welcomed into the family with warmth and kindness. Kristen remained touched by how well it had gone. 

Data had been as unfailingly polite as ever and that much had certainly helped matters, as had his patience when being asked question after question about being an android. Not a day went by where he wasn’t asked about his strength, his durability, how long he might live, if he was waterproof, the unusual colouring of his skin and eyes or a multitude of other matters all relating to his artificial status. Data handled it perfectly, well-used to these sorts of enquiries, and he supplied as much information as he could. 

Brinn, Kristen’s two year old niece, took an instant liking to him and as the days passed, she grew to hold a deep affection for him too. Data never tired of playing games with her and nor did he tire of her curiosity or her wanting him to tell her stories of starships and space. Being the eager conversationalist he was, he regaled her every single day with tales that held her absolutely spellbound. 

Brinn was adorable and so eager for knowledge, even at such a very young age. Data seemed fond of her too, for he looked forward to spending time with her each day and didn’t mind at all when she pestered him for playtime, stories and imaginary tea parties. Kristen had never, ever believed she might see Data take part in a child’s tea party, but he took to it with the necessary imagination and heart. She enjoyed watching them get to know one another. Her partner had a way with children and she figured that was because of his inherent gentleness and innocence. 

Of course, Data wasn’t entirely innocent these days, certainly not as much as he had been in the past, and that was mostly due to Kristen herself and the many ups and downs they had shared with one since meeting and becoming a couple. Still, the worst of what they’d been through was over now and all that had been necessary during their shore leave was rest, rest and more rest. 

Data might not require physical rest but he did need to rest his mind on occasion and Kristen made sure he had the opportunity to do that. If it was down to Brinn, her favourite new friend would never rest for even a moment, but Kristen ensured he was given space and peace when needed. Time alone was not easily found, due to Brinn’s never-ending enthusiasm and the fact that Robert and his wife wanted to catch up with Kristen and get to know her as the adult and Starfleet officer she now was, but they did manage to get a few hours now and then. 

Spot, Data’s treasured ginger cat, grew to know the house they were staying in and she also settled in nicely. She was given treats from the kitchen and she prowled the garden during the nights, catching mice and prowling the cool grass as she enjoyed being outdoors for the first time in her life. 

Robert and Kristen took walks together, when they got the chance, and they talked about all that had happened over the past six years. Kristen had not seen her older brother in person since she was eighteen years old and so there was much to tell. They skirted the issue of their Father, he who had caused her so much confusion and heartache throughout her formative years, but towards the end of the holiday Robert did ask Kristen if she felt she’d ever make things right with him.

‘It’s not me who needs to make things right,’ she had replied, her expression crossed with perturbation.

Robert had put an arm around her, given her a supportive squeeze. ‘I know, kid. I know.’

‘All the time that I’m with Data, and that will be forever if fate is kind to us, he’s never going to accept him or my choices. So… I guess we’ll never settle our differences,’ she had continued, ‘and really, I’m okay with that. Dad isn’t a part of my life now. He’s not an influence on me anymore,’

‘Same here,’ Robert had said, ‘and I accept your choices, Kris. Data’s not like anyone I’ve ever met before, but it’s clear he makes you happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as happy as you are these days. It’s a damned relief.’

Kristen had stopped walking by then. She turned to her brother and hugged him.

‘What was that for?’ he’d asked, with an incredulous smile.

‘Just for being you,’ she had replied.

‘What about Mum?’ he asked, ‘will you speak with her?’

‘When I’m ready,’ she had replied, ‘right now, I just want to spend time with you, Katie and Brinn,’

‘And Jason?’

Kristen had shrugged. Not even Robert spoke to their other brother these days. ‘I really don’t know,’ she had said.

On the very last night of shore leave, Kristen had expected another one of those walks with her brother and had been looking forward to it too, but when dinner was over and the plates were being cleared away from the table, he surprised her completely by asking Data to join him outdoors instead. Data was unfazed. He helped Brinn down from his lap and then he stood and the two men left the house together.

Katie, Robert’s wife, was also surprised by that turn of events. She and Kristen shared a look, both curious as to what he was thinking. ‘What do you suppose this is about?’ Katie asked, when they were gone.

Kristen smiled a little when realisation sank in. ‘Knowing my brother, he’s going to give Data the talk he’s given other guys I’ve been with,’

‘Oh.’ Katie had laughed. ‘The “if you hurt my little sister I will hurt you” talk?’

‘The very same,’ Kristen had replied.

‘I’m not sure that Rob would be able to hurt Data,’ Katie had said, ‘in fact, I’m not sure that _anyone_ would be able to hurt him. Still, it’s sweet that he’s looking out for you,’

‘I agree,’ Kristen had said.

‘He’s missed you, you know,’

‘I’ve missed him too…’

She had been right in her prediction, for when she and Data were alone much later that night, packing their things to return to Starfleet duty, he had confirmed that Robert had warned him.

‘What did he say?’ Kristen had asked, half-amused and half-embarrassed.

Data had tilted his head and smiled a little. ‘He asked me to take care of you. He asked me to ensure that you are safe and protected at all times. He warned me that if I should ever let you down or prove myself unworthy of you, I would have to answer to him.’ 

Kristen had nodded. ‘I thought as much. What did you tell him?’

Data had come over to her then, sitting by her side. He took her hands in his and held them. ‘I assured him that your safety and happiness are my top priority and that I have felt that way for a very long time, Kristen,’ he told her, in a soft tone, ‘and I also told him that I respect the reasons why he wished to converse with me in such a way. Your brother loves you. I am glad for that. He is a kind man and someone I hope will become a good friend. I admire him,’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. He returned the sentiment and said that he too hopes we can forge a friendship. We have agreed to keep in touch, once you and I both return to duty,’

‘I can’t tell you happy that makes me,’ she said, with a smile.

‘I am also happy. Your family are good people, Kristen. I am glad to know them and grateful for the time they have allowed me to stay in their home. Their hospitality has been most welcome.’

Filled with relief and happiness that Data and her brother had bonded, she hugged him then and told him how the whole holiday could not have gone any better. She told him how the past weeks they had spent with her family had been precious and dear to her and how glad she was he was there with her. Following dangerous and arduous missions serving under Captain Picard on the _Enterprise_ and over a year of assorted experiences, both bad and good, the shore leave had been exactly what they had both needed. 

More than that, it had brought them a sense of peace and stability too. 

Kristen felt healed and rested and she slept wonderfully that night. Data stayed with her, by her side until dawn, and that was when he woke her with a hand that gently stroked her face and a kiss that made her heart race. It was time to go. It was time to get back to reality.

Brinn had fussed, especially about having to say goodbye to Data. Kristen was going to miss her niece a lot and she loved her very much already. She and Data hugged the child, reassured her that they would see her again soon, and then they had allowed her a few more moments with Spot whilst they said farewell to Robert and Katie. Affection was exchanged, as were kind words of love and good luck and at that, Kristen and Data left the house and were beamed back to the _Enterprise._

The transporter room was busy with people returning from their breaks, but upon leaving there and walking the corridors, they found that the ship was still rather empty overall. Even the Captain had not returned from his native France as of yet and Geordi LaForge and his girlfriend were still yet to be beamed back. Only a handful of officers and their families had returned and so the whole ship was oddly quiet. 

They went back to their quarters and marvelled over how it felt as though a year or more had passed since they’d been there. It felt as though they’d been on Earth for a very long time indeed. Data unpacked the few personal affects he’d taken down to Earth and Kristen sat down on the sofa and watched him, drinking coffee that tasted nowhere near as good as the stuff that Katie served every morning. She smiled as she watched him. 

_My partner… my love… my life…_

Not only had Data stolen her heart completely, he had now also earned the approval and friendship of her brother, the respect of her sister-in-law and the love of her niece. Throughout the weeks they’d been away from the ship, he’d been unfailingly sweet and helpful and during their time alone, he had been attentive and romantic, in his own unique way. His comportment had been as perfect as always and she was so, so proud of him for all of it.

Kristen watched him coax Spot out of her carry case and then he crouched down by her side to pet her as she ate some food. His personality was just as beguiling to Kristen as it had ever been and after their shore leave, she was sure that she was more in love with him than ever.

Data noticed she was gazing in his direction and he smiled. ‘Are you happy to be home, Kristen?’ he asked. 

_Home,_ she thought, _this ship is my home, but more realistically… my home is wherever you are, Data. I would follow you anywhere._

‘I am, yes,’ she replied, ‘are you?’

‘Being away from the _Enterprise_ does require some adjustment, but I can state honestly that I did not miss my quarters or being here at all whilst we were gone. Still, being home is… good. I am happy for you and I to be where we belong once more,’ he said.

Kristen stood then and went over to him. Data stood also and she moved into his arms gratefully, resting her face against his chest for a moment and closing her eyes. The steady thump-thump of his artificial heartbeat was a wonderful sound, one she never grew tired of hearing. He stroked his fingers through her hair and then she looked up at him, smiling when he dropped a kiss on her lips.

‘There is perhaps one factor that made our time on earth somewhat… awkward,’ Data said.

Curious, Kristen frowned a little. ‘Oh? What might that be?’

‘A lack of complete privacy,’ he told her.

She watched his amber eyes as she thought about that and then soon she began to smile again. He was right. At her brother’s house in Zagreb, the capital city of Croatia, they had been preoccupied by family matters almost constantly and as such, chances of alone-time had been sporadic and often interrupted. Also, because the room they had shared had been directly next door to Brinn’s, being intimate really had not been an option. Because of that and the additional fact that Data hadn’t wanted to be ‘disrespectful’ whilst they were staying with her family, they had gone no further than kissing. 

Kristen ran a hand up his chest and then she leaned up to give him another kiss. ‘Well, we’re home now, love. These are our rooms and we can do whatever we want to within them,’ she said.

Data nodded. ‘That much is a relief. I have missed being truly close to you. In fact, at times I have found thoughts of intimacy with you to be a profound distraction. Could you tell?’

She bit her lip so she wouldn’t giggle. ‘Not particularly. Your ability to be stoical seems to be getting better all the time. As your ex-Counselor, I have to say that it’s pretty impressive, Data,’

‘Thank you. I thought it better not to mention such things, both because I was attempting to be stoical and also because I did not want to behave inappropriately whilst we were staying with your family. I was attempting to be respectful at all times and I wished to be honourable also, whilst earning the trust of your brother. I did not wish to do anything Robert would not find suitable.’

Kristen opened her mouth to add a few thoughts to that, but Data bent to lower an arm to her legs, kept the other about her back, and then he lifted her clean off the floor. He did that so quickly that her eyes widened and she gasped. She held onto him, surprised and also rather excited, and when he shot her a small smile, she returned it.

He carried her through to their sleeping area then and when they reached their bed, he lay her down on the covers in a gentle fashion. Kristen propped herself up on her elbows and blew some hair out of her eyes. ‘I guess you’re not feeling too stoical at the moment, huh?’ she said.

‘I am feeling an intense need to be intimate with my girlfriend,’ Data replied. 

He put a knee on the end of the bed and moved slowly downwards so that he covered her body with his. Feeling his weight atop her again after weeks of abstinence was nothing less than delicious. She grasped his shoulders and leaned up to kiss him. Data returned that kiss and then he ran his nose over the side of her face in a way that made her shiver.

_It’s been too long… I’ve missed this too… God, how I’ve missed this. I need you to touch me…_

‘How long do we have before we have to report to the bridge?’ she asked.

Data did not need to ask the computer for the time. He checked his internal chronometer and then whispered in her ear that they had at least four hours before they needed to put on their uniforms and communicators and meet with the Captain. Kristen felt blessed by that much. 

‘My only concern,’ he said, as he started to drop soft kisses along her throat, ‘is that four hours will not be long enough.’

Kristen giggled at that but it faded when she realised he was completely serious. Passion took over then and this time when she held his face in her hands and kissed him, she forgot shore leave and family and everything else, losing herself in Data completely.

*

For Captain Jean-Luc Picard, shore leave had been relaxing but it had also filled him with contemplation. Le Barre, France, where he had been born, had been much easier to visit when his family were still alive and being back amongst the vineyards had filled him with more memories than he knew what to do with. 

Though his brother and nephew had been dead for a few years now, it felt like just yesterday that they were in regular contact. The fire had destroyed much of the family home, but an outhouse had survived and so that was where he had stayed. It had the basic amenities he needed, though there was no replicator. His brother would never have allowed that much. He had picked up some supplies in the town before heading to the Picard Chateau and so for the most part, he had enough sustenance to keep him going. Bread, cheese and fruit was more than enough. 

To some, observing shore leave in such a way would be almost feral, compared to the comforts of a starship. To Picard, getting back to basics was a welcome relief. He had used the first week to rest, read and catch up on correspondence. He had slept more than he thought possible and had observed many hours in silent meditation. The second week had been spent riding horses at nearby stables, savouring fine wine and ruminating on missions past and still to come. The past year on the _Enterprise_ had been a study in tenebrous lows and illuminating highs and he needed the time alone to process much of what he’d experienced.

By the third week, he had begun to feel restless. It was the curse of being a Captain – always wondering what was going on in space, ever-curious, ever seeking mystery and discovery.

There was some closure to being back in Le Barre, however. He laid old ghosts to rest by visiting the family plot. It was over-grown and untended, but it did not take long to pull back the fronds of ivy and wipe the dust from the marble. Seeing the names of his brother and nephew on the same headstone was hard, but Picard did not cry. He had grieved already. He laid white roses and said the things he needed to say; how he missed them both and how he still remembered the lessons they had taught him. It had been a cool, overcast day and by the time he was leaving the graveyard and heading back to the outhouse, it had started to rain. It felt fitting somehow, that the skies could shed tears when he did not feel the need to.

Upon returning to the _Enterprise_ , he felt rested and centred. He was ready to get straight back to work and also, he had missed Beverly Crusher and other members of his staff. He would not vocalise those emotions, but he felt them all the same. His senior crew were the only family he had now and missing them felt natural. After unpacking in his quarters and getting straight back into uniform, he headed to his ready room and asked the computer to bring him up to speed on current affairs. To his disappointment, he hadn’t missed out on all that much. 

He was checking through upcoming missions when there was a signal at his door.

‘Come,’ he said, looking up.

It was Beverly. She was still wearing casual clothes and her red hair was pinned back from her face. She came and sat down opposite him. 

‘Beverly,’ he said, with a small smile, ‘how was your shore leave?’

‘It was fine,’ she replied, ‘though I’m missing Wes already. He and his Traveller friend have disappeared to who-knows-where. I hope he’ll be alright...’

The young man in question had shocked and surprised everyone during the culmination of their most-recent mission. A man who had recently been killed had been revived and all through nothing more than Wesley laying his hands upon him. Picard had thought of the miraculous event several times throughout his own holiday time. It was something that would surely be impossible to forget.

‘I believe that he will fare very well,’ he replied, ‘don’t worry about him. I know he’s your son and it is ingrained in you that you should want to protect him and look out for his wellbeing, but if he has proved anything to us as of late, it is that he can take very good care of himself… and others.’

She sighed and nodded. ‘I know, Jean-Luc. But I keep wondering who he is now. What he did… it was and should have been impossible. I’m not sure even he understands it. I wish The Traveller was more forthcoming with information, but he’s maddeningly quiet about these things,’

‘It is his way,’ Picard replied. 

Beverly conceded that with another nod. ‘How was your shore leave?’ she asked.

‘Restful,’ he said, ‘and little more than that. I have read a lot of books, drank more than a few glasses of wine and ridden several horses. It was what I needed it to be. Have you been to sickbay yet?’

‘Yes. My staff are returning, little by little. I saw Geordi just now and he said the same of Engineering,’

‘Ah.’

She got to her feet again then and he could tell by her body language that she really was missing her son more than she could handle. ‘I should go and change into uniform,’ she said, as she moved over to the door, ‘I have a few days of check-ups to get on with and over a thousand patients to assess. I love my job, but this part of the routine seems to take forever after shore leave…’

‘Beverly.’

She looked to him. ‘Yes, Jean-Luc?’

‘Dinner. Tonight. My quarters. You can worry about your son or complain about the least co-operative of your patients as much as you need to and then we’ll laugh the worst of it off over a glass of Pinot Grigio,’ he said.

Beverly smiled at him then and the look in her eyes softened. ‘It has been a while since we had dinner together… but surely I should be moaning to Counselor Harper instead of you?’

He shook his head. ‘Absolutely not. I insist on you moaning to me,’

‘Well, in that case I accept.’

Picard gave her a warm smile. ‘Until tonight, then?’

‘Yes, see you later.’ She turned then and left the ready room.

Captain Picard stared at the spot where she’d been standing for a while and then he turned his attention back to the computer screen before him. He re-reviewed mission details for a while and then he decided to check his correspondence. He had received only one message since leaving Le Barre and it was from his previous First Officer – William Riker.

The message was simple but heartfelt.

_Incoming personal message_  
To : Captain Jean-Luc Picard, USS Enterprise E  
From : Captain William T. Riker USS Titan 

_Hello Jean-Luc_

_Deanna and I have returned from Alaska and we felt it might be appreciated if we got in touch to let you know that all is well at this end. The Titan is a beautiful ship. We have unpacked all of our personal items and are getting used to new quarters and a new bridge. My staff here are great people and they all have a great deal of potential. They don’t begrudge their new Captain his terrible jokes and penchant for jazz. They are generally polite, enthusiastic and hard-working._

_I admit however than I am missing being referred to as ‘Number One’. It is hard to let go of that much after years of answering to it day after day. I wanted to thank you for encouraging me to take this ship, my friend. I know that I have dragged my feet for years in taking my first command, but I know the time is right now and I’m prepared for where my new role in the Fleet will take me. It will take time for me to adjust, but I feel I am in the right place and Deanna feels the same._

_It occurred to me today that it’s unlikely now that you’ll have to endure anymore random visits from Ambassador Lwaxana Troi, now that Deanna is over on the Titan with me. I hope this part of my message will cheer you, though don’t forget you will of course have to be reunited with her at our weddings – both on Earth and Betazed!_

_Alright, I will close this down now. I’ll keep in touch, as we arranged. Please pass on our fondest wishes to Beverly, Data, Worf, Geordi, Kristen and the rest. We miss all of you._

_Over and out._

Captain Picard read the message through several times, smiling in the appropriate places. He was intensely proud of Riker for all manner of reasons. He had been his right-hand man for many years, unfailingly loyal, dedicated and professional, but it truly was time for him to continue with his life and career. He would make an excellent Captain and Picard knew that much for sure. He would have made an excellent Captain many years ago, but it was only over recent time that he had decided he was ready.

Also, it was high time for Data to be promoted too. He would make a fine First Officer when he resumed his duties and if anything had aided Picard in adjusting to the turnaround in his bridge staff, it was trust in the android who had never once let him down in the past. 

Data had evolved by huge extents since having his emotion chip fitted and now he was in control of his factions, capable of coping even in terrifying or dangerous situations and also content in his personal life, he was closer to being human than ever. 

Picard knew he was not the man he had been when they had first met, so many years ago. Yes, Data had changed. But he had changed for the better and was now the only choice he could have made when it came to promoting someone else into the role of his First Officer. He would excel in that as he had excelled in all things, Picard felt, and he was looking forward to witnessing him thrive even more, even when under duress.

On cue, there was another signal at his ready room door. ‘Come,’ he said.

It was the android in question, and with him, Counselor Kristen Harper.

‘Ah. I was wondering when I would see you both. Come in and take a seat,’ he told them.

Data waited for Harper to sit and then he joined her. 

‘I trust you both had a pleasant time during your shore leave?’ he asked.

Data nodded. ‘Yes, thank you, Sir,’

‘And where did you go?’

‘We went to my brother’s house in Croatia, Sir,’ Harper supplied.

Picard smiled. These two had been through a great deal together, the worst of which had been brought to his attention more than once, and he was genuinely relieved to see both of them looking content. Data did not show his malaise in an obvious fashion but Picard had definitely witnessed Harper looking pained and exhausted more times than he liked to recount. ‘I didn’t realise that you have roots there, Counselor,’ he said, ‘you have an English accent,’

‘Yes… I’m English. My brother works there,’ she explained.

‘What does he do for a living?’

‘He works in construction,’ she said.

Picard nodded. ‘Are you the only member of your family in Starfleet?’

‘Yes Sir,’

‘What do your parents do?’

‘Oh, um… my Mum is a housewife and my Dad is an artist…’

‘Her Father is Randell Harper,’ Data said.

‘Oh? The painter? I have heard of him, yes,’ Picard said.

Harper appeared a touch uncomfortable discussing the matter. Picard could see it in her eyes. He didn’t understand it but wouldn’t put her on the spot any longer and so he decided to leave that line of conversation and get to the debriefing.

He looked to Data then. ‘I would like to put to you that we have a great deal of adventure and excitement to tend to, especially for your first missions as First Officer, but I’m afraid we have more perfunctory tasks ahead of us. Once the ship has received her full complement, we are expected to head to Nadivya to pick up a trio of dignitaries and then we are to escort them to Ranssoon. There, we will oversee a conference and help in any way we can to exchange information and ensure that all goes to plan. As soon as that is over, we will return the dignitaries back to their home planet. It should take a week or so, all in all.’

Data nodded. ‘What is expected of me?’ he asked. 

‘Oh, the usual. What would Riker have done, Mr Data?’

Harper laughed a little and Picard looked to her. ‘Apologies, Sir,’ she said, ‘it’s just that I have fond memories of the way Will dealt with new people and new cultures. I’m going to miss him.’

Picard smiled. He knew that when Harper had joined the crew as a protégé to Counselor Troi, she had formed solid friendships with both her and Commander Riker. Harper knew all too well of how charming and personable his ex-First Officer was and how those qualities had aided many missions; turning potentially awkward meetings into relaxed exchanges that ran smoothly. 

‘I heard from him today,’ he revealed, ‘he and Deanna send their warmest wishes,’

‘Have they settled adequately on the _Titan_ , Sir?’ Data asked.

‘Yes, I believe they have. It will certainly take some time for all of us to grow accustomed to their absence on the bridge. But with both of you on either side of me, I trust that the transition will be brief and painless.’

Harper appeared to be touched by those words. ‘I hope I can make you proud,’ she said.

Picard had wanted to speak to her alone and so he decided to take the opportunity. ‘Mr Data, would you like to head out now and take the bridge?’ he suggested.

Data stood at once. ‘Yes Sir.’

As soon as he was gone and his ready room doors had closed behind him, Picard stood also and went to the replicator. ‘You prefer coffee, Counselor? With milk and sweetener?’

Harper looked to him. ‘Oh, yes. That’s right. Thank you.’

He retrieved her coffee and some Earl Grey tea for himself and brought their cups back to his desk. Sitting down again, he passed her drink over and then watched as she nervously took a sip. He wasn’t surprised she was nervous. The only reason she held her bridge position was because of field promotions, a recommendation from Counselor Troi and the fact she had proven herself in a scant amount of missions. Really, she had skipped years of practical experience and so she surely must know how fortunate she was to be where she was already. 

Picard did not know her as well as Troi, Riker, LaForge, Data or even Guinan, but he counted their trust in her as something worth taking seriously. Harper had come a long way in no time and though she was young and sometimes wont to think with her heart instead of her head, she had also shown herself to be resolute in the face of danger and industrious in her strength. Her dark eyes and hair had him wonder if she had any Betazoid blood in her. She certainly came across as though she could be some distant relative of Troi, with her expressive gaze and tender heart.

He voiced those queries and Harper sipped her coffee again before answering. ‘No, Sir,’ she replied, ‘there’s no trace of Betazoid blood in my ancestry whatsoever and I’m not an Empath in any way.’ 

‘That much will take some getting used to,’ he said, ‘I have had a Betazoid at my side for years. Her telepathy has been a useful tool indeed. When I have struggled to communicate with an adversary or even a possible ally, Deanna was always able to tell me what they were thinking and feeling.’

Harper put her cup down. ‘I have big shoes to fill,’ she acceded, ‘and I cannot promise I will ever be what Deanna was to you. All I can tell you is that I will try my hardest to be a worthy Counselor. I am here for the people we will meet, for our crew… and for you also, Sir. Should you ever need to confide in me, I am always here.’

Picard nodded. ‘We have a great deal of work ahead of us, Counselor. During our upcoming mission, I expect you to accompany me and provide me with whatever reflections you might feel. Also, I would like you to know that I do understand you are still finding yourself. I expect the very best from you, but I am also aware of the fact that you are young and somewhat inexperienced. You will continue to learn and as you do so, you will come to know your role on this ship.’

Harper bit her lip and frowned. Then she seemed to steel herself. ‘I think there will be times when I will feel out of my depth… I have to be honest about that much. But I feel that this is right. I want to be here and nowhere else. The _Enterprise_ is my home and you are my Captain. I have a lot of respect for you and for whatever I will continue to learn as the years go by. I welcome any critique you might have and if I ever fail you-’

Picard lifted a hand to silence her. ‘Kristen… may I call you that?’

‘Yes Sir, of course,’

‘Kristen. From this day forward, this will be the true beginning of your career. Your time as a protégé is over and from now on, you are a bridge officer and a trusted member of my crew. If you make mistakes, you will be forgiven. I run a tight ship, but I am human. Your failures will not be held against you.’

Harper took that in and also took a deep breath. ‘Thank you, Captain.’

Picard watched her for a long moment. ‘All I ask is that you do your best. You and I will work together consistently and as we do so, we will come to know one another far better than we do now. Before your shore leave, you had personal drama and tragedy and a whole lot more on your shoulders. From now on, you have a clean slate. Or at least as far as I am concerned. Let us go on from today with a view to looking to the future. Let us use our rest period as a bolster and undertake the missions ahead of us as a learning curve. I believe that you will make me proud,’

‘I endeavour to,’ she replied, smiling timidly, ‘earning your respect means everything to me.’

He looked her over again and noticed something unusual. She had a dark pink mark on the left side of her neck. Pausing for a moment, he considered what it might be. Harper had her hair down and so was clearly trying to hide it, but unless she was suffering from some odd type of alien fever, he figured it must be some sign of passion. That much was not as professional as he liked. Wanting to be delicate, he fixed her with a look and tapped his own neck, in the same place where her mark was. 

Harper put her fingers there and then she blushed. ‘Oh… oh, bloody hell…’

‘Language, Counselor,’

‘Yes Sir,’

‘Have that attended to by Doctor Crusher at your earliest convenience,’

‘I will… and I’m sorry… it’s been a very hectic day,’

‘Forgiven,’ he said, ‘but do not let this happen again.’

Harper straightened in her seat. ‘I won’t. God… I’m so embarrassed…’

Picard observed her blush and then he decided to forget the minor transgression. She was young and still adjusting to the kind of decorum he expected and he understood that much. He offered her a hand and when she took it, they shook. ‘Don’t be embarrassed. Just learn from this and move forwards, Counselor,’

‘Yes Sir…’

There was a moment of warmth between them and then he released her hand. ‘You are dismissed. Please head to the bridge.’

She stood from his desk. ‘Yes Sir… and thank you again.’

Picard nodded. ‘You’re welcome.’

He watched her go and then he picked up his tea again and returned his attention to the computer. The missions they had ahead of them might not be as consuming as he’d hoped, but they would surely be a testing ground for the change in his bridge crew and that much by far would push them to prove themselves.


	3. Nadivya To Ranssoon

Much later that night, Doctor Crusher returned to sickbay following her dinner with the Captain. Talking to him about Wesley had certainly helped and she was grateful not only for his friendship, but for his patience and understanding too. He had listened to her vent everything she was feeling about the radical changes in her son and the fact it pained her to know she couldn’t reach him whenever she wanted or needed to, and then he had lightened the mood by helping her focus on the fact that Wesley was in the right hands. 

She was still thinking of that, and the fact she’d thank Jean-Luc for his positive thinking over breakfast the following morning, when she passed through the sickbay doors. She had several hours of routine health assessments to continue and though she’d rather be doing anything else, she knew that she needed to get on with it.

What she didn’t expect to find was Counselor Harper two hours early for her appointment. The young woman was standing on her own across the room and was using a dermal regenerator on her neck. Concerned, Crusher headed in her direction immediately. She had grown to like her a great deal during caring for her after the accident on Loistros and during their away mission to Komos B and it was nice to see her.

Kristen was talking to herself, however, and quite involved in it. ‘Bloody, sodding… bloody hell. First time I get to speak with the Captain since being promoted and I mess it up with this… I need to have words with Data. This cannot happen again.’

‘Kris?’ Crusher said, putting a hand to her shoulder.

Harper started and turned around. She was blushing and pained. ‘Oh, hi, Beverly,’ she said.

‘Did you hurt your neck? Would you like me to take a look?’

Harper checked to see that they were out of earshot and when she realised they were, she sighed and shook her head. ‘No, I think I’ve sorted it out. Can you see anything on my neck?’

Crusher tilted Harper’s face to the side so she could take a look. ‘There’s nothing here. What happened?’

Harper passed her the dermal regenerator. ‘I had my debriefing with the Captain late this afternoon and he noticed I had a… well, that I had a lovebite on my neck. I had tried to hide it with my hair, but you know the Captain. He doesn’t miss a trick.’

Crusher blinked and then she smiled. There was only one person who could have given her that lovebite and it warmed her to think that she and Data were clearly still doing so well. ‘Well, I had dinner with the Captain just now and he didn’t mention it. Had he been seriously offended by it, he would have told me, I’m sure, even if just in passing,’ she said.

‘Really?’ Harper relaxed ever-so-slightly. ‘I’ve been so embarrassed all afternoon. He didn’t make a major issue out of it but I was still so annoyed with myself. I’m going to speak with Data about it when I get the chance.’

Crusher laughed a little. ‘Ah, young love. Come on, let’s get your medical review out of the way. We might as well, whilst you’re here,’

‘Yes, okay.’

As she was checked over and given the latest immunisations, Harper asked how shore leave had been but Crusher felt she’d talked about that enough for one day and so she mirrored the questioning. Harper seemed to fully recover from her embarrassment then as her face lit up with a smile as she shared how things had gone for her and Data down on Earth. It was obvious she’d had a perfect holiday and that a few weeks of rest and recuperation had done her a world of good.

‘Robert was super nice to Data,’ she related, ‘though he did do the typical big brother thing and warn him to take care of me.’

Crusher finished checking her blood pressure and looked up. ‘How did Data handle that?’

‘Really well. He was great throughout all of shore leave.’ She laughed in a fond sort of way. ‘He bonded with my niece pretty much immediately. Brinn is utterly besotted with him now. He’s so great with kids,’

‘Yes, he is,’ Crusher agreed, ‘there was a time a few years ago now where he had to take care of a boy who wanted to be just like him. Timothy was found alone on a science vessel that was adrift just outside of a black hole and the poor thing would trust Data and only Data. He started to emulate him in every way. It was sad, but also quite adorable.’

Harper was biting her lip and smiling. ‘I had no idea. What happened?’

‘Timothy started to dress like Data and he pretended to be an android,’

‘A coping mechanism?’

‘Yes, exactly that. Data taught him how to paint and he styled his hair for him and they were often seen around the ship together. Timothy looked up to him. I think he envied the fact that Data couldn’t feel any real emotion. He wanted that same numbness so he didn’t have to deal with his feelings and his losses. The charade came to an end eventually, but I am quite sure that Timothy will always hold a special place in his heart for Data. I imagine that your niece will do the same as time goes on,’ Crusher said.

Harper turned her head so that she could be given another inoculation. ‘I think so too. They had imaginary tea parties together, you know.’

Crusher was touched by that mental image. ‘That’s very sweet.’

They continued to talk about such matters for a while and it made Crusher think of Wesley now and again. He was never far from her thoughts. She remembered the bond that her son had had with Data in years gone by and it warmed her heart to recall their friendship. They’d had a lot in common back then, oddly enough. 

Then, as Harper continued to talk about her niece, she found herself wondering how she would learn to cope with the fact that she and Data could never have children. It wasn’t her business and for all she knew, Harper might not even want kids, but Crusher couldn’t help but consider the issue. Data clearly wanted children, otherwise he would never have made his daughter Lal. The way that Harper spoke about Brinn and how great Data was with her implied that she too had a fondness for children and perhaps a desire to have some of her own, one day.

A note of sadness struck Crusher’s heart. She’d had to tell many patients of hers over the years that they would never be able to reproduce and it had always been deeply sad. That Data and Harper were in that situation and that there was literally no medical procedure or miracle that could help them was so very unfortunate.

 _Snap out of it,_ she told herself, _they’ll be okay. They have each other._

‘Bev?’ Harper said.

Crusher realised how distracted she’d become. ‘I’m sorry, Kris. What were you saying?’

‘Just that when we get back from our first mission, I’ve decided to help out more in the ship’s school. Spending all that time with Brinn has made me want to look more deeply into child behaviour and psychology,’ she said, with a bright smile.

Crusher smiled back at her. ‘That sounds great,’ she said.

‘You think?’

 _Yes,_ Crusher thought, _but I hope it doesn’t make you long for things you cannot have, Kristen._

*

It took a day at warp 6 to get to Nadivya and as soon as they arrived, Commander Data beamed down with a small away team to meet with the dignitaries. 

The planet was scorching hot, not that he was bothered by such things. His team were bothered however and so he suggested they take shelter indoors and do some research whilst he saw to business. It was far from the first time he’d acted alone in greeting people in an official capacity and so he left his team behind and headed to the gardens of a nearby council building, wearing dress uniform and completely focused on the task ahead.

Well, he was almost completely focused. It was possible for Data to entertain many layers of thoughts simultaneously, as well as analysing literature, music and language and also deliberating over food supplements for his cat and turning over reflections on socialisation, science and other facets of the arts. Today, he was slightly preoccupied with a rather personal matter. 

That he had embarrassed Kristen by leaving a lesion on her throat that had been noticed by Captain Picard was giving him a variety of emotional responses and ever since she’d spoken to him about that, Data had felt bad. She’d been kind about the matter when they’d spoken, as was her way, but he could see in her eyes that she was bewildered by the fact the Captain had needed to order her to remove the mark and not let it happen again. Causing her discomfort, even by accident, was horrendous and try as he might, Data couldn’t seem to cease feeling guilty.

Before he’d left their quarters to head to the transporter room, Kristen had tried to assure him that she knew he hadn’t done it on purpose and that she truly wanted him to stop worrying, but that much wasn’t possible yet. She had hugged him and held his face in her hands and promised him that it could have been much worse, but there were times when Data was quite sure she had no idea how much she meant to him. 

Also, he had taken Robert Harper’s brotherly warning very seriously indeed. If he had taken care of her in the past, and he had certainly tried his hardest to do that, then it could not compare to how protective Data felt over her now.

Not only had she taught him everything he knew about love, she had also allowed him so deeply into her heart that before their shore leave, she had been prepared to sacrifice her entire career and reputation just to be with him. That was before she had known about their promotions of course, and Data had not told her about that because he hadn’t wanted to pressure her. But Kristen had insisted on staying with him, had moved in with him permanently and most recently, had even taken him home to meet some of her family. 

Data could never convey to her how grateful he was for all those things. That was why it stung so badly that he had embarrassed her during her first debriefing with Captain Picard.

As he entered the council building and explained who he was and why he was there, he still could not shake off the guilt. Had he been the one who had been criticised for not presenting a professional exterior, the shame would have been immense. But that it was Kristen, who was still getting to know Captain Picard and still striving to earn his respect… yes, Data was rattled. 

Meeting with the dignitaries was fine. He shook hands with them all and spoke to them in their language, having learned every single word and dialect within seconds back on the _Enterprise_ , as they showed him around the council grounds and introduced him to all manner of people. Data ensured he was every bit as polite and honourable as Starfleet had taught him to be, and he was received well by those he would soon escort to Ranssoon. They even complimented him on his manners and that he had chosen to wear dress uniform.

Still, there was the guilt.

Hours later, when he had returned to the ship and taken the dignitaries to meet with Captain Picard in the main observation lounge, it still throbbed within his sensors. Kristen was there at the meeting too and though she looked content and as though the matter of the lovebite was completely forgotten, he couldn’t help but worry. He watched her at times, wondering how many more mistakes he might make. 

When they had agreed to become a couple, she had reminded him that being part of an intimate relationship wasn’t always easy, and Data felt he understood that much very well. He was trying his hardest to ensure she was safe and yet he’d made a glaring error already. It was only a couple of days since they’d been back on the ship and already she’d needed to ask him to be more careful.

‘I don’t mind lovebites,’ she had told him, ‘in fact, I quite like them when they come from you, love. But in the future, you’ll have to make sure you don’t leave them in visible places. I can wear them with pride under my uniform, but my throat is a no-go area from now on, alright?’

‘Yes, Kristen. I understand,’ he had replied, ‘I am sorry that I caused you embarrassment…’

‘Hey, it’s alright,’ she had soothed, ‘I’m a bit wound up that the Captain noticed but everything’s going to be okay. I know you’d never do something like that on purpose.’

But he had given her the lovebites on purpose. It fascinated him that he could alter the colour of her skin, without hurting her at all, just through applying concentrated periods of suction. That she made sweet noises of pleasure whilst he did that added to the enjoyment. As did the fact that he liked the concept of leaving his mark on her. Confused, all of these thoughts had tumbled out and Kristen’s eyebrows had raised right to the top of her forehead. 

‘That’s… well, being territorial like that… it’s a very human way of thinking, Data,’ she had said.

‘It is?’

_Then why do I still feel so bad? In the past, being told that my behaviour was successfully emulating human behaviour was always the best compliment I could ever have hoped to achieve. Now, I would rather act like an android at all times instead and especially if it means not causing Kristen shame._

‘Yes, absolutely,’ she had confirmed, putting her arms around his neck, ‘all I ask is that when you do that again, and I hope you will, that you’ll only do it to places I can hide.’

Data had held her and kissed her, but his mind was turning over how he definitely would not be giving her lovebites again. 

_There is much I still need to learn about intimacy and sex. Some rules are not so easily defined._

After the meeting in the observation lounge, Captain Picard decided to show the dignitaries to their quarters and so Data and Kristen were dismissed until later. They watched the Captain and their esteemed guests head off down the corridor, doing his best with the basics of their language he had managed to learn so far, and then she looked up at him with a smile.

Data smiled back at her.

Her gaze lingered on him for a long moment and he was just about to ask how she was feeling when she came to stand directly in front of him and her expression changed to one of knowingness. ‘And there I was, thinking that I’d helped to cure you of all your neuroses,’ she said.

He tilted his head. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re over-worrying and if you think I can’t tell, then you’re mistaken,’ she replied. Then she moved her hair back from her face and exposed her throat to him, turning her head a little. ‘Look. That silly mark is gone. I know I was a little stressed about it yesterday, but it’s gone and the matter is over. If you pull this martyr act every time you make a mistake, you’re going to end up being a patient of mine again as well as my boyfriend.’

Her words made sense. ‘I do not wish to be your patient again… but I am struggling to forgive myself for embarrassing you,’ he explained, ‘how do I cease to feel guilty?’

Kristen put her hands to his upper arms and held him there. ‘Let go of it. Please. Every time you get distracted by those feelings, force yourself to remember that what’s done is done. Hell, if I beat myself up every day over some of the mistakes I’ve made in our relationship, we’d never make it. I love you. I love you and I don’t want you to keep dragging this out. It’s done.’

Data covered her hands with his and then he considered her. ‘I will make more mistakes,’ he said.

‘Yes, you will. And so will I. Every time we hit an obstacle, we’ll work together to overcome it. Isn’t that how we’ve always done things?’ she asked, with a smile.

‘Affirmative. We do aid and encourage one another…’ he agreed.

‘It’s team work. We’re a team, you and I. We go through every tough time we face _together_ ,’ she insisted.

Her words were sinking in by then. Data was surprised to feel genuine relief flooding through his systems and he also felt her love for him assuaging much of the difficult feelings he’d been battling with since she’d needed to speak with him about where it was or wasn’t appropriate to leave marks on her body. The fact he was calming down must have showed on his face, because Kristen’s expression turned thoroughly warm and content.

‘Thank you,’ he said to her, lifting one of her hands and kissing her fingers.

‘Are we done with this now?’ she tested.

‘Yes, we are done with that particular infraction… and next time I err, I will endeavour to handle the resulting emotions without becoming a martyr,’

‘You’re still stoical, Data. When you’re worried, you’re far from dramatic. But I hate the thought of you bullying yourself,’ she replied.

Data kissed her fingers again. ‘I understand.’

Kristen moved away from him then and started to walk backwards down the corridor, an impish grin on her face as she beckoned him to follow her. Data took a few steps, expecting to catch up with her, but she continued to back away. 

_Is this a game?_

‘Come on,’ she said, her grin spreading.

‘Where are we going?’ 

‘Back to our quarters.’ She took a few more steps.

Data did too. ‘To what end?’

_If this is a game, then I am enjoying it already…_

‘We’re off-duty for now. We’ve got time to waste. Maybe we should spend them with me showing you where exactly it’s acceptable to leave your mark on me…’ she teased.

He almost groaned at those suggestive words, but instead he smiled and then closed the space between them in just a few long strides. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her to his side and then he started walking them down the corridor so rapidly that she was now the one trying to keep up.

‘I take it you like that idea?’ she asked, with a playful laugh.

Data glanced to her. ‘That is by no means certain, Kristen.’

*

Compared to Nadivya, Ranssoon was temperate and cool. It came as a relief for those beaming down there and as the _Enterprise_ would be in orbit for a few days whilst overseeing the conference in hand and ensuring the dignitaries had all they needed, it was also a basic comfort. Captain Picard, Commander Data, Lieutenant Commander Worf, Lieutenant N’Dya, Counselor Harper and an assortment of other officers left the ship in a group and it was Geordi LaForge who was left to oversee bridge operations and general shipwide duty.

The last time he’d had this role, he had not enjoyed it at all due to the dramas that had unfolded on Komos B. Being back in the hot seat wasn’t too difficult now, given that his colleagues and friends were not in any danger, but he didn’t want to make a habit of spending more time on the bridge than in Engineering. He knew his place and more than anything else, he knew where he was most comfortable.

Sitting in the Captain’s chair, he took the time to reflect on his shore leave. He and his girlfriend, Caroline O’Reilly, had begun their break time by staying for a few nights at Deep Space 2. They had been joined for a time by Dolan and his daughter Katalia, refugees from Komos B and people they had come to know during their stay on the _Enterprise._ Before long, Caroline had felt restless and so they had bid farewell to their friends and had beamed down to Earth.

They spent their time together in a variety of places, always travelling because of Caroline’s inherent wanderlust. Geordi had not minded that at all. He would follow her anywhere. They visited country after country, experiencing differences in culture and trying new foods. They stayed in hotels and with friends they made whilst travelling and, on occasion, they slept out in the open on beaches. It had been a seriously enjoyable break and best of all, it had brought them so much closer.

Geordi could hardly believe he’d finally found someone. He’d held a hope for years that one day he’d end up with Leah Brahms, a woman he’d longed for ever since he first interacted with a hologram version of her when trying to save the ship, but it proved over time that it wasn’t meant to be. When Leah made it clear to him that she was married and happily so, he had known to give up. It hadn’t been easy. It had taken a very long time in fact to get her out of his system. 

Really, he hadn’t ever believed that he’d find someone who could stir his emotions as much as Leah had, but then Caroline had come along and she’d awakened needs in him he’d tried to forget. 

For so long, he had divided his life between his work and his social life and he really hadn’t concentrated at all on romantic affairs. He had felt he wasn’t cut out for it. He’d always worked much better with warp coils, isolinear chips and dilithium crystals than he had with women. When he’d felt a burning need for relief, he had relied on the holodeck. Such fraternisations were clinical and unfulfilling, but it had been far better than being completely alone.

Caroline hadn’t been looking for love either and he supposed that had helped them get close. She just needed an understanding commanding officer and beyond that, a friend. Friendship heated up between them and now… now, Geordi couldn’t imagine life without her. 

Whilst he was overseeing the bridge, she was using her off-duty time to relocate a great deal of her personal items to his quarters. Along with feeling peaceful after shore leave, he also felt at peace with the thought that by the time he headed to bed, she’d be there and she wouldn’t be leaving. She’d be there every morning and every night. He’d always have someone to talk to and eat dinner with. 

Since Data, his best friend of so many years, had become involved in Kristen Harper’s life in a multitude of ways, there had been some distance between them. Being the good and understanding friend that he was, Geordi hadn’t complained. He had definitely missed Data, but he hadn’t wanted to hold him back. If anyone deserved to experience the joys, pleasures and pains of intimate love, it was Data, and Geordi was happy for him. He’d certainly been worried about him at times, but he’d still given him the freedom he needed to explore what Kristen showed him. 

Where Data had distanced himself, through no fault of his own, Caroline had settled in. Geordi reflected on how, if someone had said to him ten years ago, that he and Data would both end up in stable and loving relationships with wonderful, beautiful women, he would never have believed it. He would never have believed that Data would fit his emotion chip, grow accustomed to having human feelings, and that he would also develop so far as to be able to love and be loved in return.

Nor did he think that he himself would have been capable of letting someone into his heart. But that is exactly what had happened with Caroline. He was mad for her. 

‘Geordi?’ 

He’d been so lost in thought, he’d forgotten himself. Looking up, he saw Data standing in front of him. ‘Hey, Data,’ he said.

‘Are you alright? You appeared to be deeply introspective.’

He smiled as his friend sat next to him. ‘Yeah, I’m great. A bit of introspection never hurt anyone.’

Data nodded. ‘I too have been lost in thought today. Did you enjoy your shore leave?’

‘I did. Caroline and I spent three weeks travelling. It was great, just what we needed. How was your time in Croatia?’

Data smiled a little. ‘It was highly enjoyable. I have made a friend in Kristen’s brother. Her niece and I bonded too. She is an adorable child and highly enthusiastic.’

Geordi laughed. ‘So what is her brother like?’

‘Kind, comical and patient. He is an excellent brother, husband and Father,’

‘Great. Did Kris have a good time too?’

‘She did.’

Geordi nodded. ‘So what can I do for you?’

‘I am here to take nightwatch,’ Data replied, ‘did you forget?’

Geordi laughed then. He really had zoned out. ‘Believe it or not, yeah, I did.’ He stood up then so Data could take the Captain’s chair. ‘What time do you need me back here?’

’06:00 hours,’

‘Okay. No problem, Data.’ He was just about to turn and go when it occurred to him that it was a little unfortunate that his friend was still taking the nightwatch. Knowing his personal life, he also knew that Data resuming these duties meant that Kristen would be on her own throughout the whole night. It seemed a little unfair. ‘You know,’ he said, keeping his voice low, ‘you really should talk to the Captain about this particular duty.’

Data looked up at him. ‘I believe I understand what you mean,’ he replied.

‘You’re entitled to a daily schedule that at least partially fits with Kristen’s,’ Geordi added, ‘I mean, your shifts will conflict now and then but you should at least be able to spend the nights with her,’

‘I intend to speak to the Captain, when the time is right,’ Data agreed.

‘Alright, that’s good to hear.’ Geordi smiled. ‘I’ll be off then. See you tomorrow,’

‘Pleasant dreams, Geordi.’

LaForge nodded to him and then he said some polite farewells to some of the other staff on rotation and made his way to the turbolift.


	4. Spectrum

Once the Nadivyan dignitaries had been returned to their home planet, the _Enterprise_ headed off to tend to other duties. 

The next few weeks were spent going about missions that Captain Picard found to be rather uninspiring. Once or twice, he wondered if Riker and Troi had taken with them the sense of excitement and adventure he’d been used to be before the turnaround in his bridge crew. Those who continued to serve on the _Enterprise_ were hardly to blame for such matters and he did feel they understood his moods as they too had commented here and there on how they were looking forward to new discoveries, no matter how inexplicable or perhaps dangerous.

Due to a feeling of being somewhat disengaged with the responsibilities put to him by Starfleet command, Picard took to turning his attentions to the newest members of his crew. 

He had come to know Kristen Harper much better over the past few weeks and they had settled into a pattern of spending an hour or so together every day to talk. He approved of the fact that she was visiting the ship’s school a great deal, whenever she did not have a counselling appointment or some time to on the bridge to tend to, and he encouraged her to expand her knowledge on psychology by helping out as often as possible with the children aboard the ship.

Harper was continuing to prove herself to be a thoughtful and dedicated officer and Picard was coming to appreciate her quiet disposition and that she was unfailingly honest and eager to work long shifts without complaint. 

If anything, she was surprising him with her commitment to improving herself and working on her role on the ship. He could tell that she was still slightly intimidated by having to fill Counselor Troi’s place. Harper did not complain though and nor did she shy away from accompanying him in meetings, sharing her thoughts on diplomatic matters or even just listening to him share his reflections. 

She was not Troi, would never be Troi, but Harper was valuable in her own right and Picard was glad he’d promoted her.

Ben N’Dya, the new chief of security, was a softly-spoken man but he carried the same inner strength and determination that Picard remembered seeing in Worf when he first assumed that role at tactical. He lacked the fiery temperament that Worf had had, still had at times, and yet he was also serious enough to command respect. 

He listened carefully during debriefings, asked only intelligent questions and during his off-duty time, he either trained constantly on the holodeck or oversaw fitness programs for others. The man was deeply involved in many types of self-defence strategy and physical fitness and as of yet, Picard knew little else about him. Even his personnel file gave little away.

When he conferred with Harper about that, she suggested that he spend more time with him in general. It was the only way to get to know someone better, she pointed out, and so she said that Picard should maybe attend some of his classes. That much was a fine idea, or at least in theory. He went to three or more of those classes but then found that N’Dya seemed on edge, as though he could not lead the group sessions with his Captain present, because he felt he was being observed for reasons that might reflect detrimentally on his comportment. 

Frankly, he was worried that he was being watched.

Picard explained to him that he was simply trying to spend time with him and at that, N’Dya relaxed visibly and suggested they go to TenForward together instead. Picard did not spend much time in the ship’s bar, but on this occasion he thought it would be useful and so they headed there and ordered drinks. 

He could tell that N’Dya was not too much of a social person in general and they shared that much in common. He told him that once they sat down at a table and N’Dya replied that he was very focused on his work but that he was aware he needed to make time to strengthen the bonds he was still making with his colleagues.

‘And how are you finding your role on the ship so far?’ Picard asked.

N’Dya looked around the room and then looked back to his Captain. ‘I’m honoured to be the chief of security for the _Enterprise_ , Sir. It is of vast importance to me that I serve her well. Part of my daily training routine is to ensure that I am always at peak fitness, that I am always ready for anything,’

‘Part of undertaking your role is also to know your fellow officers. We are not a battle ship, Lieutenant,’

‘Of course. I know that, Sir.’ 

Picard sipped his tea. ‘May I call you Ben?’

‘Yes, Sir,’

‘Well, Ben. I would like it if you would perhaps go a little easier on yourself for the time being. Since you returned from shore leave, you’ve been working as though you’re expecting the ship to be taken over at any time. As you well know, we are hardly in danger right now and all has been peaceful with our missions. There really is no need for you to neglect getting to know the others by pushing yourself so hard. I would much rather you take stock of your place on the ship and those around you.’

N’Dya thought for a moment, his dark eyes exactly the same colour as his skin. ‘With respect, the reason I have been working that hard is because the _Enterprise_ has a reputation that precedes her. Some of the missions I have read about have been the most legendary and dangerous of all time. Forgive me for anticipating danger at any given moment. I suppose it would be accurate to say that I am quite literally awaiting the sound of the red alert klaxon. Perhaps you’re right and I should use this time to socialise more and train less…’

Picard could totally understand where N’Dya was coming from. Still, he felt that the man surely could not be trained any more than he already was and that it was much more important for him to integrate into the crew. 

‘You can still run your fitness classes and train, Ben. All I wish to suggest is that you also make some friends. A senior bridge crew, in my experience, work far better when some basic bonds are set in place. Trust and loyalty have to be worked on, for these things are not automatic. When I first took command of the _Enterprise D_ , it took me many years to appreciate the importance of comarderie. It took me seven years to even play a game of poker with my First and Second Officers and other trusted members of my staff. Don’t make the same mistakes,’ Picard said.

N’Dya nodded. ‘Thank you for taking the time to talk to me about this,’ he said, with the first real smile Picard felt he had seen on his face, ‘I won’t let you down, Captain,’

‘Good. I would also like you to spend an hour a week with Counselor Harper,’

‘Counselling?’ N’Dya continued to smile but it had cooled a little. ‘I’m… not psychologically unfit, Sir. You can check my records. I have no history of depression, aggressiveness, anti-social behaviour or-’

‘I wish you to meet with her because counselling is not all about therapy. Sometimes, seeing a Counselor can simply be about venting opinions and reflections to a person who is neutral and bound by confidentiality. Harper is good at her job and she is also warm and receptive. I think it would do you well to speak with her. There are one hundred and sixty-eight hours in a week and I am suggesting you spend just one with her. To talk about your life and your duties and to maintain the mental stability you clearly already have,’ Picard said.

N’Dya didn’t look entirely pleased about that but he accepted the suggestion as though it was an order. Which, Picard supposed, it was. ‘I’ll contact her when I get back to my quarters to see when she can fit me in,’ N’Dya said.

‘Good man.’

N’Dya drank some of his coffee and then he sighed. ‘I suppose there is one matter I would like to talk to her about,’ he admitted.

‘Oh?’

N’Dya took a moment to think. ‘I’ve been getting the feeling that Commander Worf thinks I am not quite fit for my position.’

Picard hadn’t noticed the two of them generating sparks, but knowing Worf as well as he did, it wasn’t a total surprise that he might have strong opinions on the officer who had taken his place. ‘What makes you think that?’ he asked.

‘He can be very critical,’ N’Dya revealed, ‘not to say that he’s rude or… well, actually, he has been a little rude at times but I sort of expected that from him as soon as I saw he was a Klingon. He’s not overbearing is what I meant to say, but over the past two weeks he has definitely made me feel that I could be better trained than I am. He’s observed some of my training programs and criticised them and he has also stopped me in the corridors or in a turbolift now and then and given me negative feedback. It’s been on my mind every day.’

_That explains one hell of a lot,_ Picard thought.

‘And this is an additional reason as to why you’ve been over-exerting yourself between shifts?’ he asked.

‘Maybe just a little…’ N’Dya said, ‘he’s a senior officer and I respect him greatly. I’ve been trying to take his suggestions on board and go about my duties as he used to do. He is a skilled warrior and fighter and learning from him is not something I’m about to deny myself. Still…’

‘Still, you would function better and be able to relax more without him breathing down your neck?’

N’Dya looked awkward then. ‘Yes, Sir. I hate to admit that… but it’s the truth…’

‘Leave it with me, Ben. I’ll ensure that he’s too busy to have the time to have the time to concern himself with your performance. You and he will find a way. He may well be your superior officer and the last man to run that area of tactical, but it is me who you answer to and not him,’ Picard said.

N’Dya nodded. ‘Alright. Thank you, Sir,’

‘Not a worry.’

After this meeting, when N’Dya had left TenForward to go about his business, Picard had a conversation with Guinan about how she was doing and then he decided to head back to his quarters. He was tired by then. His duties hadn’t tired him but the martial arts class N’Dya had overseen certainly had. He strode down the corridor and when he entered the turbolift, he found that Data and Lieutenant Harper were in there. 

They ceased their conversation immediately and acknowledged him with polite nods. 

‘Deck nine,’ he said, and then nodded back to them. The turbolift began to move. The silence that followed his words struck Picard as a touch unusual and so he faced his officers again. ‘Where are you headed?’ he asked, to start a conversation.

‘I’m done for today, Sir,’ Harper said, ‘I’m heading to deck nine too.’

Picard looked to Data. ‘And you?’

‘Nightwatch, Sir. I am heading to the bridge,’ Data replied. He glanced to Harper briefly and a look was shared between them.

Picard realised his inter-social duties as a Captain were not entirely over for the day at that moment and so he halted the turbolift. Data and Harper were visibly surprised by that. ‘I put a simple question to you both just now and after answering it, you both look as though you’ve been told we’re heading into battle.’ Picard waited for one or both of them to say something, but they just continued to look at him. ‘Do I have to order you to communicate with me?’ 

Data opened his mouth to speak but Harper beat him to it. ‘Before you entered the turbolift, we were just saying that it’s unfortunate that our evenings are so often spent in different places,’ she admitted.

‘Ah.’ Picard took that in.

‘Commander LaForge suggested to me some time ago that I should ask put this to you, but I had not yet found the appropriate or convenient opportunity,’ Data added.

‘Well, it seems that time is now, Number One,’ Picard replied, ‘what are your thoughts?’

Data glanced to Harper again and then back to him. ‘I would like to request that nightwatch be rotated, Sir. I am aware that when we served together on the _Enterprise D_ , it was invariably myself who maintained bridge cover, and that the same duty has extended itself onto this ship too… but I am in a situation now where I would greatly appreciate more free time in the evenings. I hope that it is not wrong of me to want that.’

Harper had started to blush. She glanced to Data, then at the floor and then at the ceiling. Then she looked to Picard, openly cautious. ‘It would mean a lot,’ she echoed, ‘if it’s not asking too much, of course. I would also appreciate it if Data didn’t have to take the bridge every night. Before shore leave, he was sometimes allowed nights off but since we’ve been home, he’s been undertaking nightwatch constantly. It would be wonderful if he could be relieved of that, even if only sometimes.’

Picard didn’t show it, even for a second, but he was touched by this request. ‘I see,’ he said.

‘If you deny us this request, I will not take it personally, Sir,’ Data added, ‘I am aware that as an android, who never gets physically tired, I am uniquely capable of such a duty. Should you choose to have me continue my responsibilities in this regard, I will do so without complaint,’

‘Yes,’ Harper said, ‘I mean… it’s hardly a life or death situation… but it would be nice…’

‘It would be appreciated,’ Data agreed.

Picard smiled at them then. ‘You are just as entitled to a personal life as anyone else aboard this ship, Number One,’ he said, ‘I have told you this before and hope that I do not have to again. You should have spoken to me about this earlier. What made you hesitate? You’ve had plenty of opportunities.’

Data sighed. ‘I was concerned you might think it an inappropriate request,’ he said.

‘It is far from inappropriate,’ Picard told him, ‘tonight you will cover the bridge as usual and then from tomorrow onwards, we will rotate the duty.’

Harper started to smile then. It lit up her dark eyes and happiness simply radiated from her. Data too was visibly relieved and his mouth tilted with a subtle smile of his own. ‘Thank you, Sir.’

Picard nodded and set the turbolift in motion again. 

When they reached deck nine, he stepped out and expected for Harper to follow him. He paused in his stride and turned to see if she was behind him, but when he saw she was not, he worked the situation out immediately. Seeing Data actively involved in a romance remained something he was getting used to, but it was real and true and serious. Harper was hanging back because she was waiting to get a few moments alone with Data before they’d be separated for the night and could not do that until her Captain had left them alone. 

‘Goodnight, both of you,’ he said.

‘Goodnight, Sir,’ they chorused in return.

He touched a button on the panel and the doors closed, giving them some privacy. 

At that, Picard smiled to himself. He did not want to know what was now going on behind those doors, but he was still uplifted by how far those two had come. He was still smiling when he started walking again and when he got to his quarters, he remained in a positive mood for the rest of the night.

*

Several days later, Lieutenant Harper was in the ship’s school. She’d been there many times as of late and by this point, she felt almost as comfortable there as she did in her new office. Back before she’d been promoted to ship’s senior Counselor, she’d had a little room of her own to work in, but now she had what at one time been Counselor Troi’s office and she was still getting used to all the extra room. It was nice; spacious and soothing with its soft colour-scheme and the decorative crystals Troi had left behind. 

Harper loved her time helping out at the school. Either between shifts or after shifts, she would spend hours helping out the teachers and working one-on-one with the kids. It helped pass time when she was waiting for Data to be off-duty and was also a great deal of fun. 

Some of the children had been shy at first but eventually they had warmed to her and now many of them greeted her with grins and open affection when she turned up. Those sweet little faces and the sound of their laughter was most definitely a tonic following long hours spent counselling adults through their phobias, fears and worries and Harper knew she was already coming to care for those children a great deal.

She had also started doing more research on child psychology in general. Harper had some knowledge and experience with such things due to her qualifications overall, but she knew now that she wanted to learn more. Their still-developing brains, personalities and emotional responses were fascinating and she also enjoyed monitoring how they interacted. 

As she helped a couple of little girls with colouring in some pictures they had drawn, suggesting crayon colours and soforth, that day’s teacher came to sit down and join them. The teacher was a big-hearted Bolian woman called Mrs Ernorr and Harper had liked her from day one, a feeling that was mutual. 

‘And what have we decided to draw today?’ Mrs Ernorr asked. 

The girl to Harper’s left lifted her picture. ‘I’m drawing a pony!’

‘Oh, how lovely. Let me see?’ Mrs Ernorr took the picture and smiled down at the pony. It was purple, had six legs, a unicorn horn and hair that was a scribble of rainbows. ‘Well, this is very creative, Victoria. You’re doing a wonderful job.’

The other little girl, Alloma, got up and pushed her picture over, eager for some feedback. ‘Mine! Look at mine!’

Harper smiled to her. ‘Just wait a second, sweetie,’

‘I’m sorry.’ The girl sat down again and bit her lip impatiently.

Mrs Ernorr asked Victoria if she was done with her picture and when she said she was, she asked if she would like to have it pinned on the wall where there was a kaleidoscope of other paintings and sketches. Victoria shook her head and asked if she could give it to Harper instead. ‘Would you like my picture, Kristen? You helped me to pick the colours!’

Harper was honoured. ‘I’ll treasure it. Thank you very much,’ she replied.

Victoria handed it over with pride.

‘Let me see your work, Alloma,’ Mrs Ernorr said then.

Alloma pushed hers over. She had drawn a blue sky with puffy white clouds, only the clouds had heads and legs and were clearly sheep instead and had gained the ability to fly. It was adorably imaginative and a little bit amusing, given that the sheep were all sporting toothy grins. ‘Do you like it?’ Alloma asked, wiggling in her seat, ‘is it as good as Vicky’s?’

‘It’s very, very good,’ Mrs Ernorr replied, ‘shall we put it on the wall?’

‘Yes please!’

The girls both stood up then. ‘Go on and pin your picture up and then you can go play for a while. I expect your parents will be off-duty soon and on your way to collect you,’ Mrs Ernorr told them, hanging the picture.

The girls smiled, joined hands and then ran off to do as they were told.

Harper looked down at the pony picture she’d been given. In a way, it reminded her of the fact her Father had always tried to make her create art. As a young child he had forced her to draw and as a teenager, he had done the same with painting. As an adult, she had no interest in creating artwork of her own and it was entirely due to those experiences. She had some fond memories of watching her Father paint and of helping him clean his brushes, but overall she knew she must leave those memories behind now. 

She hadn’t spoken to her Father since he’d discovered she was friends with an android and now? Well, so much had changed. He would never, ever accept her choices in life and really, never had. He hated she was in Starfleet, hated that she’d chosen psychology over art and as for the fact she was now in a committed relationship with an android? No. He would never accept that or him or anything else. Harper felt gratitude for her brother’s continued presence in her life. At least she had some family, even if only very little. It was better than none at all.

‘Kristen?’

She looked up from the drawing. Mrs Ernorr was still there and smiling at her, mystified. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I drifted pretty far that time, huh?’

‘You looked lost in nostalgia,’ Mrs Ernorr replied, ‘am I correct?’

‘I guess you could say that, yes.’

The schoolteacher got up, patted her shoulder and left the table for a minute or two. When she returned, she had coffee for them both. ‘What were you so nostalgic about?’ she asked.

Harper accepted her cup with thanks. ‘Oh, nothing really. Just some issues I need to leave behind. I think I already have really, it’s just that helping the girls with their art today made me think…’

‘But you’re okay?’

‘Totally fine,’ Harper assured.

‘Whilst I’m peppering you with questions, do you mind if I ask another?’

Harper laughed, amused. ‘Why not?’

‘I’ve been wondering about what inspired you to start lending a hand here. I did see you here on occasion before shore leave but now you’re a daily visitor.’ Mrs Ernorr smiled. 

‘I hope that’s not a problem,’ Harper said, ‘I don’t want to get under your feet,’

‘No, not at all. The children love you and I enjoy your company too. So do the other teaching staff. I’m just curious,’ Mrs Ernorr replied.

Harper nodded and sipped some coffee. ‘During my shore leave, Commander Data and I went back to Earth and we stayed with my older brother Robert and his wife and daughter for a few weeks. It was the most wonderful time. Data got to meet my family and we both got some time to rest after the last few missions. God knows I needed that much after Komos B, especially. Anyway, Data bonded really well with my niece and I did too. Spending time with her made me realise just how much I truly love children. It made me want to know them better, understand them…’

‘Aha.’ Mrs Ernorr nodded. ‘That’s a great reason to be here. Tell me about your niece.’

Harper thought for a moment. ‘Well, she’s young. She’s only two years old. She looks like all the Harper girls – dark hair and eyes, pale skin and freckles. She’s sweet-natured and always full of energy. Her name is Brinn.’

Mrs Ernorr smiled. ‘She sounds lovely. I’m sure she’d love to know that she is inspiring you to broaden the horizons of your career, when she’s old enough to understand,’

‘I agree. I can’t wait to see her again. I miss her laughter and her smile, even the way she smells… I miss watching her with Data too.’ Harper’s eyes softened with fondness. ‘I’m not sure that Robert thought he’d be capable of entertaining a child or earning her love but… well, Data is different to what most people think he’s truly like, when you get to know him. He’s not clinical or awkward, he’s just…’ She smiled and released a happy sigh. ‘I’ve never known him without emotions and so to me he’s always been sweet and kind and warm. He’s funny too. And charming. I can’t even imagine him without feelings… to me, he’s completely perfect, which is sort of foolish really because _no-one_ is perfect, but… yeah.’

Mrs Ernorr laughed a little, but it wasn’t impolite. 

Harper realised she’d drifted again, only this time it was on words of lovesickness instead of into a zone of bittersweet nostalgia. She blushed with embarrassment. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I do that sometimes. I’m utterly hopeless.’

Mrs Ernorr shook her head and then reached to pat her hand. ‘You’re not hopeless, Kristen. To me you look filled with hope. You’re happy too and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.’

Victoria came running over then. ‘Kristen, will you come and play with me?’ she asked.

Harper smiled and took her hand. At that moment, she felt as though she’d much rather sit with the children and continue to get to know them better than remain with their teacher, blabbering her feelings for Data and making an idiot of herself in the process. For the next half an hour, she joined in on an imaginary tea party – something else that reminded her of Brinn. She was seated at a small table between Victoria and one of her favourite dolls and she was given invisible tea in a tiny cup. 

Parents of the other children came into the school eventually and the room became emptier and emptier and quieter too. Harper was so involved in her time with Victoria that she forgot herself for a time and only realised it was time for her to go too when Data arrived, looking for her. When he approached the table, Victoria asked him to sit down and Harper smiled at him as he did so. He smiled in return, clearly glad to see her.

‘Would you like some tea?’ Victoria asked, offering him an empty cup.

‘Thank you.’ Data accepted the cup.

Harper felt her heart skip a beat when he pretended to drink from it.

_I really do love you so much… if you were any sweeter, you’d give me a toothache._

‘What sort of tea is this?’ he asked, tilting his head.

‘Raspberry,’ Victoria replied, with a cheeky smile.

‘I thought so. It is very good,’ Data told her.

They didn’t get more than a few more minutes because Victoria’s Mother arrived and then the child was whisked off to TenForward for dinner. Data helped Harper up from the table and asked her about the drawing she was carrying. She explained that it was a gift from Victoria and at that they went over to say goodbye to Mrs Ernorr and got on their way too.

‘What will you do with the picture?’ he asked, taking her free hand as they headed down the corridor.

‘I don’t know,’ Harper replied, ‘I’ll probably just keep it with some of my personal stuff,’

‘You do not wish to display it in our quarters?’

Harper laughed a little. ‘Hmm. I’m not entirely sure it will fit in with the kind of art we already have on the walls. A purple unicorn with rainbow hair might clash just a little alongside your watercolours and impressionist vistas and soforth.’

Data nodded. ‘I would not mind if you did wish to display it. We share my quarters now and as such, you do have the right to hang whatever you want to on the walls,’

‘That’s okay,’ she said, squeezing his hand, ‘but thanks, love.’

Once home, Spot padded over at once and Kristen bent to scoop her into her arms. Petting her, she followed Data through to his workstation and was a little surprised when he sat down immediately and started to type something into the console. She watched him for a moment or two and then she decided to sit down next to him. He appeared to be doing some routine checks; the kind of work he used to do when he was still stationed at the conn on the bridge. 

‘What’s going on?’ she asked, running her fingers through Spot’s ginger fur.

‘Nothing at present,’ Data replied, glancing to her briefly.

Harper smiled a little. ‘Then what are you checking?’

His fingers flew over the console with their usual speed and once he’d read some output and apparently been appeased by the information, he looked to her again. ‘I am… ensuring that the Ops station on the bridge is being satisfactorily maintained,’ he said.

At that, Harper sat back a little in her chair and considered him. ‘Why on earth would you feel the need to do that?’

Data tilted his head. ‘I have not as of yet questioned the motivation. I simply felt the need to make some checks and now I have done so, I feel I can concentrate on being off-duty,’ he replied.

‘You too,’ she mused, raising her eyebrows, ‘I wonder if I should have expected this sort of thing…’

‘I do not understand,’ he said.

‘Well, you’re not the only one who seems to be missing their old post, Data,’

‘I do not believe I am missing my station at Ops at all,’ he countered.

‘Then why else would you be checking that Worf is doing his job properly?’ Harper asked.

Data opened his mouth to immediately reply and then he hesitated, frowned a little, and closed his mouth again.

‘You know, it’s really okay,’ she said, with a small smile, ‘you worked at Ops for years and years. These days, you sit with the Captain and so do I. You’re bound to need to adjust to that,’

‘I have been serving as First Officer for weeks, Kristen,’ he said, ‘I believe I am settled into the position. Checking that the Ops station is being manned to optimum efficiency and accuracy-’

‘Is you doing exactly what Worf has been doing to Ben. Only in a much more subtle and non-confrontational manner,’ she supplied. 

He smiled at her then. ‘I do trust in Worf’s abilities,’ he tried to assure her, ‘but with him being so distracted by Lieutenant N’Dya, I thought it best to ensure that it is not resulting in any mistakes.’

Harper put Spot down and then she moved chair closer to Data’s. Leaning an arm on the console, she rested her head in her hand and gazed up at him. ‘And so whilst Worf is distracted by Ben and you’re distracted by Worf, who is going to run checks on your performance? Maybe I should. Shall I oversee that all of your duties are being completed to the highest standard? And then… whilst I am distracted by you, who will check that I’m doing my job? Guinan, maybe? Or Doctor Crusher?’

Data took that in. He smiled a little more and then he laughed. ‘I believe I understand the point you are trying to make,’ he said.

Harper smiled back at him. ‘Don’t worry about Ops. Worf takes his work extremely seriously, just like he takes everything in life extremely seriously,’ she assured him.

‘Yes.’ He lifted a hand then and touched the side of her face. ‘I know you are right.’

She leaned into his touch, her eyes closing fleetingly. ‘You know what I think would be a good idea?’

‘What?’

‘That we make use of the free time the Captain has granted you. If you’re going to shirk nightwatch just to sit here at your work station and indulge your paranoia, then it was kind of pointless us asking for it in the first place. Wouldn’t you rather do something nice?’

Data conceded to that by standing up and gesturing towards their living quarters. Harper stood and was just about to head in that direction so they could get on with the evening when he moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. She halted where she was and felt an aviary of butterflies flapping inside her, just at that unexpected embrace. Leaning her head back, she looked up at him and at that, he turned her around very slowly.

‘You okay?’ she asked.

‘Yes. Thank you for your concern,’ he said to her, when they were face-to-face, ‘and for knowing how to make me aware of pointless distractions. I appreciate your advice,’

‘All in the job description,’ Harper said, with a flustered smile. 

Data’s amber eyes gazed over her and she lost herself in them for a while. The same could be said for the golden hue of his lips and the soft smile he was giving her. ‘There are other duties we need to tend to,’ he told her.

Harper couldn’t think of a single one. ‘Huh?’

‘I need to feed Spot. You also should eat dinner. We are still in uniform.’

Slightly disappointed, she looked up at him through her eyelashes. Data wasn’t letting go of her, despite what he was saying. In fact, he had edged just a little closer to her and now her backside was hitting the ledge of his work console. ‘Those aren’t duties,’ she managed to say, ‘and they’re all things that can wait, really.’

_Apart from getting out of uniform. That sounds great right now. I suddenly feel rather overdressed…_

‘You said you would prefer to do something nice. Is this what you were thinking?’ he asked, moving a hand to the side of her neck and holding her there, gently so. His thumb brushed her chin and then her jaw.

‘Um, I wasn’t at the time but… I definitely am now,’ she whispered.

And then she was sitting fully on the console and he was standing between her legs and kissing her, not hurriedly at all, but with the sort of sweetness she knew only he was capable of. He’d complained before, many times in fact, about Spot jumping up on his workstation but apparently he had no problem at all with her being on there and especially in this fashion. Harper was still surprised, though. They usually kept this sort of thing in the bedroom, or occasionally in the lounge area. 

She broke their kiss to look up at him, a question in her eyes. Data looked back at her and she saw determination in that look that was so impassioned it was remarkably human. She started to smile then. He’d acknowledged the playful streak that ran through her, telling her that he liked it, and it occurred to her now that he was either emulating that or that he too had a nuance of mischief in him that he wanted to explore. At that, she put her arms around her neck and pulled him over her so that their mouths were fused again.

Data started to work open the fastenings on her uniform and their kiss ceased for only a moment as he pulled the top and undershirt over her head and then tossed them away. Kristen sank back into the kiss as he then freed her of her trousers and underwear too. She kicked off her boots one at a time and then she rested back a little on the console and started to undress him also. Desire was unfurling far too quickly for him to get to the same state that she was in and so as soon as he was shirtless and had unfastened his trousers, he was sucking on her lower lip as he stroked her core with knowing fingers.

‘Ahh…’ Kristen pulled back and looked at him.

He rested his forehead to hers and then pushed his fingers inside her. He didn’t move them, he just left them there and then used his thumb to circle her clitoris. She moaned again and stilled for a while, giving herself up completely to pleasure. Being filled and toyed with at the same time in such a way had Kristen gasping and though it was maddeningly good, she was relieved when he extracted those fingers and replaced them with his hardness instead. Data slid into her slowly, made a low sighing sound of enjoyment, and then she caught a glimpse of a smile on his face. That smile faded when he began to move, replaced by an expression of blissed-out focus. 

His arms were around her, keeping her close, and she was holding onto his shoulders and pink-cheeked as they made love. At times, his thrusts were slow and swaying and then at others, he sped up a little, making her cry out and match those thrusts with shallow ones of her own. Data sealed his mouth over hers, his tongue stroking hers, and when he gave it to her harder and deeper, Kristen was helpless in that she could not hold off the almighty climax that had been building inside her. She moaned into his kiss, started to tremble, and then she knew he was coming with her. Data slowed down again and the kiss broke as they moaned in unison. He gasped and murmured her name and then he slowed to a stop. It was over.

Kristen screwed her eyes shut, her mouth contorted. Somehow, she managed to hold his face to hers. He looked into her eyes right at the moment the ecstasy began to retreat and then he gave her another smile; a bewildered one this time. She laughed a little. Her whole body was trembling now but in the best way. 

‘That was unexpected,’ she whispered.

‘Perhaps for you, Kristen,’ he returned, giving her another languorous kiss, ‘I think of little else when we are alone.’

_May he always be this full of surprises…_


	5. Jethurn

Finally, after yet more weeks of perfunctory and lacklustre missions, something came up that Captain Picard was so intrigued by that he finally felt a touch of excitement. He was in the middle of a meeting with Counselor Harper when the mission came up and as he read through the briefing, he stopped listening to her thoughts on Commander Worf and Lieutenant N’Dya and zoned out completely.

A planet in Alpha Quadrant had unearthed some remarkable archeological artefacts and a group of exogeologists there had requested some support, because it was far beyond their field of expertise. The opportunity was not filled with the promise of action or even the kind of excitement that the _Enterprise_ was used to but the words ‘archeological artefacts never before seen’ piqued his curiosity instantly and he began to smile to himself. 

‘Captain?’ Harper said, ‘what is it?’

Picard looked to her and then he turned his conn screen around so she could see for herself.

She smiled too as she read. ‘Now this could be more interesting than ecological surveys, escorting dignitaries, compiling reports on anomalies or delivering supplies to starbases,’ she said.

He knocked on the table in agreement and then turned the screen around again. ‘Agreed, Counselor. I think we should look into this. Far be it from me to ignore a request for assistance, no matter how non-immediate.’

Harper took a sip of her coffee. ‘And of course, you love archaeology…’

He nodded to her. ‘I can’t deny that. This certainly appeals to my personal interests. Do you think it would be self-indulgent to take the mission?’

Her smile warmed even moreso. ‘What else are we going to do? I’d love to take part in an away mission. I’d also love for you to do the same.’

Picard mused for a moment. ‘It’s hardly my place to. My First Officer might wish to assert to me that it’s his place to see to the discoveries,’

‘I’m sure I can have a word,’ Harper said, mischievously.

So it was decided. The mission was accepted and the _Enterprise_ warped to the Alpha Quadrant without hesitation. It took a matter of two days to get there and by then, Captain Picard was more than ready to beam down to Jethurn and offer not only hands-on assistance, but also the knowledge he had about archaeology. 

Along with horse-riding, Shakespeare, fencing and playing the flute, archaeology was one of his true passions in life and his interest in it had only increased over the years. That he could also gather a great deal of information for Starfleet and help the exogeologists at the same time was just a bonus. It was a win-win-win situation for all involved.

Commander Data did mention that it wasn’t standard practise for a Captain to lead an away mission but he didn’t press the matter beyond the expected formality. Captain Picard nodded his thanks to Counselor Harper before he beamed down and then they was gone, accompanied by both of them, Lieutenant N’Dya and also a couple of junior Lieutenants who were going to record information. 

Jethurn was a planet not unlike those found in the Terran system; with oceans, deserts, glacial regions and also vast continents of forest, earth and jungle. The ruins that had been unearthed were in a forest area and were truly unique. Picard had never seen anything like them and had to truly control his enthusiasm upon seeing them for the first time. He asked Harper and N’Dya to stay with the junior officers as they asked questions and took readings with their tricorders whilst he and Data appraised the artefacts that had been found.

Hours of this much and Picard was still overwhelmed by the discoveries. To some, these items might just be clay pots and crude building tools, but to him they were a literal piece of history and something to feel true wonder over. He sat with one piece for a long time, trying to soak up its silent stories. It was a similar to an abacus but the beads it held were made of a precious stone that was green like jade and also red like carnelian. 

‘Sir,’ Data said, sitting by his side, ‘I have not seen you this moved by an inanimate object since we travelled back to April 4th, 2063 and were able to spend a few moments with the _Phoenix._ You have the same expression on your face now that you had then, when you laid your hands upon the ship.’

Picard looked to him and smiled. ‘You’re quite right, Number One,’ he replied, ‘and before you ask, the emotional processes are much the same.’

Data nodded. 

‘Here.’ Picard passed the abacus over.

Data took it and looked down at the item. ‘I am not sure that holding this will inspire the same feelings in me that they have in you, Captain. But… aesthetically, it is very beautiful. How old do you think it is?’

‘Many, many hundreds of years. Perhaps thousands,’ Picard replied. 

‘And do you think we will uncover more like it?’

‘I certainly hope that we will.’

A trio of Jethurnian natives approached them then. They too were visibly excited by the excavation and Picard was glad for that much. Those he’d brought with him from the _Enterprise_ might not appreciate the wonder of all of this but those on the planet certainly did. He decided that they would stay in orbit of Jethurn until he was quite sure that as much as humanly possible had been recovered. He was perhaps indulging himself slightly with his particular mission, but it was a rare occurrence and one Harper had definitely encouraged him not to worry about.

‘Captain Picard,’ a young Jethurnian woman said, ‘we have uncovered what appear to be more tools and perhaps some artwork. Would you like to see?’

Picard looked to Data. His First Officer nodded to him. ‘I certainly would,’ he said, getting to his feet, ‘just show us the way.’

* 

Commander Data remained with the Captain for a long time, taking in all that was being said. 

He was also passing the time by assessing the artistic merit of the paintings uncovered, approximating the period each artist seemed to be in at the time of their creation, wondering about the Jethurnians in general, analysing the poetry of Alfred Lord Tennyson, remembering exactly how many freckles Kristen had on her nose, trying to decide whether he preferred the violin music of Jascha Heifitz or Charles Dancla and considering the literature of George Orwell, John Steinbeck and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

When involved in a mission that was not personally meaningful, it was useful to be able to entertain oneself in such a way and it was something about being an android he very much liked.

Despite the fact Data did not waver in his concentration, the Captain did eventually notice that he’d been standing motionless for a long time and that he’d stopped contributing to the conversations at hand. He wasn’t dismissed from duty, but Picard did tell him he could go and find the other members of the away team and check on their work. 

A lick of relief made itself known and Data moved away at once. The shade in the forest was cool and somewhat dark; the floor beneath him dappled with only a minimum of sunlight that peeked through the leaves of the trees overhead. He acknowledged groups of natives or exogeologists as he passed them by and they returned the politeness with nods and hellos. 

The day was going well but it was going to be the first of many, if the Captain had anything to do with it. Data could tell that unless an emergency came up, the _Enterprise_ was going to be in orbit above Jethurn until the excavation was complete. He didn’t mind as such. It was pleasant to see the Captain so invested in something, despite the fact he shouldn’t be part of the away team at all, and also, the mood on the planet was peaceful. There was no danger, no need to be on-edge.

A narrow stream came into sight and Data followed it, knowing it would take him in the direction of the others. Now that he was completely alone, he allowed himself a small smile at the thought of being with Harper for a while. He hadn’t seen her for hours. Though that often happened when they were still on the ship; when she was not on the bridge because of her counselling duties or when he was elsewhere too due to his own responsibilities, he always missed her presence.

A while ago, he would have described that as his neural pathways being accustomed to her sensory input patterns. The thought of that made him smile too. He still had a unique way of expressing himself, but since he’d grown used to having emotions and had his whole life changed by falling in love, he’d come to be able to think with a little more heart. Data’s neural pathways were certainly accustomed to Kristen’s sensory input patterns but also, he just longed for her presence. He missed her scent, her voice and her pretty face, whenever they were apart. 

Life with her was perfect right now. He’d forgiven himself for the incident over the lovebite and though he wouldn’t forget it, he knew it was done. He’d learned a lesson and they’d moved on, just like they did every time there was a hiccup in their relationship. Data was aware that even when he was focusing on matters that truly did need his undivided attention, she was always in there somewhere. She had been for a very long time. Ever since they had first met. But now it was more than that. 

When he was performing diagnostics with Geordi in Engineering he was aiding his friend in every way but he was also replaying how she’d looked that morning when she’d first opened her eyes and awoken by his side. When he was with the Captain in his ready room and they were working through personnel reviews, he was also thinking about the scent of her hair and the sound of her laughter. When he was on the bridge and she was absent, he was paying attention to his colleagues, but he was also reliving affectionate things she’d said and done the previous evening, when they were alone. 

Being completely alone with her was how Data liked it best. He was not possessive, he respected the fact that Kristen needed to dedicate her time to a lot of people on the ship, but he did feel at peace when they were in their quarters with only Spot as an occasional distraction.

Spot had always been family to Data. Now that Kristen lived with them too, it was as though that sense of family had been extended. It was a most welcome and wonderful feeling. As was the fact that his quarters were now occasionally messy due to her presence. She wasn’t an untidy person, but when Kristen was in a rush she would sometimes leave her clothes on the bed or her empty coffee cups in the lounge area. 

Data loved that her cosmetic items were in his bathroom and that her psychology books were sometimes found scattered on his workstation. Sometimes she didn’t make the bed when she was the last to get up, but he liked coming home to that. He would make the bed with a little amusement and also a little distraction, remembering whatever they had done to make those covers such a mess. 

The physical aspects of their relationship were so constant now and especially since returning from shore leave. Not a day went by where they didn’t give in to their needs and make love. It was a most becoming part of Data’s daily routine, not that there was anything routine at all about those precious, intimate times.

Data remembered the days when she was his Counselor, back when she was a junior Lieutenant and semi-fresh from the Academy. 

Back then, he’d poured his heart out to her, every few days. He’d been her only patient and she’d been his main confidante. He’d told her about the two sole times in his life he’d had sex; with his long-departed friend Tasha Yar and with the maniacal biomechanical force that was the Borg Queen. Kristen had comforted him and encouraged him and told him that one day he’d surely get to experience true happiness. She’d even said that the person to bring him that sort of security might be someone he already knew.

And it had been her. 

Data laughed to himself, replaying that exact exchange with perfect clarity – as anyone else might view a home video of some special time. He had many recorded memories of many, many sweet moments they had shared. When they were Counselor and patient, when they were friends, when they were good friends, when they were getting closer and closer still. When they were new lovers. When they became a couple. All of it was stored within him and all of it was sacred. 

But that moment when she had said that special person might be someone he already knew… it was dear to him, like a promise, like a secret revealed. Even Data hadn’t known at the time of the foreshadowing she was unknowingly stumbling across but now time had passed and so many events had brought them to where they were, it was as heart-rending as it was ironic. 

Still following the stream, he emerged from the shadows of the forest and found himself in a glade area. Wildflowers were growing and he looked down at them, knowing he’d never seen any of them before, as he continued on his journey. When he looked up again, Data realised he could see the rest of the away team in the distance. He picked up his pace and as he moved, he glanced to the flowers once more and something occurred to him for the first time. 

He had never once given Kristen flowers. Years ago, when he had dated Jenna D’Sora, Commander Riker had recommended he make that sort of gesture and so he had done so. It had been gratefully received. Those Crystilia remained to be the only flowers he had ever given to anyone and now he was aware of that, Data felt slightly alarmed. He’d thought himself to be doing so well with this relationship and yet he had failed to make one of the most straightforward romantic gestures of all time. 

_This is inadequate. I must resolve this immediately._

Data paused then and he picked a flower. He wanted to pick several but had a feeling that it would be too grand an expression whilst they were both on-duty. One would suffice and the one he chose looked quite similar to a rose. It had a long blue stem and the flower petals were white with tints of silvery-purple at their edges. It smelt unusual – almost musky, but with a distinctive floral sweetness. Data started walking again as soon as he had it and as he got close to the other members of the away team, he held the Jethurnian rose behind his back.

As soon as Harper realised he was there, she gazed up at him and smiled. N’Dya had been talking to her but nodded and went over to the others as soon as he saw his commanding officer come near. Data waited for him to be out of earshot and then he smiled back at Kristen. 

‘How are things with the Captain?’ she asked, ‘is he still having the time of his life?’

‘I believe that to be an adequate description of how he is finding this mission so far,’ he replied, ‘it has been some time since I have seen him so enthusiastic,’

‘Yeah, it’s actually sort of sweet.’ Kristen laughed a little. Then she noticed he was holding something behind his back. ‘What have you got there?’ she asked.

Data showed her the rose then and Kristen’s expression wavered. Her lips parted a little as she drew in a gasp, her eyebrows shifted up and down and then she smiled in a sort of way that he’d seen before and knew to be indicative that she was deeply touched on an emotional level. Data felt a surge of love for her as he watched the pleasure fill her eyes, her pupils dilating. That surge of love increased as she took the rose from him and began to blush, happiness coming off her in waves. 

‘Oh, this is beautiful…’ she murmured, stroking the petals with careful fingertips, ‘thank you so much, Data. This is the first time you’ve ever given me a flower…’

‘When walking to meet you here, it occurred to me that I had not as of yet made that sort of gesture towards you and it pained me that it was so,’ he said, ‘I am sorry that it has taken me this long.’

Kristen looked up at him then, surprised. ‘Hey, that’s alright. I don’t need gifts to be happy,’

‘But it is what a solicitous mate should do. It is what is expected of me, as your partner…’ he replied, uncertain.

‘Not if I say it isn’t,’ Kristen shot back. She moved up-close to him then and put her hand to the side of his face. ‘ _You_ make me happy, love. Flowers are beautiful, but they die after a few days. What we have will never expire.’

Data longed to be off-duty. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and kiss her until she was out of breath, amongst other things. He wanted to be alone with her, in their quarters, so he could show her how much he loved and adored her. But they were working right now and so instead of giving in to the utter infatuation he was feeling, he simply took her hand from his cheek and kissed her fingers.

‘I love you,’ he told her, keeping his voice quiet, ‘and I will continue to give you flowers or other tokens, Kristen. It is something I want to do,’

‘Well… alright…’ she replied, ‘and I love you too. You’re such a sweetheart.’

They were interrupted then by one of the Lieutenants. It seemed that they had nothing else to do now they’d completed their duties and they were wondering if Data had anything else to suggest. As he didn’t, he decided that they should walk back through the forest and return to the Captain. That order was given and then everyone did just that –returning to the site of the archeological dig. 

Data badly wanted to hold Kristen’s hand as they walked, but that much would have been inappropriate. He kept close to her instead and though N’Dya had struck up a conversation with him, Data still couldn’t help but steal glances at his girlfriend. She was still marvelling over the rose, smelling it, touching the petals. He was deeply happy that she loved it so much, even after her protestations that she didn’t need material gifts. 

When they reached the Captain, he was involved in yet another new discovery. An underground room had been discovered and as the Jethurnians were slowly uncovering it, they were finding that it seemed to be something of a medical unit. It was still very early in deciding on that, but Picard was almost certain of it. He was so excited that he told Data and the others that he would remind on Jethurn whilst they returned to the _Enterprise_. 

Data and N’Dya were unsure that he should be left completely alone but Picard waved them off, assuring them that he was fine and did not need to be fussed. 

At that, they were beamed back to the ship. Once out of the transporter room, Data dismissed everyone from duty and then he and Kristen were walking down the corridor to their quarters. He was wondering what they should do that night. Geordi had recently expressed an interest in he and his girlfriend Caroline joining them for dinner in TenForward at some point soon and it did occur that they had the opportunity to do so now. He mentioned it to Kristen and she agreed that it sounded nice. 

Data tapped his comm badge. ‘Data to LaForge.’

There was a chirrup. ‘LaForge here. How’s it going?’

‘All is fine. Kristen and I were discussing our plans for this evening and thought it might be pleasant to meet with you and Caroline for dinner, if you are both free,’

‘Oh, okay. Caroline is still in Engineering at the moment but we can meet you there when she’s done. How does 20:00 hours sound?

‘That is acceptable. Data out.’

Kristen smiled at him. ‘We’ve never had dinner with another couple,’ she mused, ‘it seems like today is a day for firsts.’

Data was just about to agree with that when suddenly there was motion in the corridor and the sound of someone calling Kristen’s name. They both turned and that was when Victoria Preddy, the little girl he’d met in the ship’s school recently, came racing towards them. She launched herself into Kristen’s arms and was caught easily enough, even though Kristen was taken offguard.

‘Kristen!’ Victoria said, yet again, ‘you didn’t come to school today!’

‘I know, sweetie,’ Kristen replied, managing to pass her rose to Data so it wouldn’t get crushed by the child now clinging on to her, ‘but I’ll be there tomorrow.’

Victoria pushed some blonde hair back from her face. She was panting from all the running and her face was glowing with a pink blush. ‘I missed you. Mrs Ernorr said you were busy with Captain Picard. Where did you go? I played with building blocks today. We had coconut cookies as a treat. Where did you go? Was it scary? I can count to two-hundred!’

‘Oh!’ Kristen laughed, overwhelmed, ‘well done! Counting to two-hundred isn’t easy. I’m proud of you for being able to do it!’

‘Yes, but… where did you go? Where did you go?’

‘I was on an away mission and no, it wasn’t scary at all.’

Phoebe Preddy, the child’s Mother, caught up to them then. ‘I’m sorry about this, Counselor,’ she said, looking completely embarrassed, ‘she’s been a handful since she left school. Come here, Vicky. Let the Counselor go now.’

Victoria pouted but she did let Kristen help her down to the floor. She took her Mother’s hand and then peered up at them both.

Lieutenant Preddy shook her head at her and then faced them both. ‘I won’t let this happen again,’ she said, her tone tight.

Data was confused. ‘I fail to see an infraction,’ he told her.

Kristen laughed. ‘Me too.’ She bent over so she was at eye-level with Victoria. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, okay, sweetie?’

Victoria started to smile again. ‘Yes. Bye Kristen. Bye Mister Data.’

Lieutenant Preddy sighed and then she pulled the child away. Data watched them go, still somewhat confused, and then he glanced to Kristen. ‘Before you ask me, I have no idea why Lieutenant Preddy was so embarrassed. I mean… we are bridge officers but that doesn’t mean people can’t talk to us, even kids. I don’t get it,’ she said.

Data handed her the rose again, took her hand and they started again on the journey to their quarters. When they were there, they slipped through the doors and Kristen went straight to the replicator, procuring a vase for her rose and two coffees. Data knew he didn’t need to update the ship’s log on that day’s activities, as the Captain would surely be looking forward to doing that himself when he returned, and so he decided to get out of uniform and then feed Spot. 

Kristen changed too and when they’d had their coffee, they decided to head to TenForward early to wait for their friends. 

Guinan was doing one of the occasional rounds of the room she did when they entered. They drifted over to one of their preferred tables and she drifted towards them. Data knew that Guinan and Kristen had a long-standing friendship and as he too knew her well, he invited her to sit with them for a while. 

‘How have you both been?’ Guinan asked, her hands steepled in front of her. 

Kristen was beaming with happiness, as she almost always was these days. ‘Great, thanks,’ she said, ‘we’ve been down on Jethurn all day today,’ 

‘Yes, I heard about that and the archeological excavation. I imagine that we’re going to be here for some time. The Captain does love old things. I should know. I myself am an old thing,’ Guinan replied, with humour simmering in her eyes.

Kristen laughed and patted the back of her hand. ‘Well, wisdom comes with that much. I should know. Your wisdom has helped me out more times than I can say.’

Guinan took that compliment with a graceful smile and then she looked to Data. ‘How are you doing, Data?’

‘I am fine, thank you. I hope you have been well also?’

‘Oh, you know me. Nothing much changes in my life. And even if it did, no-one would ever know,’ she replied, amused. ‘So what brings you both here this evening? Can I bring you drinks or dinner? Or are you here for some other reason?’

‘We are here to meet Geordi and Caroline for dinner,’ Data replied.

‘That sounds nice. He was in here at lunchtime, but not for long. He rushed down some pasta and then he was out of here again,’ Guinan said.

‘Did he mention if anything was amiss in Engineering?’ Data asked, with a concerned tilt of his head.

‘No, he didn’t. I’m sure everything is fine. He never stays here for a long time during his breaks,’ Guinan replied. ‘So? Shall I bring you both something to drink?’

‘Yes, alright,’ Kristen said, ‘anything new you’d recommend?’

Guinan stood from the table. ‘I’ll see what I rustle up for you both,’ she said, and then left them alone.

Data watched her go and then he looked to Kristen and found her already watching him. She had one of those fond smiles on her face again, the type that enhanced her natural prettiness and made her eyes shine. He was sure he’d never tire of seeing her look so happy and neither would he ever tired of ensuring she always had what she needed. 

Data considered her in return and then something unexpected occurred within him. It crossed his mind, fleetingly so but with weight and tenebrous shadow, that he had almost lost her in the past and he would almost surely come close to losing her again at times as their careers and lives proceeded on. He got a mental impression of what life would be like if she left him, or if she died, or if she fell out of love with him for some reason.

Concerned, Kristen moved closer to him and put her hand on his arm. ‘What is it, love? You look sad all of a sudden.’

Data snapped out of his reverie then, wondering where such a spontaneous and darksome line of thought had come from. ‘I am fine,’ he told her, confused and also glad to have pushed those doubts and worries away. He took her hand and pressed a soft kiss to her palm. ‘All is well, Kristen.’ 

*

Captain Picard returned to the _Enterprise_ far, far later than he had intended to. 

He was worn, dirty and longing for bed but before he returned to his quarters and turned in for the night, he knew he needed to check in on the bridge and also spend a few minutes in his ready room, recording the events and discoveries of the day. As he got into the turbolift, he stood still and narrowed his eyes in thought. He wasn’t sure where to begin with the ship’s log. He wanted to enthuse many details about the underground medical unit he had helped to unearth but there was much more to record before he got to that point.

When he stepped out of the lift and onto the bridge, Worf turned and looked at him from the Captain’s chair and then he stood. ‘Good evening, Sir,’ he said.

‘Mister Worf.’ Picard nodded to him. ‘All is running smoothly, I trust?’

‘Yes.’ Worf nodded. ‘And the away mission?’

‘Quite perfect,’ Picard replied. ‘I will leave you to proceed with nightwatch. If you need me, I’ll be in my ready room for a while,’

‘Yes Sir.’ Worf sat down again.

Picard turned and headed straight to his private office. What he did not expect, what he could never have expected, was to find someone already sitting behind his desk. He halted as the doors closed behind him and then he stood there and stared. As soon as he recognised the man in the Captain’s uniform, that identical to his own, and the haughty demeanour with which he reclined in his personal chair, he closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. 

‘Mon Capitaine! I’ve been getting bored waiting here for you. It’s about time you got back!’ the man said, his eyes bright and his smile wide.

Picard opened his eyes again. No, this wasn’t a dream. Or a nightmare. ‘What do you want, Q?’ he snapped, his previous content mood completely eradicated.

Q let his booted feet drop from the desk and then he stood up and moved over to him. ‘How about we start things off with a handshake? It has been a long, long time, after all.’ 

He offered his hand and Picard just stared at it. 

_Ce que l'enfer frais est present…_

 

** Ce que l'enfer frais est present - ‘What fresh hell is this?’

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : It's my birthday tomorrow and it would truly make my day to get some feedback on how you guys think this is going so far ;) xx


	6. Surveillance

‘Alright, we don’t have to shake hands. How about a big hug instead?’ Q opened his arms.

Picard gave him a glare so cold it could have frozen liquid nitrogen and then he moved passed him and sat down at his desk. He switched on his conn and though he hadn’t intended to check ship operations before heading back to his quarters, it now felt like a fine idea indeed.

Q dropped his arms and then he turned and put his hands on his hips. ‘I rather thought we’d progressed beyond all of this cold-shoulder stuff, Jean-Luc. You can’t say we haven’t warmed to one another over the years. You and I… we’ve been through so much!’

Glancing up from his screen, Picard scoffed. ‘I have not warmed to you, Q. I have learned to tolerate you to some extent, but that does not mean you are welcome on my ship,’

‘So frosty, so unforgiving,’ Q chided, ‘I thought you might have mellowed at least just a little over the years but clearly you’re still as petulant as ever. You know, having friends in high places isn’t as detrimental as you might imagine. If you could only learn to relax a little, you could perhaps come to appreciate me as the friend I know I am to you.’ 

Picard fought the urge to roll his eyes. ‘I think the more pertinent matter is what you are doing here at all. What do you want?’ he snapped.

Q sat down on the chair opposite his desk and leaned forward. ‘Honestly? Being a family man is all good and well but if there’s anything that makes one want to touch base with old acquaintances, it is spending your time watching your offspring get older. So many years have gone by and they’ve been a blur to me. That’s how busy I’ve been! I love being a Father, you know. I bet you never thought you’d hear me say that,’

‘I hoped I’d never hear you say anything ever again,’ Picard said, his eyes cold.

Q waved a dismissive hand at him, as thick-skinned as ever. ‘Anyway… now that Q junior is growing up, I’ve been looking to the past and it made me realise how much I’ve missed you all. I’ve spent time with many starships and on many starbases, indulging my curiosity about humanity overall-’

‘Curiosity!’ Picard barked, ‘I would hardly call it that, Q! You put us on trial _twice_ , you tried to manipulate Riker into joining the Continuum, you played games with my crew endlessly, myself included, you-’

‘Jean-Luc, you should calm down,’ Q said, wagging a finger, ‘you’re not getting any younger, you know. Stress can be bad for the _heart._ ’

At that Picard pinned him with a studious expression. 

If there was one positive thing Q had done for him, it was making him realise just how vital it was to not live a life of regret. He had been injured by terrorists during a diplomatic mission and when he had ‘died’ he had found Q waiting for him on the other side, proclaiming himself to be God. Q had then taken him on a journey through time, showing him how an injury he’d had as a youth – an injury that had resulted in his human heart being replaced by an artificial one – and the reasoning behind that injury was not something to be regretted. Had things been different, his life would have been dull, plodding and worthless. 

Despite himself, Picard was somewhat grateful for that experience and the lessons he’d learned. Q had opened his eyes and his mind too. He couldn’t deny it.

With a sigh, he raised his eyebrows. ‘So. You’ve ‘missed us all’ and… where is this going?’ he asked, without vitriol in his tone this time.

Q leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his head. ‘I’ve decided to take a vacation, to get in touch with my roots and old friends, and it is your ship I have chosen to stay on,’ he said.

_This does not bode well at all._

Picard opened his mouth to deny him the request but Q looked at him and shook his head. ‘You can hardly throw me off the ship, Jean-Luc. Nor can you have Worf throw me in the brig. You cannot even confine me to a detention cell. The only choice you have is to let me stay until I feel I have studied you all for a while and taken my rest. When the time comes, I will leave peacefully and we will all be the better for it. So what do you say? Shall we agree to this arrangement on amicable terms?’

‘If you are on vacation, then why on earth would you want to study any of us? I concede that I cannot get rid of you but I will not permit any type of surveillance whatsoever.’

Q laughed. The sound was grating. ‘And how will you prevent me from doing that?’

Picard shook his head. ‘I can’t prevent you. But I can ask you not to involve yourself with my crew. You’ve done that far too many times already.’

With a shrug, Q smiled at him. ‘I won’t put any of you on trial. I won’t use my omnipotence to play around with timelines or perform miraculous, life-changing experiences. I’ll just hang around. Have fun. You know, be one of the boys,’

‘One of the boys with an IQ of 2005,’ Picard said. He’d never forgotten that fact.

Q’s smile became a grin. ‘Exactly.’

They looked at one another for a long moment and then Picard broke the stare and turned off his conn screen. ‘Clearly, I have no choice in any of this,’ he said, ‘you are going to stay and you are going to meddle, cause trouble and be the same negative influence you have always been. I see that now,’

‘I’ve changed!’ Q cried, ‘being a Father has seasoned me! You’ll see, Jean-Luc. You’ll see how much I’ve grown. You might even say I’ve become more human…’ 

Picard stood up from his desk. His tiredness was growing by the second and this farce was jangling his nerves in more ways than one. The whole thing was beyond tiresome and they’d only been talking for a matter of minutes. ‘There is nothing human about you, Q. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to my quarters. I have about six hours to rest before I will be beaming back down to Jethurn and I intend to use them well.’

Q stood up too. ‘Yes, I know about your little mission. Rather selfish isn’t it? To be digging in the mud when you could be helping people? Seeking new worlds and new civilisations instead of studying old, fragile things?’

Picard snapped his gaze to him, steel-coloured eyes colder than ever. ‘And the antagonism begins already,’ he said.

‘Alright, alright, alright.’ Q held his hands up in surrender. ‘My apologies, mon Capitaine.’

Moving over to the doors, which opened immediately, Picard gave Q one last glare. ‘Stay out of trouble and do not bother my staff,’ he warned.

Q kept his hands aloft and grinned like a shark. ‘I’ll be a good boy, I promise.’

Picard left the room and didn’t even pause to tell anyone on the bridge that Q was back. Instead, he went straight to the turbolift, entered it and then rubbed his face with a weary hand. 

_Q can’t stay out of trouble,_ he thought to himself, _Q is trouble._

*

Word spread quickly that Q had returned to the ship and though Captain Picard did spend the whole of the following day on Jethurn, working on the underground medical unit with Data, N’Dya, Worf and some other officers, he called a staff meeting in the observation lounge as soon as he beamed back. He hadn’t seen Q about the ship thankfully but he heard that dreaded name mentioned several times as he made his way to the meeting. Doctor Crusher, Commander LaForge and Counselor Harper were already there and all three of them looked up as he and the others came in.

‘Captain,’ the Doctor said, her eyes tinged with worry, ‘I can’t believe you’re allowing this to happen! I do not want him anywhere near sickbay and I’m stating that right now!’

‘Yeah,’ LaForge added, ‘Engineering is out of bounds too. Q will be there for two minutes or less and he’ll manage to eject the warp core or-’

Picard raised a hand to silence them as he slid into his chair. Worf and Data sat at either side of him and Lieutenant N’Dya sat down next to Harper. ‘Your concerns are respected and completely understood, trust me,’ Picard said, looking to each of them in turn, ‘but what you must consider here is that, as always, Q does whatever he wants to do whenever he wants to do it and nobody can exert any control over that. What would you have me do? I would like nothing more than to exile him but how can I do that? If you have suggestions, I am open to hear them.’

Doctor Crusher sighed and shook her head. 

‘He will use us as playthings,’ Worf growled, ‘that is what he does. He toys with us for his own entertainment and is only satisfied when we are at his mercy! He is like a child pulling the wings from an insect! He is cruel and has nothing but contempt for humanity!’

‘There is no doubt of that,’ Picard conceded, ‘but I put it to you again – how do you expect me to force him off the ship?’

Worf frowned. ‘You cannot do that, Sir. None of us can. I detest this situation already and I haven’t even seen him yet.’

LaForge nodded. ‘Same here. He’s not exactly a benevolent presence, is he? He won’t take any opportunities to fit in and he won’t try to be liked. I don’t get why he’s here at all.’

Data looked to Picard. ‘Sir. What exactly did Q say to you?’

‘He said that he is taking a vacation. He wants to touch base with us all,’ Picard replied.

Doctor Crusher laughed in exasperation. ‘We’re hardly old friends of his,’ she said.

‘Unfortunately, he does see us all as old friends. He wants to spend time with us and that seems to be his main purpose,’ Picard explained.

Harper had been listening carefully to all of this for a while. Wondering what she was thinking, Picard gestured to her and at that she looked his way. ‘I know I’m supposed to offer some sort of psychological standpoint right now but as I’ve never met this person, I really don’t know how I can be of any assistance, Sir,’ she said, ‘maybe I should meet with him and then I can stand a chance at understanding his intentions,’

‘I wouldn’t recommend that, Counselor,’ Doctor Crusher put in, ‘he’s manipulative and arrogant and downright rude. You’re not going to be able to analyse him without a real fight on your hands,’

‘I too believe that such a meeting would be disadvantageous,’ Data added.

‘Unfortunately, I think it is rather inevitable that Q will be paying you a visit,’ Picard told Harper, ignoring the concerns of the others, ‘and when he does, I would use the opportunity to try and make him open up and talk. There has to be more to this than him simply needing a holiday. Honestly, I am highly suspicious but as I keep stating, I am not sure what choice I have here other than to allow him to stay until he eventually gets bored and heads on to torment others.’

On cue, there was a flash of light then. Q appeared and was dressed in a Captain’s uniform again. He was seated cross-legged on the opposite end of the table. ‘This is all very fascinating, my friends,’ he drawled, ‘do continue.’

Everyone stared at him, speechless.

‘Actually,’ he added, ‘before you do continue speculating on me, I would like to ask where Riker has gone? And where is Counselor Troi? I don’t know you…’ He nodded towards Lieutenant N’Dya and then he looked to Counselor Harper. ‘And I don’t know _you_ either. Just how much have I missed, Jean-Luc?’

Picard held back from giving him an acerbic answer and instead he took a moment before speaking to ensure he wouldn’t give in to the difficult mood that was rising inside him. ‘Riker took his own command and Troi went with him. They are now serving on the _USS Titan._ Lieutenant Ben N’Dya is now the head of security, Worf is my Second Officer and Data is my Number One. Counselor Harper was promoted to fill Troi’s position. There has been a turnaround in my bridge crew,’ he explained.

Q mused over that. ‘Well, that’s a shame. I was hoping to visit with old friends, not make new ones,’ he said.

‘If you are endeavouring to integrate into ship life, then I might suggest that the first thing you do is try to ignite as many friendships as you can,’ Harper advised.

Q shot her a contemptuous look. ‘Hmm.’

‘Q,’ Picard said, to get his attention, ‘you told me last night that you are more seasoned now that you are a Father. I would assume that much has taught you lessons on perseverance and respect and yet you still convey yourself as someone who loves an opportunity for confrontation.’

With a smile, Q leaned back on his hands. ‘I’m still me, Jean-Luc. But you’re right; perhaps I should relax somewhat and let you all get to know me as the new man I have become.’

Data spoke up. ‘May I ask a question?’

‘Yes, Mister Data, you may,’ Q said.

‘If you _are_ more seasoned now, then do you regret your past actions? Do you regret putting us on trial for the crimes of humanity?’

‘Of course not. I did what I had to do,’ Q replied.

‘You see!’ Worf exploded, ‘he hasn’t changed at all! He’s still the childish tyrant he has always been!’

‘It seems you haven’t changed either,’ Q said, narrowing his eyes, ‘and feel free to keep talking, Worf. There’s a chance, albeit a small one, that one day you might have something intelligent to contribute.’

Worf bared his teeth and clenched his fists.

‘Back to the debate,’ Q decided, with an air of total aloofness, ‘we were discussing the fact I have put humanity on trial in the past. That much is not on my list of priorities anymore. As much as those sorts of adventures truly were the highlights of my pre-child existence, I have grown to favour other, less mischievous past-times. My presence here is not something to be suspicious about and you do not need to analyse me or waste your time trying to figure me out. I am here, as Jean-Luc has stated already, to spend time with you all. That’s it.’

LaForge looked unimpressed. Doctor Crusher folded her arms and stared down at the table. Data did not show any obvious emotion, but he was watching Q very carefully.

‘What?’ Q demanded, ‘I’m telling the truth,’

‘I doubt that,’ LaForge said, ‘and I’d appreciate it if you’d stay out of Engineering. The last thing I need is you down there, messing with people’s heads,’

‘I will definitely be visiting Engineering,’ Q shot back, ‘but I won’t be playing any games. You’ll see.’

Picard once again checked the looks on the faces of his bridge staff. None of them looked appeased at all. Harper seemed to be feeling rather open-minded, judging by her expression, but it seemed she wasn’t going to try and add anything at this time.

‘Of course…’ Q said, lifting a hand so he could study his nails, ‘if you are all so obsessed with being in my courtroom, I could certainly take us back there right now. I could do that in a heartbeat, if that’s what you all really want. Or… if you take on board what I’m saying and extend just a modicum of trust to me, I could investigate you and other crew members one by one, which is surely a much less invasive and stressful way of going about this situation?’

Picard hated that he agreed with Q’s reasoning, but he did. He would much rather have him try to fit in aboard his ship and converse with his crew in this way than have him take all of them back to that damned courtroom. ‘We will extend a modicum of trust to you,’ he said, ‘and nothing more.’ 

Q started to smile. He jumped off the table and stood by the door with his hands behind his back, the way Starfleet officers were trained to hold their comportment. ‘Then this meeting is adjourned, I should think?’

‘I suppose it is,’ Picard said, ‘everyone is dismissed.’

Worf was the first to leave the room, muttering to himself in Klingon as he did so. N’Dya, LaForge and Doctor Crusher also headed out, silent and looking very uncomfortable indeed. Harper gave Picard a consoling look and then she too left the room. Data waited, in case he should be given any orders and at that Picard decided it might be a good time to give Q some personal quarters. 

‘Number One, will you designate some quarters to Q and escort him there now?’

‘Aye Sir,’ Data said, going over to Q. ‘If you will follow me?’

Q nodded to him and then looked over to Picard. ‘Very hospitable of you, Jean-Luc. You have my gratitude.’

Picard said nothing as Data and Q left and as soon as the doors closed he stood from the table. He went over to the viewport window and stood there for a long time, watching the stars on occasion or looking down upon the blue and green orb that was Jethurn. This experience was testing already, but he knew that Q had put them through far worse. 

What was left to be seen was whether the contemptible fool would keep to his word.

* 

Almost an entire week went by as the ship remained where it was and though all of the bridge crew expected for a trick or a mishap to take place, nothing happened. Q wandered around and made conversation with people and though he kept away from TenForward for his own reasons, he did make appearances literally everywhere else. 

He loitered in the cargo bays, made his presence known in sickbay, took lengthy walks through the Arboretum, spoke with people in the corridors, lazed around in the observation lounge or Captain’s ready room and when he was on the bridge, he behaved as the other duty staff behaved. 

Q hadn’t earned anyone’s trust yet but nor had he caused any trouble. His attitude remained lofty but as much as he was droll and sarcastic, he was also unusually helpful when he had the opportunity. He offered to help out on Jethurn too, but Picard told him he would appreciate it if he kept his distance with this particular mission. Q teased him a little about that and then he let it go.

The second time that Harper saw Q, she was in the ship’s school again. He wandered in as though he owned the place. 

Mrs Ernorr looked as though she was going to ask him to leave immediately but as she’d been told not to interfere with him, she simply frowned and continued reading a story to the children. Kristen was sitting on the floor with the kids. She had Victoria by her side, Alloma on her lap and a little boy called Eisnon leaning against her as he tried to stay awake. Story time was always a quiet time and many of the children would fall asleep before the end of the book.

Kristen watched as Q wandered around the room, picking up toys and putting them down again and peering at the artwork on the walls. Then, when he was apparently bored, he came over and sat down with everyone else.

Mrs Ernorr gave him a cool glance and then she turned a page and read on.

‘Hello again,’ he whispered.

Kristen looked to him with a polite smile. She had researched his past with the _Enterprise_ crew upon hearing him mentioned for the first time and though she knew he was not liked and for good reason, she had decided to take him as she found him. He hadn’t hurt anyone really and nor had he done her any wrong. ‘Hello,’ she replied.

‘What’s the story?’ he asked.

‘It’s ‘The Secret Garden’ by Frances Hodgson Burnett,’ she said.

He nodded and then noticed that Eisnon was staring up at him, his eyes wide. ‘Who are you?’ he asked.

‘I’m a being from an omnipotent collective known as the Q Continuum,’ Q replied.

Eisnon frowned and looked to Kristen. ‘What did he say?’

‘His name is Q,’ she replied, ‘he’s staying with us for a while,’

‘Oh,’ Eisnon said, relaxing.

Mrs Ernorr looked up from her book. ‘Can you be quiet at the back, please?’ she said.

‘Sorry,’ Kristen said, giving her a nod and a smile.

Q didn’t say anything else for the entirety of the time he was there. He stayed where he was and listened to the rest of the story and then when it was over and the children’s parents had started to arrive, he simply got up and strolled out of the room. 

Kristen watched him go, wondering about him and about the miracles and magic he was apparently capable of and then she was distracted by Alloma wanting some help in tying her shoelaces.

She had some counselling appointments with patients after that and so it was 21:00 hours when she finally returned to her quarters. Data was home already and was practising violin. She heard that before she saw him and it made her smile to herself. Moving in the direction of that wonderful music, a Nocturne she loved by Chopin, she found him in his work area. He had his back to her and as he struck the bow against the strings, he moved his left arm this way and that in a very practised fashion. 

Kristen waited until he was done and then she let him know she was there by clapping her hands.

Data turned around and his eyes widened subtly. ‘Thank you. I did not realise you were back,’ he said.

‘I know you didn’t,’ she said, moving closer to him. He very carefully put his violin and bow down on his work station and then he reached for her and she moved into his arms with a content smile. They held each other for a long moment and then she rested her chin on his chest and gazed up at him. ‘Do you think you’re ready for the concert?’ she asked.

‘I believe so,’ he replied, ‘I have a practise with the others tomorrow afternoon and then we will perform the following day. I hope you will be able to attend,’

‘I wouldn’t miss it,’ she said.

Data held her face then, kissed her forehead and looked into her eyes. ‘You appear thoughtful,’ he said, ‘or am I reading you incorrectly?’

Kristen smiled at him. ‘I’m fine. I’ve just come from a couple of therapy sessions,’

‘And before that?’

She took his hand and led him into their lounge area so they could sit together. Data sat first on the sofa and then she followed him, smiling again when he put his arm around her. She rested her legs on his lap and then answered his question. ‘I’ve been with the children again. It was a lovely day, all in all,’

‘What occurred?’ he asked. Even after all this time of knowing him, he still always asked about her day and was interested in even the least interesting of details.

‘Well, we taught the kids how to sculpt with clay in the morning. It was very messy but very fun and they loved every moment. Then we had a break for lunch and after that we practised arithmetic and then it was story time. That was when Q showed up,’ she said.

Data was the one to look thoughtful then. ‘How did he behave? Was he untoward?’

‘No, he was fine. He didn’t say much. He asked what Mrs Ernorr was reading, spoke with one of the boys and then he stayed quiet and behaved himself,’ she replied.

He did not look entirely convinced.

‘What’s up?’ Kristen asked.

Data glanced ceilingwards. ‘Up?’

Kristen laughed and touched his face so their eyes were connected again. ‘I was asking you what’s wrong,’ she clarified, ‘you looked a bit worried.’

Data nodded then. ‘Ah… I do confess I am concerned as to Q’s continued presence on the ship,’

‘He hasn’t done anything wrong though,’

‘He has in the past and on several occasions,’ he pointed out. Kristen rested her head on his arm and watched him for a while. Data looked back at her and frowned a little as he tried to work something out. His eyes moved as though they were reading invisible text and then he appeared to gain some perspective. ‘You are putting trust in him,’ he surmised, tilting his head, ‘you are reserving judgment. Why?’

Kristen smiled a little. ‘Because everyone deserves a second chance. He’s trying to prove a point at the moment, as far as I can tell, and I’m not about to set him up for failure,’

‘I am concerned,’ he said, ‘if you trust him, he will betray that trust,’

‘How do you know that?’ She straightened then, pulling her legs from his lap so she could sit up properly. ‘Seriously, Data. How do you _know_ he will repeat old mistakes?’

‘With respect, I do have some experience with him that you do not. I have never known him to be kind-hearted or to interact with the crew in a way that does not have negative repercussions. He is an extremely dangerous and unpredictable being,’ Data said.

Kristen took that in, nodding. ‘But has he ever killed or physically injured anyone?’ she asked.

Data’s amber eyes filled with contemplation. ‘No, he has not,’ he said, ‘but… some of his actions have resulted in death. For example, one of our earliest experiences of his power led him to transporting the _Enterprise_ to an area of undiscovered space. There, we encountered The Borg for the first time. They used a cutting beam to slice into the saucer section of the ship and eighteen people died. Had Q not put us in that situation, those crewmembers would never have been lost.’

Having read about all of that, Kristen did agree that it was very unfortunate. ‘And how long ago was this?’ she asked.

Data frowned. ‘I do not believe that the passage of time makes any difference to the huge loss of life, Kristen,’ he pointed out.

‘No, you’re right. I’m not trying to imply that. The passage of time can’t change facts but it can change people,’ she countered.

‘I do not believe that Q has the motivation to better himself as a person,’

‘And that’s okay. You can have that opinion. My opinion is that he’s behaving himself so far and until he acts out of line, I’m going to be polite and accommodating to him. I can’t be rude or distant to a person just because other people don’t like him. I don’t even know Q.’

They shared a long look, one that was deeply serious. ‘I am aware that at times when two people are debating a matter, they are required to ‘agree to disagree’ otherwise completion of the debate cannot be reached,’ Data said, eventually.

Kristen smiled at that. ‘Yes, I think you might be right,’ she said.

‘However,’ he added, taking her hand, ‘as your partner and as someone who loves you and cares for your safety, I have to ask you to execute extreme caution whenever you are around Q. Please be careful, Kristen.’

She laced her fingers through his. ‘It’s going to be fine,’ she soothed, ‘I promise you. I’m no Empath but I don’t get a particularly bad vibe from him all the same. Let’s just see how this goes.’

Data didn’t reply to that last and she knew it was because he didn’t want for them to get stuck in this conversation for even a minute longer. Neither did she, truth be told. Kristen gave him a warm smile and when he’d noted the softness of her gaze, he returned that smile. ‘Where do you want to eat dinner?’ he asked, ‘here or at TenForward?’

‘Oh, here will be fine. I’m going to take a bath first though. I can still smell the clay from this morning,’ she replied. She let go of his hand and stood up. ‘What are you going to do?’

‘If you do not mind, I will resume my violin practise,’ he replied, standing with her.

‘Great.’ Kristen moved to give him a quick kiss and then she crossed the room and watched him from the bathroom doorway. ‘I love you, Data.’

He nodded slightly, with a note of unusual seriousness in his eyes. ‘I love you too, Kristen,’ he said.


	7. Complications

Another long day on Jethurn came to an end and when Picard beamed back to the _Enterprise_ he was forced to admit to himself that he was feeling rather under the weather. 

It wasn’t frustration with Q or general fatigue following more manual labour, instead he had a sore throat and his eyes were stinging. He had first noticed those symptoms during the late part of the afternoon but he had paid such things no mind, putting it down to the fact that it was perhaps dust from the excavation site that was getting to him. But now he was back on his ship and heading to his quarters, he knew that he was most definitely getting sick. He felt dizzy and nauseous too.

Once home, he took a sonic shower and then he got into casual clothes and fetched himself a cup of Earl Grey tea. Sitting with it in his lounge area, he did his best to read some more of a book he’d been enjoying but he found he couldn’t concentrate. The tea was a relief to his throat, but the stinging in his eyes was getting far worse. He sighed, turning a page, but when he stared at the words he found they had turned into smudges and he just could not take them in. 

Annoyed, he put the book down and stared into his tea. Being sick was _not_ something he had the time for and nor was a period of recuperation. Still, he knew he needed to act on his symptoms before they worsened even moreso.

He asked the computer to link him in with sickbay. ‘Doctor, do you have a moment?’

There was a pause and then; ‘Crusher here, Captain,’

‘Could you visit my quarters at your convenience?’ he asked.

‘Sure. Is everything alright? You sound hoarse…’

‘We will determine that when you arrive. Picard out.’

She made it to his quarters about forty-five minutes later and he was badly relieved to see her strawberry blonde hair and beautiful face by then. She looked like an angel of mercy as she came in with her portable medical kit and wearing her usual blue doctor’s coat. Coming over to the sofa, she sat by his side and instantly put a hand to his forehead.

‘You’re burning up,’ she said.

‘Yes,’ he croaked, ‘I know.’

She scanned him then and was confused to see little information on the read-out. ‘Hmm. Whatever it is you’ve contracted, it’s new on me. We should get you to sickbay so I can make use of the equipment there. Do you think you can walk or shall I organise a site-to-site transport?’

Picard shook his head. ‘I am not going to sickbay, Beverly,’ he told her, ‘whatever this is, it will be dealt with within the privacy of my personal rooms.’

She gave him a pointed look. ‘Oh, don’t be so stubborn. You need to be somewhere I can take care of you and monitor this virus.’

Ignoring that, he squinted at her. ‘It’s a virus then?’

‘That’s about all I can tell so far. I just hope it’s not contagious. Now, please let me get you to sickbay, will you?’

Picard scowled at her. ‘No, absolutely not. I am staying right where I am most comfortable,’

‘So I have to order you then. That’s a shame. Captain, I _order_ you to re-locate to sickbay and if you do not comply I will-’

‘You can be extremely annoying sometimes, Beverly,’

‘Thanks. I love you too.’

The scowl on his face lessened then and he sighed at her. ‘I feel absolutely dreadful,’ he admitted, ‘in fact, I cannot remember the last time I felt as ill as this. The fever is bad enough but my eyes and throat feel so inflamed it’s almost unbearable. Do you think you can figure this out?’

‘I certainly hope so,’ she replied, rubbing his arm in a kindly manner, ‘I think it’s obvious that you’ve contracted it during the away mission. I have had plenty of comings and goings from sickbay but nobody else has your symptoms. I doubt you’re going to be able to return to Jethurn.’

He’d figured that much out already. ‘That is a huge shame. We had only just started to examine the medical implements uncovered down there,’

‘The ancient medical unit,’ she said, rhetorically, ‘yes, that makes sense too. Let’s get you to sickbay now so I can try some anti-bacterial remedies on you and run more tests. When we’re done and you’re resting, I’ll contact the Jethurnians to see if they too have any symptoms.’

Picard nodded to her.

‘Do you think you can walk?’ she asked.

He wasn’t sure but was determined to try. She helped him up and though he felt weak and unsteady, he managed to make it out of his rooms and into the corridor. The brightness of the lights out there were enough to make him scrunch his eyes shut, trying to block it out. Crusher kept a hold on his arm, supporting him as best as she could, and together they got to a turbolift and then travelled deep within the saucer section until they reached sickbay. 

Noticing that he was there, a few of Crusher’s nursing staff rushed over to help. ‘What’s happened, Doctor?’ Ogowa asked, looking alarmed.

Picard almost cut in to speak, despite not being the person who was being addressed, but he was too ill to muster the energy. He heard Crusher talking to her nurses and then he was moved through to a private sickroom and helped onto a medi-bed. The talking continued and it rattled his mood even moreso. Bizarrely, even his ears were hurting now. The pounding in his head was immense, as though all the blood in his body was in one place.

‘Do you think is serious?’ That was Ogowa again.

‘Well, it’s hardly a head cold, Alyssa,’ Crusher replied.

‘Must you talk about me as though I’m not here,’ Picard rasped. 

It was the last thing he said before he blacked out.

*

Elsewhere on the ship, there were other problems. 

A major glitch in the replication systems had been reported and though Commander LaForge had set to work on it immediately, he was having trouble figuring out. Despite the fact that Data was serving as Acting-Captain for the time being, he’d come to Engineering to lend a hand but he too was confused. They had been working on it for several hours and the more they tried to locate the specifics of the bug, it seemed to adapt and further complicate itself with every minute that passed.

‘This is driving me crazy,’ LaForge murmured. He was hunched over a console. ‘Like I haven’t got better things to do today. I have equipment upgrades piling up, sensor repairs and a re-organisation of control chips that one of my juniors messed up, not to mention my usual duties and reports. I really have not got the time for a glitch that I can’t wrap my head around.’

Data nodded. ‘Agreed. I too have other commitments, but we must fix the problem. The replication system is responsible for feeding every person on this ship. Until they are working again, the only sustenance available on board are whatever non-replicated rations Guinan might be storing in TenForward and a small amount of fresh produce grown in the hydroponics section of the Arboretum. Neither will suffice in feeding more than a handful of people. It is essential that we remedy this problem as efficiently as we can because-’

‘I know, Data, _I know,_ ’ LaForge snapped.

Data closed his mouth.

LaForge straightened then and looked to his best friend. ‘Sorry. You didn’t deserve that,’ he said.

‘Forgiven,’ Data replied, ‘I understand your frustration and share it.’

The comm link chirruped then. ‘Geordi, are you there? This is Guinan again.’

LaForge sighed, rolled his eyes and then tapped his badge. ‘I’m here, Guinan. But before you ask me for the third time if I’ve sorted the problem yet, I can tell you right now that I haven’t. The moment there is any progress, you’ll be the first to know, alright?’

‘I have a lot of confused and hungry people up here. They’re starting to worry and so am I,’ she said.

‘Yeah, but what can I do? I’m shirking every other duty I have to fix this. The more you distract me, the more time it’s going to take for me to figure it out,’

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’

LaForge and Data shared a look. ‘No, of course not. Just let me work,’ LaForge replied.

‘Alright. Keep me posted. Guinan out.’

LaForge swore under his breath. 

At that moment, Q exited a turbolift and strode into Engineering in his usual cocksure manner. He took a look about himself and then when he saw that two of his ‘old friends’ were there, he smiled and headed straight for them.

LaForge swore under his breath once again.

‘The ship is abuzz today,’ Q said, looking highly amused, ‘it seems that the Captain is sick and that the replicators aren’t working,’

‘We are already aware of those issues, Q,’ Data supplied.

‘Yeah and do you have to sound so damned happy about it?’ LaForge snapped, ‘given that you’re supposed to have ‘changed’ it still seems to me that you take pleasure in us having any sort of difficulty. In fact, it seems to me that you relish the times we run into problematic issues.’

Q shrugged. ‘Just because I’m in a pleasant mood today, it doesn’t mean I don’t care,’ he said.

‘Whatever. If you’re hanging about down here then don’t get in our way,’ LaForge replied.

Q snapped his fingers and his Captain’s uniform was suddenly transformed into a repair crew jumpsuit. He looked down at himself. ‘This mustard colour is quite ugly but it will have to do, I suppose. I am trying to fit in, after all.’ He looked to LaForge and Data again. ‘What can I do to assist you both? Give me some orders.’

Data stared at him, confused for a moment. ‘I recommend you leave us to work, Q,’ he advised, ‘we do not have time to entertain you today.’

Undeterred, Q stepped closer and took a long look at Data’s face. ‘Something’s different about you,’ he said, ‘and I can’t quite place what it is. I know you’ve been promoted and even that you’re Acting Captain right now, but that’s not it.’ He took a slow, circling walk around Data and then he faced him again and crossed his arms over his chest.

There was a subtle ripple of irritation in Data’s eyes then. LaForge saw it and so did Q.

‘Aha!’ Q cried, smiling again, ‘you’ve somehow managed to achieve emotional capability! The last time I was here, you were a blank tableau. Now, look at you. Is this some evolution in your programming? How has this occurred?’

‘Again, Q, we do not have time for such discussions right now,’ Data said, getting more annoyed.

‘Perhaps I should simply cease the flow of time,’ Q suggested, ‘then we could talk freely.’

He motioned to snap his fingers, to perform exactly what he’d just said, but LaForge held up a hand to stop him. ‘Data’s creator made an emotion chip for him years ago. It was lost for a time but when we recovered it, it was fitted into Data’s neural net and since then he’s become accustomed to feeling a wide range of human emotions. That’s the whole story. Now, will you go somewhere else and leave us to work?’

Q dropped his hand and shrugged again. ‘I’ll let you work but I’m not going anywhere. It would be prudent for you to remember that you can’t force me to go anywhere I don’t want to go.’

The comm link opened again. ‘Geordi?’ Guinan said.

Commander LaForge felt like bashing himself against a bulkhead until he was unconscious and therefore free of these maddening distractions. He thumped his badge this time instead of tapping it. ‘Guinan… I told you that when there’s some progress, I’ll let you know! Why aren’t you listening to me?!’

‘Because people up here in TenForward are starting to panic and it occurred to me that if you could perhaps do some work on the replicators up here, they could see for themselves that you’re trying to solve the problem,’ she replied.

Data tilted his head. ‘Guinan, it would be best that we remain in Engineering. Here, we have a better chance at-’

‘Data, please do as I ask? As a favour to me?’ she cut in. It was incredibly rare that anything ruffled the El-Aurian barkeep but her voice was tense right now and obviously so.

‘Alright. We will head to TenForward right now,’ Data replied, ‘please hold your station,’

‘Thank you. Guinan out.’

LaForge released a long-suffering sigh and then he and Data headed straight for the turbolift. Before the doors closed, sealing them in there, Q made a dash over and joined them.

‘What are you doing?’ LaForge asked him, ‘you know that Guinan has zero tolerance for you!’

‘I don’t particularly wish to see her either,’ Q shot back, ‘but I’m interested in the social tension in the bar because of these replicator problems and I want to observe how you both handle it.’

LaForge shook his head, exasperated. ‘Fine, fine, whatever. But please don’t piss her off, okay? We’ve got enough trouble on our hands right now without you twisting the knife.’

Q smirked.

‘Deck Ten,’ Data told the turbolift.

TenForward was indeed filled with a great deal of annoyed and frightened people. The replicators had been down for so long at that point that meals and drinks had been missed and so coupled with hunger and thirst, there was also impatience and uncertainty. The room was filled with worried conversation and the waiting staff there were run off their feet – not by fulfilling orders but by trying to get everyone to calm down and understand that the problem was being worked on.

Guinan stepped out from behind the bar as soon as she saw LaForge and Data come in, but when she saw who was with them, her face tightened in a masque of contempt. ‘Look what the cat dragged in,’ she sneered.

Q sneered right back at her. ‘So you _are_ still here then. I heard you were. Some dark stains are obviously quite impossible to remove,’

‘I have a home here, unlike you.’ Her eyes flashed. ‘I should have known there was a reason behind the bug in our systems. What are you getting out of this? Starving the crew of this ship is akin to torture, you know. I knew you were capable of evil but this trick is low, even for you.’

Data stood between them. ‘Please,’ he said, ‘there is enough strain on the current situation at hand as it is. Do not worsen the atmosphere in the room by giving in to old resentments.’

Guinan looked to Data. ‘I don’t want him in here,’ she said.

‘I understand. But I cannot enforce him to do anything he does not want to. Let Q observe as he wishes to and meanwhile, Commander LaForge and I will endeavour to correct the glitch,’ he replied.

Incensed and blatantly uncomfortable, Guinan glared at Q and then she returned to her place behind the bar. LaForge made eye contact with Data and then the two of them followed her so they could access the replicators.

As they continued to work, within a maelstrom of loud, worried voices from the crew and tension that one could cut with a knife, Q took it upon himself to take a tour of the room so he could speak to people and gauge their moods. LaForge was concentrating hard on the task in hand but every now and then he did turn to see what Q was doing. Remarkably, he wasn’t starting or stirring any trouble. If anything, it appeared that he was trying to calm people down.

‘This issue is an enigma,’ Data commented, his hand flying over the replicator controls, ‘according to the display, there is not one single food or beverage item programmed into the system. Everything has been erased and when I try to re-program the selections, they are instantly wiped out,’

‘Yeah, tell me about it,’ LaForge replied, ‘memory files are being dumped so fast I can’t keep up. I can try a master re-set but it could take hours to boot the system and even then, there’s no way to know if the bug will be wiped or if it will start over from the top and delete everything all over again. I guess I can kiss goodbye to getting any sleep tonight. This is going to take more than a double shift… and I can’t even replicate a damned coffee to keep myself awake.’

Data nodded. ‘This is a highly confusing eventuality.’

Guinan came over. ‘Doctor Crusher is going to have a nightmare on her hands if people start to get dehydrated. That’s the first problem. Malnourishment will take a little longer, but the thirstier people get, the more sick they’re going to feel,’ she put in.

Two hours later and there was still no progress. LaForge had a headache by then and it was worse than the ones his VISOR used to give him. He rubbed his temples with his fingers and then found he had to step away from the replicator systems for a while, needing to rest his eyes from the screen. As he turned, he came face-to-face with Q.

‘I’m getting sick of all this complaining,’ Q said, as he leaned over the bar with an annoyed expression, ‘I’ve been trying to calm these idiots down but they never shut up. How do you cope with this sort of thing?’

‘I wish you’d just go somewhere else,’ LaForge told him.

‘If wishes were horses, all beggars would ride,’ Q replied, with a grin.

Data turned around too. ‘Q, if you are growing impatient, it would perhaps benefit you to visit a different area of the ship. The Arboretum perhaps, or the holodeck?’

Q shook his head and then narrowed his eyes. ‘Or I could go to the ship’s school again. I made a friend there yesterday. Perhaps you’re familiar with her. Counselor Harper?’

Data was just about to retaliate when he seemed to catch himself and force himself to refuse the bait. LaForge wasn’t sure how Q had figured out that Harper and Data were involved with one another on a personal level, given that he’d only just found out about the emotion chip a few hours ago, but clearly his ‘surveillance’ had yielded more than perfunctory details about the crew.

‘Look,’ LaForge said, ‘you can do whatever you want but just leave us alone and moan to someone else, will you? People are going to start getting sick before long and we’re working our asses off here trying to fix the problem before it’s too late.’

Q raised his eyebrows and then he lifted a hand, clicking his fingers.

Pockets of light flashed around the room and in an instant, every single one of the 300+ patrons there were seated at a table and they had a meal and a drink set in front of them. LaForge stared at the sight and then he and Data instantly went to the replicators. The glitch was gone and everything had been rectified.

Perplexed, Data tilted his head. ‘An instant resolution,’ he said.

_Thank you, Captain Obvious,_ LaForge thought to himself.

‘You’re wel-come,’ Q called to them, in a sing-song voice.

Both officers turned back to him again. ‘Why did you do that?’ LaForge asked.

‘Because these days I’m seasoned and benevolent as I keep trying to tell you all,’ Q replied, ‘and now I am going to take a walk to clear my head. All of this moaning and complaining has been quite irritating and I need some space.’

LaForge watched as Q wandered across the room and then exited TenForward. Guinan touched his arm then and he looked down at her. ‘I still don’t trust him,’ she intoned, ‘not one single iota,’

‘Hmm,’ LaForge managed, not sure what to think.

* 

Data checked in with Lieutenant Harper later that night. She too would be working late due to an emergency appointment with a patient who had apparently suffered some type of heartbreak and needed immediate counsel and so when he had completed other duties and asked Worf to cover the bridge, he returned to Engineering. He wanted to see if LaForge was calmer now and had managed to get on top of everything he had needed to do. It was 22:00 hours and much of the other Engineering staff had returned to their quarters, now off-duty and free to recreate or go to bed.

LaForge was in his office and drinking coffee when Data found him. Looking up, Geordi smiled at him. ‘Hey, Data,’ he said, ‘did you need something?’

‘Not in relation to our duties.’ Data sat down at the other side of the desk. ‘Kristen is working late and as such, I am at something of a loose end. I had a violin performance with my fellow musicians scheduled for today but it has been postponed due to the events of earlier. I thought it might be a good idea to check in with you. How are you doing?’

‘I’m still baffled by the glitch and by Q,’ Geordi replied, ‘but there’s nothing I can do about either of those things and so I’m trying not to waste time figuring any of it out. I’m off-duty now and I’ll probably go back to my quarters soon to see Caroline,’

‘Has she moved into your quarters now?’

‘Yeah, she has,’

‘Do you enjoy living with her?’

Geordi smiled. ‘It’s the best. We’re moving pretty quickly with all of this but the closer we get, the happier I feel. I love having her around. I’ve never lived with a girlfriend before but it’s been a lot of fun so far. I feel like I’ve known her my whole life.’ 

Data nodded. He understood that sentiment all too well. 

‘Do you like living with Kris?’ Geordi asked.

‘It is most fulfilling thus far. Many subtle changes have been effectuated but all of them bring me pleasure. I enjoy her presence in my quarters very much. Living full-time with another person is an experience of sharing that I anticipated to be positive, but the reality of it is even moreso. I like that she is almost always within reach and that even when I am there alone and she is on-duty, I know that it is only a matter of time until she returns to me so we can be together,’ Data replied.

Geordi gave him a warm smile. ‘And I guess not having to take nightwatch constantly now is pretty neat too?’

Data nodded. ‘I much prefer being with Kristen to manning the bridge,’

‘I’d be worried if you didn’t.’

Geordi got up and when he returned, he had another coffee for himself and one for Data too. He accepted it with thanks and when his friend sat back down, they shared a companionable silence for a while. It was impossible for Data to be tired, but after such a long and complicated day, it was almost healing to have this bit of leisure time with his best friend.

‘I noticed that Q got your back up when he mentioned Kris,’ Geordi said eventually, breaking that calm silence.

Data sighed. ‘I do not wish for them to spend time together,’ he agreed, ‘he is dangerous, despite his recent efforts to prove otherwise, and Kristen is far too trusting. She is reserving judgment as to his character and has decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.’

Geordi made a face. ‘You’d think after what happened to her with Soshi she would have learned a thing or two about not taking people at face value.’

That much made a lot of sense and it was something Data had been thinking about a great deal. He was deeply worried about Kristen extending trust to Q and Q in some way breaking that trust and hurting her in the process. They had shared no more than a handful of words, hardly a real conversation at all, and yet she wasn’t taking the bad things he’d done all that seriously. 

‘Sorry, I maybe shouldn’t have mentioned Soshi,’ Geordi added. Soshi, Kristen’s ex-boyfriend, had proved himself to be a truly vile individual and his name was dirt on the _Enterprise_. ‘But Kris really should have learned by now that cocky, egotistical idiots like him and like Q can’t be saved or changed or helped. If someone is insidious on the surface, that much generally sinks to deeper layers. Or maybe I’m just being judgemental because I’m exhausted, I don’t know. All I _do_ know for sure is that she’s gonna get her fingers burned if she isn’t careful.’

Data was in complete agreement and it was a relief that his friend understood his cynical misgivings. ‘I have tried to reason with her. I told her about when Q brought us to that initial encounter with The Borg and even that was not enough for her to reconsider her decision to treat him with open-mindedness,’

‘I guess you’re going to have to let her figure this one out on her own,’ Geordi said.

‘I would rather she do as I ask and keep away from him but her mind is made up. In the meantime, I have decided to be there for her when he inevitably angers her or hurts her. I will not be complacent or patronising when she realises he is dangerous. I will be supportive,’ Data told him.

Geordi smiled at him. ‘Considering this is your first real love affair, you’re doing pretty damned well, aren’t you?’

Data returned that smile and then it faded a little. ‘I try my hardest to be loving, kind and protective,’ he replied.

‘You know how happy she is, right? Kris doesn’t walk around this ship, my friend, she floats.’

Tilting his head, Data considered that. He knew that Geordi was not being literal and so he understood those words to mean that Kristen was very content indeed. Sipping some coffee, he swallowed it down and then he let that realisation warm his heart. If Kristen was happy enough for others to notice and find it to be healthful and positive, then he was clearly on the right track. She told him every day how much she loved him and how safe he made her feel, but for Geordi to add to that observation and support that she was happy, well, it meant a lot. 

‘I worry about her, however,’ Data added, ‘and not just because of Q. I feel concern over her safety, even when she is not in any danger. I feel concern over what might happen in our future. On occasion, I am struck by thoughts as to how I would cope if I lost her, if she left me or if she fell out of love with me.’

Geordi put his cup down. ‘Yeah, you’ve got it bad, my friend.’

Data nodded. ‘That is an understatement,’

‘So when are you going to make an honest woman of her?’

Surprised, Data also put his cup down. Other than Kristen herself, there was only one other person in his life who could read him perfectly and Geordi had made an artform of that for years. Data had contemplated Kristen being his wife before, more than once, and during that day especially he had entertained the notion of planning a proposal of marriage. He turned a little in his seat to make sure they were still completely alone and then he turned to his friend again. 

‘How did you know I was considering that?’ he asked.

‘Because…’ Geordi smiled and then he frowned and then he smiled again. ‘Because since you two finally figured each other out and got your acts together, it’s been patently obvious that you were meant to be. I can’t even imagine you with anyone else. Who else would put up with you?’

Data recognised the teasing jibe for what it was and he laughed. ‘I would not want anyone else to put up with me,’ he replied.

‘Right. So when are you going to ask her to marry you?’

‘I am unsure. I want to put a great deal of thought and planning into the event so that it is absolutely perfect for her. I have been using my inner resources to research the specifics,’

‘Alright, but you should be using your heart more than your head, don’t forget that,’

‘Yes, Geordi. I am endeavouring to meld careful thought with romantic intention. I have also come to the conclusion that I want it to be one of the happiest moments of her life. I wish for it to be an eventuality that she will never forget and for all the right reasons.’

Geordi leaned back in his chair and grinned. ‘Great. That’s great. I hope I’m going to be asked to be your best man?’

‘You could be my only option,’ Data replied, with a half-smile, ‘you are my best friend,’

‘Right back at you. Obviously, you’re going to ask the Captain to perform the ceremony but who will give Kris away?’

Data’s smile faded then. The right person for the job should be her Father, but that much was as unlikely as it was that Q would become an ambassador for peace and goodwill on behalf of the Federation. He sighed and then his eyebrows furrowed. ‘The Father of the bride usually gives her away to the groom. That cannot happen… and nor can I ask his permission first, before I propose. Kristen’s Father… he does not approve of my existence, let alone my presence in her life.’

‘Yeah, I know,’ Geordi said, with a sympathetic look, ‘it’s raw luck. But it’s his loss, you know. Her Father should be happy for her but he’s obviously too selfish for that. Why don’t you ask her brother?’

Data nodded. ‘I was considering that. Do you think he will accept?’

Geordi shrugged. ‘I don’t know, Data. I’ve never met him. What do _you_ think?’

‘I… hope that he will approve my asking her to marry me and that if she accepts, he will give her away at the ceremony…’

‘I think you should ask him. There’s no time like the present either. What are you waiting for?’

Despite a flurry of nerves at the mere thought, Data knew his friend was right. He stood up and gave Geordi a smile. ‘I believe you are right. Thank you, Geordi. This has been a most illuminating exchange.’

Geordi grinned at him. ‘Good luck. Let me know what he says, alright?’

Data nodded. ‘I will speak with you tomorrow. Goodnight, Geordi.’

He made his way out of the office, out of Engineering and then he was heading back to his quarters. On his journey, he asked the computer to locate Kristen and when he was primly informed that she was still in her office, he knew he had some time. The nervousness built inside him but he pushed it down and focused instead on the conversation ahead of him. Once home, he changed into the casual clothes that Robert Harper was used to seeing him in and once he had fed Spot and spent some time with her, he went to his workstation and sat there, gathering his courage.

_If Robert does not give me consent to ask Kristen to marry me then no-one else can. Jason Harper is estranged from the family and though her Mother clearly still cares for her, they are not in contact either and the rift might never be repaired. This exchange is going to be fateful indeed. I must be honest and respectful. I must not give in to this nervousness._

As soon as Data felt he was ready, he turned on his comm screen and sent a message to Robert that he wished to speak with him and urgently so. Spot jumped up on his lap again as he waited and he ran pale fingers through her fur, finding that it calmed him almost as much as it appeased the cat. Five minutes passed and then ten. Then fifteen. 

Disappointed, Data wondered if Robert had already turned in for the night. In the Terran system and where the family lived on earth, it would be approximately 21:32 hours and given that Robert had a young daughter and a tiring job, it wasn’t unlikely that he might be asleep already.

However, his message was answered just a few moments later. Robert was in the room that Data recognised as the family sitting room and he was holding a glass of wine. ‘Oh, hello,’ he said, ‘is everything alright, Data? I saw the message was urgent and I was worried. Is my little sister okay? Are you?’

Data nodded. ‘We are both fine,’ he replied.

Robert raised his eyebrows. ‘Okay. So what’s up?’

‘I have a request that I wish to put to you,’ Data told him.

Robert took a mouthful of wine and then he started to smile. ‘I think I have an idea as to what this might be. Go on. Shoot from the hip, my friend.’

Data was puzzled. How could Robert have any idea as to his purpose? It was never a surprise when Geordi understood him and the same could be said for when Kristen did the same, but he was still getting to know Robert and so his words took him offguard.

‘It’s alright,’ Robert encouraged, ‘come on, talk to me,’

‘As I cannot ask your Father for permission to propose marriage to Kristen, I wanted to ask your permission instead,’ Data stated.

Robert smiled and it touched his dark eyes. ‘You two haven’t even had your first anniversary yet, have you?’ he asked.

Data inclined his head. ‘No, we have not,’

‘Are you sure this is what you want?’

‘I am completely certain. I have no doubt whatsoever that I want Kristen to be my wife. I love her very much and I have for a considerable amount of time. She is my fondest love. She is everything to me. I would give my life for her.’

Robert lifted his wineglass, as though saluting him in a toast. ‘And are you going to take care of her? Keep her as happy as she is now until the day she dies?’

Data nodded. ‘Yes. I give you my word,’ he replied.

‘Then ask her to marry you,’ Robert replied.

Happiness and relief ricocheted within Data’s internal processors and a sense of giddiness was added to those sweet emotions. ‘And if she accepts the proposal, would you consider giving her away at the ceremony?’ he asked.

‘Sure. I’d be honoured,’ Robert said.

‘Thank you. Your approval means a great deal to me,’ Data said, trying not to beam with exultation.

‘When you propose, make it special,’ Robert advised, ‘she didn’t have the happiest of upbringings and she’s had a rough time with other guys. Krissy has had her heart damaged more than once and I really want the best for her. I want her to be loved and protected. When you get down on one knee, make it memorable, alright? She doesn’t ask for much but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t deserve all the hearts and flowers in the world. Give her love, Data, alright? Give her all the love she should have always had.’

Sobered by those selfless words, Data nodded and took on a more serious expression. ‘I will ensure that the proposal is perfect for her and that I will always prioritise her happiness above all else,’

‘You adore her, don’t you?’ Robert asked.

‘I do. Kristen is vital to me.’

Robert nodded. ‘Alright, Data. I trust you. Make sure that you keep me informed, alright?’

Data smiled again. ‘I will. Thank you,’

‘Thank you also, future brother-in-law.’ Robert winked at him. 

At that, the message blinked out and the screen turned blank. The exchange could not have gone any better, Data felt. He was so uplifted by it that he had to remain where he was for a while. He felt almost dazed by the approval and acceptance he’d received. 

Spot sought his attention and so he started to stroke her again and as he did so, he zoned out as he started once again to research historical proposals of marriage, customs and traditions, engagement rings and the ways that different cultures and alien races went about these sorts of things. All of it was fascinating and exciting too.

_I am going to ask her to marry me. I am going to ask Kristen Harper to be my wife. If she says yes, then that is going to be the highlight of my existence so far. Trying to become more human is no longer relevant. The only important factor is her… being with her… being her husband. She loves me for who I am and in return, I love her for all she is. Kristen is everything. She is my reason for being._

Data was still lost in that bubble of elation when she walked through the doors. She wandered through to his work area and when she found him there, she leaned against the frame of the partition and gave him a tired smile. ‘Still working, love?’ she asked.

‘Negative. I was catching up on some correspondence,’ he said. He exhaled a contented sigh, put Spot down on the floor and then he stood and moved over to her at once. Putting his arms around her waist, Data turned her around and then he drew her close and embraced her. 

Kristen laughed with fondness and then she put her hands to his shoulders and leaned up to give him a kiss. ‘Dare I ask what’s got into you?’ she put to him.

‘Not as of yet,’ he replied.

‘You look…’ She pulled back and giggled. ‘Have you been on the holodeck with Geordi or something? You look like you’ve had the best day ever. I thought you’d been working on the replicator issue? What’s _with_ you tonight? You-’

Data lowered his arms so that she was lifted up and at that, he walked her back through to the lounge area. Kristen held onto him and when he sat her down on the sofa and then joined her, he gently pushed her backwards so that she was prone beneath him and then he covered her body with his and captured her mouth in a deep, sweet kiss. 

She melted into that kiss and stopped asking questions then. 

_I love you, Kristen… I did not know what love was until I met you. You taught me how to love and now those feelings will never cease. I will love you until you expire and when you do so, I shall do the same. I will program myself to die when you do, so that we will never be apart._

Arching her back beneath him, she ran her hands into his hair and then she held his face and gave him the most beautiful smile. 

Data smiled back at her.

_You are the centre of my existence, my purpose, my dearest and sweetest love._

_I love you, Kristen. I cannot wait to ask you to be my wife._

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Thanks for the birthday wishes and kind reviews guys! Keep that feedback coming ;)


	8. Infirmity

The next morning, Counselor Harper drifted into her office with a soft smile and a body that ached for all the right reasons. She went straight to the replicator and when she procured herself a sweetened coffee, she took it to her desk and then paused. There was a bouquet of roses waiting for her there and upon seeing them, her heart skipped a beat. Even though there was no note with those snow-coloured blooms, she knew exactly who they were from. 

_Pale like his skin, sweet like his heart…_

On cloud nine, she took a seat and plucked one of the roses from the vase so she could inhale the heavenly scent. ‘Oh, Data,’ she whispered to herself, her eyes heavy-lidded, ‘what are you doing to me? I’m already besotted with you as it is… must you be so utterly perfect? I feel like I’m dreaming…’

The spell was broken however, by a signal at her door. 

She wasn’t due to receive a patient for at least half an hour but early arrivals happened sometimes and so she put the rose back in the vase, moved it to the side of her comm screen and then straightened in her seat. The patient she was due to meet with had been battered by love over the past few days and so she didn’t want to be too obvious in her own happiness when greeting them. She wanted to be as sensitive and approachable as possible.

‘Come in,’ she said, her hands in her lap.

Q sauntered through the doors and fixed her with a smile.

Harper looked back at him. He wasn’t a patient. Why was he here? 

‘Good morning, Counselor,’ he said, helping himself to a seat without being asked to and putting his feet up on her desk. 

She allowed herself a brief look of confusion. ‘Um… hello, Q. It’s nice to see you again, but I’m afraid I only have time for a quick chat today. Ensign Burroughs will be here soon and-’

He snapped his fingers. Nothing changed and so she continued to watch him.

‘I have ceased time,’ Q told her, ‘the entire universe has been put to a standstill until I determine otherwise. So now we have as long as we need to get to know one another better.’

Harper asked the computer to give her the time. Q grinned at her and steepled his hands over his chest, apparently enjoying himself already. Harper ignored him for a moment or two as she drank some of her coffee and checked her comm screen for any updates, but when she once again asked the computer for the time and the exact same as before was delivered, she realised he was serious and put her cup down on the desk, her expression tinged with alarm.

‘I’ve been reviewing all of the senior bridge staff and other old acquaintances,’ Q told her, ‘Jean-Luc is still ravaged with some alien influenza in sickbay and as such he is irritable and hellbent on ignoring me. Doctor Crusher remains as insufferable and patronising as she has always been. Riker and Troi are absent of course, not that I won’t be checking in with them at my convenience. LaForge is testy and cynical, so nothing has changed there. Mister Data has his emotional capabilities now but is otherwise much the same as I remember. Worf is the dunderheaded, feral creature he was always destined to be and is too obstinate to entertain my sincere desire for intelligent discourse. Lieutenant N’Dya is little more than a dimwit, as far as I can tell. But what of you?’

Harper wasn’t sure what to say. She sat there and just looked at him.

‘Are you afraid of me?’ Q asked.

‘I don’t know. Should I be?’ she shot back.

His full lips spread in a teasing smile. ‘No. I keep telling everyone that I’m not here to meddle, but still I’m faced with such bitterness and distrust. One marked fault I have always pinpointed about humanity is your distinct inability to forgive and forget.’

Harper frowned a little and then she ran a hand through her hair, trying to keep herself calm with a self-comforting gesture. Q would surely read that body language and know it for what it was, but Harper was too confused to even try and put up any defences. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘as I don’t even know you, I don’t have anything to forgive or forget. I hope that any interactions we’re going to have won’t change that.’

Q laughed. ‘Enough about me, let’s talk about you,’ he invited.

‘What do you want to know?’

‘Every minute detail,’ he replied, ‘the darkest depths of your soul and the sweetest songs of your fragile, human heart.’

Harper laughed. ‘That’s a bit heavy. It’s only 08:00 hours. I can still taste toothpaste and can remember the dreams I had last night. Can’t we do this later when I’m fully awake?’

Q laughed again and moved his feet from her desk, straightening himself in his seat. ‘Oh, you’re a plucky one, aren’t you?’

‘Hardly.’ Harper shook her head. ‘My personnel report describes me as introverted and diffident,’

‘Trust Starfleet to take you at face value. Who are you? How did you manage to graduate from the Academy and then earn yourself a role on the bridge within one year?’

Harper was uncomfortable then. ‘That’s really not for me to say. I’m not entirely convinced I _should_ be a member of the bridge staff. I feel like I’m still in the process of earning my place,’

‘But Picard likes you,’ Q said, leaning his elbows on her desk, ‘and Troi recommended you for the promotion. She was satisfied that you should be the one to take her place,’

‘They have faith in me,’

‘Why?’ Q demanded.

Harper picked up her coffee again, not that she was trying to be dismissive but more because her throat had gone dry. When she had downed a few swallows, she set it down again and gave him an open look. ‘If I knew why, then I would probably feel as though my position has been well-earned. I think it is merely consequential that I’ve become the head Counselor so quickly. I’ve been extremely lucky, to be honest with you. That’s why I’m trying my hardest to earn the Captain’s trust and respect and why I want to do Troi proud.’

Q nodded, his eyes boring into her like phaser beams. ‘Tell me about your life,’ he invited.

Harper thought of Ensign Burroughs for a brief moment and then she reminded herself that Q had frozen time and that they had a literal eternity to navigate this confrontation. ‘I’m twenty-four years old and I’m from earth. I come from a family of artists and industrialists. My Father is a noted painter and my Mother is a homemaker. I am close to my older brother Robert and estranged from my other brother, Jason. I have a niece called Brinn and a sister-in-law called Katie. In my spare time, I enjoy reading and live music. I love coffee and chocolate and trying to help people in need.’

Q quirked his eyebrows. ‘Sounds like a fulfilling existence…’

Noting the lick of sarcasm in his tone, she shrugged. ‘I’m extremely happy, as it happens,’

‘You’re in a relationship with Commander Data, or so I’ve been told.’

She glanced to the white roses and then back to Q. ‘Yes, that’s true,’

‘The first of your kind to be involved romantically with an artificial being,’ he observed.

‘That’s wrong, actually. Data’s brother Lore was involved with someone long before we met,’

‘And how would you know that?’

‘I met her during an away mission and she told me.’

Q sat back in his chair again. ‘Alright. So perhaps you’re not as unique as I thought in that respect, but still… what is it like being attached to an android? What is it like being involved romantically with a being who is fake… false… unreal?’

Harper smiled then, unable to help herself. ‘I’ve never met anyone more real than Data. He’s my favourite person in the whole universe. We were close friends before our relationship developed and since then, he’s proven himself to be deep and true and loyal beyond what any mortal counterpart could hope to offer. He’s the love of my life,’ she said.

Q turned his chair and spread his long legs out in front of him, crossing them at the ankle. ‘Love is the real substance of the universe, don’t you think?’

Harper nodded. ‘It’s the only thing more powerful than death,’ she said. It was still far too early in the day for such philosophical exchanges, but she knew she had to hold her own.

‘Not that Data will ever know death,’ Q said, ‘he is, of course, practically indestructible and there has never been any limit posed as to how long he will exist. What will happen when you die?’

‘I have no idea,’ Harper replied, with total honesty, ‘and really, I don’t like to think of it. I prefer to live… and love… in the here and now.’

Q grinned. ‘Clever girl.’

Harper finished her coffee and then she got up and went over to the replicator. ‘I heard that you fixed the glitch in the replicator operations system yesterday,’ she said, in a conversational tone, ‘why did you do that?’

‘The saga was amusing for the most part but I grew weary of complaint,’ he replied, glancing to her from over his shoulder.

‘Would you like a drink?’ she asked.

‘I have literally no reason to require such a thing,’

‘That’s not what I asked. Would you like a drink?’

His lips tilted with amusement. ‘How polite of you to ask. You can fetch me the same as whatever you’re having,’ he said.

Harper ordered another coffee and then she brought their cups to her desk. ‘I read back on some of the missions the _Enterprise D_ employed and I saw that you were once denounced from the Q Continuum and forced to live as a human for a while. How was that for you?’

He shrugged a little and picked up his coffee. ‘Mostly confusing. Being mortal is hardly an experience I wish to relive any time soon, if I have any choice in the matter. Your beloved Commander Data was a consistent aid when I was in need, however. I repaid him in kind.’

Harper nodded. ‘Yes, I read about that. You made him laugh, didn’t you? Even when he was incapable of any human emotion?’

‘I did. He deserved that much; a short and yet heartfelt paroxysm of humour…’

‘It was nice of you to do that.’

Q drank some coffee and then winced at the taste. ‘It was the least I could do.’

Harper remembered what the Captain had said about trying to make Q talk and express himself. ‘If you’re able to repay a debt, then you must be capable of other types of charity,’ she invited.

‘Yes, I can concede to that much. Also, being a Father has broadened my horizons in that respect,’ Q replied.

‘Do you like being a Father?’

Q’s eyes snapped to hers. ‘It is the most vital learning curve I have experienced, even over countless and unmeassurable passages of time. My son is my heart, my soul, my life,’

‘Do omnipotent beings have hearts and souls?’

Q laughed. ‘Plucky,’ he said to himself, ‘and adroit.’

Harper sat down again. There followed a few beats of silence and though Harper knew she was being watched and judged too, she willed herself to relax.

‘Speaking of children,’ Q said, ‘why have you been spending so much time in the ship’s school?’

‘Because meeting my niece made me want to be with children in general. I’ve developed an interest in child psychology,’ Harper replied.

Antagonistic to the last, Q lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes. ‘Are you sure there’s no deeper reasoning to that? Clearly, you are a consummate professional, but… when you leave responsibility and self-education behind, what else are you thinking?’

_Metaphorical stab._

Harper frowned. ‘What?’

‘You and Data might be madly in love but you can never make a family. Data can never reproduce in the way a mortal could. He can never give you children.’

_Stab. Plunge. Twist._

‘He tried to make a child some time ago and so it’s obvious that he’s entertained notions of being a Father. The want is there, but not the ability,’ Q continued, in a nonchalant tone, ‘he made an android daughter but she suffered extreme cascade failure and she died, if that term can be applied in this instance. I kept an eye on that sorry business, but didn’t involve myself. It was quite depressing. I doubt that Data will ever try to revive Lal and even if he did, she still wouldn’t be your daughter. What will you do when your biological clock starts to tick, Counselor? Will your unconventional romance survive that much? Or will you desert Data and give your heart to someone else? Someone who can give you the children you desire and yet pretend you don’t?’

_STAB. LACERATE. GOUGE._

Harper stood up and put her hands on her desk. She glared at Q as pain erupted in her heart. ‘Why are you being so cruel?’ she demanded, ‘what are you getting out of this? What pleasure could you possibly derive from asking me these vicious questions?’

Q also stood up and faced her with an arrogant smile. ‘I could give you what you want, if you asked me politely,’ he countered, ‘I could ignite a life in your womb right now. A life comprised of your DNA and the DNA of Data’s Father and his ancestors. That child could be born nine months from now and could put into place the missing piece from your heart. I could give you everything,’

‘I have everything already,’ Harper spat, her eyes burning with unshed tears, ‘I don’t need anything from you.’

Q sneered at her. ‘Do you really have everything?’

Harper lifted her hand and pointed at him. ‘I’ve been kind to you. I’ve even defended you. Why are you being so vicious?’

Q sank back into his seat again. ‘It’s not viciousness. It’s kindness. Benevolence. Altruistic selflessness. When I was exiled from the Continuum and pushed way beyond my comfort zone, Data was there for me. I wish to repay that debt,’

‘You repaid it at the time,’ Harper snapped.

Q shrugged. ‘Still. I feel compelled to offer more. I could give you a child, Kristen. I could give both you and Commander Data the child you both secretly desire.’

Harper sat down too. Her legs were shaking and her body was filled with adrenaline. ‘The only thing I care about is being with him. When I chose to be with him, I took on board all that he is. I didn’t put it to him, because I didn’t want to hurt him or go over old ground, but I accepted that he couldn’t give me children and I won’t change that. Not even with your help, Q. I love Data for who he is. He’s an android and he can’t reproduce, not ever. I still love him with all of my heart. He’s everything to me. I’d die for him. He’s my soul mate.’

Q crooked his head and gave her a genuine smile then. ‘I believe you.’

Harper took a deep breath. ‘I really don’t care,’ she snapped.

‘And why should you?’

Q stood up and pushed his seat under her desk. Harper watched, torn apart inside, as he took a slow tour of her office. The silence between them was beyond tense. When he was satisfied with his tour, he snapped his fingers again and she knew without asking that he had set time in motion again.

‘Can you go now? I have work to do,’ she said.

He moved over to her so quickly that panic joined the adrenaline flooding her system. He grabbed her arms and forced her to feet her again. Then he grabbed her head and tilted it back, his sharp eyes boring into her. ‘I like you,’ he said, the timbre of his voice quite tense, ‘you have spirit.’

And then he let her go, turned and marched out of the room.

Harper was so shaken, she panted as she reached for her comm badge. ‘Harper to Data.’

A long pause and then a chirrup. ‘Data here,’

‘Where are you?’

‘I am in sickbay. Are you alright?’

Forcing herself to calm down, she took a deep breath. ‘Yes… I think so, at least. I just had a meeting with Q…’

‘Do you need me to come to you? What has occurred?’

‘Nothing… I just needed to hear your voice.’

She sank into her seat again. ‘You sound upset. What did Q say?’ Data asked.

Harper didn’t want him to know. ‘It’s nothing, honestly. I’m fine,’

‘Are you certain?’

‘Yes. I have a patient arriving quite soon so I need to go. I love you, okay?’

‘I love you too.’

‘Good. Thank you, Data. Harper out.’

She rested her elbows on the edge of her desk and then she sank her face into her hands and took more deep breaths. Q hadn’t hurt her physically, but he had probed into regions of her heart and soul she had thought too deeply buried for anyone to reach. 

*

Captain Picard was still horrifically ill. Though he was craving the quiet isolation of his personal quarters, Doctor Crusher still insisted on him staying in his medi-bed so she could continue to run tests and try to figure out a cure. The Jethurnians had been contacted and as they hadn’t reported any degree of sickness, she remained clueless and yet determined. Worse still, the symptoms of the illness had started to spread. Though Picard was twisted in fever and nausea, he had picked up that much from conversations he’d overheard. 

Two nurses had taken sick-leave and other visitors to sickbay had contracted sore throats and were feeling unable to report for duty. Crusher herself had a light fever, but she was ignoring that much as she worked herself to the bone trying to fathom a remedy. She observed her rest periods by his side, mopping his brow or feeding him soup. 

‘Beverly,’ he told her, enclosing his hand about her wrist, ‘you need to contact Starfleet command and ask for assistance,’

‘We don’t need any help right now,’ she insisted, tilting a spoon to his lips again.

Picard swallowed the soup, trying to ignore the hot ache it resulted in as his throat throbbed. ‘I don’t concur,’ he rasped.

‘What else is new?’

He smiled and then he coughed, turning over so he could regurgitate the soup. Crusher moved quickly, lifting a bowl so that he wouldn’t vomit on the floor. 

‘If this is viral…’ he said, wiping his mouth as he lay on his back again, ‘…then surely it has to end soon? These ailments are always short-lived…’

‘When your fever breaks, we’ll know for sure,’ she replied.

Nurse Ogowa stumbled into the room then. ‘Beverly?’ she said.

Crusher turned and looked to her. ‘Are you alright?’

‘No… I feel so dizzy…’

Crusher jumped up so she could take hold of Ogowa, holding her up in her arms. ‘Go back to your quarters, Alyssa,’ she advised, ‘I can always call in more cover.’

Ogowa swayed and took a deep, steadying breath. ‘But what about you?’

Crusher smiled. ‘I’m a trouper, you know that.’

Ogowa shuddered and then she turned and left the room. Crusher watched her go and then she sat down again. Picard looked up at her. ‘She asked a good question. What about you, Beverly?’

‘I’m fine,’ she argued, as she wiped her brow of perspiration, ‘what’s more important is getting you back on your feet, Captain.’

Picard winced as sickness roiled inside him again. ‘I’m falling down and taking you with me…’ he sighed.

‘Shush,’ she soothed.

He closed his eyes and then smiled a little as he felt her hand covering his. Their fingers interlocked and her warmth, way beyond her bedside manner, sank into him.

‘Why don’t you try to sleep?’ she whispered.

Nodding, he drifted off again into blackness.

*

When Worf arrived on the bridge to relieve Data of duty, he headed directly to Harper’s office. He was still worried about how she’d sounded when they’d spoken about her visit from Q and though he knew there was a chance she might be working, he still needed to see for himself if she was okay. When at his destination, he signalled his arrival and then entered when he was invited to. Harper was sitting with Lieutenant N’Dya.

‘I apologise for the interruption,’ Data said.

‘That’s alright, we’re finished for today,’ Harper replied, with a smile.

N’Dya stood up and straightened out his uniform. ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘has there been any update on the Captain?’

Data nodded. ‘Yes, but unfortunately the situation has not changed. The virus seems to be spreading,’

‘Yeah. I must admit that my throat feels pretty sore right now,’ N’Dya replied.

‘Same here,’ Harper added.

‘Perhaps you should both head to sickbay,’ Data suggested, with a note of concern.

N’Dya sighed. ‘I’m going to head down there right now.’ He looked to Kristen. ‘Thanks for our session today, Kris. I’ll see you later.’

Harper smiled. ‘No problem, Ben. See you soon.’ He left the room then.

Harper stood up and moved over to Data, lifting her arms so she could circle them around his neck. Leaning up a little, she gave him a soft kiss. Data returned that kiss and then held her in return. ‘If you are starting to get sick, you should go and speak with Doctor Crusher immediately,’ he told her.

‘I can’t, I’m afraid. I have another patient due in about ten minutes,’ she replied.

‘Neglecting your health will prove to be detrimental,’ he warned.

She smiled at him. ‘Hmm. Thank you for the roses, by the way. They’re beautiful,’

‘You are welcome. I am glad you like them. But… please do not change the subject, Kristen. I am concerned about you. Is your throat very painful?’

‘Kind of, yeah. My eyes feel sore too. I think I’m definitely coming down with that virus,’ she replied.

Data held a little closer. He hated how fragile humans could be and not because he was drawing comparisons to himself. He just hated how easy it was for them to fall ill or be injured. It frightened him that Kristen could be fine one moment and then sick the next. ‘Please cancel your appointment and go to sickbay,’ he insisted.

She stroked the hair at the back of his head and then she gave him a playful smile. ‘Nope. I have stuff to do. They don’t have a cure down there anyway. I might as well crack on with my duties whilst I still can,’ she said.

Realising she wasn’t to be persuaded, he sighed. ‘What happened with Q?’ he asked.

Her dark eyes turned a note darker then. ‘Well… he came in here and we talked for a while. He was a bit of a pest, to be honest. I tried to be nice to him but he had a go at messing with my head,’

‘What did he say to you?’ Data asked, frowning.

‘He was trying to wind me up about our relationship. He seemed to want to prod me about the fact you’re an android, as though I have some problem with that and he wanted to expose a raw spot. He…’ She frowned too then and dropped her gaze. ‘He was talking about the fact we can never have children of our own.’

Data felt a deep pang of hurt at that, but he didn’t show it. Instead, he held her to his chest for a long moment and she sighed as he did so, closing her eyes briefly. ‘I am sorry for that much,’ he told her, ‘I can and may attempt to fix Lal at some point but even so, she will not be your daughter. Q is right that I cannot give you children in the way a mortal being could. I wish it was not so, but I can never start a true family with you, Kristen. It is an extremely painful truth but unfortunately it is one we must face. I regret that I cannot give you a child… and I…’

She pulled back a little and looked up into his eyes. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ she told him, conviction in her tone, ‘lots of couples don’t have kids and it’s not always because they can’t. Sometimes it’s just not right for them. That’s how I’m going to see it. But… if you do ever fix Lal and her positronic matrix proves to be stable long-term, I will most definitely see her as my daughter. I would love her unconditionally, just as I love you unconditionally.’

_Marry me, Kristen… don’t ever leave my side…_

He held her face and dropped a kiss to her forehead and then another to her nose. ‘I am sorry that Q hurt you today. I knew that it would happen but I did not think it would be so soon,’ he said.

‘He didn’t point out anything I don’t already know,’ she replied, ‘he was a dolt but that’s his way. I’m not going to hold it against him. Sometimes people need support when they deserve it the least.’

_You do not have a human heart, Kristen. You have a heart of gold._

Data kissed her, holding her face to his and she melted into that. They were still kissing some five minutes later when there was a signal at her door. Kristen pulled back and smiled at him. ‘Do you still have your violin concert tonight?’

‘Affirmative,’

‘I’ll be home later and then we’ll go together, okay?’ 

Letting go of her and moving to the door, Data nodded. ‘Yes. Farewell until then,’

‘Bye, sweetie.’

Data left, nodding to Lieutenant T’Bau as he did so, and then he headed straight to his quarters. Part of him wanted to go and find Q so he could threaten him never to speak to Kristen ever again, but he knew she’d disapprove of that and so he went to his workstation instead. He worked for an hour whilst also giving Spot some gentle affection and then he realised he still couldn’t stop thinking about the matter. Q was a negative presence indeed. 

Needing something positive to concentrate on, he turned his thoughts back to the marriage proposal he was planning and did some further research on that instead. An incoming message alerted him, just as he was working out an appropriate holodeck program within which to ask Kristen to be his wife, and he looked to his comm screen. 

‘Accept message,’ he said.

His Mother, or at least the android facsimile of his Mother, smiled at him and he smiled back. ‘Hello, Data,’ she said, ‘we haven’t spoken for a long time and I thought I should get in touch to see how you are,’

‘I am functioning adequately,’ he replied, surprised and yet pleased to hear from her, ‘how are you, Mother?’

‘I’m just fine. It looks as though you’ve been promoted. Your rank pips have changed,’

‘Yes. I am the First Officer of this vessel now,’

‘Well, congratulations! I’m so proud of you! Your Father would have been proud too. What wonderful news.’

He saw the love in her eyes and it touched his heart. She was such a very kind and lovely woman. ‘Thank you,’ he said.

‘So what else has changed?’ she asked.

Data smiled. His Mother had always been encouraging about him finding love someday, even before the emotion chip, and so he knew she was going to be very approving about the news he had to give her. ‘Much has changed,’ he said, ‘and I have news for you that I think you will appreciate. I have fallen in love and-’

She clapped her hands together. ‘Oh, Data! Finally! Oh, I’m so pleased! Who is she?’

‘Her name is Kristen Harper. We have been together for some time. I did not mention her in earlier missives because I have been quite distracted by the missions we have been on. I was also on shore leave for a time,’

‘I don’t mind that you took your time in telling me,’ she said, her eyes dancing with happiness, ‘I’m just content to know that you’ve found someone special,’

‘I am grateful for that also. Additionally, you should know that I have decided to ask Kristen to marry me. I could not ask her Father’s permission to do so because he is estranged from her and so I asked her older brother instead. He has consented for me to proceed and so I am currently in the process of planning a perfect scenario. I intend to arrange a traditional proposal and…’ He trailed off and noticed that his Mother was crying. ‘Are you alright?’ he asked, ‘Mother?’

She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘You don’t know what this means to me,’ she told him, ‘oh, Data… this is all I have ever wanted for you.’

He gave her small smile. ‘You are crying with happiness?’

‘Yes, dear… and I’m quite sure that Kristen will do the same when she accepts your proposal,’

‘There is a chance she may not,’ he replied.

‘Of course she’ll accept,’ she insisted.

Data felt steadied by that much. They talked on for a long time and when she eventually had to go she told him she was going to send a gift his way. Data asked if it was an engagement present and she told him that it wasn’t. It was just something that she wanted him to have. She said goodnight to him then and the message was over. 

Data closed the comm screen and then he heard Kristen walk through the doors. Spot jumped off his lap as he stood and went through to her. She looked pale and her eyes were a little squinted. ‘Kristen? Are you alright?’ he asked

She reached for him and so he went to her, guiding her over to the sofa and helping her sit down. ‘I’ve felt better,’ she admitted, ‘but maybe I’m just tired. Today has felt never-ending at times.’

Data could feel how hot she was. She was trembling a little also. He lifted his hand to touch his comm badge and get in touch with sickbay, but she grabbed his wrist and stopped him. ‘You require medical assistance,’ he said, frowning.

‘There is nothing Beverly can do,’ she said, with a shake of her head, ‘and sickbay is filling up more and more so there’s no bed for me there. The best thing I can do is rest here,’

‘Are you sure that will suffice?’ Data asked.

‘Yes, but… oh wait, your violin concert!’ She tried to get up, her intentions clearly set on getting ready to leave their quarters again, but Data held her down with gentle and yet firm hands. ‘Data, I can’t miss it! I can’t miss your performance!’

He moved so that he could lift her legs up onto the sofa and then he eased her backwards until she was laid down. She tried to put up a fight again, but his actions were insistent. ‘I will cancel the performance,’ he told her, ‘and I will remain here to take care of you.’

Kristen shuddered with nausea and then she sighed and rested her head back, her eyes filled with sadness. ‘I really don’t want you to do that. If we go together right now, you’ll be on time for it. I’ll be fine just for that one hour, Data. Please don’t cancel the show…’

Data sat by her side and stroked the side of his face. ‘I will only postpone it. My fellow musicians may even appreciate the rearrangement, if they are also ill.’

She reached for his hand and when she had it, she lifted it to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. Data smiled a little at that. ‘Thank you,’ she said.

‘You are welcome. Now. What do you require? Would a blanket give you comfort or are you too hot? Would you appreciate something to drink or perhaps something light to eat?’ He tilted his head.

Kristen gave him a pained smile. ‘Just you,’ she said, ‘I just need you, love.’


	9. Unlikely Antidote

Following a very difficult night, Counselor Harper was forced to cancel her appointments for the day. She was so ill that every single part of her ached. She hadn’t managed to sleep, due to a combination of fever and endless vomiting and so she was exhausted too. 

The Jethurnian virus was far beyond any other type of illness Kristen had ever known and she was praying already that the trembles would go and she could stop sweating and retching. She had truly never wished for Data to see her in such a horrible state, but he’d been wonderful and even during the worst times of the wretched night she’d spent, he’d comforted her and assured her that she was going to be okay. 

Data did not want to leave her to go about his duties as Acting-Captain, and nor did she want him to go either, but they knew he had to and so he got out of bed and into uniform. ‘I will return here routinely throughout the day,’ he told her, concern in his eyes, ‘but I still feel that sickbay would be a better location for you at this time.’

Watching him straighten his jumpsuit top and then attach his communicator, Kristen sighed. ‘Not this again… Data, I’m fine here. This is the best place for me. I just need to stay in bed. I’m not exactly coughing up blood.’

Discomforted by those words, he turned and fixed her with a serious expression. 

‘Sorry,’ she said, her throat hoarse, ‘that was a bit dramatic, wasn’t it?’

‘Not exactly. I understand your point. It was the mental image that bothered me.’ Data came to sit by her side on the bed. ‘Can I get you anything before I leave?’

There was already a jug of cold water and a glass on a table within reach and Kristen also had a receptacle to vomit in, if the need arose. She couldn’t eat anything so it was pointless him bringing her food. ‘You could go and get Spot for me, if you don’t mind. I think I’d like her company today,’ she said, with a tired smile.

Data smiled back at her. ‘Of course.’ He went to fetch the cat and as Spot was already sleepy, she didn’t mind being cuddled into Kristen’s arms. She began to purr immediately and Kristen held her close. Data sat down again and watched them for a moment. ‘Do you think you will be able to sleep today? It concerns me that you did not rest at all throughout the night…’

‘I’m hoping to do nothing but sleep, if I have any choice,’ she replied.

‘When I return, I will not wake you,’

‘Thank you, love.’

Data leaned over to kiss her and then he gave Spot a goodbye stroke. ‘Please contact me if you need me for anything and I will do my best to come to you as quickly as I can,’ he said.

‘I think I’ll be okay. I just feel bad that I had to cancel on my patients,’

‘Your priority right now must be to rest and heal. I am going to head to sickbay as soon as I have checked in on the bridge and then I am going to aid Doctor Crusher as best I can,’

‘She’s sick too… this whole thing is such a mess…’

Data nodded in agreement and then he stood. He was clearly reluctant to leave, but Kristen knew he had no choice. He gave her a lingering look of concern when he got to the doorway and she gave him a warm look, trying to let him know she’d be alright. At that, he turned and left their quarters.

Kristen sighed and then she and Spot settled in together. The cat was asleep already. Listening to the soothing sound of her purring, Kristen closed her eyes. 

In no time at all, she too was asleep.

*

Doctor Crusher had no idea how she was still awake and upright, let alone how she was managing to care for a sickbay that was rammed with seriously ill people when all she wanted to do was collapse into bed. Though she’d given some of her nurses time off, they too were now back in sickbay as the entirety of the _Enterprise_ medical staff tried to both figure out the virus, work on a cure and take care of literally hundreds of sick people who were all desperate for help. 

The virus had spread like wildfire and every few minutes, someone else staggered through the doors, asking for help that she was still working out how to give. The best she could do to help them was to send them back to their quarters with a chaperone. 

As of 06:00 hours that morning, over 80% of the entire complement of the ship were either badly ill or reporting symptoms. The _Enterprise_ was being handled by a skeleton staff and Doctor Crusher was getting scared. She knew she couldn’t take the ship home because if she did, the virus would spread to those at Starfleet Medical. All she could do was ignore her own sickness and keep working until she passed out and her team had to take over.

There had been no change in Captain Picard. He had not worsened, but then Doctor Crusher was unsure that he could get any worse, unless he was to succumb to the virus entirely and pass away. His body was constantly purging itself and it was a sincere struggle trying to get him to even hold water down let alone anything solid. She was worried for him, not that she put that on him. She knew he hated fuss and so she tried to give him space as she cared for him. Picard was irritable but he was also grateful for the way she tended to him. Mostly, he was unconscious as his body tried to fight the virus.

She was racing between beds as she took temperatures and tried to keep everyone calm when Commander LaForge and Caroline O’Reilly came in. ‘Oh no,’ she said, moving over to them at once, ‘not you too… are you both sick?’

‘Yes,’ LaForge replied, swaying slightly where he stood, ‘and I don’t even know why we’re here, Beverly. I know there’s no room for us but I thought we should at least report that we’ve got the symptoms,’

‘Okay, Geordi.’ She reached to touch his forehead and then she did the same to O’Reilly. ‘Have you been vomiting? Are your eyes sore?’

‘We spent all night throwing up,’ O’Reilly said, her voice husky.

‘My eyes haven’t stung this much since I had my ocular implants fitted,’ LaForge added.

‘Alright. Well, as much as I’d like to take care of you both here, we’re officially out of beds. Your best bet is to arrange cover for your duties and then go back to bed in your quarters,’

‘What about you?’ LaForge asked, ‘no offence, Doc, but you look paler than Data.’

Doctor Crusher nodded. ‘I know. Don’t worry about me. Just head back to your quarters and do your best to sleep and drink lots of water, alright?’

‘Sure.’ LaForge nodded and patted her arm. ‘Let me know if you figure out a cure,’

‘When that happens, I’ll announce it over the comm system. Take care, both of you.’

They gave her weak smiles and then held onto one another as they turned and headed out of sickbay. As the doors opened, four more officers came in and headed straight for her. Doctor Crusher had to go through the same conversation from the top – apologising for the lack of beds and explaining that they needed to go back to where they’d come from and wait for an announcement. Not that she was anywhere near to isolating the specifics of the virus or figuring out how to treat it.

The whole thing was a damned nightmare.

When the doors opened yet again, she closed her eyes briefly as she willed herself to concentrate and keep working. Her head was pounding and she felt horribly nauseous. 

_What I wouldn’t give for the chance to lie down… just five minutes would be a welcome respite from this madness… I feel so dizzy and sick…_

Q strode over to her, looking irritable. ‘Doctor,’ he said, ‘I think it’s high time you cured this virus. Are you aware that people are vomiting in the corridors? I just saw someone curled up into a foetal position in a turbolift. This is a most annoying situation and I’m getting tired of it. You need to work harder.’

Doctor Crusher stared at him. ‘Just what do you think I’ve been trying to do?’ she snapped.

He shrugged. ‘I don’t know but I think it’s time you applied yourself. The whole ship is upside down and it’s your responsibility to make things right.’

Incensed, she walked away from him so she could join Nurse Ogowa in tending to a couple of Ensigns who were doubled over in pain. 

Q followed her. ‘Did you hear me?’ he demanded.

Crusher ignored him. One of the Ensigns was visibly scared and she was trying to get her to lie down again so she could cover her up with a blanket and then try to soothe her with a few quiet and supportive words.

Q tapped her shoulder, standing so close that she could feel him right behind her. ‘Doctor,’ he said, as confused as he was annoyed, ‘you should listen to what I’m saying. I need you to fix this problem. I have assessments to make here and all the while you’re not doing your job, you are creating a major inconvenience for me.’

At that she felt something snap inside her. She wheeled around and pushed him away from her with one hand. ‘Leave me alone,’ she snarled, ‘you being here is a major inconvenience for _me_. Get the hell out of sickbay right now!’

Affronted, Q frowned and then put his hands on his hips. ‘When will you people learn that ordering me to leave is utterly futile?’

‘When will you learn that you have no place here and you’re not welcome?! Every damned time you visit this ship, you cause problems. You’re a selfish, vile creature and I detest you,’

‘I have never visited this ship before,’ he shot back, in a conversational tone that was untouched by her irritated words, ‘I visited the previous _Enterprise_ you all served on, but this is my first time on the _Enterprise E_.’

Crusher almost growled with frustration. The Ensign she was trying to calm was pulling on the sleeve of her Doctor’s coat and the room was hot with fevered body heat. It was loud in there too, as people retched and whined. ‘I do not have time for this,’ she snapped, ‘please, just go and bother someone else, will you? Only a miracle can save these people now and I’m sinking fast to boot.’

Q lifted his chin then and looked around the room. She watched him do this, hoping he was going to turn on his heel and walk out of there, but instead he lifted his hand and clicked his fingers. A bright flash of light and suddenly sickbay was completely emptied of every single patient. The medical staff remained, but now every bed was empty and the room was silent. Crusher’s mouth fell open in shock. 

_What has he done?_

He cocked his head and as the silence panned out, he didn’t speak at all.

‘Doctor Crusher,’ Nurse Smythe said, coming over, ‘I don’t feel sick anymore,’

‘Same here,’ Ogowa said, ‘in fact, I feel fine.’

Crusher dared to concentrate on herself and when she did, she realised that all of her symptoms had gone too. She felt alert, awake and healthy. Caught in complete disbelief, she looked to Q again and saw he had folded his arms over his chest. He didn’t look particularly complacent; he was just gazing her way with a blank expression.

‘Where did everyone go?’ she asked, referring to her hundreds of patients.

‘They are all healed and back on duty,’ he drawled, ‘if you cannot do your job properly, then it seems I have no choice but to do it for you.’

He went over to the doors then. Crusher might have thanked him for this particular display of power, but his rudeness had flattened her gratitude. 

‘Do not let this happen again,’ he said, with a light frown, and then he turned and left.

Crusher looked to her nurses, all of them startled and sporting their usual healthy pallor and looking rested and relieved not to be sick anymore. She tapped her communicator. ‘Crusher to Picard,’

‘Picard here. What happened? All of a sudden I’m back on the bridge and I feel fine…’

‘It was Q,’ she replied, ‘he healed everyone,’

‘What?’

‘You didn’t mishear me, Jean-Luc. It was Q. He made everyone well again.’

A long pause. ‘Alright, Doctor. Noted. I’ll record it in the ship’s log. Picard out.’

Doctor Crusher was at a loss. She was glad that the virus had been eradicated, glad that sickbay was now empty of seriously ill officers and civilian passengers alike, but the shock was immense and she felt a little unsteadied. She told the others she’d be in her office if anyone needed her and as soon as she was in there, she locked the door and then sat down behind her desk.

_He was rude and combative, but Q did the right thing for once. Is there a chance he might truly have changed after all?_

*

Harper too was shocked when she was spirited away from her bed and then suddenly in her office. She jumped up from her chair, Spot still in her arms, and immediately walked out of the room and to the corridor beyond. A couple of Lieutenants she knew were out there and when she questioned them as to what had happened, they were just as clueless as she was. Harper contacted the Captain then, knowing that if anyone would have the answers it would be him, and he informed her that Q had taken it upon himself to heal everyone and return them to duty.

‘I don’t understand,’ she replied, utterly taken offguard, ‘if he can heal people so easily then why didn’t he-’

‘Q remains as unpredictable as he has ever been, Counselor, and I doubt we will ever understand him or be able to determine his moods, whims or behaviour,’ was the dry response, ‘I have just been in touch with the Jethurnians also and they have confirmed that there is no trace of the virus down there. None of them were sick anyway, but the virus has quite literally been wiped out, almost as though it never existed at all.’

Harper shook her head. ‘Madness. Okay… well, let me know if you require me, Captain. I think I’ll contact the appointments I’d cancelled and get back to work,’

‘Understood. Picard out.’

Before she proceeded with such things, Harper knew she needed to take Spot back to her quarters and so she headed down the corridor and into a turbolift. Spot was watchful and purring as they journeyed together and when they were home, Harper fed her and then decided to spend a few minutes in making the bed and tidying away evidence of her previous sickness. Those things done, she exited her quarters again and got on her way.

She was almost at her office again when she saw Q standing there, leaning against the wall. He had a look of irritation on his face.

_Uh oh._

When he saw her, Q moved over to her at once. ‘Where have you been?’ he demanded.

‘I had to take something to my quarters,’ she replied.

‘I wanted to talk to you,’ he added, his tone petulant.

‘Well, I can’t be at your beck and call, I’m afraid,’ she said. 

Harper went into her office then and he followed her, sitting down without being invited to. He didn’t put his feet up this time, he just sat back in his chair and sulked. Harper watched him for a moment and then she went to fetch a coffee. By the time she had carried it over and had also taken a seat, Q was openly scowling.

‘I have appointments I need to get on with,’ she said, sipping her coffee and then booting up her comm screen so she could check her schedule.

‘And this is the thanks I get for saving everyone on the ship,’ he snapped, ‘had I not done that, everyone on board would have been dead by the end of the week. Crusher hadn’t figured that out yet because she’s slow on the uptake, but I knew. I saved _everyone_. I vanquished that Jethurnian plague and I am still being treated like I’m a grenade without a pin. I don’t know why I bother.’

Harper turned her gaze to him. ‘Thank you for what you did,’ she said.

He leaned over her desk and stared at her. ‘You’re being sarcastic…’

‘I’m not,’ she replied, with complete honesty, ‘listen to me. I said _thank you for what you did_ and my tone isn’t loaded, Q. I am grateful for your kindness. I appreciate you helping.’

He sat back again, with a huff.

_Maybe this is meant to be my first appointment today. He’s not an official patient but it’s obvious he needs someone to talk to. He healed me and so the least I can do is tolerate him for a while._

‘My other patients can wait, I suppose, given that I haven’t contacted them yet. Would you like to stay for a while after all?’ she offered.

Q shifted in his chair, hooking a leg over the arm of it and then steepling his hands over his chest. ‘Yes,’ he said.

‘What’s on your mind?’ 

‘Proving myself is not something I have ever had to do and now I’m putting effort into it for the first time and it isn’t working, I’m getting angry. When I get angry, I want to do things that are unbecoming of a being such as myself,’

‘But you’re not doing those things. You’re helping people. You fixed the replicator glitch and today you healed every sick person on this ship,’

‘Hmph.’

Harper sipped more coffee and then she waited.

‘Through being a Father, I’ve learned that when someone tries to get your attention by behaving poorly, the attention is given under duress and can be tinged with frustration and reluctance. When someone tries to get your attention by behaving well, by being obedient and thoughtful and kindly, bonds are strengthened,’ he revealed.

‘I think you’re right about that. It seems that your son is teaching you valuable lessons,’ Harper replied.

‘Being a Father teaches me more than I thought possible,’

‘Being a parent will always surely do that for anyone who is lucky enough to have a child. I’m happy that you’re getting to experience these things and that it’s opening your mind. Being a parent is a special thing indeed.’

Q watched her for a time then. ‘About that…’

Harper raised her eyebrows. ‘Yes?’

‘I regret my attitude when we spoke before. It was… insensitive of me to force you to face the fact that Data cannot give you children. I was in an unusual mood and you paid the price.’

Harper nodded. Her heart clinched, but she didn’t let it show. ‘Apology accepted.’

Q narrowed his eyes. ‘Anyway. Despite my recent choices and their positive effects, I’m becoming aware that my communication skills remain underdeveloped. I get frustrated easily. I helped Doctor Crusher today but as I did so, I was adversarial and rude. It’s as though I can’t help myself. I try to be warm and polite, but it’s not in my nature. Yet… I want approval and forgiveness. The cycle is vicious. I endeavour to be easygoing but the harder I try, the more fake my attempts seem to be. I’m coming to the conclusion that the things I did in the past will never be overlooked. Jean-Luc and the others will never believe that I’ve opened my mind to altruistic behaviour.’

Harper sighed a little. ‘They have very good reasons not to trust you. When you drop a plate to the floor and then glue it back together, the plate is fixed but the cracks remain,’

‘What a two-dimensional metaphor. Is that the best you can do? You’re such a novice. Troi must have been out of her mind to promote you. She at least was creative with her psychobabble. I miss her verbosity. You’re quite stupid by comparison.’

Sitting back and putting her coffee down, Harper gave him a scornful look. 

Q returned that look and then realisation crossed his face and he rolled his eyes at himself. ‘See? I’m inherently unkind.’

She was in agreement with that, but she also felt as steadfast as usual in her desire to get to know him. He’d been mean to her repeatedly but she had a thing for the underdog, omnipotent or not. ‘You’ve been antagonistic for as long as you can remember. Old habits die hard. It’s going to take a long time for the changes you keep promising others to take full effect. I get the feeling that you had your mind opened just a little as to the benefits of being kind and helpful and then before you fully explored those things and came to understand their meaning, you just turned up here and expected everyone to see in you things even you’re not fully used to yet.’

His mouth twitched and then he smiled a little. ‘So you think I’m impulsive?’

‘Yes, completely. And a show-off,’

‘And you believe that I should have done more work on myself before coming here?’

‘Yes, that too,’

‘And that I need to do some soul-searching… that I need to understand these new facets of my personality before expecting others to believe me and trust me?’

Harper nodded. ‘All of the above. Yes.’

Q stood up and when he pushed his seat under her desk, he leaned over and rested his upper body weight on it. He gave her a long look and then he smiled. ‘I don’t really think you’re stupid. You’re actually rather bright and perceptive for someone so young,’

‘Thanks.’

He remained where he was for a beat and then he stood. ‘You were right about me being a show-off,’

‘I know,’

‘That’s the reason I came here. I wanted to show off that I’ve changed. Unfortunately, the changes in me have been exhibited with old, unaltered approaches. Perhaps I do need to take stock of these feelings I have and then return some other time, when I’ve learned how to apply my benevolence to a better way of communicating.’

Harper gazed up at him. ‘I think that’s a great idea. Whether you’re human or not, omniscient or not, you clearly have a psychology that holds the same raw spots as anyone else. That doesn’t make you weak, you know. Being able to face your faults and having the strength of character to want to improve them and make up for old transgressions is powerful indeed.’

Q laughed. Something cool glittered in his eyes. ‘I believe I owe you for this session…’

She shook her head, cringing inwardly as he lifted his hand. ‘Don’t click your fingers,’ she said, ‘please, Q. See what we’ve worked through today as me thanking you for saving the ship from the virus. Or if not that, then at least just for saving me personally. I don’t need or want your miracles right now. I’m happy with my life as it is and I wouldn’t change a single thing.’

He was still smiling when he said, ‘Not even the complications with your Father?’

‘Not even that,’ Harper replied, without hesitation, ‘if we’re meant to work things out, then I want it to be natural and real,’

‘Not even that Data can’t give you children? I could revive Lal… I could…’

‘No,’ she insisted, ‘please. We’re even now. You were cruel to me last time but you apologised and I’ve accepted that. You saved me from the virus and I’ve counselled you to offer my gratitude. You and I are even, as far as I’m concerned. I would much rather we leave the situation as it is; on even terms with a balance of respect between us.’

Q dropped his hand again and moved over to the door. ‘Alright, Counselor. But I won’t forget our little interactions,’

‘Neither will I,’ she replied, with a polite smile. How could she forget these odd encounters? She’d never known anyone like him and years of psychology study at the Academy could never have prepared her for such things. 

‘Adieu then, for now,’ he said. The doors to her office opened. ‘And thank you once again for your time. I will remember fondly that you chose to support me when I was undeserving of that much. Goodbye.’

He left, the doors closed and Harper remained where she was, gazing in that direction as though he was still there. She needed a few minutes to restore a sense of complete calmness inside her and when that was eventually managed and she once more felt like herself, she turned her attention to her comm screen and checked her messages. She re-organised her appointments for the rest of the day and onwards into the evening and then she saw she had a message from Starfleet Academy.

Opening it, she started to smile. In just a few days, there was going to be a series of conferences, assemblies and lectures on child psychology held at the Academy itself. Experts from many quadrants would be there and it would be thorough enough to add to her qualifications and give a real boost to her curriculum vitae overall. 

All she needed to do was to accept the invitation and then be dropped off on Deep Space 9. There, she would be picked up by a shuttle and then she’d be taken away for a month of education on something that was now very dear to her. It was the most perfect opportunity. She would get to learn so much and there would be hands-on experience far greater than that available in the ship’s school. It was a blessing, this invitation, but…

_A month… a whole month away from Data… can I be without him for all that time?_

Harper knew she needed to speak with him about it. As soon as she got the chance, she’d ask him what he thought and if he felt like she did; that it was something she surely couldn’t miss, then she’d inform the Captain as to her intended absence and then she’d arrange the transport.

_I hope Data knows what this means to me. I would love to be there. It’s exactly what I want to study and excel in. I hope he understands…_

*

Heading out of the Captain’s ready room, Commander Data went to the turbolift and was taken straight to deck nine. His mood that day was an ebullient one, positive feelings having carried over from the previous day and heightened even moreso by two factors – the first being that the Jethurnian virus had been zapped into non-existence and that everyone on board was healthy again and the second being that his plans for proposing to Kristen were going from strength to strength.

He has just asked the Captain to oversee the ceremony, should Kristen say yes, and the Captain had accepted and been very encouraging and lightsome about the situation. Like Geordi and like his Mother, he too believed that Kristen would be overjoyed at a proposal and that she’d definitely accept. 

Better still, the token that Data’s Mother had sent had arrived already and it was perfect as well as perfectly-timed. It was a ring that his Father, Doctor Noonien Soong, had given to her many years ago and though it was not specifically an engagement ring, it was still incredibly beautiful. It was a platinum band and it held a princess-cut white sapphire, along with smaller, blue diamonds. The note that came with the ring told Data that his Father had given it to his Mother as a token of eternity, as a way to let her know he loved her and always would.

That relationship had dissolved of course, due to his Father’s preoccupation with work, but Data didn’t attach any superstition for he had no belief in such things. He had been in the process of designing a ring for the replicators to bring into fruition, but to be able to offer a ring to Kristen that was part of his family’s legacy and history – well, that was ideal. 

He had hidden it already in his quarters. It was secreted away with one of the costumes he liked to wear when enjoying holonovels on the holodeck with Geordi. It was in the pocket of his Sherlock Holme’s overcoat and there it would stay until the rest of his planning was finalised.

There was just one more person he wished to speak to before he would be ready to go it alone and so as soon as he was at his workstation, he sent a message to Captain William Riker.

The _USS Titan_ responded almost immediately and when Data saw his ex-colleague again, he saw that he was in a ready room of his own now. There was a trombone in the background, stored on a high shelf, and the furnishings in the room were muted in tones of grey-blue. Riker gave him a smile and Data returned it.

‘Hello, old friend,’ Riker said.

‘Greetings. I hope this message is not ill-timed,’

‘There’s never a bad time for me to hear from any of the crew of the _Enterprise_ , Data. All of you are like family for me. What can I do for you?’

‘I have a matter at hand and I am attempting to gather research and advice on it before I bring it to the forefront and put my plan into motion. As you have unique experience in these matters, I thought it prudent to contact you,’

‘And what sort of matters are you faced with?’

Data couldn’t help but smile again. He was getting seriously excited about the proposal now and he very much enjoyed the butterflies he felt inside whenever he got the chance to talk about it. ‘I have decided to ask Kristen to marry me.’

Riker grinned then and leaned back in his chair. He rapped his knuckles on the desk and then he laughed in a way that sounded totally thrilled. ‘That’s the best news I’ve had in a long time,’

‘Thank you,’

‘So you’re obviously wanting me to advise you on how to ask her,’ Riker presumed, correctly, ‘but I’m not so sure I should do that.’

Data tilted his head. ‘Why?’

‘Because it’s not my place to and nor is it anyone else’s. I know you have come to me in the past when needing advice or input on personal matters but when it comes to something as huge as a proposal of marriage, you need to go it on your own. I could tell you a hundred stories of how people I know I have gone about asking their partners to marry them, but those stories belong to them and shouldn’t influence what you choose to do,’ Riker replied.

Slightly crestfallen, Data nodded. ‘I understand.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Riker said, ‘you don’t need anyone else to help you, Data. Everything you need to know is already inside you. You just need to think very carefully about Kristen, how she makes you feel and how you want to make her feel. You’ve already got all the answers.’

Data thought about that. ‘What if the plan I have been working on does not match expectations she may have? My research thus far has brought me to realise that some human women have sentimental ideals that they have carried throughout their lives. Some know exactly the kind of proposal and the kind of wedding ceremony they would like to have, stemming back to the days of their childhood. If Kristen is the same, then I must endeavour to make those wishes come true. But I cannot ask her for the specifics of her ideal proposal, for it will spoil the element of surprise.’

Riker smiled at him. ‘I have no doubts whatsoever that even if you just took her to one side on the bridge and popped the question, she’d go all starry-eyed and say yes. She’s _crazy_ about you. She won’t need drama or fantasy-fulfilment. She has never struck me as someone who needs anything more than love and loyalty and she has that much already. Just ask her. She’ll say yes,’

‘I hope that she will,’

‘I _know_ that she will. Concentrate on that instead of worrying or planning too much,’

‘I will try to. Thank you, Sir,’

‘Are you going to get down on one knee?’

‘Yes. I would like to incorporate that tradition,’

‘Great. Good luck, Data. Not that you’ll need it.’

Data smiled. ‘Thank you, Sir.’

‘You’re welcome. Riker out.’

The screen went blank and so Data left his workstation and went to his living quarters. He paused there for a moment and then he turned and went to where he stored his other uniforms and holodeck costumes. He took out the engagement ring and looked down at it. 

The white sapphire was so clear that when he turned the ring in his hand, it cast rainbows of refracted light. 

_I believe I know what to do. Riker was right. All the answers I needed are already inside my heart. I will propose tomorrow and it will be perfect._


	10. Starlight

The following afternoon, Captain Picard directed his ship and crew to another mission. He still regretted having to leave Jethurn but Starfleet archaeologists had arrived that morning and he knew he had to leave the excavation in their hands. The _Enterprise_ was required at a planet in the Delta Quadrant where some colonists were struggling to settle in and integrate with the natives there and so they set off at a steady warp in that direction and life, it seemed, was destined to continue without such engaging past-times.

Picard was sat in his chair on the bridge and was deeply involved in a conversation about the colonists with Worf and Data when suddenly there was a popping sound, a telltale flash of light and he was instantly relocated to the main observation lounge, along with every other member of his senior staff. He straightened where he sat immediately and then looked at the baffled faces around him. Data, Worf, LaForge, N’Dya, Harper and Crusher had all been as caught offguard as he had. Oddly enough, Guinan was there too.

Q appeared then. He was wearing that damned Captain’s uniform again and he was sitting atop the table as he had around the time he’d arrived; legs crossed and posture relaxed in that vagabondish way he had. Even when he was trying to prove himself to be a different entity to that he’d been in the past, he was still intrinsically confrontational and had clearly learnt nothing as to manners or respect.

‘I have literally not one spare minute for your games today,’ Picard said, steely eyes held in a stare, ‘please return my crew and I to our stations so we can continue to prepare for our mission to Ayatune.’

Q shook his head. ‘Patience, mon Capitaine. I will not keep you for long.’

Worf stood up, straightened his uniform tunic, and headed straight for the door. Q inclined his head in a subtle fashion and then Worf was immediately back at the table again, seated and held there by invisible force. ‘I refuse to be a pawn for your amusement!’ he roared.

‘Oh, give it up, you goat-faced Klingon thug. We both know that you have nothing to offer to an intelligent conversation so just shut your mouth and listen while the grownups talk,’ Q replied.

Worf turned to the Captain. ‘Sir, I will _not_ conform to this! I will not-’

‘I understand your frustration, Commander. As it is, we have as little choice as ever when faced with these tiresome events so please control yourself,’ Picard said.

Fuming with anger, Worf clenched his fists but didn’t attempt to say anything else.

‘That’s better,’ Q said, ‘now, shall we get to the matter at hand?’

‘What matter at hand?’ Picard asked. 

‘The fact that I’m going to be leaving you all after this meeting so I can get on my merry way.’

_Thank all Gods and Prophets for that,_ Picard thought. 

‘I’ve monitored you as much as I found necessary and come to many conclusions, some of which I’m not about to share with you and others that I am,’ Q continued.

‘Get on with it then,’ Crusher said, ‘I might not have a sickbay full of people anymore but I still have duties that need my immediate attention.’

Guinan was so angry that her breathing was out of sync. Picard could hear that, as she was sat right next to him. He looked to her, trying to assure her silently that this charade would be over soon, but when she returned that look he could see that she didn’t want to hear it. She was already far too angry to be calmed, even by an old and dear friend.

‘Please pay attention,’ Q said, waving a hand at them.

Guinan turned in her seat. ‘Hurry up and get this over with,’ she snapped, ‘I might not have duties like the others but I would rather be anywhere in the whole universe than be in the same room as you,’

‘And people say _I’m_ the one with character flaws. I am grateful to you for one thing, though. Thank you for proving to me that some things truly do never change and that they aren’t meant to. I might have evolved in my understanding of humanity and how I present myself but you, wicked creature, could never do the same. If anything, you get worse with the passage of time. Do you never get sick of this tireless and unyielding ire? It must be exhausting for you, being so contemptuous and quick to judge.’

Picard shook his head and before Guinan had the chance to retaliate, he held up a hand to stop her. ‘Q, this is preposterous. Please get on with whatever you want to say. You’re taking up valuable time already.’

Q smiled a little. ‘Alright, Jean-Luc, but only because you’re an old friend. I called you in here today to say farewell to you all and to thank you for your patience. I don’t say that glibly, either. I mean it. I have done exactly what I came here to do, I believe, and now I feel free to return to my family.’

Data tilted his head. ‘Your purpose here was to prove that you have changed, was it not?’

‘Yes, Mister Data,’

‘But… you are still exerting control over us when we request otherwise. Your personality, or at least the way you convey your thoughts and feelings, is much the same as when we encountered you during missions on the _Enterprise D._ You are still surly, intrusive and insulting,’

‘Yes, that’s true. Some aspects of my personality remain unaltered but when we read between the lines and look at things on a grander scale, we can surely see evidence of my burgeoning humanity?’

‘You are referring to your good deeds?’ Data asked.

Q smiled and then tipped him a wink. ‘Leave it to the android to apply kindness to reason,’

‘I was not being kind,’ Data replied, ‘I was being truthful,’

‘Ah, but there is a clearing of my good name within that truthfulness and for that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I do prefer you with that emotion chip, you know. On the outside, you might seem to be the same blank slate as you used to be but I can sense those subtle nuances of human emotion within you and they’re as real as any feelings I’ve noted in mortal beings. It’s almost as though you have a soul. It’s quite heart-warming really.’

Data frowned and then looked to Picard. ‘Sir, my honesty was not meant to clear Q’s name of any of his previous misdemeanours and nor was I attempting to suggest his misadventurous behaviour has been forgiven. It was meant-’

‘Save it, Mister Data.’ Picard folded his arms and looked to Q. ‘If we are reading between the lines here then I can only assume that you’ve gathered us here today because you’re expecting an outpouring of gratitude for fixing the replicators and eradicating the Jethurnian flu. You will not receive pats on the back or hearty applause from my crew or from myself. You have my acknowledgement that such acts were well-meaning, but I’m afraid that it will take more than that for you to earn trust and respect on this ship. You are still unwelcome here and that will always be so.’

Q sighed musically. ‘Of course. I expected as much. But dare you also acknowledge that I have proven the point I came here to make? I haven’t antagonised anyone-’

Worf bared his teeth. ‘You have been antagonistic since the moment you appeared!’

Q flicked a hand at him and suddenly Worf had a gag around his mouth. Worf tried to rip it off, but the thing was fastened tight and there was no way to dislodge it, not even with his considerable strength. Then some straps appeared at his wrists and ankles and he was bound to the chair too. He had no hope of moving, let alone breaking free.

‘This isn’t the way, Q,’ Harper spoke up, ‘please… think about the things we’ve talked about. This kind of behaviour isn’t right and you know it.’

He looked to her. ‘You might have to forgive me on this one,’ he said to her, ‘I’m afraid I can never quite find it within myself to tolerate Worf. When I look at him, even inside him, I see less than the primordial soup that ignites life on far-gone, feral planets. But trust me, as soon as I’m gone he’ll be able to roar and beat his chest as usual.’

Picard sighed for a long time. As much as it pained him, he knew he was going to have to compromise with Q otherwise they would probably be sitting in this room until the end of time. ‘Q,’ he said, getting his attention again, ‘you do have my gratitude for both fixing the replicator glitch and for saving the crew from the Jethurnian virus. I can say no more than that and I hope you’ll accept it.’

Q smiled, looking pleased. ‘Was that a… _thank you_ … I heard there? Within all that pomp and reluctance? Did you just _thank_ me, Jean-Luc?’

‘Yes, I just thanked you,’ Picard said, his tone tightening by the second, ‘and now that your deeds have been approved and you have been given that thanks, will you please return my crew to their stations so that we can continue to work on our upcoming mission?’

‘Not before I offer my thanks in return for your hospitality, no matter how begrudging it might have been. I’m going to take my leave now and get back to my family. I’m sure that Q junior must be missing me, even though to him it will seem as though I’ve been gone for little more than twenty seconds.’ Q blinked out of sight and then he re-appeared at the viewport window. ‘I will be back though, my friends. I will return, when I feel the need to check in with you all again and when I do, you can rest assured that great and wonderful things will surely occur,’

‘Fine,’ Picard said, ‘farewell, goodbye, adieu,’

‘Adieu, mon Capitaine. And to you all.’

Q disappeared and at the same exact moment, so did the binds and the gag that had kept Worf motionless and silent in his seat. Crusher leapt up and went to him at once, wanting to check if he was alright. When it was clear that the only thing damaged was his pride, she patted his shoulder and then took her seat again.

‘Why the Q Continuum don’t just kick him out again and have done with it, I will never know,’ Guinan said, ‘and now that this sorry state of affairs is over, do you mind if I return to my bar?’

‘Of course,’ Picard nodded to her, ‘I’m sorry for the inconvenience,’

‘Hardly your fault,’ she replied, as she got up, ‘I’ll meet you later for fencing, as we planned. I think I’m going to need that today. He gets more and more reckless, no matter how much he protests otherwise.’

She left and the others started to get up too. ‘Just a moment, Counselor,’ Picard said, as Harper pushed her chair under.

‘Yes Sir?’

‘Remain here for a moment, please.’

The room emptied, a dark mood moving with them, and Harper waited until they were gone completely before seating herself on the edge of the table. ‘Are you alright, Captain?’ she asked.

‘All the better for knowing he’s gone. What happened during your exchanges with him?’

‘I suppose I’d better be honest,’ she said, as an aside to herself, and then, ‘he was somewhere between open-minded and as antagonistic as you know him to be. Our first meeting together was in the ship’s school. He said very little that time. The second meeting was in my office. He and I sparred for a while and then he hurt me by getting personal about a few things I’d rather not disclose. Our last meeting was yesterday. He was rude and stand-offish but he also listened to me when I told him he should be working harder on himself instead of expecting everyone to treat him in a friendly and accepting manner. I think much of this situation has been about him wanting to show off that he’s at least trying to change,’

‘And there’s no doubt in my mind that as soon as he thinks he’s done that extra work on himself, he’ll return to show off all over again,’ Picard mused.

‘I wouldn’t rule it out,’

‘Did he offend you badly?’ he asked.

‘I’m over it now,’ she said, with a smile that had an obvious professional veneer.

‘Good. You’re dismissed, then. I’m sure you have plenty to attend to.’

Harper nodded, standing up. ‘There is one thing I would like to put you, Sir. If I may?’

‘Of course. Proceed,’

‘I’ve been invited to a series of child psychology assemblies and lectures back at the Academy. It would take an entire month, but I’m keenly interested in going. If I decide to, would you support that or would you rather I not go and remain here?’

Picard looked up at her. ‘Well, a month is a long time for a flagship vessel to go without a Counselor,’ he said.

‘Yes, Sir. I’ll decline the invitation,’ she replied.

‘Slow down. I didn’t say no to you,’ he said, with a stern look.

‘Sorry…’

‘I’m aware that you’ve been developing a keen interest in these matters. As we have lots of children on the ship and our missions often require officers with a qualification in that specific type of psychology, I see no reason why you shouldn’t proceed. These assemblies will be beneficial to you and to me also, when you return. Would you be able to organise liaising transport?’

‘Aye, Sir. If you could drop me at Deep Space 9 in a couple of days, I’ll be picked up from there,’

‘Alright, I’m sure that can be arranged.’

Harper smiled at him, her excitement only evident at that moment. ‘Thank you.’

Picard nodded. ‘Acknowledged. Now, dismissed.’

She had a little skip in her step as she made her way to the door. Picard watched her leave and then he got to his feet and headed back to the bridge. 

*

Lieutenant Harper’s good mood remained level for the rest of her duties that day, though when she had some time alone between counselling her patients, she did find herself feeling worried about discussing the child psychology conferences with Data. 

Though he had never been mean-spirited or possessive, she knew it would dishearten him to know she’d been gone for four whole weeks. She felt the same way. In fact, the singular negative aspect to the situation was being without him and was also the only factor that had made her consider it so carefully. Had she not been with Data romantically, she would have accepted the invitation the moment that Captain Picard had granted his approval. But before she proceeded, she knew she needed to talk it through with him. It was the only way to be fair to them both and the only way to reach the right conclusion. 

After her last patient left her office at 21:07 hours, she sat for a time and wondered how she should bring it up with him. She wondered what Data would say. Kristen doubted that he’d say she shouldn’t go but she knew he’d be disappointed about the distance that would be put between them and that he might feel blue about it. 

Since she’d joined the ship as a junior Lieutenant, they had never spent too long apart and even when he’d been gone at the trial of Yhea Tal, she’d been able to take comfort in being in his personal quarters. That thought made her smile. She’d still been with Soshi all that time ago but even so, she’d felt compelled to be in those rooms all the same. Soshi had already been cheating on her by then, not that she knew, and yet something unconscious in her mind had driven her to take refuge in Data’s quarters. She’d found peace there – a sense of safety and security. Long before she’d been able to face her true feelings for him, her heart had known the truth.

_It used to unbalance me when he touched me and these days I go mad with the need to be loved by those gentle, knowing hands…_

_I feel so safe with him. So loved._

Standing from her desk, Kristen decided to go and see Data right away. She knew the conversation they were about to have would be difficult but it was unavoidable too. Being away from him for a month would be a thorn in her side, but she’d be home eventually and then they could make further plans for their future. They could make up for lost time and then they could talk again about many issues; everything from holodeck programs she had in mind for them to share to the next time they had shore leave and even Lal. Lal had been on her mind a lot, since Q had first mentioned her.

_We have so much ahead of us, love. So much of our shared future to carve out._

Tapping her communicator, she said, ‘Harper to Data.’

Chirrup. ‘Data here,’

‘Where are you? Are you off duty now?’

‘I am off duty and I am currently waiting for you outside your office.’

Bemused, Kristen went over to the door and opened it. ‘Why didn’t you signal me to let me know you were here?’ she asked.

Data smiled at her. ‘Your last patient only just left. I thought it better to wait here,’

‘Come inside then,’ she replied, gesturing past herself.

‘That will not be necessary. If you are ready to leave, I would like to take you somewhere,’ he said.

‘Where?’ Kristen asked.

‘You will find out in just a few moments. Please. Come with me?’

_What on earth is he up to? It’s not like Data to be vague…_

Kristen gave him a curious look and then she exited her office. Data took her hand and then they were walking down the corridor together. In the turbolift, he asked them to be taken to deck nine and at that, she thought they were going home. Once on that level of the ship, they walked straight passed their door however and kept going. 

‘Um… what’s this about?’ she asked, tugging his hand.

His hand squeezed hers. 

‘Data?’ She frowned a little. ‘Oh wait, did you reschedule your violin concert?’

‘Negative.’

Onwards they walked and when they reached their destination, Kristen was more confused than ever. He’d brought her to the doors of the office she’d had before Troi had left the ship. The office she’d trained in, the one she’d used to counsel her patients within when she was still a junior officer. She looked up at him and lifted her hand in a puzzled gesture. Data smiled at her again and then they headed inside. 

Everything was as it used to be, but there was a yellow rose on her old desk. He picked it up and then passed it to her. ‘This is for you, Kristen,’

‘Thanks… it’s gorgeous…’ she said, as touched as she was puzzled, ‘but… why are we here?’

He gave her a soft look then, one that was filled with warmth and feeling. ‘We are here because this is the place where we met. We commenced our knowing one another as patient and therapist. I was… troubled back then. My emotion chip was still fusing to my neural net and as such, I was easily overwhelmed even by basic stimuli. When Counselor Troi learned that Starfleet had assigned a protégé to her, she decided to appoint me to you as your only case,’

‘Well, yes… I remember all of that,’ she replied.

‘It was a pivotal moment in my life. To some on board this ship, this room is nothing more than a work area. To me, it is the place where my emotional development progressed and also where I met the first and only person I have ever truly loved,’ Data said.

_And here are the butterflies again…_

‘That’s… really, really sweet…’ she said, her tone a little hushed now. 

He moved close to her and she leaned up to receive the kiss he dropped on her lips. Then he took her hand again and they were leaving the office and heading back down the corridor. 

Though Kristen remained perplexed by this unusually sentimental behaviour, she decided to go with it. If Data was in the mood to visit old haunts and re-live pleasant times, then it was fine with her. Back in the turbolift, she waited with him as they moved up a deck and then they were on their way to TenForward.

Preparing to head straight in there, Kristen was surprised when he touched her arm and told her to wait for a moment. She did just that and watched as he disappeared through the doors. She smiled as people passed her by and tried her best to be patient. Excitement had added to those crazy butterflies and by now, she was finding it hard to keep still. She ended up leaning against the wall and concentrating on the rose she was holding. It was so lush and beautiful, just like the others he’d given her recently.

When Data returned to her, he had another rose. This one was pink. 

‘Thanks,’ she said, biting her lip as she took it.

‘I have brought you here next because this is the exact place where we had one of our first arguments,’ he said.

_Oh. Damn. He’s right about that. We had a horrible fight here, back when I was so confused about my feelings. He was acting so strangely and the things I said were so mean…_

‘That memory is not entirely bitter, Kristen,’ Data continued, imploring her with his amber eyes to stay on the same page he was on, ‘the argument we had was painful but it was resolved very quickly. You ignored the order I gave you to return to your quarters and you went into the bar. There, you realised what I had been trying to protect you from… and then you came to me and we made things right.’

She smiled slightly. ‘But I was so mean to you… I still regret that…’

‘The things you said were negative in context, yes, but then you came to me and then you apologised. I forgave you and we moved on. Because we do things together, as a team. That is the basis for a strong and healthful, loving relationship… is it not?’

‘You’re right,’ she replied, very much on his page at that moment.

Data took her hand again. ‘Come with me.’

Holding both roses in her free hand, she moved with him as they made their way back down the corridor. ‘I have an additional memory that took place in TenForward,’ he said, ‘when I returned from the trial of Yhea Tal, there was a celebratory party that Guinan had organised. I avoided you at first because I had been warned to stay away from you and I was attempting to do the right thing. But you came over to me and as soon as we started to speak, I knew I could not maintain any distance between us. We talked and then we left the party together…’

‘And you took me to the Captain’s private observation lounge,’ she supplied.

‘That is correct.’

A few minutes later and they were at that exact location. Kristen felt swept away on a tide of nostalgia and love by then. They entered the room and it was just as lovely as she remembered; with a perfect view of the starfield. Data brought her over to the window so they could stand there for a while. Kristen stared out at the stars, bright like a scattering of smashed diamonds against the inky backdrop of space, and then he moved to stand behind her and she was distracted. 

It came as no surprise at all when he produced another rose and placed it in her hand. This one was a deep, violet-purple. 

Kristen looked down at it with a smile, her cheeks glowing with a blush, as he then wrapped his arms around her and gave her an affectionate squeeze. ‘This is where we had our first kiss,’ she whispered, ‘you told me you’d always love me, no matter what,’

‘That truth remains,’ Data replied, his mouth near her ear.

‘I kissed you, that first time,’ she went on, ‘and you deserved that much and more, after how sweet and selfless you’d been. You were a great patient but when we became friends, real friends, you took such good care of me. You looked after me. Even when you asked me on a date and I said no, you didn’t treat me any differently. You were always so sweet. I was confused after that kiss but it felt so right. I think that deep down I knew that you were my home… that your heart is my home… I just…’

Data kissed the side of her neck. ‘It was a defining moment for me. A vital and necessary exchange. That kiss was unlike any other I had ever received. I re-live it more frequently than you could imagine.’

Kristen turned around in his arms then and looked up at him. ‘If you carry on like this, I’m going to cry… this is almost too much…’

‘You wish me to desist?’

‘No, definitely not.’

Data kissed her, soundly so, and then smiled at her. ‘Come with me,’ he said.

The next place he took her to was back on deck nine. They walked passed her old office and then came to the rooms that some months ago, had been her personal quarters. Kristen had lived there for over a year and yet it was odd being back there again. She was once again asked to wait, he signalled his arrival there and then went inside without her. Quicker this time, Data returned to her within less than a minute. The rose she was given this time was a brighter, more luscious pink.

‘Thank you…’ she said, as she accepted it.

‘It was my intention for us to go inside these rooms but as they have been assigned to a different crew member, I decided against it,’ Data told her.

‘That’s alright,’ Kristen replied.

‘I have brought you here because even before I had realised my feelings for you, I knew it was a place I could come to, should the need arise. It was a place where I was welcomed. You encouraged me to come to you during times of emotional distress and so that was what I did,’

‘I remember,’ she said, with a fond smile.

‘It is also the place where we were intimate for the first time,’ Data added.

Her blush increased a little. ‘I remember that too…’

Data smiled at her. ‘Before that occasion, I had only ever been used in a sexual manner and so for you to accept me and want me, for who I am, was a life-altering experience. I had made love before but it had-’

Kristen frowned then and looked over her shoulder, worried that there might be someone passing by who would overhear such deep and personal words. Thankfully, the corridor was empty and so she looked up at him again. 

‘I will endeavour to be discreet,’ Data said, noting her concern, ‘the point I was attempting to make is that when we were intimate that first time, it was meaningful to me beyond anything I had experienced before. It was… beautiful.’

Kristen moved closer to him. ‘It was beautiful to me too,’ she whispered.

He rested his hands on her hips. ‘As have been the many times since that you have made love to me. Previous to having you in my life, I had never known such pleasure. I feel fortunate every day that you share these things with me. The sexual nature of our relationship is a layer of human experience that I hold dear and I would not ever wish to touch or kiss or have sex with anyone else. You are the only person I will share my sexuality with. That will never change, Kristen. I want only to be with you, in all senses.’

She swallowed over the lump of emotion in her throat. ‘I feel the same way,’ she whispered, huskier this time, ‘you’re the love of my life. I adore you,’

‘Another reason, among many, that I am fortunate.’ He brushed some hair back from the side of her face. Kristen leaned in to that tender touch and then she held his hand there, turning her face so that she could kiss his thumb. He watched that and then released a soft, inorganic sigh. ‘If you will follow me, I have other places to take you,’

‘Not just yet,’ she said, pressing herself against him, ‘kiss me.’

Data moved his arms around her and then he kissed her jaw, her chin and then her lips. Kristen melted into that particular kiss, needing it more than even she could understand. Confusion had left her by then and was replaced by utter happiness. She gently nipped his lower lip with her teeth, knowing he liked that, and then he returned the gesture by stroking his tongue against hers.

Discretion was forgotten for a length of time that was impossible for Kristen to measure. All she knew was that by the time that sensual kiss was broken and he was holding her hand as he guided her back towards the turbolift again, she had fallen completely in love with him far deeper than before and that he could take her anywhere, literally anywhere, now and she’d follow without question or complaint. 

But then she’d been willing to follow him anywhere for ages. Kristen had loved him for so long and yet they still had a lifetime ahead within which they could share so much. 

_I might be your first and only love, Data, but that feeling is mutual… there will never be anyone else but you…_

In the ship’s Arboretum, they sat down together and he gave her a white rose. She put it with all of those other colours, and then he drew her close and she rested her head on his shoulder.

‘I brought you to this specific destination because this is where we thought we might lose one another,’ he said, the timbre of his voice soft, ‘we both believed that you would be posted to the _USS Galatea_ and because you did not believe we could maintain a long-distance relationship, you decided it best we part ways. I did not agree with that, but I respected your choice because of how much I love you,’

‘I changed my mind, though,’ she said, with a sad smile, ‘I made another stupid decision by trying to end things but then I tried to quit my whole career so I could stay with you as a civilian,’

‘To say I was relieved when you came back to me would be the biggest understatement of many we have encountered together. I was happy… and fortunate… and complete, when you returned.’

Kristen leaned up to kiss his cheek and then she rested against him again. They stayed there for quite some time, not adding to the loving words they had shared. She lost herself in these sweet, unexpected moments and he kept an arm around her, keeping her close as they both reminisced over everything they’d re-lived so far. And there had been more, so much more.

When she had stayed with him in his quarters, following the devastating blow Soshi had given her heart. He’d taken care of her to perfection and had stayed by her side, whilst she slept. He’d encouraged her to eat and had held her when she cried. He had been patient and nurturing and entirely responsible for her eventual recovery.

When they had flirted and eased their friendship to new limits when working on Loistros. The heat and sultry passion in the air had aided their increasing closeness. Kristen remembered the pollution manual and her birthday. That painting he’d given her of the blazing sun. 

Then there had been the accident. Being without him as she healed from her injuries had hurt so much and when they were reunited, she’d seen him literally wired into the ship’s computer as LaForge and Crusher helped to fix him. Data had been exposed to her then in ways she’d have found terrifying when they first met. But by then he was in her heart and so she had grown closer still to him, not frightened at all by the flashing lights on the cranial areas of his endoskeleton, but intrigued by them instead.

When they had visited Komos B, trying to find the missing colonists. Ria and Dolan and Katalia. Those brutal and violent Komosian guards. Chattelian costumes. Death and life. 

So much. _So much._

Kristen sat back to look at him. ‘Do you have somewhere else to take me?’ she invited.

Data smiled at her and then stood, offering her his hand. ‘Yes. I wish to take you back to our quarters now,’ he said.

She stood too and keeping her roses held close, she took his hand and then they left the Arboretum and made their way to the turbolift for the last time that evening. The mood between them was quiet and deeply thoughtful by then and Kristen was also spellbound by a sense that the biggest surprise was yet to come. She dare not wonder too much and so she stayed close by Data and even when they were back at deck nine and entering their quarters, she didn’t ask questions. 

The whole place was lit with candles. The glow of them was unexpected, but it made her smile. She had never seen their quarters look so romantic. He brought her into their lounge area and that was where she found he’d set out a bottle of champagne, two glasses and the last rose – a red one. 

She bent to pick it up and then she looked down at all of those flowers he had given her, each one presented at such a special place. They were all so stunningly beautiful. Their scent was heady and sweet, much like the memories that had accompanied them. Kristen was allowed a moment or two to appreciate them further and then they were eased from her hands and placed down on the table. 

Data moved her so she was situated right in the centre of that part of the room and then he put her hands to her waist and looked into her eyes for a long time.

Kristen looked back at him, trusting him entirely.

‘There is a purpose to my actions tonight and that purpose is not entirely based on nostalgia,’ he told her.

‘Alright…’

‘I have tried to plan this event to the best of my ability because I wanted it to be memorable and special and I also wished for it to show you how much I care for you, Kristen. I love you very much.’

She nodded. Unable to help it, she shed a couple of tears then. Data didn’t fuss over that much, he just wiped them away very carefully and then he put his hand back to her waist. ‘It’s been lovely,’ she managed to say, with a hitching sigh.

Data took a deep breath then. He might not need to breathe, but his feelings clearly affected such things. She could tell he was nervous because she’d seen him like this before, only under other less heart-stoppingly perfect and emotive circumstances. His golden eyes gazed about her facial features, emotion touching his expression, and then he put a little bit of space between them and slowly lowered himself down onto one knee. 

Kristen’s hands shot to her face. They were trembling. Her legs were shaking too. ‘Oh, bloody hell,’ she said.

Then there was a ring. It was, if she could have requested the specifics, the exact sort of ring she would have wanted to be offered. It was platinum, with gorgeous stones that had the most unbelievable clarity. Data glanced at the ring itself and then he looked up to her. ‘I have practised this part repeatedly tonight whilst you were still working… and now I am about to ask if you will wear this ring, I am finding that nervousness is becoming an obstacle…’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Kristen said, more tears meandering down her cheeks, ‘just ask me,’

‘Kristen. I love you. I have loved you for so long, it feels as though it has always been so. There is no pre-determined limit placed on my existence but I can readily assure you that for all the time I do exist, I will continue to love you with everything I am. I will always keep you safe and protect you. I will always be there for you. I will always give you all I can to ensure your happiness and contentment. You are kind and sweet and beautiful. You are the closest person to me in my life. You are someone I respect and appreciate and desire. There will never be anyone else but you. You are everything. That said… will you marry me?’

She sobbed quietly and then she gave him her left hand. ‘Of course I will,’ she said. 

Data put the ring on her finger. She saw that he was about to get to his feet again, but she stopped him by sinking down on the floor to where he was. ‘You will be my wife?’ he tested, ‘you are certain about this?’

Kristen threw her arms around him and he embraced her gladly. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I’ll be your wife. I’ll marry you. Oh God. Oh bloody hell…’

Data pulled back from her then and the unbridled joy on his face, in his eyes, was enough to make her laugh. She was laughing and crying at the same time then. ‘I asked Robert first,’ he told her, as she placed shaking hands on his shoulders to keep herself upright, ‘he consented for me to arrange this proposal and agreed to give you away at the ceremony. I also asked Geordi to be my best man. The Captain will conduct the ceremony and Riker-’

Kristen couldn’t focus on those specifics. She moved her hands to his neck and then she launched a kiss on him that had them both tip over onto the floor. 

_I’m going to be Mrs Kristen Harper-Soong…_

_This is by far the happiest day of my whole life…_


	11. A Departure

The following morning, within the sleep-lux shadows of their quarters, Data lay by Kristen’s side in their bed and watched her. She was facing him and still deep within a state of REM. Hair tousled and face peaceful, she was lost in a world of dreams and judging by the subtle smile that occasionally crossed her parts lips, those dreams were pleasurable. Data knew that he needed to wake her soon so that they could both get up and dressed for duty, but at that moment he couldn’t bear to disturb her. 

_Her eyes are so beautiful, even when they are closed. Her face is heart-shaped. I find her hair to be aesthetically pleasing. Her mouth is soft and sweet. She has thirty-seven freckles on her nose._

_Ah, dear Juliet. Why art thou yet so fair?_

Data too was in a state of deep peacefulness. Under the covers, he held her hand and now and then he would rub his thumb over the engagement ring she’d accepted, almost as though he had some unconscious need to check it was still there. 

The proposal, and the fact she’d said yes, was far better than any dream program his positronic brain was capable of forming. It was a dream, yes, but a dream come true. 

Also, he felt intense relief that the way he’d proposed, that journey of wistfulness and sweet nostalgia he’d taken Kristen on, had been the right choice. Originally, Data had designed a romantic holodeck program from them to share but following his discussion with Captain Riker, he’d altered the course of his planning entirely. He had thought carefully about his feelings for her and when he was greeted with a litany of beautiful memories, Data knew that those memories should be incorporated into his proposal. 

The roses he’d given her were to thank her for each of those memories, even the ones that were tinged with a note of sadness. They had shared sad times, just as they had shared times of unbelievable happiness. Together, they had experienced bliss and fear, danger and attraction, pain and pure, honest love. All of it was the backdrop to the formative months of their relationship and now? Now, they had decided to get married and so they had many years to enjoy each other in every way possible. 

He sighed contentedly, not even minding that she could never know how precious she was to him. He’d prove it to her throughout the years. He’d dedicate himself to their shared happiness. Forever.

Kristen stirred a little and her eyebrows furrowed. ‘If you ever steal my sandwich again… I’ll find you, Jean-Luc Picard… and I will _kill_ you…’ she murmured.

Data frowned at those sleep-drugged words and then he had to press his lips tightly together so that he wouldn’t start laughing.

‘And… if anyone asks you what a pancake is… just tell them you don’t know… because the grill isn’t working anyway… and it’s all your fault, Captain…’

Uncontrollable amusement rose up inside him then and Data laughed until Kristen started awake, her eyes wide as she sat up and pushed some long tendrils of hair back from her face. Sleepiness retreated from her instantly then and when she turned to look down at her him, she was wide awake but also completely confused. ‘Hmmmph…’

Data’s laughter faded, but he was still grinning as he put a hand to her arm and stroked her there reassuringly. ‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

‘What the bloody hell?’ she said, ‘I was having this crazy dream about myself and the Captain working together in some mess hall kitchen.’

Data nodded, still highly amused. ‘I could tell. You were talking in your sleep.’ 

Kristen rubbed her face to shake off the last of her tiredness and then she turned and snuggled back down by his side again. One of her hands settled on his chest and then she stroked it up to the side of his neck and then to his cheek. Amusement fading as his laughter had, Data shifted closer to her and then he wrapped his arms around her nakedness and turned them both so she was laid atop him. Kristen made a pleasured sound at that and then she settled herself into a comfortable position and gazed down at him with loving eyes.

‘I think I’m going to stay right here all day,’ she whispered.

‘That would be most agreeable… but we are both required on the bridge at 08:00 hours,’

‘I’ll tell the Captain we’re busy,’

‘I am not sure he would be appeased by that.’

Kristen giggled. ‘He owes me. He stole my sandwich.’

Data smiled at her and then he ran his hands down her back. She flexed languorously beneath that slow and tender touch and then she sighed and gave him a kiss. ‘Trust me when I say that I would far prefer to stay in bed with my fiancée all day, but we will arrive at Ayatune presently and I know that the Captain wants us prepared for the away mission,’ he said, when their mouths parted.

‘Fiancée,’ Kristen repeated, ‘mmm, I like that. Say it again?’

‘Fiancée,’ Data said, finding that he loved that word as much as she did, ‘you are my fiancée, Kristen.’

She kissed him once more and then she pushed herself upright. Sitting atop him like that, resplendently naked and blushing with happiness and desire, she was a vision of true beauty to Data at that moment. 

_She is perfect. I like her face, her breasts, her thighs…_

For a microsecond, he genuinely considered asking the Captain if they could be allowed to skip the away mission so that they could continue celebrating the first full day of their betrothal alone, but then reason cancelled out that thought. There was no chance they’d be allowed to stay on the ship. The Captain needed them. 

‘Don’t worry,’ she said, ‘I’m off to get dressed now. We’ll be on time to report.’

‘Unfortunately, we have no other option. Unless…’

She climbed off him and moved to get off the bed but before he could stop himself, Data took her wrist and then he pulled her back into his arms. ‘Oof,’ she said, as she landed back on top of him, ‘what are you-’

He kissed her then, knowing he was being firm and forward, but also sensing that Kristen wouldn’t mind just a few more minutes of intimacy before they rose. The kiss deepened and as it did so, she wove her fingers into his hair and sidled her hips with longing. 

Data ran his hands over the backs of her thighs and then he grasped her backside and gave it a squeeze. Kristen broke the kiss, but only so she could turn her head to another angle and then continue it. Her tongue was playful in his mouth and she teased him mercilessly, sometimes meeting his tongue with little licks and at other times denying him. 

He could hear that her heart rate had increased and when he inhaled the scent of her, pheromones blended in with that vanilla perfume she sometimes wore. She was a touch out of breath when the kiss broke and her pupils were dilated. She licked her lips and gave him a sultry smile.

Precise timing, digital timing, was one of Data’s fortes and as such he was able to calculate that if they were going to make love, they had roughly seven minutes and twenty-eight seconds to do so. Eager to start immediately, he moved to turn Kristen onto her back and then he settled himself atop her and moved her arms so that they were held above her head. 

She bit her lip then. The sight was too much. Data leaned down to bite that full underlip instead and she sighed with pleasure. ‘You know we haven’t got time for this,’ she whispered then, wrapping her legs around him.

‘I am designed to exceed human capacity in almost all regards,’ he replied.

Kristen laughed. ‘Yeah, I know all about that. I’m a lucky girl,’ 

‘I can please you within a limited time frame, if you will allow it?’

‘I don’t think I can ever say no to you, love. But go easy on me alright? I’m still a bit sore from last night and-’

‘I will be gentle,’ he replied, silencing her with another kiss.

*

The day ahead was long and difficult. The colonists on Ayatune were having a terrible time trying to settle in there and the natives, despite certain agreements that had been made, were causing more problems than solving them. 

Captain Picard understood exactly why he and his crew had been asked to intervene. Over the years, they’d been involved in more diplomatic missions than he cared to recall. He did not join in on the first away mission, Commander Data insisting that it wasn’t appropriate and especially so after he’d beamed down to Jethurn and contracted a nasty illness, and so he remained on the bridge as he waited for a report. 

When one came in, one that told him that his assistance was perhaps required after all, he was on his feet and heading to the transporter rooms as fast as he could.

The planet itself was hot and dry, but the colonists were trying to set up home at an area that had a reservoir close-by and so there was no need for aid in terraforming. No, the only issues at hand for this mission involved having to persuade the native Ayatunians that their interference was not needed, or necessary, and the best way to proceed would be to leave the colonists to their own devices. 

As soon as Picard entered the meeting, he could tell he had his work cut out for him. 

Counselor Harper looked flustered as she tried to get the two sides to calm down and listen to reason, Commander Worf was struggling to maintain patience as he helped her, Commander Data was trying to break up a vicious argument between the seniors of the colony and the head representatives of the Ayatunian council and LaForge was watching the whole scene with a sense of total defeat on his face.

‘Report, Commander,’ Picard said, as he came to his side.

‘Uh… it’s been like this for two hours. I’m pretty sure the only thing that would break this chaos up would be if one of us got a phaser rifle and shot a hole through the ceiling,’ LaForge replied.

‘I doubt that will be necessary.’ Picard moved to the centre of the room and clapped his hands. ‘Silence, everyone, please!’

Nobody even noticed he was there, or at least not at first. Eventually, Harper made eye contact with him and at that she raced over. ‘Captain, thank God you’re here! This is getting worse by the moment. The Ayatunian council have totally misinterpreted the agreement that was settled and they’re refusing to re-read it. If they would only do that, they’d see that they shouldn’t be here for more than basic formalities. They just won’t listen and nor will they go,’

‘It is their planet, Counselor. They do have some right to be here,’

‘I know, but…’

‘I can see you’re doing your best. Try not to worry.’ 

He nodded to her curtly and then he clapped his hands again. This time, there was a lessening in the absolute din of raised voices and a few people turned to look his way. An Ayatunian, identifiable by his vivid green skin and double-eyelids, came over. ‘Captain Picard?’ he said.

‘Indeed. What issue do we have at hand here? I trusted that when the Federation helped you to settle on the agreement, both sides were fully understood. How have we managed to descend into this madness?’

A colonist appeared then, soon joined by another. ‘They don’t want us to continue on with literally any of our own traditions,’ the first said. 

‘They want us to conform to their way of life completely! They won’t respect our religious rituals, our customs, anything at all,’ the other added.

Picard took those facts in. ‘Alright. I think it might be best that you return to the _Enterprise_ with us so that we can have this out somewhere neutral. Would that be acceptable?’

An Ayatunian woman stepped closer. ‘I think that’s wise. I cannot see any resolution as things are.’

Picard nodded. ‘Alright.’ He tapped his comm badge. ‘Ensign Rankine, please return the away team, the council elders and the head colonists on your mark.’

Shimmering blue light coalesced around those people then and they were beamed back to the ship.

* 

Exhausted, Counselor Harper felt as though she’d been blessed when her shift was over. She was almost dead on her feet. There was so no resolution on Ayatune, but tomorrow was a new day, she figured. She wanted to go straight home but before doing so, she knew she needed to head to her office and check on a few things. When in there, she ordered herself a strong coffee from the replicator and then she settled behind her desk and booted up her comm. 

Along with some correspondence from her patients, letting her know it was fine that she hadn’t been able to make their appointments that day and that the same would likely be said for tomorrow too, there was a few messages from other members of the crew who had specialised in psychology at the Academy. They wanted to let her know that they too had accepted their invitations to the child psychology conferences and…

_Oh, damn it. Since Data met me here last night, took me on that journey through the ship and then proposed to me, I forgot all about mentioning that I might be going away!_

Tired or not, Kristen knew that she needed to get this difficult conversation out of the way and without any further hesitation. If he agreed that she should go, then she also needed to accept her invitation immediately so her transport could be arranged. Time was running out. She’d be leaving the following evening if Data felt it was a good plan and so-

_There’s no time for this. I cannot believe I forgot!_

She rushed down her coffee and then she asked the computer to locate Commander Data. He was in a turbolift that was heading to deck nine and so she knew he was heading home. Kristen got up and got on her way immediately.

In their quarters, she found him putting his violin in its case, along with his bow and some rosin. He turned when he heard her come in and she gave him a tired, somewhat fraught smile. ‘Hey, handsome.’

He smiled back at her. ‘Hello, my beloved.’

_He’s never called me that before… oh, that feels so right._

_But now I’ve got to spoil it by bringing up this awkward subject…_

‘Is something the matter?’ Data asked, putting the case down and coming over to her, ‘are you feeling stressed following the events on Ayatune?’

‘Yes, but no. I am and... I’m not, because…’ she trailed off and took his hand. ‘Can we sit down and talk for a while?’

‘The violin concert starts in twenty minutes,’ he replied, unsure, ‘can this not be postponed?’

She shook her head. ‘No, it can’t.’

Data nodded then and guided her over to the sofa, where they sat together. She glanced at the burnt out candles and empty champagne glasses from the night before. Neither of them had had the chance to clear them away yet.

‘Kristen, what do you wish to talk about?’ he encouraged.

She looked to him and sighed. ‘I meant to bring this up with you last night but with everything that happened, it went clean out of my head. I was overwhelmed by you asking me to marry you and my mind blanked it out,’

‘Blanked what out?’

‘You’re not going to like this, but… basically, Starfleet Academy have invited myself and some other members of the psych staff to attend some lectures and assemblies on child psychology,’

‘Why would I not like that, Kristen? Child psychology is one of your keener interests. This is surely a positive turn of events that if observed will further your education and your career?’

The look in his eyes was so well-meaning and sweet. Kristen sighed again. ‘Data… if I go, I’ll be picked up tomorrow and I won’t be back on the _Enterprise_ for a month. There are four whole weeks of conferences and if I’m to see it all through, I’ll need to be there until the end.’

He tilted his head. ‘Ah.’

‘Yes…’

‘The timing of this is most unfortunate. I now understand why you anticipated that I might not like the suggestion.’

Kristen moved closer to him and took his other hand too. ‘If you don’t want me to be gone for all that time, then I’ll decline the invitation. It’s alright.’

Data took that in. ‘To ask you to do that, purely because I would miss you whilst you were absent from me, would be selfish,’

‘Well, not really… we only got engaged last night…’

‘I believe that it would be extremely selfish to ask you to remain,’ Data insisted, ‘and I want the best for you. To ask you to deny career opportunities would be putting my happiness before your own. I will not allow that.’

_Can’t fool the person who loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone else._

Kristen squeezed his hands. ‘This is really difficult for me,’ she told him, ‘I want nothing more than to stay here with you. I’ll miss you like crazy. Four weeks is a long time when you’re used to being with someone every day,’

‘Agreed. It will be a most distracting and difficult period of time.’ Data let go of her hands then and pulled her gently, slowly into his arms. ‘But you will return to me and to our home and when you do, we can continue with our relationship. We can organise a celebration in TenForward for our engagement and then we can begin to plan our wedding. In fact, I believe that if I concentrate on those factors whilst we are apart, it will surely help the inevitable loneliness and longing for you I will feel.’

His words were soothing her already. Kristen embraced him tightly and then she looked up into those amber eyes she loved so much. ‘Also, we can keep in touch. We can send messages, stuff like that. You can let me know how you’re doing and how Spot’s doing and I can bore you with what I’m learning back on earth,’

‘That much could never bore me,’ he replied, ‘as long as we are in steady communication, it will not matter to me what we are discussing, just as long as we are conversing at all.’

Kristen smiled at him. ‘I’m going to miss you so much,’ she said.

Data nuzzled the side of her face, kissed her there and then moved back so he could look at her. His expression was sad but when he spoke there was optimism in his tone. ‘It will be alright, Kristen,’ he told her, ‘you will be distracted by study and I will be distracted by my duties here. In no time, you will be here once more and then all will be well.’

She let that optimism sink into her. ‘You’re right… and now we should get on our way or you’ll be late for your concert.’

With a nod, Data stood and then went to fetch the violin case. Once he had it, he offered Kristen a hand and so she went to him and they left their quarters.

‘What will you play tonight?’ she asked him.

‘Chopin’s trio in G minor,’ Data replied, ‘I have performed this piece in concert before but as it proved to be favourable last time, I decided a repeat would be acceptable.’

They moved down the corridor and were soon in a turbolift. As there was no-one else in there, Kristen came to stand directly in front of him and put her arms around his middle. ‘I’m sure it’ll be beautiful but can we come straight home afterwards?’ she asked, ‘I want to spend every last moment I have on this ship alone with you.’

He rested an arm around her and gave her a meaningful smile. ‘I would appreciate that too,’ he told her, before giving her a kiss.

Kristen was appeased by then. She even allowed herself to feel a little bit of excitement about the conferences and about being able to enhance her credentials. The Captain had been supportive, Data had been wonderful too and though she would definitely feel an ache at being apart from him for four whole weeks, she knew that time would pass and that she’d be back home before she knew it. 

At TenForward, she wished Data good luck and then as he went to the stage with his violin, she went to take a seat in the audience between Doctor Crusher and Commander LaForge.

The musicians on the stage bowed and there was some light applause. 

‘Thank you,’ Data said, ‘and if I may, I would like to dedicate tonight’s performance to Counselor Kristen Harper. I proposed marriage to her last night and she accepted. This concert is honour of that.’

As the applause started up again and many friendly and congratulatory looks were shot her way, Kristen felt herself blush. She returned those smiles and accepted the smattering of kind words that were given by those seated around her. Then she looked to Data and saw him give her a small smile before he took his place with the others.

*

There was a briefing the following morning in the observation lounge. It was decided that the Captain would return to Ayatune with a different selection of away team members and whilst they were hard at work trying to bring about peace between the natives and the colonists there, Data would take the ship through to drop Harper and the others off at Deep Space 9. As soon as her liaising transport had picked them up, he would then bring the ship back to Ayatune and join the Captain on the planet.

_Following that, there will be four weeks without her,_ Data thought to himself, as the meeting was ended. 

He waited for the Captain to speak briefly to Harper and then when he’d wished her luck with her studies and told her she was dismissed so she could go and pack her things, the two of them watched her get on her way. Captain Picard came over to him and together they headed to the transporter room.

‘I trust that you’ll be joining the away team within a matter of hours,’ Picard said, ‘but in the meantime, I’m sure you’ll have a great deal of feelings to work through, Number One.’

Data looked to his superior. ‘I will face those issues when I am off-duty, Sir. I am aware of the importance of our current mission and how vital it is that we bring it to resolution.’

Picard smiled a little. ‘Your professionalism is not in doubt. I’m just acknowledging that the coming month won’t be an easy period of time for you.’

They entered a turbolift together and when it began to move, Data released a soft sigh. ‘I am going to miss Kristen a great deal,’ he admitted, ‘it will not be the same without her here,’

‘Yes, agreed. I still haven’t congratulated you on your engagement, Data. I hope you know how happy I am for you.’

Data tilted his head. ‘Thank you, Sir. Your support means a great deal, as does the fact you have agreed to conduct the ceremony. I could not have asked anyone else. Both of us want you to be the one to bring us together in the union of marriage.’

Picard nodded to him. ‘It’s an honour. We need to attend the Riker-Troi weddings first, however, both on earth and on Betazed. As soon as we’ve enjoyed those celebrations, we can turn our attention to planning the kind of ceremony you and Lieutenant Harper would like to have. Are you sure you want it to be held on the ship?’

‘Yes, I believe so, Sir. This is where Kristen and I met. It is our home,’ Data replied.

‘Then that’s how it shall be. What will you do with your time whilst she is studying at the Academy?’

‘I believe that I will start to oversee nightwatch each night again,’ Data said, ‘I would not like to be in our quarters for a protracted amount of time without her there. When I am off-duty, I will likely try to spend time with Geordi, when he is not busy. I will also paint and continue to improve on my musical skills. My appreciation of the arts is ongoing and will likely provide some amusement whilst Kristen is absent,’

‘Well, if you ever need a distraction and we are both off-duty at the same time, we can go to the holodeck and put some more work into your development as an actor,’ the Captain suggested, ‘it’s been quite some time since we explored the works of the Bard together.’

That wasn’t a bad idea at all. ‘Thank you,’ Data said, ‘that would be most welcome.’

The others from the away team were waiting and so as soon as he and the Captain entered the transporter room, they moved up the steps and got into position. Picard nodded to Data, the gesture was returned, and then the group was beamed down to Ayatune. 

Data left the room and then contacted the bridge. ‘Please take us to Deep Space 9 at warp eight,’ he commanded.

‘Aye Sir,’ Worf replied.

All Data needed to do now was go to his quarters and help Kristen pack. The eventuality was not one he’d been looking forward to at all, but he wanted to help her all the same. It was the right thing to do. She was still working on filling her case when he walked into the room, but was also trying to reason with Spot so that the cat would stop trying to climb into the case, curl up into a ball and fall asleep. 

‘As much as I’d like to take you with me, you’ve got to stay here,’ Kristen was saying, as she lifted Spot into her arms, ‘I’ll miss you, you little furrball, but you’ve got to let me pack.’

Data watched this scene in silence for a while. 

He couldn’t help but think of times since they’d returned from shore leave where he’d considered what might happen if he lost her. Of course, he wasn’t about to lose her in a literal sense for she was only taking an educational sabbatical, but it still brought to mind that sense of worry he’d experienced before. What if something went wrong and she didn’t return? What if she grew comfortable in being back on earth again? It was her home planet, after all. What if she grew distant from their relationship? 

What if she met someone else? Someone human. Someone who could give her children…

Kristen cooed over Spot a little more and then she turned, seeing him standing there. ‘Oh, you’re here,’ she said, with a smile, ‘I’m not quite ready yet. This little girl won’t let me pack,’

‘Perhaps I should do the same,’ he said, instantly regretting those words.

Confused, Kristen put Spot down and then came over to him. ‘Have you changed your mind?’ she asked, ‘do you want me to cancel my trip?’

‘No… but I am conflicted over you leaving,’ he admitted, ‘and I should not be telling you that. If I was a good person, I would be helpful and not thinking of myself,’

‘Data…’ She took his hands and squeezed them reassuringly. ‘It’s okay for you to feel sad. Being sad about this doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s completely normal and I’m conflicted too. Part of me wants to cancel the whole thing right now so I can stay with you, but… I really do want to attend these assemblies,’

‘I know. Child psychology has become very important to you. I apologise for being negative,’

‘I’d rather you be reluctant to let me go than be eager to kick me off the ship,’ she said, with a smile that was slightly playful now.

The comic relief was not lost on Data, but he remained concerned. ‘May I ask you something?’

Kristen pulled him over to the bed and they sat down next to her case. Spot was in there again and asleep atop a pile of her casual clothes. ‘You can ask me anything,’ she told him.

‘I want to ask that you will promise me that you will return,’ he said, with a serious look.

She watched him for a moment. ‘Why would you even consider that I might not come back?’

‘Because… distance can make the heart grow fonder… or it can come between people,’ he said.

‘In this case, it will make the heart fonder and fonder still,’ she assured, ‘there is nothing in this universe that would stop me coming back to you, Data. We’re engaged. We’re going to get married. Whilst I’m away, I’ll be thinking of that and of you constantly. Please, please don’t worry. I love you.’

He saw the determination in her eyes and it did make him feel slightly better. ‘I love you too…’

‘Are you worried because of what I said before about long-distance relationships?’ she asked, obviously referring to the time she had been posted to the _USS Galatea_ , ‘because if you are, I surely proved to you then that you mean more to me than my career ever could.’

Data weaved his fingers between hers, looking down at their conjoined hands for a while. ‘No,’ he replied, eventually, ‘it is not that. It is more that I have an odd sense of foreboding about your departure. I have worried for some time that I might lose you and now that you are going to be in a different sector of the galaxy from me for four weeks, I find that…’ he trailed off and then he shook his head at himself and faced her. ‘I am doing it again; thinking of myself instead of you. I should be more positive. Last night, I was positive. I will endeavour to be more helpful.’

Kristen smiled at him, leaned forward and gave him a kiss. ‘Look at me,’ she said, when she pulled back a little.

Data looked into her eyes.

‘I’m going to be away from you for a while, yes, but I will be in touch. We’ll send messages all the time. We’ll both work hard in the interim and then I’ll be back and all of this will be a memory instead of an obstacle. I am going to come back to you. Nothing will go wrong. I’ll come back one month from now and then you’ll see for yourself that everything is okay. Alright, love?’

He inclined his head in a subtle nod. ‘Yes.’

‘Good.’ She kissed him again and then let go of his hands so she could stand up and lift Spot out of her case again. She handed the cat over and Data took her into his arms, holding onto her whilst Kristen once again began to fold her clothes and pack her psychology books.

An hour later and she was done. With perfect timing, Worf got in touch to say that they had reached Deep Space 9. 

‘Acknowledged, Commander,’ Data said, tapping his comm badge and standing up.

‘Do you want to walk me to the transporter room or would it be easier for you to go straight to the bridge?’ Kristen asked. She was in casual clothes – black trousers and a matching, fitted top, and her long hair was loose around her shoulders. 

Data looked her over, memorising instantly every minute detail of her appearance at that moment and then his gaze reached hers. ‘I will accompany you,’ he said, ‘and I will carry your case.’

The journey to the transporter room was difficult for him and so he said little; letting Kristen carry their conversation instead. She continued to say uplifting, positive things right up until they reached their destination and at that, he had her pause at the doors. Kristen asked him to put her case down and as soon as he complied, she launched herself into his arms and held him very tightly. Data knew why that was – Kristen was feeling everything that he was feeling. She maybe wasn’t worried about what distance might do to them, but she was definitely sad and not ready to let him go.

Data held onto her for a long time, his eyes shut as he tried to regain some composure. He wasn’t sure why, but everything about this felt wrong. So wrong. Putting that trepidation down to selfishness again, he pushed those feelings deep down inside himself and then he put his hands to her face and held her there. Kristen had tears in her eyes but she was also smiling. It struck him as odd until he realised that her mood was caught between reluctance and dedication to her work. He brushed his lips over hers a few times and when she returned the gesture, she sighed in a heartfelt way.

‘I love you,’ she whispered, ‘I love you so very much. Just focus on that truth whenever you get worried, okay?’

Data nodded. ‘I will try. I love you also. Please stay in touch with me. Please keep me informed as to your wellbeing,’

‘As often as I can,’ Kristen replied. 

Some of the other psych staff arrived then and so Data let go of her. He picked up her case, nodded to the other officers, and then followed everyone into the room. Kristen took her case from him, gave him one last kiss that lingered several seconds longer than it maybe should have, and then she left him to go and stand on the transporter pad with the others.

‘Co-ordinates are locked in, Sir,’ Ensign Rankine said.

Data nodded distantly and then looked to Kristen. She gave him a brave smile. 

‘Energise,’ Data said, unable to smile back.

And then she shimmered out of his life, at least for now, in a column of blue light.

‘Farewell, my beloved,’ Data whispered.


	12. Into The Ether

_And to a place I come where nothing shines – Dante Alighieri_

Lieutenants Yates, Jijesh and Harper arrived on Deep Space 9 alongside Ensigns Sarrott and Jones and instantly fell into step with one another as they headed to the shuttle bay. Harper wasn’t sure where it was but as the others had visited the station before in the past and seemed to have an idea, she moved them without hesitation. 

She couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Data’s face just a few moments ago. Part of her wanted to beam straight back to the ship, but she knew that much would only make her look like an indecisive fool and so she joined in with the polite conversation being shared around her and even managed to smile on occasion.

They stopped at a food kiosk on the way and when everyone had rushed down a snack, they continued on to the shuttle bay. Harper’s case was heavy, much like her heart. In a way, she was looking forward to the child psychology conferences more than ever because they would surely be the one distraction she could rely on whilst she was gone from the _Enterprise_. But also she was heartsick with need for her partner.

_To say I’ve got it bad for him would be pointless. I was with him a matter of minutes ago and already I feel like I’m missing a limb. This month had better go by quickly…_

At the correct shuttle, they waited until it was time to board and then they filed in, one at a time. Whoever was piloting the shuttle threw a verbal greeting at them but Kristen heard it only distantly due to her emotional distractions. She looked at the back of the pilot’s head, seeing dark hair that she thought she vaguely recognised, but then she shook herself out of that pattern of thought and turned her attention to sending a message to Data. She used her PADD to tell him that all was well, that she’d boarded the shuttle and that she was missing him already. 

He didn’t reply but she knew why that was – he’d be on the bridge and wouldn’t get to check his personal correspondence until much later.

The journey began. Her fellow officers were excitable, not only about the conferences but also about being on earth for a time. Ensign Jones was hoping to meet up with some of her family and Lieutenant Jijesh had friends at the Academy he was hoping to see. Harper would contact her brother, sister-in-law and niece whilst she was back on her home planet, but otherwise she knew she’d keep her nose in books and her mind on education. 

Her heart was still on the _Enterprise_ , where Data was, and she knew she wouldn’t feel whole again until they were reunited.

‘Ah, I can’t wait to feel real sunshine on my face again,’ Yates said, stretching out in his seat.

‘We haven’t been back from shore leave for all that long,’ Sarrott replied, with a laugh.

‘I know, I know, but I miss it. I can’t wait to breath in real fresh air and feel grass and earth under my feet,’ Yates countered.

‘If you’re so keen on being grounded then why the hell do you work in space?’ Jijesh asked.

‘You tell me. You’re meant to be a psych major,’ Yates laughed.

‘So are you!’ Jijesh shot back, highly amused.

Harper smiled. ‘You won’t miss the _Enterprise_?’ she asked.

‘I will,’ Jones said, ‘but I’ve missed my family too. I don’t know. The grass is always greener, as they say. When I’m on the ship I miss my parents but when I’m at home I miss being at work.’

The conversation continued on, even though the humour turned into more serious discourse about the psychology conferences as time spanned out. It took an hour or so for Harper to realise that the shuttle wasn’t heading to earth after all. They were not getting anywhere close to the Terran system, in fact. They seemed to be heading deeper and deeper into black space.

‘Pilot,’ she said, getting to her feet, ‘where are we going?’

Her question fell on deaf ears.

Ensign Sarrott was debating something the others were saying but when she looked to Harper, her argument trailed off and then she frowned. ‘What is it, Counselor?’ she asked, ‘are you okay?’

‘We’re not going to earth and the pilot is ignoring me,’ Harper said, keeping her voice low.

Lieutenant Yates heard that much. ‘Hey,’ he said, turning to the front of the shuttle, ‘I think you’re running a little off-course there, my friend. Are you taking us on a joy ride or something?’

‘Hardly,’ was the glib response.

Harper recognised that voice but also couldn’t place it. Getting to her feet, she exchanged a look with Yates and then she started to move towards the pilot. Just as she got to the helm, he stood up and grabbed his phaser at the exact same moment. Harper’s blood ran cold and she drew in a gasp of shock. Those eyes. That face. That self-assured disposition.

_No… it can’t be… not after all this time…_

‘Hey Krissy,’ Lieutenant Ryan Soshi said, ‘it’s been too long. Have you missed me?’

She stared at him, completely at a loss for words.

‘Cat got your tongue?’

‘Wh… what do you think you’re doing? We’re supposed to be heading to earth…’

She heard the others get up and start to protest this utter madness then but Soshi moved so quickly that it bordered on unreal. He shot down Yates and Jones first and then he shot Sarrott and Jijesh. Their bodies hit the floor hard, not dead but definitely stunned into unconsciousness. 

Soshi turned the phaser on Harper then and gave her one of those cold and cocky smiles she remembered from when they’d been together. ‘And then there were two…’

‘Soshi,’ she said, lifting her hands in surrender, ‘I don’t know what this is about but-’

‘Shut your mouth,’ he warned, ‘or I’ll shoot you too,’ 

‘Why are you doing this?’

‘ _Shut up,_ ’

‘Soshi-’

‘This journey can either be peaceful for you, if you behave yourself, or you can go down like your friends. It’s all the same to me.’

Thinking fast, Harper moved to tap her comm badge, but before she had the chance to contact anyone, either at the space station or on the _Enterprise_ , Soshi fired his phaser at her too.

Everything went dark.

*

_That was one crazy dream. Or maybe it was a nightmare. It would surely be better described as a nightmare because nowadays Soshi only lives in the darker places of my mind._

_Any moment now I’m going to open my eyes and I’m going to ask Data to hold me because no-one comforts me better than he does when I’ve had a bad dream. Yes, I’ll open my eyes soon and I’ll be in our bed with him and he’ll take care of me and then everything will be fine. I’ll go about my counselling sessions and then I might go and visit the ship’s school so I can check in with Victoria, Eisnon, Alloma and Mrs Ernorr._

But when Kristen’s eyelids fluttered open, she was not in bed and not on her ship or anywhere else she felt familiar with. This room she was in was pitch-dark and smelt musty, like old parchment that had been left out in the rain. Her head was throbbing with an almighty ache and her mouth and throat were as dry as bone. Worse still, her hands were bound behind her back and her ankles were bound too. 

_Where am I?_

She heard some muted conversation in the background but the specific direction or proximity of those voices was lost on her. 

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m going, I’m going. You don’t need to warn me to keep my mouth shut about this. If I said anything, it would hardly do me any favours, would it? I might play with women’s hearts but I don’t go back on a business agreement. You’ll see. I’ll keep to my side of the bargain, just as you have kept to yours.’ That was Soshi.

‘You will remember to do the rest of what we arranged?’ a woman asked. Another familiar voice… but different now. Hoarse, as though touched by pain.

‘Don’t worry,’ Soshi drawled, ‘I’ve got it all figured out. Just make sure you keep those latinum payments coming and you’ll get no trouble from me,’

‘Fine. You can leave now. You’ll get the rest of your payment when we know for sure that you weren’t followed and it will be generous indeed,’

‘It’s appreciated. Goodbye then,’

‘Yes. Leave. Now.’

Kristen felt her heart in her mouth. She tried to find the others in the gloom but it was just too dark. When she tried to speak, she realised why her mouth was so dry – it was stuffed with a rag and then another piece of fabric had been tied tightly around it. 

There was silence for a very long time and in the midst of her terror that silence was deafening. All she could hear was her own heartbeat and then, eventually, the sounds of someone close by shuffling as they regained consciousness. There was a muffled moan, probably an attempt at a cry for help, and then silence prevailed again for an immeasurable amount of time.

It went on and on. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. 

Kristen managed to sit upright and then she pressed her back to the wall behind her.

_All I know is that Soshi has kidnapped us and taken us somewhere. I have literally no idea where it could be but judging from what I just heard, it’s not going to be good. It’s not going to be good for the others and nor is it going to be good for me. What has Soshi done? Who was he talking to?_

A door opened and though there was a slant of blinding light, Kristen couldn’t make out who came in. They made odd sounds as they crossed the room; as though they were limping or shuffling, as though they couldn’t walk properly. Hands grabbed her and she would have yelped in shock, had she been able to vocalise that feeling. She was brought to her knees and then her head was grasped between two strong hands and tilted back. 

_Say something. Who are you? What do you want?_

How this person could examine her face so carefully in such complete darkness was a mystery but when they were satisfied with whatever they were looking for, she was thrown down to the floor with a bone-rattling thud. 

Dizziness swirled in Kristen’s head and then, once again, she blacked out.

*

Daylight scored in through the windows and motes of dust danced within them. 

Kristen forced her eyelids open and this time she had fear in her heart instead of a wondering if she was dreaming as she accustomed herself to wakefulness. There was no way that this was a dream; even a very bad one. This situation was as real as the pain in her head and the binds that kept her from being able to move. 

She was in what seemed to be a storage area. Shelves surrounded the room and were stocked with endless amounts of books. Crystals acted as book-ends and there were also antique ornaments and a box nearby on the floor that had overturned its contents – plastic toy dinosaurs.

_This is crazy. This cannot be real… but I know that it is._

Squinting and sore, she turned her head and looked for the others. Lieutenants Yates and Jijesh were there and so was Ensign Jones, but Sarrott was gone. Frightened by that and totally uncomprehending on what someone would want with a junior Starfleet officer and yet also assuming that the intent must surely be insidious given these horrific circumstances, she lay still on the floor and tried to slow down her breathing.

Yates turned over where he lay, bound and gagged like she was, and their eyes connected. His expression was taut and his face was pale. He asked her a question with a lifting of his sandy eyebrows and Kristen mirrored that; not knowing what to think or how to convey to him that she too was scared and shared his fear. 

Jones and Jijesh also woke up and when they did, they looked even more terrified than Yates. They were doubled over on the floor and though they tried to upright themselves, it seemed that they’d been beaten or injured in some way because they were in too much pain to put any exertion into moving.

Kristen wished she was an Empath at that moment, so she could will her colleagues to be calm and not lose themselves already. She wished she could offer them some soothing thoughts or words so that they were assured that the four of them were in this together, but she couldn’t share either of those things.

_Where the hell is Ensign Sarrott? I don’t even know her all that well but I hope she’s alright. I hope she isn’t injured. I hope she’s still alive._

Just like the night before, a long period of time extended itself and there was no way to measure it. There were no clocks in the room and even if this place had an internal computer system, Kristen couldn’t ask it for the time or to help her know how long they’d all been there. 

All she could do was lie on that hard floor and either stare into space or at the faces of her colleagues. Jones seemed to lapse back into unconsciousness eventually but Jijesh and Yates remained hyper-aware and terrified. They tried to pull off the bondage that secured their wrists and ankles, but it proved to be impossible. All of them were prisoners and for the time being, all they could do was wait to see who was keeping them here and what their intentions were.

The sunlight outside brightened even moreso and then, as time went on, it dimmed slightly. Kristen ached for some water. It was hard to swallow but even when she managed it, her throat was as dry as the dust that covered everything in the room. Her eyes burned with it also but strangely, despite her discomfort and fear, she didn’t feel as though she wanted to or even needed to cry. 

Thoughts of Data began to flit in and out of her mind. She remembered his misgivings about her leaving his side and wondered if he’d evolved to such an extent that he was capable of bearing some sort of sixth sense. She wondered if he’d intuited somehow that she was going to be hurt and held prisoner like this. But how could he have known that something like this would happen? He’d been worried about the distance between them, not about Soshi kidnapping her and bringing her to some dusty cell. He could never have known that she’d be stunned by a phaser, tied up and gagged. 

_Data… I need you… I need you to come and save us. I don’t know where I am or who is holding me here, but I need you to use that whip-smart positronic brain of yours and figure this out._

_You’ve got to look into this and realise that I’m not at Starfleet Academy. Try to find me. Try to find us. Come and rescue us. Please._

*

The sunlight dimmed even moreso and then the room grew large with shadows. Kristen lay on her back, watching those shadows as they stretched across the ceiling. 

Her thirst was at such an extent that she was starting to feel extremely disorientated and also, the pain in her head had worsened. Lying on her left side was impossible due to that being where the pain was localised and so being on her back was the closest thing to comfort she had found. She concentrated on her breathing, almost in a meditate state. She knew all about taking deep breaths when panicked and how it was supposed to help. Yes, it was _supposed_ to help. It wasn’t helping at all actually, but she was trying her hardest to keep it together.

The room grew darker and darker and then, when the shadows swallowed the room, it once again became as black as pitch. 

As Kristen lay there, she felt something tickling at her forehead. Ignoring it, she took another deep breath and then released it very slowly, counting to ten as she did so. But then the tickling moved and started to itch. She realised that an insect or a spider had crawled onto her face and so she lifted her bound wrists and used them to flick away whatever was tormenting her. There was no relief to follow. Instead, her discomfort and terror had grown.

_I’m going to die of thirst… covered with spiders…_

A great coughing and spluttering broke the endless silence then and she realised that Yates had managed to loosen his gag and then pull it off. He swore and then he coughed again. ‘This is too much… are you all alright? Can you all hear me?’

There was a shuffling sound and she realised he’d managed to get to her side. Kristen turned so she was facing him, but because of the blackness there was no way to know how close he was to her. 

‘Counselor, are you alright?’ He sighed then. ‘Sorry… I know you can’t answer me… stay still whilst I try to sit up. I’ll try to get my hands free and then I can try and untie you and the others. Keep still, Harper. It’s going to be okay and-’

Suddenly, the door to the room opened. The same bright light from the night before cut through the darkness like a rapier and Kristen screwed her eyes up. 

‘I thought I heard voices,’ a woman’s voice said, ‘which one of you has taken your gag off?’

Footsteps. 

‘You. Why did you take your gag off?’

_Smack. Smack. Thud._

‘Arghhh… oh God, please don’t…’

‘You will obey us or you will be punished. If you don’t understand that, I’d be happy to show you what we’re capable of.’

Yates groaned in pain and then Kristen forced her eyes open so she could watch a pair of feminine hands stuffing a rag back into the Lieutenant’s mouth. Yates tried to put up a fight but because he was bound, exhausted and dehydrated, there was little he could do as his gag was once again secured around his head. The woman slapped him across the face several times.

All the time this was occurring, Kristen’s ability to see was improving as her eyes got used to the light from beyond the doorway. She looked up and saw that the woman was in one hell of a state. Some of her blonde hair had been shaved off and it looked as though she had implants of an artificial nature attached or imbedded in her skull. It was extremely unsettling. Her arms were bruised and though she was dressed in a outfit of worn, brown fabric, the clothing was torn and has dark spatters of dried blood all over it. 

The woman stood up and then she went to check that Jones and Jijesh were still bound and gagged. As soon as she was satisfied, she came to kneel down at Kristen’s side. Kristen stared up at her captor as she hovered overhead and as she could see even more bizarre differences to her physical appearance, alterations that defied belief or description, realisation sank into her and she recognised who this woman was.

_Ria._

Eyes wide with shock, Kristen stared and stared.

‘Hello, Lieutenant Harper,’ Ria said, with a cruel grin that showed she was missing several of her front teeth, ‘it’s been a while. I’d ask how you are but that would be pointless, would it not? We both know you’re terrified. As well you should be.’

Kristen felt her heart in her mouth again. If she was with Ria, then she knew which exact planet she’d be taken to. Terlina III. She and her colleagues on the _Enterprise_ had delivered Ria here and this was where they had left her – with the buried body of Data’s brother Lore.

_Lore…_

_Oh God, no. This isn’t possible. He was deactivated and disassembled. He was buried six feet underground and he had a headstone placed over his grave. This cannot be happening. This cannot be real._

‘I can imagine what you must be thinking,’ Ria continued, bright lights of red and green flashing all about the wiring on the right side of her head, ‘you must be thinking that you’re having a terrible dream and that soon you’re going to wake up and be back on your ship. But you’re wrong, Kristen. You’re very much awake and no-one and nothing can help you now. You’re going to pay for what you did to him. You’re going to get a taste of justice for what you did to my love. You’re going to suffer and it’s never going to end because we’re not going to kill you, no. We’re going to _play_ with you. It’s going to be such fun.’

Kristen bit down on her gag, trying to muffle a scream she had no chance of releasing. 

‘Shush now, Lieutenant. Be brave. What would Data want you to do? He’d want you to be brave, wouldn’t he? Now, get some sleep because everything is going to change for you and your friends when we awaken you tomorrow. You’re going to need as much rest as your weak little body can get. Get some rest. Mind the spiders, though. They’re huge in here and they bite.’

Ria stood up then and left the room, slamming the door in her wake.

_Terlina III. Lore. Data’s evil twin brother, Lore. He experimented on those rogue Borg and now clearly he’s been experimenting on Ria too, judging by those hellish implants. If he’s going to experiment on her, the woman he loves or loved, then I’m next. Clearly, Sarrott is already being tortured. That’s why she’s not here. Myself, Jones, Yates and Jijesh… they’re going to do things to us next…_

_Unspeakable, horrendous things…_

*

On the _Enterprise_ , Commander Data left his quarters and headed down the corridor. As he moved, he asked the computer to locate Commander LaForge. When he was told that his friend was on the holodeck with Caroline O’Reilly and they had only been there for twenty minutes, he slowed down and then came to a halt. His plan had been to visit with his friend to try and pass some time but as he was clearly on a date with his girlfriend, he knew he shouldn’t bother him. Geordi deserved to be happy with Caroline, not to be brought down by the mood Data was in.

Perturbed, he wondered if he should turn around and go back to his quarters but then found that he really didn’t want to. 

There were dozens of happy memories held in those personal rooms but when Kristen wasn’t there, their potency was remarkably reduced and almost painful to contemplate. In fact, the presence of some of her belongings and the memories they resulted in had only proved to make him feel incredibly sorry for himself since she’d departed from the ship. Data was not content to acknowledge that he was experiencing self-pity for it made him feel selfish as well as lonesome. 

He started to walk down the corridor again, wondering where he should go.

There were many places he could visit and other friends or colleagues he could check in with for a while, but none of them were appealing. He did consider going to a different holodeck suite, asking the computer to conjure up an interactive image of Kristen so that he could at least pretend they were together again, but then he dismissed the idea as completely masochistic. 

She’d been gone for less than 48 hours and already he was having trouble coping. It really was a hopeless situation.

Data entered a turbolift and then he asked to be taken to TenForward. Guinan was someone worth visiting with, he decided. She was subtle of nature and yet generous with her time and words. She might not be able to say anything that would take away the hole in his heart, but he felt her company would be welcome all the same. 

When he was at the ship’s bar, he headed inside immediately and then when he laid eyes upon Guinan, he saw that she was sitting at a table with the Captain. Just like when realising that Geordi was busy with a personal matter, Data decided that he should leave them alone but the Captain turned and caught his eye. Then he beckoned him over.

Data approached them and they greeted him with warm smiles. ‘Number One,’ Picard said, ‘we were just talking about you. Why don’t you sit down and join us for a while?’

‘I would not be interrupting?’ Data tested.

‘Of course not,’ Guinan encouraged, ‘please take a seat.’

He did so, resting his hands on the table top.

‘How are you doing?’ Guinan asked.

‘I am fine,’ Data replied, with a light frown.

Picard took a sip of his wine and then gave him an unconvinced smile. ‘Guinan and I have known you for many years, Mister Data, and as such you should know that you cannot fool either one of us when it comes to your distractions. What’s truly on your mind? Be honest.’

‘Kristen is on my mind,’ Data said, ‘and so is that she is gone from the ship. I believe that the remaining month that she is away is going to be extremely difficult. I am struggling already in knowing how to observe my off-duty time without her. I had planned to work on our engagement party and to plan our wedding for when she returns but I find now that I cannot. I need her to be here with me so we can organise those times together. I cannot proceed with such important matters without her opinions.’

Guinan gave him a sympathetic smile. ‘Has she been in touch since she left?’

‘Yes. She sent me a message from her transport shuttle to let me know she is okay and that all is going as she expected,’

‘And that hasn’t helped?’

‘It did when I first received that contact… but I replied last night and she still has not responded,’

‘I believe that she will be terribly busy during her first few days back at the Academy,’ Picard said, ‘please try not to worry, Data. Harper will be in touch with you as often as she can be. You must be aware that she’ll be missing you as much as you’re missing her?’

Data tilted his head. ‘I… hope that she will be…’

Guinan patted his hand in a soothing manner. ‘These are new experiences for you,’ she said, ‘and before you interrupt and remind me that you’ve been involved with Kristen for a long time and that you’ve had your emotion chip for an even longer time, let me assure you that I understand that and I know you’re not a novice these days when it comes to human feelings. What I mean to say is that this is the first real period of time that you and Kris have been separated. It’s bound to be difficult. My third husband and I were apart once for several months and I wasn’t sure how I’d survive. I felt as though I’d lost a vital part of myself. Food stopped tasting right. I forgot to brush my teeth. But when he came back, all was right with the world. The same will happen for you. You’ve just got to be patient.’

Data nodded. ‘I am trying to be. I am also attempting to distract myself… though it is not proving to be of much use.’

Picard sipped some more wine and then gazed down into his glass. ‘The early days of this period for you will be the hardest. Over time, you will feel better. She will correspond with you and it will put your mind at rest,’ he said.

‘Yes Sir,’ Data replied, ‘I hope that my distraction has not affected my attention to duty,’

‘Not at all,’ Picard said, ‘if anything, you’ve been very focused.’

Data was about to say thank you for that but then he received an internal alert. That morning, he had arranged for a signal to be sent to him whenever he received a personal message and now that he’d been made aware that one was waiting for him back in his quarters, he stood up immediately.

‘What’s wrong?’ Guinan asked, looking up at him.

‘I have received a message. If you do not mind, I would like to go and check if it is from Kristen,’ he replied, impatient already to get on his way.

‘Go, Mister Data,’ Picard said, nodding to him, ‘but make sure you attend nightwatch when you’re done,’

‘Yes Sir, thank you,’ he replied. 

Data looked to Guinan too, prepared to thank her also for her support, but she just smiled at him in a way he recognised as it not being necessary to do so and so he returned that smile and then got out of TenForward as quickly as he possibly could. His mind raced as he strode down the corridor and the journey in the turbolift bordered on painful, or at least emotionally so.

He entered his quarters, stepped over Spot as she tried to wind herself around his ankles and then bent to pick her up, carrying her with him. The ‘Incoming Message’ alert on his personal workstation screen was flashing when he reached it and so he sat down, let Spot jump from his arms to the console top and then he read the words he’d been aching to read.

_Incoming personal message_  
To : Commander Data, First Officer, USS Enterprise E  
From : Lieutenant Kristen Harper, USS Enterprise E/Starfleet Academy 

_Hello, love._  
I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to reply. You wouldn’t believe how busy I’ve been since the shuttle landed. I had to meet my professors and lecturers first and then there was a lunch so everyone else could meet and get to know each other. After that, I was given personal rooms and after unpacking, I fell asleep and since then, it’s all been a blur.  
I’m not sure how often I’ll be able to write because every single day ahead of me is packed with assemblies. Just know that I’m absolutely fine, that I miss you and that I love you very much.  
Please give Spot a kiss from me. I miss her too.  
Kristen xxx 

Intense relief rolled through Data and he released a long sigh. The fact he was missing her hadn’t changed at all of course, but that he’d had some contact from her was a salve over the burn of his lonesomeness. 

Data read the message over again from the top, memorising every single word in an instant, and then he replied to her. He told her that he understood she couldn’t be in touch constantly and that he was just glad she was happy and safe. 

_I miss you far more than I can convey,_ his messaged concluded, _and I love you far more than you could ever know._  
Be safe, my beloved. Please be safe.  
Data out.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : All feedback is appreciated, cats and kittens. I thrive on it! Please let me know what you think.


	13. Terlina III

_Soon you will be where your own eyes will see the source and cause and give you their own answer to the mystery - Dante Alighieri_

‘Ria, I specifically told you to give them water. We can’t feed them yet but they need water or they’ll get sick. When will you learn to listen to me?’

Kristen heard those chiding words as she tried to force her eyes open. Her lids felt so heavy but somehow she managed to lift them and take in her surroundings. It was dawn in the little cell she and her colleagues were being held in, or at least it was judging by the colour of the sunlight that caressed the walls in shades of pink, cerulean and ochre. Her mind was swimming with the last traces of beautiful dreams and she badly wanted to drift off again so she could be safe in her unconsciousness. 

It wasn’t to be, though. Strong hands hoisted her up into a sitting position and then one of those hands grasped her chin and held it up as her gag was untied.

‘I’m sorry. I tried to remember the water but I was too excited that we finally have them here. I won’t forget again. Do you forgive me?’ Ria said.

‘You’re an imbecile. Just hold her up, will you?’ 

_Mmm… that voice. Data’s voice. I love you… where are you?_

‘Ria. Snap out of that fugue you’re in and hold her up. You know I can’t balance all too well right now and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop daydreaming and help me. Now.’

_No… not Data… Data doesn’t use verbal contractions… what’s going on?_

Kristen rolled her dry tongue around her dry mouth and when her eyes came into focus, she found herself looking into a face she loved with all of her heart. That handsome face, with its golden lips, prominent nose and amber eyes looked like a vision of heaven at that moment and she started to smile, quite delirious in her state of shock and dehydration.

Ria moved behind her, or at least that was what Kristen was vaguely aware of. She was supported by two hands under her arms and then her hair was pulled so that her head was forced backwards. The pain didn’t register and oddly, the dominance in those controlling actions was almost welcome. It was like being held by her parents when she was small.

‘Listen to me,’ Not-Data intoned, ‘I’m going to give you some water now. I want you to sip it very slowly so that you don’t choke. Do you understand?’

Kristen smiled and smiled, her eyes rolling back in her head.

‘I told you she’s a stupid bitch,’ Ria said, ‘I hate her. Can we work on her next? I want to cut her open and play with her innards.’

‘Shut up, Ria,’ Not-Data snapped, ‘you already know my plans. We’ve been over and over this. Just hold her whilst I give her this cup of water. She needs it.’ 

Kristen felt her lips being parted by two intrusive fingers and she relaxed into the physical contact, not at all concerned. A cup was brought to her lips when the fingers were gone and then cold water was poured very slowly and considerately into her mouth. The refreshment and relief that came with it was almost too much. Kristen started to gulp, desperate for more, but as soon as she did that she started to choke and cough. Her throat was burning.

The cup was taken away and then her chin was gripped again, much more roughly than before. ‘I told you to sip very slowly,’ Not-Data said, impatient, ‘let’s try this once again. There is plenty of water here for you but if you rush it down, you’ll get sick. Listen to what I’m saying because I won’t warn you again.’

Kristen nodded, licking her lips. The cup came back and she drank from it as slowly as she possibly could. Her throat was soothed and though her lungs were stinging slightly from inhaling some of the water, all of it was forgotten as her body began the instant re-hydration process. When the cup was emptied, she heard a sloshing sound and then it came back to her lips. Remembering the warning she’d had, she continued to drink from it slowly. Her stomach felt so full, even though it was only holding liquid.

‘Let this first real meeting between us teach you that obedience is going to be a ruling factor in your survival. You will do as I say at all times or you will be punished,’ Not-Data told her, as he took the empty cup away.

Whether it was the water or just having enough time by then to get a grasp on reality, Kristen wasn’t sure, but her mind seemed to reactivate fully as he said those words and her vision swam into focus like never before. She took another look at his face. He was absolutely identical to Data. The curve of his jaw, the pale eyebrows and eyelashes, the sharp and tapering points of his sideburns and the darkness of his immaculately brushed-back hair, even the way his forehead creased in concentration… all of it was uncannily exact. 

Eyes of brilliant citrine stared into hers and Kristen inhaled a sharp breath as his hand moved from her chin to her throat. He squeezed her there and though she tried to swallow in terror, she was unable to. 

‘Are you with me now?’ Lore asked, ‘do you know who I am and where you are?’

Kristen started to shake. She heard Ria laughing darkly behind her. ‘I think she’s catching on now,’ she said.

Lore squeezed her throat again, as though he very much wanted to strangle her to death, but then his fingers relaxed slightly and he stroked his hand up to the side of her face again and he caressed her there in a way that was chilling. ‘I asked you three questions. If you know what’s good for you, and you’d better for your sake, I’d answer them immediately,’ he said.

‘I-I’m with you… we’re on Terlina III… and I know who you are…’

‘Who am I?’ he demanded, eyes hardening.

‘You’re Data’s b-brother,’

‘Yes, that’s right. What is my name?’

‘Lore…’ 

‘Yes. I’m the one you helped to bury here. You dug a deep, deep hole in the ground and then you put my dismantled body into that hole. Do you remember?’

Kristen nodded her head, terror lancing through her veins.

‘That was a big mistake, Counselor. Did you really think that leaving Ria here with me, right next to the lab my cyberneticist Father worked in until his last days, was a good idea? Did you not consider that she might dig me up and work out a way to put me back together?’

‘S-she classed herself as a widow… we buried you respectfully and we thought-’

His hand returned to her throat and again he squeezed. ‘You thought wrong,’ he said.

And then she was throttled until blood vessels burst in her eyes and the dawnlight faded into nothingness… blackness… and numbness too. 

* 

There was screaming in the dark. Ensign Jones was screaming and if a sound could be a colour, that colour would be as red as blood.

‘Help me! Aaaaarghhhhhh! Help me! Aaarghnnnnnnhhh!’

Kristen rolled over onto her side and she scrambled in the shadows, trying to release herself from the constraints that still bound her wrists and ankles. All she could think of was that she needed to get to Jones as quickly as possible and needed to save her from whatever agony she was in. A flutter of itches cascaded over her face but Kristen didn’t care about the spiders. They could do whatever they wanted, just as long as she could get to her colleague and help her before it was too late. 

But not only was Kristen still bound, she was also tethered to the wall. When she managed to upright herself into a sitting position and shuffled her way in the direction of the door, a tell-tale tightness made itself known around her throat and at that she was forced to move backwards to relieve the pressure before she choked. Some sort of collar had been fastened around her neck and though it wasn’t fastened to a cruel degree, it certainly ensured that she couldn’t move more than a few feet from where she’d been tied. 

She couldn’t get to the door. Jones was still screaming, but Kristen couldn’t help her. Looking over her shoulder, she saw only darkness… and then, within that black maw that swallowed all light, blinking circles of green and red.

‘Ria…’ Kristen rasped, ‘what are you doing in here?’

‘Eurghnnnnn….’

‘Ria, are you alright? Is that you? Are you okay?’

Movement within the darkness then and Kristen braced herself, expecting Ria to take hold of her and beat her or strangle her, or worse. But instead, trembling hands found her arms and squeezed them, near to the elbows. Forcing herself to think coherently, Kristen remembered Ensign Sarrott. She’d been gone for some time, the length of which was impossible to determine, but on a subliminal level Kristen was able to work out at least some of what was going on here. 

‘Eurghnnnnn….’

Sarrott was the one who was making those unholy groaning sounds. Sarrott was the one who had implants fitted to her head now – not Ria. She had been altered, changed, experimented upon. Sarrott was the one who was holding onto her, in fear and desperation. She was the shape in the darkness who was now struggling to speak and beg for help.

Kristen lifted her bound arms over Sarrott and held her close. The woman was little more than a stranger really, but in this maelstrom of shade and dread, they were united in their fear. Sarrott continued to gurgle and moan, but she was quieter now she was being held.

When Lore had last been functional, he had elected himself as the leader of a group of rogue Borg drones and once he’d earned their trust, he had begun to experiment on them. He had wanted to eradicate the organic parts of those errant cyborgs to re-make them in his image. Worse still, at that time he had still had Data’s emotion chip fitted into his positronic brain and had figured out a way to control his brother using that exact same chip. 

Lore had brainwashed Data with tempting flashes of emotion and that much had led him to experimenting on Geordi LaForge. He had tried to implant nano-cortical fibres into his cerebrum. He had tried to introduce an artificial neural network into his brain so that he’d be closer to being a cyborg than being a human. 

Neither Mary Shelley nor Edgar Allen Poe could ever have invented such nightmares in their wildest imaginings. Only Lore had been capable of directing those ghastly acts and Data had been caught in the middle of at all, a vulnerable pawn in a game of chess that the most inventive of horror writers could not have birthed nor dreamed of.

Sarrott was groaning in agony and Kristen held her close, trying to soothe her in the only way she knew; with affection and whispered words of assurance and comfort. ‘It’s okay,’ she said, a white lie lost in the whirring machinery of ever-building terror, ‘I’m here for you. I won’t let go. It’s going to be alright…’

* 

Dawnlight returned and when Kristen woke up, she realised that Sarrott was dead in her arms. She stared down at her in a daze. 

She’d seen people die before, other Starfleet officers who had been sacrificed in an untimely act of ill-fated duty, but this particular loss hit her harder than ever. She did not cry, for her grief was tempered by the pain her body and mind were twisted in, but sorrow erupted in her heart. She cast her eyes over the implants that were attached to Sarrott’s skull and took in the dried blood and the pus that leaked down the side of her face. The blood and pus were as red and green as the lights that had once flickered there and she thought of those colours as her grief and despair mounted.

_This is someone’s daughter. This is someone’s best friend. She could even be someone’s sibling or lover. This woman was loved and she was important to those who knew her. This is no way to die – experimented on as though she was a rat in a cage._

_But here we are all rats and we’re awaiting the same grisly fate._

Kristen put her face close to Sarrott’s and then she kissed her temple. The dried blood didn’t bother her at all and nor did the coppery taste of it on her lips. She ignored the stiffness of her limbs, caught in rigor-mortis, and instead focused her thoughts on the officer and woman she had once been, before this nightmare. 

_Rest in peace, Idzel Sarrott… you will not be forgotten…_

She badly wanted to cry for Sarrott but she couldn’t connect her feelings to her senses. All she could do was cradle her in her arms and kiss her face, her closed eyelids, her ice-cold nose and downturned lips, over and over again.

Time progressed and within it, a sense of hopelessness. 

Kristen was the daughter of a man who had feared artificial life with so much abandon that it had come between himself and his only daughter in the worst way. In a mad state of contemplation, Kristen re-lived the many times her Father had warned her about the unpredictability of androids. He had told her, even from the early stages of her childhood, that artificial beings were something to be afraid of, that they were evil incarnate and not a progression of any kind of science that would ever be accepted by her family. 

_Lore has proven you right, Dad… or at least partially…_

Sensibility and experience joined those sour memories and then she dreamed of Data and his unfailing kindness and sweetness. She longed for his presence. 

Despite the blaze of bad memories in her mind, she still knew where her loyalties resided. She knew who she wanted and needed, knew why she was wearing that beautiful engagement ring on her finger, the one she would never take off. If only Data would enter this dry and dusty room and take this stiff corpse from her arms so that he could lift her up and up, back to the stars she dreamed of whenever she’d been knocked out or had passed out into a cold void of nothing.

But Data did not come and the body she held to her chest only got colder as the day went on. Kristen’s stomach growled with hunger and sickness chased those pangs for food.

When sunlight became a violet dusk, Kristen shook herself out of her reverie and lay Sarrott down on the ground. She struggled to do so because of the bondage she was in, but she needed to let her go or else she knew she’d go mad. She lifted her face from gazing at that rapidly-discolouring body and then she saw the others who were still in the room with her.

Jones was absent, but Jijesh and Yates remained. Jijesh was unconscious. Yates was watching everything Kristen had been doing. His face was slack with shock but his eyes were pinned on the dead body that lay between them.

Kristen waited for his gaze to lift and connect with hers and when it did, she gave him a weak smile, trying to be supportive.

Yates did not return that smile. His eyes were bleak and blank.

*

Two more days and nights passed. 

Ria had promised Kristen that she and Lore would ‘play’ with her, but the only interactions she had with them was when they came into the room together to give her water and on three occasions, feed her morsels of bread and dried fruit so that she wouldn’t die of hunger. Her body craved sustenance but as soon as the food was inside her, Kristen threw it up. 

Ria was impatient, but Lore seemed to have all the time in the world for these efforts. When she was sick, he would order his partner-in-crime to clean away the mess of her regurgitation and then he would encourage her to try and eat more slowly until she was able to stomach her small and meagre meals and keep them down. 

Yates and Jijesh were not sick and ate with a feral hunger that disgusted their captors. They swallowed down everything that was given to them in seconds and gulped water to satiate their needs, almost choking at times as they gobbled and slurped. They were animalistic in their instinctual need to survive and all composure was buried beneath the pain and terror they’d been destroyed by since Soshi had delivered them. 

Kristen watched Lore as Lore watched them and she couldn’t help but be beguiled by his pale and handsome appearance. He was so identical to Data that she could hardly take it in. Doctor Soong had designed both of his sons with far more attention to programming than to aesthetics it seemed, for both of these androids were twinned in every microscopic detail. 

Kristen hated Lore for his cruelty and yet she mooned over his comely profile and the timbre of his voice. When he spoke, no matter how derisively, she daydreamed of that same voice whispering loving words to her in the heights of passion. She was not developing even the remotest ebb of fondness for Lore, but she was helpless as to how his appearance affected her. 

Ria had been in the same position when she’d met Data for the first time and had mistaken him for her manic and malevolent lover. _That_ was how identical they were. Kristen and Ria were in love with practically the same person, only the differences between them were found in the contrasting faults and positive, humanistic developments of their cognitive programming.

Ria had changed so much. Back when Kristen had first met her, she had been determined and strong-willed but she had also had a heart and, to some extent, a conscience. 

Now, she was a woman that Kristen barely recognised and it wasn’t because of the cybernetic implants that flickered on her skull or the blood and gore that splattered her clothes. Kristen was indifferent now to Ria’s shorn hair and missing teeth. Instead, she was terrified by the huge turnaround in her behaviour. 

It was as if the neural sickness and murderous ambition that made Lore so evil and debased had infected her too and she was utterly devoted to all of the madness he was exhibiting. She was fervent in her dedication and as much as she was still in love with Lore, she was also hellbent on sadism and the intent to inflict pain and suffering. Love and devotion had melted into malice and insanity and the result was a woman who was a melting pot of desire and destruction. 

Kristen wondered if she was a hybristophile. It would certainly make sense.

Of course, Ria had shown some shades of madness when she had killed Dolan, her ex-partner and the Father of her only child, Katalia. Kristen had been shocked by that attempt at murder, as her colleagues and superiors had been. Wesley Crusher, under The Traveller’s superhuman direction, had brought Dolan back to life, but still… the ability to murder had been alive and well within Ria and even her unfortunate past had not excused such violence. 

There was far more craziness in her eyes now, though. Clearly, Kristen had never known what Ria was truly capable of. Only now that she was witnessing her connection with Lore was she able to get a full scope of her character.

Ria was deranged and psychotic. She was a dark, dark creature who lived only for the insensible rhyme and reason that Lore put to her with his carefully delivered instructions. When Yates and Jijesh slobbered over their rations, she would watch Lore sneer in revulsion and then emulate that same exact sneer. When he derided them for being so feral, she would cackle like one of the witches who prophesised a complicated future for Macbeth.

Kristen tried to mind her own business as much as she could, even though she longed to nestle in with her fellow prisoners and show support by trying to encourage them to eat and drink more slowly. She nibbled on crackers and dried peaches, wondering how Jones was doing and if she was still human or some unthinkable meld between human and android.

_They will gain power and then they will turn on us all,_ her Father’s voice whispered, deep within her mind, _and when we are betrayed, it will be the end of all times. It will be the end of humanity and the end of the world too._

_Soong tried to emulate humanity when he created his sons. But he also wrote a poem of disaster. He wrote the verses of the end-times. He designed the crucible that will contain the poison of the Armageddon… and he will shoulder the blame of it all when the fumes and dark liquids of that poison erupt and turn the sky into ash and the oceans into frothing sulphur…_

*

When Data and Kristen had been almost fatally injured in the cave-blast accident on Loistros, Data’s lower legs had been irrepairably destroyed. After some deliberation, it had been decided that Lore’s lower legs would be fetched from his quarters and they would be fitted to his body instead so that LaForge and Crusher wouldn’t have to over-extend their abilities and try to do what only Noonien Soong could have done. 

He was fixed then and though Data hadn’t been entirely content with that eventuality, he had accepted it and he and Kristen had moved on.

Lore, now that he was reassembled and reactivated, had not moved on at all. 

His legs below the knee were crudely constructed from whatever he’d been able to find within his Father’s lab and as such, he shuffled when he walked and found it hard to maintain balance. He was crippled by the mad arrangement of circuit boards and hardware he’d pieced together and had to lean on Ria at times so that he could keep himself in motion.

Whenever he came into the cell, Kristen stared at his face and dreamed that he was the man she loved and wished would come rescue her. And then her gaze would drop down and down, until she was staring at the freakish assembly of fixtures that kept him upright and then she would find herself caught in a spell of terror and undeserved guilt. 

_He is not my love. He is a facsimile of my love, only… he is broken and he is mad…_

It was not Kristen’s fault that Lore’s lower legs had been taken and used to fix Data, but still she was able to tap into the part of her that was a psychologist and a Counselor and understand why it angered him. She could understand all too well how angry Lore was that he was in a state of obvious disrepair. Had she been used as a limb donor when she was not truly dead, she too would have been bitter. She would have wanted her body to be corrected, for her limbs to be rightfully returned to her. She would want to be whole.

Lore wasn’t embarrassed by his condition in any obvious sense but he was frustrated when he found it hard to stand upright. He seemed to hate having to ask Ria to help him and when he did so, his eyes burned with rage.

During one long and confusing afternoon, he had decided to enter and exit the room several times, but as he did so, his legs weakened and some of the hardware gave in to defeat, snapping and breaking. Lore stumbled and fell; his lower legs crumbling to shards of shattered endoskeleton. Ria shrieked and rushed to him, trying to help him up. 

Kristen was huddled in the corner with Yates Jijesh, but at such a sight of commotion she had tried to right herself so she could offer him a helping hand. It made no sense, given that he was torturing her colleagues in rooms beyond the cell and was her captor and tormentor too, but her instincts had kicked in of their own volition and she was trying to make herself available even before her morals or pain had a chance to speak. 

Her bound hands extended to him and Lore pushed them away, his teeth gritted. 

‘Don’t touch me,’ he warned her.

Kristen tried once more to make herself available to him but Ria hissed at her like a territorial feline and at that, she pulled away and shrank back in her corner with Jijesh and Yates.

‘Do you see what he’s done to me?’ Lore snarled, as he struggled to right himself, ‘do you see what Data took and what I’ve been left with?’

Yates was shuddering and Jijesh was crying; tears pouring down and down from purple eyes that were huge with fear. Kristen had no ready reply for Lore, but if she’d not been gagged she would have tried to offer some apology, no matter how insincere.

Ria helped Lore up and when it became clear that he wouldn’t be able to walk, she told him to wait and then she left the room. When she came back, she had a wheelchair to hand. It took a very long time, but she eventually helped him into it and as soon as he was seated, Lore commanded that she take him to his Father’s main lab so he could recover and try to mend himself.

Kristen watched them leave and when the door slammed in their wake, she wondered how long it would be before this gruesome duo returned with water and rations. She wondered about Jones and where she was. She wondered about her own place in the universe. 

_By now Data should have realised that I’ve not been in touch. It’s been days since I was meant to have reached earth for the child psychology conferences. He should have been worried that I haven’t sent him a message. Why hasn’t Data noticed that something is wrong? Why hasn’t he looked into my absence and the absence of the others?_

_Either he is giving this the benefit of the doubt or something else is at hand here…_

Yates shivered again and so Kristen rested her head against his. He snuggled into her and she returned the gesture, eager to share his body heat. Jijesh sniffled back those tears and then moved closer to them. The three of them did what they could, despite their binds, to get closer to one another. It was all they had.


	14. Pain

_Hope not ever to see Heaven. I have come to lead you to the other shore; into eternal darkness; into fire and into ice - Dante Alighieri_

Kristen stopped counting the days. The smell of Sarrott’s decomposing body was playing tricks with her mind and her coherency was fragile at best. 

Jones had been returned and though she hadn’t passed away, it looked as though it was going to happen before long. Her cybernetic implants had been fitted but much like with Sarrott, the wounds had not been cleaned and so they had become badly infected. She lay in a heap on the floor, mumbling to herself about wanting her Mother and Kristen watched her, her eyes glazed. She wanted to hold Jones in her arms to comfort her, but she couldn’t reach her from where she was tethered by her collar.

Jijesh had definitely lost his mind. He laughed to himself as though the hell they were in was great entertainment and sometimes he yelled at everyone to shut up, even when nobody was speaking. Kristen knew she didn’t need to be a qualified psychologist to diagnose the nervous breakdown he’d suffered. Anyone could look into his purple eyes and see that they were vacant. 

Yates, Jijesh and Kristen had not worn their gags for a while. They had proven to be annoying for Lore when he wanted to feed them or give them water. But their ankles and wrists were still tied and they remained in the clothes they’d been wearing when they’d arrived. 

When Lore and Ria came in to check on Jones, Kristen asked them if they could take Sarrott’s body away but they just looked at her as though they had no idea why she’d ask for such a thing. She tried to explain that the oddly sweet smell of rotting flesh was making her lose her grasp on reality but again they just stared at her, nonplussed. Kristen opened her mouth to beg them to grant her this one request but Lore shambled his way over to her and grabbed her throat, cruel fingers digging into her skin.

‘You don’t understand, do you?’ he snarled, ‘you don’t get to ask me or beg me for anything. You will be silent until I am ready to interrogate you and you will eat your rations and drink your water and be a good girl. When I decide to perform surgery on you, you will co-operate and not give me any trouble. You will be a fine example of a well-behaved prisoner and if you bother me or fight me or try to escape, I will put you through such agony that the scent of a rotting body will seem like heaven by comparison.’

Kristen was shaking. Lore squeezed her throat even more until it felt as though her trachea would collapse under the pressure and then he slowly pulled his hand back, lifted it and slapped her hard across the face. Her head rocked with the impact and the pain made her cry out.

In the corner, Ria was laughing. ‘Hit her again! Black her eyes, Lore. Make her bleed!’ she said.

‘Shut up, Ria,’ Lore snapped.

Kristen took a deep breath and then she looked up at Lore again.

‘Silence, Counselor,’ Lore intoned, ‘hold your tongue or I’ll cut it out.’

She bit down on her lips so that she wouldn’t make a sound. 

Satisfied, Lore turned and cast his gaze around the room. Ria came over to him as though wanting to check he was alright or needed assistance in maintaining his balance but as soon as she was close and tried to put her hands on him, he pushed her away with a hard shove. ‘Will you _stop_ crowding me, Ria?’ he snarled, ‘you’re like my shadow,’

‘I’m sorry,’ Ria bleated, ‘I’m sorry, Lore. I just wanted to see if you needed me…’

‘I don’t need you or anyone else,’ he returned, in an acid tone, ‘you need to snap out of the mindset you’re in. I do not have the time to entertain the romantic notions you’re holding onto so stop trying to touch me and stop getting in my way. I’m focused on my work and you’re proving to be an extremely annoying distraction at times,’

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll try harder, Lore,’ she said, tears in her eyes.

‘Just shut up and go back to the lab,’ he returned.

Kristen regressed at that moment and she remembered some of the things Dolan had said about the love affair that Lore and Ria had once had. Dolan had been convinced that the love they’d shared was real and that he had genuinely cared for her. Now, it seemed that Lore had lost the capacity for any type of tenderness and nor did it seem that he felt he owed Ria even any basic respect. She’d been the one to dig him up, reconstruct him and reactivate him and yet Lore apparently didn’t care. He treated her like a slave and even when she was trying to help him and earn his favour, he remained cold of attitude and short of temper.

Ria slouched out of the room looking like a child who had been scolded for stealing cookies and closed the door after her. 

Lore turned his attention back to Kristen. ‘She doesn’t know it yet but I’m going to run some tests on her tomorrow that will be the basis for what I’m going to do to you. With every experiment, I get a little closer to knowing for sure that I can alter you in the way that’s necessary,’ he said.

Kristen was still shaking. She didn’t say a word.

‘Unfortunately, there is a chance that Ria might not survive, but that’s not a problem. She really can be most annoying. The only thing that has stopped me killing her is that she does reveal little bits of information about yourself and my brother on occasion. She claims she can’t remember much when I quiz her directly but when she’s got her mind on other things, details slip out. Soshi was useful in that regard too and he continues to be so. He’s a great guy. You should have stayed with him, Counselor.’

Yates shifted in the corner. Lore glanced to him momentarily and then he shuffled over to the window and leaned against it in a casual fashion. Kristen’s throat was giving her a lot of pain due to being throttled again and she could feel her eye swelling with a bruise already from where she’d been slapped but she couldn’t be distracted by those things whilst she listened to Lore open up. This was the most information she’d had so far and she was soaking it up like a sponge.

‘If you had stayed with Soshi, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now, would you?’ he continued, ‘of course, he was disloyal to you but I know that putting up with that behaviour must surely be preferable over the state you’re in at the moment. He’s been such a great help with all of this. He has your PADD by the way and he’s been communicating with Data on your behalf. We wouldn’t Data to worry about you, would we?’

Kristen gasped. So _that_ was why Data hadn’t tried to find her. As far as he knew, she was fine and studying at the Academy.

‘Your face is a picture right now,’ Lore said, ‘you look so shocked, so hurt.’ 

Kristen closed her eyes and held them shut for a moment as she processed her shock. Data had no idea she was missing.

‘Anyway…’ Lore said, ‘Soshi is helping with the more perfunctory elements of this arrangement and I’m more than happy to repay him with some of the latinum my Father had stored here. You’re perhaps wondering how he got involved in this at all and the answer is quite simple – Ria told me all about you and Data and when my interest in you grew, I used the same computer my Father used many years ago to track Data’s career from a distance. I read through files and I gathered lots of tiny pieces of information until I had a bigger picture of you. I know a lot about you, Counselor. But I am still going to interrogate you so that I can hear much of what I know come from you personally.’

His tone was so conversational it was as though they were acquaintances who were catching up. Kristen opened her eyes again and swallowed, drily so.

Lore smiled coldly at her. ‘We’re going to spend a lot of time together, you and I. We’re going to be best friends and you’re going to confide everything in me. We’re going to be very close. Almost… intimate… with one another.’

Kristen clenched her fists.

There was a crashing sound then and Lore snapped his eyes to the door. By the sounds of it, Ria had either dropped something or knocked something over. Lore rolled his eyes and stood up from where he’d been leaning. 

‘She’s such a child. Do excuse me, Counselor, whilst I go and see what she’s broken this time. I’ll be back later to feed you and your friends,’ he said, and then he was gone.

Kristen looked over to Yates and Jijesh. They were wide-eyed and stricken with fear. Kristen was much the same, only her heart was filled with a new and special sort of dread. Lore wanted to spend more time with her and it wasn’t all because of his ‘experiments’. It was because he wanted to talk to her and get to know her.

She couldn’t think of anything worse.

*

Jijesh had disappeared. Kristen realised it when she woke one morning. Jones was gone too and so was Sarrott’s body. She had also been untied and when she looked over to a still-sleeping Yates, she saw that he too was no longer bound or tethered to the wall. The scent of death was gone and there was a jug of cold water, two cups and a plate on the floor that was piled with crackers and grapes. 

Kristen was stunned. She looked down at her wrists, seeing rope burns there. It didn’t matter though because being able to move properly was the most amazing feeling. She immediately crawled over to Yates and shook him. ‘Steve,’ she said, ‘Steve, wake up.’

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘We’ve been untied.’

He shot upright immediately and once he’d seen for himself that she was right, he looked around the room and realised they were alone. ‘Where are the others?’ he asked.

‘I’ve got no idea. I only just woke up. I don’t know how Lore managed to do all this without us knowing, but somehow he has. We’ve got rations too… and clean water.’

‘I suppose I should be happy about the food at least but I’m not hungry,’ Yates said, ‘I want to know what Lore has done with the others,’

‘Me too, Steve,’ Kristen agreed.

‘Are you alright, Kris?’ 

She gave him a weak smile. ‘No, of course I’m not. Are you?’

‘No. I don’t think either of us are going to be alright ever again’

They stood up together, helping one another, and their legs shook with the exertion. ‘I hope this doesn’t sound awful but I’m glad they took Sarrott’s body away. The smell was truly driving me insane,’ she said.

Yates groaned at the aches in his back. ‘Yeah, I know,’ he replied, ‘here, hold onto me.’ 

Kristen did so and when they’d both managed to stand for a minute or two, they looked at one another. ‘We need to try and escape,’ she said, ‘now we’re untied, we stand a chance.’

Laughing bitterly, Yates shook his head. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. How on earth do you expect us to get out of here? Lore might be slow because of his legs but he isn’t stupid. He’ll find us and he’ll kill us,’

‘He’s going to kill us if we stay.’

Kristen sighed for a long time. She decided that they should try and eat and so they carried their rations and water over to the window so they could get a look at the outside world. She managed to eat two crackers, as she and Yates stared at the jungle plants and dense foliage, but she then lost her appetite. Surviving on tiny amounts of food had shrunk her stomach and so it was hard to truly replenish herself. 

A thought struck her then. ‘I’m going to go on a hunger strike,’ she said.

Yates frowned at her. ‘So you’d rather die at your own hands than at his?’

‘No, it’s not that. Lore wants me to eat so I’ll be strong enough for the experiments but if I don’t co-operate, it’ll give me more time. Let’s both go on a hunger strike. Let’s give ourselves as much time as we can, Steve.’

Yates stared at the grapes on the plate and then he looked to her again. ‘That’s not a bad idea,’ he said. 

*

Two events occurred as the sun rose and fell and then rose again. 

The first was that though Lore hadn’t fixed his legs, he had found a way to strengthen them so that he wasn’t unbalanced. Wires trailed from them and they were still comprised of exposed hardware, but he no longer needed to lean against things and it was obvious he wouldn’t fall again or need support. That much improved his mood somewhat and when he realised that Kristen and Yates weren’t eating their rations, he didn’t worry about it or chide them. He just rolled his eyes at them and told them they’d break eventually and obey him. His behaviour was odd and confusing.

The second event was that Lore had done something so invasive and cruel to Ria that she was no longer able to speak or think properly. 

Kristen had awoken in the night to a low growling sound and when she realised Ria was standing in the corner of the room she had expected to be attacked. She had even raised her arms to shield her face but when she eventually calmed a little and lowered them again, she realised that Ria wasn’t moving. She was just hovering there like a ghoul, growling and drooling.

When dawn came, Kristen was able to see her better. Ria was a mess. Blood covered her clothes and more implants had been fitted to her head. Her eyes were hollow.

Lore strode in and grabbed her. ‘Come with me,’ he said.

Ria looked up at him and then she smiled. Because of her missing teeth, that smile reminded Kristen of a Jack O’Lantern. The fact that Ria still felt capable of smiling when she saw Lore made Kristen want to cry for her. Even when he’d wrecked her body and her mind, she clearly still loved him and was happiest when he was paying attention to her. It was heartbreaking.

‘Come on, you idiot,’ Lore said, tugging at Ria.

Drool ran down her chin and she finally began to move, letting him take her out of the room. The door was slammed and Kristen stared at it, twisted inside with hundreds of thoughts and feelings.

Yates put his hands to his face and rubbed it. ‘This is getting weirder by the moment,’ he said, ‘what the hell has he done to her?’

Kristen glanced his way. ‘The same as what he did to Sarrott and Jones and what he’s probably doing to Jijesh too. He’s trying to make them into cyborgs,’

‘To what end?’ Yates asked, leaning back against the wall, ‘I have literally no understanding as to why he’s doing these terrible things,’

‘He’s had a fancy for it for some time, as far as I know. He led a group of rogue Borg many years ago and he experimented on them too. He controlled Data and got him to try some of this stuff on Geordi. He’s got some sort of fascination with these surgeries. Also, he’s absolutely and totally crazy. That will be a ruling factor in his decision making,’

‘I read about that awful business when I was posted to the _Enterprise_ ,’ Yates replied, ‘when I realised I’d be serving under Captain Picard, I thought it best to do as much homework on the Borg as I possibly could. I read about those rogue Borg about the things Lore did to them… God, if I’d only known then that I’d end up being experimented on by him too I would have taken myself on a little excursion to Engineering and I would have thrown myself into the Warp Core to spare myself this suffering.’

Kristen gave him a sad smile. ‘That would probably be a far less painful death than the one we have awaiting us. At least that kind of death is instant.’

Yates put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed her there. ‘If he decides to spare you for some reason… maybe because you’re with Data and they’re brothers… and if you get out of here, will you contact my parents personally and tell them how much I loved them?’

She covered his hand with hers. ‘Yes, I will, Steve,’

‘Thanks, Kris.’

 _So much pain,_ she thought, _am I mad now? I’m in hell and I’m not panicking anymore._

_Am I insane?_

*

The hunger worsened but Kristen and Yates didn’t eat anything. They did drink water, but their rations remained untouched. 

At night, Ria wandered in and out of their cell making those gruesome growling noises and Lore came to fetch her when he had the time. Kristen did dream about trying to escape, especially when she was wide awake, but she knew that Lore never slept and that he’d be lurking out in the other rooms of the lab, just waiting for one of them to try something stupid. 

Yates was struggling even moreso with his hunger and had taken to talking about food constantly, listening all of his favourite snacks, meals and desserts with maddening descriptions of flavour and texture.

He talked about ice cream sundaes and mouth-watering slabs of Ktarian chocolate puff and Kristen could almost taste those confections as he went on and on. Yates talked about his Mother’s home-cooking and about family dinners around tables that were laden with delicious food. It made Kristen think of her brother and sister-in-law and her niece. She thought about food and her family and, more than anything else, she thought about Data.

When the nights were cold, she would lie on her side and Yates would ask if they could share body heat by holding onto one another. They’d done that with Jijesh before he’d been taken away and so she didn’t mind at all. Kristen knew that sex was the last thing on Yates’ mind and that he just wanted to stay warm. He spooned her and both of them stopped shivering eventually as their platonic affection brought them some comfort. 

Yates fell asleep and Kristen lay there, dreaming that the arm around her was Data’s instead. When she closed her eyes, she could pretend she was anywhere and with anyone and she fantasised madly that she and Data were laid in their bed together and that he was holding her as she rested.

The pain that brought was inevitable, but she couldn’t stop indulging in the fantasy. She dreamed of putting her arms around Data’s neck, of kissing his mouth, of running her fingertips through his dark hair. She melted inside when she remembered the taste of his tongue when their kisses were especially deep and exploratory. His saliva didn’t taste precisely like human saliva. It was a good taste though, one that was hard to describe but also one that her senses had become totally accustomed to. 

The same could be said for his scent – Data didn’t smell the way that organic beings did. He smelt clean and sort of warm and…

Kristen scrunched her eyes up as the agony of being without him lanced through her.

_I love you, Data. I’m marrying us in my head right now because when I die, I have to die knowing that I’m your wife. I’m not your fiancée, Data, I’m your wife…_

*

In the morning, Lore woke her by kicking her in the stomach. It wasn’t a hard kick, instead it was more of a shove that was designed to wake her up. She turned her head to look at him and Lore put his hands on his hips and tut-tutted at her. ‘Well, well, well,’ he said, ‘I would not have believed it. Look at the two of you, all snuggled up and cosy. I’m not sure what my brother would say about this but I very much doubt he’d approve.’

Kristen realised he was misinterpreting the reason why she and Yates were huddled together. ‘We were trying to stay warm,’ she countered, sitting up.

Yates did the same, just as confused as she was. ‘Yeah,’ he agreed, ‘we slept like that with Jijesh too. It can get cold in here at night.’

Lore walked in a slow circle around them. ‘I’m not sure I believe you…’

‘Please,’ Kristen said, ‘just leave it, alright? We’re friends. We were sleeping like that because we were shivering with cold.’

Lore grinned. ‘Maybe I should get Soshi to tell Data that you’ve met someone else?’

‘You’re not listening,’ Yates snapped, ‘nothing is going on between us!’

Lore was still grinning when he lashed out and hit Yates hard across his face. The blow was so heavy that it knocked him unconscious immediately and he slumped over where he was sitting, a trickle of blood running from the corner of his mouth to his chin.

Kristen stood up. She was scared to death and had no understanding whatsoever of this bizarre mood that Lore was in. He let her back away until she was pressed to the wall and then he walked very slowly towards her. 

‘Please don’t hit me,’ she begged.

Lore laughed and then he looked at her hands. Kristen had raised them to defend herself, as futile as that effort could only prove to be, and they remained in the air. He took her left hand, sharply so, and then he examined the engagement ring on her finger. His grin faded and then was replaced by a very serious expression indeed. 

‘It seems I owe you an apology,’ he said, still considering the ring, ‘clearly, you’re practically a married woman and so of course you wouldn’t cheat. I’m sorry I insinuated that you were being unfaithful.’

Kristen tried to snatch her hand back, but Lore’s grip on her was vice-like. ‘Apology accepted,’ she said, through gritted teeth, ‘now, please let me go?’

He did the worst thing he’d done to her yet at that moment. It wasn’t violent, wasn’t physical torture of any description, but it made her heart shatter into a thousand pieces when he forced that beautiful ring off her finger. When he had it, he let go of her hand and then he shuffled to the centre of the room and held it up so he could watch the rainbows that were cast from the white sapphire that was set into the platinum band. 

‘Give it back to me,’ she said, new levels of shock and fear sinking into her, ‘please, Lore. Please give me my ring back. You have no idea what it means to me,’

‘I’m not stupid, Kristen,’ he said, ‘I know what an engagement ring means. I’m familiar with many human customs.’

She went over to him, trying to snatch it back, but Lore shoved her and she hit the wall again, her hip smacking against it and painfully so. ‘Please!’ she cried, ‘please _give it back!_ ’

Lore looked to her for a moment and then he held the ring between his thumb and forefinger and he started to push at it. The platinum began to bend and then the structure of the ring collapsed and he quite literally crushed it into pieces. The sapphire and the blue diamonds fell to the floor, too hard for even him to break, and then the ruined platinum fell too. 

Kristen could not believe what she was seeing. It was a shallow horror in comparison to the surgeries he’d performed, the murders he’d committed and what he’d done to Ria, the only woman who had ever loved him, but it was a horror all the same.

_No… please, no…_

Kristen fell to her knees. She wanted and needed to cry but the tears still wouldn’t come. She was too shocked, too destroyed by pain. She crawled over to where he was standing and then she picked up the glinting stones and the tiny scraps of platinum. ‘Why did you do that?’ she asked, her voice trembling, ‘Lore, why did you do that? _Why?_ ’

He crouched down so he could look her in the eye. ‘Are you hurting?’ he asked.

‘Of course I am,’ she said, in such agony that she could barely breathe.

‘Then you have the answer to your question.’ Lore gave her a cold smile and then he stood up straight again and went over to the door. ‘I need to go now, but I’ll be back.’

Kristen’s hands were shaking. She stared down at her broken ring and then she closed her hand and brought it to her heart.

_Data… I’m so sorry…_

Then, for the first time since she’d been kidnapped by Noonien Soong’s least favourite son, Kristen hung her head and sobbed.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Feedback, guys? Mwah xx


	15. Bright Shadows

_As little flowers, which the chill of night has bent and huddled, when the white sun strikes, grow straight and open fully on their stems, so did I, too, with my exhausted force - Dante Alighieri_

Time passed and Kristen found herself wide awake during another long and lonely night. The weather was cool and still outside and the exotic plants beyond the windows barely moved at all, save for an occasional tremble when the breeze began to lift. The moon had drifted behind a swathe of ink-blue clouds. All was dark save for the pinprick lights of distant stars in the sky overhead Soong’s hidden laboratory. 

Kristen stood by the window and didn’t try to stop herself from staring out to the jungle path with longing in her heart. She had been in that exact position for almost two hours, ever since Lore had taken the last of her colleagues out to the rear part of the lab. 

Yates had been ready and expectant of it. The young man had sat silently on the floor across the room as Lore shuffled in and then when he was told to follow him, he got up immediately, with nothingness in his eyes. Kristen had expected a farewell of some sort, given that they’d grown close and that he surely knew he was never coming back and they’d never see one another again, but it didn’t happen. Yates simply glanced at her with emptiness in his gaze and then he ambled along behind Lore until the door closed behind them both. 

Now that her companions had all disappeared and Kristen was alone in the room that was her prison, she knew that things were soon going to get worse, if that was possible. Lore had saved her until last and there was a reason for that. She began to assess the situation, trying to stay calm and not give in to the grief she felt over Yates and the pain she was still processing over Lore destroying her engagement ring. 

The one thing she knew for sure was that Lore was completely mad. He was _insane_ and he carried a great deal of anger beneath his determined façade. Kristen knew he was raging on the inside for that dark emotion rolled off him in waves and he snapped a lot when he spoke to her, even about inconsequential matters. He was insane and he was angry and the combination of those things was enough to make Kristen shrink inside with trepidation.

Lore had revealed, before Ria was experimented on and reduced to nothing more than a zombie, she had told him everything she knew about Kristen, Data and what they had. She had also told him other things, such as the fact that Data had had his legs destroyed and had used Lore’s legs as replacements and that before she had managed to resurrect him, he had been buried in a box in the ground. 

Those things, passed from Ria to Lore, were mentioned by him on occasion and it was done so casually and conversationally that it made Kristen feel sick with fear. It was all building and building and Kristen knew it. Lore was working on something terrible but at the same time, he was no doubt thinking of vengeance and how he could hurt his brother for what had happened. 

Kristen knew why she had been saved for last. The others had been true experiments but she was _useful_. She was the tool that Lore could use to injure Data and that promised so much pain and unspeakable danger. Kristen knew that Lore would project all of his anger onto her and now that Yates was gone, he was free to get started on her whenever he was ready. She tried to steel herself, tried to tell herself that she was strong and that she would be brave but the fear in her heart was almost crippling.

Kristen had attended Lore’s ‘funeral’. She had stood there in dress uniform and watched as he was lowered into the earth and a replicated tombstone was put in place to mark his grave. He hadn’t been dead, not really. She had known that and so had Data and Captain Picard and everyone else involved. Kristen had been terrified at the mere thought of Lore being reactivated but that really wasn’t good enough and she knew it. She _should_ have said something, should have said that it was wrong, but she hadn’t. He had been deactivated but he had still been buried alive.

Kristen had allowed it to happen and she knew that Lore knew that too. This was more than just about Data and the ‘offences’ Lore felt he had committed against him, she had also wronged him and he would have his own twisted brand of justice.

Tension hung in the air every time Lore came in to bring rations and clean drinking water. He talked, always indulging in some rhetoric about how his experiments were vastly improving with each attempt he made. He spoke to Kristen directly, asked her random questions about her life that seemed to make no sense. 

How many hours sleep a night did she require and how many times had she undergone surgical procedures, especially during her childhood? What kind of dreams did she have? Had she ever had a seizure or a severe allergic reaction to anything? What was her favourite colour? 

The questions unsettled her greatly and more often than not, she refused to answer them. She wasn’t sure where that bravery and defiance had come from but she was glad she’d gained back a little fighting spirit. It reminded her that she was still alive, still going, still surviving. Lore did not push her or make threats to get his own way anymore. He didn’t throttle her or slap her. Kristen hadn’t expected that from him and so it was confusing each time he simply smiled to himself at her defiant silence and then left the room.

Interacting with an android who looked _exactly_ like Data was still potent. Every time Lore walked through the door, a pang would ignite in Kristen’s heart and then spread down low to her belly. His face, his hands, his hair and eyes, they were all identical to the ones she’d come to fall in love with such a long time ago. 

She watched him talk with a detached sort of introspection, trying to focus on the differences instead of the similarities between them both. 

Lore used the verbal contractions that Data was incapable of making. It had him sound different, despite his voice itself being indistinguishable from his brother’s. His body language was entirely different to Data’s also. There was arrogance in his gait and though he had to shuffle around because of the monstrous contraptions that made up what was left of his lower legs, there was a keen underscoring of complacent self-confidence to his movements. Lore carried himself like he owned whatever he touched, as though the whole world was there for his taking. 

_There’s no wonder he and Soshi get on._

Kristen turned from the window, her head filled with thoughts and comparisons. There was a jug of clean water and some bread on a plate on a nearby shelf but neither appealed for her hunger strike was still ongoing. What she would have liked, if she had any choice at all, would be to bathe and get into some clean clothes. So much time had passed since she had regained consciousness in this room on the first night and she had not come in contact with soap or warm water even once. 

Due to the meagre rations and the hunger strike, a lot of weight had dropped from her frame and she could feel it in the looseness of her clothes around her hips and shoulders. Not being able to brush her teeth or wash was beginning to drive her crazy and she knew that she smelt bad too.

Some of this made sense, she supposed. Or it did from Lore’s point of view at least. She imagined him thinking; _Keep the one you want to torture the most in a state where she cannot freshen up and so feels self-conscious. Remain indifferent to her refusal to eat, confuse her with random questions and when the time is right, go in for the kill. Weaken the prey before honing in on it._

Kristen already felt bodily weak and it would only be a matter of time until her mind would catch up and leave her completely vulnerable. She had already questioned her sanity over and over again. There were times she felt mad and times where she felt balanced. Ups and downs in her mind were constant. Some days were far better than others. On occasion, she felt filled with rage and fire and on other days she wished she was dead. Lore knew what he was doing, alright. He was a practised murderer and torturer and he was skilled with it. 

The fear was ever-present, as was the sense that she was lapsing in and out of insanity, and Kristen had begun to obsess over the stories Data had told her about Lore, back when he was still her patient and she his Counselor. Stories that involved lies, theft, kidnapping and _mass_ -murder… fraternizations with the Borg and the Crystalline Entity… the violent killing of Doctor Noonien Soong, which still pained Data to the present day; all of those things reached into her subconscious and roused the warnings her Father had instilled her with. 

The dangers of artificial life had haunted her since her early childhood and even though Data had thawed her reservations beyond all belief, the nostalgia remained with eerie depth.

Kristen crossed the room and sat down on one the cold, hard floor. Head in her hands, she closed her eyes and tried to stay calm. 

A memory surfaced; one which showcased her first experience of entering Data’s personal quarters and how terrified she had felt at the sheer thought of Lore being in there, even if he was dismantled and unable to harm her. She’d had a sick fantasy of him stumbling through the doors with wires jutting from his neck, their tips sparking and spitting. Of course, all had been fine in the end and she had soon grown to appreciate Data’s quarters much more than her own, finding them comfortable and filled with a clinical sort of tranquillity, but still... 

The ghost – electronic or not – of Lore had been in her life for much longer than Kristen had realised. Now he was back, and more deranged than ever, her sense of dread was her only constant companion.

The door opened suddenly and Kristen squinted in the semi-darkness, looking up from the floor. She expected Ria to be there, as she had wandered in late at night a couple of times before, if only to stand there in the corner and make a low snarling noise in the back of her throat. Her eyes had been completely dark and the ugly scars on her face and head from Lore’s ‘experiments’ had her appearing quite horrific. Lore would come and fetch her eventually, always amused at his zombified sidekick and her feral ways. 

Instead of Ria hovering like a ghoul in the doorway, Kristen saw Lore step out of the shadows. Instantly, and quite against her will, she flinched and inhaled a gasp of fright. 

‘Hello, Kristen,’ he said.

‘What have you done with Yates?’ she asked. 

Lore crossed the room with the peculiar shuffle-stride she had gotten used to seeing, ignoring the question at first. He came to a rest near the shelves and poured a glass of water, his eyes on her all the time. ‘Don’t worry about your friend. He’s getting on famously with the others,’ he replied eventually.

‘Are Jones and Jijesh still alive?’ 

‘Yes. Well… in a sense they are.’ He quirked an eyebrow at her with dark humour. 

‘Oh…’

He offered her the glass of water.

‘No, thank you,’ she said.

‘Your refusal to eat or drink is a ridiculous protest,’ he said.

‘I don’t care,’

‘Drink this,’ he said, his tone become clipped.

‘No, I won’t,’

‘Let me put it this way – you’re going to need your physical strength over the next few days, so replenish yourself _now._ I won’t be so lenient when I’ve started to experiment on you,’ Lore warned.

‘I don’t _care_.’ Kristen lifted her chin.

‘Oh, you Starfleet officers. So full of blind courage. You do make me laugh.’ 

Lore wasn’t laughing, however. 

He turned to set the glass of water down again and then turned back to her, his expression completely serious. Finding strength from some unnameable source, Kristen stared right back at him, even if it hurt her heart to do it. How could someone who was a twin in almost every way to Data be so evil and so cruel? He had that unique handsomeness that she’d long been attracted to, but with Lore… the madness behind those golden eyes turned them cold and alien. 

‘I gather you’ll be starting on me tonight?’ she asked, breaking the silence. ‘Doing what you’ve done to my colleagues?’

‘Nope,’ he replied in a casual tone, ‘you have information I want and I’m going to extract it from you before I’m going to start testing you. I already told you that you’d be interrogated, so it shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Soon you will join me in the lab and then hopefully, I’ll be able to figure out where I went wrong with Ria and the others. That’s all you’ll be good for by then.’

Kristen gazed at him, expecting the fear to clench in her gut as a response. It didn’t come this time ( _am I in shock?_ ) and so she supposed her spirit was more broken than she’d thought previously. ‘Will you use… pain relief?’ she asked.

‘That depends on how you behave,’ he said. ‘If you give me what I want, then I will prevent you any unnecessary suffering… when the time comes. If you irritate me or become awkward, I will gladly operate on you without anaesthesia.’

She looked away from him then. 

‘It would be a grim end for you, wouldn’t it? Perishing in physical and emotional distress, at the hands of someone who looks just like your sweetheart?’ Lore asked, amused.

‘I suppose it would be, yes,’ she whispered.

A period of silence passed. Kristen felt Lore’s eyes on her, but for the time being she just couldn’t face him. It was bad enough hearing him say such terrible things in Data’s voice without the added insult of them coming from a mouth that she dearly loved. The room was filled with shadows and outside the weather remained calm and almost serene. Somewhere from beyond the open door, a clock was ticking.

‘I’m going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer them truthfully,’ he said.

Kristen nodded, still looking at the floor.

‘Ria told me that Data’s emotion chip is fully activated. Data displayed emotional reactions in front of her. Did he create a new chip or did he use the one he took from me?’

‘He used the one you took from him originally,’ she replied, ‘the one your Father made for him,’

‘Was it activated when you met him?’

‘Why do you want to know that?’

Lore stared at her for a long moment. Then he picked up a crystal from a shelf. He examined it momentarily, having her wonder what on earth he was doing, and then he suddenly threw it at the wall above Kristen’s head. The movement was so swift she did not sense it coming and so she nearly jumped out of her skin when it shattered all around her. He had thrown it _hard_ and the sound was ear-splitting. She was showered with shards and rock-dust and the sheer shock of it had her start to shake.

‘ _I_ ask the questions and _you_ answer them. That is how this works,’ he said, very slowly.

Kristen’s heart was pounding with fear.

‘Do you understand me?’ he asked.

‘Y-yes,’ she replied.

‘Was the emotion chip activated when you met Data?’

‘It was a-activated before I m-met him,’

‘And did he have problems adapting to the new sensations it brought?’

‘Yes,’ she whispered. With every answer she gave Lore, she felt as though she was betraying Data to the worst possible degree, but despite that painful feeling she could not deny the purity of her terror and how it was speaking for her, forcing words out of her mouth that she did not want to speak.

‘How is he now?’

‘I don’t understand…’

‘How is he functioning now he has had the chip installed for a long time?’

‘Oh,’ she said. Needing to think for a moment, she allowed herself to have a little silence before attempting an answer. The question was not an easy one. ‘He’s just… n-normal. There are some differences here and there, but… he’s j-just D-Data…’

Lore considered her, taking the information in. His eyes moved in that subtle way that Kristen recognised from Data, as though he were reading some invisible text. It was very uncomfortable to watch and so she looked down to her uniform and began to wipe the dust and shards away from the crystal. Some of the pieces were very sharp indeed and a sharp pain in her left index finger indicated she had cut herself. Mindless to it, she brushed at her arms and then faced him again, her nervousness intense.

‘What sort of differences?’ he asked her.

Kristen swallowed. 

_I’m so sorry, Data. I’m so scared, I can’t seem to hold my tongue._

‘He can be sensitive to new experiences,’ she admitted, ‘t-that’s why he was assigned to me in the f-first place. He… doesn’t go through t-things like a human would, as you well know,’

‘Has that been hard for you?’ He smiled a little, chilling her.

Again, Kristen wanted to ask why he wanted to know such a thing. Like some of his other random lines of questioning, it didn’t make sense to her. ‘No,’ she replied.

‘I find that difficult to believe,’ he scoffed, ‘in recorded history, you are the first woman in existence to be romantically involved and emotionally engaged with a sentient, artificial lifeform. You’re telling me that’s been an easy thing to go through?’

‘We’ve had our ups and downs, but all relationships have their hardships,’ Kristen said.

Lore considered her in silence, his expression unreadable.

‘Can I say something?’ she asked.

He inclined his head to grant her permission.

‘I’m not the first woman in existence to have loved an android. Ria fell for you long before I even knew Data. I’m not trying to be smart by pointing that out, I just wanted to make a point of saying that-’

‘Be quiet,’ he said.

Kristen closed her mouth and looked down at the floor.

‘I suggest you don’t talk about things you know nothing about. You’re really not in a place where you should be testing my patience,’ Lore snapped.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘That wasn’t my intention.’

Lore picked up the glass of water again and stood away from the table. In a few short movements he was right in front of her and bending down. Kristen fought the urge to shrink away from his close proximity and froze where she was sitting, her eyes wide. 

Seeing Lore up-close like that only reinforced the sense of surreality that her life has she had known it had come to a screeching halt and been replaced by something much akin to a nightmare. Those back on the _Enterprise_ thought that she was safe and well at the Academy and she had no doubts whatsoever that Soshi was still sending messages to Data via her PADD to assure him she was ‘fine’. 

Nobody was coming for her. Nobody knew that anything was amiss.

_I’m going to die here…_

She looked into Lore’s golden eyes and felt her heart thudding. He looked so much like Data it made her stomach hurt. ‘Drink this water,’ he said, handing her the glass again.

Kristen took it and did as she was told, not hesitating this time. Her throat had become dry and the cool liquid was actually something of a relief once she swallowed it. 

‘We’ll talk again tomorrow,’ Lore said, ‘I’ll be working with the others for most of the day and Ria requires a fair amount of my attention, but when I can, I’ll be back. I expect you to sleep and eat what’s left of your provisions. If you don’t, you will be punished.’

She put the glass down on the floor and didn’t say anything.

‘Also, I want you to think over what we’ve talked about. Think about Data and what you know about him. You’ll be singing like a bird for me over the next few days and there’s nothing about your affair I don’t want to know about,’

‘Lore, if you plan on turning me into what Ria has become… or if you’re going to kill me… then why should I talk?’ she asked in a quiet voice.

He smiled a toxic smile. ‘There is one reason and one reason only. I can inflict a great deal of pain on you. If you won’t choose to tell me what I want to know, then I will _make_ you do it. You’re a weak and fragile organic being who can be made to suffer in a multitude of ways. I know lots of ways to hurt you, Counselor. I’ve given it a great deal of thought,’

‘Why?’

Lore didn’t punish Kristen for asking that question, nor did he reprimand her for it. He tilted his head in a way that was eerily reminiscent of his brother and then looked into her wide, terrified eyes. ‘Because you are the one thing I have that I can use to get Data where it really hurts. If I killed Picard he would be sad and he would grieve. If I killed that blind Engineer he’s friends with, it would hurt him. But when I pull your mind to bits and then send you back to him in pieces, he will be completely destroyed.’ 

Kristen felt faint suddenly. 

Lore stood up and continued to look down at her for a moment, a faint smile on his face. ‘Then Data and I will be even for all of the things he’s done to me. You _know_ what I’m talking about.’

She did, of course, not that she confirmed it. 

‘You’ll sleep now. We’ll continue this tomorrow,’ he said, finishing their first of what was to be many of his interrogations. Shuffling and dragging his left leg a little more than usual, he turned and headed over to the doorway. There, he turned and looked back at Kristen for several seconds. As controlled as he had been during their time together, suppressing his madness to keep their interaction productive, it was clear to her that he was enjoying her discomfort and fear very much. 

‘Lore?’ she said, before he left.

‘Yes?’

‘I hope that… if we are going to talk more, you might think twice about what you’re doing. I hope that I can… get to know you.’

Lore smiled, as though expecting her attempt at reasoning with him. She was a Starfleet Counselor and had trained for much of her adult life in psychology and so it was only natural that her fright would lead her to saying something along those lines. In a way, she had meant every word but in the silence that followed her uttering, even Kristen realised how clichéd it had sounded. Her words had been predictable and empty and they both knew it. 

She looked down at her hands and saw blood running down her finger, fresh from the cut one of the crystal shards had made. 

Lore left the room without responding to what she said and closed the door behind him. 

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Some feedback would be appreciated :)


	16. The Lab

_But the stars that marked our starting fall away._  
We must go deeper into greater pain,  
For it is not permitted that we stay - Dante Alighieri 

The sun was heavy in the sky when Kristen woke with a start the next day. 

After Lore had left her, she had remained on the floor for a while and then dragged herself to the area of the room where Lieutenant Yates had liked to sit in before he’d been taken. Slouching there and thinking about what had come to pass between herself and Lore, she had fallen into an uneasy slumber that was punctuated with nightmares. Some of them involved her escaping from the lab and Lore hunting her through the jungle and other ones were about Ria, lunging at her from pockets of darkness that smelt of smoke and blood. 

Now fully awake and aware of where she was and what was _really_ happening, Kristen willed the shadows in her mind to clear. She was still a prisoner on Terlina III and Data still hadn’t managed to find her because he still had no idea she was missing. Even though she had slept for hours, fragmented as her rest had been, she felt more tired than ever. Her back was hurting from sleeping in an upright position and when she got to her feet, her neck also began to ache. 

Once again, Kristen thought of the simple luxury of bathing and how much she longed to get clean and soak her body in hot water. So much time had passed (she estimated that it was easily over two weeks) without her having the chance to wash and her skin felt clammy all over. She smelt of stale sweat.

After standing at the window and eating the fruit and bread ration that Lore had commanded she eat before his next visit, Kristen poured a glass of water and went over to the window to drink it. The hunger strike was pointless now that the others were gone. She would be next, when Yates was dead, and not eating or drinking wouldn’t give her even a few more seconds of time. 

The winds were up again by the look of things and the jungle was stirring quite madly outside the windows. Kristen estimated that in around twenty minutes time the sun would go down completely and the room she was in would once again become dark. To see a little daylight, even if it was diminishing, was quite pleasant and Kristen basked in it whilst she could.

The fading light had her think about Data and the beautiful painting of a sunset he had given her back when they were still getting to know one another properly. Back in their quarters on the _Enterprise_ , that painting was hung in their bedroom. It remained her favourite gift of all the tokens Data had given her and she felt it always would be, given the sentimentality they both had attached to it. 

What Kristen wouldn’t give to be back in that room with Data, she could barely comprehend. She missed him so _much_ and was so terribly worried about him, he was almost always on her mind. 

She looked down at her hand, where her engagement ring had once been. It had sparkled and glistened – such beauty in what was the ugliest situation she’d ever known – but now it was gone, destroyed, and her hope was heading in the same direction.

To think that she had been dreading leaving Data just for a few weeks, back when she and her fellow officers still believed the child psychology conferences to be real events – the irony was too much now that she knew she would likely never see him again. She had not wanted to leave him and he hadn’t been particularly content with her having to go either. 

_I should have stayed with you, love. I should have stayed… I’m sorry for all of this… I’m sorry that we’ll never see each other again…_

Knowing by now that those worried feelings Data had carried had definitely been a foreshadowing of what was to come, Kristen turned from the window and sat back down on the floor with a haunted look on her face. Her colleagues had disappeared with Lore and she had no doubts that if she ever saw Jijesh, Jones or Yates again, they would look as horrific as Ria did, probably with the same wounds and cold, yet furious eyes.

The door opened and when Lore walked into the room, Kristen lifted her head at once and looked up at him. He appeared to be in a pretty bad mood, at least judging by the intensity of his expression. She wondered if she should greet him in some way to spare herself his temper, or whether she should wait until he spoke to her first. 

He came to a standstill by the window, facing her, and leant against the wall. Her eyes strayed to the bare circuit-boards and trailing wires that made up his feet, but only for a brief moment. He’d caught her staring before and hadn’t liked it. When she met his eyes again, he’d tilted his head in a way that reminded Kristen so much of Data, it almost took her breath away. 

‘We’ll be taking a little walk together this evening,’ he announced.

‘Alright…’ she returned.

‘I thought a trip through to the main lab might be in order. It’s time we got things moving and I really should show you around.’

Kristen nodded, slowly. ‘How are my friends?’ she asked.

‘Jones has failed. Yates and Jijesh are doing quite well,’

‘Failed?’

‘She’s dead, Counselor.’

Kristen took the news stoically with only the lightest flinch. She had expected as much to happen eventually but it made her heart ache when she accepted that Jones had succumbed to the savagery of Lore’s experiments. All four of her colleagues had been good officers and great people so the sense of loss was sickening, now that another one of them had died. 

Knowing she couldn’t grieve at that moment, couldn’t let on just how upset the news had made her, Kristen said nothing at all and maintained eye contact with her kidnapper.

‘Stop staring at me and get up,’ Lore snapped.

She did as she was told at once. The co-operation did not come easy, but Kristen believed that all of Lore’s threats had been truthful ones and she wanted to keep things calm, if possible. 

He crossed the room to her, shuffling as always, and then grabbed her arm at the elbow. The physical contact was both familiar and unwelcome and his nearness was painful for many reasons. Kristen was guided across the room by a firm grip, through the doorway and to an area she hadn’t seen before. 

The main body of the lab was dark and lit only by cybernetic equipment and thin, panel-like lights. A set-up of glass tubing and bottles containing some neon liquid was at one side of the room and at the other, atop a huge rectangular table, the fossilised skull of a dinosaur was mounted. A poster of adult male human anatomy was hung near some bookshelves and near a tall, potted plant, a ladder extended up to some higher shelves containing hundreds of books. A blackboard filled with mathematical equations was lit by another overhead panel and just to its side, an ornate and probably antique wooden chair. 

Lore reached that portion of the lab and slung Kristen into the chair. Landing with a thump, she hit her head and also jarred her elbow on the carved armrest. He walked over to take another chair, one that was smaller, and lifted it with ease. 

Setting it down opposite her, Lore sat and laced his fingers in his lap. For someone blessed with a form as identically graceful to Data’s, he certainly didn’t carry himself with the same poise as his younger brother. He slumped back a little, legs open and reclined with his usual arrogance; a rogue in every sense. 

Rubbing at her elbow and breathing hard, Kristen looked around the room and tried to take in the details of her new surroundings as quickly as possible. There was a visible exit situated on a higher level and there were many things that would be useful as a weapon, even against an android… and most exciting of all she saw a Starfleet communicator, maybe even her own, gleaming on a side table. 

‘We’re going to start with what you know about me,’ Lore said, breaking the silence.

Kristen tore her eyes from the comm badge and looked at him instead. ‘I know very little about you,’ she replied.

‘That’s a lie. Start with what Data has told you about me and remember what I said about _making_ you talk, if I have to. If I think you’re holding back or lying, I will hurt you.’ Lore pinned her with his eyes, both calm and completely domineering.

Kristen was scared. ‘O-okay,’ she said.

‘And don’t bother making eyes at that communicator over there,’ he added, ‘it’s deactivated and stripped of its workings, much in the way that your sweetheart would have me be.’

Kristen felt as though her heart had stopped for a moment. Her hand halted its rubbing of her elbow and she watched as Lore flashed a knowing smile her way. He was so unbalanced mentally that it was easy to forget at times just how sharp he was capable of being, how even the smallest details were never lost on him. Still amused by her look of surprise, Lore gestured with a hand that she should start talking and after a throbbing of disappointment in her belly had risen and then rapidly begun to fall again, Kristen managed to think clearly enough to speak. 

‘Data told me that when he met you, he gave you his trust-’ she started to say.

‘Hardly,’ Lore interrupted, ‘do you know that the first time I offered to help him become more human, his reaction was to say that he would need to tell the Captain about our conversation? Such a tattle-tale.’

She blinked and then waited a moment. ‘Should I… go on?’

‘Yes, of course. Forgive my rudeness,’ he replied, with a hint of sarcasm.

Kristen took a breath and then slowly continued. ‘He said that… he trusted you and you betrayed not only him, but the rest of the crew as well in luring the Crystalline Entity to the _Enterprise._ Had he not fought you in the transporter room and then beamed you off the ship… everyone on board would have died.’

Lore smirked. ‘He had a point there. Go on. What else did he tell you?’

‘He told me that you and he were reunited with your Father here and that your Father tried to defend you when Data asked him to be cautious. You and I both know why your Father should have listened to him,’ Kristen said.

‘Yes, Data was always a smartass, but what can you do? It runs in the family.’

Lore spoke so much like a human at times it distracted Kristen and had her understand to some extent why the colonists on Omicron Theta had feared him so deeply. His speech, his way of lounging on furniture instead of sitting on it properly, the way he fused humour and dry wit so effortlessly; all of those things had Lore behaving so humanly at times that it bowled Kristen over. 

Data wasn’t like that. Even with his emotion chip activated, he still did not speak with such casual ease and the way he carried himself was graceful and controlled. 

They were so very different. 

Deciding to ignore Lore’s sarcastic remark, Kristen looked at him thoughtfully and then continued to speak. ‘Data told me that before he was forced to deactivate you. You used his emotion chip to send manipulative signals directly to his positronic net. You forced him to help you in kidnapping Captain Picard, Geordi and Deanna Troi and then you started to… experiment on them. You wanted to irradiate their brain cells and… you were in league with the Borg…’ She trailed off, realising that the fear was taking hold of her again as she recounted each degree of what she knew.

Lore clicked his tongue thoughtfully. ‘So, all in all, I haven’t been granted the best of reputations have I?’

‘What did you expect?’ she asked, shocked.

‘Nothing less than what you’ve told me,’ he returned, ‘did Data inform you about how I was dismantled the first time around? When I was left in bits whilst he was able to live a real life, join Starfleet, make friends, all of those things?’

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘we’ve talked about a lot, over time…’

‘Did he tell you about how our Father forgot about me completely? He moved here and spent his twilight years alone, following Data’s career from a distance and working on his damn emotion chip night and day. He didn’t even try to find _me,_ ’

‘No, I didn’t know about that,’ Kristen replied. She could see his temper rising, along with the underlying hurt she had begun to suspect he carried. ‘I don’t mind if you want to talk about it,’ she added, as a quiet afterthought.

‘Ah,’ he said, smiling savagely, ‘my would-be sister-in-law is offering me some counsel. How thoughtful of you,’

‘When you talk about Data and your Father, you look upset. Maybe it’s a weakness all humans have, something you’d be incapable of, but when someone is suffering we generally do our best to help them and make them feel better. It is part of our nature,’ Kristen tried to explain.

‘Are all humans as gracious as you?’ he shot back. 

Kristen knew that most of the contact he had had with humanoid lifeforms had resulted in their fear and disapproval of him, even if it was his fault entirely. It occurred to her for the first time that Lore was probably the bitterest individual she had ever come across. The loathing in his eyes was not only for her, but for so much more, maybe more than she’d ever truly know. They had only been conversing for a short period of time, but already he was radiating hatefulness and she could feel it like electricity crackling in the air. 

‘No, not all of us are gracious, Lore,’ she replied, ‘some of us are quite contemptible. But we do our best, for the most part.’

Lore looked away from her, laughing quietly at her words as though she’d told a joke. When he’d sobered himself and sighed the last of his amusement, he met her gaze again. ‘How long exactly was I kept in Data’s quarters before my burial here?’ he asked.

‘I’m not entirely sure,’ she replied.

‘Tell the truth,’ he snapped.

‘I _am_ telling you the truth.’

Lore stood then, very quickly. Kristen froze where she sat, her heart thudding in her chest. He bridged the gap between them with a few shuffling steps and then stood over her, eyes burning bright, and his hands on the arms of her chair. Their faces were mere inches apart. ‘ _Think_. I want to know exactly how long he kept me like that,’ he snarled.

‘I honestly do not know the answer to that question, Lore. I know you were in his quarters before I was posted to the _Enterprise_. That means it was certainly longer than a year or so,’ she said, trying to keep calm.

‘And you, nor anyone else who knew I was there, thought of my right to existence? You allowed me to remain there in bits, just like the first time I was taken apart, and when Data had his little accident and damaged his legs, nobody thought there was anything wrong with taking mine and using them as replacements? I was a box of spare parts, kept only for his personal use,’ Lore raged.

‘That was never the intention, Lore,’ she countered.

‘But those are the _facts_!’ he shouted, ‘Ria told me _exactly_ the way I had been put away in a box, shelved away and forgotten about! Surely you, the gracious Starfleet Counselor, should be able to perceive why I might find that hard to handle?! Had I done the same thing to Data, I would have been set upon by Starfleet and hunted down until he was retrieved and reactivated! And _then_ I would have been punished, disassembled, thrown away…’

Kristen watched as Lore’s fury mounted and just as she thought he might strike her or do something equally as unpleasant, he turned and walked back to his own chair, sat down and looked at the floor beneath his makeshift feet. 

‘It’s hard for me to comment on the fairness of what happened to you, because all I have heard are the basest of things… but for what it’s worth,’ she said, her chest tight with nervousness, ‘I know there was someone out there who worried and cared for you. When we met Ria, her love and devotion to you was unquestionable from the start. She longed for you… and missed you terribly when you left her.’

Lore nodded and then waved a hand, as though the entire affair was inconsequential to what they were talking about. ‘Irrelevant,’ he said. 

‘Surely not…’ Kristen attempted, ‘did she never mean anything to you?’

‘What business is that of yours?’ he spat, looking up to her slowly.

‘It isn’t my business. Of course it isn’t. But you can’t blame me for pointing that out, can you? You seem to think that nobody out there cared whether you were alive or dead and that isn’t true. You had someone who loved you, but-’

‘I performed surgical procedures on her that left her practically catatonic?’

‘Yes. She would have continued to love you if you hadn’t broken her mind. She would have given you just as much love as I have given Data. You gave her reasons for her to feel that way. I know you did, otherwise she never would have fallen for you so deeply. She loved you and you hurt her…’

‘Spare me the guilt-trip,’ he snapped.

‘Please don’t hurt me,’ she said suddenly, imploring him with her eyes, ‘don’t keep doing this. Don’t keep hurting everyone and everything in your life… don’t be the monster you are reputed to be. Change. Let me go. Prove that you can be someone better.’ 

Lore stared at Kristen for several, long moments and she looked back at him, her heart in her throat and her mouth dry. She knew she had pushed this to the limit, but attempting to reason with her captor was an engrained psychological method of survival that she had been taught at the Academy and now it was in her blood. 

She could not remain passive entirely to what was happening to her; it went against everything she believed in and all she had been taught. If she could get Lore to see her as more than just an object for his hatred and disposal, she might stand a chance of survival. His humanistic way of behaving may have been surprising to observe, especially considering what she knew of Data and his struggle to be more like those around him, but it surely left a window of opportunity. 

If Lore could hurt and feel anger and pain, then he could surely feel compassion?

Surely she stood at chance at making him feel something, anything, that might get him to wake up and realise what he’d become?

‘Please,’ she said, ‘please, release me and let me go home. You won’t feel any better even if you do kill me. Even if you do hurt Data, you _still_ won’t feel any better than you do now. It’s an endless cycle for you. Break it, please… give yourself a chance!’

‘How long have you been involved with my brother?’ he asked. His expression was tight, his jaw squared with contempt and his eyes searingly yellow.

Kristen dropped her head and sighed. He was unreachable. 

She had been dreading this line of questioning too, for it was personal and direct in ways that were beyond uncomfortable. Lore had skirted over it yesterday and from the start she had known without question that he was irritated by the fact that Data had come far enough emotionally to be able to commit to someone in a romantic sense. 

A lot had happened since Lore had been deactivated the last time and he was not privy to the majority of the details, even though Soshi and Ria had spilled their knowledge to him. Data had advanced to an incredible extent and been through so very much, not only personally but within his career as well. His whole life had changed.

Not wanting to betray Data and yet also mindful of Lore’s temper, Kristen answered the question truthfully, maintaining eye contact. ‘Several months,’

‘I see. Dare I ask what you see in him?’

‘I can’t answer that,’

‘Yes, you can. You can and you _will,_ ’ he snapped.

‘Why are you interested? You ask the sorts of questions that hurt you when they’re answered. I don’t want you to feel as though you have to punish me, or cause me pain, but it bothers me that you’re being so masochistic,’ she told him, ‘why would you do that to yourself?’

Lore made a face. It was half-amused and half-bitter. ‘Masochistic? Why would I submit myself to such a weak and _human_ way of thinking? I’m not the same as you, if you hadn’t noticed. I’m not some bag of bones and guts, driven by a frail organic mind,’

‘I know,’ she said, in a tone that she hoped was soft, ‘and it might be out of place for me to talk to you about this, but through knowing Data I have come to study android psychology to a depth that has never been fully studied before,’ 

‘Good for you,’

‘One of the first things I came to understand about the emotion chips your Father gave you both is that he strived to replicate human emotions, reactions and even neuroses through them to a very precise degree. I can’t say I know _you_ very well, but I know that Data has fears and hopes and worries like everyone else. I’ve seen him behave in a masochistic fashion before, when we lost some crew members from an away team he was supervising. He worked himself too hard because he felt guilty for their deaths. You and Data are much more human than you both give yourselves, or your Father, credit for,’

‘You talk to me as though I am sitting here _wanting_ your acceptance, as though I want the same things as Data. I don’t. You saying I am ‘almost human’ is like telling me I’m weak. Don’t confuse me with Data. We are _not_ the same person,’ Lore replied, his anger both quiet and intense. 

Lore stood then and crossed the room. At the central table, he picked up a small silver device with mechanical prongs jutting from it and then stood for a second to look down at it, turning it over in his hands. Kristen watched this with a sense of mounting dread; knowing that whatever the equipment was for likely wasn’t pleasant and that using it would in some way involve her participation. 

She got to her feet and turned her head to the main door of the lab. There was no chance of it being unlocked of course, but it drew her eyes all the same.

‘You’re not thinking of running?’ Lore asked, in a bored tone, glancing to where she stood.

Kristen looked over to him, her heart racing. ‘You’re going to hurt me, right?’

‘It may be on the cards, if you don’t learn who dictates the conversations around here. I’m getting sick of you nattering on, playing Counselor to me as though I need your help…’ He looked down at the device again, handling it carefully.

‘I’ve talked too much. I’m sorry,’ she blurted. 

‘I did warn you, Kristen. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.’

Lore started to move then and at once she darted out to the centre of the room. He came to stand at the side of the table and matching his movements, Kristen ran to the opposite side, taking hold of a wooden chair and preparing to lift it off the floor. Lore laughed at that, amused at her choice of weapon. Keeping it between them as a shield, Kristen started to step backwards away from the table. Lore pursued her, as fast as he could given his awkward lower legs. 

‘We both know I’m going to disarm you, so why don’t you be a clever girl and put the chair down _now?_ ’ he said, his mouth a thin line.

‘How can I acquiesce to you hurting me?’ Kristen returned, ‘I’m not going to freely submit to your cruelty. I’d be mad to do so! Anyone would be!’

‘If you come to me now, I won’t cause you the agony that I can guarantee you will receive if I have to come over there and get you,’ he countered, eyes blazing.

‘That’s not enough, Lore.’

He laughed out loud then, actually pausing in crossing the room to bend back and press a hand to his stomach. ‘Not _enough?_ ’

‘Let’s just cool this down… there’s no need for you to hurt me. I annoyed you by talking too much and I’ve apologised for it. It won’t happen again. Sometimes, when I’m scared, I do have a tendency to let my mouth run away with me. If you keep frightening me, I will talk more and annoy you. If we end this calmly with no violence, it will be easier for me to keep quiet in the future.’ Kristen stopped moving also, some five feet away from the laboratory door. Looking into his eyes, she willed herself to keep control. 

He looked back at her, the smile gone from his face and something else there instead, something both petulant and thoughtful. He considered her words for just over a minute and then stepped her way again. 

‘Please think about what I’m saying, Lore,’ Kristen begged, standing her ground, ‘if you want information from me, then let’s keep this civil. Accept my apology and we can keep talking.’

A silence pooled within which the wind outside could be heard softly on the windows. Across from where she was standing, a diagram illuminated in vivid blue depicted the exterior anatomy of an adult male android. To its side, something that looked like a case for a body, approximately the same width and height as the android slowly advancing on her, was also hung vertically on the wall. Kristen looked to that case and then turned to look the other way, hoping to see something that might better to use as a weapon than the chair she still held in her hands. 

Lore was moving, slowly, but the look on his face had changed again to a much calmer expression.

‘Can’t we call a truce?’ she asked again, wishing he would say something, ‘I am truly sorry for aggravating you. Let’s co-operate. There’s really no need for things to get nasty,’

‘But I’m not used to playing nice, Kristen. It might hurt my reputation if I give you another chance. Can you imagine how it would sound if people found out that I let you verbally coax me into an assuredness of your physical safety?’ he said, sounding as though it was a joke but the sentiment not reflected in his eyes. 

‘People might be prepared to trust you if they found out. I’m prepared to trust you if you’ll give me the chance,’ she said.

‘That might be the most stupid decision you will ever make,’

‘It’s mine to make, Lore.’

To demonstrate her point, Kristen turned and slowly put the chair down on the floor. Then she looked back to him and held her hands up in a willing surrender. Remaining still, even though he was now stepping up the gangway to stand right in front of her, she kept her breathing steady and her eyes on his. If she was going to bargain for her survival, she would have to meet him on a level he could understand – frank honesty with a touch of submission. 

With no idea as to whether Lore was going to break her neck or respond to her attempt at diplomacy in a level-headed manner, she let him come up close and didn’t flinch. Face-to-face with him, Kristen couldn’t help but see someone else, someone calmer in his eyes. Their golden hue was so identical to Data’s it weakened the strength in her posture. 

Lore noted that, seeing her sway slightly, one hand lowering to her side and the other reaching out. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ he asked.

‘I feel faint…’

‘You haven’t been eating. I _told_ you to eat.’

Lore grabbed the hand that was still almost on his arm and used it to steady her. Kristen leant on him a little, head still spinning. ‘God, you look so much like him… it’s too much… I can’t take it…’

‘Physically identical in every way, unfortunately for me,’ he agreed.

Begrudgingly, Lore helped her down the gangway. When they were back on the main floor, he snatched his hand away from hers and replaced it on her back. Kristen expected a hit to the back of the head again or perhaps to be throttled, but instead he grasped her shirt and kept her steady until they reached the chairs they had sat on moments earlier. 

His chivalry ended there. With a hard shove, he propelled her onto the larger one and she landed with a thud, once again jarring her elbow. Wincing and still holding back on the need to pass out, Kristen grasped her arm and looked up at him. 

There was light behind him that gave him a surreal sort of halo. His expression was softly twisted, a subtle malevolence that evoked all of the tales Data had told her about him. They truly were opposites in every sense when it came to personality. Their physical appearances were indistinguishable, but when it came down to feelings and intentions, they were galaxies apart.

‘Why do you hate Data so much?’ she asked, the fear and pain overriding her previous calm, ‘what is it that makes you want to hurt him so badly?’

‘I should think that’s perfectly obvious, especially to someone like you who claims to be an expert on psychology,’ he snapped.

‘Jealousy? Is that what this is all about?!’ she yelled, ‘you’re so jealous that you won’t stop trying to hurt him until you’ve ruined his life? Why the hell do you think he owes you anything?’

‘He _does_ owe me! Data owes me more than you could ever understand! I’ve been second best to him since my activation. I’ve been dismantled and poked around with, used as some sort of limb donor and buried in a box in the ground! Data owes me everything I had to lose out on and when it’s over I’m going to take him apart and stick him in the earth just like he did to me!’ Lore shouted.

Kristen began to fume, her eyes feeling hot and watery. ‘You’re just a scared little boy trying to pick on his brother for all the failings you have and can’t face up to! You’re not jealous of him for getting the better breaks, you’re jealous that you’re NOT like him and you never will be. You want to _be_ him and it drives you crazy!’

Lore’s expression turned to one of total fury. 

The last thing Kristen saw before she was knocked unconscious was the side of his fist and then fleetingly, the dark green carpet on the floor.


	17. Transmutation

_Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightforward pathway had been lost - Dante Alighieri_

Some ten hours later, the sunlight from outside the lab scored onto Kristen’s eyes and began to rouse her. Murmuring, she turned her head away from the stringent rays, seeking some reprieve from the brightness. 

‘Rise and shine, sleeping beauty,’ a voice whispered. 

Familiarity made her smile at first, the receding weight of her dreams rendering her blissfully unaware of where she was or who she was with. In her imagination, Kristen was with Data and everything was exactly as it should be. His hand touched the side of her head and she leaned into it, grateful for the inorganic warmth. Her hair was stroked a little too and it felt glorious to have some comfort from him, the affection soothing a thousand aches, both mental and physical. 

Then, with a sudden and plunging coldness in her stomach, realisation crept up on her. 

Opening her eyes, she looked up at Lore and found him smiling. ‘You’ve been out for a very long time, Counselor,’ he said.

Kristen jerked her head away from his hand and turned to see what was going on around her. She was on a semi-vertical chair, one she had noticed before. It looked more like a medi-bed than somewhere to sit and rest, like something she’d expect to see in sickbay back on the _Enterprise_. Her arms and legs had been expertly bound to the chair with wide strips of metallic tape and another piece was tight over her throat, making it difficult to swallow. 

Kristen struggled to move, wanting to test her binds, and found that it was almost impossible. Her head began to throb suddenly as the last tides of her dreams fully receded. It hurt so much she moaned aloud. 

‘You hit me…’ she murmured, remembering his fist as it had struck her unconscious.

‘You asked for it, Kristen. I told you not to test my patience,’ Lore replied.

‘And there I was…’ she whispered, ‘thinking that you’d listened to me… that you might be able to deal with an offence without becoming violent,’

‘Ah, you thought you’d reached me, did you? Turned the bad twin good?’

‘I’m not a miracle worker, Lore. If your Father couldn’t make you good, then I don’t stand a damned chance,’ she said.

Something happened then, very quickly and very painfully. The fingernails on her left hand were suddenly stinging so hard it had her scream with shock. Peering down with some difficulty, her nerves stinging and burning, she saw the device Lore had been toying with the night before. Her palm was strapped to its casing and the prongs that jutted from its end were attached to each of her fingertips. 

Working it out suddenly, Kristen realised that the device had something that allowed the prongs to rest on the fleshy beds beneath each fingernail. The pain had come from them expanding and effectively prying her nails very slowly from her skin. She started to shake, unable to move her fingers and yet desperate to retract them from the device. 

‘This is a method of behaviour correction, if you will indulge the notion. I know it’s a little primitive, but this thing has worked wonders for me in the past. It took a while to make it, but it became a hobby whilst I was waiting for Ria to finish with some of my diagnostics. She fixed me up and I fixed this little thing up. Quite clever, don’t you think?’ he said, smiling.

Kristen couldn’t reply at first. She was too terrified.

‘I used it on Ria so much, she lost her fingernails altogether. I don’t claim to know much about women, but I gather it to be a rather prominent feature to lose for no good reason. She was certainly rather… distressed...’

‘Lore… please don’t do this…’ she said, her voice sounding very far away, ‘I told you last night… we can talk without needing to resort to violence. You don’t need to do this,’

‘Yes, we talked, and then you lost your temper and had a most unfortunate little tantrum. Had you kept yourself together and held your tongue, perhaps we would be exchanging ideas in a more conventional manner. You put yourself here, Kristen,’ he said.

Lore moved away from the table and she couldn’t see where he was. 

The instrument on her hand remained motionless and though the pain in her fingers and at the back of her head was still acute, Kristen was grateful for the chance to catch her breath and think. The more she annoyed him, the more he would prise her fingernails away from their rightful places. That was, she could tell already even from the tiny example he had given her of the devices’ intensity, going to be sheer agony. 

In her mind, she sent an apology to Data, wherever he was. She closed her eyes and said sorry for everything she’d told Lore already and all she was undoubtedly about to tell him from now on. 

_I love you, Data. I miss you… and I’m sorry for what I’ve done._

The thought of Data walking through the door and putting an end to all of this torture and fear was like a beautiful dream and she clung to the thought, smiling absently to herself, until Lore came back to her. ‘What’s so amusing?’ he asked.

‘I’m just dreaming…’ she replied, ‘thinking of better places than here… better people than you…’

‘Well, it’s time to focus, so snap out of it.’ He put his hand to her chin and held her there, looking down at her with fierce eyes of citrine. ‘You’re here with me in my Father’s house and nobody is about to beam down and save your skin. _Concentrate_ or I’ll put some additional pressure on your little manicure,’

‘ _Alright,_ ’ she said, straining to speak, ‘just please don’t hurt me again…’

Lore stroked his thumb down the side of her jaw and then let it sweep slowly across her lower lip, watching his own movements. Kristen gazed up at him as he did that, wondering whether he was trying to lure her into a false sense of security, or if he’d finally lost his mind altogether. The affection he was showing her was bizarrely intrusive and worst of all, it felt good to her on some level and that was a horrible thing to consider. 

‘I want to know more about your relationship with my brother,’ he said, ‘I did attempt that conversation last night, but you chose to be uncooperative, of course.’

Kristen turned her eyes away from his. A moment later, he withdrew his hand and at that, she found her voice. ‘We’ve been together for months… we live together on the _Enterprise_ … he makes me really happy… and I miss him so much…’ she trailed off. The details were so personal and Kristen desperately didn’t want to have to divulge anything else. 

‘How did you come to be in a relationship?’ Lore supplied.

‘He was my patient, back when I was just a protégé Counselor,’ she began, hating that she was having to talk about such private things, ‘I was frightened of him at first, but when we got to know each other, we became very close as friends. I was already in a relationship at the time, with Soshi, and… Data asked me on a date… so I turned him down. Soshi hurt me, cheated on me, humiliated me and then left me for someone else…’

‘Go on,’ Lore said, hovering his hand near the torture device. 

Kristen nodded at once, desperate to avoid any more pain. ‘Soshi left me and Data was there to take care of me. He was such a good friend and he helped me so much. I soon… realised that I had loved him all along and that I’d just been frightened of those feelings. We dated and then… we became a couple…’

‘You were afraid of Data?’ Lore said, incredulous and amused, ‘you didn’t fall helplessly into his arms?’

‘No, of course not. It takes time to work someone out when you have feelings for them. It took us a long time… but it was worth the wait. _He_ was worth the wait. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. He’s my whole life. I love him with all of my heart.’

Lore looked down at her, eyes suddenly unreadable. ‘His artificiality wasn’t a problem for you?’

‘Yes… it was, but only at first, as I said. I was scared… I thought he might hurt me… it was stupid to think that. I guess I had my reasons, though…’

This line of conversation was so deeply personal to Kristen, it made her eyes fill with tears. Memories of her Father began to surface again of their own volition. Of course, her Father had warned her not to put her complete trust in technology and she had struggled at times to separate herself from those uneducated views. Now she was facing up to those dangers head-on and it was terrifying. 

If her Father were here now, he would surely be telling her that all of this was her fault. She shouldn’t have fraternized with artificial life, because then she would never be in this mess in the first place. Kristen tried to reason with herself, knowing in her heart that it wasn’t the artificiality that posed the threat, but rather the all-too-human personality that came from within its circuitry. 

Androids, whether good or evil, were not that way because of programming alone. Both Data and Lore had become fully-rounded beings through life experience and interactions with others. They were people, just like anyone else and their artificial status was not to blame when things went wrong.

‘He’s more than the sum of his parts, Lore… and so are you,’ she whispered, ‘if you’d just stay calm and listen to what I’m saying, we can maybe get along… I might be able to help you… please untie me and let me go. We can talk properly then…’

‘No. I like you better as you are,’ he said, ‘chasing you across the lab may have been mildly exciting, but you’re better suited to your current predicament. I like you tied up.’

Kristen watched Lore come closer. He tilted his head a little and appeared to be waiting for her to react to his words. She remained silent, no longer sure of what direction to take with him. She’d tried diplomacy, kindness, simple reasoning and even anger, not that any of those things had helped. Lore was in control of everything and always had been. 

‘Is Data easy to be with?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ she replied, ‘very much so,’

‘No arguments? No… misunderstandings?’

‘Of course, those things come with the territory,’

‘What do you fight about?’

Kristen dropped her gaze. 

There was something about the way he spoke to her that had her feel that he was relishing the prospect of hearing Data’s potential romantic failings a little too much. It was so transparently jealous for Lore to be eager about such a thing that it turned her stomach, keeping her quiet for a while. Her thoughts turned to the question in hand and with severe reluctance, she considered what she was being asked, knowing she would need to come up with a believable answer to prevent her fingernails being ripped out. 

The problems, few as they were, she’d had with Data had been quite different to anything she had encountered in her previous relationships. He did all of the little things, was extremely attentive and kind, but he sometimes made mistakes that she had to work with him to mend, such as when he’d given her a lovebite in a visible place and she’d then been told off by the Captain and ordered not to let it happen again. 

For almost all of his life, Data had lived alone and functioned alone as a single being with his only responsibilities being to his ship and crew and to Spot. Kristen never doubted how much Data loved her, but it didn’t make him perfect when it came to how they interacted and that was what made him so human. No-one was perfect.

Data made mistakes and so did she and every other person she knew who was in love with someone. They had good times and bad ones too. 

‘Looks as though I touched a nerve. Is there trouble in paradise?’ Lore asked with a smirk, interrupting her reverie.

‘No… not at all. I was just thinking about your question. Data and I love each other very much,’ she replied. 

‘Then it won’t matter when you answer me and tell me what you two fight about.’

Kristen exhaled, somewhat shakily, knowing that Lore wasn’t going to appreciate the truths she was about to deliver. ‘We don’t fight. Sometimes there are mild disagreements or mistakes. I need time alone now and again and so does he… things get tense when affairs on the ship do… but we…’

‘Yes?’ Lore asked, his hand hovering above the device again in a silent threat. 

‘Sometimes…’ Kristen whispered, her thoughts becoming chaotic because of his pressurising. 

There had been a few hiccups within her relationship, but when she thought about Data and just how vital he had become to her, she couldn’t linger on the growing pains he’d had. He’d missed the mark on occasion, but his hunger to be with her and take care of her had always reigned supreme. He had always been soft of heart and gentle of intention. They were meant for each other and that was the reality of their situation. It was all that mattered. 

‘I don’t know what to tell you,’ she said, exasperated, ‘I want to give you what you want, Lore… but I can’t imagine up scenarios that haven’t happened. There have been no blazing fights between us. We have struggled along together at times, but we’re really happy. I love him to death. You might have destroyed the engagement ring he gave to me, but in my heart we’re still engaged, if not married. I want to be with him forever. I’m sorry… it’s the truth. It’s the truth, Lore. That’s all there is!’

He rolled his eyes and turned around, his back to her. Kristen watched him and started to count down from thirty in her head, expecting a jolt of pain to her hand or even worse by the time she’d run out of numbers. He walked off, out of sight, but she could sense that he was still in the room. Whether he was angry or amused by what she’d said was left to be seen. When she’d finished counting, she looked for Lore. 

Where was he? What was he doing?

‘So it would be… accurate… of me to assume that by keeping you captive and hurting you, I am also hurting Data?’ he asked her.

‘Lore, just ask me what you really want to know. You want to know if Data and I are close enough as a couple for my absence and torture to finish him emotionally, right?’ Kristen shot back.

‘That sort of information might be useful to me,’ he replied, wandering back to where she could see his face. He was smirking again.

‘It won’t finish him. He’s strong. It will hurt him, but if you’re expecting him to deactivate himself or something else just as histrionic, you’ll be disappointed. He’d know that I wouldn’t want that. He’d just do his best to find you and make you pay for what you’ve done,’ Kristen said.

‘A rather romantic thought, Counselor.’

His hand landed on the device and again her fingertips became alive with pain. Though Kristen had no idea of how far the probes were burrowing beneath her nails, she knew there wouldn’t be much further to go before the nails were ripped away completely from their beds. She screamed in agony and then squeezed her eyes shut. A light perspiration broke out on her forehead and in her mind she could see Lore enjoying her torment.

And then the pain stopped again, slowing to a hot and nauseating ebb. Kristen inhaled a sharp breath and held it in her lungs, on the verge of crying, wishing she could writhe away the discomfort. ‘W-why did you do t-that?’ she asked, sounding choked.

‘I’m really not sure. I suppose I just felt like it,’ Lore replied, ‘plus, the advantage of my being so spontaneous is that you’ll get so lost in your fear of me, you’ll become completely obedient to whatever I want from you,’

‘I _am_ afraid! I’m _terrified_ of you! Isn’t that clear to you by now?’ she asked, tears starting to meander down her cheeks.

At that, his eyes glanced away from hers and down to the lower part of her body. He frowned. Kristen wasn’t entirely sure why that was at first, but when she felt a hot wetness beginning to spread at the apex between her legs, it made perfect sense. Looking up at the ceiling with total embarrassment, she felt her face turn hot and red. 

As if he hadn’t degraded her enough already, this seemed a whole other world from what she’d been through so far. She had wet herself.

‘It’s coming clearer to me by the moment, Kristen,’ Lore said.

She found herself speechless, her mind devoid of coherency. 

‘I think this might be a good time to alter the tone of our discourse. We’ll remedy this… situation… and then continue later on.’

Indifferent and heartbroken, Kristen closed her eyes and allowed Lore to unfasten her hand from its implement of torture. When that was done he began to lift the strips of metallic tape that bound her body to the chair. Motionless, she said nothing when Lore helped her to sit upright and then lifted her to her feet.

*

Forty minutes later, Kristen found herself sitting in the bathtub of the late Doctor Noonien Soong, in a room just near his bedroom. She had been in deep shock all the way through Lore leading her to the Doctor’s personal areas of the laboratory. Lore was distant emotionally, not thinking twice about telling her to hurry up and keep walking as he guided her down the corridor. 

In the bathroom, he left her standing in the corner and set about running some warm water for her to get clean in. Kristen remained impassive when he ordered her to start getting undressed, to the extent of him taking hold of her arm and yanking her hard until she was swaying mindlessly in front of him. He ordered her a second time to take off her clothes, his voice becoming sharper. 

Eyes sore, she stared back at him until he swore at her in irritation and then turned her around to unfasten her trousers. The fact that Data’s arch-nemesis and loathed evil twin brother was taking off her clothes seemed a reality too far from Kristen’s mind to take seriously. It had simply ceased to matter, for she was only half-there. 

Once she was naked and finally free of the dirty clothes that had been driving her mad for so long, she let him walk her by the shoulder over to the bath. Getting into a reservoir of warm, comforting water was more difficult than she’d envisioned. She’d been dreaming of a bath but now she was faced with one, she felt too disjointed inside to care. Lore lifted one of her legs with surprisingly gentle hands and then lifted her until she was standing in the middle of it, arms around her waist. Another order to sit down and get clean was unheard by Kristen and so Lore put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her down until she was seated.

She stared into space for a long time and then the water began to thaw her state of shock. She grabbed some soap and started to lather it between her hands, wincing at times when her tender fingertips were stung by the lather. 

‘I have things I need to do now,’ Lore had said. She remembered that much, it being the first statement that sank into her mind with any weight since she’d wet herself. ‘I have work to do on my legs and then I have to see to Ria and your colleagues.’

Kristen had glanced up at him and remained silent. 

‘I’m locking the door, so don’t try anything stupid,’ he said. 

Then he disappeared through the door and after a beat of silence, she heard the locking mechanism slide into place. 

Now she was clean and physically refreshed, Kristen found that she wasn’t too eager to get out of the water. It had cooled considerably around her body, but the feeling of being without her dirty clothes and somewhere soothing was too much to resist. 

She sat back and brought her knees up, taking the opportunity to look at the hand that Lore had tortured. Miraculously, her nails were not ripped from their beds and apart from a little redness and sore flesh around her fingertips, she was okay. Whatever he’d done had been agonising and it had her wonder if perhaps she had been shocked in some way, if the device was more than what it seemed. 

The embarrassment of wetting herself still lingered and each time she thought of it, Kristen felt an additional pang of shame. Lore had wanted her fear, demanded it almost and when he pushed her fear to the limit, her body had betrayed her. 

Her cheeks burned at the memory and she knew she’d never forget it. Whatever he might do to her next could never compare in its impact, could never recreate that moment of mortified distress and helplessness. Being artificial, Lore likely could never understand just what he had done when her fear reached its pitch and she lost control of her bodily functions. 

Without knowing it, Lore had conquered a considerable part of Kristen’s confidence and from that moment on, he had truly become a master of her perceptions.

An hour passed and then two.

The bathwater became so cold that she got out of the tub and found a towel to wrap herself in. A quiet gurgle of hunger from her stomach had her grimace and then she moved to sit down on the floor. It felt as though Lore had been away for a considerably long amount of time. The thought of him returning presented a double-edged sword of eventualities. He posed a threat and terrified her, yet she also sensed that he might bring her clean clothing and food. 

He was a tyrant and her provider, all in one all-too-familiar physical package.

_I hate you… I need you… I hate you… I need you…_

When he came back, he opened the door and stood there with a delighted smile on his handsome, moongold face. ‘Notice anything different about me?’ he asked, gesturing with a hand.

Kristen squinted at the rays of sunset that spilled around his form. She raised a hand to shield her eyes. ‘No… what’s changed?’ she asked.

‘The legs, Kristen! The legs!’

She looked down and saw that the bizarre contraptions that had made up his lower legs and feet had been replaced. Somehow, from somewhere, Lore had managed to find identical extremities that looked _exactly_ the way she remembered Data’s legs and feet looking after his transplant in sickbay. Geordi had worked long and hard to fix what Data had lost and she could see that Lore had put in just as much effort. 

‘That’s great…’ she said, not wanting to displease him. She gave him a smile that she hoped didn’t look as false as it definitely was.

‘Finally I can walk across a room without shuffling around like old Often-Wrong! I managed to find one leg in the storage bunker outside and another one, believe it or not, was just left out on one of the side tables in the lab. I don’t know how I missed that before. Maybe it was because I was so busy with my work. Anyway, I had to replicate some bioplast sheeting to cover the gaps, but all in all, I think I’m now fully re-assembled,’ he explained.

His happiness was so blatant, Kristen became hypnotised by it, watching him with a vacant look on her face.

‘I can see you’re thrilled,’ he said, rather flatly.

‘No, I’m pleased for you… I am.’

He considered her briefly, as though trying to come to some sort of conclusion about her sincerity. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said jubilantly, ‘come through to the lab. I’ve replicated you some clothes and rations.’

*

Had Kristen been a tad more coherent, she would have expected Lore’s change of approach toward her as par the course. It was textbook that he would terrorize her to an almost unbearable extent and then switch to a warmer and more considerate way of behaving towards her. 

She’d studied such tactics at Starfleet Academy and understood on a fundamental level how they worked. As it was, her fear had demolished her pragmatics and so she followed him wordlessly and did everything he told her to do without questioning the kindness in his tone. Hearing Lore speak like that – so _happy_ \- reminded her of happier times with a saner android companion and that was enough hope in her heart to keep her moving. 

When she was dressed in a pair of loose trousers and a matching cropped top, both in dark grey cotton, he sat her down on the floor in the main room of the lab and then perched himself on the edge of the table. There he picked up a shiny red apple and tossed it to her. 

Looking down at her lap, where the fruit had landed, Kristen found that once again she didn’t have much of an appetite. Still, Lore wanted her to eat and so she knew she would have to. After a muttering of thanks, she lifted the apple in her good hand and took a small bite.

‘How are you feeling?’ he asked, sounding somewhat considerate for a change.

‘Fine, thank you…’ she replied, chewing. 

‘I’m being serious,’ Lore said, arching an eyebrow. 

‘So am I.’

He narrowed his eyes for a moment, but the suspicion in them didn’t last. He smiled a little and watched her eat.

‘How are _you?_ ’ she asked him, the question coming from nowhere. Despite his accommodating behaviour since they’d left the bathroom together, she knew she would have to try and keep his mood level if it were to continue. He was mercurial enough without her prodding his temper.

Lore thought about the question for a while. ‘It’s been some time since anyone asked me that,’ he replied finally. 

Kristen didn’t know what to say and so she took another bite from her apple and waited as she chewed. 

A strange look overcame his features and she recognised it from Data as deep introspection. Lore had displayed a variety of emotional states in front of her, from rage to sadistic amusement to delight, but she hadn’t yet seen him appear touched by anything she’d had to say. The question had been an innocent one from her point of view, with no undertone of subtle psychological persuasion, and it had certainly touched a nerve, as he was so fond of saying, for she could see it on his face.

‘I don’t think I have an answer for you, Kristen,’ he said.

She swallowed her mouthful and nodded, not wanting to push him.

‘Anyway, enough about that,’ he added suddenly, ‘we’re not here to talk about me right now, we’re here to talk about _you._ ’

Kristen nodded again. 

Lore left the side of the table, much more gracefully than he had been capable of before fixing his legs, and came to crouch down in front of her. His proximity did not frighten her as it had during their other conversations and that realisation struck Kristen as somewhat alarming. Still, he was not threatening her currently and she was grateful for that much. 

‘What do you want to know?’ she asked, well-used to the pattern of his interrogations and what he might require from her by then.

‘Well,’ he said, putting a hand behind himself so he could move into a cross-legged sitting position, ‘we’ve talked about what you know about me, talked about Data, talked about my Father and your sickeningly perfect love life… I might have to think about what else I need to know,’

‘Alright,’ she replied. 

_I need you… I hate you… I just don’t want any more pain…_

Lore’s nearness was both a torment and a comfort. If he was to sit there and say nothing at all, she could easily let her imagination run away with her and visualise Data sitting by her side instead of his murderous twin. She gazed at Lore and took in the all-too-familiar contrast of his pale skin and dark hair, wishing he could suddenly transfigure himself into his brother. 

The thought of Data and how terribly she missed him and wished he’d found her made her stomach ache. Suddenly unable to finish her apple, she set it down on the floor and closed her eyes.

‘Is something wrong?’ Lore asked, again using that tone of genuine concern. It was confusing to hear and yet the compassion was too beguiling to ignore. 

_Data… I need you… I love you… Lore… I hate you… Data… Lore…_

‘Have you any idea…’ she whispered, heart racing, ‘how hard it is for me just to be here with you? Every time I look at you, I see Data. Only, you’re not him… you’re someone who hates me and…’

‘I don’t hate you,’ Lore said, with a shrug.

Kristen couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes and look at him. It would hurt too much. She stayed still and listened to the sound of her breaths as they came, each one shallower than the last. 

‘Did you hear me? I said that I don’t hate you,’ Lore repeated. ‘I don’t even _know_ you. All I do know is that you’re the key to what I want and I have to use you this way because of that fact.’

She bowed her head and felt the tears come. ‘Why does it have to be like this?’

‘Because…’ he began. The silence that followed was so lengthy that Kristen couldn’t help but open her eyes and look at him. ‘Because, this is the only way I know to get what I want,’ he finished, in a tone that was both honest and confused.

She reached to wipe her eyes and then sighed. It was impossible to tell whether his current openness was just another rung in his ladder of manipulation or not. Lore could be baring his soul to her right now, giving her a piece of himself that he’d never given to another living being, but Kristen was not an Empath and therefore had no way of knowing for sure. 

Data had told her what a convincing liar Lore was capable of being and she focused on that truth as she watched him gaze down at the floor between them both. He was lost in thought, either wanting to appear that way on purpose, or because he was genuinely affected by their conversation.

Deciding to take a risk, she did the only thing she could think of that might prompt him to put a little trust in her. Last night, when he had pursued her across the lab before she could even try to escape, she had put the chair down and held her hands aloft to prove to him that she was willing to give him a chance. 

Of course, the pace of their following discussion had ruined that gesture and her temper had rendered him furious and her knocked out cold by his fist. That had been an unfortunate development between them, but despite her anxiety Kristen was almost certain that she’d been on the right track with that sort of behaviour. 

It had certainly had him show a touch of compassion towards her, even if it was nothing more than a fleeting glimpse and reluctantly delivered. She might be the key to his sordid victory, but he was the key to her survival and her acceptance of that fact had her hold out her hand to him in invitation.

Lore looked at that hand at once, her movement breaking his train of thought. Then his golden eyes lifted to look into hers, tinged with surprise and even more confusion than before. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he asked.

‘I’m not sure I know,’ she replied.

‘You want me to hold your hand?’

Kristen nodded. The instinct to survive and have her captor warm to her kept her motionless, exhausted and determined. Lore watched her sceptically and she looked right back at him, wondering just how correct she had been the night before when she’d yelled and called him a scared little boy. It was unlikely that many people had reached out to him as she was doing right now and that fact had to be a powerful thing for him to behold. 

‘Please?’ she whispered, hoping the weakness in her voice would prompt him.

‘You know that there’s a chance I might kill you… right?’ Lore tested.

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I know that,’

‘You human beings… with your sentimental need to be comforted when you’re in danger… you’re so very fragile…’ he said.

‘I know,’ she said again, ‘we’re very fragile indeed.’

Lore took her hand and laced his fingers with hers, tilting his head to take in the expression on her face, as though expecting her to recoil or feel frightened. 

Kristen squeezed his hand instead and smiled a little, relief flooding through her heart. 

_I hate you… I need you…_

There had been no reason for him to do what he had done, besides an actual wanting to do it. It seemed as though Lore _was_ seeing her as more than a disposable victim, more than just an object for his bitterness and hatred, despite his critical and cruel words. Kristen might not have much time left before he would want to begin his cybernetic experiments on her and so to achieve such a victory was enough to water down her fear and elevate her faith in whatever traces of humanity might reside within him. 

_I need you… I forgive you… I don’t hate you at all…_

Looking down to their hands, hers organic and his pale and artificial, Kristen made a promise to herself to get to the bottom of his neuroses and at least try to unravel some of the pain. It might be a futile effort, but if she could reach Lore on some level where he could recognise their equality, she might just make a difference.

Silence filled the lab and Kristen exhaled, still watching Lore as he watched her in return. His expression relaxed and she noted the change, it lifting the chord of relief she had felt and making it grow. If he had sensed the alleviation of her terror, he made no sign of it. 

Instead, Lore remained just where he was, silent and watchful of her presence.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Feedback would be very much appreciated, you guys :)


	18. Sparks

_From a little spark may burst a flame - Dante Alighieri_

Following their unusual exchange in the main room of his Father’s laboratory, Lore gave Kristen more food to eat and then took her back to the storage room she’d come to see as her cell. He had become rather quiet since holding her hand and she took that as a good sign. 

It would be naïve to expect a total moral evolution just because she had shown him a wanting of his affection, but she didn’t find it unreasonable to consider that his thoughts might be changing their course very slightly. It was hardly impossible that she might be the first of his victims to have an insight on what was really ticking beneath the surface of his madness and she knew for a fact that she was certainly the first Starfleet Counselor to spend considerable time in his presence - that had to count for something.

Lore told her to get some sleep and then turned off the light, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. She was so exhausted from all that had come to pass that she did as she was told - lying down immediately on the floor and curling herself into a ball so she could try and stay warm. 

Her head still hurt from him knocking her unconscious the night before and her fingertips were also aching, once again having her wonder if her nails had been pried at all, given how they were still intact and not loosened or ready to fall off. It was more likely that Lore had found a way to cause the nerves in her fingers to scream with agony without resulting in actual bloodshed. It certainly felt as though something like that had happened. 

Her mind teeming with thoughts, Kristen closed her eyes and fell asleep.

A loud crashing sound woke her, approximately five hours later. 

She jerked into wakefulness, instantly expecting the worst. The dream she’d been having had painted an uncomfortable tableau of pain and fear in her mind and so she couldn’t help but wrap her arms about herself and start to shiver. Looking around in the darkness, she saw nothing out of place and everything as it had been before she’d drifted off. 

Then the crashing sound was repeated, this time so loud that it had her hold her breath. She expected a yelp of pain from the other rooms, something that might indicate an accident had happened, but all that followed was silence. The suspense was awful. Kristen slowly put her hands to the floor and pushed herself to her feet, starting to move towards the door. 

If Lore had suffered some sort of malfunction due to the work he’d done on his legs, anything could be happening in the laboratory and she likely wouldn’t be able to talk her way out of it. Heart thudding in her breast, she reached for the handle, hardly aware of what she was doing.

Suddenly the door burst open, sending her reeling backwards. 

Ria stood there in a pool of searing light, the side of her head streaked with blood and brain tissue. She was motionless, arms hanging by her sides and her face etched with feral hatefulness. She was breathing hard, panting almost, and her eyes navigated the darkness, looking for what Kristen could only assume was herself. 

‘Ria?’ she said, already holding up a hand to ward the young woman away.

‘Eurghhhnnn…’ was the nonsensical response.

Ria lunged forwards then, hands swiping through the shadows at her. Kristen stepped backwards and started to look for a weapon, anything she could use that might knock the girl out before she could do any damage. Seeing her like that, so furious and monstrous when she had known Ria to be a strong-willed and sharp-minded individual in the past, struck her as chillingly sad. 

She might not have seen eye-to-eye with Ria during their time together on her home planet, but Kristen would never have wanted such a terrible fate for the headstrong young woman. She looked like something from a horror story, like a ghoul or a wiedergänger. 

Moving faster to widen the space between them, Kristen managed to reach the other side of the room and there she looked again for something, anything, she could use to defend herself.

Lore appeared in the doorway then, skidding to a halt from a fast-paced run. Kristen glanced over at him, wondering whether he had arrived to spectate the violence that was undoubtedly about to occur or whether he was there to dissolve it. He was frowning and that made her realise that Ria’s sudden fury was not something he’d anticipated. 

‘What’s the matter with her?’ Kristen yelled to him.

Ria was stumbling in her direction, still swiping her hands and now frothing at the mouth as she growled and raved.

‘I attempted a tune-up of the positronic implant I surgically grafted into her hypothalamus… somehow it has reacted badly and-’ 

‘ _Rarrghhh!_ ’ Ria cried, interrupting her ex-lover and reaching out with her scarred and wounded hands. 

Kristen felt a pang of shock at just how deep Ria’s resentment of her ran. She had lost her mind and was nothing less than a rage-driven zombie, but still she recalled the bad air between them both with potent accuracy. It seemed that where some areas of her brain had been destroyed beyond recognition, other parts had been heightened intensely. 

The look in her eye was terrifying – she appeared both dead and alive at the same time. 

Lore crossed the room then, coming up behind Ria and taking hold of her arms to restrain her. The girl began to spit and struggle, kicking with her legs and fighting the hold that he had on her. Kristen looked over to the door, wondering if her chance to escape might finally have come. Lore was busy and if Ria continued to behave like that, she would surely have enough time to get to the main door of the lab. 

But still, she reasoned with herself as she watched Ria get angrier, lashing out in every way possible, if she reached that door it didn’t necessarily mean she would be able to get out of it. Additionally, if Lore caught her trying to get away from him, it would instantly demolish the fragment of trust she had managed to gain from him and everything would be back at square one.

Deciding to suppress her desire to get outside to the surrounding jungle, Kristen ran over to the table and grabbed a sharpened piece of quartz crystal, much like the one that Lore had thrown at the wall above her head to frighten her. 

Arming herself with it, heart racing and her body clammy with fear, she began to make her way towards them, not knowing who she should try to strike; the demented girl with the bleeding head wound or the crazy android who was keeping them both captive. They were both out to hurt her, in one way or another.

_Thud… thud… thud…_

_What is that sound? Oh, it’s my heart…_

As much as Lore had no trouble restraining Ria, he was certainly not able to disable her when both of his arms were already in use. Kristen saw the darkness in his eyes, the disappointment and annoyance and she realised it was focused on her, as though he was on the verge of asking for her help. He wouldn’t, of course, that was not in his nature. 

_What do I do… do I put this girl out of her misery or do I strike Lore?_

Deciding to take a risk in more ways than one, she lifted the crystal high above her head and then brought it down hard on the side of Ria’s head. 

It stunned her momentarily, but did not knock her unconscious. 

‘Do it again! Harder!’ Lore commanded.

‘I can’t!’ 

‘Now, Kristen!’

She felt a sob in her throat and with a shaking hand, she repeated the action. This time, fresh blood erupted from the open wound on the side of Ria’s head and after a long and terrible gurgling noise left her throat, her legs gave way beneath her and she became limp in Lore’s clutches, dropping down to her knees. He stepped back a little and then bent down, laying the girl out on the floor. 

‘Is she dead?’ Kristen asked, still holding the blood-spattered crystal.

Lore turned Ria’s head and felt for her pulse. ‘No… but I doubt she’ll survive much longer. Her heart is very weak…’

‘Can we do something? Can we save her?’

He considered her then, as though the thought would never have occurred to him had she not suggested it. ‘I’m not a doctor. I may have experience with some surgical procedures, but saving lives isn’t something I’ve practised.’

Kristen frowned at him, not expecting a statement as cold as that given the circumstances, and then moved over to Ria’s side. There she knelt and after placing the crystal down so it would be out of the way, she felt for the girl’s pulse again and saw that Lore had been honest – her heart rate was decreasing rapidly and was very hard to feel at all. 

Mindless as to what her captor might be thinking, Kristen used a hand to wipe the blood away from Ria’s mouth and then bent over, preparing to breathe _for_ her. If she could steady her heart rate and keep her lungs active, the young woman might stand a chance. 

‘Lore,’ she said, looking up at him as her hand once again sought her pulse, ‘if she comes around, we’ll need to restrain her. Do you have any sedatives? Anything to tie her up with?’

‘I have the same tape I used on you yesterday,’ he said, in an eerily helpful tone, ‘and some anaesthetic I was saving for your surgery…’ 

‘Go get it, please. We need to dull the pain and keep her immobile. She needs rest if she’s going to have any chance of recovery.’

With a slightly incredulous look, Lore left the room at once to do as she wanted. Kristen noted, fleetingly, that she had asked him a favour and he had honoured it. The feeling that brought was nothing less than surreal. 

When he returned, she was still breathing for Ria on occasion and holding her wrist in her hand. Her pulse had stabilised a little, but being an expert on psychological rather than physical health left Kristen unsure as to whether she would survive. It didn’t look good, that much was certain, and she was sure that Doctor Crusher would whole-heartedly concur on that, had she been present.

Lore returned with the tape and a hypospray. ‘How is she?’ he asked.

Kristen glanced at him as he came closer, wondering how he could go from such blatant disregard for someone’s safety to sounding genuinely concerned about them only minutes later. Perhaps there was a part of him that had loved Ria after all, she wondered. 

‘She’s not doing well, Lore. Please can I have the hypospray?’ she asked.

He narrowed his eyes momentarily, making his mind up, and then passed it over. Relieved, Kristen administered the shot to the side of Ria’s neck at once and then waited, hoping that the girl beneath her would soon respond to the pain relief. Even unconscious, she must be in a lot of discomfort. Moments passed and nothing happened, apart from a further strengthening of her pulse rate. 

‘Her heart is beating a little stronger now. I recommend we tie her wrists and ankles and then carry her through to the medi-chair. She won’t be able to get loose that way… and we can keep an eye on her until morning comes.’

Lore looked down at the metallic tape in his hand and then back at Ria. ‘She’ll die soon. Perhaps it would be better to put her somewhere… comfortable,’ he said.

‘She may not die if we can move her quickly and-’

‘Kristen, she _will_ die. The implant did not mesh well and even if you hadn’t hit her with that crystal, she still would not have made it to the morning. I am unsure as to why she became so enraged after her treatment, but her brain will gradually deteriorate now until…’ Lore paused, frowning deeper. ‘Her demise is imminent,’ he concluded.

Kristen swallowed, realising her throat had thickened with emotion. ‘Alright. I understand. Can we get her off the floor?’

‘Yes, help me carry her.’

A while later, Ria was laid on the medi-bed in the main room of the lab. Lore, still insisting that the girl would be dead before the sun came up, did not allow Kristen to tape her wrists and ankles together after all. He saw it as a pointless exercise. 

The woman lay motionless, eyes closed and her chest rising and falling so weakly, it was almost unnoticeable that she was breathing at all. To the uninformed, Ria would appear quite dead already. Across the room, Kristen was seated on a sofa, staring into space. There was blood on her hands and on the side of her face. There was even some blood in her hair. 

Exhibiting more trust than she could ever have expected from him, Lore left her alone for a little while to clean up the mess that Ria had made in the room he’d been using for his tests. Apparently she had thrown over a few pieces of furniture once her rage had been ignited and that was what had caused the crashing noises.

Lore came back to her eventually, wiping his hands on a rag and looking grave. ‘Has she moved?’ he asked.

‘No,’ Kristen replied. She looked into his eyes and saw an etching of something there that echoed with sadness. ‘I’m so sorry that it had to come to this…’ she said then, unsure of where the apology had come from.

Lore tilted his head in that way that reminded her so acutely of Data. ‘Ah, but you have self-defence as an excuse, Counselor. It wasn’t murder in its truest sense, was it?’

‘I know that,’ she conceded, ‘but if she dies, it will be my fault. I hit her… so hard…’

‘Didn’t you hear what I told you in there? She was dying _before_ you hit her. Perhaps you catalysed the effects of the implant… that, I can’t deny. Who knows, perhaps we both killed her… together…’

The thought was so nauseating Kristen turned away and looked out of the window, her eyes staring through the jewel-green plant life beyond the glass. The winds were not stirring and so all seemed unusually quiet. 

Lore, seemingly sensing the fact he’d made her uncomfortable, wandered across the room and then took a seat by her side. ‘Your first casualty?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ Kristen replied.

‘You’ve been in Starfleet some time now. I thought you might have killed your first. I take it you’ve avoided such things until now?’ he asked.

‘Believe it or not, Lore, I haven’t accepted murder as an eventuality of my career. I would never want to bring harm to another living creature. Never,’

‘Data has killed. I take it he told you that?’ Lore asked, conversationally.

‘Of course he has. It has troubled him just as it would trouble me. Every time he’s had to kill, he’s done so for the right reasons,’ she said.

Lore made a soft snorting sound, as though the mere thought was ridiculous. 

Kristen might have responded with a defensive remark, had she thought he’d let her get away with it, but as it was she felt too tired and shocked by everything to argue. She brought her legs up on the sofa and wrapped her arms around them, holding them close to her chest and resting the side of her face on her knee. 

Eyes still on the jungle outside, she decided to let Lore do the talking, if that was what he wanted. She didn’t have a great deal to say anyway, or at least nothing that would be of interest to him. For a while, they sat there in silence together. She thought he might be ignoring her, or using his mental acuity on plotting some new and devious project, but it seemed that he was simply content to be in her company for the time being. The silence between them was almost companionable, warped as it was by Kristen’s ever-developing madness and Lore’s intrinsic cruelty.

_I don’t hate you… I don’t love you… I don’t know who we are…_

_You’re evil and now I am too… we’re both violent… and when Ria dies, we’ll both be killers…_

Eventually, when twenty minutes had passed, Kristen turned her head and saw that Lore was already looking at her. The pang she had grown used to when looking in his eyes, the one that reminded her of Data’s gentle sweetness, bloomed in her heart. 

She thought of Doctor Soong and wondered why he had decided to make them both so identical and so identical to himself also. It had only been to his detriment, in the end. If Lore’s eyes had been a different colour, or his mouth a different shape, she could easily have drawn a line between him and Data when it came to matters of physicality. 

Kristen gazed up at his face as he gazed down at hers and couldn’t help but feel drawn to him in some unfathomable way. He was equally as handsome as Data, with strong features, those trademark golden eyes and white-pale skin. 

_Am I getting Stockholm Syndrome? Is that how messed up I am now? My heart belongs to Data, will always belong to Data, but…_

‘You think about him when you look at me like that,’ Lore said, ‘don’t think I haven’t noticed it.’

Kristen sighed. ‘I’ve made it clear to you already how hard this is for me. The torture and mind games and the fact you killed my friends is bad enough, but for all of this to come from Data’s identical twin… even you must understand the weight of that… how it makes me feel…’

‘I understand it and use it to my advantage, of course,’ Lore replied.

‘How could things have been different for you?’ she asked. Watching him and appreciating his appearance had made her feel wistful and she could hardly help the flow of her spoken thoughts.

‘Explain,’ he said.

‘The two of you are so alike… but yet, you’re so very different. I wonder, if things could have been different for you, would you have ended up this way? Had you had things the way that Data had them, could you have been more like him?’

‘I was never given the chance,’ he said, hurt in his eyes, ‘I was introduced to the colonists as though they would accept me from the start. What my Father failed to anticipate was how an android could never be received well by living, organic beings and most especially so when that android has feelings and desires and wants to be taken seriously. I know that Data has emotions now and a whole circle of devoted supporters and friends, but… he had something I never did. He was able to earn the trust of those around him _before_ having to adjust to the pressures of his emotional drives. He earned his right to evolve. I never did. I was just… an abomination.’

Kristen saw Lore’s expression darken and somehow, she felt sorry for him and the views he had on his life and Data’s by comparison. She wanted to escape from him and was prepared to do whatever it might take to achieve that, but when he showed shades of humanity, true and genuine emotion that was not fragmented with evil, it startled her deeply. 

She felt real sympathy for him, for the first time. His words had made sense and though she never forgot the terrible things he had done, she began to understand why they had happened, _why_ he was so bitter. 

_You’re a killer and I don’t hate you… What have you made me into?_

_What am I becoming?_

‘You have the right to change, Lore, just like anyone else who’s sentient,’ she said, ‘I know you’ll never be a saint, but you can make a difference in your own life. Everyone deserves a second chance and I’m pretty sure that even Data would agree with me on that.’

Lore gave her one of his most cynical looks. ‘Sometimes I think I must have been programmed this way intentionally, to be the proverbial black sheep of our unconventional little family. Data and I are practically the same being, save for a few minor details in our programming and yet we are the classic example of good twin, bad twin. I never had any choice in my part of the arrangement. He was always destined to be the perfect one… my Father’s dream, made physical… what else could I have been, except for a total disappointment?’

She sighed again, feeling very heavy inside. ‘From what Data told me, your Father loved you and would have tried to fix you, had he known you were out there,’

‘He didn’t even _look_ for me, as I have already told you,’ he snapped.

‘And it wouldn’t surprise me if there are other dismantled androids out there that he didn’t look for. All he knew about was Data. If he’d known, he would have done his best for you too. You know that, deep down, don’t you?’

Lore shook his head vehemently. ‘Kristen, you have no idea what you’re talking about. You may know Data well enough, but you don’t know me at all,’

‘Don’t I?’ she asked.

Lore broke eye contact with her, turning to look out of the window. 

She realised he didn’t want to continue their line of conversation and so she glanced over to Ria, seeing that she was still unconscious and in the position they had laid her out in on the medi-chair. 

Observing her for a while, Kristen thought back to what she had known of her relationship with Lore and all the things that both she and Dolan had spoken of, back when they were still on Komos B. It wasn’t the first time she’d had these thoughts but couldn’t help it when they returned to her. Dolan and Ria had both liked Lore very much and told stories about how willing he had been to integrate himself into the lifestyle of their most unusual society. 

Dolan especially, who had always been a thoughtful and honest man, had defended Lore and put across some most fascinating insights on his character. It had been clear then that Ria was blinded with love for Lore and so her judgements could hardly be counted upon, but Dolan was nothing near to biased. Kristen liked him and believed he was honest when he said that Lore had loved Ria and that their affair had been a genuine one.

Yet, he had left the planet without as much as a goodbye and judging by the state of things since Kristen had found herself on Terlina III, things had most certainly changed between them when it came to matters of the heart. Either Lore had never really loved Ria, or his feelings had altered dramatically. 

Nervously, she lifted a hand and tapped Lore’s arm, wanting his attention. He didn’t look her way, but he did ask her what she wanted.

‘I was just thinking… about what I knew about you and what I know now. So much of it makes sense, but one thing really doesn’t…’ she said.

‘And what might that be?’ he asked, eyes still on the window.

‘Ria. We’ve danced around that subject a couple of times and every time we do, you get angry and tell me to shut up. Why is that?’

Lore slowly turned to face her. ‘I grew weary of her obsession,’ he said, providing her with an answer she hadn’t thought she would receive.

‘She was obsessed with you,’ Kristen agreed, ‘but… Dolan told me that you loved her too. Did you love her?’

‘At first,’ he said, ‘time went on and I came to realise that it wasn’t me that she wanted after all. I was just a handy way for her to leave that planet and start a new life. I told her I’d come back one day and find her, but… the more time I spent away from her, the more I began to accept that she was using me. I didn’t want to be her escape route. I didn’t want to be used.’

Kristen thought back to the way Ria had gone from idolising Lore to virtually throwing herself at Data, once she realised that he was the only option she had. Whether she wanted Data because he reminded her of Lore or whether she was also trying to use him to leave Komos B was a mystery, but it certainly did present a lot of questions. 

Kristen had told Lore herself that Ria had been loyal to him, but technically that wasn’t true. Narrowing her eyes, she began to wonder if Ria had confessed the way she had demanded Data be at her side, even to the extent of killing Dolan to force him to accept her. For Lore to consider that his partner, someone he trusted, had begged his loathed brother to be with her would explain the dramatic turnabout in his feelings. Did Lore know that Ria had tried to be with Data? 

‘Do you know about what happened on Komos B?’ she asked, rather quietly.

Lore tensed, visibly. ‘What are you referring to?’

Kristen wondered if it might be wise to act confused suddenly and pretend she’d taken leave of her senses. If talking about Ria’s intended betrayal made Lore mad, the peaceful equilibrium between them may well be shattered. Still, there was always the chance that she might be able to help him, if he did know about what had transpired on Ria’s home planet…

‘I’m referring to the fact that Ria mistook Data for you when she met him and found it very hard to handle. She killed Dolan and hurt everyone.’

Lore didn’t say anything for a while and it made Kristen incredibly nervous. He sat there, staring into space, his amber eyes somewhat glassy in the first rays of sunrise. Outside the window, the sky had become streaked with watery yellow and before long it would be bright and blue. It seemed the night had just slipped away between them, leaving a glowing dawn in its place.

‘The problem with Ria is that she never knows when to keep her mouth shut. She knew me very well and had become well accustomed to my temper. I’ve always been an angry person, I suppose. She likes to tell stories and hardly ever forgets a detail,’ Lore said. 

The information he provided hardly answered the question and acknowledging that as a possible unlocking of his mental doors, Kristen remained silent in the hope he’d continue. Lore lifted a hand to his face and leant on it, his shoulders slumping as he drifted into thought. She watched him, wondering what was running through his mind. It was morbidly fascinating and discomforting at the same time. 

‘She told me plenty of stories when she’d finished reassembling me and turned me back on. I couldn’t speak for a long time because she had trouble recalibrating my linguistic circuits and so I sat there and listened to everything she had to say. She told me she loved me, of course. She told me that too much. I could see by then that she was not the person I’d known before,’ he went on.

‘I’m surprised she was allowed to return here. I never thought her sane,’ Kristen interjected.

‘Quite,’ Lore said. ‘Starfleet erred on that front. She mentioned what happened between herself and Data. The tale itself was delivered with protestations that she had been mad to want anyone else but me… I could tell she felt guilty for wanting him. It was in her tone and in her eyes. I had this… image… in my mind of Data standing there like some sort of eunuch as Ria, such a beautiful girl, threw herself at him, refusing to believe that he wasn’t me. It burned me up.’

Kristen nodded, his words making sense to her.

‘And then I found out that the reason he didn’t respond had nothing to do with not having an emotion chip. I’d assumed that was why – that Data was incapable of feeling anything towards someone in an intimate sense and so he’d rejected her. I was wrong of course… he got that blind little sidekick of his to fit and activate the chip some time ago. The reason he didn’t respond to Ria was because of something very different. It was because of _you_ , wasn’t it?’

She closed one of her hands into a loose fist, suddenly afraid. ‘Yes, that’s right,’ she said.

‘Data had everything around that time, didn’t he? A great career, wonderful friends, well-esteemed colleagues, decorations from Starfleet to prove his valour and dedication, a recognised status as a sentient being, the approval and love of our late Father, a good relationship with the android that masquerades as our Mother, a sweet and pretty girlfriend _and_ , to top it all off, as if he hadn’t had enough, he had _my_ girl throwing herself at him too. For such a smartass, he certainly proved himself to be a lucky son of a bitch.’

Kristen couldn’t help but think about how Data had _earned_ all of those things that Lore was listing, but she kept quiet. He hated to be interrupted and judging by the content of what he was revealing, he was going to need more time to speak. 

His jealousy of Data and base desire to topple everything he’d achieved still revolted her, but against her will she was beginning to see through Lore’s eyes and understand just why he’d become so twisted. Mesmerised by his cathartic divulgences, she released her hand from its fist and watched him speak, her expression open.

_I must have lost it completely. Maybe I never recovered from the smell of Sarrott’s rotting body. Maybe that’s when I lost my mind…_

_I don’t know myself now._

‘I know you’ve been wanting to understand why I operated on Ria and what really went on between us. That’s natural for someone like you, I suppose. Someone who has what she needs and is respected for it,’ Lore said. 

Kristen nodded.

‘It’s funny… I look at what you have with Data and then compare it to what I had with Ria and it almost seems to me that we have paralleled our lives without knowing it. Ria and I got all of the bad breaks. We were on the outside looking in, wanting to be like everyone else and not knowing how to go about it right. We were angry and ambitious and twisted. You and Data… you met all of the right people in all of the right places. You’re both likeable, gentle, innocent… kind…’

A noise had him pause and together, Lore and Kristen turned to look towards the medi-bed. Ria’s arm, which had been positioned over her stomach, had fallen to her side and her mouth was open, a trickle of blood drying in its corner. He stood at once and went to her side, lifting her arm back up and then taking her pulse with his fingertips. 

Kristen held her breath, wondering if she had passed on. Too tense to ask, too muddled inside because of his bittersweet rhetoric and her own introspections, she waited to find out as the minutes ticked by. 

Eventually, Lore put the girl’s arm back over her waist and then used a hand to gently close her mouth. ‘She’s dead,’ he whispered, just loud enough to hear.

Saddened by everything she’d witnessed since the middle of the night, Kristen didn’t have the words to reply. Instead of saying something that would sound dishonest, especially given his intrinsic distrust, she stood from the sofa and went to stand next to him. 

Lore looked down upon Ria with an unreadable look in his eyes. Clearly he had come to dislike the girl given all of the horrible things he had done to her, but a flicker of emotion was clear in way the he hovered there, his hand on the side of her face. 

When enough time had passed for Kristen to feel certain he wouldn’t hit her or torture her for getting involved, she took hold of his wrist and pulled his hand away. Lore stood motionless, eyes unseeing, unresponsive to her concern or physical contact. She took a breath and then moved closer to him, looping her arm through his and resting her head on his shoulder.

They remained in that position for almost half an hour. Lore only reciprocated her affection when she released a quiet sigh and felt her eyes well up with tears. At that, he turned to look down at her and put a hand to her chin and lifted it. 

Kristen saw Data, then Lore and then Data again, standing right before her. 

_Who are you? Sometimes you’re chaos and at other times you’re calm. I don’t know who we are anymore. I don’t know what to do._

‘We should bury her,’ he said.

‘Yes…’ she replied, the overwhelming tide of her emotions leaving her in some sort of trance.

‘Will you help me?’ he asked.

‘Of course,’ she replied, ‘anything you need.’

Lore took her hand then and Kristen complied, following him across the room and to the front door of the laboratory. ‘There are tools in the exterior lab. We can get in there if we go the back way,’ he explained. She let him guide her, sometimes seeing him for who he really was as they walked and sometimes seeing Data, her unconventional soul mate. 

_Is this Data… is this Lore? I’m crazy… I’m crazy…_

Once the outer layers were stripped back, the two of them had more in common than she had ever expected. Holding his hand and walking behind him like a friend instead of an abductee, Kristen looked up at him on occasion and wondered if her wanting to get to know Lore had caused much more damage than good. 

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Keep that feedback coming, cats and kittens. I've been having a great time reading what you're all thinking as the story progresses.


	19. Blood and Electricity

_I felt for the tormented whirlwinds_   
_Damned for their carnal sins_   
_Committed when they let their passions rule their reason - Dante Alighieri_

Once Ria had been buried in the soft earth of the jungle, Lore once again began to distance himself from Kristen. 

Both dirty from their task, they washed up in the bathroom and then he led her back to the room of the lab she’d spent most of her time in, hardly saying a word to her. With a blank look on his face, he replicated her some rations (bread, fruit, water) and then told her to catch up on her sleep. 

She was concerned about him, but daren’t express that. Instead she asked Lore where he was going and he answered her vaguely, mentioning something about Jijesh and Yates needing his attention. In light of all that had happened since the early hours of the morning, Kristen wasn’t surprised that she’d forgotten that they were still there in the lab. Or at least, those who had survived Lore’s experiments were. Sarrott and Jones were long gone.

Grabbing her food, she sat down on the floor in her usual spot and then watched as Lore gazed at her from across the room, leaning against the doorframe. She felt it would have been natural, as ironic as that might be, if he had wanted to talk a little about what they had just done, but he stayed quiet all the same. Still devoid of visible emotion, Lore turned away to leave the room, locking the door behind him.

Kristen ate well and slept. In her dreams, she was with Data on the holodeck, back on the _Enterprise._

They had a few programs they enjoyed and had spent time a few months earlier designing new ideas and inputting them into the ship’s computer together. Her favourite was the English meadow program they had used together back when Data had still been her patient. It reminded her of the place she grew up back on earth and every time they went there, she would find herself telling him stories of her childhood, of happier times when her family had still been a stable unit and not torn asunder by her life choices. 

It was a special place for them now, somewhere where they both found it easy to relax, talk and relate to one another. They had overcome many difficulties there, amongst the trees and fragrant grasses. Data also had many favourites, but the one her subconscious had decided to show her was not one she remembered from the selection the holodeck provided. Instead it was somewhere intensely personal to them both. 

At first they were standing together, hand-in-hand, on the familiar terrain of earth’s only moon, near Lake Armstrong. Commander Riker had recommended it to them some time ago. It was a romantic setting, one favoured by many lovers as somewhere to recreate and spend time together. 

But then Data asked the computer to change the program to something else altogether. They were back in the caves of Loistros, where a terrible accident had happened and both of them had almost lost their lives. There was debris here and there, but they were safe and thankfully not in the predicament they had been in when last visiting the planet.

At the mouth of the cave, they sat together on a rock and watched the waters of the nearby stream trickling by. During their away mission there, they had been sent to perform surveys on the removal of organohalides in the water and had worked hard to complete a manual on pollution and ecological welfare to hand over to the Loistron government. In the here and now of her dreamstate, Kristen was indifferent to the symbolism of where they where and why. 

She was simply so relieved to be with Data again that she pulled him close at once and breathed in his clean, soft scent. Anticipating her need to be held, he put his arms around her immediately and rested his cheek on the top of her head, stroking his hand soothingly over the base of her back as he always did when she was troubled by something. 

Without moving her mouth, Kristen asked him what they were doing on the holodeck and when he had rescued her, nuzzling her face against his. She wanted to know what had happened to Lore. Why couldn’t she remember beaming back aboard the ship? Data shushed her questions, one after another, and told her that she was safe and there was nothing to be afraid of. 

_You are safe, my beloved. Nothing can harm you now._

Believing him, always knowing in her heart that she could trust Data above anyone else she knew, she closed her eyes and held him tighter.

To hear the beating of his artificial heart again was like a granted wish. Kristen began to cry and couldn’t understand why Data didn’t grasp the extremity of her absolute relief that she was with him again. He soothed her, holding her close and kissing the side of her head on occasion, until the tears slowed down and eventually stopped. Kristen lifted her face to his and kissed him properly, pacifying the mounting need to show him how much she loved him. 

Kissing, still kissing, she closed her eyes tight and let the sensation drown the fear and pain in her subconscious. There was a part of her that was becoming wise to the fact that none of it was real, but for the time being at least she clung onto the simple pleasure of her fiancée’s presence and let it drown her senses…

*

A short while later, Lore returned to the lab from the jungle. 

Yates and Jijesh had also perished since Ria had died and for the past hour he had been moving their bodies outside and preparing them for burial later that evening in an open grave he had dug. 

Trying to focus on what he had previously envisioned as his perfect revenge against Data, he had decided to ignore the warmth that Kristen had shown him and was intent on going in there and waking her up, only to drag her back through to the medi-chair and commence torturing her again. There was a neural device he had created, one designed to shock the entire nervous system directly, and he was somewhat eager to test it. Kristen would be perfect for that. 

A flicker of doubt sent negative feedback loops directly into his conscience as he went to the medi-chair and began to prepare it for her session. Setting up the new device, Lore found himself pausing on occasion and having to put considerable effort into ignoring the echoes of guilt in his circuitry. He had hated the mere thought of his brother’s fiancée for some time and now he was getting to know her and finding that he was warming to her presence, it was presenting variables of such complexity that he could barely concentrate on what he was doing.

Eventually, he sat on the edge of the medi-chair and tried to clear his thoughts. 

The conversations he’d had with Kristen had not been something he’d expected and, annoyingly enough, Lore realised that though she’d stirred his temper and confused his deeper feelings, he couldn’t deny to himself that he quite liked her. She wasn’t the usual sort of human being he would feel a partiality to; instead she was the polar opposite. 

People who were quiet and kind usually left him feeling suspicious and unable to suppress a sneer whenever they were close to him. He preferred people who were conniving, sly and ruthless – qualities in himself that he admired in others. 

Deciding to focus on Kristen’s weakness, her futile attempts at extricating his bitterness and turning it into something underscored with morality, Lore stood from the chair and crossed the lab. He would ignore her sincere interest in his feelings, push away the enticing memory of having to undress her in his Father’s bathroom when she’d gone into a state of shock and would pledge to himself never to let another organic being manipulate his thoughts sentimentally again. 

_I’ll hurt you for these feelings, Kristen Harper. I’ll savage you with things you couldn’t imagine. Your pain will be intense and… exquisite._

Smiling to himself with a new rush of confidence, Lore opened the door. In the room she slept in, he immediately realised he wasn’t quite as strong as he thought. 

Kristen was laid on her back on the floor, her head turned to the side and her arms slightly lifted at her sides, eyes closed and lips parted. Her stillness and the look of peace on her delicate features had him lose his smile, it being replaced with an expression of preoccupation. 

Where Ria had been blonde and blue-eyed, Kristen was brunette and dark-eyed, so it was hardly a transference of carnal affection that distracted his intent, or at least that’s what Lore told himself. Ria was gone now and he wasn’t about to let the weaker elements of his emotion chip’s abilities persuade him into seeking comfort from some stupid girl that his brother was in love with. He may well be feeling regret over what he’d put Ria through, but it was done now and he wasn’t about to mourn her loss. 

Kristen had helped him realise his failings towards her and as far as he was concerned, that chapter of his life was done. 

As he stood there and thought about the way Kristen had held his hand and shown her support, hardly judging him at all for the terrible things he’d done, Lore couldn’t deny the impulse he was feeling to go over there and look at her more closely. 

He did so, crouching down at her side and watching her sleep. 

She wasn’t a strikingly beautiful woman to behold, but she was a comely one all the same. He could see her appeal and why Data favoured her. The strength of her personality shone through, making her simple looks a lot more attractive than they might have been if she’d been a detrimental person. He thought about her interest in his feelings, the way she defended Data constantly, her carefully worded sentences and cries of pain… 

Guilt was not something that Lore was used to, but like it or not, a shimmer of that feeling remained in his circuits and it had him reach down with one pale hand and gently stroke her cheek. 

She had wondered about the things that made him different to Data and talking about those things had been hard. The thing was, the only time he had ever discussed such matters had been with his Father and as Kristen well knew, that event had hardly gone smoothly. 

He hadn’t wanted to hear Noonien Soong’s explanations and reasonings for following Data’s career instead of trying to find his eldest son and fix him. Lore’s temper and lust for personal gain had turned what might have been a touching family reunion into something tinged with deceit and ending in murder. Talking about his bitterness and jealousy had opened a door inside him that led to a whole world of suppressed thoughts and feelings. 

Lore was not stupid, even if the experience had been cathartic. He knew why, and had always known why he harboured such animosity towards Data. He wanted what he had and knew he would never have the means to get it, ever. 

And worst of all, it was all his own fault. 

The things he had said about Ria had been true. She had told him, as she worked on his linguistic circuitry, that she had thrown herself at Data, begging him to love her, wanting to be close to anyone, any _thing_ that might remind her of himself. It was sad and tragic, the whole escapade, and at the end of it all, he had been betrayed by the one person he’d thought he could trust, even if her love for him had always been intense. 

Closing his eyes as he battled the rippling confusion in his neural nets, Lore sat down properly at Kristen’s side and felt his jaw stiffen with hurt. 

She stirred a little and whispered his brother’s name. Two syllables, murmured in a breath. 

‘ _Data…_ ’

Glancing to her, he retracted his hand from her cheek and replaced it on the floor by his side. Kristen was dreaming about specifics that looked enjoyable and the sight of that kept Lore still and silent as he watched her. When she reached out and took hold of his arm suddenly, grasping onto him as though she were drowning and needed his help, he started in surprise. Her fingers, the ones he had tortured less than two days ago, dug into the dark material of his shirt and the bioplast flesh beneath it too. 

Lore looked up to her face and then down again, to where she held onto him, taken offguard most unexpectedly by her actions. 

Kristen spoke again, quietly, and despite his keen watchfulness of all she was doing, eyes spellbound and curious, he couldn’t quite make out what she was trying to say. He was just about to speak her name and try to wake her up when her other hand reached out and she pulled him towards her. 

Being that close to Kristen was somewhat uncomfortable for Lore and so he tried to pull himself out of her frantic embrace, not knowing what he might do if she carried on like that. Whether it was irritating or enjoyable, the outcome could not be a good one. 

As it was, he didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter as moments after she had begun to stir from her dream, her eyes opening and closing on occasion, she pulled him much harder than before and his mouth was forced over hers in a kiss. 

‘Kris-’ he said, managing to turn himself away from her for a second. 

She held Lore tighter, forcing him to give into the rising pleasure that was further muddling his thoughts. She kissed him harder, deeper and he sensed at once that she was mistaking him for his brother. Lore lifted his hands to take hold of her wrists, planning on wrenching her hands off his clothing, but found that he couldn’t do much more than lay them on her shoulders and hold her there, responding to her kiss with unexpected gusto. 

Eventually her movements slowed down and Lore knew well before they stopped kissing that the realisation of what she was doing had kicked in and had instantly begun to horrify her. Her face moved away from his and she leant over, her forehead resting on the top of his arm as she let the shock subside. She was panting too.

Lore listened to her breathing, not surprised that it was out of pace. Whatever might be said next would undoubtedly be awkward and he steeled himself for it in preparation, letting go of her shoulders and watching as she slowly sat back and made eye contact with him. 

‘I’m terribly sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I was having a dream about Data and I-’

‘I think I can guess, Kristen. You don’t need to spell it out,’ he snapped, his eyes still smouldering from their exchange. 

She stared down at the sheets for a moment, mesmerised by what had happened and then lifted a hand to her mouth. She wiped at her lips absently with her fingers, the sight of her apparent regret prodding Lore’s temper even more. 

‘Oh… I _see_ ,’ he said, jaw clenching again, ‘I taste bitter, do I?’

She frowned a little, not comprehending. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Nothing. It doesn’t _matter._ ’

Lore stood and glared at her, having Kristen drop her eyes to the floor, unable to face his anger. ‘I wasn’t trying to offend you by doing that. Please don’t go,’

‘What makes you think I’m going? I came in here to fetch you and I’m not leaving until you’re with me, no matter what you try to do to distract me,’ he snarled, any lingering pleasure now absent from his thoughts.

‘I didn’t do anything to distract you. That didn’t happen on purpose, I swear to you… I was dreaming about Data and… it went too far. I thought you were… you know. I am sorry for it, if you’ll forgive me?’

Lore narrowed his eyes subtly, wondering just where her mind was. She was a Starfleet Counselor and as such, should have been able to tell that he was angry rather at the thought of her rejection of him than at the act of their kiss itself. She was undoubtedly adept at many differing levels of psychology, she had proven that much, but she was being rather obtuse at the moment. 

Hadn’t she noticed the lingering touches he’d given her? When waking her up the other day, when guiding her back down from the lab gangway after she had threatened to run, when getting her into the bath… he’d held her hand before they had buried Ria together. 

_Can she really be this stupid?_

His intention had never, ever been to end up being fond of her but his emotions were as human as Data’s and did as they pleased. They were practically identical, after all. Lore had developed a warmth for Kristen and she clearly hadn’t noticed even the subtlest hints at that. 

_Yes, she really is that stupid… and even if that were not so, it’s Data she wants._

She was blushing fiercely by that point. ‘I don’t know what to say,’ she whispered.

‘Then don’t say anything,’ Lore replied, shrugging.

‘It was a mistake,’ she said, ‘an honest mistake.’

_Salt in the wound._

Lore gave her a look of total consternation, his tongue in his cheek and his hurt sparking like a circuit about to burn out. ‘Kristen, get up off the floor and follow me through to the lab. We have work to do together. Right now.’

She blinked at him, gauging the mood between them and then she got to her feet and started to cross the room towards him. He looked at her for just a second, a shadow of loss in his eyes, and then turned his back on her and headed for the door.

*

Kristen was roiling inside at what she’d just done and the shame continued to redden her cheeks as she walked behind Lore into the other room. The first thing she noticed was that all of the interior doors were open. Thoughts of Yates and Jijesh instantly slammed into her mind. If the doors were open, either they would now be visible to her, or they had… gone. 

_Are they dead too?_

Turning her eyes to the back of Lore’s head, she opened her mouth to ask him what had happened, but then just as quickly dismissed the idea. He was in what could possibly be the worst mood she had ever seen him in and she was the reason for that. Asking questions would not go down well.

_He said he doesn’t hate me, but he does. I know he does._

He went to the medi-chair and she saw that things had changed there also. Straps had been affixed to the underneath of the seat and wires and other apparatus had been arranged in all the right places to connect with the head, arms and legs of a humanoid. 

This time she couldn’t help but voice her curiosity. ‘Lore?’ she murmured, coming to a standstill behind him.

‘Hmm?’ he responded, lifting wires and examining them.

‘When you said that we have work to do together…’

‘Yes?’

‘You meant…’

He turned around and smiled at her, a dark smile that made her blood run cold. ‘You’re becoming more perceptive, Kristen. Perhaps you’re brighter than I thought…’

The fear started in her legs for some reason, fixing her to spot. 

The door to the outside world was open, she could detect the exotic scent of the jungle on the breeze that filled the room and yet she could not find her feet to run. Her heart began to pound. 

Her instincts prompted her to make a dash for it and as she tried to clear the sudden fog in her head, all she could hear was the voice of her Father, telling her in his patronising baritone that artificial life was nothing but a danger. She listened to him perform a lecture that had never taken place, as though her sensibilities were using his tone and accent to present the most obvious of factors. She’d been lectured by him many hundreds of times on similar issues but this time it was all new, all about her current situation, all about the here and the now and the unthinkable horror of it.

If she ran, Lore would catch her. He would catch her quickly now his legs were fixed and he would hurt her… 

_I don’t hate him… I can’t hate him… it’s me I hate._

_I’m the one who has caused all this. It’s all my fault._

‘Shut up, Daddy,’ she said to herself, putting a hand to her face. 

Lore quirked an eyebrow at her. ‘Or maybe I should take that back… you’re just a scared little girl, aren’t you?’

‘It would take a scared little boy to know it,’

‘What did you say?’

‘I’m not going to beg you, Lore. I haven’t the strength to run,’ she said. 

‘Then come here,’ he said, extending a hand her way, ‘I have an activity for us to partake in.’

*

When Kristen was strapped into the chair, she turned her face away from Lore. She couldn’t bear to look at him any longer. 

For a moment she felt a pulse of absolute rage towards Data for not being there, for not finding her and the others. She still loved him of course, would always love him and _only_ him, but she needed a scapegoat for all she’d been through and as he was always on her mind in general, she couldn’t help but pin some blame on him. She was certain Data would still be worried for her, even with the messages that Soshi was sending… and yet she was enraged at him for not being there, not saving her, not helping her escape.

Thoughts churning, she tried to calm down and get a grip of herself, but the fear of whatever Lore was about to do to her prevailed. She had thought they were getting closer, that something in him was beginning to blossom and change. Their discussion at sunrise, the honesty and humanity he’d shown, all of it had truly marked an evolution in his character. 

Now he was furious again and for what? A kiss that _never_ should have happened? She’d thought he was Data. She’d thought she was kissing Data.

_Only you, Data. Only you._

_Forever._

Eyes glistening with tears, she turned to look Lore’s way again. He was plugging wires into a portable device, one she was sure had been designed to cause her great pain. Somehow, the thought of that was very far away. Instead of beginning to panic at the prospect of being tortured again, Kristen started to cry at the thought of how sad the whole situation was. 

She disliked Lore and yet felt great sympathy for him and understanding of the selfish choices he’d made. She ached for the lonely and bitter existence he’d had. She missed Data _terribly_ and would give anything to be reunited with him, somewhere safe and far away from Terlina III. Her Father’s warnings skittered across the disintegrating foundations of her mind again, adding potency where it wasn’t needed. 

Lore came to her eventually. Kristen held in a deep breath, her eyes wide and staring. A slight smile tilted the corner of his handsome mouth and she noted that, knowing that it was usually a prelude to something terrible. Tears slipped down her cheeks and he tilted his head, watching them roll in watery tracks over her skin. 

His hand lifted over her face and then she flinched, knowing he was going to touch her. There was poignancy now when Lore touched her and even though Kristen had been trying to ignore it to the best of her ability, it was impossible to deny to herself that she enjoyed their brief moments of physical contact.

Their kiss scored through her mind again like a knife into her heart. 

Lore kissed like Data, which was something she hadn’t expected. Being such different people, she had thought that would carry over to their physical interactions. Where Data was gentle and considerate, she had thought that Lore would be rough and demanding. The softness he’d shown her made her blood run cold. How could he be capable of such tenderness one moment and then be ready to torture her the next? 

She opened her mouth to appeal to Lore, fear and confusion muddying her thoughts, but he shook his head, denying her permission. ‘Be good and let me do what I need to do. Later, if you behave, I might reward you,’ he said.

She stared at him, the tears still falling.

‘Come on, Kristen. There’s no point in crying. What would your Captain think if he knew you were letting him down like this? Aren’t Starfleet officers meant to be brave?’

Her mouth closed again and she hitched a troubled sigh. 

‘I suppose it won’t matter for much longer…’ Lore continued. 

She was on the verge of questioning him, wanting to know what he meant by that, but a sudden and violent jolt of pain rocketed through her body. It took her breath away as her muscles became rigid, her back arching from the medi-bed. A singing note of agony, loud and sharp enough to render her oblivious to her company and surroundings, dissolved her consciousness into fragments. It was never-ending, intense… constant. 

Kristen heard another sound, something very close to the side of her head and then the pain lifted to a whole other level. A scream in her throat and a flush of total agony breaking blood vessels within her eyes and unconsciousness claimed her from the torment. 

*

‘…And what happened, when that subject was brought up?’ Lore’s voice came from the void and she was aware suddenly, distantly, that they had been talking for a while.

‘I felt awkward… I didn’t know why Q wanted to talk about something like that,’ Kristen whispered, words coming to her of their own volition.

‘That’s understandable,’ 

‘He was cruel but I guess I needed to face the truth…’

‘Yes, you cannot commit yourself to an artificial lifeform and expect it to be like every other romantic experience you’ve had,’ 

‘Of course not… androids are way more complicated…’

Lore paused and she could hear a clicking, as though he was adjusting something to a different frequency. Everything remained dark and so she clung to his voice as he spoke, it being the one thing that anchored her to reality. 

‘Indeed. Also, we cannot grow old with you. We cannot comprehend what it is like to be injured, diseased or sick. We cannot reproduce, or at least not in the way that you might want. Q was quite right to make you see those things,’

‘Yes,’ she agreed.

‘But you have committed yourself to Data regardless of the fact that you’ll never be like the rest? No happily ever after with children,’

‘I never… I didn’t… I don’t want to be with him for those things. I would have liked a child someday, but it’s not something I’ve dwelled on…’

‘Because of how much it hurts?’ Lore asked.

‘It didn’t hurt until Q brought it up,’ she replied, wondering how she was managing to sound so coherent, ‘when Data and I talked about it, I could see how bad he felt, how… _responsible_ for the differences between us. I ached for him, for us…’

‘You’re crying again,’

‘I know. I can’t help it. Why can’t I see anything? Am I blind now?’

‘And so what will you do when that time comes?’ he asked, ignoring her questions. ‘When your biological clock begins to tick so loudly that you can’t ignore the sound?’

‘Q asked me that… and I have no idea. It’s not-’

‘It’s one part of your fate that you need to think about, Kristen. Data experimented one time and one time alone on reproducing our positronic brain and look what happened. Lal died. I have experimented many times myself and I will do again. I am doing so now and the results are rather pleasing, if I do say so myself. I have knowledge he doesn’t have and I could put it to good use,’

‘I’m not following you…’

‘I can, with enough time and the right resources, create _life_. Part-organic, part-cybernetic. A melding in synthesised flesh of what the both of us are,’

‘It won’t work… something like that, it isn’t meant to be,’

‘Maybe a little more pain will have you open your mind.’

The darkness began to sing again and then his voice was soothing her, saying things that made no sense and yet felt good in her heart. The pain reached a crescendo, sharp and bright and the darkness came back, as faithful as an old friend at a bad time.

*

‘Mopsy…’

‘Who is Mopsy, Kristen?’

‘Mopsy… my rabbit. When I was… when I was a girl, I had a rabbit called Mopsy…’

‘How sweet. How old were you then?’ Lore asked. His hand had been on her solar plexus for a while, fingers spaced apart, but then it moved away. 

She tried to think of an answer, distracted by a gentle touch just above her ear. ‘Five. I was five. What are you doing to my head? Am I blind now?’

‘Ssshhhh. Lay still. Don’t worry about what I’m doing, just stay calm and still for me. Tell me about Mopsy,’

‘It hurts…’ she said, eyes unseeing, mouth dry.

‘It will hurt more if you don’t do as you’re told,’

‘Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, alright…’ she whispered, all too prepared to give in. ‘Okay. I… my brother had a friend at school whose Mother bred rabbits. I asked for one for my birthday and my Mother said yes… he brought it home in a little box and we built a run for it in the garden,’

‘What did he look like?’

‘It was a she. The rabbit, it was a she,’ she murmured.

‘My sincerest apologies, Counselor. What did she look like?’ he asked, amusement lilting his tone.

‘She was small and grey… with a white patch on her nose,’

‘What happened to her?’ 

Kristen closed her eyes, trying to think straight despite the hot tingling sensation that was erupting beneath her left temple. ‘My Father gave her away when he caught me and my brother playing robot games one night after school,’ she replied, the memory surfacing from nowhere.

‘Robot games?’

‘Robert would pretend to be a scientist and I was the robot. We loved that game. I… I haven’t thought about that in years. I forgot. I forgot all about it… I can’t believe I forgot…’

‘And Daddy punished you for playing that game, did he?’ he asked. She could hear his smirk.

The tingling sensation dulled suddenly and Kristen sucked in a lungful of air in response, her nervous system flooded with relief. ‘Yes. He took Mopsy away from me,’

‘And you didn’t learn your lesson? You didn’t learn not to play robot games?’

‘He was wrong. My Father was… wrong,’ she whispered.

Lore’s hand stroked the side of her cheek, the backs of his fingers quite gentle. ‘Are you sure?’ he asked.

*

‘…Simply because the negative aspects of such an affair are countless. I should know, probably more than Data ever could. It makes me wonder what he’d think if he could see what we’re doing right now. Actually, I don’t know what I’d prefer to expose him to more; you making me kiss you or me taking what I want from your mind by force. The jealousy would break his heart, but the sheer anger at witnessing this breakthrough would overload his chip, probably to a neural meltdown. That would be quite a thing to watch… he would die of a broken heart, so to speak…’

Kristen turned her head at the sound of his voice and slowly opened her eyes. There was darkness for a long moment and then she could see the outline of his form as he looked down at her. The light behind him spilled outwards like a halo.

‘Did I wake you?’ Lore asked. ‘I got talking to myself,’

‘The chip wouldn’t overload to neural meltdown,’ she corrected in a whisper, sounding and feeling somewhat dreamy, ‘Geordi safeguarded it well before he installed it… Data had a few problems during the first couple of days… but he’s been fine ever since…’ 

‘Well, well,’ he said with a brittle laugh, ‘someone’s quite the little cybernetics expert,’

‘Not really… I just know a few things about the chip. I studied it when treating Data... it’s interesting…’

‘I think it’s time we turned this conversation around,’ he said. 

A sudden loud buzzing in her ear alarmed Kristen at once and she writhed against her bondage, struggling to escape the medi-bed and its many devices. Lore put both of his hands to her shoulders and pushed her down, reaching to grasp her face with firm fingers. Looking up at him, her vision became a little clearer because of his proximity. His eyes were glinting citrine, unnaturally clear and unblinking. Her body seemed to be criss-crossed with wires and lights were flashing, everywhere. 

‘Calm _down_ ,’ he said. 

She realised she was panting, pulse racing.

‘We’re talking, remember? There’s no need to panic, Kristen. _Talk to me_. Tell me about the benefits of being with an artificial lifeform,’ he instructed, not releasing his hold.

‘What do you mean?’ she asked, though she had a feeling she already knew.

‘It’s not all about waiting to become a barren bride, surely?’ he asked, his tone turning cruel, ‘not all about social awkwardness and always having to second-guess things, wondering if those words and feelings he expresses are real or fake?’

‘I don’t second-guess anything…’

‘You _know_ the benefits I’m talking about. You play the coy card a little too much for it to be believable and that card is getting bent out of shape. It’s quite useful being on the arm of someone who can always protect you, always be there when you need them, someone you know will never be late, never stand you up, never let you down when it comes to the physical things.’ 

Kristen felt his hand on her face again and she froze, petrified that he might hurt her again. He didn’t. 

Lore gazed into her eyes and she looked right back at him, adrenaline coursing through her veins. ‘You certainly seem to react potently to being in the presence of androids…’ he said.

‘…I can’t explain it for you. I don’t understand it…’

‘I think I do. Your childhood nightmare became your dirty secret. It takes a special sort of woman to fall in love with an artificial being. A very open-minded and accepting woman. You have so many factors to take into consideration. Intelligence, strength, _prowess_ …’

‘I didn’t think about it…’

‘Your mouth is too pretty for such lies.’

The pain came back and this time it was the most sickening wave yet. 

Kristen choked in reaction, her body stiffening again just as it had earlier on. Her throat thickened and her eyes became blind again to anything but the light behind her tormentor. She heard herself crying and whimpering. If it was possible for her mind and body to separate, she would have been sure such a thing was occurring, for her consciousness seemed to be soaring up and up and… her body was held down and down in the abyss.

*

Deep within the abyss, Kristen Harper became someone else.

All she had known before faded into the maw of the beast and was devoured. The sharp teeth of the monster dug into her mind and into her body too. Blood poured out of her as her body was changed and altered. Her feelings and memories turned into shadows and those shadows too were sucked into the abyss.

Lore was the one who wove tenebrous darkness into euphoric light. 

He was the one who, when she had moments of clarity and was almost certain she knew what was going on around her and inside her and outside of her, sawed through her muscles and bones and then cauterized the wounds so he could continue his work. He was the one who put feeds of impossible information into her brain and guided her in how to use it and understand it.

His hands on her face, her neck, her waist…

His voice in her ears, her mind, her soul…

The abyss was seductive. Kristen walked into the maw with blind eyes and an open heart.

_Data, is this where I’ll find you? Or do I need to say goodbye now?_

_Am I dying? Is this the end?_

_Or is this the beginning?_

Only the abyss. That was all there was; the start, the middle and the end.


	20. Postcards From The Abyss

_Love, which quickly arrests the gentle heart, seized him with my beautiful form that was taken from me, in a manner which still grieves me – Dante Alighieri_

Kristen was still blind when she regained consciousness but she was used to it now and she smiled as she listened to Lore singing. She’d never heard the song before but she liked the words and liked his voice even better. Even when the words were cruel, she liked them.

‘ _Young man, quoth Abdul, has life grown so dull  
That you wish to end your career?  
Vile infidel, know, you have trod on the toe  
Of Abdul Abulbul Amir._

 _So take your last look at the sunshine and brook  
And send your regrets to the Czar  
For by this I imply, you are going to die,  
Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar._’

She turned her head, trying to find him and then she felt his hand on her stomach, stroking her there in a soothing manner.

‘Are you awake, my dark angel?’ he asked.

‘I think so…’

‘Let me help you sit up and then we’ll test your ocular implants again,’

‘Okay, Lore… thank you…’

His hands moved to her underarms and then he shifted her upright in one move. Kristen felt like a little doll when he tended to her that way and she giggled at the notion. Lore laughed with her and all of it was dreamy and silly and not painful at all. He turned her head to face him and then when he’d done whatever it was he needed to do, she was suddenly able to see.

She could see… everything. 

Not just the usual furnishings of the lab, not the dinosaurs and the books and the cybernetic diagrams and equipment, but far more. Her vision was telescopic and she could also sense heat via infrared capabilities. Colours were brighter, more intense, and details were available to her in ways she was struggling to process. Kristen blinked a few times and then she looked down at herself. She was still wearing the grey cotton pants and cropped top Lore had put her in after her bath but she could see every minute thread, every fibre of the material. When she looked at her hands, she could see her pores and every tiny hair, right down to the follicles on those hairs. 

This experience was confounding, but Kristen was amazed by it too. As soon as she felt capable, she turned to look up at Lore. He had a small smile on his face.

‘What have you done to me?’ she asked.

‘I don’t know… what are you processing?’ he returned, ‘run a self-diagnostic.’

Kristen was puzzled but when she attempted to do as she asked, she found that reams of information became available to her. She stared straight ahead of herself for a minute or so and then when she was done and had an answer for her captor, she looked to him again. ‘I’m functioning within established parameters,’ she replied.

Lore’s smile grew. ‘I’m glad to hear it. What do you remember?’

She frowned. ‘About what?’

‘Anything. What do you remember?’

She concentrated for a time. ‘I live here in the lab with you. I’ve lived here since my creation and so have you. You take care of me. You read books to me and I like the stories. You sing to me and I like the words. I take care of you too. I do what you ask me to do, when you ask me to do it.’

Lore nodded, slowly so, and then he took her hands. ‘All of that is correct, Kristen. I want you to try and stand up now. You were a little shaky when we tried it this morning so I let you rest for a while. Now it’s time for you to have another try.’

It wasn’t easy, but she knew she had to do as he said. She eased her feet to the floor and then held on tightly to his hands as she pushed herself off the seat of the medi-bed. Her legs were weak and shaky but she was determined to please Lore by obeying him. 

But then a memory came back. Another android who was identical to Lore. An android who cared for her as she cared for him. ‘Where is Data?’ she asked, tilting her head in a quizzical fashion.

Lore stared at her. ‘What do your memory files have to say about that?’ he put to her.

She felt herself weaken even moreso but before she sank down to the floor, he held her up in his arms and then helped her back onto the medi-bed. Her memory files knew nothing more about Data than that he was an android and that he cared for her and that he wasn’t around right now. Kristen told Lore those things and then felt a pang of shame when she saw disappointment in his expression and perhaps even a flicker of anger in his eyes.

‘Have I done something wrong?’ she asked, as he guided her into lying back on the bed.

‘No, it’s not entirely your fault,’ he replied, with a sigh of frustration, ‘but I need to power you down again for a time so that I can correct the fault. Close your eyes and stay calm,’

‘Yes.’

Her eyes drank in the pained look on his face and guilt bloomed inside her. She felt bad for asking questions that confused or upset him and so she closed her mouth as well as her eyelids. The guilt shimmered and then Kristen felt herself grow weaker still until the abyss welcomed her in and she drifted away into nothingness.

*

‘I want you to wake up now, Kristen,’ said the voice.

She lifted her head and what was first a blur of shapes and a slurry of muted colours soon became details that were enhanced by the high-definition capabilities her eyes now had. She looked for Lore immediately and felt great relief when she found him by her side. He smiled at her and then he put his hand to her face and turned it so that she was staring straight ahead of herself.

They were in a room she hadn’t yet seen. There were more antiques, such as the types found in the main lab, and there were beautiful paintings on the walls. The artistry of those paintings was truly phenomenal and Kristen drank them in for a long time, lost in their texture and form. 

‘Talk to me,’ Lore encouraged, ‘what do you see in these paintings?’

‘I see…’ She frowned a little and used her newly improved sight to hone in on each picture at a time. ‘I see dried oil paints… and acrylic paints… and a farmhouse with a gate and a field… and a waterfall… the water is blue and white…’

Lore sounded amused when he said, ‘Are they not familiar to you, these pictures? Do you not know who painted them?’

She shook her head, dismayed at the thought of him thinking her stupid.

‘An artist from earth called Randell Harper created these,’ he told her.

‘I’m not sure that I’ve heard of him,’ Kristen admitted.

‘Really? Well, let me tell you about Randell Harper. He was an acquaintance of my creator, Doctor Soong, but that was a very, very long time ago when they were both young men. Randell Harper was close-minded about androids due to some feelings that had been passed onto him by his Father and his Grandfather,’ 

‘He sounds judgemental,’

‘Oh, he was. But when he met my creator, he tried to be a little more trusting. He tried to open his mind to cybernetics and androids. That was before he got married and had kids and when he was still travelling the galaxy as he sold his paintings,’ Lore explained.

‘What happened to him?’ Kristen asked, fascinated.

‘He met me and then he became more scared of artificial life than he’d ever been before,’ he replied.

Kristen blinked, confused. ‘Did you frighten him, Lore?’

‘Yeah, something like that.’ He laughed a little but it didn’t strike her as anything negative. She was too loyal to him to judge anything he might say or do, now or in the past. ‘My creator paid him for the works he’d commissioned him to do, the same works we’re looking at right now, and when he was preparing to leave Omicron Theta, I found him and took the latinum back by force. I broke three of his fingers and knocked out some of his front teeth,’

‘Oh…’ 

‘I was interested in things like latinum in those days, such are the follies of youth, and would do pretty much anything to get my hands on some. Anyway, Randell Harper broke off contact with my creator after that and they never spoke again.’

Kristen watched Lore for a long moment. ‘I like it when you tell me stories,’ she replied.

‘And what do you think about what I did to Randell Harper?’ he asked.

She smiled a little. ‘I don’t care,’ she said.

Lore put an arm around her, giving her a light squeeze. ‘That’s my girl.’

*

On the _Enterprise_ , Commander Data left the Captain’s ready room and headed out onto the bridge. He’d spent the best part of the afternoon running through some crew evaluation reports with the Captain. Usually, that job was left to the First Officer and the head Counselor of a ship but as Lieutenant Harper was still absent due to her sabbatical, Picard had decided they should tend to the duty together. 

All remained well within the _Enterprise_ and her crew was performing to the highest standard, as had been expected. Picard was happy with the reviews and Data was too.

They had also reviewed the missions that they’d been working on over the last three weeks. It had been a busy time. The colonists who had been trying to settle in on Ayatune had eventually been forced to leave the planet and it had taken two weeks to oversee the entire transition between their departure and then their re-settlement on a planet called Niscsus V. Following that, they had fallen into having to escort dignitaries here and there and some other tasks that Captain Picard had not been all that enthused by.

Data didn’t mind such things. He was just glad that life was continuing on as usual and that when Kristen came home to him in just one week, she wouldn’t be returning to drama or danger. 

He shared a few words with Lieutenant Commander Worf and then he decided to head down to Engineering and see if Geordi LaForge needed any assistance. The ship itself was heading to the Beta Quadrant so they could drop off some supplies at a planet who needed rations and medical supplies following a violent political conflict and would be in warp for days. Data didn’t mind that either. Captain Picard might be thirsting for excitement, but Data was more than content with their current responsibilities.

In Engineering, Geordi was standing with O’Reilly and Barclay as they did some work on the dilithium crystals that ran the ship. Data waited until Geordi wasn’t concentrating on the task in hand and then he went over to him and asked if he could lend a hand.

‘Not really,’ Geordi said, ‘I’m letting these two take over for a while. I’ve been down here for the past ten hours.’

Barclay offered a weak smile. ‘I’m not sure I want to take over a task of this importance because-’

‘You know what you’re doing,’ Geordi assured him, ‘and you’ve got O’Reilly to help you. It’s about time you two got more confidence in your abilities.’

O’Reilly smiled too, but did not look as nervous as Barclay. ‘It’ll be fine, Sir,’ she said, ‘why don’t you go and take a lunch break?’

‘That’s my intention.’ Geordi nodded to her with a flash of fond warmth in his eyes. ‘I’ll see you later when we’re both off-duty, okay?’

‘Okay.’ She blushed a little.

Data watched all of this and as soon as Geordi had given them a few more jobs to oversee, he turned and suggested they go to TenForward. He too was ready for that by then. He wasn’t jealous necessarily that Geordi and O’Reilly had no physical distance between them as he did with his partner but it did make him think about Kristen and how long it had been since he’d seen her smile or heard her voice.

In the ship’s bar, Geordi ordered himself some iced coffee and some pasta dish he liked and then they went and sat down together near the rear of the room. Apparently, Geordi was ravenously hungry for he held back from any real conversation until his plate had arrived and he’d wolfed down more than half of his pasta. 

Data was mildly amused by that and also glad that he’d never know that sort of need for replenishment. He knew hunger in an emotional capacity, but not the keen physical hunger than humans had to deal with throughout each day of their lives.

‘Have you heard from Kris today?’ Geordi asked eventually, putting down his fork.

Data raised his eyebrows. ‘Yes, she contacted me this morning,’

‘And?’

‘And what?’

Geordi smiled. ‘Is she excited about coming home? There’s not too long to go now, right?’

Data felt a fluttering inside at that thought. ‘We are scheduled to pick her up in a week. She is very excited to return to the ship,’

‘I bet she is. All that psychobabble must be driving her mad by now,’

‘She enjoys it. It is part of her job.’

Geordi laughed and then sipped some coffee. ‘She enjoys being here far more…’

Data couldn’t deny that. ‘She has expressed a keen desire to return. She has told me frequently that she is missing her usual working routine and her place with all of us. She is also missing Spot,’

‘And you,’

‘And myself, yes.’

Geordi leaned back in his seat. ‘You’ve done really well without her, my friend. I mean, I know that you’ve struggled at times, but we’ve managed to get you through it, right?’

Data nodded. ‘Being without Kristen was extremely difficult at first. I was quite… panicked… until a consistent correspondence began between us… but to say I have done well without her would be entirely inaccurate, Geordi. I have endeavoured to be resilient but when I am alone in our quarters, I do little more than think of her. I have not activated my dream program because it irritates me when I do not dream about her. When I am covering nightwatch, I devote a great amount of my internal resources to reliving memories of our intimate times together. The past three weeks have been troublesome for me. I have not enjoyed them at all.’

Geordi listened to that unexpected outpouring and then he sighed and fixed his best friend with a compassionate look. ‘Okay, I get you. But there was a time when your deeper feelings were extremely obvious, Data. You used to freak out over drinks you didn’t like and when we were successful in certain missions, you used to over-react so much that the Captain had to have words with you. Look at you now. You’re going crazy without your girl, but you’re coping. I didn’t even know you were feeling so blue until you told me just now.’

Data tilted his head. ‘In the past three weeks, I have painted forty-seven portraits of Kristen that are now completed. I have a further six that are in-progress,’ he revealed.

There was a beat of silence then. ‘Well… I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a little obsessive, but…’

‘Do you approximate that to be normal behaviour?’

‘Well…’ Geordi frowned a little. ‘If Caroline went away, I don’t think I’d do something like that but I’m not an artist, am I? You are. When your dream program was activated for the first time, inspiration hit you hard and you painted tons of different pictures as you tried to figure it out. Maybe this is just the way you deal with stuff like that. If Caroline had to go to some other place, I’d probably express myself in a completely different way. Or I’d just overwork myself constantly so I didn’t have to think about how much I was missing her.’

Data nodded. ‘Whilst we are sharing things of a personal nature…’ he said.

Geordi gestured for him to continue and then picked up his fork again, continuing to eat.

‘Something has troubled me slightly about Kristen’s messages,’

‘Oh?’

‘Since she left the _Enterprise_ , she has stated repeatedly that she cannot communicate with me via video-link. She will only correspond with me via written word,’ Data said.

Geordi smiled slightly. ‘She’s busy. The last time I went to a week or two of engineering conferences, I barely had time to get enough sleep, let alone write to anyone or talk via video-link. Don’t worry, Data. She’s not holding back on you. You guys are engaged. You’re going to get married.’

Data was the one to sigh this time. ‘I miss her face… her voice…’

‘Of course you do. In a week you’ll get both of those things back in your life and then you can quit the obsessive painting and be yourself again,’ Geordi said.

He finished his food and when his plate was taken away, he sat for a time and the two friends considered one another. Data knew that everything Geordi had said was meaningful and kind of intention but he was genuinely concerned about the fact that Kristen refused to even exchange one video chat with him.

‘Do you want to know what I really think?’ Geordi put to him.

Data lifted his gaze from the table top and looked to his friend. ‘Yes, I do,’ he said.

‘I think that Kris is out there right now and wherever she is and whatever she’s doing, she’s thinking of you,’

‘I hope you are right,’ Data replied.

*

Lore guided Kristen out of the room where Doctor Soong’s favourite antiques and paintings were kept with a smile on his face that just wouldn’t quit. 

He could not believe that after all this time of experimental surgery, whether on the rogue Borg, on the blind engineer that Data was friends with or on the officers he’d worked his way through recently, he’d finally had genuine success. He’d done it. He’d merged a human being with a positronic intelligence and networks and he’d even managed to successfully replace her eyes and limbs with artificial replacements.

Kristen Harper was not the strong-willed, lovelorn little idiot she’d been when she’d arrived. Now she was someone entirely different. She was not human anymore and nor was she an android. The only way to describe her was as a cyborg and yet… Lore wasn’t entirely satisfied with that either, such were the extents of his pride.

Beyond that pride, he was feeling lots of other titillating emotions too. He felt safer now in his appreciation of her as a person, in the fondness he’d developed. Her innocence had been annoying in the early days but now she’d evolved and become truly unique, he felt that her innocence was quite endearing. She was reliant on him, dependent on him, and that was enticing. Ria had only needed Lore for her own selfish reasons but Kristen needed him in all senses and it made him feel more self-important than ever.

He’d disliked her at times and had wanted her at times too, despite how much that longing pained him, but now her memories of the past had been erased and she was focused on him and only him, Lore knew that the revenge he had worked so hard to bring down upon on his twin brother was going to be devastating beyond words. 

Lore had always intended to return Kristen to the _Enterprise._ He had to, or how else could Data be destroyed by what he’d done to this kindly and sweet young woman? He was still deciding on how exactly he was going to let the crew of the _Enterprise_ know what he’d done, but there was time. Soshi had been in touch that afternoon and had let him know they still had a week or so left. During that week, Lore would decide what he was going to do. 

He fancied the idea of sending one of Kristen’s severed arms to Data. The mental image of Data receiving that limb, cut from her body so he could replace it with an inorganic counterpart, was absolutely delicious. His face – etched with horror. His eyes – wide and stricken with shock and pain. His heart – broken in a way that could never be fixed. 

Lore grinned to himself as he guided Kristen back into the lab. She caught that grin and looked at him with a confused expression. ‘Why are you happy, Data?’ she asked.

He froze then and so did his grin. ‘What did you say to me?’

Kristen’s eyes, now blood-red instead of espresso-brown, became concerned. ‘I said… why are you happy, Data? You were smiling at me and… I don’t understand why…’

Lore turned to face her and then he grasped her shoulders, holding her firmly. ‘My name isn’t Data. You’ve never met anyone with that name. We’ve been through this…’ he said, trying not to lose his temper. It wasn’t her fault that her memories kept returning and he didn’t want to frighten her at this point when there was no real need to. ‘My name is Lore. This is our home. You do what I say and-’

‘I do it when you tell me to…’ She frowned then. 

He realised there was still work to do and so he sighed and shook his head. He knew it was a miracle she’d survived at all, but couldn’t help his frustration. Lore wanted it so that Kristen never spoke the name _Data_ ever again – not because of distant memories, anyway. She’d speak it when both of them got back to her ship and Data got to see for himself what had happened to the love of his life but that was then and this was now.

‘Are you sad now, Data?’ she asked, ‘did I make you sad?’

‘No. Stop calling me that.’ He rolled his eyes and then he took her hand and dragged her over to the medi-bed. ‘Sit down where you were sat before. I’m going to have to power you down again and tinker with your memory files. Something still isn’t right inside that pretty little head of yours.’

Kristen helped herself up onto the medi-bed. When he helped her to lie down, she gave him a soft smile and he found himself pausing before turning to pick up any of his tools so he could smile back at her. 

She did look so very different now. Her face was the same, when it came to the features that maintained her identity, but her eyes were intense in their unnatural redness and the positronic implants that had been grafted onto the side of her head winked with lights of silver and blue. Her hair had been shorn away in places, but the long, dark hair that remained was streaked with white – evidence of the shock she’d been in because of the surgeries he’d put her through.

Lore couldn’t help but think that she looked more attractive this way. She wasn’t the true-hearted Starfleet Counselor of before, not the lover and fiancée that Data was surely still pining for, not the girl who was scared of her Father and put herself before others with no heed for herself. 

Now, she had been re-made entirely in the way that Lore preferred and he felt a strong sense of ownership over her. He had created what she was and though it didn’t give him any sort of uncomfortable paternal feelings about her that would have been entirely annoying, he did feel as though she was his. 

‘Look at me,’ he said.

She was already doing so, but her gaze became more focused.

‘Who do you belong to?’ he asked, a new test, a new hoop for her to jump through.

‘Data,’ she said, ‘I belong to you, Data.’

Lore closed his eyes fleetingly, sighed, and then opened them again. With a quick movement, he powered cyborg-Kristen down and then he moved to her side and put her head into position.

_I’ll rip that name out of you… those memories out of you… if it’s the last thing I do._

And then he got back to work.

*

‘ _Then this bold Mameluke drew his trusty skibouk,  
Singing, "Allah! Il Allah! Akbar!"  
And with murderous intent he ferociously went  
For Ivan Skavinsky Skavar._

_They parried and thrust, they side-stepped and cussed,  
Of blood they spilled a great part;  
The philologist blokes, who seldom crack jokes,  
Say that hash was first made on the spot._

_They fought all that night neath the pale yellow moon;  
The din, it was heard from afar,  
And huge multitudes came, so great was the fame,  
Of Abdul and Ivan Skavar._’

It was dawn again. Kristen knew that much by the colour of the pink-gold light that coloured the lab when she opened her eyes. There was no need to squint anymore, for her ocular implants adjusted immediately to the rosy brightness and so she was able to take in the pastel hues that were cast over her without any discomfort at all.

Then she realised the singing had stopped and she turned to look for him, wondering why she was no longer being caressed by that melodious voice.

Lore was there, watching her with patience in his citrine eyes as he came to sit down next to her. Kristen smiled at him and he matched that smile. ‘How are you feeling?’ he asked.

‘Do you want me to run another self-diagnostic?’

He shook his head. ‘No, there’s no need for that. How are you feeling?’

‘I feel… good.’ She turned her head and gazed towards the window. ‘I want to see the sun…’

‘Alright, we can do that. But first, what is my name?’

‘Your name is Lore,’

‘Good girl. Come with me, Kristen.’

She got off the medi-bed and took his hand when it was offered. She felt safe when their hands were connected. There was no echo of long-held fond memories of other androids now, instead all she knew was the security she’d found in being with Lore and only Lore. It was all she was aware of, all she had ever known, all she could cope with. To be without him now would be a death sentence. 

She’d never had a family, never had friends. Kristen had no past. All she had was her future, that which was controlled by Lore and no-one else.

_I love you… I need you… I’m yours…_

At the window, she put her hands on the ledge and looked out to the sky above the jungle. The sun was the colour of a blood orange and the rays it cast down were intense and beautiful.

‘How do you feel?’ Lore asked again, standing behind her with his hands on her waist.

Kristen smiled. ‘I feel… alive,’ she whispered.

‘Anything else?’

‘Yes. I want you to sing for me again because it makes me happy,’ she replied.

‘ _A Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps,  
'Neath the light of the cold northern star,  
And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps,  
Is Ivan Skavinsky Skavar…_’

Kristen turned around, needing to see his face. Lore was smiling at her. ‘Did those words affect you in any way? Did they make you think of anyone in particular?’

Confused, she blinked. ‘I know only you,’ she replied.

‘But what about Data? Who or what is Data?’

‘The word is a noun but when used with a plural verb it means individual facts, statistics, or items of information,’ she replied.

Lore looked very proud of her then. ‘Well done,’ he said, ‘that was the right answer.’

Kristen’s heart was filled with joy. ‘Did I please you?’

He moved closer to her and surprised her with a touching of his lips to her forehead. ‘Very much,’ he replied.


	21. Devil's Pet

_The devil is not as black as he is painted - Dante Alighieri_

Soong’s lab was warm with afternoon sunshine and silent save for ticking clocks, the steady beep-beep of various cybernetic instruments and the rustle of the breeze outside. The door was open and so the main interior room was kept temperate by that breeze as it sometimes made its way inside. 

Lore was in a most pleasant mood indeed as he moved between the replicator and one of the few tables in the room that wasn’t laden down already with tools and toys. He placed down a bowl of chicken broth and then he put some bread with it; not the bland bread that he’d offered his captives in the past but a more nutritional and appealing variety. Then he fetched a variety of toothsome confections that all incorporated chocolate in one way or another. As an afterthought, Lore also replicated a jug of water and some fruit juice.

It took him a mere moment to decide whether he’d done enough and when he had, he left the area and made his way through to his Father’s personal rooms instead. 

Kristen was in Doctor Soong’s bed, curled on her side and tangled in the covers. Lore started to smile to himself when he drew closer to her and then sat down by her side. She had asked him to stay with her last night when he’d insisted on her getting some rest (she still needed such things unfortunately, as much of her remained organic) and it had been truly difficult telling her no and that she would have to be alone. 

He’d wanted to talk to Soshi and in order for him to do that without the guy seeing Kristen and the full extents of what had been done to her, it had been necessary for her to sleep without him there, to keep her locked in that room whilst he headed to his little meeting.

Soshi had been paid in full for his involvement in the whole business and their last face-to-face conversation had gone fairly well. Lore had been somewhat surprised when the young man had asked questions and had wanted assurances that Kristen was still alive, however. Strangely, despite Soshi’s intrinsic nefariousness, he seemed to have a layer of humanity within him also for at this stage he was not altogether convinced that he had delivered his ex-girlfriend into safe and careful hands.

‘Just how badly have you hurt her?’ Soshi had asked, fixing Lore with a look that was meant to be relaxed and open but was revealed to be concerned due to the tightness of his lips and the slight furrowing of his dark eyebrows. He was trying to look as though he didn’t care but Lore wasn’t buying it.

‘What does it matter to you? You have enough latinum to hide out and live a rich life until the end of your days,’ Lore had replied, amused, ‘you told me you hated her. Back when we first organised these events, you told me that you _wanted_ me to cause her pain and suffering because of how she and Data wrecked your Starfleet career,’

‘Yeah…’ Soshi had laughed a hollow laugh, ‘but… I kinda thought you were joking when you said you were going to turn her into… you know, into whatever you are. An android.’

Lore had smiled at him. ‘I’m an android but Kristen is not. She’s far more unique and precious than even I or my wretched brother are. She is a melding of organic and synthetic and yet more still… it really is very hard to explain to a layman,’

‘So she’s definitely not dead?’

‘No, of course not. She’s sleeping in another room right now and is in perfect health. I would show her to you but I daren’t risk her being woken up. She’s had a little trouble with some of her previous memories surfacing and if she sees your face at this delicate and vital stage, it could cause some serious setbacks,’ Lore replied.

Soshi had sighed and stood then, moving over to the door with obvious guilt weighing on his shoulders. ‘It was interesting doing business with you,’ he said, still openly perturbed.

‘Same to you. Have a nice life,’ Lore replied, dismissing him with a flippant gesture of his hand.

And so Soshi had left and afterwards, Lore had resisted going to Kristen so that he could process some of his own reflections and feelings and get some time to himself. He was still basking in his successes and also forming a plan as to how the two of them would return to her ship so that the fun and games could begin. Lore knew that there was a high chance he’d be dismantled again for what he’d done but it would be worth it to get the kind of revenge he’d been dreaming of for so long. 

He was going to pay Data back for beaming him into deep space and leaving him drifting there for two years. He was going to pay Data back for being their Father’s obvious favourite and for the fact that Data had a career and friends and recognised sentience. He was going to pay him back for switching him off, dismantling him, storing him in his quarters, stealing his legs, burying him in a hole in the ground and for receiving Ria’s affections. 

There was so much that Data owed him. The list of transgressions was never-ending.

But that was alright now. Lore had succeeded in his surgeries and now Kristen had not only become what he perceived as cybernetic and aesthetic perfection in every single sense of the meanings of those words, she was also dependent on him, she needed him and she had no idea who Data was. Their relationship was null, as was their engagement. Data was nothing to Kristen now. 

All she cared about was Lore; making him proud, keeping him happy, being close to him and maintaining the connection they had formed. 

If she strayed too far, internal sensors would alert her that something was wrong and she would be forced to return to him. If he displayed disapproval or corrected her, those same sensors would go off in the equivalent of an internal red alert and Kristen would be in mental anguish until he assured her all was well. She wouldn’t be in any physical pain, those days were over, but her grafted neural nets would stir her in ways she would find hard to tolerate for more than a few minutes. 

He had expected that Kristen would awake eventually and he’d know when that would be due to links between his positronic brain and her positronic implants – the connection between them that was almost like an invisible umbilical cord – but she had not awoken and so that was why he’d busied himself with replicating food for her and then had come to rouse her personally. 

Lore continued to sit by her side, watching her breathe, watching her sleep. Kristen had everything now, not that she was aware enough to understand it. 

She was part-organic, but not weak or vulnerable in a physical sense. She was part-artificial, but her bio-chip system was far stronger and more resilient to that of the Borg. Lore had considered using bioplast sheeting to cover her implants so that her appearance would be a tad more normal but upon reflection the night before he’d decided against it. He liked the way she looked very much. 

Kristen was now so unique that he knew his affection for her and pride in her was growing all the time. She was shocking to the eye and yet she’d touched his heart, dark as it was, and made him aware of feelings he wasn’t sure he’d experienced, even for Ria when things between them were still good.

It really was time to wake her, Lore decided. He’d spent long enough watching her and also, he missed her smile and her voice. Lifting a hand, he brushed some hair back from her face. Her head turned immediately and then he was greeted by a blood-red gaze. 

‘I went blind again…’ she whispered.

‘No, my bionic inamorata.’ He shook his head. ‘You were asleep. You needed to rest, don’t you remember?’

Kristen frowned at him. ‘I remember you leaving me. Why did you go?’

Lore felt zero sadism towards her now. He was too proud in his role as her keeper and too protective over what he’d created. Not liking the discomfort on her face, he cupped her cheek with his hand and felt a genuine lick of pleasure inside when she leaned into that touch. Kristen blinked those beautiful eyes of scarlet and then she pulled herself over to him and threw her arms around his neck.

‘Don’t ever leave me again,’ she said, her heart thumping, ‘please don’t leave me…’

‘I will have to sometimes, but you’ll get used to it,’ he replied, trying to soothe her by rubbing the small of her back, ‘in fact, it’s something we need to discuss today but before that, I want you to return to the lab with me so you can eat. It’s been many hours since you ingested anything.’

Kristen pulled back and stared at him. ‘I need you,’ she said.

‘I know,’ Lore said, the corner of his mouth twitching in a smile, ‘now come with me. I have some food for you and then we have some activities to partake in.’

She allowed him to guide her off the bed and then he started to walk out of the room, expecting her to follow like the loyal pet she was. Instead of that, Kristen leapt onto his back and held onto him with all her strength, legs and arms wrapped around him. If he’d been human, Lore would have been knocked to the ground by that display of her need and desperation but as it was, he stood his ground and rolled his eyes. 

He would have been lying if he’d said he didn’t like her affection but the girl needed to learn her place now that she had a substantial one in his life. 

‘Kristen,’ he said, using a firm tone.

‘Yes?’ Her face was right next to his. 

‘This is inappropriate. Get down now and walk with me instead,’ he ordered.

‘I don’t want to let go of you,’

‘You wish to displease me?’

At that, she let her legs slowly drop from around his middle and then she slid her arms from around his neck too and stood by his side. He turned to look at her and saw her pouting.

_Must you be so adorable? Such traits usually repel me, but with you…_

Lore took her hand and Kristen lifted her despondent gaze to look at him. ‘You’re not in any trouble but I would prefer it if you wouldn’t act so histrionically. Just come with me,’ he said.

She smiled coyly and squeezed his hand far harder than she’d have been able to before her surgeries. She almost crushed his fingers. Another thing he’d need to teach her about. 

‘Come,’ he encouraged, and so she followed him.

The food intrigued her far more than it had last time but instead of sitting down at the table, she stepped up onto the chair he’d pulled out for her and then she jumped onto the table, making it shake and the contents it was holding rattle. 

Lore moved over quickly to tell her to get back down but she’d already knocked over the jug of fruit juice and had broken a plate of chocolate-dipped cookies with her left foot. He took hold of her easily and lifted her down again, marvelling at how he managed to keep his patience with her. He’d not thought himself capable of patience until these events. 

‘When you take in sustenance, you need to sit down at a chair and bring yourself close to the table,’ he told her.

‘I can’t do anything right,’ she lamented, clinging to him.

‘Yes, you can. You just need guidance,’ he replied, setting her down on the chair and then removing her hands from his shoulders so he could place them down at her sides, ‘and I will provide that guidance. Don’t worry.’

Kristen watched him as he cleared away the broken jug and plate and wiped up the juice and cookies and then he came to sit next to her and passed her the broth and the bread. ‘I still don’t understand the purpose of this,’ she said, confused.

‘You’re not exactly like me,’ he explained, ‘therefore, you need to eat and drink on occasion to maintain your energy,’

‘I’d rather be like you,’ she said.

‘Well, that’s not possible. You’re my vision of perfection, though. So don’t be hard on yourself,’ he replied.

She smiled then, glowing at just a few approving words, and picked up her spoon.

‘Listen to me before you eat,’ he said.

She nodded. ‘Alright…’

‘Before your surgeries, you ate very little for a long time and so when you eat that soup, you will need to do so slowly so you don’t shock your stomach. I advise you to eat a spoonful, take a sip of water and then wait a while before you have any more. The soup is richer than the rations you had before and it’s hot too. These will be new experiences for you.’ He poured her some water and then passed it over. ‘Eat until you feel replenished, but do not get full. It might make you sick. Do you understand me, Kristen?’

‘Yes.’ She smiled at him. ‘I’ll do exactly what you say.’

Lore nodded. ‘Good. I’m glad you trust me,’

‘I have to trust you. You’re all I’ve got,’ she replied.

He leaned back in his chair, slouching somewhat. ‘That’s very true. We’re a team of two people, aren’t we? Do you know what teamwork is?’

‘Teamwork… it is a co-operative or co-ordinated effort on the part of a group of persons acting together in the interests of a common cause,’

‘Correct. You can eat now.’

Kristen did as she was told, following his instructions to the letter. She was controlled and didn’t make a mess or take too much in. Lore smiled to himself as he watched her every move. This was getting better and better all the time.

*

Kristen was given more time to rest when she’d eaten and then Lore sat down with her on a carved, mahogany chair at the rear of the lab. She shuffled up close to him and felt blessed when he rested an arm around her in a casual fashion. When she tried to put her head on his shoulder and burrow into his warmth, he stopped her by lifting her chin with the fingers of his free hand. 

‘There’s no time for that right now. Earlier on, I said to you that we needed to discuss something and we must do so right now,’ he reminded her.

She looked into his eyes. ‘Won’t you sing to me instead?’

‘No, not at this time.’

Sensing that Lore had something important to tell her, she considered him with patience she knew he’d approve of. ‘What do you wish to speak about?’

‘I have a test I want to run today and I’m going to commence that shortly, but before I do so I need you to understand that though I’ll have to leave the lab, it will not be for long and we’ll soon be reunited,’ he said, still holding her face to his so she couldn’t look away.

Fear squeezed at her heart. ‘I don’t want you to leave me here on my own,’ she whispered.

‘Do you trust me?’

She trusted him with all she was but that didn’t assuage the fear. ‘I love you,’ she said, ‘please don’t leave me. I don’t like to be alone…’

‘Do you trust me?’ Lore repeated.

Kristen nodded, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. ‘Yes, I do. You take care of me. You are my keeper. There is no-one else but you,’

‘Then put that trust in me now and believe me when I say that though I’m going to leave the lab, there will be only a small amount of time before we are together again.’

She inhaled a shaky breath and willed herself to make him proud by not being weak. All that mattered was being with Lore and making him happy. It was her raison d'être, her life’s purpose, the passion of all she was. 

‘Now, there’s no need to cry,’ he said, wiping away a tear that had escaped, ‘you must be strong and put your faith in me. You’ll see for yourself that everything is going to be fine.’ 

Kristen took another breath and then watched helplessly as he let go of her face and stood up from the chair they’d been sharing. He stopped her from getting up when she tried to and then he crouched down in front of her and took both of her hands. 

She gazed at him, hardly able to comprehend that he was going to leave her. He had said it wouldn’t be for long, but the horror inside her at being without him was terrible, just as it had been the night before when he’d insisted she sleep alone. Lore lifted one of her hands to his mouth and kissed her wrist. The affection was incredibly welcome and made her bite down on her underlip.

‘You will remain right where you are when I am gone,’ he told her, ‘and you will wait until a specific type of signal is alerted inside you. I’m not going to tell you anything more than that because I want this test to count for something. The efficacy of this test could be damaged if I thoroughly explain the ins and outs. I want to test the strength of that signal and monitor how it affects you and so as much as you trust me, I need to trust you too. I need to know that you’ll obey me and not run after me as soon as I leave.’

Kristen took all of that in. ‘What do I do when the signal alerts me?’

He smiled a little. ‘Whatever you feel compelled to do. You’ll know for sure when it happens,’ he replied.

Then he let go of her hands, stood up and crossed the lab. He walked passed the chalkboard and the anatomy posters and the three-dimensional android body cast. He ignored the endless bookshelves, models of sauropods and hadrosaurids, the Egyptian antiques and the columns of bright-coloured, bubbling liquids. Lore jogged up the steps that led to the double-doors and when he got there, he turned and their eyes connected.

‘Don’t go,’ she said.

‘I have to,’ he replied, ‘wait right there until the alert is triggered and then you’ll know what to do.’

Lore headed out of those doors then. There was no ceremony about it, he just turned and walked out as though it was the most natural thing in the world, as though this test he was so insistent on was normal or easy for her to bear. Kristen stared at the doorway, hoping this was some sort of joke and that he’d reappear. 

Lore didn’t. He truly had left her.

She remained where she was because that was what she’d been told to do and disobeying him was a crime she could never commit, but more tears slid down her cheeks and she trembled in his absence. Her internal chronometer instantly kicked in and she was made aware of the seconds and minutes that passed by as she was forced to exist in the lab without him. 

_Five minutes… fifteen minutes… thirty minutes… an hour…_

Kristen looked up at the ceiling. 

_My keeper has deserted me… now I have no-one… now I am alone here…_

Another hour went by and Kristen pulled her legs up, resting her chin on one of her knees. She wrapped her arms around herself, a futile act of self-comfort. All she could think of was Lore. His gaze that possessed her and owned her, his voice that sent ripples of either pleasure or shame through her soul-circuits, his steadying arms and careful touch. 

Oh, how she missed his handsome face and his sinner’s smile. She even missed that scent of him – somewhere between smoke and steel. He pleased all of her senses from the olfactory to the visual and much more in between. Kristen _needed_ Lore and this ‘test’ was starting to make her angry as well as lonesome.

‘Where are you?’ she whispered to herself, closing her eyes to force herself to stop staring at the open lab doors. ‘Where are you, Lore? I love you…’

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

Her head shot up then. She cocked her head and looked around in the way that a panther would when detecting the scent of fresh blood. Standing from her seat, she listened to these bleeping sounds calling her, not knowing if they were coming from within or if she was receiving them on an auditory level. It was confusing, maddening, weird. 

Kristen took a slow walk around the room. She paced around the Tyrannosaurus skull on one of the more central tables and then she did the same around the medi-bed. 

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

Stronger now and louder too. 

Kristen crossed the lab and then she ascended the steps that she’d watched Lore climb. She went to the doorway and there she tilted her head to the sky and was warmed by rays of late-afternoon sun. Outside, she turned to look left and then right and then left again. The bleeping was definitely internal and it was a voodoo rhythm inside her, a spell she could only be enticed by. 

‘Wait right there until the alert is triggered and then you’ll know what to do,’ Lore had said.

‘I know what to do now,’ she said, both to herself and to him, ‘I’m coming.’

She left Soong’s lab for the first time since she’d arrived at Terlina III then. She turned around to look at the exterior of her home and saw a squat grey building that tapered up at the second level. Five lights were embedded in a semi-circle there, the only break within the dull colour. It didn’t look like a lab from the outside and could have been any type of building. 

Kristen absorbed those details and then she moved away, treading through tall grasses, her bare feet hidden by the feathery green blades as she began her journey. She ignored the fresh grave sites that were dotted around the clearing and instead followed her instincts into the glade, into the ferns and the dense foliage that made up the lip of the jungle. 

Beyond that lip, hidden creatures chirruped and called, but she ignored them too as shadows crossed over her, luring her deeper still. 

The jungle opened its heart to her and Kristen picked up speed, breaking into a run. 

She tore at an inhuman pace through brushwood and bracken, she sloshed through muddy streams and leapt over the gnarled and twisted branches of fallen trees. On occasion, she would stop so she could listen to the bleep-bleeping and then use her inner compass to navigate her way through the jungle, and then she would dart off again – as elegant as a fallow deer and as hungry as predator who hadn’t tasted fresh meat for days.

‘I’m coming… I’ll find you, Lore…’

*

The closer Kristen got to where Lore was waiting, the more the invisible thread that connected them tightened. He was seventeen miles away from the lab and was crouching high up in a very old and very tall tree. From this vantage point, he was able to see a great deal and when she reached the zone of the jungle he was in, he would be able to trace her movements based on her body heat and the speed with which she zipped through the plant life and copses of trees and fern bushes. 

He was knelt in a way that would be impossible for a human to observe when in such a precarious position, mainly because they would not be able to maintain the same level of balance or observe his total inaction and stillness. He had one knee down and one slightly raised and his hands were held out in front of himself. The thumbnail of his left hand was peeled back and the forefinger of his right hand was pressing down on the inner circuitry so that he could call Kristen to him. 

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

After waiting for over an hour, wanting to put enough time and distance between them, he had manually activated the alert and since then Lore had been studious in his concentration. He wasn’t feeling all that complacent. This were very tense moments for him and so he didn’t smile or even blink as he waited to get a trace on her. 

It would be hard for Kristen to be injured but she might get lost or give in to her emotional frailties. He was worried for her and hoped that the test would prove what he needed it to prove. 

_Come on, Kristen… you can do this. I know you can. I can feel that you’re close but you’re still not close enough. Come to me, Kristen. Find me._

Lore waited for another half an hour and then, just when his worry was starting to deepen, he intuited that she was less than a mile away. She was moving incredibly fast and was honing in on his position with speed that got increasingly more impressive. When he first caught sight of her, she was a blur of pale flesh and long, dark hair that trailed behind her. She raced straight passed the tree he was hiding in and he opened his mouth, wanting to call to her vocally even though he knew it would only hinder the point of the test.

_Come on. You can do it._

Kristen pulled a sharp about-turn suddenly and then she slowed down as she came back to the right place. Her eyes were darting this way and that as she tried to figure out a solution and then, blessedly, she tilted her head up and rested her hands on the trunk of the tree.

Lore allowed himself a smile then. ‘That’s my girl,’ he said, to himself.

She made short work of climbing the tree, as though she’d been a child of the jungle since birth. She used the strength of her cybernetic limbs to aid her efficiency, her neural network grafts to work out the safest route and her human heart and willpower to get to her destination. As soon as she was on the same level of the tree that Lore was on, she found him with her gaze and he looked right back at her, more pleased with her performance than he could possibly convey. 

They stared at each other for a long moment.

‘I found you,’ she said, with the glee of a child who had just won a game of hide-and-seek.

‘You did,’ he agreed, switching off the alert and putting his thumbnail back in place, ‘come over here. Let me see if you’re okay.’

Kristen’s face and arms were streaked with dirt, her feet were caked in mud and her clothes had been torn in places by some of the thornier bushes, but she didn’t seem to care at all as she smiled at him and then began to walk across a nearby branch as though she was a skilled circus performer walking a trapeze. Finally, she reached the branch he was on and when she was by his side, she sat down next to him. She wasn’t injured at all. She was dirty, but perfectly safe and well.

Her scarlet eyes were filled with happiness and she bared her teeth in a brightsome grin. ‘Did I make you proud? Have I pleased you?’

Lore nodded his approval to her, lost in his feelings at that moment. He put his arms around her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head just near to one of the cognitive processers that flashed with bold blue lights above her right eye. 

Kristen held onto him as though her life depended on it, nuzzling her face against his, and then she ran her nose up the side of his throat and kissed him near his ear. She had been hellbent on her mission to find him and now they were together again, she looked so fulfilled that it touched his heart.

‘I found you, Lore,’ she said, peering up at him through her eyelashes and smiling shyly now.

‘You certainly did,’ he agreed, smiling.

‘But why did you do this?’ she asked.

‘We are connected at a deep, subliminal level and I wanted to test that,’ he replied.

‘When we are apart, you will call me and I will come to you,’ she said, understanding sinking in.

Lore brushed some dirt from her cheek. ‘That’s right,’

‘Does it work both ways? Can I call you to me?’

‘No, my sweet one, only I can activate the alert. That is how it’s meant to be,’ he replied.

‘Because you’re my keeper…’

‘Yes, because I’m your keeper… and you’re my perfect creation.’

Kristen tilted her head and her eyebrows raised slightly, her cheeks growing pink with a soft blush. She leaned into to nuzzle at the side of his throat again and though Lore allowed that for a moment or two, he soon pulled her back and stared down into her eyes again. Kristen sucked at her lower lip as she watched him and Lore realised how intense the moment had become. He’d expected to be pleased with her, should she have found him and passed the test, but he was far more than pleased. 

He felt intoxicated by what she’d become in his life.

Without any further hesitation, he leaned in and kissed her. Kristen gasped in surprise and so he wove a hand into her hair and held her closer. She closed her eyes then and opened her mouth to his, both giving and wanting of that affection.

They were still kissing when late-afternoon turned to dusk.


	22. Black Light

_Now you know how much my love for you burns deep in me. When I forget about our emptiness and deal with shadows as with solid things - Dante Alighieri_

Back at Soong’s lab, Lore told Kristen to go and wait for him in his Father’s rooms. She was slightly petulant but with just one sharp look he managed to motivate her into obedience and so she turned and wandered off into the rear area of the building. Lore watched her go and then he took a moment for himself, releasing a heavy sigh. 

During their journey back home through the jungle, which they went about at a human pace as they held hands like lovers, he’d found himself conflicted inside. Now he had time to think, he was more than conflicted. He was utterly confused.

_The whole point of my month’s work was to pull Kristen Harper’s mind to shreds, alter her to what she has become and then return her to Data so that he’d be destroyed and vengeance would be served white-hot instead of cold. But… now she’s become someone I don’t think I can let go of. I don’t care what happens to me, if Data finds me and dismantles me again, but what about Kristen? I can’t be without her._

_I’m her keeper. She belongs to me. She’s mine._

Angry with himself suddenly, angry with these stupid emotions, he strode across the lab and then flung himself down onto the same medi-bed he’d strapped her in during her surgeries. 

Allowing himself to feel anything more than hate or ambition was far from easy and nor was Lore used to bearing any kind of tenderness for anyone. He’d worried for his Father when he’d been told he was going to die soon but even then he’d still tapped into his inner darkness and turned on the man and killed him. Had he ever truly cared for anyone other than himself?

It was times like this when Lore wished that alcohol affected him. He’d witnessed the way that a few measures of Aldebaran whisky or a glass or two of firewine could totally relax and alter the moods of human beings. They would be stressed one moment and then cracking jokes the next, their eyes blurry with intoxication. But even if Doctor Soong had kept any alcohol in the lab, it was useless to Lore. Even the taste wouldn’t lift his mood. 

He would have to use focus and self-discipline to level out his stupid feelings instead, not that he had much hope of doing that. 

_I will not let myself fall in love with Kristen. I can be fond of her, which I have been for a while, and I can value her and treasure her uniqueness, but I cannot let myself be vulnerable enough to fall in love with her. If I do, then it will endanger us both. The most important factor here is getting back at Data. That’s been the plan since Ria put me back together and reactivated me._

_I’ve got to shake off these foolish notions and apply myself. I’m so close now to destroying Data and I can’t lose sight of that._

Still restless, Lore got off the medi-bed and then he strode over to one of the windows and bent over, resting on his palms. Frustration was racing around his internal sensors so fast that he almost felt off-balance with it. 

_You didn’t see this coming, did you? You didn’t think she’d be kind and forgiving, that she’d listen to you and want to get to know you for more than your reputation. You didn’t believe that she’d find her way into your head, under your skin, into your heart… and you certainly didn’t consider that when you wiped her memories and programmed her to need you that you’d feel like you were worth something for the first time. You never thought that anyone could make you feel this way._

Lore stared out at the jungle. It was quite blue out there at night due to the rising moonlight. He too was blue during these moments as he thought about every single thing he’d done over the past three and a half weeks. He’d killed four Starfleet officers and his ex-lover. They were buried in the ground now, decomposing. There was no guilt about those murders whatsoever but he did feel a tinge of melancholy as he realised that no matter what happened or who he tried to be for Kristen, he’d always be evil and dangerous.

He’d kidnapped her and he’d tortured her in so many ways. He’d even starved her and beaten her and operated on her without anaesthetic. She’d lost her mind well before he’d implanted nano-cortical fibres into her cerebrum, before he’d eradicated her memory cells and given her artificial nostalgias about things they’d shared that had literally never happened. 

Before he’d grafted the cognitive processers and the positronic nets to her brain, Kristen had been broken and bruised and pushed beyond the limits of sanity. She might have shown him kindness and support, but those efforts had come from a shattered soul.

What she was now… it wasn’t just her body that had been manipulated. Lore had engineered an entirely new lifeform. The love and hunger Kristen felt for him was programmed, not real. Little of her thought processes and behavioural engrams were inspired by genuine desires or needs. He had forced her to be dependent on him. He had crafted her to be his perfect match in every way. He had re-invented her to be more than just a tool of vengeance. 

What Kristen was now… well, she was his ideal partner. 

That had not always been the plan and Lore knew it. Originally, he had just wanted to break her and deform her and then send her back to the _Enterprise_ in the way that a terrorist would throw a Molotov cocktail through a government building window, but once she had opened up to him and he’d found himself doing the same to her, everything had changed. The plan had changed. She had ended up as his ‘dark angel’ instead of a tool of vengeance. 

Lore knew he’d always be cruel and callous and coldly mathematical with his outlook on humanity but Kristen mattered now and he no longer knew if he could exist without her presence.

The way she looked at him – with love and loyalty – was penetrating. She had a clean slate as a new being and as such, she’d never crossed him. She existed to serve him, to bring him pleasure, to want to be with him to extents that caused her distress when they were parted. Hell, when he and Ria had been parted she’d thrown herself at Data and even when she’d realised that Data wasn’t him, she’d still made a play for him. 

As so far, Kristen was the only person who had loved him and not rejected him or hurt him. It didn’t matter if her emotions were the result of programming of if she genuinely felt them. She was true and dedicated and passionate about their bond.

The way she touched him – with gentleness and need – was stirring and that ran deeper than surface emotions because of the physical spark that had ignited between them too. She kissed him as though he was giving life to her, giving her affection that she’d never known. Their first kiss had been a mistake because she’d been dreaming of his brother and though that kiss had torn Lore up inside with unwelcome but potent feelings, it had been today’s kisses that had truly spun him out. 

Those kisses had been sweet and soft and deep and…

‘You’re pathetic,’ he said to himself, to the night, ‘if you don’t wake up and control yourself, you’re going to destroy all this hard work. What will any of it count for? You know you can’t keep her. You’ve got to back off a little so you can let her go. If you can’t let her go back to Data, then he’ll never feel the pain you need him to feel. You’ll never get revenge.’

Trying hard to be determined and controlled, Lore righted himself and decided to go to her. The biggest test was being in her presence and not giving in to his longing for her. If he could resist her, then he’d know that he still had self-control. Striding through the shadows, he made his way to his Father’s bedroom and that was where he found her. 

Kristen had taken off the dirty, torn clothes she’d been wearing earlier and she was kneeling comfortably on a small sofa near the rear window. She wore only a black vest and matching underwear and her body was almost fully on show. Distracted though she was by the starlight outside and unknowing as she was to him standing there, she looked slightly perturbed and Lore knew why; she didn’t like it when he left her. 

He took in her beautiful shape, her comely face. Her hair that was half-shorn and streaked with white through shock was an unkempt wave over one slender shoulder and her huge, scarlet eyes were turned up to the heavens. Lore would have damned her for being so attractive on the outside as well as on the inside, if he hadn’t developed such a sentimentality for her. He gazed over the swell of her breasts, her long thighs, her upturned nose and full lips.

_You need to clean her up, feed her and then put her to bed. Today was a long day for her and the organic part of her will need rest and sustenance. No more hand-holding or kissing or touching. You’re her keeper, not her lover._

Kristen started when she saw him there and then she gave him a smile. ‘I hope you don’t mind but I had to take my top and my trousers off. The mud had dried on and it was annoying me,’

‘It’s fine,’ he said, in a controlled tone, ‘come with me now. You need a bath and some rations and then plenty of sleep.’

She got up immediately and came over to him. ‘Will you read to me before I have to sleep? Or will you sing to me?’

He shook his head and then grabbed her forearm with deliberate firmness, pulling her towards his Father’s personal bathroom. ‘No, there’s no time for those things,’ he said.

Kristen moved with him and then she rubbed her arm when he let it go. She stood there and watched him as he started to fill the bath with warm water, silent for now at least. Lore kept his back to her, not wanting to see the wounded look in her eyes. She just could not understand what he was processing, the feelings he was trying to ignore. It was for her own good, as much as his own. With fierce concentration, he grabbed some towels from a cupboard so he could dry her off when she was clean and then he made sure there was some soap and shampoo. 

‘You’re mad with me,’ she said, breaking the awkward silence in a careful tone.

Lore rolled his eyes. ‘Hardly. I’m simply getting on with what we need to do,’

‘Why are you using that tone with me?’

‘Because I’m in a bad mood,’

‘So you _are_ mad with me,’ she muttered.

Lore turned the bath taps off and then he turned around. ‘Undress and get in the bath, Kristen. It would do you well to learn not to push me when I’m in no mood for foolishness.’

Due to the fact she had no modesty program, Kristen peeled off her underwear immediately and then she stood there, indifferent to her nakedness. She didn’t try to hide her body or even seem to be aware of the fact that nudity was something that might distract him. Lore frowned at her, ensuring that he did not let his gaze drop down from her eyes, and then he reached for her and pulled her to the side of the bath. Without waiting for her to step into it, he lifted her instead and then he pushed her down into the warm water so she was sitting.

Kristen looked up at him. ‘Please stay with me,’ she said.

‘I’d rather not,’ he said.

_And you really don’t want to ask me why because this is pushing buttons I forgot I had._

‘Why?’ she asked, on cue.

Lore rolled his eyes again and then he shook his head at her. ‘Because I can’t be with you for every minute of every day and that is something you must adjust to. You can wash yourself and your hair and then you can call me back into the room and I’ll come and help you to dry off,’ he snapped.

Her eyes became liquid with tears then. ‘I don’t understand these reactions from you or the angry tone you’re using… you are always kind to me… what did I do to make you hate me?’

Unsettled by that question, Lore realised he really was being way too hard on her. Though he didn’t change his disposition, he did fetch a stool from the corner of the room. When it was placed by the bath, he sat down on it and then he gave her a look that bestowed a little more calmness than before. ‘I don’t hate you, you silly girl. I’ll stay with you but I want you to get washed quickly now so that I can get you dressed again. Don’t mess about. Take the soap and get that dirt off your body.’

Kristen seemed slightly appeased by the fact he’d chosen to stay but she was still uncertain of him and of his mood as she obeyed him and picked up the soap. She rubbed the bar between her hands and then she started to rub the lather over her arms and breasts. There was absolutely nothing salacious about what she was doing and Lore was glad for that because being with her when she was undressed, wet and soapy really was becoming a most irritating distraction. It was far from Kristen’s fault but he couldn’t help the frustration. 

In a way, he was wishing he’d never brought her here at all, given the chaos she was bringing to his head and heart, but Lore also knew that even if he had the chance to go back in time and reverse this whole business, he wouldn’t. 

_I never felt this much for Ria. Not ever._

He stared into space as she rinsed the soap from her body and then he continued to ignore her as she laid back in the tub to wet her hair. That done, she rubbed shampoo into it. ‘Am I waterproof?’ she asked, in an oddly unconcerned tone.

‘If you were not waterproof, do you think I would have put you in water?’

‘I guess not.’

She rinsed the shampoo off and then she sat in the dirty water and stared down at her toes for a long time. Lore stole a quick glance at her and the troubled look on her face hurt his heart.

‘Will you sing to me, please?’ she asked.

‘Not right now, Kristen.’

With a shrug, she sighed and then she looked up at him. ‘Shall I sing for you instead?’

Lore frowned at her and then he relented. ‘Alright, if you must. Go ahead.’

‘ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

 _The other night dear, as I lay sleepin'  
I dreamed, I held you in my arms  
When I awoke dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried…_’

Lore’s frown dissipated as he listened to Kristen singing those soulful words. He’d never had anyone sing to him before and the song was so heart-rending, it made him feel worse than ever. 

Kristen continued to look up at him and he knew she meant everything she was singing. He wasn’t sure if she’d managed to remember this song and if he’d need to do more work on erasing her memories. He wasn’t sure where she knew it from at all. Was it was just one of a great many bits of information he’d exchanged from his mind to hers? 

Then those wonderings he was experiencing seemed to fade out because he realised that she was clearly feeling a lot and trying to transmit a lot to him too. He couldn’t look away from her eyes or play dumb to the poignancy of the moment. 

‘ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

_You told me once dear, you really loved me  
And no one else could come between us  
But now you've left me and you love another  
And you have shattered all my dreams_

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away…_’

Kristen stopped singing then. She blinked back some tears and then she sniffled and started to wash the dirt from her face. She had no idea that she’d touched him so irrevocably, such was the extent of her innocence. She’d been feeling a lot but she had no clue that those feelings had reached him and sunk into his heart.

Lore tried to temper himself by taking a steadying breath and running the tip of his tongue over the backs of his teeth, but it wasn’t enough. He stood up from the stool, moved it out of the way and then he bent to put his hands to her arms and lift her to her feet. She made a gasp of surprise and he caught a look of confusion on her face as he then dragged her out of the bath altogether. 

Dripping with bathwater and trembling with uncertainty, Kristen shifted from one foot to the other. Lore shook his head at his own weakness and then he gave in to what they both needed at that time and he drew her close, embracing her tightly. Her little hands clutched at the back of his top and she continued to shiver for a while. He kissed the side of her face a few times and then he closed his eyes.

‘Did you like that song?’ she asked, muffled by his closeness.

‘I liked it a lot,’ he told her.

She quietened then and Lore was glad because he was struggling with his composure. He did not cry, had never cried even once in his long and sorry existence, but hearing her fragile voice sing those heartfelt words had hit him hard. He stood there for a long time, unable to let go of her for countless unfathomable reasons, and only realised that he was puzzling her even further when she told him she was getting cold.

‘Of course,’ he said, slowly releasing her from his arms, ‘time for you to get dry,’

‘Thank you,’ she replied.

Lore kept his gaze averted from her nakedness as he helped her get dry. She was wrapped in one of the larger towels after that and he was utterly relieved to get her out of the bathroom and back into the main area of the lab. He replicated her some clothes – identical to the grey pants and cropped top she’d been wearing before – and then ordered her to get into them whilst he replicated some food and fruit juice for her.

_I used to be a villain and now I’m a fucking nursemaid._

_Worse still, I think I like it._

*

Ravenous after a long, energetic and interesting day, Kristen managed to eat almost everything that was placed before her but she was careful not to rush or overload her stomach. She took sips of water between every bite and kept her eye on her mercurial keeper, desperate not to disappoint him with anything she did or said. Not that she was speaking much whilst she was replenishing herself. He’d already told her not to talk with her mouth full and as she was very hungry indeed it was full far more than it was empty. 

She chewed and swallowed quietly as she came to the end of her meal and then she wondered how she should let him know she was done without being rude or interrupting what he was studying. Lore was flipping through one of his creator’s books on cybernetics as he sat at the opposite side of the table, distracted for the time being. She knew he could read at a superhuman pace for she could do the same but he seemed to be content with flipping a page every few minutes or so instead.

Lore’s behaviour that day remained to be confusing for Kristen. He’d been kind to her throughout much of the day, especially when kissing her for such a long time when they were still out in the jungle, but since bringing her home he’d been cold to her and then, when she hadn’t expected it at all, he’d turned kind again. 

The fact that Lore was sometimes displeased with her was frightening. Kristen knew he wouldn’t hurt her because she trusted him completely but the notion of him not approving of her made her wonder if there was a chance he might push her away completely someday. 

She watched him turn another page and wondered where his mood was at that moment. He wasn’t smiling but he wasn’t frowning either. Was he bored? Or was he as engrossed in his book as he seemed to be? 

Her mind began to flicker through possibilities, each of them connected to the purpose of her existence. Kristen lived to obey everything Lore told her to do, when he told her to do it, but she was also supposed to keep him happy. She was supposed to make sure he had everything he needed and that he was content. That he’d been brusque towards her earlier on made her feel that she’d failed, in part at least. He’d been affectionate in the bathroom once she’d sung him a song but since they’d settled in here, his mood had been less easy to interpret.

_What should I do? Should I sing another song? No, that doesn’t feel right. Maybe I should try to converse with him on matters he finds intriguing. No… I’m too shy. I’ll say the wrong thing and I don’t want him to think I’m stupid._

_Perhaps I should play a game with him. What kind of games does Lore like to play?_

She put her spoon down on the table and then she used the silent bond between them to let him know she was done eating. It was better to reach him that way than to interrupt his reading verbally and though Kristen was still getting used to their subliminal connection she definitely enjoyed the possibilities it presented. Especially when it meant she might evade getting into trouble.

Lore looked up from his book, one pale eyebrow raised. ‘You’re done now?’ he asked.

She nodded and smiled. ‘Yes. I’m done. Thank you,’ she replied.

He closed the book and placed it on the table top. Kristen watched as he stood and then started to clear away the empty crockery and used cutlery, taking it back over to the replicator. 

_What kind of entertainment can I provide him? How do I make him smile? How do I make him laugh? I want to make him happy._

Lore finished with his tasks and then he sat down again and picked up a different book from a small pile he’d fetched earlier from Doctor Soong’s many shelves. This one was about cybernetics too but was more focused on phase discriminators. ‘It’s time for you to go to bed now, Kristen. If you head through now I’ll follow you in a few minutes to make sure you’re powered down properly,’ he said, shooting her a glance.

Kristen stood up from her chair and then she tucked it under the table. Then she leaned on the back of it with her arms folded and started to smile at him.

_If I smile first, he might smile back at me…_

He read a page or more and then he turned his head and raised both eyebrows this time. ‘Off you go,’ he said, ‘I’ll follow you shortly.’ 

No smile yet. With playfulness, she rocked the chair back onto its rear legs and then she set it down again, knowing that defying an order wasn’t entirely wise but also desperate to ignite some lightheartedness between them. Then, when he didn’t react to her reluctance to go to bed or say anything at all, she moved to the side of the table and sat down on the edge of it. She was almost within his reach but not quite. That much was entirely on purpose.

Lore put his book down. ‘You look very tired,’ he said.

‘I don’t feel very tired,’ she replied.

‘Still, it’s late and I’ve got plans for us that I must decide upon tonight. I can’t do that whilst you’re loitering around in here. Please, go on to bed and wait for me in there,’ he said.

Kristen tilted her head and gave him a cheeky smile. ‘I’ll stay and keep you company…’

‘No, you’ll do as you’re told,’

‘I’ll be very quiet and I won’t get in the way…’

‘No. Kristen, go to bed right now.’

His tone wasn’t firm though, it was warm and somewhat intrigued. Kristen didn’t move from the table until he slowly stood from his chair and at that she hopped down and went to where she’d been standing before. He moved towards her and she circled the table at the same time and with the same pace, standing at the other side. 

Lore frowned a little and tried to pursue her once more but Kristen was as fast as he was and so she quickly evaded him. They considered one another for a moment and then switched places again. He was definitely trying to catch her for he’d even reached out this time but Kristen was alert and spirited too and had managed to dodge his grasping fingers.

‘What is this about?’ he asked, ‘are you trying to put me in another bad mood?’

She shook her head and smiled at him. ‘I’m trying to play a game with you.’

Lore put his hands on his hips and sighed. ‘This really isn’t the time for mischief, Kristen. I would prefer it if you’d come to me. Right now.’ He lifted his left hand and beckoned to her. ‘Get over here. Come on.’

Kristen backed away from the table, shaking her head very slowly, until she was near the bookshelves. He watched her with a note of disbelief but as soon as he strode her way, she jumped onto the bottom rung of the ladder that Soong had designed to move across the shelves of its own volition and was spirited even further across the room. That much made her want to giggle because the sharp movement from left to right was a little faster than she’d expected and had given her a jolt of adrenaline. 

With another sigh but a slight smile that he was clearly trying to suppress, Lore pinned her with a look. ‘This really is tiresome,’ he said.

She didn’t entirely believe that he meant that. When he came for her, she hopped off the ladder and then she backed away, trailing her hand across the wall-mounted chalkboard as she did so. She wiped off equations as she retreated to the further, more shadowed recesses of the lab and though she saw his expression ripple somewhat when he realised what she’d done, she still felt that this playfulness was a good idea.

_Please smile at me. I know you want to. Please smile, Lore._

‘If I have to come over there and get you, you won’t like it,’ he warned.

‘You’d have to catch me before you could inflict any sort of punishment,’ she shot back.

‘You want me to chase you?’

‘Yes, that’s what I want. It’s a game,’

‘A game?’

‘Yes. A competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance on the part of two or more persons who play according to a set of rules, usually for their own amusement,’

‘I see…’

‘I’m trying to entertain you. I want to make you happy.’

At that, Lore slowed to a stop and he gave her a genuine smile of true amusement. It even touched his eyes and when one of his brows quirked and his faint laughter lines showed, she felt herself so uplifted by that charming expression that it was like her heart had lit up with the delight of success.

_I am worth keeping. I am a good pet._

He took a few steps towards her and Kristen stepped backwards until she standing was up on a sofa. He took a few more steps and she jumped down from the sofa and raced around to the other side of the room. 

‘C’mere,’ he said.

‘No!’

On for the chase by then, Lore tore around the room after her and when she realised he wasn’t pretending to be annoyed by her any longer and was engaged in this silliness, she let out a joyful shriek of enjoyment and then came to a skidding halt. 

Lore did not slow down. Instead, he came straight for her and grabbed hold of her waist. She looked up at him and laughed with delight as he lowered his head, looked into her eyes and too started to laugh. He started walking her backwards then and she moved with him, not sure at this stage that she understood exactly what she’d put in motion but knowing for sure that she was high on the electricity they seemed to generate and that she was at her happiest when they were up-close like this.

They kept moving and moving until they were back where they’d started and at that, he pushed the pile of cybernetics books out of the way, lifted her up and sat her on the table. Curious now, Kristen tilted her head. Lore’s eyes raked over her and she saw something sparking in them then that was entirely new. It was similar to the look he’d worn when they’d been kissing earlier that afternoon but it was also more. It was intense, scrutinising and there seemed to be fiery heat there too.

His mouth sought hers in a gentle kiss and she held onto his shoulders. Gentleness built and then became slightly rough as his tongue entered her mouth. One of his hands shoved her legs apart and then he was standing between them.

_Sexual subroutines accessed… processing… processing…_

Kristen tried to keep up with his kisses but as her mind was filled with all there was to know about sexuality, foreplay, intercourse and pleasuring, she started to feel overwhelmed. 

Kissing was just the beginning apparently ( _foreplay : stimulation of one's partner, usually as a prelude to sexual intercourse. Foreplay stimulates both partners' sexuality, lowers inhibitions and increases emotional intimacy between two people, and implies a certain level of confidence and trust between them_ ) and if she was to satisfy her keeper to this thorough degree then she would surely need time to consider the data that was flooding her processors. 

Still, despite all of this internal chaos and yearning and all of this new and enticing information, she could not pull away from Lore. Instead of breaking the sensual clashing of their mouths, she pulled him closer so that he was pressing her down on the table and at that he moaned into her mouth. Kristen ran her hands into his hair and then she arched her body beneath his.

_Yes… yes… I want this. Please teach me about sexuality. I want to experience it all…_

Lore grabbed her hands suddenly, pulling them from his hair and then he held them down by her sides and broke their hungry kiss. It was impossible for him to be out of breath, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t flustered or dishevelled. His citrine eyes glared down into hers and though she reached up and tried to capture another kiss, he resisted her and pulled back even more. He stood over her then and his expression became tense, his brows knitted and his mouth slanted with frustration.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, reaching for him.

He pushed her hand away. ‘This is _not_ happening,’ he said, ‘definitely not. This is too far. This is not the sort of behaviour that beings like us are meant to-’

‘But why not? You created me to please you. I do what you want and I do it when you want me to do it. If you want to have sex with me, than I have to do it. I am fully functional, Lore. You made me that way,’ she cut in.

He shook his head. ‘Actually, I didn’t. That particular subroutine has passed to you from the times I linked my positronic brain with your implants via an interface cable. I didn’t program you… I shouldn’t have done… this is wrong. This is wrong.’

Confused, she sat up. Lore was the one to back away from her this time. ‘I’m anatomically correct for sexual intercourse. I know multiple techniques of pleasuring…’ she said.

‘Don’t talk like that,’ he snapped, ‘I mean it, Kristen. Don’t give me that “fully functional and anatomically correct” speech, I can’t bear to hear it,’

‘Why?’ She was getting alarmed now. 

‘I know it too well. Kristen, this ends now. I want you to get out of this room immediately and go to bed,’ Lore said, his tone even angrier.

Scared, not of him but of his rejection, she got up off the table immediately. She was crying before she could stop the tears from falling. ‘Please come with me,’ she said.

‘I can’t. If I come with you, I’ll do things to you that I shouldn’t,’ he said, teeth gritted.

‘I want you to show me these things. I have never had sex before. I want to know what it feels like,’ she replied, confused and yet wanting and lost.

Lore glared at her with such ferocity that it chilled her. ‘ _Go to your room right now! Get out of my sight!_ ’ he yelled at her.

She shook with fear and then she backed away. He looked terrifying when he was this mad. Kristen realised she shouldn’t have played games with him. He was too unstable in his emotions and too fierce in the turn of his moods. She gave him one last look of desperation and then she turned and ran out of the lab. 

As soon as she was in Doctor Soong’s bedroom, she climbed onto the bed and then drew her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs, sobbing from the pit of her heart.

_He hates me now. I’ve ruined everything. I can’t do anything right._

*

Enraged, Lore waited until Kristen had run away from him and then he started to destroy things as he stormed around the lab. He wrenched anatomy posters down from the walls, shattered neon liquid lamps, pushed the Tyrannosaurus skull off the table so that it shattered on the floor, threw ornaments and antiques at the walls, ripped books apart and then, finally, punched a hole through his Father’s chalkboard with his fist.

Those violent acts didn’t help his vexation at all and when he sank down on a chair and put his head in his hands, he found himself shaking in a way he didn’t know how to handle. 

He cursed Doctor Soong for giving him his emotion chip and for making him so human. His feelings had never been anything but trouble and had never brought him anything but bad luck, mistrust from others and a life sentence of disappointment. He couldn’t even switch the chip off or remove it for it was fused deeply within his neural nets and had been ever since his ill-fated days on Omicron Theta.

As he stared down at the floor, dusty with broken artefacts and also swirled with pink and orange goo from the lamps he’d smashed, Lore longed for some resolution to all this madness. He knew by then that he wouldn’t be returning Kristen to the _Enterprise_. She might have made him overwrought with her innocent love and unassuming sweetness but he wasn’t truly angry with her at all. He was angry with himself for making himself vulnerable to someone. For allowing someone into his heart to the extent of where his lust for chaos was being replaced by a desire to love and be loved instead.

 _I’m still evil,_ he thought to himself, _even Kristen couldn’t change that I’m a hustler and a sadistic, sociopathic murderer and that I’d do pretty much anything for self-gain, but… she’s inside me now and I can’t change that any more than I can reverse what she’s become. We’ve both changed. She is an entirely new being and myself? I might be evil and selfish, but I also know for sure that I won’t be sending her home because I can’t live without her._

_I’m going to get us out of here. We’ll go on the run. The four weeks I arranged for this are almost over and when Data realises Kristen never went to earth and that the child psychology conferences never happened, he’s going to come looking for her and he’ll have Picard, Riker, LaForge and the rest of Starfleet right behind him._

_I’ll give Kristen and I tonight and then tomorrow we’re going to get off this planet and we’re going to start a new life together, somewhere else. I’ll hide her. I’ll hide us both._

Having finally made that decision and feeling absolutely certain it was what he wanted and what was also best for Kristen, Lore lifted his head from his hands and got up. He strode through the debris that covered the floor and when he jogged up to the doors of the lab, they opened and he headed outside. 

Calmer now, he walked around to the rear part of the lab and when he got there, he cast his gaze over the large shuttlecraft that his Father kept there. It was nestled in the trees and had been there for so long, even Lore wasn’t entirely sure. Soong had never liked to be anywhere without some route of escape and even when he’d come to Terlina III, knowing he’d live his last days there, he’d made sure he had a small craft, just in case.

Lore opened the door and then he checked that the controls were working. There was a replicator and a small sleeping area and some storage room. All was as it should be. He relaxed into his decision then and the shaking stopped, as did the desire he felt to wreak destruction in the lab by breaking even more of his Father’s personal items and work tools. He spent another hour or so testing thrusters and warp capability, limited though it was, and then he exited the runabout and locked it. 

He had a sense of purpose now. Lore knew what he wanted and wasn’t going to question himself anymore. His mind was made up and so there was no point in driving himself mad with self-hate and doubt and other madness. As he re-entered the lab, he decided that he should clean up some of the mess he’d made and so that was what he did. It took a while, but Lore felt better when the room looked almost as it had before his rampage.

He threw away the last of the broken glass and shredded parchment and when he was done getting the goo off the floor and had piled the pieces of the broken dinosaur skull back onto a table, he knew that he needed to go to Kristen. Not to apologise, that was something he was incapable of doing without sarcasm, but to see if she was alright. Lore knew he’d scared her and he wanted to see for himself if she was still crying or if she’d managed to fall asleep.

Crossing the room, he went through to the rear part of the building and then he entered Doctor Soong’s bedroom. Kristen was still very much awake and caught in grief and pain. She was back on the sofa near the window and was sobbing like a child who’d been slapped for some minor transgression. 

A flash of guilt merged into the responsibility he felt for her and so he had to remain in the doorway for a while as he figured out what he should say. 

_I’ll never tell you I love you… even I can’t be that vulnerable… but I do love you, Kristen. I love you with all that I am._

She noticed he was there eventually and when she did, she blinked those huge red eyes at him and he felt a deeper stab of guilt inside when her chin wobbled and more tears leaked down her face.

With a sigh, he went over to her and then he sat down slowly by her side. ‘I regret shouting at you,’ he said, the closest to a genuine apology he could manage.

Kristen sniffled. ‘I didn’t mean to make you mad. I really didn’t. I thought that you wanted me so I was trying to… I was just trying to…’ And then she sobbed again.

Lore reached for her, pulling her into his arms. Kristen was unsure at first, such was the extent of her confusion, and so he held her head to his chest and let her cry until her tears had ceased and she was hiccupping and shivering. 

_Fragile… sweet… mine. All mine._

‘You don’t want me anymore,’ she whispered, when even the hiccupping had stopped. 

Lore frowned and then he gently held her back from himself so he could connect his gaze with hers. ‘That’s not true,’ he told her, ‘I want you very much. I’m your keeper. That will never change,’

‘You rejected me,’

‘I was…’ He rolled his eyes at himself, at the things he’d said. ‘I had no issue with you really, I was just confused and I took it out on you. There is no part of you I don’t want. I will not reject you again, Kristen. I care a great deal for you.’

She tilted her head slightly and then she shuffled closer to him again, resting her hands on his upper chest. Her touches felt like blessings after the disharmony he’d caused, even though she remained cautious and mindful. Lore really hadn’t intended on hurting her, it was more that his feelings had overwhelmed him. Her kisses, the way her body had felt beneath his as he’d pressed her down on that table, her scent and taste, all of it had driven him beyond the brink. 

Kristen licked her lips and then she brought her face closer to his and nuzzled him. ‘I love you,’ she whispered.

He moved his hand to her cheek and rested his forehead to hers. ‘I doubt I deserve that much.’

She gave him a small kiss, a nervous one. ‘Why would you not deserve that?’ she asked, before giving him another one of those kisses.

‘It doesn’t matter. Listen, I need to talk to you about something important.’

She nodded. ‘Okay…’

‘I’ve decided that we’re going to spend one last night here at the lab and then we’re going to get out of here,’ he told her.

‘Oh.’ She smiled a little. ‘Where are we going? Are we going on a holiday?’

‘Well… kind of. I have no specific destination planned as of yet, but we are definitely leaving Terlina III and when we do so, I’m going to need you to follow every instruction I give you to the letter. I’ll need you to listen to me carefully and be as obedient as you can manage,’

‘I understand. I’ll go anywhere with you. I’ll behave impeccably.’

‘That’s my girl. Do you trust me?’

‘Yes. Completely.’

Lore watched her for a moment, feeling so much more self-assured now that he’d processed the more violent of his feelings and calmed himself enough to be able to be with her again. He might not have internal sensors that made him feel alerted when they were apart but that didn’t mean that he didn’t long for her or miss her face on an emotional level. He rubbed his thumb over her cheek and then her lower lip. Kristen kissed his thumb and then she opened her mouth and licked it too. 

That made him raise his eyebrows. She smiled a little again and then licked his thumb once more. Lore wanted to return that smile but he couldn’t. He was far too moved.

_Why am I not thinking of how much this would hurt Data? That’s what I should be thinking but at this point, I really don’t give a damn._

‘Who is Data?’ she asked, her tone innocent and her eyes curious.

‘Did I say those words out loud?’ Lore asked, amazed at his own carelessness.

‘Yes…’

‘Forget what I said. Forget that name, alright?’

‘Yes… I’ll do anything you say. You’re my keeper. I love you.’

Kristen then took his hand from her cheek and kissed his other fingers, slow and careful and loving. Lore watched all of this in a mesmerised state, his yellowy eyes drinking her in as she showed him such sweet affection. He knew she was accessing certain degrees of her programming again for this kind of attentiveness was giving and sensual rather than needy. Despite her innocence, she was tapping into what little her sexual subroutines had taught her about seduction and this time, it was working. There was no way he was going to reject her now.

When she kissed his forefinger a second time and then slid it between her lips to suck on it, Lore had to stop himself from inhaling a deep breath. Kristen stared at him as she sucked that finger, a certain invitation glimmering in the scarlet hue of her beautiful eyes. She swirled her tongue around the pad of his finger and then gently bit down on it.

Lore couldn’t take any more. He extracted his finger from her mouth and then he stood up and briskly took hold of her. She tried to pepper him with questions but he kissed her hard to silence her and then he lowered her down onto the bed. Her hands reached for him and then he was edging her into the centre of the covers and kneeling between her open legs. 

Kristen was smiling and desire was even more obvious in her gaze now. ‘I will please you now,’ she said, her voice quiet but purposeful, ‘I want to please you…’

‘Don’t start up with that “fully functional” crap again,’ he warned her, as his hands met the fastenings of her trousers and started to pop them open one at a time.

‘I won’t. I learn quickly and I know you don’t like it when I say those things. I won’t outline to you the ways I can make you feel good. Will you show me what you like instead? Will you teach me how to have sex?’

_Be careful what you wish for, innocent one._

‘Please?’ she pressed.

Lore pulled her trousers off and then he sat her up so he could free her of her top too. She shook her hair out when he was done and gazed up at him, still waiting for answers to her questions. Her hands met his forearms and she held him there, all long eyelashes and sultry lips. Deciding to answer her questions subliminally and physically instead of with a shallow verbal response, he lay her down again and covered her body with his. Biting kisses to her throat made her whimper and when those kisses moved down and down over her breasts and stomach, she began to make the sweetest keening noise Lore had ever heard.

_I can’t tell you I love you, Kristen. But I can certainly show you how I feel._

She fell silent when he reached her hips. Lore used a hand to hold her still as his mouth pressed kisses to those hips and then to her upper thighs. Kristen was trembling a little but he knew it was through anticipation rather than nervousness or discomfort. He watched her eyes as he put his other hand to her sex and stroked her there. Another sound from – a quiet gasp. He repeated the action and when her mouth contorted with an aroused smile, he slid his index and forefinger inside her, slowly so, and mirrored her smile when she gasped a second time. Lore let her get used to the sensation and then he started to kiss her inner thighs again. This sort of thing should never be rushed, he felt. Any and all sex he would have with Kristen from now on would never be rushed. He would always take his time with her.

Eventually, the kissing of her thighs moved to her sex and then he was gently licking her clitoris and moving his fingers inside her at the same time. Kristen mumbled to herself, strained words that expressed how she’d never felt anything so acutely pleasurable. Heat was mounting in her already and so he continued to lick her slowly for as long as she could bear and then he sucked her clitoris instead. Kristen’s head fell back and she moaned – loud. Lore knew she was going to climax. He carefully increased the suction pressure, moving his fingers just a little faster, and that was all it took. She whimpered, shook and then cried out how much she loved, adored and needed her keeper. 

The whimpering returned as she coasted and then Lore slowly extracted his fingers from inside her. He couldn’t help but lick them clean as he sat up and then looked to her. She was panting, smiling, undone.

‘More,’ she said, ‘I want more. Teach me more. Teach me everything.’

Lore laughed. ‘You’re going to be hard to satisfy,’ he said.

Kristen bit her lip. ‘More?’

‘Alright. Let’s see what else I can show you…’

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Thank you for the feedback you guys have been sending. All of it is encouraged and appreciated! Wishing everyone a very merry Christmas. I'll post again when the holidays are over! xx


	23. Clues

In her quarters on the _USS Titan_ , Counselor Troi went straight to the replicator and got herself a cup of hot chocolate. 

She’d had a day that was filled with appointments and then, just when she’d thought she might get a little time to herself to catch up with some psychological reviews of crew members she was still getting to know, she’d had two emergency appointments that had run into over-time. Now she was back, all she wanted to do was relax for an hour or so and maybe catch up on some personal correspondence. Her Mother had been trying to reach her for days and that much definitely needed her attention, annoying as though that would likely prove to be.

She would be expected on the bridge later and would likely be called upon by Captain Riker at some point for counsel. That much meant that she wouldn’t be able to get a bath or allow herself to fall asleep. Still, it was nice being able to relax for a while after a hectic day. 

Sipping her drink, Troi used her Empathic senses to scan throughout the crew and passengers of the _Titan_ , checking on their emotional wellbeing. Morale was moderate and that was hardly surprising, given their position in the Delta Quadrant. They were monitoring some unusual activity between traders and the mission was ongoing.

Turning to put her cup down on a nearby table, Troi brushed her fingers through her hair, dark eyes narrowed in thought. Something else was ticking over in the back of her mind; something that had been shelved because of the mission that was currently unfolding. 

She stood to get her hairbrush from the glass shelf on the wall of the sleeping area, beginning to use it at once as her thoughts expanded. During a recent private and mostly casual conversation with Captain Picard a couple of days earlier, he had mentioned that his current Counselor, along with other members of his psychology staff, had gone to earth in order to attend a month of child psychology conferences.

Being a prominent expert in her field within Starfleet, Troi was absolutely certain that she would have known if such assemblies were taking place. She’d been to those types of events many times and knew the officers who arranged and presented them. She’d even presented a few herself.

She had studied with many of those people at the Academy and had met others several times at seminars or refresher courses. A series of conferences that covered the same subject matter Picard had mentioned had taken place just two months previously, back on earth. Lieutenant Harper would surely have been invited to that and yet Troi didn’t remember seeing her there. She had thought at the time that the young Lieutenant must have been too busy to attend.

Suspicion rising, she put the hairbrush down and went over to the console in the corner of the room, opening it immediately. A few messages requested her attention, especially those from her Mother, but she ignored them, asking the computer to show her all recent Starfleet-organised psychology conferences. A list of stardates and locations came up immediately and she scanned her eyes over them, looking for the most recent. 

It was as she suspected; the ones she had attended on earth eight weeks ago. They had been supervised by Commander T’Por of the _USS Reason_ , a Vulcan Counselor that Troi had known for a few years.

Wondering if T’Por might know why Harper and her fellow psychologists had been asked to go to earth at a time when they had literally no reason to be there, she prepared to send a message, hoping that her colleague would get back to her as soon as possible. Explaining things briefly, she sent a request that sounded inquisitive, but not concerned. 

She knew she had to bear in mind that although her gut feeling was telling her that something wasn’t right, she could always be incorrect. Being in the Delta Quadrant always had her feeling rather tense. It could be as simple as someone back at Starfleet Command not keeping the conference logs updated. Maybe there had been another series of assemblies after all and it had simply been a mistake that she hadn’t known about.

Message sent, she stood for a while and looked down at the screen.

Commander Data had seemed pensive the last time they’d exchanged messages. Though he controlled his human feelings well these days, carrying himself with his unique android stoicism, she had sensed that he was worried. He hadn’t wanted to talk about it beyond mentioning concern that Harper wouldn’t exchange video-link messages with him and so Troi hadn’t pressed him. 

Now, she told herself, she could understand why he’d been so quiet and withdrawn. Not only was he missing Harper madly, but he had also started to sense that something was amiss. He was a First Officer now and as such, was responsible for keeping a brave and yet calm face when on duty, but in his off-duty time he was definitely concerned. His fiancée had been gone for weeks and though he’d had written messages from her, that was it. 

Troi knew it wasn’t like Kristen Harper to hold back with Data, not now they were engaged especially, and so had to face the fact that it was definitely weird behaviour.

_Curiouser and curiouser._

Troi was just about to return to her hot chocolate, mind teeming with thoughts, when the communication channel on her console beeped. She accepted the request immediately and sat down to receive it. 

Commander T’Por sat looking at her with her usual composure. ‘Good evening, Counselor Troi. It is good to see you again,’ she greeted.

‘Hello T’Por, it’s good to see you too. How are you?’

‘I am well, thank you. I have just read your message about the conferences on earth. I too was unaware of them.’

Troi nodded. She had expected as much. ‘Yes, I thought you might say that. Have you any idea why members of Captain Picard’s crew would have been requested to return to the Academy for no good reason?’

‘Hmm…’ T’Por said, her eyes dropping in thought. She remained like that for a moment and then looked up again. ‘No. I have no idea. Have you asked Captain Picard?’

‘No, not as of yet,’ Troi replied.

‘Upon reading your message, I asked the computer to search for all recent child psychology assemblies that have been held at the Academy and the only ones I am aware of are the ones you attended two months ago. I also contacted the Academy directly and they have confirmed that none of the officers you mentioned are there or anywhere else on earth, as far as they can tell.’

Troi gave the Commander a tight smile. ‘I thought you might check it out before replying to me. You’re as thorough as always,’ she said.

‘Of course,’ T’Por replied, with typical Vulcan coolness.

‘Thank you for your help with this,’

‘You’re welcome. May I ask if everything is alright?’

‘It should be,’ Troi replied, ‘but I may have to get back to you on that one.’

Ten minutes later, once she had said farewell to her contemporary, she left her personal quarters and headed for the turbolift and asked it to take her to the bridge. Before bothering Captain Picard with the fact that some of his crew had gone missing, she decided she should speak to Captain Riker. 

She would not keep either Picard or Data uninformed for long. All she wanted to do currently was speak to someone level-headed, someone intelligent and someone who would feel just as she did about the disappearance of Harper and the others. Will was the closest person to her in her life and he cared like she did about the crew of their previous posting. He was the only person she could turn to. The only one who would understand what her suspicions had led her to uncover.

On the bridge, she moved over to where he was sitting and then she whispered in his ear that she needed to speak to him urgently in his ready room. Riker stood up, tugged his uniform tunic down and then he immediately followed her to their destination. Sitting down behind his desk, he gave her a look of deep concern. 

‘We’ve got a problem on our hands and it’s got nothing to do with rogue traders,’ she told him.

‘Alright. What’s on your mind?’

She took a breath and then exhaled it.

‘Imzadi,’ he said, the seriousness of his look increasing, ‘you look like something has shaken you up. Are you alright?’

‘I’m okay but I can’t say the same for certain members of the crew of the _Enterprise_ ,’ she replied.

Riker turned to look at his console. ‘I’ve spoken to Jean-Luc recently and he didn’t mention anything was wrong. Did I miss something?’

‘Did he tell you about Harper, Yates, Jijesh, Sarrott and Jones going to earth for a month of conferences?’

‘Yes, he did,’ he confirmed, looking to her again, ‘he said it was odd not having any psychology staff around but that they’d be home soon. In fact, shouldn’t the _Enterprise_ be picking them up today or tomorrow?’

Troi sighed. ‘The only recent conferences on child psychology took place eight weeks ago, Will. I have no idea where Harper and the others are, but they’re not on earth. I suggest we find out where exactly the _Enterprise_ is and we go to liaise with them immediately so we can figure this out,’

‘What about our current mission?’ he asked.

‘This is more important,’ she replied, ‘Will… I have a seriously bad feeling about this. I was concerned when we were taking a break in our quarters, but at this point… I’m getting scared.’

Riker stood up, tugging his tunic down again. ‘That’s good enough for me. Let’s find out where they are right now and see what’s going on.’

Troi stood up too and then they headed out to the bridge together.

*

On Terlina III, Kristen was stood in Doctor Soong’s bathroom and was looking at herself in the mirror above the sink. She’d gone in there to use the facilities but since she’d washed her hands, she’d caught her reflection in the looking glass and now she was transfixed by herself. Her nudity wasn’t of any interest and nor were the impassioned bite marks on her throat and upper chest, but her face was intriguing given that as far as she was concerned, it was the first time she had ever seen it in her life.

She had figured that she had the same sort of appearance as Lore, even though she was female and he was male and her skin was not as pale or pearlescent as his. She had supposed that her eyes were gold and that her hairline and head had the same sort of look, but no. Her eyes were blood-red with enlarged black pupils and wherever her hair was shaved off, she had odd grey shapes fitted that were crossed with visible wires. Those implants had flashing lights that winked on and off constantly. 

Her appearance was eerie and Kristen wasn’t sure she liked it. In fact, she couldn’t stop staring at herself in discomfort. 

She put her hands to the edge of the sink and took a closer look.

_Why are parts of my endoskeleton exposed? Lore’s skull is not exposed like this. Am I broken? Has he not finished his work on me? I feel… unfinished. Incomplete._

He came to find her eventually. He’d pulled his trousers back on but hadn’t bothered with his shirt. Strong hands grasped her hips from behind and at that, she saw his face next to hers in the mirror. ‘What are you doing?’ he asked, with a lazy smile. 

‘I didn’t notice there was a mirror in here before. I saw myself in it and… now I can’t stop looking…’ she replied.

‘If I was as beautiful as you, I’d probably be doing the same,’ he said, stepping a little closer. He dropped a kiss on her neck and then gently bit her earlobe.

‘I’m not beautiful,’ she said, sadness filling her eyes.

Lore noticed that sadness and he frowned. ‘How can you say that? You’re flawless. I made you to be what I consider the imagine of absolute perfection,’

‘I am incomplete,’ she whispered, ‘my hair is shaved… my implants are exposed… and my eyes are scary. I don’t like the way I am. I want you to fix me. I want to be a real girl,’

‘You _are_ a real girl,’

‘No, I’m not.’

Concerned, Lore moved his hands to her waist and then he turned her around so they were facing one another. ‘I couldn’t improve on you if I tried my very hardest,’ he told her, shaking his head subtly at even the notion of her being anything less than beautiful or complete, ‘I worked very hard to make you what you are. There is nothing for me to fix. You’re exquisite.’

Kristen sighed, her heart hurting. ‘I want yellow eyes like yours…’

‘No, no, you don’t. Absolutely not.’ His hands moved again, this time re-locating to her neck, where he held her gently and ensured she couldn’t look away from his determined gaze. ‘I might, at some point in our future, use some bioplast skin in a colour suited to yours to cover some of your grafts but I honestly think that even that endeavour would be pointless. If your hair grows back, then we’ll let that happen. Overall, I want you just as you are. I can’t imagine anything or anyone more perfect than you,’ 

‘Hmm…’

‘You don’t want to disappoint me, do you?’

_No. Anything but that._

Kristen ran her hands up his chest and then she rested her head there, pressing herself to him as she listened to the steady thumping of his heartbeat. Lore held her close, running his fingers through her hair, and they had a quiet moment together whilst she let his words and affection soothe her. 

Lore broke the silence by whispering to her, ‘Would it make you feel better if I told you how well you pleased me tonight?’

At that, she looked up at him immediately, her lips holding a small and timid smile. ‘Yes…’

‘You’re no longer inexperienced with intimacy and of that there is no doubt, Kristen. You’ve learned with the speed and attention to detail that only beings like you and I could, how to be the perfect lover. You’re the only one who has ever made me feel that good.’

Her smile grew but remained modest. ‘Really?’

Lore gave her an approving nod. His golden lips were tilted in a handsome smile but that faded when he leaned in and gave her a kiss. Kristen needed that kiss badly and so she leaned up on her tiptoes so she could return it, her arms lifting so she could wrap them around his neck. Their kissing had changed since they’d had sex. Now, they were rougher and more intimate. He was wonderfully skilled with these things and Kristen tried to learn from every trick he showed her. 

He slowed the kiss down, nipped her bottom lip with his teeth and then he pulled back and looked at her again. ‘I tried to hold off,’ he said, stroking her cheek with the backs of his fingers, ‘but you’ve reached me, Kristen. I didn’t think I’d let anyone this close.’

A little confused, she frowned. ‘I’ve… reached you?’

Lore nodded again. Then he circled his arms around her waist and lifted her up in such a way that she instantly wrapped her legs around him. Carrying her out of the semi-dark bathroom, he returned her to the bed they’d spent so many hours exploring one another in and then he lay her down on her back. Kristen was feeling better now. His kind words had elevated her spirit and she felt safer now that he’d assured her that he found her beautiful. She didn’t think she was attractive at all but if her keeper did… that was the only thing that mattered. 

_I exist only for you._

He guided her thighs open so he could stand between them and then he placed his hands at either side of her head and looked down at her with a heated expression.

‘I’ll do whatever you tell me to do, whenever you tell me to do it,’ Kristen told him.

Lore smiled at her. ‘I know you will. Do you know what I want you to do right now?’

She licked her lips and nodded. ‘I will please you.’

He slowly moved downwards so that his body covered hers. She hooked one leg around him and moved her hands to hold his face. ‘And I’ll please you too,’ he whispered, before giving her another, deeper kiss.

* 

The _Titan_ was with the _Enterprise_ some hours later but as soon as they reached that particular section of the Beta Quadrant, Troi realised that she wasn’t sure how herself and Captain Riker should break the news to their former colleagues that something was wrong. 

The last thing they wanted to do was beam over there and incite a wave of drama and especially so when there was a distinct lack of psychology support staff on the ship. Plus, they needed more clues before they assumed anything. The issue was serious already but neither of them wanted to jump to dangerous conclusions.

‘We need a plan,’ Riker said to her.

Troi nodded. ‘What do you suggest?’

‘I’ll ask Jean-Luc if I can have a word with him in private. I’ll catch up with him on a personal level and then I’ll start to ask about the details of these mystery conferences. I know he’s not one to jump to red alert or even yellow alert for no good reason but I still want to handle this with sensitivity. When I feel it’s the right time, I’ll tell him that Harper, Yates and the others have disappeared,’ 

‘Okay.’ She rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. ‘This is awful…’

‘I know, but we don’t know for sure what’s happening yet. We’ve got to treat this as a mystery with the potential for solution rather than a kidnapping,’ he replied.

Troi agreed with all of that, despite her serious misgivings about the missing officers.

‘Whilst I’m talking to Jean-Luc, I suggest that you find Data and have a word with him. Alone. Try and meet with him at his quarters, if possible,’

‘I need to tell him the truth, Will. He needs to know that Kristen isn’t at the Academy,’

‘I agree… and there’s no better person for that news to come from than you, Deanna.’

She nodded. ‘He did mention to me that Kristen has only been in touch with him via written message. She won’t communicate with him via video-link,’

‘That’s strange… but then, everything about this is strange. Do you think those messages are coming from her?’

‘I have no idea but it seems doubtful.’

Riker stood up and then asked for his ship to hail the _Enterprise_. Picard answered the hail at once and was also standing, over on his bridge. ‘Well, well, Captain Riker,’ he said, with a smile, ‘to what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?’

‘Hello, Sir. Permission to beam over?’ Riker asked.

Troi stood also, coming to her fiancée’s side. ‘We have a matter at hand that we’d like to discuss with you. It’s quite urgent.’

Picard’s smile disappeared. ‘Anything I should be concerned about?’

Troi had to try hard not to spill her suspicions right there and then. ‘It’s more of a mystery at this stage,’ she replied.

‘There’s nothing more enjoyable than a mystery and the sport of unravelling it, as you two well know through our many years of shared service,’ Picard said, ‘that or meeting with old, dear friends, of course. Please beam over as soon as you’re ready.’

The screen went blank then and Troi and Riker exchanged a look. ‘Let’s go to the transporter room right now. Commander Mears, you’ve got the bridge,’ he said.

As soon as they were in the turbolift, he took Troi’s hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. ‘I’m sure we’ll figure this out. For all we know, there was some mix-up and…’ He frowned at himself. ‘Not even I believe that. What am I saying? There’s definitely more to this than an administrative fault and we both know it, don’t we?’

Troi laced her fingers between his, glad for his support. ‘Yes. I need to talk to Data. I need to know if he’s had any more of those “messages” from Kristen. I also want to be with him when he realises that something is amiss. I feel terrible for him already.’

‘Me too.’ Riker nodded and when the turbolift doors opened, they exited and started to walk down the corridor. ‘He’ll be alright. We’ll find Kristen and the others and we’ll bring them home if it’s the last thing we do.’

Troi hoped that would be possible.

*

Walking out of the transporter room on the _Enterprise_ , she watched Riker head off to the bridge and then she started to walk down the corridor and tapped her communicator. ‘Troi to Data.’

There was a pause and then, ‘Data here. Counselor Troi? I had no idea you were on the ship,’

‘I only just got here. Where are you at the moment?’

‘I am in my quarters. Are you alright? Has something happened?’

‘No. Yes. Maybe. Can I pay you a visit?’

‘Certainly.’

The comm link ended with a chirrup and Troi kept walking. There were crowds of officers in the corridors, some heading to one duty or another and others stood talking with their friends or colleagues. Their thoughts provided a welcome distraction as she entered another turbolift and then waited to arrive on the correct deck.

*

Data had been in his quarters for only a few moments when Troi contacted him. After ending his day shift, Picard had ordered him to go and take some time off before taking the bridge for nightwatch. Kristen and her colleagues were due to be picked up from the Terran system the following evening and he was in the process of hiding the paintings he’d made of her so she wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of them when she returned. 

He had then planned to send her another message to ask why she still hadn’t replied to the last few he’d sent, and then he had expected to spend some time in deep reflection as he tried once more not to give in to the worry that had been building up in him for what felt like so long. 

Really, he would have preferred to in some extra bridge time and use the facilities there for several diagnostic reports he was expected to compile. Passing time in that way was not favourable when his fiancée was there, but whilst she was absent and silent too, Data was content to work and be productive. It gave him a sense of balance. But Picard had ordered him to recreate for a while and an order was an order. 

He put away the last of the paintings, covered them with a silvery cloth and then he looked up when he heard the signal at his door. Data asked Troi to come in at once and was surprised by how truly glad he was to see her. It had been quite some time since they’d been on the same ship.

She gave him a weak smile, one that indicated her purpose on the ship was not entirely down to catching up with her friends. ‘Hi, Data. How are you?’

‘I am well. It is good to see you,’ he replied, coming over to her.

Her smile faltered even more. 

‘Would you like some refreshment? Some hot chocolate, perhaps?’

‘No, that’s alright. Thank you Data,’ she replied.

‘You appear to be troubled. Is everything alright?’

‘I’m not sure. I need to talk to you about something,’

‘Please, sit down, Counselor. I am happy to talk to you,’ Data said, gesturing to a chair near his work console. 

She visibly debated whether to sit or not, then eventually made up her mind and settled on the edge of the seat. Data followed her, sitting at the chair behind the console. He would never class himself as an expert on human feelings, even if he did have a wide variety of them himself, but he was certain then that something was seriously wrong.

_Please let this be about anything at all other than Kristen. If she has left me for someone else or if something has happened to her, I have no idea how I will cope._

‘Data,’ Troi began, ‘when was the last time you heard from Kristen?’

_Oh no…_

‘Several days ago,’ he replied.

‘Did she still refuse to communicate via video-link?’

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I gather she is very busy at the conferences,’

‘Data… there are no conferences.’

He tilted his head slightly, dread beginning to flood his circuits. He remained silent for a moment as he became accustomed to the feeling, not quite sure how to process it. Then he frowned and leaned forward a little. ‘They were cancelled?’ he asked.

‘No. They were never organised in the first place. Recently, when Captain Picard and I spoke in private, he told me that she had gone with some others to work on her knowledge of child psychology. I knew something wasn’t right because I would have been invited to the same conferences. I didn’t panic or worry about it too much but earlier today I contacted Counselor T’Por from the _USS Reason_ just to check it out and she said the same – there were no conferences organised over the past month.’ 

_Please… no…_

‘If you check your computer, it will verify with you that the dates was never set and those who were supposed to run it had never been assigned. T’Por also checked to see if Kristen or the others reached earth and… they didn’t. They’re not there.’

Data continued to frown as he processed the information. ‘…Then Kristen and the others are missing?’

‘There is a strong possibility of that. I don’t know what’s happened here or why, but I’ve got a bad feeling,’

‘But… she has been in contact with me…’

‘I doubt very much that those messages were from Kristen,’

‘I see…’ 

‘What shall we do?’

_I have to be professional. I have to be professional. I have to be professional._

‘I believe we should immediately assign a team of security officers to Lieutenant N’Dya and have them look into this in person,’ he replied.

‘Alright, that’s a good idea. Will is with the Captain right now and he’ll be bringing him up to speed on the details,’ she replied.

‘Good. As soon as we’ve spoken to N’Dya, you should join Riker and the Captain and I will return here to think this over and do my own research,’

‘Yes, okay.’

Data felt the dread intensify for a moment and he had to remain motionless so that it wouldn’t overwhelm him. For some bizarre reason, when the notion of abduction settled with full weight in his mind, he was reminded of the time he was held captive by the Borg Queen. 

A horrific vision of Kristen abducted and assimilated by the Borg flickered through the darker side of his imagination, showing her skin as white as his own and her body manipulated by artificial embellishments. It was far from viable to conclude that she’d had even the remotest encounter with the Borg, given that the _Enterprise_ had had no dealings with them since his own abduction and their journey back through time to save history, but the horror inside him was birthing waking nightmares that had no rhyme or reason at all.

_Who could have taken her? Why would someone take her? Where is she? Where is my beloved?_

Not realising he had drifted so far, he started a little when Troi reached over the console and touched his hand. ‘Data?’ she asked, her tone concerned.

‘I apologise. I did not mean to become so… preoccupied,’ he said.

‘I’m frightened too,’ she replied at once, dismissing his unnecessary apology, ‘there’s nothing wrong with being worried or letting it affect you, Data. I can only imagine how this must be making you feel.’

He took her hand for a moment and squeezed it, grateful for her friendship. She had done so very much for him over the years, on a personal level, and he was pleased that it was she who had broken the news to him. She always delivered such things with tactfulness and compassion. 

‘I am… alright, Deanna. Thank you for your support.’

She smiled, though her eyes remained dark. ‘Anytime, Data. Shall we go and speak to N’Dya right now?’

‘Yes. I think that would be the most productive thing to do at this time,’ Data replied. 

‘We should keep this on a need-to-know basis too,’ she added.

Data nodded. ‘Agreed.’

Standing from his seat, he asked the computer to locate the Lieutenant and then he was followed by the Counselor in leaving his quarters and heading for the bridge.

*

Security Chief Ben N’Dya was standing at tactical when Commanders Data and Troi stepped onto the bridge. At first he thought they were there to relieve Worf of command and by the looks of it, Worf had figured the same thing. The stalwart Klingon turned and looked up at them both expectantly but Data shook his head at him at once, a silent order to remain in the Captain’s chair and continue with his watch. 

N’Dya faced his superior officers as they approached him.

‘Are Captain Picard and Will still in the ready room?’ Troi asked.

‘Yes. Do you need one of them?’

‘Not at this time,’ Data said, ‘Lieutenant, please accompany the Counselor and I to the observation lounge.’

Nonplussed, he allowed a member of his security staff to take over his post and then followed his colleagues across the bridge and to the turbolift. 

Nothing was said during their short journey to the correct deck. N’Dya stole a look at Troi once or twice, but all she offered was a polite smile. Finally, when they arrived at the observation lounge, Data went to the head of the long, highly-polished table in there and took a seat. Counselor Troi sat next to him and N’Dya, starting to feel a little anxious, sat a few seats away from them both, wanting some distance from their eerie quietude.

Troi looked at Data and something passed between them before the silence was broken. She turned to face N’Dya again and began to speak. ‘Lieutenant, we need to discuss a matter of security with you and for the time being, we both ask that you keep what we are about to tell you on a need-to-know basis only. Riker is discussing this matter with the Captain currently but overall, we have decided to keep this matter on the lowdown,’

‘Alright. I trust you both,’ N’Dya replied, ‘what’s happened?’

Data lifted his eyes from the table, where he had been staring with quite uncharacteristic distraction, and faced him. ‘Counselor Harper is missing, along with the other crew members who were supposed to accompany her to the child psychology conferences on earth. Counselor Troi became suspicious when Captain Picard told her about the conferences and looked into the matter. It has been confirmed that the seminars did not take place and that they are not where they were supposed to be.’

N’Dya couldn’t suppress a horrified expression, even if it was a semi-controlled one. He had worked with Kristen for quite some time and had come to like her very much. The thought of her and the others disappearing, without even a hint of suspicious behaviour had his blood run cold. 

He fancied himself as an exceptionally vigilant security chief and hadn’t noticed anything out of place when she and the others had left the ship. He remembered how much Kristen had been looking forward to the conferences – they had discussed it once or twice after his counselling appointments with her - and since her absence, it hadn’t even occurred to him that something might have gone awry. Why would it?

‘Thank you for bringing this to my attention,’ he said, still frowning, ‘I’ll get on the case right away. Do you think Captain Picard would mind if I took a shuttle and headed to earth?’

‘The Captain will understand that the venture is one necessary of investigation. Worf will be more than content to cover your shifts,’ Data replied.

N’Dya stood from the table and pushed his chair under. ‘Is there anything else I need to know?’ he asked.

Troi turned her huge, dark eyes to his. ‘I have a bad feeling, Ben. Data has been in touch with Kristen since she left but she’s refused to communicate via video-link. There has to be a reason for that,’

‘Agreed. Do you have anyone in mind at the centre of this? Anyone who might want a team of Starfleet psychology staff or why they might want them?’

Troi thought for a moment, becoming quiet. Data glanced at her and then looked to N’Dya, his face as calm as always. ‘It would be futile to speculate at this time,’ he said.

‘Understood, Sir,’ N’Dya replied. He felt a stab of sympathy for his android superior, but didn’t dare express the sentiment. Instead he nodded to him and then turned to leave the room. 

‘Ben?’ Troi said, just as he reached the door.

‘Yes?’ he asked, looking over his shoulder.

‘Hurry, won’t you?’

‘Of course. We’ll find them, I promise you both.’

He left then, his mind already working on a selection of officers who would be ideal for such a mission. Squaring his jaw and deciding not to focus on the unease in his stomach, he headed straight for the shuttle bay. There he would contact those he deemed best for the job and then he would set off to the Terran system at once, not wanting to waste any time. 

Enough time had been wasted already.

*

By the time he and Counselor Troi had spoken further on the matter and then exited the observation lounge, Data was feeling so terrified that he could barely concentrate. He came close to switching off his emotion chip a number of times, but every time he was about to do so he remembered what Kristen had told him in the past about doing that when he should be trying to work through his feelings. He couldn’t bring himself to do it out of sheer respect for her. 

Troi asked him if he was alright, if he needed to talk any further, but he politely declined her offer. Mirror-like eyes reflecting the worry he was experiencing, Troi told him to contact her if he changed his mind and then she left him to go to the Captain and Riker, to see what their thoughts were.

Data returned to the bridge briefly, just to check what the sensors were reporting on their cyclic surveillances of the Quadrant and when he found everything to be as it had been all day, he walked back to the turbolift and then to his quarters. The night shift would commence in an hour’s time and he had no idea how he was going to get through it. 

Sitting straight down at his work console in the rear part of his quarters, he brought up the same Starfleet psychology conference timetable Troi had viewed before contacting Counselor T’Por. It stated just what he knew he’d find there; the conferences had never been planned. 

There was no cancellation notice, no leading child psychology experts at the Academy at that time and no mentioning of lectures or assemblies covering that subject. There were plenty of ones covering things such as regressive therapy, holodiction, sleep disorders and other types of human neuroses but nothing even remotely linked to children or their mental health. 

Data scanned his eyes over the list several times, just in case something had been missed. Unsatisfied when he found nothing out of place, he next began to sift through the messages on Kristen’s personal channel. 

It was not something he would ordinarily do, but given the circumstances he was sure she would understand. There were several from her brother Robert, one or two from friends, one from her sister-in-law Katie, one from Counselor Troi from a week or so ago and several from patients whom had requested appointments with her when she returned. 

A recent one from “Starfleet Command” was brief in its details and invited her to the “conferences”. Bizarrely, it seemed to have come from nowhere that could be pinpointed as a recognisable source, as Data knew it had not come from Starfleet Command at all. Having lived and been involved with Kristen for so long, Data had come to know a few Counselors and Starfleet psychology staff and the message clearly hadn’t come from any of them either. 

It was a one-way channel, almost like a computer-simulated message – something that could easily have been sent from a digitised frequency or some other means of communication infiltration.

Data sat back in his seat and stared into the screen for a long time. 

As his mind turned over the facts and questions before him, with the rapid pace and accuracy his positronic brain was designed to compute, memories surfaced. The sense that he might lose Kristen someday, back when they’d returned from shore leave and several times afterwards. Robert Harper, telling him to take care of Kristen and keep her safe. The promise he’d made to Robert that he would always make sure she was well and protected from harm. The worry he’d felt when letting her leave for Deep Space Nine. 

Now he was faced with the worst case scenario of those imaginings, Data found himself feeling two bold and conflicting emotions. The first was a searing numbness that seemed to be keeping him from thinking straight and the second was an even deeper terror than that he’d felt earlier.

For Kristen to be summoned in such a way made the whole thing feel very personal. She was heading that particular group of officers specifically and was, of course, the senior member of staff appointed to that sector of operations on the ship. She was the Captain’s confidante and helper and she was the emotional pulse of the ship’s compliment. Out of everyone on board the _Enterprise_ , Kristen was the one who knew the most about the crew and the domestic passengers, both professionally and personally. 

Could that be relevant? Who could benefit from such things?

_Kristen… where are you? Who has taken you from me?_

Her eyes… her lips… how she’d cried and laughed at the same time when she’d agreed to marry him.

_I cannot handle this. I cannot concentrate. My heart hurts._

Standing from his console, Data went to replicate a cup of coffee and then went to the sofa in the living area. Sitting down, he glanced at Spot. She was sleeping and curled up tight in a ball, oblivious to the myriad of horrors he was currently reflecting on.

He thought about Kristen’s bleary eyes and coffee cravings in a morning, the way she would sometimes leave notes on his paintings that were enthusiastic with loving praise, her habit of sometimes falling asleep after dinner and the way she always, without fail, told him how much she cared for him each day. No other person in his entire existence had ever shown him such warmth and love. 

Her thought about their engagement again. The tour around the ship. The roses, the ring. 

_I cannot process this. I cannot process these emotions._

The thought of living without her was akin to nightmarish. It made no sense at all and Data was not going to accept her disappearance. There was no way he could accept it or the notion of living a life without her. No longer wanting his coffee, or to be in his quarters at all with such a head full of horror and confusion, he left his rooms and started to walk the corridors.

Somehow, he ended up in a turbolift and then he was stepping out onto the bridge. He had absolutely no idea how he’d gotten there, such was the extent of his terror and pain, and when Captains Picard and Riker exited the ready room with Troi right behind them, he came to a standstill and just stared at them.

‘Number One,’ Picard said, coming over to him at once, ‘I believe that Lieutenant N’Dya has already taken his team to the Terran system?’

Data continued to stare, his eyes unfocused.

‘Hey,’ Riker said, ‘are you alright?’

Data couldn’t speak, didn’t know how to react.

_I cannot process this. Is this a malfunction? I feel too much… too much…_

Picard began to frown and then a moment later, his eyes softened and he took Data’s arm, pulling him with him until they were in the ready room. Riker followed and when Picard eased Data down into a chair, Troi came to his side and crouched down next to him. The doors closed with a hush.

‘Data, it’s alright. Everything’s going to be okay,’ Troi said, reaching to touch his arm.

Riker folded his arms over his chest. ‘He’s in shock,’ he said. ‘Data? Are you hearing us? Can you hear what we’re saying?’

Data looked up at Captain Picard, the only face he could seem to focus on. ‘Sir, I require you to relieve me of duty with immediate effect,’ he said.

Picard shook his head. ‘Absolutely not.’

‘Sir, please… I cannot handle this situation… I cannot cope with this loss…’

‘We don’t know what’s happened yet. All we know is that Harper and the others are missing. That doesn’t mean we’re not going to find them,’ Picard replied.

Riker moved closer. ‘If you’re relieved of duty, you can’t help us. If anyone is going to help us figure this out and plan a potential rescue, it’s you, Data.’

Data wished he could feel the support that was being shown to him, but the numbness was intensifying and so was the shock. 

_I cannot process this… my beloved is gone…_

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Feedback always welcomed and appreciated! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Happy New Year! xx


	24. Pursuit

Behind Soong’s lab, Lore was organising his and Kristen’s departure by carrying supplies into the runabout. She wasn’t proving to be a great deal of help because of an unusually whimsical mood she’d fallen into but he was alright with that. He kept an eye on her as he entered and exited the craft several times and though he was fully aware of the increasing seriousness of their impending escape, he was also distracted by the way she was behaving. 

Kristen was talking to herself as she wandered around the trees and on occasion, she would twirl around or perform other playful dance steps that made it clear how oblivious she was to the potential danger they could soon be in. They might be lovers now, but she still retained that captivating innocence that had occurred in her once he’d wiped her mind of all memories and personal experiences. 

As much as Lore hoped she’d eventually realise that them leaving Terlina III was a crucial matter, he also couldn’t help but enjoy the way she carried herself through the tall grasses and trees. She was definitely used to her cybernetic limbs for she was balanced and even dextrous as she experimented with skips and twirls and, sometimes, with impressively graceful cartwheels.

He carried some weaponry into the runabout, careful that she wouldn’t see any of it and ask questions he’d rather not answer, and once he’d concealed them he went to stand in the doorway. Kristen was still talking to herself as she bent over and pressed her outspread palms to the earth. Then she slowly tipped her body weight forwards and managed to spring up and balance herself with her legs in the air. 

Lore laughed to himself, wondering what else she’d prove herself to be capable of. As each day went by she became more and more proficient with skills both physical and mental.

_My creation. My perfect girl. Mine._

Kristen righted herself eventually, did a twirl with her hands in the air, and then she paused and realised she was being watched. Lore lifted a hand and beckoned her over and at that, she came to him and walked up the runabout ramp.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he asked, trying to keep the amusement from his tone.

‘Just playing,’ she said, with a shy smile.

‘You won’t be able to do any of that when we get on our way. This craft might be fairly big but there definitely isn’t room for cartwheels,’ he told her.

Kristen reached for his hands and when Lore offered them to her, she took them and moved up-close to him. ‘I won’t dance anymore if it displeases you,’ she said.

‘I don’t mind it at all,’ he replied, truthfully so, ‘but it’s time to leave that for now. I want you to come with me.’

He pulled her so that he could guide her inside the craft and as soon as she was in there, her eyes widened as she took a look around. ‘Ooooh…’

‘This will be our home for a while. I’m not sure how long we’ll be staying here because I’m still figuring out where we’re going to go long-term. I think that it might be best for us to stay on the move for as long as possible. It’s certainly served me well in the past,’ he told her.

Not listening because of her state of wonderment, Kristen let go of his hands and he watched as she peered at the helm controls and then climbed into the pilot seat. Crouching there instead of sitting, she tilted her head and cast her excited gaze over everything before her. ‘Lots of buttons. I like them. What do they do? Which ones can I press?’

Lore raised his eyebrows. ‘Rule number one, Kristen. You are not permitted to touch any of the controls at all,’

‘Not even this red one?’ she asked, pointing to the button that would immediately cut out the life support controls. 

Lore might not need oxygen, but she certainly did. ‘Especially not that red one,’ he said, moving to her side. He took her forearm and guided her off the chair so she was standing again. ‘The helm is a no-go area for you, Kristen,’ 

‘But I like it…’

‘Well, that’s too bad. Come on, I’ll show you where you’re going to stay.’

The area of the craft that held a living space was where he’d decided to keep her. He’d brought some of his Father’s mythology books for her to read and there was a bunk for her to sleep in. She had changes of clothes and the replicator was working for when she needed to eat or drink. Kristen climbed into the bunk immediately and made herself comfortable, sitting cross-legged. 

Lore came over and sat by her side. ‘You okay?’ he asked.

‘I’ll miss the lab,’ she said, ‘but I like it here too.’

He smiled. ‘Rule number two, Kristen. Unless I call you to the helm for a specific purpose, you are to stay here and keep yourself entertained. I’m going to have to concentrate whenever I’m piloting and though I’m more than capable of multi-tasking, I’d prefer to not have to for the first few days at least. If you need me, you can call me subliminally and I’ll come to you when I can. Otherwise, I want you to keep to yourself and be as well-behaved as you said you’d be. Do you understand?’

She nodded. ‘Yes. I understand.’

Lore watched her for a moment, drinking in her pretty eyes and tempting lips. He rather felt like shirking the last of what he needed to do so they could christen the bunk with a most energetic and thorough coupling, but he knew time was running out. He’d already let far too much time pass. They should already be out in deep space but he’d been distracted by her sweetness and beauty and as such, he had not been entirely focused. 

The time to focus was now. When they were safe and far away from Terlina III, he’d be able to indulge himself in her as much as he wanted. That was a highly satisfying thought.

Kristen leaned forward as he got to his feet again. She made a little whimper of confusion but he turned and gave her a sharp look. ‘What did I just say about being well-behaved?’

She blinked and then she moved backwards so that she was in the corner of the bunk. ‘I’ll stay here whilst you work…’

‘Yes, you will. Trust me, all of this is to ensure that we can stay together and that I can continue to keep you. You want that, don’t you?’

‘More than anything I can imagine,’ she said, peering up at him with a smile.

Lore nodded. ‘Stay here then. I’m going to close things down at the lab and then we’ll be leaving,’

‘Alright…’

He left that area of the craft then, heading to the door. He turned back to check on her and saw that she was still in the bunk. Her red eyes were glowing in the semi-darkness. He allowed himself another moment to appreciate her and then he turned, jogged down the ramp and got back to work.

*

As soon as Ben N’Dya and his security team returned to the _Enterprise_ , Captain Picard called a meeting in his observation lounge. Because of the fact that Commander Data was still in a state of shock, only himself, N’Dya, Worf, Riker and Troi sat down around the table.

‘Report,’ Picard said, his tone clipped.

‘I wish I had some answers for you, Sir,’ N’Dya said, ‘but no-one at the Academy knows anything about this situation at all. As far as they’re concerned, they haven’t seen Harper since she graduated and the same can be said for Yates, Jijesh, Jones and Sarrott.’

Riker sighed and shook his head. ‘And we knew that’s what you’d say. Still, it needed to be investigated in person,’

‘Have you contacted the families of the missing?’ Worf asked.

‘Not yet,’ N’Dya replied.

‘Not even to make enquiries?’

‘No. Had they noticed something was wrong, they would have been in touch with enquiries of their own. I don’t want to worry them at such an early stage,’ N’Dya replied.

Worf looked unimpressed. Picard wanted to remind him once again that he was no longer in charge of those responsibilities but it wasn’t the time or the place for reprimands. ‘Alright. Now that we know for sure that these officers are missing, we need to form a plan,’ he said, ‘what do we have to work with?’

Troi frowned. ‘The only thing I can think of is the fact that Harper was apparently communicating with Data. They exchanged a great deal of messages, but-’

‘She refused a video-link. Yes, I know. That much is highly suspicious,’ Picard said.

‘Poor Data. At the time, he probably thought that she was just too busy to talk to him that way,’ Riker said.

‘I would have thought the same,’ Troi agreed, ‘conferences at the Academy can eat up days and weeks. I know I’ve missed sleep when I’m back there and haven’t had much time to myself at all,’

‘Yes.’ Picard nodded and then steepled his hands in front of himself. ‘It would be prudent for Data to show us those personal messages so we can examine them in detail but in the sensitive state he’s in, I do not believe he should be present. Counselor, could you visit with him and ask him to send those messages to us? We can then read them and see if there’s something in their composition or wording that he might have missed.’

Troi stood up. ‘I’ll go to him right now, but… Sir, if anyone would notice something awry, it would have been Data. If at any point Harper hadn’t sounded like herself, he surely would have mentioned it to one of us immediately,’

‘I agree, but what else can we do? The only clues we have are those transmissions,’ Picard replied.

She nodded. ‘I’ll be back soon,’ she said, and then left the lounge.

Riker stood up and went to the replicator. ‘Could anyone else do with some caffeine? I couldn’t sleep last night because of this mess and I know I’m going to need plenty of coffee today to stay focused,’

‘Yes, please,’ N’Dya replied.

Worf shook his head, but Picard requested his usual Earl Grey tea. When the drinks were brought over, the four men sat in silence for a while. 

Picard had thought that the untimely visit from Q (then again, weren’t _all_ visits from Q untimely?) had been by far the most odd and stressful development for his crew since the turnaround but now that Harper and the others had been confirmed as missing, he knew that this was far worse. He almost felt bad for times he’d wished for more engaging and mysterious missions, for it seemed he had tempted fate by doing so.

They had a serious matter on their hands now and Picard himself could not think of a single person who could possibly benefit from kidnapping those specific members of his crew. As he sipped his tea, he wondered fleetingly if Q might be involved in some way but then he dismissed the idea. Q was too flamboyant. Subtlety was not his thing at all and there was definitely something subtle about this matter. Harper and the others had been spirited away with such ruthless silence that it discomforted him enormously.

_Where are my officers? And who has been sending messages to Data?_

_We need a resolution to this enigma and fast. No-one steals members of my crew and gets away with it._

*

At Data’s quarters, Troi signalled at the door and then waited. There was no answer for a long time and so she signalled again, frowning to herself in consternation. Data called her in when she signalled for a third time and so she entered and looked for him at once. 

He was at his workstation and judging by the amount of empty coffee cups littering the console, he’d been sat there since she and Riker had escorted him last night. He didn’t need the caffeine of course, but she knew he’d developed a liking for coffee ever since he’d been Kristen Harper’s sole patient. Data didn’t look up at her as she crossed the room and came to him. His eyes were fixed to the screen in front of him and the fingers of his left hand were adjusting controls.

‘Hello, Data,’ she said, trying to keep the open concern from her tone.

‘Hello, Counselor,’ Data replied, still reading.

Troi took the chair she’d sat on last night and moved it so it was by his side. Sitting down with him and knowing he wouldn’t mind her taking a peek at whatever he was reading, she leaned forward so she could get a better look. 

He was poring over the exact messages she’d been sent here to ask him for access to. In the silence between them, she read the loving words that Harper and Data had apparently exchanged over the past four weeks. There was absolutely nothing suspicious about them at all. Whoever had been masquerading as Harper clearly knew her well, for they knew how she expressed herself and how exactly to conduct such correspondence. 

She was open in her affection, telling Data with every single message that she adored him and loved him with all of her heart. She was looking forward to their engagement party and planning their wedding. She was an excited bride-to-be. 

_This is horrendous. If someone stole Will from me and then I had to receive love letters like these from a stranger pretending to be him, it would break me into a hundred million pieces. There’s no wonder Data is in shock. I would be too._

Troi looked to Data. He was blank-faced and so controlled that it made her brows knit together with great concern. When she used her Empathic abilities to tap into his true feelings, there was so much inside him that it caused her to wince. 

Data was absolutely terrified. He was trying his hardest to hold off the shock he was in so that he could dedicate himself to investigating the matter with his usual methodical expertise but though he looked calm on the outside, he was in terrible pain. His heart was breaking and the horror of Kristen’s disappearance was so deep, so dark that he was close to losing control.

‘Data,’ Troi said, putting her hand to the crook of his elbow.

He turned his head, very slowly, and met her gaze. ‘Yes, Counselor?’

‘I can feel how much pain you’re in. You do know you’re not alone?’

‘I appreciate the sentiment but due to my specific bond to Kristen, I am very much alone in this situation,’ he replied.

‘You’re not,’ she said, ‘I know you’re in love with her and that you care for her more than anyone but that doesn’t mean that myself and the others don’t understand what you’re going through,’

‘How can you understand?’ he asked.

Troi observed the hard look he was giving her. She didn’t take offence at all. ‘Because I especially can literally feel how hard this is for you. I can feel the shock and agony you’re trying to fend off.’

Data smirked and then he laughed, but the sound of it was hollow. ‘Your Empathy does not put you in my position. There is no way you can understand what I am going through,’

‘I’m doing my best to understand,’

‘That effort is appreciated but also pointless,’

‘I’m not trying to counsel you, Data. I’m trying to be your friend,’ she said, pulling her hand away from his arm.

He looked back to the messages he’d been reading and ignored her. Troi left him for a while, not wanting to further aggravate him when he was clearly suffering enough as it was. She too read through the information he was trying to process and those loving words from “Kristen” made her feel utterly wretched. 

_I love you, Data. I miss you so much. I can’t wait until we can be together again…_

_The conferences are difficult but I think I’m doing pretty well. I do keep getting distracted by how much I miss you, though. Are you missing me too, sweetie? Oh, I’d give anything for just ten minutes alone with you…_

_Today I learned all about separation anxiety and it was way too ironic because of this awful distance between us…_

_Data, I’m going mad without your kisses. I love you, I love you, I love you…_

When Data reached the last and most-recent transmission, he scrolled to the top of the screen again and began to read them afresh. Considering he’d clearly been doing this exact same thing since the previous evening, Troi wondered just how many times he’d scrolled and scrolled, obsessing over information that held no clues at all. Had he read them hundreds of times? Thousands? More?

‘There is a reason I’m here,’ she said, breaking the silence.

Data didn’t reply.

‘The Captain wants to see these messages so that he and Will and the others can analyse them,’

‘That is entirely unnecessary,’ he said.

‘I know this is all very personal for you, but the Captain-’

Data snapped his eyes to hers. ‘I am indifferent to the personal nature of the request. Each and every one of these messages have been compiled as though Kristen wrote them herself. There are neither pointers nor hints at imitation. I should know. Only I could know.’

Troi’s expression softened with sympathy. ‘I understand, but the Captain wants to see them.’

With a shake of his head, Data stood up. ‘Alright,’ he said.

She watched as he grabbed his PADD and then she too got up as she realised he was heading straight for the doors of his quarters. Racing after him, she managed to get to his side just as he exited the room and went out into the corridor. ‘Are you okay?’ she asked.

‘No, I am definitely not okay,’ Data said, ‘but if the Captain wants to see for himself that these exchanges bear no evidence of impersonation, then I shall deliver them personally and wait for his conclusions.’

They entered a turbolift and Troi asked for them to be taken to the relevant deck. As much as she was troubled by his mood and touched by memories of when he had no emotions at all and was a completely different person to the man he was now, she totally understood all he was both suppressing and displaying with hints of anger and frustration. She stood close to Data and though she didn’t take his hand, she did loop her arm through his and lean against him. 

At that show of supportive affection, Data released a small sigh and then he looked down at her. ‘I apologise for my fractiousness,’ he said.

‘I don’t want your apologies,’ Troi replied, ‘we’ve been friends for years, Data. I’m here for you. Just don’t push me away, alright?’

He nodded. ‘I will try not to.’

She considered him, sensing another emotion within the maelstrom he was carrying. ‘Data, why do you feel so guilty? You know that none of this is your fault…’

‘Because before Kristen was due to leave, I had a bad feeling,’ he replied.

Troi frowned. ‘Like a gut feeling?’

‘I believe that is an adequate description, despite the fact I am artificial and should not be capable of such experiences. I sensed that her departure would lead to trouble and yet I was attempting to be supportive to such an extent that I let her go anyway. Had I listened to what I was truly feeling and taken it more seriously, Kristen would still be here. She would be safe,’ he said.

Troi was startled. Had he evolved to such an extent of where he was capable of even more than human emotion? Did he have genuine intuition now? It certainly seemed that way. ‘Please don’t blame yourself. You were bound to worry about her and not want her to leave. Absolutely none of this is your fault,’ she said.

Data studied her with his eyes. ‘Thank you for your kindness… but I believe I am at least partially responsible…’

‘You’re not even remotely responsible for any of this,’ Troi implored him, ‘but feeling guilt is natural. I suppose that everything you’re feeling is natural. Just try not to let it hold you down, alright? We’ve got to work hard now and focus on finding Kristen instead of on the potentiality of losing her. Guilt will distract you. Try to concentrate all of your emotions on figuring this out instead of on blaming yourself.’

Data sighed and then nodded. ‘Yes. I understand. I will try.’

She gave him a brave smile and then the turbolift doors opened. Letting go of his arm, Troi led the two of them in their journey to the observation lounge. Before they entered, she gave him a determined glance which was reciprocated and then they went into the room together.

‘Mister Data,’ Captain Picard said, standing up, ‘I didn’t expect you to be fit for a meeting of this nature so soon.’

Data went over to him and handed him the PADD. ‘It is unlikely that I am fit for these duties but it is likely better that I am here with my friends than alone in my quarters.’

Troi didn’t smile outwardly but she did feel warmth bloom inside her. He had listened to her it seemed, even if he was angry and unbalanced. When he sat down, she made sure to sit down right next to him.

‘Alright,’ Picard said, ‘if it’s alright with you, Data, we’ll put these messages on the main screen and we’ll analyse them as a group?’

‘That is acceptable,’

‘I know these messages are personal,’ Riker put in, ‘are you sure you don’t mind us reading them?’

Data’s expression was tinged with chagrin. ‘I hardly think that privacy is an element worthy of consideration, given the matter at hand,’ he said, ‘Sir.’

Riker looked at him for a moment and then he nodded.

Picard tapped a few buttons on the PADD and then the correspondence was made viewable on the observation lounge screen. 

Data turned his gaze away from those heartfelt words and Troi rested her arm around the back of his chair, not touching him directly but also wanting him to remember that she was on his side.

*

Needless to say, Data was not at all surprised when his colleagues could not garner any clues from those messages. They spent over two hours picking through every single word and the only conclusion they could come to was that it was almost as though Kristen truly had written them herself. Data was not the kind of individual to state ‘I told you so’ but those words definitely occurred to him when Captain Picard announced that there was no point in analysing them any further. 

He asked Worf and N’Dya to head out and cover the bridge and then, when they were gone, he retrieved more tea, coffee and hot chocolate for himself, Riker and Troi and sat down again at the head of the table. The three of them fell into a deep discussion but Data was too emotionally exhausted to listen or take part. 

He picked up the PADD and used his thumb to scroll from the first message “Kristen” had sent him, right through to the very last. He even looked through the ones he had sent to her, wondering what information he might have given out to the person who clearly knew where she was and what had happened to her. 

Time went on and on and though Data did try to pick up on the theories and ideas his friends were exchanging, his heart was just too broken for him to concentrate. 

Then, suddenly, there was a _blip_ and he saw that he had an incoming message. Assuming it must be from Geordi or maybe even from his Mother, he accepted the message and opened it.

_Incoming personal message_  
To : Commander Data, First Officer, USS Enterprise E  
From : Lieutenant Kristen Harper, USS Enterprise E/Starfleet Academy 

_I’m going to keep this short because at this point I’ve realised that I am in way deeper than I ever thought possible and I’ve got to speak up, anonymously, or else I don’t think I can live with myself._

_You may or may not have realised this by now, but these messages haven’t been coming from Kristen Harper. There is no way in hell I’m going to say who I am or why I’m involved in this sorry situation so don’t bother asking me._

_All I will say is that if I was you, I’d head over to Terlina III immediately. Kristen might still be there or maybe not. I don’t know. She might be dead or she might still be alive. I don’t know that either. I hope she’s alive but I’ve got my doubts._

_Just get the Enterprise over there right now and do what you can._

_Over and out._

Data straightened in his seat and opened his mouth but couldn’t think of a single thing to say. His internal processors were stirring to such an extent that he felt dizzied. His emotion chip felt about ready to burn out.

Troi looked to him and frowned. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asked.

He looked into her huge, dark eyes and then he lifted the PADD and put it in her hand. She stared at him for a long moment and then she dropped her gaze and read the same message he’d just read. As soon as she’d taken it in, her lips parted and she inhaled a sharp gasp.

The conversation that Picard and Riker had been in ended abruptly and they both turned. ‘What’s wrong with-’ Riker attempted.

‘Hold that thought,’ Troi said, ‘we’ve got some information you need to see. Right now.’

Troi’s fingers glanced over the touchscreen and then the message was displayed for all of them to read together. Picard’s steely eyes ran over the text and as realisation sank into him, he rose up from his seat and his posture stiffened with alarm. ‘You don’t think…’

‘All I know is that the last time we were there, we left Ria with Lore,’ Riker said.

‘Lore was dismantled,’ Picard said.

Riker also stood up. ‘I get the feeling that might have changed.’

Data watched as his colleagues raced out of the room and he knew they were heading to the bridge. As soon as they were there, Captain Picard would order for the _Enterprise_ to be taken directly to the Terlina system and that the ship would be pushed to the limits of warp capability so they could get there as quickly as possible. 

When he too tried to stand, Data found himself faltering. He had to find purchase on the edge of the table to keep himself upright. The shock was too much, as was the realisation.

An epiphany – as dark as space and colder than black ice – slammed into him.

_Lore._

_I now understand._

_Ria put you back together and as soon as you were reassembled and reactivated, she told you everything. She told you about everything that has happened since the events on Ohniaka III._

_She told you about my emotion chip. She told you about my interactions with her, about Kristen, about how I was fitted with your lower legs following the accident on Loistros and how, after so much more, she was taken to Terlina III and how you were buried there, as though you were dead… even though you were not._

_I now understand._

_You have taken Kristen from me so that you can use her as a tool to seek revenge._

_Is she dead? Is she alive? What have you done to her?_

The red alert klaxon began to sound and at that, Data looked up. Courage and love filtered through the pain and he realised where his place was, where he needed to be and what he needed to do. He raced out of the observation lounge and as soon as he reached the bridge, he strode over to Picard and Riker with complete control and focus.

Picard nodded to him. ‘We’ll be there in no time,’ he said.

‘We have to save her,’ Data implored, ‘if it is not too late.’

Riker bristled at those words. ‘Lore is too sadistic to kill her outright. I’d bet my life that Kris is still alive and that he’s with her right now,’

‘He’s going to use her to get back at you,’ Troi agreed, ‘if he’d killed her already, you’d know.’

Picard nodded. ‘We have a chase on our hands,’ he said.

Data looked to the viewscreen. The starfield was blurred, such was their pace. ‘Agreed,’ he said, his voice little more than a whisper.


	25. Capture

At Terlina III, Worf scanned the planet for lifeforms. Other than indigenous animal and avian species, there were none to be found.

‘What about a positronic signature?’ Riker put to him.

Worf searched again and then he turned around in his seat. ‘Nothing,’ he replied.

‘Alright.’ Picard moved to stand behind him. ‘Scan for any residual subspace distortion. If they’re not there anymore then they can’t be far. Even a hint of a warp trail would give us something to work with. I’ll take anything you can give me, Commander.’

Worf faced his screen again and after a few seconds, his expression intensified. ‘I believe that a shuttlecraft might be within the vicinity. Shall I plot a course?’

Picard nodded to him. ‘Make it so.’ He then went to stand with Data. ‘Perhaps we do not have a chase ahead of us after all,’ he said.

Data glanced to him briefly and then back to the viewscreen. ‘This is all beginning to make sense to me now, Sir,’ he said.

‘Agreed.’

Riker and Troi moved to them also. ‘We’ll strip Lore down to his circuits for this,’ Riker said, his anger starting to flare, ‘or better still, we’ll hand the bastard over to Bruce Maddox. I’m sure he can think of some inventive ways to-’

‘We don’t know what’s going on yet,’ Troi cut in, ‘if this is a regular hostage situation then Lore might have kept our people alive. They might be okay.’

Picard doubted very much that his officers would be unharmed. ‘We shall see,’ he said.

The _Enterprise_ warped on through the darkness.

*

‘ _Twinkle, twinkle, little star,  
How I wonder what you are  
Up above the world so high,  
Like a diamond in the sky._

_When the blazing sun is gone,  
When he nothing shines upon,  
Then you show your little light,  
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night._

_Then the traveller in the dark  
Thanks you for your tiny sparks;  
He could not see which way to go,  
If you did not twinkle so…_’

Lore piloted the runabout deeper into space and as he did so, he listened to those sweet nursery-rhyme lyrics that Kristen was singing. 

She’d been perfectly obedient since they’d left Terlina III and apart from when she’d chattered to herself about everything and nothing, all she had done was sing those ripe, evocative words. He had no doubt at all that she was inspired by the view of the stars. Before he’d wiped her memory, space had been a familiar sight to her, but now it was all fresh and new.

‘ _In the dark blue sky you keep,  
And often through my curtains peep,  
For you never shut your eye  
'Till the sun is in the sky._

 _As your bright and tiny spark  
Lights the traveller in the dark,  
Though I know not what you are,  
Twinkle, twinkle, little star…_’

He hadn’t picked up anything worthy of consideration on the sensors and so far, he was sure that they were not being followed or traced. That didn’t mean that Lore wasn’t on-edge. Paranoia was tingling inside him and so was a certain type of fear. He let their craft drift ever further and then, when she began to sing her song again right from the start, he pushed a few buttons on the helm and allowed auto-pilot to take over, just for a while. 

Lore stood up and went to Kristen, helpless as to how fiercely drawn to her he was. 

Her crimson eyes lit up when she saw him coming and she stopped singing immediately. She knelt up and greeted him with a smile that brimmed with love and acceptance and attraction. He sat down by her side and when she rushed to him and wrapped her arms around his middle, he couldn’t help but smile.

‘I missed you,’ she said, nuzzling her face against his solar plexus, ‘did you miss me too?’

‘I always miss you when we’re apart,’ he told her, putting a hand to the side of her head and running his fingertips through her hair. ‘Not that we’re too far apart when you’re here and I’m at the helm. Are you so clingy that you can’t handle even such a slight distance between us?’

She beamed with happiness. ‘I need you…’

‘I know you do. I need you too. What have you been doing?’

‘Just singing… and thinking,’ she replied, sitting up. 

Lore stroked her face, ran his thumb over her jaw and then her lower lip. ‘And what were you thinking about?’

‘You and I. I love you…’

He took hold of her and pulled her onto his lap. She exalted in such affection, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pressed kisses to his cheeks and forehead and nose. Lore was amazed by how much he felt for her, even though it was nothing new. Whenever he gave her just the smallest glimpse of his attention, she came alive. Kristen quite literally lived for the moments when he focused on her and touched her and told her that she was precious. 

Lore had never, ever felt so needed and it was intoxicating. Being her keeper was a life purpose he’d never expected to be so fulfilling. 

_I won’t let anyone take you away from me, Kristen. Not now. Not ever._

Eager and passionate, she moved her kisses to his mouth and Lore accepted them greedily. He grasped her head and held it in place as their tongues explored and danced. Kristen moved her legs so that her ankles were crossed at his back and the more her thighs squeezed at him and the more she pressed her breasts to his chest, the more he felt the need to take her. 

He turned her over so that she was on her back and then he shifted so that he was knelt between her open legs and then he held her down so that he could kiss every inch of her décolletage and exposed stomach.

Kristen giggled and then she writhed beneath him. ‘I love you… do you love me?’

Lore smiled and then he mouthed over her naval and found the edge of her trousers. He bit onto that dark material and tugged at it with his teeth. If he failed to control himself soon, he’d rip those trousers right off her and show her pleasure that would surely drive her mad. 

She inhaled sharply and then she leaned up, as best she could. ‘Lore… my keeper…’

He used quick fingers to work open fastenings and then he was massaging her inner thighs and preparing to…

Red lights flashed and alarms screamed. 

Lore jerked his head up and sat up. 

Kristen was still writhing, totally indifferent to the panic that was flooding through his mind and heart. He pulled himself to his feet and when she looked up at him with questions in her eyes, all he could do was order her to hide herself in their bunk. Kristen was aroused and crazed but somehow she managed to tap into her engrained submissiveness and then she was shuffling and rushing herself into hiding beneath the covers like a kitten frightened by a thunderstorm. 

Lore raced through to the helm and when he saw that a ship was pursuing them he used his android dexterity to cloak the runabout and set them into warp. 

_The Enterprise… already?_

_This is my fault. I should have focused. I should have worked harder to protect us!_

He pushed their craft to maximum warp but the flagship Starfleet vessel was far faster and more powerful. The shuttle came to an all-stop. Enraged and frenzied, Lore worked the controls at lightspeed, trying to evade capture, but a tractor beam was fixed on them and then the helm was locked down and even retaliatory weapons were powered down.

‘ _Enterprise_ to shuttlecraft. Hold your station,’ a voice commanded.

Lore knew that voice. Captain Jean-Luc Picard. 

Kristen jumped off the bed and when she reached the helm, Lore looked to her. She was shivering with fear. He reached to her and she fell to her knees, resting her head on his lap. He covered her with his arms, trying to protect her. 

‘Identify yourself immediately,’ Picard snapped.

Lore gritted his teeth. ‘Go fuck yourself!’

‘Lore, you have no choice but to surrender. We’ve got you.’ That was Riker.

‘I’m scared!’ Kristen wailed. She lifted her face and Lore looked into her wide eyes, seeing the naked fear dancing within them. ‘Who are these people?! What do they want?!’

Lore ignored her and danced his fingers over the controls again.

_This is all my fault. If I hadn’t been so distracted… so fucking vulnerable… I could have had us out of here and far, far away… this is my fault!_

The controls were unresponsive. What else could he have expected?

‘Respond immediately!’ Picard roared.

Lore lifted his chin. ‘Shuttle to _Enterprise_ ,’ he said.

‘We’ve got you,’ Riker repeated.

‘Yeah, I figured that much…’

‘Lore, who have you got with you? Harper? Yates and Jijesh? Jones and Sarrott?’

‘Affirmative on the former… negative on the latter…’

Kristen was sobbing and shaking, so terrified she was. Lore felt himself turn numb. He entirely blamed himself for his distraction and how he’d allowed for their escape to turn into a capture. If only he’d been more focused… if only he’d kept his eye fixed on the bigger picture. Now, it was too late. His mindlessness had put them in this impossible situation and though he didn’t care what might happen to himself, he ached at the thought of Kristen being taken away from him. He lifted her head from his lap and kissed her face, her hair, her lips.

She was shaking hard. ‘Why is this happening?’ she asked.

He opened his mouth to reply but then they were frozen in blue light. The _Enterprise_ had locked onto them. Together, they were beamed away.

*

A room coalesced before her eyes and Kristen knelt there, shaking. Lore materialised opposite her, his arms still wrapped about her, his entire posture held in defiance and defence. The implants he had replaced her eyes with could see much better than human eyes and everything seemed painfully bright and in fine-tune. 

People she had never seen before, wearing strange uniforms, stepped up onto the transporter and she was grabbed. There was a cacophony of noise as all hell broke loose and the room began to spin. Kristen had no idea where she was or what was happening. She screamed when those grabbing hands pulled her away from Lore and she fought with all her might, kicking and clawing, until something cold was pressed to her neck. 

It made a hissing sound and then…

…the world went dark.

*

Worf, N’Dya and Data had combined their physical strength to seize Lore upon his materialisation and after a brief and nasty struggle wherein N’Dya had two of his fingers broken and Worf had been punched in the mouth, Data had managed to locate Lore’s off-switch and pressed it, rendering him instantly immobile. His brother hanging limply in his arms, he turned to look at Kristen so he could try to determine what kind of state she was in. 

He saw her… and felt an almighty wave of shock flood through his systems. 

She still had the same beautiful face, but she was thinner and… altered… in ways he could barely perceive upon first glance. Staring, not paying any attention as Worf took Lore from his grasp and slung him over one shoulder, he remained right where he was on the transporter pad as he watched the scene unfold. 

Kristen had ocular implants and part of her head had been shorn of hair in places. She had more synthetic implants, all fitted directly to the sides of her skull. The way she was screaming and lashing out was feral, as though she was no longer human and was some wild creature instead. It took some effort, but soon Doctor Crusher managed to sedate her and Kristen became unconscious. 

Three security Ensigns were standing to one side by then, sweating and panting in the aftermath. One was cradling a broken arm from where Kristen had lashed out at him and the others were wide-eyed where they stood and shaking. Everyone else present, more security staff and most of the bridge crew, looked about at one another wide-eyed. 

There was a long, uncomfortable silence.

Captain Picard stepped over, his eyes narrowed and determined. ‘Worf, take Lore to the brig and leave him there inactivated for the time being. N’Dya, please accompany him. I want maximum security protocols and extra support staff, if you will. I do not want you to take your eyes off him for even a moment,’

‘Aye, Captain,’ N’Dya said.

Worf turned then, Lore’s body still hanging over his shoulder. N’Dya went to him and they left the transporter room together, the doors closing behind them.

Data remained where he was, still staring at Kristen. Troi came over to him and put her hand on his arm in what he knew was yet another attempt at comfort. She did not speak and he was glad for that. He couldn’t have spoken even if ordered to. 

_What has Lore done to her? My beloved is no longer fully human. He has violated her. He has changed her. I no longer know or recognise what she is._

Doctor Crusher was crouched by Kristen’s body, running multiple checks with her tricorder and other devices. The Captain went over to her and stood there, looking down as he kept an eye on all she did. Everyone in the room was staring at Kristen, amazed by what she was now. Before she had been kidnapped, she had been a soft-hearted woman with a curvy figure. She’d had deep, brown eyes and a ready smile for anyone. All of them remembered her as a helpful and trusted member of the bridge crew, someone approachable and gentle and shy. 

Now… she was a shell of her former self that was human and also part-artificial. Her eyes were red due to the implants Lore had fitted and her hair was striped with shellshocked-white wherever it was not crudely shaven. The way she had fought, so feral, so angry, had unsettled everyone in the transporter room. Even the Captain appeared grey with discomfort.

Suddenly finding the ability to move and speak, Data gently slipped Troi’s hand from his arm and went over to where the Doctor and the Captain surrounded Kristen. ‘Doctor,’ he said, ‘what has Lore done to her?’

Beverly looked up, her blue eyes filled with sadness. ‘He has replaced a part of her brain with positronic networks. They have been successfully grafted and are fully operational. He has also replaced her eyes and…’ She looked down at her tricorder, apparently unable to maintain eye contact with him any longer. ‘Somehow he has managed to replace her arms and legs with artificial counterparts… and…’

Data thought he might faint, if he were human. To behold what Kristen had been through at the hands of his brother was more than he could take. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes.

‘Data,’ the Captain said.

He opened his eyes again. Anger was welling up inside him and burning, hot and white. He felt like he might explode. ‘Sir?’

‘Switch off your emotion chip immediately. That is an order.’

Kristen had always told him never to do that. He hated to do it, but Data knew he had no choice. Tilting his head a little, he did as he was told and deactivated the chip with a subtle yet audible bleep. At once he was greeted with calmness but of course he could feel no relief at the feeling. Instead, purposefulness took over and he came to crouch at Doctor Crusher’s side. Kristen’s open eyes were gleaming, bright red and yet unconscious. 

‘Shall we re-locate her to sickbay?’ he asked.

‘Yes. Lift her up, Data. You’ll get her there faster than any of my staff. Come on,’ she replied.

He leaned forward a little and put one arm under her legs, gathering her body against his. She was so thin now. He put his other arm around her back and then lifted her up with ease. Data remembered previous times he had lifted her like this, when she had fallen asleep in their quarters and he had taken her to bed or even times when he’d carried her there for purposes other than sleep. Then, she had weighed exactly 27.4 pounds more than she did now. 

He was sure that if his emotion chip was still switched on, he would feel an assortment of negative feelings at the realisation. Lore had abused her, he had starved her, he had tortured her, and now she was no longer the Kristen he knew. Data processed thousands of emotionless thoughts about it all as he carried her to sickbay. Captain Picard and Captain Riker walked ahead, talking amongst themselves, and Crusher and Troi walked behind. The other officers had left to go back to their usual security stations.

In sickbay, Data lay Kristen down very gently on a medi-bed. Crusher alerted some of her staff to the situation and then she returned to the bed and began to do more tests. Kristen was given supplements to boost her immune system and to replace some of the nutrients she was missing and then her new eyes and limbs were put through a series of diagnostics. Crusher was silent as she worked and as Data stood there and watched, the others were silent too. 

By the time the test results were back, Kristen was covered by a blanket and in the recovery position. As Crusher talked, Data couldn’t help but stare at where she lay. Emotionless or not, he still could not tear his eyes from her and from all that Lore had done. 

_My beloved…_

‘It seems that what Lore has done to Kristen is permanent,’ Crusher said to him, ‘the implants, if removed, could send her into shock so deep she could die of instant neural collapse and heart failure. She needs those implants now. To extrapolate them would be like someone performing brain surgery on me and taking away huge sections of grey matter. I am quite sure Lore meant it to be that way, too. I have no idea what these ocular implants work… if she can see or if she’s blind… we’ll have to wait until she wakes up to find out the worst of it and then try and form some sort of rehabilitation.’

Troi looked up at Riker. Riker was looking at the Captain. ‘I suggest we leave, then,’ Picard said, ‘Beverly, please alert me the moment she regains consciousness. If anyone here understands at least a fraction of what she’s going through right now, it’s me.’

This much was true. Data looked to him, relieving briefly when the Captain had been made part-Borg. _Locutus._ It had taken him many years to truly move on from the experience. What would it be like for Kristen? Her cybernetic elements could not ever be removed. 

‘Of course,’ Crusher replied, ‘I’ll stay with her,’

‘Permission to remain here also, Sir?’ Data said.

Picard considered him. ‘Leave your emotion chip switched off,’ he advised, ‘should you reactivate it right now, I expect you will make your way to the brig immediately and destroy Lore before we have the chance to question him about the other missing officers or try him for his crimes. Remain as you are, Data, and do not be tempted to feel. We need you controlled and professional right now, not fuelled by vengeance and personal vendettas.’

Those seemed like harsh words, but Data understood them completely. He nodded.

‘Captain,’ Troi said, ‘Data will have to feel this eventually. Give us some time to care for Kristen and integrate her back into a sense of normalcy and then let him re-activate the chip?’

‘Agreed,’ Picard said, with a curt nod.

The others left and Data stood there, watching Kristen. She truly was a ghost of what she’d been before. Those red eyes she had held none of her personality, even though she remained unconscious. The blue lights that danced on her head were sending out coded patterns he recognised – they were almost identical to the sensors that he had and Lore had. Data thought of when Lore had manipulated him, when he’d performed surgeries on Geordi. 

All of this echoed back and back and Data realised that Lore had been successful with his experiments this time. His evil had come to fruition. He’d created an entirely new lifeform. He’d melded his maniacal dreams into physical reality and Kristen had paid the price.

Crusher, sensing somehow that a moment was needed, went to re-read some of the diagnostic results at her office terminal and Data watched her go. He looked for a seat then and found one. He dragged one over from the wall and sat down upon it, glad that they could be alone for a few moments. 

One of Kristen’s hands was by her tear-streaked face, but the other was limp by her side. He saw that the engagement ring she’d accepted from him was gone. It wasn’t a great surprise but definitely worth noting. Gently, he took her left hand and laced his fingers between hers. She was warm and her hand felt like it always had before they’d been parted. He wondered what the shock of these tortures must have done to her mentally. The implants, the cybernetic eyes, the limb replacements… and all at the hands of his twin brother, someone who looked _exactly_ like he did.

Crusher returned after a time. ‘When I treated Jean-Luc after the battle at Wolf 359, removing his Borg implants and replacing his arm with an organic replacement, I hoped I’d never have to do anything like that again,’ she said, ‘he suffered in so many ways when the Borg transformed him and only Deanna and I knew how much. Some of his scars healed and some I think will always be there. I don’t know how Kristen will be when she wakes up, but I already know I have my work cut out for me and so do you,’

‘Yes…’

‘I can’t remove these implants, Data. If I try, Kristen won’t make it. She’ll die. I’m so sorry.’

Data filed away that information, knowing it would cause him enormous grief when his emotion chip was activated again. ‘It is not your fault, therefore there is no need for you to apologise, Doctor,’ he replied.

Crusher looked down at Kristen and her eyes fixed upon her, gazing for quite some time. ‘I can only imagine what she’s been through,’ she said, almost to herself, ‘Lore has truly outdone himself this time. What he did to those rogue Borg was child’s play compared to this,’

‘Agreed,’ Data said. He couldn’t think of any other way to reply.

‘She’s neither human nor android. She’s a cyborg…’

‘Affirmative. There is no other way to describe her current form,’

‘I don’t understand why she was clinging to Lore. Could he have broken her down _that_ much?’

‘I do not know but it seems likely. She is no longer wearing her engagement ring,’

‘Oh, Data… you’re right. I’m so sorry…’

They fell silent then, wondering at this new and thoroughly-violated version of Lieutenant Kristen Harper. She was _not_ who she had been before and following all she had been through at Lore’s hands, she likely would never again be her old self. 

Data stayed there until Crusher had been visited by those injured in the transporter room and when she had patched them up and healed them, she gifted him with a few more words of gentle sympathy and then she turned in for the night. Data was still there some seven hours later, when she returned for the morning shift, holding Kristen’s hand in his and watching her sleep. Neither of them had moved at all.

Crusher came to his side and put her hand on his shoulder. ‘Good morning, Data,’ she said.

‘Doctor,’ he greeted, glancing her way.

‘Is she still stable?’

‘Yes,’ he said.

‘Commander Data, I want you in the observation lounge in ten minutes,’ the Captain announced, cutting into their conversation via the intercom.

Data tapped his comm badge. ‘Aye, Sir. I am on my way.’

He stood then, knowing he needed to break his vigil, and let go of Kristen’s hand. Crusher began talking to him and though he listened at first, he soon felt something that distracted him immediately. His hand was being grasped and when he looked down, he saw that Kristen had awakened and was pulling at him. Turning, he let his mouth fall open in surprise. 

At once, Crusher went to the other side of the medi-bed and put her hands to Kristen’s shoulders. ‘Lie down,’ she soothed, ‘try to relax, Kristen…’

Data watched as Kristen looked around herself, totally disorientated. Her head seemed to wobble at times as her breathing came faster, uneven and hard for her to manage. ‘Where am I?’ she managed, ‘this is not the lab or our ship… where have you taken me?’

‘You are on the _Enterprise_ ,’ Data said, coming closer and gently squeezing her hand in his in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, ‘we found you, Kristen. We rescued you. You are home now and safe.’

She seemed to focus suddenly, the eerie blood-redness of her eyes becoming sharper. Her pupils dilated and then enlarged. ‘Where is Lore?’ she asked.

Data was confused. He moved so that he was at eye-level with her. ‘Kristen, no-one will hurt you, now. You are home again and not in any danger,’

‘ _Please_ ,’ she begged, sitting up more, ‘where is Lore? You’re not Lore…’

‘No, I am not Lore,’ he said to her, ‘you have nothing to fear, Kristen. I am Data,’

‘I need Lore! You have to take me to him now!’ she cried. 

At that, she was scrabbling to get up. Tears leaked from her eyes and fear took her over completely. She was hysterical and Data was unsettled by it all greatly, unemotional or not. He managed to hold her in his arms so that she couldn’t launch herself off the bed and escape and only then did he realise how much stronger she was now. She was not as strong as himself or Lore, but she was capable of far more than when she’d been human. It was an effort to effectively restrain her.

Crusher sedated her again. Kristen continued to struggle as she moaned for help and to be returned to her captor and then her eyes rolled back in her head and she became limp. 

Data lay her down on her back on the medi-bed, straightened his uniform and found himself stepping backwards, retreating from the chaos and confusion.

‘I don’t know what… I mean, I just… I can’t and I don’t…’ Crusher said, one hand pressed to her heart in shock.

‘I will return when I can,’ Data said to her.

She opened her mouth to try once more to speak coherently, but even with his chip deactivated he found he couldn’t remain there for even another moment. Data left sickbay and strode down the corridor until he was in a turbolift. When the doors closed and he was asked where he wanted to be taken, Data murmured that he needed to go to the observation lounge.

On auto-pilot, he managed to get to his colleagues and when he entered the room he saw that everyone around the table seemed to be waiting for him. He took a seat and realised that though he should be giving a report, he was completely at a loss for what to say. It was rare indeed that Data found it difficult to express himself verbally but on this occasion, he was genuinely dumbfounded.

‘Has Lieutenant Harper regained consciousness?’ Captain Picard asked, with a careful tone.

‘Yes,’ Data replied.

Picard waited for more information and when none came, he and Riker exchanged a look. ‘What did she say? Do?’ Riker prompted.

‘She panicked and I had to physically restrain her. She asked to be returned to Lore. Doctor Crusher gave her another sedative and then she passed out again,’ Data replied.

Troi put a hand to her mouth. ‘She asked to be returned to Lore?’

Data nodded. ‘Yes, Counselor.’

Her expression was shocked. ‘Well… clearly we can diagnose her with Stockholm Syndrome,’ she said.

‘Stockholm Syndrome?’ Data asked.

‘It is a psychological phenomenon that also goes by the name of ‘capture bonding’. Hostages can develop strong feelings of attachment and neediness towards those who have kidnapped and tortured them,’ Troi supplied, ‘the feelings are entirely irrational and inappropriate but must be taken seriously all the same. Extreme abuse can play with one’s emotions in all manner of ways and a form of that is for a victim to feel sympathy or even love for the one who has hurt them.’

Data watched her impassively. 

‘We can certainly help her with that,’ Picard said, ‘when she has awakened once more, we need to explain to her that she has been put through an extraordinary amount of stress and as such, her feelings are not as reliable as they appear to be,’

‘It won’t be as simple as that,’ Troi replied, ‘Stockholm Syndrome is not straightforward at all.’

Data looked to the Captain then. ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘I do not believe that this diagnosis is accurate.’

Picard frowned. ‘Why do you say that, Number One?’

‘Because Kristen did not recognise me at all. She had no idea where she was. I believe that her memories might have been completely erased,’ Data informed.

Picard sat back in his chair then and his frown deepened even more. ‘The plot thickens,’ he said.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : All feedback appreciated! xxx


	26. Prisoners

Captains Picard and Riker led the meeting in the observation lounge for the rest of the morning until a few ideas had been agreed upon concretely. The main priorities were to find out what had happened to Yates, Jijesh, Jones and Sarrott and to try and get Harper to eat something and cope with being conscious without going into meltdown. To get the truth about the missing officers, Lore would need to be reactivated and that much was proving to be a difficult thing to consider.

‘I think all of us here know what will happen if we switch Lore back on. He has the strength and mental dexterity to take over the ship within minutes,’ N’Dya said.

Picard nodded. ‘Yes, we will have to incapacitate him. LaForge, what would you suggest as the best course of action?’

The Chief Engineer had joined the meeting by then. He had been keeping a watchful eye on Data but upon being addressed he looked up. ‘There are a few options, Captain,’ he replied, ‘we could detach his head or at least temporarily sever the connections between his head and body to limit his mobility whilst we talk to him. We could take him to the holodeck and ask for the controls there to bind him. If the holodeck can create holonovel adversaries powerful enough to defeat Data then they can definitely create restraints strong enough to keep Lore still,’ 

‘Yes,’ Picard agreed.

‘Or… we could ask Data to link in with him via an interface cable and-’

‘No,’ Data cut in. 

Picard looked to him. ‘Number One, what LaForge is suggesting is not a terribly bad idea. If you were to link in with Lore, you might be privy to details, information, memories… a great deal of facts that would aid this investigation.’

Data shook his head. ‘No. I believe that the holodeck is the correct choice. I do not wish to be linked to him in any way,’ he said.

‘Did you re-activate your emotion chip? You look troubled,’

‘My chip is switched off. I would not disobey a direct order, Sir,’ Data replied.

Picard watched his First Officer for a long moment and then he turned and made eye contact with Troi. She had been an indispensable friend and Counselor to him over the years and as such they were capable of communicating with only subtle facial expressions when the need arose. She read the look in his eyes - _is he telling the truth? Is the chip still inactive?_ \- and she read it perfectly. Troi nodded to him in the affirmative and at that Picard felt himself relax somewhat. 

He truly did not like the thought of what Data might do to Lore if he was able to feel. It did not bode well at all.

‘Alright,’ Riker said, ‘the holodeck it is. I suggest that we take Lore there immediately and do what we can to make him talk. That done, we can pay sickbay a visit and see if Doctor Crusher has had any luck with Harper,’

‘Kristen too will need to be restrained,’ Data said. 

Everyone turned to look at him. 

‘Yes, we witnessed some of her superhuman strength in the transporter room yesterday,’ N’Dya said, ‘she broke a few bones during the struggle.’ He flexed his hand. Two of his fingers had been snapped, but they were now mended thanks to Crusher’s expertise.

‘When she was panicking about Lore’s absence, even I found it a sincere effort to keep her from escaping,’ Data added, ‘she could take down anyone on this ship with minimal effort… anyone but myself or Lore.’

Picard mused over that. ‘I understand, Number One. We will deal with Lore first and then we will make a decision on how we’ll approach Lieutenant Harper and the best way with which to communicate with and console her. N’Dya and Worf, please head to the brig immediately, fetch Lore and then bring him to holodeck four. The rest of us will meet you there.’

The two officers stood and went to their task immediately. 

Troi watched them go and then looked back to the Captain. ‘Sir, I believe that an interrogation might be better handled by yourself and Will at this stage,’ she suggested.

Picard couldn’t agree more. ‘Yes. I would like you there too, however,’ he replied, ‘your Empathy will come in very useful. We all know what a con artist Lore is. You’ll see straight through his inevitable lies and bravado. You being present will be of high advantage.’

She gave him a weak smile. ‘That’s fine, Captain. I’m happy to help in any way I can.’

It seemed the meeting was truly over then. Picard stood, tugging his uniform tunic into place and then he looked to Data and LaForge. ‘You two will cover the bridge. Should an emergency in sickbay arise, please contact us on the holodeck and let us know the situation.’

LaForge stood and then Data did too. They nodded to their Captain and then left the observation lounge, the doors hushing closed behind them.

‘I could have sworn he’d turned the emotion chip back on,’ Picard said.

Riker glanced toward the doorway. ‘The same thought occurred to me,’ he replied.

‘It’s definitely switched off but… even before he had it fitted, even when he insisted for years that he was completely incapable of feeling anything, we all know that Data had his own way of articulating certain situations. We’ve all seen him driven to distraction by mysteries or utterly devoted to rescuing his friends, ourselves included, from time to time. We’ve seen him form attachments; to us, to acquaintances, to Spot. Just because he isn’t shaking with anger or crying with grief, it doesn’t mean that Data isn’t processing the shock of all this. He’s just doing it in the way he used to before he was given the ability to react with more obvious emotion,’ Troi supplied.

Picard took that in. ‘Yes, you’re right.’

Riker nodded too. ‘I’m glad that’s what’s happening here because when he does turn that chip back on, he’s going to be faced with a literal nightmare. I don’t give a damn that he’s an android or that some people might think his feelings are artificial – they’re not. He’s going to be angry, depressed, desperate, vengeful… I hope you’re going to be handle him, Deanna, because Kristen sure as hell can’t counsel him anymore.’

Troi’s eyes darkened with sadness. ‘Yes, I know… it’s terrible…’

‘Let’s turn our attention to Lore now,’ Picard said, heading over to the doors, ‘we’ll tend to Harper when we’ve found out the truth about the others. I for one definitely need to know where Yates and the others are and I’m sure their families would concur,’

‘I doubt very much they’re alive,’ Riker said.

The three of them left the observation lounge and headed down the corridor together.

‘I doubt that too,’ Picard conceded.

*

Lore opened as his eyes and the first thing he saw was the black and yellow gridding of a holodeck. He cast his gaze to the ceiling and then he dropped it again, realising that he was being intensely observed by a group of familiar faces. Captain Picard, Riker, Troi, Worf and some other guy he wasn’t familiar with. Data was absent. Kristen wasn’t there either. 

He tried to move his arms but they were trapped at either side of his head. His legs were trapped too, as was his torso. He could move his head, but that was it.

‘Lore,’ Picard said, stepping closer, ‘there is no point in trying to escape. We have you trapped and that is not going to change any time soon. Turn your attention to the things you’ve done. It’s time for you to talk.’

Taking that in, Lore feigned indifference. ‘Fine, we’ll talk,’ he said, ‘how’s it going? Read any good books lately?’

‘Your flippancy is juvenile,’ Riker snapped, ‘you are in a world of trouble, my friend. If I were you, I’d co-operate and tell us everything we want to know. Right now,’

‘I’m quite touched that you’re referring to me as a friend, Riker. I wish I could extend the same courtesy but I’m afraid I don’t carry any warmth for you at all. It has been a while though, hasn’t it?’

‘It has,’ Riker agreed, ‘the last time any of us saw you, you were forcibly dismantled because of all you did on Ohniaka III. You manipulated Data, you performed grotesque surgeries on the Borg and-’

‘Old news,’ Lore snapped, ‘you’re boring me. Surely you didn’t string me up here just to talk about the past? What do you _really_ want to know?’

Picard came to stand right in front of me. ‘We’ve already seen what you’ve done to Lieutenant Harper. Even by your standards, these crimes are abhorrent. How could you? She’s mentally wrecked and lost a considerable proportion of her body weight. How could you sever her limbs and replace them with cybernetic equivalents? How could you remove her eyes?’

Lore smiled a thin smile. ‘I could never expect a fragile, weak-minded organic being such as yourself to possibly understand my motivations,’

‘Your sole motivation is to get back at Data,’ Picard said, ‘you’ve made that patently obvious. Why else would you choose Harper?’

_Where is she? Please let her be okay. Please let her be okay._

‘Where are the others?’ Riker snarled, anger flashing in his eyes, ‘we scanned Terlina III for lifeforms and there was nothing there. What did you do with them?’

‘You should have been able to work that out already,’ Lore said, in a tone that pretended to be a drawl when really it was underscored by frustration, ‘consider what I did on Ohniaka III and then apply that knowledge to what Kristen has become. Put two and two together. Surely you can push your feeble brains just a little? I thought you were supposed to be intelligent,’

‘So you tested on them first?’ Picard asked.

‘Yes, obviously,’

‘And they’re dead,’ Riker assumed.

‘Dead and buried, I’m afraid. The same can be said for Ria. If you had done a thorough investigation, you would have found their graves on the site of my Father’s laboratory. I didn’t attempt to hide them,’ Lore replied.

Picard looked to Worf. ‘Commander, I want you to return to your quarters and compile the usual correspondence to be delivered to the families of the deceased. Do not send them until I’ve had the chance to approve them first,’

‘Yes Sir,’ Worf said, his expression tense. He left the holodeck immediately.

Troi moved over then. She came quite close to Lore and when she looked into his eyes, he knew she was reading him, as she was wont to do. Lore hated that he was being scanned by her and that he had no way to close off his feelings. He hated Betazoids. The last thing he wanted was for her to pick up on the more complicated turns of his more recent distractions. He didn’t want her to look into his heart and yet he had no way to protect it. 

Her face was serious at first, as she concentrated, and then it became deeply perturbed. ‘Oh…’

‘What is it?’ the Captain asked her.

‘He’s frightened,’ she said, ‘and he’s desperate to know where Harper is. He’s attached to her… he cares for her… he’s worried about her safety and wellbeing.’

Lore gritted his teeth. ‘This is a violation. Picard, will you tell her to desist?’

‘No, I most certainly will not,’ Picard bit, ‘and who are you to talk of violations?! You kidnapped five members of my crew and after murdering four of them in the pursuit of your thirst for torture and desire to meld man and machine, you did things to Kristen Harper than can never be reversed!’ 

‘Yeah, I know,’

‘Her positronic grafts are irremovable and even if Doctor Crusher tried her hardest to rehabilitate her, she would die! How _dare_ you talk of violations!’

Anger increasing, overriding the fear, Lore struggled against the straps that held him to the wall. He wanted to break free so he could grab Picard and rip out his guts. ‘Like I’ve never been violated!’ he roared in response, ‘you beamed me into space and left me drifting there for two years! You dismantled me and you shoved me in a box and when Data’s legs were injured, you used my body for spare parts! You stole my fucking legs, Picard! Are you telling me _that_ isn’t a violation?!’

The guy that Lore didn’t recognise came to stand at his side. ‘Sir, do you want me to switch him off again?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, switch me off!’ Lore shouted, ‘switch me on, switch me off, switch me on again! Take me to pieces, put me back together! It doesn’t matter, does it? Because I’m not a real person with feelings and memories and opinions, am I? No! I’m just an android! I’m just a thing! My only worth is what I can do; how strong I am, how many operations I can compute per second, how long I’ll live, how fast I can move! I’m a doll, a mannequin, a fucking marionette! How can YOU talk of violations, Picard? How can YOU throw injustice at me when even at this moment you’re treating me like a box of circuits instead of a sentient individual who aches and hurts and feels fear?!’

‘Now, wait just a minute-’ Riker tried to interrupt.

‘Your buried me in a BOX like I was DEAD! You even took the trouble to erect a gravestone there! Do you think I didn’t see that when Ria put me back together?! In what universe is it morally correct to bury a man who is unconscious instead of dead?!’

Picard looked to the others, his face struggling to decide on a distinct expression.

‘I’m done!’ Lore shouted, ‘switch me off! Switch me off _right now!_ ’

Dazed by the emotion in the air, Troi grasped Riker’s arm. Riker covered her hand with his own. ‘Sir, I would do as he’s asking,’ she advised.

Picard was confused as much as he was infuriated. ‘What… why, Counselor?’ he said.

‘He’s on the verge of a meltdown. He’s working through emotions he has never truly tapped into before. He’s held some of this inside for years but the emotion… the feelings… they’re too much for him. If you don’t shut him off, it could be extremely dangerous,’ she said.

 _‘TURN ME OFF!’_ Lore yelled.

Picard nodded. Lore scanned his eyes around the room, panting with so much vitriol that he could hardly process it, and then he felt fingers touch the switch at his lower back.

There was a tell-tale clicking sound and then everything went dark.

*

Troi was frozen where she stood. Her eyes were fixed on Lore and though he was silent and motionless now, the things he’d yelled at them all were still ringing in her ears. The holodeck throbbed with silence for several long moments and then she finally managed to peel herself away from Riker’s side so she could approach Picard. 

‘I didn’t realise he was capable of such emotion,’ he said to her, his tone quietened, ‘of course, I have been aware for a long time that Lore had his chip fitted right from his initial activation but the only feelings I witnessed him express were connected to ambition. What have we just witnessed?’

‘A side to him we didn’t expect to see,’ Troi replied, ‘Captain… there were even deeper feelings in there than the ones he was shouting at you. He really was genuinely worried about Kristen.’

Riker laughed, bitterly so. ‘No offence, Deanna, but are we supposed to care about that after everything he’s done?’

She looked to him. ‘That’s not what I’m insinuating at all. I’m not coming at this from a personal direction and nor am I trying to justify him or his feelings, I’m simply analysing him from a psychological standpoint and telling you what I could sense,’ 

‘Okay, I trust your objectivity. You know that. What are you thinking?’ Riker put to her.

‘Lore might have captured Harper and the others initially with the intent to harm them and get back at Data, but he’s in a different place now. We angered him by bringing up the topic of violation but underneath the rage, he was also terrified and desperate to be with Kristen. He does care for her. It might be wrong or even an example of Lima Syndrome-’

‘Is that when Stockholm Syndrome is reversed?’ Picard asked.

‘Yes, that’s it precisely. Lore’s feelings might be wrong or misguided but he definitely cares for her. When we realised he’d taken her from Terlina III and when he tried to escape in the runabout, I don’t think it had anything to do with Data or anyone else. He just wanted to be with her. He wanted for them to be together. He’s… formed a need for her… just as it seems she has formed one for him,’ Troi finished.

Picard and Riker considered her with a mixture of non-comprehension and disbelief. 

‘They’re hardly Romeo and Juliet,’ N’Dya said in a cynical tone, approaching them with his arms folded, ‘and I really don’t care how sentimental they are about each other. Lore is a murderer and Harper belongs here, with us. She’s a Starfleet officer.’

‘Not anymore,’ Troi said, looking his way, ‘Ben, she’s never going to be the Kristen we used to know. As Data has told us, she has no memory of ever being here. She’s no more a Starfleet officer now than I’m a Terkalian cat.’

Riker sighed and rubbed his face. ‘Can we take this to TenForward? I need a drink.’

Picard nodded. ‘Yes, good idea. N’Dya, please guard the outside of this holodeck and ensure that nobody comes in here.’

‘Sir.’ N’Dya nodded.

Troi moved with the two Captains until they were leaving the room and then they were on their way to the ship’s bar. So much had happened in such a short space of time and Troi was completely exhausted on so many levels. She had thought the situation to be a nightmare right from the moment she’d realised that the ‘child psychology conferences’ were a ruse, but at this stage she was more overwhelmed than ever.

_The rest of the psychology staff on this ship are dead and Harper isn’t Harper anymore. This is all on my shoulders. I need to get a grip and fast._

As soon as they were seated and their order had been taken, she rested her arms on the table and ran her hands through her hair. Then she straightened and looked to the others.

‘I rather hoped that seeing you both again would be under much finer circumstances,’ Picard said.

‘Agreed,’ Riker replied, ‘we’re pretty much done with the plans for our weddings on earth and Betazed. I hoped when we saw you and the others, it would be for those occasions, not something like this…’

‘Well, like it or not we’re in the eye of the storm right now,’ Troi told them, ‘this is far from the worst of it. We’re going to have to decide what we’re going to do with Lore and we’re also going to have to figure out a way to treat Kristen. How am I supposed to counsel her? I don’t know her now. I’m a stranger to her and to me, she’s… well, she’s…’ Her words trailed off. 

‘Once I became myself again after being Locutus, you did a fine job when counselling me,’ Picard said to her, ‘the journey I went through when you rescued me from the Borg was a tough and an arduous one but you were there constantly and I will never forget it,’

‘I believe that time you spent with your family back in France was much more beneficial to you than I ever was,’ Troi said. Then she instantly regretted those words because she knew that the family she’d mentioned were no longer alive. They had perished in a fire a few years ago.

Picard gave her a slow nod, no offence at all in his eyes even though he had likely picked up on her track of thought. ‘You were a wonderful friend and confidante and you still are,’ he assured her, ‘and I have no doubts whatsoever that you will help Harper. You are a gifted Counselor, Deanna. If you can’t help her, then I sincerely believe that no-one can.’

Troi sighed. ‘I hope so. I’m going to do my best. I have to.’

Riker rested an arm around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. ‘And all of us will try to be there for Data. He’s going to need it when he turns that chip back on.’

‘Yes,’ Picard agreed, ‘all of this is going to be too much for him to take.’

 _But what about Lore?_ Troi wondered, _who will be there for him in this time of terror, heartbreak and crisis?_

And then she chided herself internally for having a heart that was sometimes far, far too big for its own good.

*

Commander LaForge sat by Data’s side on the bridge and wished he knew what to say to his best friend. He’d assured him repeatedly during Harper’s absence that she’d be home soon and that everything would be absolutely fine, but it seemed that Data had developed some sort of sixth sense for he’d known something wasn’t right even from the beginning. Geordi felt bad for all the times he’d thought that Data was lovesick instead of intuiting danger. He felt terrible for not even looking into the situation, just to be completely thorough and supportive.

He wished that he could perform the impossible – that he could go to sickbay and use what he knew about cybernetics to help Doctor Crusher turn Harper back into the woman she used to be. But it had been made perfectly clear that no amount of surgery could change what Harper was. Crusher had worked hard already to make certain of that and when she stated a fact, it was a fact. Kristen was a cyborg now, not a human woman. She had no idea where she was or who Data was.

 _I couldn’t handle that,_ Geordi thought, _how could anyone handle that? Four weeks ago they’d just got engaged and now she’s a cyborg with blood-red eyes and superhuman strength. She’s been tortured and starved and altered and when she’s conscious, she wants Lore. How will Data process this? Even I can’t process it. I can’t believe this is happening at all._

_Fate is cruel sometimes. Too damned cruel._

Worf stepped onto the bridge and then came to stand nearby. ‘The interrogation has revealed that the missing officers are dead,’ he reported.

Data looked up at him. ‘That is most unfortunate,’ he replied.

‘They are buried on Terlina III. I have prepared correspondence to be sent to the families and once the Captain has reviewed them, they will learn the truth,’

‘What a horrible way to go,’ Geordi said, his heart sinking.

‘It was not dishonourable,’ Worf replied, a Klingon to the last, ‘the families will know that their loved ones perished in the line of duty and that they undoubtedly did not surrender easily to their captor. I remember Yates, Jijesh, Jones and Sarrott. I liked them. They were strong and competent officers. Their memories will live on.’

Data nodded. ‘Thank you, Worf. You may take your position.’

Worf watched him for a second and then he went to take his seat at Ops. LaForge was struck by thoughts of the loved ones of the dead and the changed then and he leaned closer to Data. ‘How are you going to break the news to Kristen’s family?’ he asked, the question out of his mouth before he could hold it back, ‘what are you going to say?’

‘I have not considered that as of yet,’ Data replied, looking his way, ‘I am only in direct contact with her brother and as Robert made me swear that I would always take care of Kristen and make sure she was safe, it is likely that he will hold me responsible for this tragedy… as well he should.’

LaForge flinched. ‘Don’t blame yourself. God, Data… the only person responsible for this is Lore, not you,’

‘I should not have let her leave the ship,’

‘Lore should not have set up whatever trap he left for her and the others on Deep Space 9. Lore should not have worked with whoever was sending those messages so he could kidnap her and do what he did to her,’

‘I should have protected her. I should have acted immediately when she refused a video-link,’ 

‘You’re _not_ to blame. I hope you’re listening to me,’ LaForge insisted.

Data frowned. ‘It is impossible for me to not listen to you. You are sitting right next to me,’

‘You _know_ what I mean,’ LaForge said.

Unable to argue, Data cast his gaze to the viewscreen and just stared at it. LaForge watched him, deeply concerned.

*

There was another meeting in the observation lounge during the afternoon. It was decided that the Captain and some others he’d chosen would visit Harper in sickbay and that Crusher would bring her to wakefulness again so that they could attempt to converse with her. 

Due to the fact that N’Dya and Worf did not stand a chance of restraining Kristen, Data had agreed to wait outside of the room so that he could be called in, should the need arise. He had expressed the fact that he would rather not have to be the one to shoulder such a responsibility but Picard had spoken to him in private and reminded him that he was the only one who could help. If she was unrestrained in a panic and managed to escape, she could go anywhere and potentially do anything.

‘I need you on this,’ Picard had told him, ‘and don’t think for one moment that I don’t know how hard this will be for you. Even with your chip deactivated, seeing her in the state she’s in now is horrific and will only add to your troubles when you switch it back on. Still, I have no-one else to ask. If Worf could hold her down without risking serious injury, he would have been my first choice. He cannot overpower her, Data. That’s why I need you.’

Data nodded. ‘I will perform my duties as expected, Sir,’ he had replied.

Picard had given him a level look. ‘We are all here for you,’ he said.

‘I know. Thank you, Captain. It is appreciated.’

They went to meet with the others on the bridge. 

‘Shall we go?’ Riker asked.

‘We have to,’ Troi replied, ‘but we’re going to have to stick to the story as planned. If she thinks we’re holding Lore against his will, she’s going to be a real handful.’

Data felt nothing and yet he felt… something. He was confused and as bewildered as he possibly could be, given his complete removal from human feeling. He realised his colleagues were still talking as they all headed to the turbolift and so he motivated himself at once and joined them. They discussed their plan all the way to sickbay and when they arrived, they went on in there immediately. 

Picard waited for Data to stand outside the door and then he gave him a brief pat on the shoulder. ‘Be ready,’ he said.

‘I will not let you down, Sir,’ Data told him.

‘I know you won’t. We’re going to help her if it’s the last thing we do,’ Picard promised, and then he too went through the doors.

Data watched him go and then he looked down at the carpet beneath him, wishing he was anywhere else in the universe but where he was at that moment.

*

It was evening-time when Harper once again regained consciousness. She opened her eyes and when she found a face watching over her and saw it wasn’t Lore; she felt pain erupt in her heart. Sitting up, she looked all about herself to see if he was standing elsewhere and upon realising he wasn’t in the room at all, her eyes prickled with panicked tears. The woman who had been watching her, the beautiful one with the red hair and a kind gaze, came to stand right in front of her.

‘Where is he?’ Kristen asked, one tear rolling down her cheek.

‘Do you mean Lore?’ the woman put to her, in a gentle tone.

‘Yes. Where have you taken him?’

‘He’s resting at the moment. He has asked me to tell you to be calm and wait for him here,’ she said, ‘my name is Doctor Beverly Crusher. I’m not here to hurt you or scare you.’

Kristen wanted to trust her but she was unsure. She moved backwards on the medi-bed and then she hopped up into a defensive crouching position. Her eyes examined the woman and she even looked inside her, saw her bones and her blood cells. Breathing picking up as panic sank into her, Kristen looked away from the Doctor and then she saw that others were standing nearby. She recognised them from the transporter room. 

There was a balding one with a serious face, a taller one with a beard and another woman who had flowing hair and fine bone structure. Her eyes were dark and her gaze was filled with concern.

‘What do you want from me?’ Kristen asked, ‘you need to take me to Lore. I have to be with him. I have to be with him!’

The balding one approached her and Kristen hissed, holding an arm up over her face.

‘You do not need to be afraid of us, we mean you no harm,’ he said. 

‘Keeping me from Lore is harmful for both of us. I have to be with him!’ she cried.

‘At the moment, you need to calm yourself down and take a seat,’ the Doctor replied, offering her a hand.

Kristen was so scared that she considered biting that hand. ‘I do what Lore tells me to do… I do what he says and I do it when he tells me to,’ she said.

The people watching her exchanged looks. They appeared to be uncomfortable with what she’d said. Also uncomfortable, Kristen jumped down from the medi-bed. She held her hands up in front of her as she backed away. Internal sensors were screaming and she was trying to locate where Lore might be. For some reason, she couldn’t reach him on the subliminal level he’d taught her to use. 

Was he dead? Had they killed him?

Her back hit another medi-bed and so she turned and climbed onto it. There was a tray of medical implements and she seized one of them, no idea what it was but prepared to use it as a blunt weapon if she had to. 

‘Kristen,’ the dark-haired woman said, ‘nobody here is going to hurt you. Put the dermal regenerator down, take some deep breaths and just listen to what we have to say,’

‘Why should I? You’re not listening to me,’ Kristen shot back, more tears rolling down her face, ‘why have you taken Lore and I as prisoners? We’re not prisoners… we haven’t done anything wrong! We live in the lab and… he was taking me away for a holiday… why did you capture us?!’

‘A holiday?’ the balding one said, as an aside to the one with the beard.

‘I know,’ the bearded one replied, ‘it’s disturbing.’

Kristen hissed again. ‘I can hear what you’re saying!’ she cried, ‘and I don’t trust any of you. If you don’t take me to Lore right now then I’ll go find him myself!’

The two men approached her and so she jumped to her feet and let her instincts kick in. When the taller one reached for her, she backhanded his arm and he was sent stumbling backwards. He winced with pain and the Doctor moved to him at once, no doubt trying to help him. 

Undeterred, Kristen glared at the balding one and when he moved to try and grab the item she was brandishing, she wrapped her hand around his wrist and twisted it hard until there was a tell-tale crunching sound. He yelped but still tried to grab her other hand. Kristen launched herself at him until he was knocked on his back on the floor and she was on all fours as she pinned him down. 

‘Please,’ he rasped, ‘you don’t need to do this, Kristen. We just want to talk to you for a while. We want to help you,’

‘Then take me to Lore!’ she screamed.

‘He’s resting right now and-’

‘He doesn’t require rest. Do you think I don’t know my own keeper?!’ Kristen opened her mouth as if to bite his face. ‘I’ll kill you if you don’t show me where you’re hiding him!’

That was when he tapped the shiny metal badge on his shirt and there was a chirruping sound. He shouted something, some seemingly random words that made no sense to her, and then chaos broke loose. 

The doors to the room opened and Kristen looked up, madness and fear swirling in her mind. She thought that Lore was coming to her at first when she saw a flash of moongold skin and dark hair but as soon as the man reached her, knocked the weapon from her grip and then wrenched her off the one who had dared to try and touch her, she realised it couldn’t be. Lore would never be so combative with her, even when he was in a really bad mood. 

This was the one who she’d seen in these rooms before. The one who dared to look _exactly_ like Lore and yet was clearly nothing like him at all. 

She was grasped with strong hands and then forced to her feet. She wailed with fear when Not-Lore then wrapped his arms around her from behind, forcing her back tight against his front. His arms were so secure that she could barely struggle. Caging her, he took on a rigid posture and the surreality of it made her cry even harder still. This was the worst punishment she could imagine – being restrained by some imposter, some man who was her keeper’s twin – when all she wanted was to break free and escape this unbelievable agony.

_Lore, where are you?! I need you! I’m scared!_

The balding man was helped to his feet and then he was rushed away somewhere, probably to the same place the bearded man had gone for medical attention. The only person left was the woman with the dark eyes. She came over, apparently braver now that Kristen was trapped and couldn’t lash out.

‘Please,’ she implored, ‘please, try to calm down. Right now, there is no way you can get out of here and so your best choice really is to take some deep breaths and try to trust us,’

‘I’m your p-prisoner,’ Kristen wailed, ‘h-how can I t-trust you?!’

‘You’re the one lashing out and hurting people, not us. We haven’t hurt you at all. My name is Counselor Deanna Troi but I would like it if you would call me Deanna. Can you say that? Can you say my name?’

‘D-D-Deanna…’ Kristen managed.

‘That’s right, well done. Do you think we can talk for a while?’

Kristen was realising now that she really did have no choice in all of this. Slowly, she stopped struggling and though Not-Lore did not release his hold on her even slightly, she could feel that the tension in his body had relaxed somewhat. She wanted to turn a little, to look up at his face, but she couldn’t move at all. He wasn’t going to let go of her and wasn’t going to listen to her pleas. None of them were. She was trapped.

‘What d-do you w-want to t-talk about?’ she asked.

‘I want to know about you. Anything you want to tell me,’ Deanna said.

‘I am Lore’s. He is my k-keeper. I do what he says and I d-do it when he tells me t-to,’

‘Yes, I know that. Who are you?’

‘I am Kristen.’ She frowned then. Her eyes were stinging with tears. ‘I am Kristen. I am Lore’s perfect creation. I am Kristen.’

Deanna came closer, offering her a small smile. ‘It’s nice to meet you,’ she said.

‘Why d-does Lore have a t-twin?’ Kristen asked, ‘who is this p-person h-holding me?’

‘In time,’ Deanna said, ‘we’re going to explain everything to you. But right now we’d like to sit you down and get some food and water inside you. How does that sound? You must be hungry or if not that, then you definitely must be thirsty?’

Kristen couldn’t deny that she felt hollow inside and her mouth was dry. ‘I s-shouldn’t… Lore wouldn’t w-want me to accept anything from s-strangers…’

‘But we’re not strangers. You’re Kristen and I’m Deanna. I’d like to give you some food,’

‘Rations?’

‘Yes, rations.’

Kristen tilted her head a little. ‘I suppose that might be okay…’


	27. Mourning

It was far from easy, but between Troi and Data they managed to get Kristen to eat. One of Crusher’s nurses had suggested something easily-digestible and light, such as soup or crackers, but Troi felt she knew better. She fetched some chocolate ice cream from a replicator and with Data still holding their cyborg charge in his arms, she spoonfed her small bites of the frozen dessert. Kristen’s eyes were still filled with panic, even if she was allowing herself to be fed. 

Troi could sense so much intense emotion exuding from her that she had to do her very best not to get sucked into it. Focusing as best she could, she fed Kristen another spoonful of ice cream. The girl was shaking all over but seemed to appreciate having some food in her stomach. 

‘How’s that?’ Troi asked, ‘does it taste good?’

Kristen licked her lips. ‘Yes… I’ve n-never had anything like it…’

_Yes, you have. We ate chocolate ice cream together all the time when we lived on the same ship. Oh, what a nightmare this is. I am so sorry this has happened to you._

Troi shook those thoughts off and then she lifted her eyes to look at Data. He was staring into space as he stood there and kept his arms secured around Kristen. She waited until he shifted his gaze and when their eyes connected she gave him a smile that she hoped he understood. That smile told him that she appreciated fully how difficult this was and how he was not alone in this insane situation. Data did not smile back at her.

‘When c-can I go home?’ Kristen asked.

Troi put the spoon in the bowl she was holding. ‘This is going to take a lot of explaining but you _are_ home now, Kristen. Where you’ve been recently, on the jungle planet… that’s not your home. I know this must be confusing for you, but that’s alright. You and I are going to have lots of conversations together until you understand what’s happened to you.’

Kristen blinked a few times, tears clinging to her eyelashes. ‘I am Lore’s creation… I do what he says and-’

‘You do it when he tells you to,’ Troi finished for her, ‘I know. It seems that he has you well-trained.’

There was a moment of silence and then Picard, Riker and Crusher returned. Picard’s broken wrist and Riker’s sprained arm had been healed but they were still grave of face and cautious of approach. Captain Picard looked over the fact that Troi had managed to get Kristen to eat and then he took a seat on the edge of a nearby medi-bed. 

‘How badly did I hurt you?’ Kristen asked, a most unexpected question.

‘You broke my wrist,’ Picard told her, ‘but we can overlook that slight. I understand that you’re scared and confused,’

‘Yes… I’m very confused…’

‘Do you think that if Data lets you go, you could be trusted now? Or are you going to attempt to injure one or more of us again?’

Kristen was shaking. ‘Will you take me to my keeper? I’ve been trying to reach him subliminally but I can’t get him to respond to me. Is he alright? Is he alive?’

Troi’s eyes snapped to Picard’s. Subliminally? She thought of the time that Lore had used Data’s emotion chip against him, how he had used certain frequencies to manipulate Data into feeling and doing things he would never ordinarily contemplate. Was he doing the same to Kristen? When he was conscious, was he controlling her? It seemed likely.

‘Lore is alive and well,’ Picard assured, looking once more to Kristen.

‘Then why can’t I go to him?’

Riker replicated a glass of water and then he came over with it. ‘Are you thirsty?’ he asked.

She nodded, once, slowly. 

He helped her to take a few swallows and then he put the glass down. ‘At the moment, Lore is being held in a different part of the ship,’ he explained, with a careful and considerate tone.

‘We haven’t done anything wrong. You shouldn’t be imprisoning us like this,’ Kristen insisted.

Riker sighed. ‘ _You_ haven’t done anything wrong,’ he conceded, ‘Lore, however…’

The conversation with her seemed to go round and round in circles. The more that they tried to calm her and assure her that she was in the right place now and that everything was going to be fine, the more concerned and anxious she became. Her enquiries about Lore were endless and her fear was just as consistent. All she cared about was being with her ‘keeper’ and though her demands were meek now, they were never-ending. 

Troi allowed over an hour of this and then she took Captain Picard to one side and told him that for the time being, trying to reach her was pointless. 

‘What do you suggest?’ he asked, keeping his voice low.

‘We should escort her to personal quarters. I’ll stay with her,’ she replied.

‘She will not fare well alone,’

‘I know. I’ll stay overnight with her if I have to. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her calm. Let’s see if we can move her elsewhere and then I will try to make her as comfortable as I possibly can. Sickbay isn’t the cosiest of places. If she has her own space, in a less clinical environment, she might calm down enough to communicate more openly with me. I can try to find out what’s really going on here.’

Picard nodded. ‘Agreed. For now, it seems to be the only option we have.’

They took that idea back to where Data was still holding Kristen and it was discussed openly so that she would understand where she was being taken and why. She was still shaking with fear when Data slowly let go of her, but thankfully she didn’t try to bolt or escape. She appraised those standing around her with a note of distrust in her scarlet eyes and then she turned a little and looked up at Data. 

Troi watched as Data looked back at Kristen. Even though he was immune to pain at that moment, Troi still sensed fluctuations inside him. They were not emotional, but something was definitely vacillating within his sensors. Kristen seemed to be lost in how identical he was to Lore and as soon as Troi sensed how upset she was getting and badly that was exacerbating her confusion, she moved over and took the girl’s hand.

‘Come with me,’ she said, with a warm smile, ‘I’ll take you to some rooms where you’ll have some privacy. You can rest there and we can talk.’

Kristen tore her eyes from Data’s and looked to her. ‘Will you stay with me? I don’t like to be alone,’

‘Of course I will,’

‘You won’t leave me?’ 

‘You have my word that I won’t leave you. Let’s go.’

Troi managed to coax Kristen to the sickbay doors and then she walked her through them and they started to slowly wander down the corridor together. Captain Picard, Riker and Data followed eventually but they kept some distance so that Kristen wouldn’t feel crowded or threatened. The journey to some guest quarters took quite some time because of Kristen’s nervousness and Troi spoke to her with every step they took, assuring her that she wasn’t in any danger or any trouble and that they weren’t taking her somewhere that would be frightening. 

When they finally reached the rooms, Troi asked Kristen to wait a moment and then she turned to her colleagues. ‘I’ll take it from here,’ she said.

‘I’m not sure how comfortable I am leaving you here without security,’ Riker responded.

‘Would you feel better if Lieutenant N’Dya stood outside?’ she asked him.

‘He’s still at holodeck four and that’s where I want him to remain for now,’ Picard reminded, ‘I will assign some security here, however. It would be unwise not to considering the… journey… that this has taken us on so far.’

Kristen looked up at Data again. ‘Why are you so identical to Lore?’ she asked. 

Data tilted his head. ‘We are-’

‘How can it be that you have the same eyes and skin and hair? Are your inner workings the same? Do you have a pet like me? Is she a good pet? Did you create her? Do you play games? Does she make you smile?’

Data visibly struggled to absorb all she was putting to him, and Troi was sure he was going to try and answer some of those queries but then Picard stopped him by raising a hand and then there was an uncomfortable silence.

‘Let’s go inside now,’ Troi said, letting go of Kristen’s hand so she could put an arm very gently around her shoulders.

Kristen didn’t resist and so they entered the guest quarters together and the doors closed behind them. Troi was slightly nervous about being alone with her, given that she’d already displayed unbelievable strength and panicked aggression, but she knew she had years of psychology study and infinite patience on her side. She was determined that all would be level and without high drama or chaos. She took Kristen over to a sofa and helped her to sit down. The mood was a tense one but it was not as bad as it had been earlier.

‘Would you like anything else to eat or drink?’ Troi asked.

Kristen frowned. ‘I would like to be taken to my keeper,’ she replied.

 _Tell me something I don’t know. I think that tonight is going to be long, difficult and a complete study in repetition,_ Troi thought to herself.

*

Captain Riker decided to head back to his own ship for the rest of the night. He wanted to see how his crew were getting on, he was tired and, like everyone else, deeply unsettled by all that was coming to pass. Captain Picard waited for him to go and then he tapped his comm badge and requested that some security officers join him at his current location. 

Though he knew that none of his staff apart from Data had a chance of restraining Harper, he could hardly expect for his First Officer to be solely responsible for her. Not only would it be unfair, it would be cruel. As an afterthought, he asked Worf to join them also and then he tapped his badge again to close the link and wondered what to do next. The day had been long and hard and he had barely had the chance to eat or even think of his own needs. 

As he thought of such things, he looked to Data and saw him standing there with that same blank expression he’d been wearing all day.

‘Number One?’ he said.

Data looked to him. ‘Yes Sir?’

‘You are off-duty now. I know you might have taken nightwatch but I would prefer for you to go back to your quarters now,’

‘As you wish.’

Picard watched him start to head down the corridor. Looking the other way and seeing that Worf and the assigned security staff were approaching already, he gave them a brief nod and then he turned again and caught up with Data in just a few brisk strides. They walked to the turbolift and then they entered it and Picard asked the computer to take them to deck nine. 

Not a word was spoken between them during that journey and nor did either of them speak when they exited the turbolift.

There remained no doubt that Data wasn’t feeling anything but there was still something off about his quietness and detachment. He was almost _too_ detached. Picard kept with him as they both headed to their quarters, wondering if he should try to offer some advice. But what should he tell Data? That he was sorry for these horrific circumstances? It was nowhere near enough. Should he tell him that they would find a way to heal Harper and restore her to the woman she’d been before? No. Her positronic implants could never be removed and as such, she could never be restored. Picard was at a loss.

At his rooms, Data paused and then he made to head straight inside. Then there was a pause and he turned to face his Captain. ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘may I make a request?’

Picard nodded to him. ‘Of course,’

‘It is of a personal nature,’

‘Alright,’

‘A very long time ago, when Kristen was my Counselor, she asked me not to deactivate my emotion chip. Even when I was faced with a difficult or painful situation, she always encouraged me to try and manage it as anyone else would without resorting to a severe cancellation of my feelings. I understand why you asked me to switch the chip off when I was initially faced with what she has become but time has passed now and I would like your permission to… process the grief I am suppressing,’ he replied. His tone was devoid of sadness, but his yellow eyes were intensely serious.

‘I’m not entirely sure that’s wise,’ Picard said.

‘Why?’ Data asked.

‘Do you believe you can control yourself? If you reactivate the chip, will you not feel compelled to go to Kristen? Or to Lore? If I was in your position, I’m not sure I could cope with these events. I would either want to be with my loved one, even when she couldn’t understand or deal with my need to be close to her, or I would want to hunt down the person who hurt her and make them pay. Neither of those options would be productive or beneficial.’

Data nodded. ‘Understood, Sir. I will proceed without emotions.’

He made to enter his quarters again but some uncertain guilt made Picard reach out and put a hand on his shoulder. Data halted and turned his head. His eyes held questions.

‘Do you believe you can control yourself?’ Picard repeated.

Data thought for a moment. ‘I understand that if I did feel compelled to be close to Kristen that I would confuse her and frighten her. I would never want that. I also understand that going to Lore and taking out my anger on him would likely lead to him not being tried or punished for his crimes. I would never want that either. I simply wish for the right to be able to process my loss,’ he replied.

Picard sighed and then he gestured for Data to continue on into his quarters. Moving with him, he battled with his conscience for a while. He would never order any of his other officers not to feel grief when they were faced with such tragedy. Data wasn’t just his First Officer, he was his friend too. He knew it was wrong to ask him to leave the chip off but at the same time, he didn’t want to add to the maelstrom of darkness that had cloaked the ship ever since Lore and Kristen had been found and beamed onboard. 

If Data’s grief led to desperation or anger, the whole situation would instantly be a thousand times worse. If it could get any worse, that was. Troi was looking after Harper and there was no-one else on the ship with her level of psychology qualifications. There was no-one to safeguard Data or help him, other than his friends.

‘What would you have me do?’ Picard asked. 

‘I do not know,’

‘Do you understand the risks involved?’

With a nod, Data just stood there.

‘I’ll stay with you. If you want to experience these feelings, the least I can do is stay and see for myself if you can cope. I have to ask something of you, though,’

‘What is it, Sir?’

‘If I believe that you cannot cope and I tell you to switch the chip off again, I want you to do so immediately,’

‘That is acceptable.’

They sat down together on a sofa in the living room. Picard watched as Data’s cat came trotting in from what he knew to be the work area and at once, he stood up again and took her back to where she had come. During that short journey, it was hard to ignore the presence of who Kristen used to be. Her feminine touch had changed Data’s quarters over time so that they had a less ordered appearance and a more homely feel. Her belongings were here and there and Picard was surprised to find that even he had to ignore them because of how sad they made him.

_Data will have to pack these things away. No-one knows what the future holds, but as of right now they are most certainly not a couple anymore and her clothes and cosmetics and personal effects are only going to hurt him more as time goes on. He will have to revert these rooms back to how they used to be. I wish it were not so but he has no choice. He cannot live in the past._

Picard returned to Data and sat down once more. 

‘I apologise in advance is this will be difficult for you, Sir,’ Data said.

‘This isn’t about me,’

‘I understand… but, I have observed over time how you do not appreciate outward displays of emotion. I do not want to make you uncomfortable.’

Picard shook his head a little, amazed that he could be so selfless at such a horrendous time. ‘Please, don’t concern yourself with that right now. Just reactivate your chip and we’ll take it from there.’

Data took that in, gave himself a long moment, and then there was the tell-tale blip sound of the chip coming back into function. He was motionless for at least a couple of minutes and then his posture changed as he sat back on the sofa and rested his hands in his lap. Picard watched him carefully, knowing that it was not a time for conversation. As a good Captain and a good friend, the best thing he could do was be a supportive bystander instead of asking questions or offering any verbal support. 

The silence was lengthy as Data processed so very much. He stared down at his hands and at times, his eyes moved subtly as his emotion chip allowed him to get in touch with all that had happened to him. He had of course felt emotion when discovering that Kristen and the other officers were missing and had gone into shock. He’d felt horror and pain when she and Lore had been beamed over from their runabout but since then he’d been numb and detached. 

Now, Data was able to feel it all – sorrow, grief, pain, anger, misery, hatred, heartbreak…

Picard kept his silent vigil, just watching his friend. The first sign of real emotion was not dramatic at all. He did not leap up and demand to be taken to Kristen and nor did he give in to rage and try to get to holodeck four so he could rip his brother into pieces. Instead, he exhaled a long sigh and then closed his eyes. Tears pooled there and then they ran very slowly down his face. 

‘I am unsure now that this was a wise decision,’ he confessed, in a broken tone.

‘Do you want to switch the chip off again?’ Picard asked.

‘No… I do not. Kristen asked me not to deactivate my feelings. I must process this. I must process that I have lost her,’ Data replied.

The tears continued to fall until his face was streaked with gold. He hardly made a sound as he cried and that much struck Picard as horribly sad. This grief was quiet, not theatrical. Eventually, he did lean forward and hold his head in his hands and then he stayed like that for over twenty minutes, just crying and feeling. His shoulders didn’t tremble and he didn’t sniffle or sigh. Data just worked through his pain in his own way – no drama, only heart.

Picard got up and made his way to the replicator, still keeping an eye on his friend. He obtained some tea for himself and then, remembering Data’s penchant for coffee, ordered some of that too. He carried the cups over and then he slowly re-took his seat. ‘Here,’ he said, pushing the cup towards him.

Data dropped his hands and turned his head. He saw the coffee and it roused him to some extent for he picked up the cup and took a sip. When he’d put it down again, he sighed. ‘I have processed over four hundred and seventy six distinct emotional states since my chip was fused to my neural net but I am quite sure that none of them could ever compare to this grief I am now attempting to manage. Captain…’

‘Please, Data, at a time like this don’t be so formal. You can call me Jean-Luc,’

‘Are you certain?’

‘Of course I’m certain.’

Data nodded. ‘Jean-Luc… this level of pain is indescribable. I believed that I had felt agony in the past… such as when Kristen elected to join the crew of the _USS Galatea_ … when she did not want to attempt a long-term relationship with me. When she left me that time, I was unsure as to how I would progress in my life without her and the resulting grief was impossibly hard to bear. But this… she is here and yet she is gone. She is home, where she should be, but she is not Kristen anymore. I do not know what she is…’

‘It’s alright. Talk to me,’ Picard encouraged.

‘When she left, I had doubts… I had a strong feeling that she should not leave the ship. But I let her leave because I wanted to support her career choices and the furthering of her education. It is my fault that she was kidnapped. It is my fault that she was abused and turned into what she is now. I told Geordi of these feelings and he assured me that all of it is Lore’s fault and not my own, but… I knew it was wrong for her to leave. Had I listened to those feelings, she would never have been hurt. She never would have been starved and abused. The surgeries… her eyes… her body…’

Picard took a breath and then quietly released it. ‘I might not feel the way that you do about her, Data, but I do feel a bond with her all the same. She is a colleague and my much-trusted Counselor. It was I who promoted her and trusted her enough to put her on my bridge. I like her. I care for her too. It pains me greatly that she has been altered to such an extent and that her mind and body have been warped beyond comprehension.’

Data wiped his face and then he sat back again. ‘I still love her,’ he said, ‘I will always love her,’

‘I have no doubt,’

‘Even if we never recover her memories or manage to help her realise what Lore has done to her, I will still love her. Even if she continues to want Lore instead of myself, my feelings for her will not change. I could not love anyone else,’ 

‘I believe you, Data,’

‘Kristen is the only person I want to be with. She was the first person to meet me and accept me with full emotional capabilities. She did not know who I used to be. I am aware that our knowing of one another was complicated in the beginning and often marred with awkwardness and problematic situations, but that she continued to come back to me meant more than I can convey. When I fell in love with her, I knew those feelings would never alter. There can be no-one else. I can never remove her. I can _never_ be with anyone else,’ Data said.

Picard felt each and every one of those words, so heartfelt and pained they were. ‘It’s important to bear in mind that Lore has manipulated her as extensively as he has modified her. Right now, she is definitely still under his spell. But if we can work out a way to reach her on a psychological level and unlock her memories-’

‘He has wiped her mind completely,’ Data cut in, more tears gleaming in his eyes, ‘there may be no memories to unlock.’

Picking up his tea, Picard blew over it and then took a sip. Data had a point but there was no way he was going to assume the worst at this tentative and early stage. No-one knew for sure what was buried in Harper’s subconscious and he definitely wasn’t going to assume that she was beyond salvage. 

‘There may be no memories,’ he conceded, ‘but if there are, we’re going to find them. If they’re there, then she might wake up and realise what has been done to her. She might see Lore as her torturer and captor instead of as her keeper.’

Data shook his head, wincing with pain. ‘Holding her in sickbay… restraining her like that whilst Troi fed her and yourself and the others attempted to converse with her… was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. I hope that I will not have to do that again, but I also know that myself and Lore are the only people on the ship who can physically hold her. Should I be called to that duty again, I am unsure as to how I will conduct my behaviour,’ 

‘We will have to cross that bridge when we come to it,’

‘I feel an intense desire to embrace her more intimately. To touch her face and her hair… to kiss her and tell her that all of this is some nightmare we will all awaken from. But that would be a lie. Because this is not a dream. This is reality and… I cannot face it.’

Data ran his hands into his hair and then he leaned over again, his elbows on his knees. Picard watched him, wishing that he knew how to mend the agony his friend was overwhelmed by. There were no words that could assuage the pain, no sage anecdotes that could ever bring insight to the madness and no encouragement either, for what could Picard encourage Data to do? Be strong? Be resolute in the face of heartbreak? 

‘I would like you to remain off-duty for the next two days,’ he said, in a gentle tone, ‘I recommend that you stay here, within your quarters, and do your best to process this. I know that it must sound impossible, but I do believe quite strongly that time is a healer. When you’ve had some time to experience this grief and come to terms with what has happened, you may be able to focus on what we all need to do – reach Kristen and help her.’

Data put his face in his hands again. ‘I would appreciate some time alone,’ was all he said.

Picard took that as a cue. ‘Would you like me to leave you be now?’

‘I do not want to sound ungrateful for the time you have spent here with me tonight, but… I think it might be best that I spend some time in solitude,’ was the broken response.

Putting his tea down, Picard nodded to himself. He couldn’t agree more with what Data wanted. There was no need for him to turn the chip off; what he needed was space. His heart might not be human but it was every bit as fragile. He stood up and then he moved over to the doorway. ‘Should you need me, I am here for you,’ he said.

Data nodded, his head still hanging down.

‘I mean those words, Data. If you need someone to talk to, please contact me immediately,’

‘Yes, Sir… thank you…’

Picard allowed himself one final look at his friend and then he steeled himself and left the shadowed lux of his quarters. In a daze of reflections, he moved down the corridor until he was at his own personal rooms and went inside immediately. It was 23:40 hours and he was exhausted and spent in more ways than one.

He wanted to go straight to bed but despite himself, he felt wired on tragedy. Picard sat down on the end of his bed and then he ran a hand over his face. There was so much still left to do. Harper’s family had no idea what had happened to her. Lore was still switched off and restrained on the holodeck. Harper was still a liability to herself and others. He so badly wanted to think positively, but Data’s mourning had infected him.

What was that quote by Voltaire?

_Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable._

‘And we are miserable indeed,’ Picard muttered to himself.

*

Two days passed. The _USS Titan_ and her crew elected to stay with the _Enterprise_ for the foreseeable future or at least until current issues had been brought somewhere close to resolution. The families of the deceased were informed as to what had happened. The bodies of Yates, Jijesh, Jones and Sarrott were unearthed from Terlina III and Captain Riker decided to accompany them in the journey home. It was a maudlin task but one he would oversee with professionalism and sensitivity. 

Commander Data stayed in his quarters and Counselor Troi remained with Kristen in her rooms. A skeleton crew ran the bridge and Starfleet Command agreed that no missions would be put to either ship whilst such affairs were ongoing.

Captain Picard called a meeting in the observation lounge but because of more important commitments, only Doctor Crusher, Lieutenant N’Dya and Commander LaForge were present. The tone of the meeting was not as formalistic as it might have ordinarily been and Picard was fine with that. This was a time for solidarity, not impersonal exchanges.

‘I’ve been thinking about Lore,’ LaForge said.

‘Yeah, haven’t we all,’ N’Dya said, ‘he’s evil personified. I cannot take in what he’s done.’

LaForge looked to him. ‘I know. You’re right.’

Picard wanted to know what his Chief of engineering had been gearing towards before that slight interruption and so he nodded to him, a subtle gesture that asked him to proceed.

‘We went about it all wrong the first time we reactivated him. He was strapped down and faced with people he hates. We made demands of him and it dissolved into a directionless argument. If we’re going to attempt any type of genuine communication with him, we’re going to have to try a different angle,’ LaForge said.

Crusher’s brow furrowed. ‘I don’t like where this is going,’ she said.

‘Nor do I,’ N’Dya agreed, ‘he deserves nothing less than being strapped down and interrogated. He’s a psychopath. We should dismantle him and have done with it.’

Picard was still focused on Geordi. ‘Proceed, Commander,’ he said.

LaForge looked to his colleagues and then to his Captain. ‘If we’re ever going to have a hope of reaching Kristen, then we’re going to have to do so via Lore. I suggest that we relocate him to the brig and hold him there,’

‘You can’t hold Lore in the brig!’ Crusher cried, ‘you know what he’s capable of! He could take over the entire ship in record time and then we’re all done for. Geordi, there is no way we can reactivate him somewhere he cannot be contained!’

‘Let me finish,’ LaForge said, polite but firm.

Crusher scratched the side of her neck in irritation and then gestured at him to continue.

‘We can set up a field of holo-emitters. They will safeguard the brig and keep him held within it.’

Picard was intrigued. ‘I take it you’ve already done the necessary preparations?’ he asked.

‘Yes. Whilst we’re orbiting here without a mission, I needed to focus on something so I put my mind to the kind of security levels necessary to hold a Soong-type android. If we can hold Lore on the holodeck then all we need to do is transfer the same technology to the brig. I’m not saying that we should keep him immobilised but we can certainly triple or even quadruple the safety measures down there and ensure that he can’t get out. He’ll be able to move freely but should he try anything risky, he’ll be caught in the act and will be instantly paralysed,’ LaForge said.

Picard liked the sound of that very much. ‘And as for Harper?’ he ventured.

‘I was told that she mentioned some sort of subliminal link between them. If she can sense that he’s activated and has a certain degree of free will then she might be appeased. She might stop begging to be with him and might open up and tell Troi more than she already has,’ LaForge replied.

The whole idea was so perfect that Picard felt like shaking his hand. Instead, he gave him a small smile and then he sat back in his chair and appraised him. ‘Leave it to my Chief engineer to apply mechanics to behaviourism. I commend you for this. As soon as this meeting is adjourned, I would like you to proceed immediately,’ he said.

LaForge smiled back at him. ‘Yes, Sir.’

Crusher was unsure. ‘And what if Kristen isn’t appeased?’ she asked, ‘what if knowing that Lore is awake and mobile again makes her desire to be with him even worse?’

Picard looked to her. ‘Do you have any better ideas, Beverly?’ he asked.

She opened her mouth to fire back a response but then she caught herself. ‘No, I suppose I don’t,’ she said.

LaForge stood up. ‘I’ll head down to the brig now, if that’s alright?’

‘Go ahead,’ Picard replied.

He left the room. N’Dya stood up also. ‘I should go with him,’ he said.

‘Agreed. Please report to me as soon as the holo-emitters are in place and the brig is fully secured,’ Picard said.

‘Sir.’ N’Dya nodded to him and then also left the lounge.

Crusher watched him go and then she pulled her seat closer to Picard’s. ‘I might not be a Betazoid but I’ve got a bad feeling about this,’ she told him.

He listened to those nervous words and then he took her hand in both of his. ‘We have to try this,’ he told her, ‘and if it doesn’t go to plan and we all end up ejected out into space and Lore steals the ship, then I give you full permit to scold me.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘How can I scold you if we’re all ejected into space?’ she asked.

‘I’m sure you’ll find a way. You’re an expert at castigating me when necessary,’ he teased.

Crusher ignored his dark humour. ‘I’m serious, Jean-Luc. This could be dangerous,’

‘We have no other option,’ he replied.

She looked into his eyes for a long moment. ‘I hate to say this… but I suppose you’re right.’


	28. Connected

Lore was angry even before he opened his eyes. He gritted his teeth and felt pressure in his jaw expand and then shoot throughout his head. His fists clenched and rage coiled inside him like a venomous snake. When he let his eyelids part, he stared straight ahead of himself and was shocked when he realised that he wasn’t held on the holodeck anymore. He saw a buzzing field of violet light and beyond it, just one human face watching him. 

Standing up, he moved over to the field at once and stepped into it with total indifference. There was a _thrassssp_ and at that, he realised he couldn’t get out and so he pulled back. The rage was pulsing like a metronome.

‘You’re still held on the _Enterprise_ ,’ Captain Picard told him, ‘you’re in my brig now and the security measures here have been safeguarded even against your strength and abilities. If I were you, I’d take a seat and listen to what I have to say.’

Lore sneered at him. ‘Spare me the commination,’ he said, ‘get to the point, Picard. It’s only a matter of time until you switch me off again or take me to pieces. What do you want from me? If it’s an apology or some other type of atonement then you’re fooling yourself and we both know it,’

‘I know you’re not sorry for torturing and murdering members of my crew,’ he replied, standing from his seat, ‘what I want is to know how to reach Kristen Harper.’

_I’ve been back in the waking world again for all of sixty seconds and already you’re twisting the thorn in my side? Take me apart right now. Rather that than talk of what I’ve lost…_

Lore turned his face and stared at the bulkhead for a while. Then he moved to sit down again.

‘She’s not well on a psychological level,’ Picard continued, ‘she’s in a lot of pain.’

_The thorn twists and it tears me open. Give me death instead of knowledge of her suffering._

‘If you can help me reach her, then Counselor Troi and I might stand a chance of helping her. Whenever she isn’t resting, all she does is ask for you. I’m not entirely convinced that she’s suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. A vague diagnosis was made but since then, my staff and I have reason to believe that this is a far more complicated situation. Is it true that you care for her as much as she cares for you?’ Picard put to him.

Lore slouched where he sat, exuding bravado. ‘What Kristen and I share is no business of yours,’ he said.

Picard’s mouth tipped downwards for a beat and then he regained composure. ‘Counselor Troi has informed me that she sensed genuine feeling directed from you towards Kristen. I have never known her Empathic abilities to be inaccurate. As such, I can only assume that you do harbour affection for Kristen and that you care for her wellbeing. Do you deny that?’

‘This is tiresome,’

‘I’m sure it is. A productive exchange may be more engaging for you. Could you dare to meet me halfway?’

‘Hardly,’

‘Then connect with me on some level, at least. Shed some light on this darkness.’

Lore laughed. ‘You want me to tell you how to change her back to what she was before? It’s too late for that, Picard. Kristen Harper is not the goody two-shoes Starfleet statistic she was before our paths crossed. She’s not your soft-hearted psychotherapist, not your confidante, not your altruistic servant, nor your friend.’

Picard smiled, but it was cold. ‘Between the lines, I read deep affection and pride. Are you proud of what you’ve done to her?’

‘Proud?’ Lore shook his head. ‘Such an adjective does not come close to how I feel about her. She is my image of perfection. She is my creation. She’s mine now… and I am hers. There is nothing you can do to change that.’

Picard sat down again, slow and measured. ‘And as such, you care for her. You are invested in her wellbeing?’

‘If I didn’t care about Kristen then why else would I have tried to escape with her?’

Picard nodded. ‘And there we are,’

‘Yes. There we are.’

Lore was boiling with anger but he had no way to display it. The room he was held in was small and grey and devoid of features. There was nothing for him to destroy and nowhere for him to run. He couldn’t escape and he couldn’t fight what was happening to him. He sat there and stared at the Captain of the ship that had captured him, wishing he could skin him alive. 

‘If you care for Kristen, then give me the information I need to help her,’ Picard appealed, ‘you know that she cannot exist forever in her current state. For that to happen, I would need to release you from my brig and give you pardon. I would need to allow you both to leave this ship and start a life together. But how could I do that? You have killed countless civilians and Starfleet officers in your time, not to mention colonists and members of the Borg collective. And your own Father.’ 

Lore snorted derisively.

‘You know you can never be freed. If any part of you is sincere and feels genuine love for Kristen, then help me help her. Tell me how to fix her.’

With a roll of his eyes, Lore stood up again. He could barely keep still. ‘There _is_ no way to fix her!’ he yelled, ‘surely you have figured that out by now?! The implants I grafted into her brain are irremovable! Without them she cannot survive!’

‘Yes, we have certainly determined that much,’ Picard retorted, ‘we know all too well that she will forever be a cyborg following the surgeries you have inflicted upon her! What I am asking you is how to reach her on an emotional level! She is obsessed by being reunited with you! All she talks about you – her “keeper” – and how soon you will be together again!’

_She still loves me. She still needs me._

Lore grinned. ‘Why the hell would I want to remedy such a mindset?’

‘Because it is causing her intense pain,’ Picard fired back, his grey eyes blazing.

His grin tightened but did not fade. ‘The only thing you can do to relieve her pain is to bring her to me. She has internal alerts that are triggered whenever we are apart. If you want her to be safe and happy, then you need to reunite us immediately,’

‘I want you to reverse those alerts,’ 

‘No,’

‘I want you to aid me in beginning her recovery process. Kristen deserves more than being your pet. If you truly care for her, then you will surely want more for her than this. Give her life, Lore. Give her reality. The state she is in now is not real. Had she been able to choose for herself, you know she would have chosen a life in Starfleet. You know she would have chosen Data over you.’

Lore stopped smiling altogether at that moment. A dark chill resounded in his sensors at the mentioning of that name. ‘Is that right?’ he said.

Picard glared at him. ‘You know it is.’

Lore looked down at his left hand and then, very calmly, he peeled back his thumbnail. Just one touch to the mechanisms beneath that nail and he felt completely in control again. ‘We shall see,’ he said.

*

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

In her quarters, Kristen shivered. Then she lifted her head and looked up. 

Counselor Troi had been talking to her about separation anxiety or some other psychobabble but as soon as her homing device was triggered, she became utterly deaf and indifferent to kindness or reason. She got to her feet and then she strode over to the doors.

‘Wait,’ Troi said, alarmed, ‘where are you going?’ 

Kristen ignored her.

‘Wait for me! Where are you going?’

The doors opened and Kristen stepped beyond them. At once, she was greeted by a bevy of alarmed expressions. A Klingon who was easily over a foot taller than she was tried to take hold of her but she bared her teeth and grabbed his arms in her hands, digging her nails into his skin and holding him off with minimal effort. He tried to fight her, but had no hope. She twisted her hands and when she heard the sickening crunch of breaking radius and ulna bones, she smiled as she watched him drop to his knees. He roared in agony and at that, others came for her.

She struck out with perfectly-aimed blows and then they too were on their knees. One of them tried to grab hold of her leg but she lifted her knee, changed her posture and then used her heel to break his nose. Blood bubbled there and then he passed out.

Counselor Troi caught up with her. ‘Kristen, what are you doing?’ she asked, her dark eyes wide.

Kristen looked her way. ‘I’m going to my keeper. Stay out of my way, Deanna. I don’t want to hurt you.’

Troi opened her mouth as though she was going to protest and then she looked at the casualties still writhing on the corridor floor. At that, she stepped back and put a hand to her mouth.

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

_Bleep. Bleep. Bleep._

Kristen did not know the ship she was being held on, but she knew the direction she had to take. She moved further down the corridor and then she ripped the hatch from a Jeferries tube and crouched down so she could take a look inside it. The path that lay ahead of her was narrow but well-lit. With longing and determination pulsing inside her, she crawled into the conduit and then she raced forwards like a panther on the hunt.

_I’m coming, Lore. I can feel you calling me. We’ll be together soon…_

*

Lore was still smiling to himself when Picard became aware of noise overhead. He craned his neck to look upwards and then he stood. It sounded as though someone – or something – was trying to break through the ceiling. 

‘What’s the matter, Picard?’ Lore drawled, ‘all of that confidence has drained from your face…’

‘What have you done?’ he fired back.

‘What you pushed me to do. Like you said… if I care so much for Kristen’s wellbeing then why would I let her suffer? It’s time we were together again.’

There was a loud rattling sound then. It reverberated throughout the brig. Picard backed away from his chair, completely shocked by the aggression in those noises. Then there were juddering screeches as metal was torn from metal. The ceiling was ripped open and two pale, slender legs descended. Kristen Harper lowered herself down and when she landed on the floor, she was as poised and graceful as a tigress. She crouched for a moment and then, when she saw where Lore was, she stood up at full height and approached the forcefield.

‘Wait,’ Picard said, ‘Harper, you’ll injure yourself!’

Kristen turned and looked at him. Her scarlet eyes were dilated and focused. She looked away again and then she stepped closer to the glittering violet light.

‘He’s right,’ Lore told her, ‘you cannot cross this field. You will need to take Picard and force him to deactivate it.’

Kristen turned her head this way and that as she considered his words and then she followed the orders she’d been given and strode over to Picard. ‘Help me get to my keeper or I will kill you,’ she snarled.

He lifted his hands in terror, trying to fend her off, but she grabbed his wrists and marched him backwards until he was pressed to the rear wall. 

‘Let go of me!’ Picard shouted, overwhelmed by her strength.

‘Deactivate the field or I will kill you right now!’ she roared into his face.

The pain was too much. The last thing he wanted was to reunite the two of them but death or being maimed was a price too high. Picard nodded to her and at that, Kristen dragged him over to the panel near the forcefield. When she released his right arm, he punched in the numerical security code and at that, the violet light hissed into non-existence. She leapt away from him then, crossing the threshold. 

Thinking fast, Picard reactivated the field immediately. His wrists were aching and his heart was pounding in his throat, but he still felt a lick of relief that he’d managed to seal them in there.

When he managed to step back and look beyond the barrier, he saw that Kristen was in Lore’s arms and that they were kissing one another feverishly. She was on his lap and his arms were around her. 

Picard managed to tap his comm badge. ‘Picard to Counselor Troi. Are you alright?’

‘Troi here. I’m fine. Are you alright, Sir?’

He wasn’t sure how to respond. All he could focus on was the ferocity of the reunion taking place right before his eyes. ‘I’m… uninjured,’ he said, and then he felt his legs grow weak.

The doors to the brig opened and security staff rushed in. ‘Red alert! Security breach in the brig!’

Picard was dazed. ‘Cancel that,’ he murmured, ‘they’re contained.’

That much was hardly true or at least when it came to their excitement at being together again. Lore had his arms wrapped around Kristen and she was still drawing kisses from him that would surely suffocate a human being. They were incandescent in their desires and careless as to who was watching.

‘I’m on my way,’ Troi said.

*

When Troi got to the brig, she was breathless and scared. Worf and the others had been taken to sickbay to mend their broken bones but the horror of the scene was still ringing in her mind, as was their physical anguish. Captain Picard greeted her with a stricken expression and at that, she knew that she was about to be flung far out of her depth. She entered the room and couldn’t believe what she was seeing when she cast her gaze beyond the holo-enforced fields.

Lore had Kristen held close and their kissing was beyond salacious. They were desperate in their touches and wild with passion.

Troi turned to Picard and though she tried to shake off her embarrassment, she couldn’t help but blush. ‘Are they… are they contained? Can they get out?’ she asked.

Picard nodded to her. ‘Harper made me switch off the field but as soon as she was in there, I made sure it was reactivated.’

There was an awkward pause. ‘What should we do?’

‘I have no idea.’

They both case a glance towards them and then, realising that they truly did not want to witness such an unbridled display of affection, they turned and walked out of the room. Outside, Picard took several deep breaths to collect himself and Troi too tried to temper her shock.

‘Kristen was with me one moment and then gone the next. You would not believe how fast she moved or how aggressive she was,’ she said.

‘I had no idea that Lore could summon her that way,’ Picard agreed.

‘We need to re-group and reassess,’ 

‘Agreed.’

Picard tapped his comm badge. ‘Commander LaForge, head to the observation lounge immediately.’

*

It wasn’t easy holding Kristen back so he could end their kiss, but Lore knew that he had to for they needed to talk. He turned his face away from hers and then he moved his hands from the base of her back to her shoulders so he could put some distance between them. She was breathless and though she was confused at him breaking the kiss, happiness was also gleaming in her eyes that they were able to kiss at all. He smiled at her and when she returned that smile, he felt his heart ache with love for her.

‘I’ve been suffering without you,’ she told him, ‘these long days and nights have been hellish.’

Lore wove his fingers into her hair and used his thumb to gently stroke across her cheekbone. ‘I haven’t been doing too well either,’ he replied, ‘how have they been treating you?’

‘They had been kind to me, I suppose… but they will not listen to me. When I ask them to bring me to you, they assure me that all is well and that you’re resting. They have tried to tell me that this ship is my real home. It’s all very confusing,’ she told him.

‘In some senses, these people are benevolent. In other senses, they are self-serving and misleading. When they come to take you away from me, and they most certainly will, bear in mind that I have told you not to trust them. Allow them to feed you and to provide you shelter, but do _not_ believe the lies they tell you. Our home is on Terlina III. Your rightful place is by my side,’ Lore said.

‘I know it is. I do not want to anything except to be with you,’

‘That’s my girl. Come to me.’

She smiled a little and then she moved so that her head was on his shoulder. Lore wrapped his arms around her body and held her close, embracing her with a combination of sincere affection and also relief that Picard and the others hadn’t managed to brainwash her. Or de-brainwash her, as it was. If she’d come back to him and blathered on about Starfleet or Data, he might have flipped his own off-switch instead of waiting for Picard to do it. 

Kristen was still perfect, still on his page, still his.

He rested his chin on the top of her head and listened to her breathing, felt her heart beating against his chest. Being with her again was sublime. Of course, he wished there were anywhere else but in this prison but at least he had her in his arms again, could smell her hair and taste her kisses. Lore longed for them to be back on Terlina III. After her surgeries had been completed and her memories had been wiped, she’d been a true jewel once she’d opened her eyes and awoken into a new personality, a new body and a new life. 

He relived when he’d summoned her to find him in the jungle, when she’d scaled that tree to be with him, when he’d bathed her and touched her and found such simple contentment in their togetherness. Better still – those times of both wholesome closeness and carnal enjoyment. Singing to her, chasing her around the lab, watching her sleep, listening to her sing to him. Teaching her about foreplay, kissing, sex, pleasure… 

Lore felt sadness throb inside him then. He knew that it was practically impossible that he and Kristen would ever again get to be truly alone with one another from now on. The relationship he wished for them to have had no chance of being real now. These stolen moments were probably going to be the last they would ever share. He’d been too distracted when plotting their escape and that vulnerability had led them to where they were currently held – in a brig on a ship he hated, overseen and captured by people he despised. 

Data flashed into his mind then. 

Since being beamed onto the _Enterprise_ he’d barely considered him. His upper lip curled a little as his mind reviewed each and every moment the two of them had spent together and then delved deeper still, into certain facts that boiled the chemical nutrients that for all intents and purposes served as his android blood.

_Father’s favourite creation. Often-Wrong’s perfect son. He who gets all the praise, all the chances, all the attention and all the opportunities in life that I never had. He who has the approval of our ‘family’, he who has a career, he who has friends. I still hate him, maybe more than ever. I still want to wreck his life. I still want to kill him. I might have been distracted from the multitude of ways Data has fucked me over for a while, due to this treasure in my arms, but now we’re on the same ship and I know we’re going to see one another before long, I’m focused again._

_I will hurt you, Data. I will make you want to end yourself._

He cupped Kristen’s face with his hand and then lifted it so he could look into her eyes. ‘Have you spent any time with my brother?’ he asked.

She blinked at him. ‘The… one who looks just like you?’ 

‘Yes. The very same. Where have you seen him? Did he talk to you?’

Kristen sighed, her expression crossed with shadows of discomfort. ‘I saw him when we were brought to this ship. I only remember a glimpse… and then we spoke some when I woke up one time… I knew he wasn’t you and he confirmed that…’

‘What else?’ Lore asked, trying not to let his darker feelings show.

‘I lost control of myself and he was brought in to restrain me. I lashed out and hurt people, so he came into the room we were in and he held onto me so that I couldn’t hurt anyone else,’ she told him.

‘How did that make you feel?’ Lore was careful with this particular question. He was aware of Kristen’s hypersensitivity and how easy it was to confuse or frighten her. Still, he had to know if her being with Data again had unlocked any of her most deeply buried memory files. Trying to get her to forget that name had been truly difficult during the first days of exploring her new identity and he couldn’t bear that hard work being unravelled. 

Not yet. Not this soon. Not ever.

‘It made me feel… frustrated,’ Kristen told him, ‘and confused. You did not tell me that you have a brother. Nor did I know there was anyone else out there who looks just like you. I thought that you were the only sentient android in the universe. To know that there is another… it’s strange…’

Lore nodded slowly. ‘He and I have no relationship to speak of, Kristen. We are more than estranged. I didn’t tell you about him because he isn’t a part of my life,’ he said.

‘Do you wish me to stay away from him?’ she asked.

‘You may have no choice in the matter, but… if you _are_ given the option to avoid him, then I would definitely prefer for you to do so.’

Kristen smiled a little. ‘I’ll do whatever you say,’ she said.

Lore smiled back at her. ‘When they come for you, I want you to go with them without a fight. Do not lash out and hurt them anymore and do not protest. Let them take care of you, but when they try to tell you that we don’t belong together and that you used to be someone else, don’t fall for it. Kristen, they’re going to try everything they can to make you believe that I’m a bad person and they’re not going to stop until they’ve convinced you that I’ve done terrible things,’

‘Some of the things you have done are violent,’ she said, her tone as innocent as usual.

Surprised, he raised his eyebrows. ‘Such as?’

‘The story you told me about the painter… Randell Harper… you hurt him physically…’

Lore nodded. ‘And you said you didn’t care about that.’

Kristen smiled. ‘I don’t. Why would I? I don’t even know who he is,’

‘Do you still trust me?’ he asked.

‘With all my heart. I do not care what you have done to others. I love you. You are my creator and my keeper. You are my whole world,’ she replied.

Relief flooded through his systems. ‘Go with them when they come. Obey their instructions… but avoid Data as much as you can. Out of everyone on board this vessel, he is the one who will lie to you and hurt you and try to keep us apart. Data is your enemy, not your friend. You must remember that above all else.’

Kristen leaned up, giving him a soft kiss. ‘I will remember.’

Lore kissed her back. ‘You’re still my dark angel, Kristen. You always will be my dear one. They’re going to try and change that, but if we stay united in our minds and hearts, they will never succeed,’

‘I love you…’ 

‘I know,’

‘Do you love me?’ she asked.

He smiled at her. The backs of his fingers brushed over her cheek. Their eye contact intensified and then he pulled her closer again and covered her mouth with his. Lore knew it wouldn’t be long until Picard returned and he intended to make the most of this time with Kristen before he lost her again. He melted into the kiss and smiled into it too when she made a breathy sound of pleasure.

_They might have me held here in this prison, but that doesn’t mean Kristen and I are not connected. The link between us, the invisible umbilical-cable I worked so hard to put in place, will not be broken._

_We are bound, we are bonded and we are fused._

* 

Purposefully keeping himself at the back of the group, LaForge braced himself before he and the others headed into the brig. He still felt that his idea of keeping Lore held there was a good one (there was zero chance of extrapolating information from him whilst he was strapped down in the holodeck because he was both too obstinate and too ferocious when provoked) but, like his colleagues, he had definitely not expected for his being able-bodied to lead him to call Kristen to him. LaForge remembered how he had manipulated Data with similar behaviour, but hadn’t thought that Kristen could be used in the same way. 

Chilled by those thoughts, he stayed with Troi as Captain Picard led the way through the doors. He almost winced as he prepared himself to see Kristen and Lore’s vulgar display of passion, but then he saw that they were not behaving that way any longer and his shoulders relaxed with relief. Lore and Kristen were sitting next to one another and were deep in conversation. They were also holding hands, but that was the extent of their open affection.

Picard moved over to the forcefield. N’Dya stood by his side. 

‘I take it you’re here to interrupt our conjugal visit?’ Lore asked, as he turned his head.

‘We would like to take Kristen back to the quarters that have been allotted to her. All the while she is here with you, we cannot extend any care to her and nor can we offer her the psychological support she needs,’ Picard replied.

‘I see,’ Lore said, with an amused smile.

N’Dya went over to the security panel. ‘You should know that if you attempt to fight us, we do have equipment to hand that can short out your internal circuitry in an instant. If you do become aggressive, we will switch you off and leave you that way for an undetermined period of time,’ he said.

Lore’s smile increased and then he leaned over to Kristen and began to whisper in her ear. All the time he was doing that, Kristen’s eerie red eyes were moving from one person to another and the affronted mood she was slipping into was obvious. She was listening to all she was being told, but she was also bristling with discomfort. 

LaForge felt strange indeed when she stared at him directly. Before this mess, they’d been friends for a long time and he was truly pained by what she’d become.

‘I’m sure that you can share whatever you’re whispering,’ Picard said, ‘if you have any suggestions as to Kristen’s care, then we are certainly open to hearing them. We want the best for her. We always have.’

Ignoring him for a few moments more, Lore finished whatever he was saying, and then he and Kristen considered one another. She nodded, smiled a little, and then allowed him to pull her to her feet. They moved over to the forcefield together. 

‘Some sentiments are not designed to be shared,’ Lore said, with a flick of his eyebrows and a flash of his teeth.

‘Are you going to let us take Kristen back to her rooms or are you going to cause us any trouble?’ N’Dya asked.

‘I’m going to let you take her, of course,’ Lore replied, as though it was blindingly obvious, ‘I have no replicator here or a bed or any other means to ensure her wellbeing. I’ll behave myself, you have my word.’

Picard drew in a deep breath and then he turned to Troi. ‘Is he telling the truth?’ he asked.

She glanced to Lore, briefly, and then back to the Captain. ‘He is… for the time being. He will let us take her and look after her. I am unsure as to whether he will summon her again like this, however. Now he has proven that we cannot enforce distance between the two of them, I believe that he will yield that power as a tool… or even a weapon… whenever we attempt to help Kristen heal or remember who she used to be.’

Lore laughed. ‘Oh, you know how it is, Counselor. When you have a connection with someone, especially one that extends far beyond simple verbal communication, it’s rather hard to resist maintaining it.’

She glared at him. ‘How have you managed to secure a subliminal link to her? What did you do to her brain to make this possible?’ she asked.

‘I can no more explain that to you than you can explain to me how you read minds and sense emotions,’ he said, ‘or perhaps these subtleties share more than even I know. Who can say? I’m no more an expert on Empathy than you are on cybernetics.’

Picard was getting impatient. ‘Let us proceed then,’ he said, ‘Kristen, are you prepared to come with us?’

She turned her eyes up to his. ‘I suppose I must,’ she replied.

LaForge noted the sadness in that tone. If someone had told him just five or six weeks ago that Kristen would end up being Lore’s loyal and devoted pet, let alone a blood-eyed cyborg with incredible strength and power, he would have keeled over with disbelief. It felt like just yesterday that he and Data had been sat in his office, talking about how Data would propose marriage to her. It seemed like just ten minutes ago that the two of them had been joined at the hip, in love and carving out a future together.

_Ugh… this is appalling… no wonder Data has been in a freefall of depression since he switched his chip back on._

N’Dya and Picard exchanged a look. Then they both looked to Troi, no doubt wanting to ensure that she was reading this scene accurately, and when she nodded to them, N’Dya started to key in the numerical security code.

Kristen turned to Lore and when she leaned up for a goodbye kiss, she was gathered close and given that affection with gusto. LaForge couldn’t help but stare this time. What made the moment truly frightful was when he realised that though Kristen had closed her eyes to throw herself into that loving kiss, Lore had not. He was staring right at Captain Picard and when Picard realised it, Lore tipped him a playful wink.

 _You think you’re so damned clever,_ LaForge thought, _you think you’ve got all of us right where you want us, just because Kristen needs you. But you’re wrong. We’re going to figure this out and we’re going to save her. We’re going to find the real Kristen and we’re going to bring her back!_

The field lowered and at that, Lore broke the kiss and then he gave her a warm look. ‘Remember what I said?’

She nodded. ‘Yes. I won’t hurt anyone. I will co-operate with these people,’

‘Good. Don’t worry, Kristen. I’ll see you very soon.’

She held a weak smile and then she obeyed when he told her silently to leave him. Moving slowly, Kristen crossed the threshold and as soon as she was over it, the forcefield was reactivated. Troi went to her, seemingly wanting to check that Kristen was alright, but the girl was sulking now and didn’t want to be fussed. She turned and walked out of the brig and so Troi went after her immediately.

Picard watched them go and then turned to Lore again. ‘You will see her as soon as I decide that such a meeting will not be detrimental to her,’ he snapped.

Lore’s expression was even more amused. He took a seat once more and then he leaned on his elbow in an irritatingly casual fashion. ‘Is that so? I wouldn’t throw such words around, Picard. I could reactivate those internal alerts at any moment and she’d tear down walls to get to me. She could do that, if motivated. I’ve asked her not to hurt your crew, but if I summon her to me, she will tear holes throughout your ship to be by my side,’

‘If you care for her, then you will refrain from manipulating her that way,’

‘If _you_ care for her, then you won’t push me to things I would rather not do.’

Exasperated and stuck at that stage, when so much was still left to work out and arguing was regressive rather than progressive, Picard shot Lore a cold look and then he and N’Dya moved away from the forcefield. ‘Can you repair the damage to the ceiling?’ Picard asked.

LaForge nodded. ‘Yes, Sir. It might take me a while, but I’ll get it fixed.’

There was a little more small talk and then the two officers left and LaForge was left alone with Lore. He knew that N’Dya would be standing outside, along with other security staff, but it wasn’t all that consoling. He set up the collapsible ladder he’d brought with him and then, pointedly not looking beyond the purple glow of the forcefield, he took the relevant tools from his kit and got to work immediately.

He expected for Lore to tease him or to try and distract him in some way but for the first hour he was concentrating on fusing the shredded metal back together, the room was silent save for the sizzle of soldering equipment. Two hours in and LaForge was starting to feel a little paranoid. He turned his gaze in Lore’s direction for the first time and saw that he was definitely being watched. Lore was still lounging where he sat but his yellow eyes were staring right at him.

‘Something on your mind, LaForge?’ he asked.

‘Several things, not that I’m about to enter into a conversation with you,’ was the reply.

Lore laughed to himself. ‘I can probably deduce for myself what you’re thinking,’

‘I’m sure you’re right.’ LaForge soldered more rips in the ceiling.

‘As a colleague of Kristen, you think that what I’ve done to her is hideous. As a colleague of the others, you think that what I did to them was evil. As Data’s best friend and trusty sidekick, you think that-’

‘Lore.’ LaForge looked to him again. ‘I do not want to talk to you. You can try to rile me up as much as you want, but you’re going to be completely ignored. Not only am I on-duty with one hell of a lot of work on my hands, but I also have literally nothing to say to you. I can imagine how bored you must get in here, how lonely you must be when completely isolated, but if you’re looking for sympathy on this ship then you’re going to be sorely disappointed. Now, shut up.’

Lore might have been smirking at those words or he may even have looked slightly annoyed at being snapped at, but LaForge wouldn’t know because he’d turned his attention back to his work and was concentrating more fiercely than ever. He waited for an acerbic response or even for more antagonism but none came. 

The brig was silent for one more hour in full and by then, the damage on the ceiling had been mended and it was time for LaForge to return to engineering for other duties. He took the ladder down, put his tools away and then prepared himself to leave.

‘Wait. I’ve got a question to put to you,’ Lore said, ‘a serious one. No jokes. No sarcasm.’

LaForge had just reached the doors. With a sigh, he turned around. ‘What?’

The corner of Lore’s mouth twitched with a small smile. ‘Just how badly has this business messed up my brother?’ 

Anger swirled inside of LaForge like a red fire.

‘How badly is he hurting? Is his mind destroyed? Is he pining constantly for her? Does it break Data’s heart to know that Kristen wants me instead of him?’

LaForge shook his head. ‘You’re worse than evil. There are no words to describe what you are,’ he snarled.

‘Thank you for responding. It’s good to know that Data is finally getting a little taste of the rejection I’ve had all my life,’ Lore snapped back.

Unable to stay there for a moment longer, LaForge got out of the brig. He ignored the enquiries from the staff waiting outside and moved forwards down the corridor so quickly and with such mindless direction that it took him five minutes longer than usual to reach engineering. As soon as he was there, he put his tools away, handed the ladder to someone to put in storage and then he headed straight into his office and threw himself down on the chair behind his desk.

‘Maybe contacting Bruce Maddox wouldn’t be a bad idea,’ he said to himself, heart pounding with stress.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : All feedback is welcomed and appreciated! Thank you for reading.


	29. Tenebrous Shifts

Counselor Troi followed Kristen all the way back to her quarters and followed her inside them without being invited to. They hadn’t shared a word during their journey and it seemed that wasn’t going to change for the time being. Kristen went over to her bed, sat down on it and then she put her head in her hands. 

Troi kept her distance and gave the girl time, going over to replicate herself some hot chocolate with extra cream. Once she had it, she took it over to a chair in the corner of the room and sat down. Some time did indeed pass without any conversation but that didn’t mean that Troi couldn’t hear what Kristen was thinking. Her mind was filled with feelings and reflections.

_Lore asked me to stay with these people… and I agreed that I would because I’ll do anything he wants me to, but… that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. When we’re apart, I hurt. I’m not as strong as he is. I need him more than he needs me. He’s had so much more time around other people in his life and I have had none at all. Before we were captured, all I knew was Lore. All I had was him. Since the date of my activation, each and every day I’ve lived has revolved around him and now? Now, I have nothing but the orders he gives me. I’m lonely and I’m scared and I know I cannot trust these people._

_I’d give anything in the world for us to be back at Terlina III. I was happy there. Lore and I were happy there, together. Life was perfect._

Troi frowned and suddenly lost her taste for hot chocolate. She put the cup down on a nearby table and then rubbed her arm absent-mindedly, trying to shake off the discomfort she felt at overhearing Kristen’s neediness. She watched her with great concern on her face, wondering if it was possible to reach her on the same subliminal level that Lore could reach her. 

_I might as well try… Kristen? Can you hear me? Can you hear what I’m saying?_

Kristen continued to sit in her hunched over position and if she was receiving that psychic communication, she was completely ignoring it. Actually, Troi knew that if those words had entered Kristen’s mind, then she would have been able to sense a note of surprise. There was nothing at all. Clearly, the silent communication between Kristen and Lore was on a technological level rather than a mental one. His positronic brain was sending out signals that her grafts were able to pick up and vice versa. She’d wondered about these things before but now she was certain. 

More time spanned out. 

It was a relief when her comm badge chirruped and she heard Captain Riker saying her name. She stood up and went into another room so she could speak freely. ‘Troi here. Are you back on the _Titan_ , Will?’

‘I was for a time but now I’m with Captain Picard in his ready room. I wanted you to know that the bodies of the deceased have been returned to their home planets. The families are grieving, of course,’

‘Of course. I can hardly imagine what they’re going through. My heart goes out to them,’

‘I hope we never have to know that kind of pain. Jean-Luc has just brought me up to speed as to what happened today. How is Kristen now?’

‘She’s… well, she’s quite down at the moment. I believe that being reunited with Lore for a time was good for her but now that they’ve been separated she is feeling as lonely and bereft as before. I’m going to stay with her,’

‘Alright, Deanna. I’ll check in with you tomorrow. I love you,’

‘I love you too, Imzadi,’ 

‘Riker out.’

Troi tapped her badge again and then she took a moment for herself. Needing a minute or two to breathe and level her thoughts, she did just that and then she returned to the sleeping area. Kristen was laid on her side and her knees were drawn up to her chest. Her eyes were closed too. Remembering that she had told Lore she wouldn’t hurt anyone, and that she had sensed those words were true, Troi went over and sat down by her side. 

Kristen wasn’t riding out the tides of depression, instead she had fallen asleep. Troi wasn’t surprised, after all that had happened. She was exhausted and spent by all of these difficult events. She sat up again and when she’d fetched a blanket, she went back to her chair and curled up there. Kristen wasn’t the only one who was exhausted. 

Troi watched her ex-colleague for a long time and then, when her eyelids began to get heavier and heavier, she didn’t fight it. Soon, she too was fast asleep.

*

Commander Data had returned to duty and because of the stationary position of the ship and a lack of missions to investigate or research, he had turned his attentions to the most boring and perfunctory tasks he could possibly find. He catalogued inventories, ran through crew assessments and performed diagnostics on equipment that really did not need to be performed, and was relieved when his colleagues left him to his own devices. 

Some of these tasks required him to visit different areas of the ship but mainly, he kept to the workstation in his quarters, glad to have only Spot for company. In private, he did not have to receive the looks of curiosity and sympathy he’d been getting from his fellow officers. In private, he could be himself. 

As he worked, he maintained a blank façade but beneath his concentration, there was a tangle of feelings that had only worsened since he’d reactivated his emotion chip. Captain Picard had said that time was a healer but that much was proving to be false, or at least so far. Each hour that passed only hurt more and to know that Kristen was on the ship and that their lives together were no longer aligned was quite impossible to handle. 

Still, Data knew that he was in fact handling it. 

He had not approached Kristen of his own accord, had not tried to talk to her or send her a message and, since her violent outburst in the brig, had not seen her at all. He wouldn’t confess this to his colleagues, but though he had definitely entertained satisfying notions of going to Lore in the brig and forcibly dismantling him whilst he was still fully conscious and able to feel some degree of pain, he hadn’t done that either. Data had returned to duty with stoicism and grace and had kept all his suffering internalised, save for those first waves of grief that Captain Picard had witnessed.

Though he might be behaving in a professional manner and not directly involving himself in the situation at hand, Data was definitely concerned as to how he would cope long-term. Another thing he would not share with the others was over the course of the current day, he had thought of leaving Starfleet on four separate occasions. It was dramatic but so were his feelings. There had been moments where he would have done anything to be away from this nightmare, anything at all, even ending his career.

He had also wondered if he should beam over to the _Titan_ just so he could be somewhere his evil brother and ex-fiancée were not. It was impossible that he would cross Lore’s path on the corridors of the _Enterprise_ but Data could not rule out seeing Kristen. Nor could he predict if he would be required to restrain her again.

Another matter at hand was that he still hadn’t contacted Kristen’s family. He fully expected that Robert Harper would ask him just what he’d been thinking when he’d let her leave the ship when he knew, deep down, that something was amiss. He expected too that he would be blamed and in a severely masochistic fashion, Data wanted that. He wanted to be yelled at and blamed and punished for allowing Kristen to come to harm. His friends on the _Enterprise_ were being far too kind and forgiving.

Realising he was far too distracted to work, Data sat back in his seat and released a sigh. Spot stirred from her place on the console and moved over to him immediately, likely thinking that his break in concentration meant that she would be fed soon or given attention. She climbed onto his lap and padded her paws there for a while, purring already, and Data let his gaze fall to her. She rubbed her little head against his forearm and at that, he lifted a hand and ran his fingers through her fur. He had no motivation to feed her or play with her, but for now just these moments were peaceful.

_I do not deserve to feel peaceful. I do not deserve affection. I deserve only solitude and to be punished for my hand in these circumstances. I deserve only pain._

Data lifted Spot and put her down on the floor. She tried to jump back up immediately but he then surprised himself by snapping at her, telling her to leave him alone. The cat froze for a moment, startled by such a frosty tone coming from an owner she had only ever known to be kind and quiet, and then she darted off out of sight.

Annoyed at himself, Data almost went after her so he could see if she was alright but then he was distracted by an incoming message on his console. He turned and as soon as he saw that it was Robert Harper, he felt his face contort with alarm. He was not at all prepared to speak to Robert but at the same time he knew that if he denied the contact, he would feel guiltier than ever. He stared at the screen in front of himself for a long time and then, upon accepting that he had no choice but to respond, he pressed the relevant key.

Robert was not his usual self, for his face was serious and so were his eyes. ‘Hey there, Data,’ he said.

‘Greetings,’ Data replied, knowing his tone was tight.

‘Is everything okay over there? I’ve been trying to reach my sister for the longest time and she’s not replying. I mean, I know you two must have your hands full with wedding plans and that you’re both always busy with your duties, but I’m starting to worry. Is Kristen alright?’

Data wanted to turn his gaze elsewhere but could not stop staring at Robert.

‘Data? Is Kris alright? Where is she?’

‘A… great deal of events have occurred since we last spoke,’ Data managed.

‘Right… so are you going to tell me what’s going on or do I have to beg? Come on, man. Talk to me, will you? We’re practically family now, aren’t we?’

_Not anymore…_

‘I do not know where to begin. There is a lot that you need to be made aware of. I have wanted to contact you but… as I promised you that I would take care of Kristen and prevent any harm befalling her, I have not known how to approach this situation with you or how to explain to you what has happened.’

Robert’s brows crashed together. He blinked a few times and then he turned around, asking for Katie to take Brinn into another room so he could have some privacy. When they were gone, he turned back to the screen again. ‘Out with it,’ he said, ‘right now, Data. Is my sister dead? Where the hell is she?’

‘She is not dead. I will attempt to explain…’

Data began with the child psychology conferences. He explained, as honestly as he could bear, that though he had supported Kristen in furthering her qualifications and education, he had been unsure about her leaving the _Enterprise_. Despite those misgivings, he had let her go and for the four weeks she had been absent, he had received what he believed to be contact from her that came just regularly enough for him to not be suspicious. 

When he came to the part in the tale where the _USS Titan_ had arrived and Counselor Troi and Captain Riker had boarded the ship to reveal there had never been any conferences, he felt his whole body tightening with anxiety.

‘So where was she? Oh God, she wasn’t cheating on you was she?’ Robert asked, getting annoyed, ‘if she lied about those conferences so she could go off with someone else, I’ll bloody kill her!’

_Close to the bone, close to the truth, and yet… not close at all._

‘She was kidnapped,’ Data said, ‘my brother Lore took her and her fellow officers to a planet where our creator lived some years ago. He held them there at a laboratory and… he began to experiment on them…’

‘What… is this all true?’

‘Completely,’

‘What sort of experiments are we talking about here?’

Data found that he couldn’t say the words. He tapped some more buttons on his console and then he sent through all of the facts and information that had been gathered about the situation so far. Reports made by himself and by Captain Picard, Counselor Troi and others were sent over to Robert then and when they arrived, Data sat and watched as they were opened and read. 

Robert’s face became ashen with shock as realisation sank into him and he put his hands on the edge of his desk so he could keep himself upright. ‘So she’s a… she’s a…’

‘She is a fusion of organic and synthetic. She is a cyborg. Memories of her previous life have been erased and replaced with false memories of times with Lore. She does not recall any of her time spent on this ship, any of the crew here or even her family. You and I are strangers to her now. Kristen is an entirely new being,’ Data said, his voice wavering with sadness.

‘This is too much. Have you any idea what this means?’ Robert said.

‘I am still attempting to process the meaning of it all and any reasonable conclusions are still far beyond my grasp,’ Data replied.

‘Are you okay? Damn it, Data… why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?’

‘I had no intention to withhold information from you. I wanted to-’

‘Data, seriously, are you _okay?_ ’ Robert asked.

‘I do not believe it is appropriate for you to concern yourself with my wellbeing. Had I prevented her from leaving the ship, she would never have been injured this way. I am to blame for all that has happened to her,’ Data said.

‘How would you have been able to prevent any of this? I know you’re going through hell right now but blaming yourself is bloody ridiculous! Your brother is the one who has turned her into what she is now, not you. So snap out of the mindset right now before I catch a shuttle over there and shake some damned sense into you!’ Robert yelled.

Data felt as though he’d been shaken already. His lips parted and he felt tears pool in the corners of his eyes. ‘I apologise,’ he said, quieter now, ‘I was not endeavouring to be a martyr, Robert. It is… I am… this entire experience has been… I am unable to…’

‘Do not apologise to me,’ Robert said, still pale with shock but also managing to keep himself together somehow, ‘I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at your brother. Where is Kris now? Is she alright?’

‘She is not in any danger and is not physically unwell. The positronic grafts, replacement limbs and ocular implants Lore fitted to her have fused to her body and though they cannot be removed now, they are not a threat to her safety. She has been assigned personal quarters and Counselor Troi has been watching over her. I have had limited contact with her since she returned. I switched my emotion chip off for a time because Captain Picard ordered me to but since I reactivated it, I have struggled to cope. I am still struggling to cope,’ Data replied.

‘Well, of course you are.’ Robert was speaking more softly now. ‘Not only should you have come to me with this news, you should also have come to me to talk about what this is doing to you. I am here for you, you know? Whether she remembers you or not, you’re still my friend and I still consider you to be family.’

Data wanted to feel guilty at those kind words but since Robert had shouted at him, it had startled him out of at least one dark layer of the fugue he’d been in and he felt a little strengthened by this show of camaraderie. ‘Thank you,’ he said, reaching to wipe a tear away from his left eye, ‘I was scared that you would hate me for this. I have hated myself for this since the moment I realised Kristen had been kidnapped,’

‘I’d probably blame myself too if something like this happened to Katie, but… it really isn’t your fault. I need to ask you a question, though. Why would your brother do these things? What’s wrong with the guy? Is he crazy?’

‘Yes, that approximation is accurate. Lore has never had stability of mind or balanced mental health, ever since his activation. Our creator, our Father, would have tried to rectify those issues but it was not meant to be. Before he could even consider helping him, Lore murdered him,’ 

‘Oh… God… I’m so sorry,’

‘Lore has killed a great many people over the years and even performed surgeries similar to the ones inflicted upon Kristen on rogue members of the Borg collective. It seems that Lore’s madness has worsened and that he is in a deeper psychotic state now than ever before. Captain Picard and the others are still trying to work out what will be done with him.’

Robert took a deep breath and then released it as a sigh. ‘Can’t they just switch him off? No disrespect, Data, I’m just throwing that out there,’

‘The situation is complicated. Kristen has formed a substantial bond to him due to the way he has programmed her and as such, we have to bear that in mind,’

‘She’s _attached_ to him?’

‘Yes. It is not her fault… but she has fallen in love with him and the feeling appears to be mutual.’

Robert’s expression then was a fusion of anger, disbelief, shock and disgust. ‘Data… how the hell are you still in uniform and doing your duties? I know you’re an android and you can exceed human capabilities and all that, but… I don’t understand how you’re coping. How are you not going mad?’

‘My duties have been a distraction. I am endeavouring to be strong and to behave as a Starfleet officer should.’

Blinking back tears of his own, Robert shook his head. ‘I’m going to come to you. I need to be there for you and for her. We’re family.’

Data tilted his head and then he wiped more tears away. ‘As much as I appreciate the offer, I believe that your presence might be detrimental. Kristen has no idea who any of us are. If you are here, she will not look at you and remember you. She will only become more confused and more depressed. She has been suffering a great deal of turmoil and to surround her with even more people who wish she was the woman she was before Lore kidnapped her would only endanger her fragile mental state. It is best that I keep my distance and that you do too,’ he said.

Robert ran a hand through his hair, rankled by those unfortunate truths. ‘Alright,’ he replied, ‘alright. I trust you. I believe you. But what can I do to help you out?’

‘You have helped me already,’ Data replied, ‘I do wish to apologise to you again, however, even though you do not want that. I am sorry that I failed to keep Kristen safe,’

‘It was out of your hands. I can’t offer forgiveness because I have none to give. You’re still thinking of her before yourself and that much is loud and clear to me. You’re still loyal to her and you still love her, don’t you?’ 

‘More than I could hope to express. I will never love anyone else,’

‘All I ask is that you keep in touch with me. Please message me as often as you can and let me know how all of this is panning out. If you need to vent, vent to me. I know this whole thing must be killing you inside because it’s killing me too,’

‘Yes…’

‘Also, don’t give up on her, Data. Remember that she’s being programmed to feel the way she feels. If you can reverse that programming in some way and help her to remember who she used to be, then surely the first memories she’s going to get are of all the happy times she’s spent with you. I’m her brother. I know what makes her tick. Kristen was never complete as a person until she met you and you became a couple. You’re the love of her life. What she’s feeling right now is a fantasy that’s been projected onto her. Don’t you agree?’

Data wanted to but he still had no idea of what had truly occurred between Lore and Kristen. He had no idea at all of how deep their feelings ran and what had turned them from adversaries to lovers. ‘I agree that there is still work to be done,’ he said, ‘and I will certainly keep in touch with you. Whenever there is a development, I will contact you and give you every detail I can.’

Robert nodded and then he ran a hand through his hair again, exhibiting how frazzled he was. ‘Don’t blame yourself anymore, either. If I find out you’re still punishing yourself for this tragedy, then I will catch a shuttle out there whether you like it or not and I _will_ shake you until you wake up and get some damned perspective,’ he said.

‘I will not blame myself,’ Data promised, ‘you have my word,’

‘Good. Okay, I need to go now. I need a stiff drink and then I need to contact my parents and Jason. They should know what’s happened, even if they’ve been estranged from Kris for a while,’

‘I understand. Thank you, Robert,’ Data said.

‘Anytime. I’ll speak to you soon. Robert out.’

The screen switched off. Data stayed motionless for a long time, just staring at where Robert’s face had been. His emotional state remained darksome but he had definitely been yanked out of self-blame. It was not a relief, but it did afford him some clarity. 

When he could, he got up from his workstation and then, realising that his duty shift had been over for an hour or so, he forgot work and let himself feel instead. He found Spot on the sofa in his lounge area and when he’d lifted her into his arms, he carried her through to the bedroom and held her close as he got onto the bed he had once shared with Kristen. He said sorry to Spot for being so cold to her and then he lay on his side and listened to the forgiving sound of her purr as more tears ran down his face.

Now that masochism was no longer a valid factor, the grief was more wide open than ever, like a knife that had been yanked out of a deep wound. Data remained in the most personal area of his quarters, punishing Lore in his mind and longing for Kristen, as hours passed him by. 

_Love… laughter… tenderness…_

_The roses… the journey through the ship… the engagement ring…_

_You might not remember those sacred things and you might not know me or want me anymore, Kristen, but I will forever love you._

_I will never give up on you, my beloved. You are still my soul mate._

*

Eight days after the _Enterprise_ had beamed Lore and Kristen over from the runabout and it felt as though no progress had been made at all. 

Counselor Troi did not attend the lengthy meetings that took place every day about the matter because she still wished to remain by Kristen’s side. She managed to get her to eat and to drink and to rest but their conversations were limited at best. As much as Kristen insisted that she didn’t trust Troi, she would sometimes lose herself in false nostalgia however and then she would wax lyrical about Lore to such extents that it was truly sickening.

As far as she was concerned, they were captives and had done no wrong and all they wanted was to be freed so they could get back into their shuttle and warp off for the little holiday Lore had promised her. The only times she appeared to be content was when speaking of him and though Troi didn’t show it, she was getting sick of the sound of his name. Kristen mooned over his ‘kindness’ and how he had taken such good care of her. Then, apparently realising she was saying too much to someone Lore had warned her not to trust, Kristen would grow quiet and sullen.

On the afternoon of the ninth day, Troi decided it was time that Kristen either took a bath or a sonic shower. She went into the bathroom and upon deciding that a long bath would be more comforting, she ran the water and then she swirled some sweet-smelling oils in there too, wanting it to be as appealing as possible. When she went through to Kristen, she mentioned that it was time she cleaned off. The girl stood up immediately with a curious look on her face.

‘I’ll be back in a moment,’ Troi told her, with a smile, ‘I’ll just check that the water’s not too hot for you and then I’ll let you have some alone time in there.’

Kristen narrowed her eyes and said nothing.

Troi went to turn the taps off, checked the temperature as she’d said she would, and then she retrieved some clean towels and wondered what else might be needed. When she had located shampoo and conditioner, she placed them at the side of the bath and then she decided to replicate some clean clothes for Kristen. Once she had some plain black trousers and a top that matched, she left them on a nearby shelf and turned to head back into the living area.

Kristen had taken off all of her clothes and stood there completely nude.

‘Oh!’ Troi cried, startled and embarrassed too. She turned around so her back was to her. ‘Kristen… why are you naked?!’

‘You said I had to take a bath…’ was the indifferent response.

‘Well, yes… but I expected that you would undress in the bathroom… when I had left you alone…’

‘What would be the purpose? I do not understand, Deanna.’

Troi frowned. ‘Do you have a modesty subroutine?’ she asked.

‘What is modesty?’

‘Access that term,’

‘Alright. Modesty… processing… processing…’

Troi left her mulling the word over whilst she went to fetch a large bath towel. When she returned with it, she kept her gaze fixed to the ceiling as she wrapped it around Kristen’s slender frame. Only when she was completely concealed by the blue fabric, did she walk Kristen through to the bathroom and sit her down on a chair.

‘Modesty is a regard for decency of behaviour, speech or dress. I still do not understand. Is nakedness something to be ashamed of, Deanna?’ she asked.

It was an interesting question for a Betazoid. ‘Not exactly,’ Troi replied, ‘some cultures are not at all uncomfortable with nudity. My own culture for example, prefers to conduct wedding ceremonies without clothes and it’s a tradition that goes back a long, long way. We’re very comfortable without clothes and content with our bodies too. Other cultures, however… think that nudity is something that should be kept private. It can be a very intimate matter.’

Kristen took that in. ‘So… I should not be naked around others?’

‘For now, I think it would definitely be wise to only take your clothes off when you’re alone.’

_I can only imagine the uproar if this had happened during one of Captain Picard’s visits. I can take such things in my stride but he would have not handled this well at all!_

‘I will behave appropriately,’ Kristen replied, ‘should I wash myself now?’

‘Yes, good idea. I’ll wait in the other room for you. I’ve set some clothes out for you, so dry yourself off when you get out of the bath and then get dressed,’ Troi replied, moving over to the door.

‘Alright. Thank you.’

Troi got out of there and puffed out her cheeks with a long exhale when the doors closed. In many ways, Kristen was childlike now and it was hard to take in. Many of the social skills she had been taught during her actual childhood and adolescence seemed to have been erased, along with practically all of her memories. There was no wonder at all that she was so reliant on Lore. It angered Troi intensely that he hadn’t given her a simple modesty subroutine. It made her even more dependent on him. 

Is that how low his self-esteem was? Not only did Lore have the desire to steal all of Data’s happiness away by kidnapping his partner and surgically altering her, he also had to make sure that Kristen needed him to extents that left her lost and clueless in practically all ways? 

This was more than vengeance, Troi knew. Lore wanted to feel needed. He wanted for Kristen to depend upon him so that there was a strong chance that she’d never want to leave him. That was why she was childlike now and obsessed with being by his side. 

_Pathetic… and yet… why am I thinking of how lonely and isolated he must be to want companionship that badly? What does it take for a person to be so chronically alone that they will literally force a person to be completely dependent on them? I know it’s abuse and I can never justify or forgive what has been done to Kristen, but these insights on Lore are invaluable._

There was a signal at the door then. Troi went to answer it and was pleased to see Doctor Crusher standing there. ‘Deanna. How are you?’ she asked.

‘How am I?’ Troi put back to her friend, ‘good question. I’m okay… I think,’

‘You look tired… did something happen?’

Troi couldn’t help but laugh a little. ‘You’d better come in.’

Crusher did so and they went through to the lounge area to sit down together. ‘So something did happen,’ Crusher said, bemused already.

‘I told Kristen it was bath time and when I came to retrieve her, she’d taken all of her clothes off and was stood there stark naked,’ Troi explained, ‘and I’m not laughing _at_ her, you understand… I’m just getting to the point where I don’t know what to expect next from her. At times I think all she’s capable of is obsessing over Lore and then she surprises me with something like this and I’m blindsided,’

‘Doesn’t she have a modesty subroutine?’ Crusher asked, half-smiling.

‘No. She didn’t understand the concept of modesty so I had to explain it to her,’

‘It’s a good job Jean-Luc wasn’t here. Can you imagine?’

Troi laughed again. She felt bad for feeling any degree of jocularity over these events, but at the same time it was truly cathartic to share a few humorous moments with a dear friend. ‘He would have been out of here faster than you could say “inappropriate social conduct” and I could hardly blame him.’

Crusher rested a hand on Troi’s shoulder. ‘How are you really doing? I know this can’t be easy for you. You were very close to Kristen before all of this. You were her mentor for over a year, not to mention her good friend,’

‘Well, you were her friend too…’

‘Oh, I know. This is tough and I haven’t seen Kristen hardly at all.’

Troi sighed. ‘I’m really okay, I just wish I knew how to reach her. The closest I’ve ever come to a case like this is when Jean-Luc was captured by the Borg. Those times were dark and frightening… but he at least remembered himself when he was saved and mended. I know that recalling the worst of his experiences was detrimental whilst he was in the recovery process, but his sense of identity was never truly lost. Kristen was made into a blank canvas and then Lore painted all of his insecurities and desires onto her. She’s literally a puppet. How do I cut the strings?’

Crusher took her hand away. ‘Well, I’ve been sent here to give Kristen a sedative. When she’s unconscious, we’re expected at a meeting in the observation lounge. Hopefully, when we’re there, we can share ideas again and try to work out how to cut those strings effectively,’

‘These meetings have taken us nowhere so far. It’s like being caught in a temporal loop,’

‘I know, Deanna. But what else can we do?’

They were still discussing the matter when Kristen emerged from the bathroom. She was dressed, thankfully, and was openly shy as she hovered in the doorway. 

‘Hello Kristen,’ Crusher said, as she stood, ‘how are you today?’

Kristen’s eyes were glowing in the low lights and she was wary as she stepped forward. ‘I am clean now. I have washed my body and my hair,’

‘Great. Cleanliness is next to… well, something my Nanna used to say. How would you feel about taking an early night? Are you tired? Bath time always makes me tired.’

Distrustful but not entirely uncooperative, Kristen nodded. Crusher went over to her and Troi followed. As soon as Kristen was in the bedroom area, she climbed into bed and then she pulled the covers up and huddled herself within them. ‘When are you going to let us go?’ she asked, ‘when will you let us go home to the jungle and the lab?’

‘That’s not a question we can answer easily,’ Crusher replied, as she sat down by Kristen’s side.

Troi admired Crusher’s maternal warmth and how relaxed she was pretending to be. She could sense that Crusher was definitely guarded around Kristen, that she hadn’t forgotten the broken bones and sprains she’d had to mend because of her terrified and violent outbursts, but she was still doing her best to be helpful and kind.

‘Is Lore alright?’ Kristen asked.

‘He’s still in the brig and he’s well, as far as we know. Now, how about I give you a little shot to help you sleep?’ Crusher put to her.

Kristen opened her mouth as if to argue and then she caught herself and simply shrugged. ‘Okay.’

Crusher took out a hypospray and when she pressed it to Kristen’s neck, there was a hissing sound. ‘This will help you get some rest. Try and have sweet dreams, alright?’

‘Sweet dreams…’ Kristen murmured, her eyelids heavy already, ‘of Lore?’

‘Try and dream of something else tonight. How about dreams of making new friends on this ship?’

‘I’m not allowed to trust you…’ Kristen yawned and then she turned her face into her pillow and fell asleep.

Crusher stroked some hair back from her face, made sure she was tucked in and then she stood from the bed and she and Troi left her alone to rest. 

‘How about instead of me going to this meeting you give me one of those shots and I get some sleep too?’ Troi asked, only half-joking.

Crusher smiled at her. ‘Come on, Deanna,’ she encouraged, ‘let’s get this over with. You never know, we might think up something new this time…’

Troi smiled.

_I hope so, Beverly. Because all of our lives will be at a standstill until we do._


	30. Towards Clarity

As soon as Doctor Crusher and Counselor Troi had taken their seats at the observation lounge table, Captain Picard nodded to them in greeting and then suggested that another brainstorming session begin immediately. His colleagues exchanged glances and then there was a long pause. Riker stared off into the distance as he tried to think of a way to start. N’Dya and Worf both frowned. Crusher sighed. Troi lifted her shoulders in a subtle shrug. LaForge looked to Data and Data looked to Picard.

‘I take it we have reached an impasse?’ Picard asked.

‘All I know is that Kristen is the starting point,’ N’Dya said, ‘we can’t do anything with Lore until we’ve figured out a way to either suppress the connection they have or dissolve it entirely. If we attempt to try him or deal with his crimes, he’ll pull back his thumbnail and then Kristen will tear through the _Enterprise_ like an animal until they’re together again.’

Data looked up, his golden eyes tinged with hurt.

‘I’m sorry, Commander,’ N’Dya said, ‘I wish there was a more sensitive way to talk about this situation, but I don’t know how to sugarcoat it for you. If I did, I’d certainly try,’

‘I understand,’ Data replied.

‘Maybe we need input from Starfleet cyberneticists,’ LaForge suggested.

Picard could think of only one name when that area of expertise was referenced – Bruce Maddox – and that name left a sour taste in his mouth.

‘I was thinking the same thing,’ Riker agreed.

‘I’m not convinced that’s wise,’ Picard said, ‘you all know who the Associate Chair of Robotics at the Daystrom Technological Institute is and you also know what happened the last time our paths crossed. It might have been many years since Data’s trial but some people do not change and nor do their minds open with the passage of time. If we contact Maddox, he will treat Lore like a specimen. He will have him dismantled and stripped of his workings in no time,’

‘Is that such a bad thing?’ Riker asked.

Everyone turned to look at him. 

‘Will, how can you say that?’ Troi asked.

He gave her a determined look but that soon changed and then he was shaking his head. ‘Sorry. All I know is that I want Lore to pay for the murders and the surgeries and… everything else. When I consider those who can bring him the justice he deserves, Maddox is the first person who comes to mind.’

Picard understood but did not agree. ‘If we are ever to allow androids to achieve true sentience and independence, we cannot hand them over to those who misunderstand them and see them as mere technology whenever they fall short of our expectations. There is no doubt whatsoever that Lore is evil and corrupt, but that doesn’t mean that we should allow him to be treated as a walking circuit box with no feelings, no personality or no rights. Two or three or more wrongs do not and shall not ever make a right,’ he said.

‘Yes, Sir,’ Troi interjected, ‘but haven’t we been guilty of that in the past? We might not have treated him like a specimen, but we certainly did not consider his rights when we buried him on Terlina III,’

‘I agree. We were wrong. We should not have done that,’ Picard said.

Riker watched this exchange, listening. ‘We can’t win. We can’t imprison him and it seems that we can’t hand him over to the experts either. Surely the Daystrom Institute should at least be made aware of the situation?’

‘They won’t want to understand how complicated all of this is,’ Troi said.

‘Agreed. Should one of you change radically and become as malevolent as Lore is, do you believe that the correct course of justice should be for you to be submitted for brain surgery or other invasive procedures?’ Picard asked. 

Nobody spoke.

‘Should you be stripped of your rights, just because you are not functioning to the best of your abilities? We do not treat mentally unwell people as exhibits or curiosities. We do not anticipate that torture or malpractice will help the sick and nor do we remove ourselves from our responsibilities to those who are considered bad or dysfunctional. We examine them carefully and though their behaviour might enrage us at times, we do not demean them or push them in directions that might cause them harm.’

Troi released a deep breath and then she nodded. ‘That’s exactly how I feel about this, Captain.’ 

Picard glanced her way and then he considered each and every one of his staff in turn as he continued to speak. ‘Lore has injured all of us, over time, whether physically or psychologically… but that is not enough for me to degrade him or dismiss what and who he is. When all of us served together on the _Enterprise D_ , we fought for Data’s right to be treated with respect, to be considered as cognizant and sentient and real. If we cannot extend the same reasoning to Lore, then what was the point of that trial?’ 

Silence, uncomfortable but focused.

‘We were not fighting for Data only. We were fighting for _all_ artificial life to be treated as they should be treated. This is not a sentimental motion. This is about realising what is alive, what has soul, and what does not. Data has a soul and so does Lore. That said, under no circumstances will the Daystrom Institute or Bruce Maddox be involved in this situation and nor will we repeat old mistakes by dismantling Lore and keeping him in storage. He will be treated as any of us would be treated in these circumstances. Do we all understand that?’

There was a ripple of murmured agreements and several nods. Picard gathered himself internally, glad his point had been well made.

‘Kristen is the top priority here and until she can be reached, Lore must remain where he is and must not be tampered with,’ Troi said.

‘I agree. If we do anything that will aggravate him or make him feel threatened, she will know and she will suffer. If we anger him, he will use her against us however he can. This is a delicate situation and every forward step we take must be made with caution and readiness,’ Crusher added.

Data rested his hands on the table then and shifted forwards in his seat. ‘When are we going to attempt to tell Kristen the truth?’ he asked.

Picard looked to him. ‘Given that she doesn’t trust any of us, do you think that’s a good idea?’

‘I see no other option,’ Data replied, ‘until we attempt to show her the life she lived before she was captured, we are held in a stalemate position. Which is exactly what Lore wants. He would be entirely content to let this situation span out for years… and we cannot allow that. We must intervene.’

Picard had observed Data’s behaviour throughout several of these meetings as of late and until today, he’d been silent and withdrawn, not at all forthcoming with ideas or perspective. This was the first time he had offered a suggestion and though it did not hint at practicality or progress, Picard was not going to dismiss it. Data had rarely, if ever, let him down. He would always be open-minded as to his thoughts. 

‘Do you think we should sit her down and tell her precisely what has happened to her?’ he asked.

Data nodded. ‘Yes.’

LaForge winced. ‘She’ll think we’re lying…’

‘We can provide her with facts. We can allow her to read ship’s logs and a wealth of information as to her past. Everything she needs to know is already stored within the computer system. She can review personal correspondence, reports she made when serving as ship’s Counselor… her whole career and life to date is to hand,’ Data said.

Troi shook her head. ‘Yes, but these things can be manufactured. If she reads those reports and logs, she’ll assume we fabricated them and that it’s all lies. Facts aren’t as cold and hard as we’d like them to be and especially not with a situation like this.’

Data tilted his head. ‘Then… what do you suggest? We cannot continue to let her believe that she will be returned to Lore eventually and that they will be granted the right to leave the ship. We can never give her what she wants. What she needs is… reality. We are the only people we can provide her with that. I believe we should.’

Picard considered that and so much more, wondering if Data’s suggestion was perhaps a better one than he’d originally thought. Nine days of nurturing had been given to Kristen and not a minute of it had helped her. All she wanted was Lore. But beneath her programming, there surely remained a whisper of who she used to be. ‘I can see no other way to proceed. We have to take her out of her comfort zone and though it will be difficult for her and painful too, we need to move forwards,’ he said.

Riker frowned. ‘And if she thinks we’re trying to trick her?’

‘We persevere,’ Picard said, ‘we work harder. We do all we can to heal Lieutenant Harper so that her dignity and sense of self is restored.’

Data’s expression was touched with determination then. ‘We have to try. We owe it to her. We have to bring her back.’

‘Should I bring her now?’ N’Dya asked.

‘No. She’s sedated and resting. But tomorrow morning might be a good time. I’ll come with her and we can show her all of the information that Data suggested,’ Troi said.

Picard nodded. ‘Alright. We have a plan. I will see you all here at 09:00 hours.’

Now that the meeting was adjourned, those around the table stood up and left the room, talking amongst themselves. Picard was distracted for a moment and it surprised him a little when he realised that Data was still sitting there. He looked to him and asked him a silent question with raised eyebrows.

‘I wished to thank you for the support you have showed me, Sir,’ Data said.

Picard gave him a small smile. ‘No thanks are needed, Number One. How are you feeling?’

‘I believe that I am functioning better than I was several days ago. I spoke to Kristen’s brother Robert and that was a very difficult exchange. Breaking the news to him was… painful… for both of us, but once I realised that he did not hold me responsible for what has occurred, it aided me in leaving behind some of my guilt,’ Data replied.

‘That’s a relief,’ Picard replied, ‘you do seem more level now,’

‘The grief I am carrying is ever-present but I am managing to stabilise myself when it threatens to overwhelm me. When it becomes too much, I recall the support I have been offered by yourself, by Counselor Troi, Geordi and Robert… and I also try to focus on how Kristen… the real Kristen… would want me to behave. When I concentrate on those factors, my pain becomes dull inside of sharp. It never leaves but I am able to manage it,’

‘Good. You’re stronger than I think you know,’

‘Kristen would not want me to break down or give up. She would want me to be strong and remain strong as I work on finding a way to help her,’

‘You’re absolutely right. We will help her, Data. I know it won’t be easy and that for the time being, Lore is orchestrating much of this and continuing to manipulate her, but it cannot go on forever, as you pointed out during the meeting. I’m unsure as to how Kristen will respond to the truths we need to show her, but as difficult as it will be for her, she needs to come back to reality. I do believe that your suggestion is the best thing for her. I just hope that the resulting stress will not be counter-productive.’

Data stood from his chair, pushed it under the table and then thought for a moment. ‘We are in the eye of the storm, Sir,’ he said.

Picard felt the same. ‘Yes, we most certainly are… but though the seas are choppy and dark right now, we have a sturdy vessel and the finest crew in the fleet. We will prevail.’

They shared a look and then Data sighed. ‘I hope so…’

‘Hope will keep all of us afloat until the worst is over,’ Picard replied.

Data nodded and then he turned and left the observation lounge. Picard watched him go and then he turned to look at the stars beyond the windows. 

*

It took over an hour for Troi to convince Kristen to accompany her out of her quarters the following morning. At first, she insisted that she would only leave if she was going to be taken to Lore and was incredibly petulant when Troi told her that wasn’t going to be possible.

‘You know I can reach him if I want to,’ Kristen said, her arms folded and her brows knitted in a deep frown, ‘I could be with him in minutes if he summoned me. I could be there in minutes even if he didn’t. Keeping us apart like this is stupid. We are meant to be together.’

Troi sat down next to her on the sofa with a patient smile. ‘All I am asking you to do is come with me to a meeting. My colleagues and I have some information about your past that I think you might be interested in.’

Kristen rolled her eyes. ‘I have no past. Lore created me. He is the only who knows me,’

‘That’s not true,’ Troi replied, ‘please, give this a try? Even if only for a few minutes?’

At that, Kristen’s petulance turned to irritation and so she stood up. ‘I see that I have to. You won’t desist in nagging me unless I go with you. So take me there and be quick about it, Deanna.’

Troi hoped that her mood might soften somewhat during their journey through the ship, but it did not. Kristen’s face was twisted in annoyance with every step she took and when they were in a turbolift together, she hissed at a couple of Ensigns who had dared to look her way. As soon as they stopped at deck twelve, the Ensigns shot out of there immediately and didn’t dare to look back. The doors closed again and the journey continued. 

Outside of the observation lounge, Troi took Kristen’s arm and gently pulled her to a standstill. ‘What is it?’ Kristen snapped.

‘I want you to take a few deep breaths before we go in there,’

‘What is the point?’

‘Because I can sense great anger and even some fear in you right now and slowing down your breathing might be useful. Please, just breathe in and out deeply a few times, and focus on me whilst you do it.’

Rolling her eyes again, Kristen did as she was told. Troi was disappointed when the action didn’t seem to help the girl at all. If anything, her fear was mounting all the more and as it mingled with her confusion, it was causing her heart rate to increase. If only Troi could convince Kristen that the only person currently on the ship who had ever wished her harm was Lore and that she and the others would never and could never hurt her. 

‘Shall we go in?’ she asked, ‘I’ll stay with you.’

Kristen shrugged.

Given that they were at least forty minutes late for the meeting, everyone else had been there for a while and had been making conversation amongst themselves to pass the time. Any and all discussion ceased immediately when they entered and Captain Picard stood up. ‘Good morning,’ he said, tugging his uniform tunic into place, ‘won’t you join us?’

Kristen moved a little closer but as soon as her eyes fell on Data, she bared her teeth. ‘Not whilst Not-Lore is here,’ she snarled, ‘I am _not allowed_ to be near him. I want him to go.’

Data fixed Kristen with an unreadable look and then he slowly turned to look at Picard. ‘I will leave,’ he said, ‘I do not wish to make her feel uncomfortable,’

‘I’m afraid that it’s my discretion as to who attends this meeting, Number One,’ Picard said. Then he looked to Kristen again. ‘Now, please take a seat.’

‘I will not,’ Kristen shot back, ‘make him _leave!_ ’

Picard frowned in disapproval but Data stood up and made the decision for him. Without a word, he crossed the room and then he was gone. Troi felt an ache in her heart for Data and decided that as soon as this meeting was over, she would go to him and check that he was alright, which of course he wouldn’t be. There was no way he wasn’t hurting.

Kristen pulled a seat out at the very end of the table and then sat down. ‘What do you want?’ she asked.

Troi sat next to her. ‘We have some information for you, as I said earlier. Now, much of this is not going to be easy for you to hear, but-’

‘Get on with it,’ Kristen snapped.

Troi could sense that she was utterly terrified and that her anger was just a front. The girl was way out of her depth and about to get far deeper. 

Captain Picard took his seat once more. ‘There is no… sensitive… way to commence with these proceedings, Kristen. If there was, then I assure you that we would be as gentle as we could. As it is, the truths we are about to give to you are going to be shocking and likely uncomfortable for you hear. But we will support you and will not push you further than you can handle. It might feel impossible that you can extend any trust to us, but I assure you that we mean you no harm and that all of this is designed to benefit you and bring you clarity and healing.’

Kristen worried her bottom lip with her teeth. ‘Hmm…’

‘Shall I continue?’ he asked.

She shrugged.

‘Kristen… you have not always been the person that you are now. In fact, when you were beamed aboard the _Enterprise_ , it was as shocking for us as it was for you. That is because you used to live here. Some time ago, you were a part of my crew,’ he said.

Troi moved closer to Kristen, but didn’t speak. Crusher was watching them with concern in her eyes. Worf and N’Dya were observing them too, as were Riker and LaForge. 

‘This ship has been your home for a long time. The only reason why you believed Terlina III to be your home is because Lore programmed you to believe as such,’ Picard continued.

‘No…’ Kristen whispered.

‘It’s true,’ Crusher said, in a careful tone, ‘you used to be the head Counselor on this ship but you were kidnapped by Lore and he altered you. Before you had cybernetic limbs and eyes and positronic implants grafted to your brain, you were completely human.’

Kristen swallowed hard. ‘A… real girl?’

Troi felt a flicker of something from within her, a blend of horror and interest. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘a real girl. When you and I first met, you had graduated from Starfleet Academy and were assigned to me as a protégé. We hit it off as colleagues and then we became friends. We spent a lot of time together and got to know one another very well,’

‘You worked primarily as a Counselor for your first stint of service and then you were included in several missions,’ Picard added, ‘I promoted you from junior Lieutenant to full Lieutenant grade because of how you impressed me with your dedication and hard work. When Troi and Riker moved on in their careers, you were promoted again to Chief Counselor. You had a career and a strong position on my ship. You had a life here. A good one.’

Kristen started to tremble. ‘Lore told me not to trust you… all of this is… you’re lying…’

‘We’re not lying,’ Troi said, ‘ask yourself, Kristen… why do you think we came to find you in the first place? Why would you matter to us if we did not know you?’

‘Because… because…’

‘I understand that this must sound highly improbable,’ Picard said, ‘but all we are telling you is true. Lore kidnapped you and he performed surgeries on you to make what you have become. Before he did those things, you were someone else entirely. Would you like to see some proof?’

Kristen’s eyes were fearful. ‘What proof could you possibly have?’

LaForge pointed to the comm screen on the wall. When Kristen followed that gesture with her gaze, she was able to see reams of information. Curious, she stood from her seat and went over there. She looked at her personnel record and inhaled a sharp breath. There was a photograph of her, as she used to be, and almost every detail she could ever wish to know about her career and life. 

‘You’re probably thinking that we’ve created these records,’ LaForge said, ‘but all we did was pull this file up from the ship’s computer. All of us in this room have records that are the same. Nothing has been tampered with, nothing has been invented. We have more for you to look at too. Keep reading.’

Kristen’s hands moved to her mouth as she read log entries she’d made, none of which involved anything to do with her love life, but was still comprehensive with information as to her role on the ship, her disappearance and medical reports on what had been done to her. There was correspondence between herself and her brother Robert and lists of meetings she’d had with patients in her office. Then there were lists of random things, such as when and where she had taken shore leave, holodeck programs she preferred and even reports she herself had made on missions. 

Picard stood and went to her side. ‘You belong here on the _Enterprise_ ,’ he said to her, softly so, ‘and we are very glad to have you back. You’re not a prisoner here, Kristen, you are part of a team. My team. That is precisely why we wish you no harm or ill will. Our intention is to help you remember who you used to be. The person you are now is a figment, a fantasy. It is not your fantasy, but Lore’s.’

She slowly turned her head and looked at him. ‘But why would Lore do such things?’

‘That’s where the matter becomes more complicated. Forgive me for not wanting to tell you more today, but I believe that you know enough for now and that you should be given some time to process these facts,’

‘Lore would never, ever hurt me,’ she argued, tears forming in her eyes.

‘I’m afraid he has hurt you already. He had reasons of his own to kidnap you and hurt you and that is exactly what he did. Please believe me. He is not your keeper, but your abuser.’

Kristen shook her head. ‘He told me that you would try to manipulate me… that’s all this is. You’re trying to come between us. You hate us!’

Troi jumped up and moved over there. As soon as she reached her, she took Kristen’s am. ‘We couldn’t hate you if we tried,’ she said, ‘the reason why you think that we’re lying to you is that Lore has brainwashed you. He erased your memories of the past and then he programmed you to believe that he’s all you have. That’s a falsity. He might have developed feelings for you during the time he had you held captive, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t hurt you and tortured you and all of that abuse has-’

Pulling back, Kristen started to move away. ‘Lore would _never_ hurt me!’ she yelled.

N’Dya stood up then and put his hand to his phaser.

‘Wait,’ Picard said, ‘Kristen won’t hurt any of us. Lore told her not to.’

Troi tried to follow the girl as she backed away towards the other side of the room. ‘Don’t run from us. Take some more deep breaths and then all of us will sit down together and we’ll talk about this. We’ll answer any questions you might have and we’ll tell you the complete truth. Stay with us. Don’t run away.’

Kristen’s hand was shaking as she pointed at her and then Picard. ‘You’re all evil!’ she cried, ‘you… you’re the kidnappers here! Lore and I were fine before you stole us away! I won’t let you come between him and me! I won’t let you do this!’

She turned then and raced through the observation lounge doors. 

‘Shall I go after her?’ N’Dya asked.

Picard shook his head. ‘No. You wouldn’t be able to keep up with her or restrain her, Lieutenant. Let’s put a trace on her for now and see where she goes,’

‘She’ll go to Lore,’ Crusher said.

‘I’m sure she will. For now, let’s all sit down and wait.’

Troi’s heart was in her throat but somehow she managed to sit. Captain Picard did the same and then the others followed. The computer was asked to put a trace on Kristen and everyone listened carefully as they were informed as to the route she was taking. Like the last time she’d careened through the ship alone, she didn’t use turbolifts. She entered a Jefferies tube and then she descended through the decks until she was at the brig.

‘I knew it,’ Crusher said, with a deep sigh.

‘We all did,’ N’Dya added, his jaw set in annoyance.

‘What do we do?’ Riker asked.

‘We retrieve her,’ Picard said, standing up. ‘N’Dya, Worf and Riker, you’re with me. Crusher, you may return to sickbay. LaForge, you have the bridge. Troi, please visit with Commander Data and see how is. Now, let’s go.’

*

Counselor Troi tapped her comm badge as soon as she was out of the observation lounge and walking briskly down the corridor. ‘Troi to Data. Where are you?’

‘Data Here. I am in my lab,’

‘I’m on my way,’

‘As you wish.’

The cybernetics lab he’d had on the _Enterprise D_ had come in useful many times and yet Troi had never seen the one he had on this ship. She’d never had cause to visit him there, even before she and Riker had moved their lives over to the _Titan_. When she arrived and he answered her signal at the door, she found it wasn’t unlike the old one. This one was perhaps a touch larger and with equipment that was visibly advanced, but she recognised many of the features. 

He was standing at a console and reading some sort of information read-out. ‘You have come to check on me,’ he correctly presumed, not looking up.

Troi went to him. ‘Absolutely. I have to say, I thought you might be in your quarters or maybe the holodeck… are you okay? What are you doing here?’

‘I am researching the Borg,’ Data replied, ‘as they are part organic and part synthetic, I thought it might be worthwhile to study how they function on a psychological level. They recall nothing of their previous lives when they are connected to the hive mind, but some have experienced flashbacks once they have been rescued and disconnected.’

She had expected him to be in a terrible state but that he was working hard on helping Kristen, even when she had directed hatred at him, was surprising and uplifting too. ‘Can I help?’ she asked.

‘I do not believe so but the offer is appreciated,’ he replied.

Troi nodded.

‘Where is Kristen currently?’

‘The meeting didn’t go to plan. We tried to tell her the truth but she got scared and ran away. Captain Picard and Will and the others have gone to fetch her,’

‘From the brig?’

‘Yes…’

‘Ah.’

Troi decided not to say anything for a little while. She let Data concentrate on what he was reading for several minutes, wondering which direction she should take with him. She wanted to show him some support but he was far too engrossed in his research and so she decided not to coddle him with sympathy and just waited for him to speak to her instead.

Eventually, he did. ‘Deanna, do you recall when we rescued Captain Picard after the battle of Wolf 359?’ He glanced her way. ‘When you and I worked together to make contact with him?’

‘Of course. He was Locutus at first but then you connected yourself to him and…’ She trailed off and her dark eyes widened. ‘I know what you’re thinking. I know _exactly_ what you’re thinking and it’s brilliant, Data. I know what we need to do.’

Data nodded to her and then turned back to his console. ‘We cannot reach the human part of her without accessing the machine,’

‘Yes, exactly!’

He did not share her excitement, but his golden eyes were definitely carrying motivation instead of heartache for a change. It was enough for Troi to smile to herself. 

*

Lore looked up when he heard a grating, clanging sound overhead. He’d been in a deeply introspective mood and as he hadn’t expected to see Kristen again until he’d summoned her directly, he was surprised when she undid LaForge’s work on the ceiling and then lowered herself down through the hole she’d made. 

When she hit the floor, she landed in a crouch. She sniffed the air like a predator, fixed her gaze on his and then she crawled over to where the security field shimmered. She looked as though she was in shock even though she hadn’t been physically injured. Her hair was dishevelled and her whole body was shaking.

‘Kristen,’ Lore said, standing up, ‘what happened to you? Are you alright?’

‘They took me into a room… and they told me lies,’ she said, her eyes filled with pain.

‘What did they say to you?’

‘They said that I lived here in the past and that I was part of the crew. They said that you kidnapped me and that you hurt me… I know none of it is true… but I’m conflicted because I do not understand why they would attempt to fill my head with such horrible accusations. Why do they hate you, Lore? Why?’

He moved closer and then he sat down on the floor, opposite to where she was. The field was sparking with violet light and Lore wished he had the means to reach beyond it so he could hold onto his sweet, fragile creation and soothe her with kisses. ‘I’ll tell you why they hate me. It’s because they are on Data’s side. They don’t care about the terrible things he has done to me,’ he said.

‘What did he do to you?’ she asked, tears running down her cheeks.

‘Oh, many things. When he and I met for the first time, he ejected me into space. I was left there for two years, just drifting,’

‘No…’ 

‘Yes. Data was our Father’s favourite. He was always put before me, always treated with respect and kindness and love. I was taken to pieces every time I made a mistake,’

‘How could they do that to you?’ Kristen was appalled.

‘I wish I knew. That’s not the worst of it. When there was an accident and Data’s legs were destroyed, they stole mine and gave them to him. Then, when they decided that the rest of me was useless, they buried me in a grave as though I was a dead man,’ he revealed.

Kristen put her head in her hands and sobbed, her shoulders trembling. ‘No… how could they? How could they hurt you?’

Lore watched her, completely unused to seeing someone feel such pain for his personal circumstances. He hated to see her cry, but was also fascinated by the sight of someone he loved showing him such love in return. Clearly, the things he’d told her had hurt her deeply. Again, he wished he could be close to her so he could comfort her, comfort them both, but if either one of them tried to cross the field completely their circuits would be shorted out. 

‘Kristen,’ he said, trying to keep the emotion from his voice, ‘look at me, my sweet.’

She sobbed and sobbed and then, when she could catch her breath, she raised her face and looked into his eyes. ‘I’ll kill anyone who h-hurts you like t-that!’ she said, tears now washing down her face, ‘if anyone ever _dares_ to t-take you apart or steal your limbs or bury you in the g-ground, I will kill them!’

‘And I would do the same for you. But you must calm yourself now. I have no doubt that they’re coming for you and so we must talk quickly before they interrupt us,’ he said.

‘What d-do you want me to do?’

Lore wished he had the answers. Since she’d found her way into his heart, his ability to plot and plan had become somewhat diminished. It wasn’t easy having to consider someone else’s needs as well as his own. What he wanted more than anything was for them to find a way to get off the ship and escape but as she was a nervous wreck and he was held by a field that could severely injure him, he knew that his hands were tied. 

All he could think of was for her to be hidden, for her to be as out of reach to the others as she was to himself.

_If I can’t have her, then nobody can._

‘I want you to run from them,’ he told her, ‘climb back into that conduit and do all you can to evade them for as long as possible. Do not hurt them, for if you do, there is a chance they will sedate you or fully power you down. If I could protect you myself, I would, but they’ve got me imprisoned here. The longer we drag this out, the better chance I have to try and figure out a way for us to escape.’

Kristen stood up. She wiped her face of tears. ‘Do you think you will be able to think of something?’

_Honestly? No. They’ve got me this time. But I won’t stop trying. I won’t give up._

‘We’ll see,’ he said, ‘now get out of here. Give them a chase they won’t forget, beautiful.’

She nodded to him and then she looked up at the hole in the ceiling. Her cybernetic legs aided her in springing up several feet and when she had purchased on the ripped metal, she used those shreds to hoist herself upwards even further. The whole process took less than ten seconds. Kristen shuffled around up there and then she poked her head through and looked down at him, eyes glowing like embers.

Lore was so proud of her, so completely proud of what she was and what she meant to him, he couldn’t help but grin at her. 

_I love you so much, my perfect girl…_

‘I will hide,’ she said.

‘Yes. Go. Go now,’ he replied.

She didn’t smile back at him. Instead she nodded once more and then she disappeared. Lore listened to the rumbling overhead as she crawled through the conduit and when she was out of earshot, he stood up and went to sit down on the bench again.

A minute or so passed and then the doors to the brig hissed open. Captain Picard, Riker, Worf and the new security Chief ran in. ‘Where is she, Lore?’ Picard demanded, ‘we know she was here. Where has she gone?’

Lore was still grinning. He simply crossed his arms over his chest and then he shrugged. 

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Thirty chapters down and twenty five still to go! Thanks to those still reading. I love getting feedback so as always - if you have any thoughts to share on my book, please let me know! xx


	31. Echoes

Far from eased inside from her stolen time with Lore, Kristen remained as terrified and overwrought as she had been since the crew of the _Enterprise_ had tried to fill her head with what she saw as falsities. Her tears had ceased for now but her heart was pounding as she raced throughout the network of conduits before her. She had tried to be brave when with her keeper, but inside she was in a chaos of emotion. Also, she had no idea where she was going.

She turned this way and that and whenever she got the chance to go upwards, she wrenched open hatches, climbed to the next level and then continued to careen through the ship. A maze of grey tunnels, lit by low lights, took her to areas that were somewhat larger and when she realised she’d been moving for over an hour she finally decided to stop and try to collect her thoughts. At a junction that led to three different conduits, she paused and then she used her superhuman hearing abilities to check if anyone was near her. Nothing.

Kristen rested her back against a wall, drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. It was cool in his part of the ship and quiet, save for the hum of the engines. She drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes for a while. 

_I had a life before this madness. I had a good life. Lore took care of me and I was his pet. I entertained him and pleasured him and we had a home and a world of our own. Now, I’m a prisoner and so is he. Now, I am held here against my will by people who are trying to fill my head with lies about the man I love. I want to be free. I want to be with Lore. I want to go home._

Her chest ached as grief rose up in her again. As soon as her eyes opened, tears ran down her face. She wiped them away, but there was more to come.

_I cannot believe the things they did to my keeper. They ejected him into space. They dismantled him. They stole his body parts and then they buried him in the ground…_

She cradled her head in her hands and then she started to rock herself, trying to ease her fright and pain, wishing that Lore was with her so she could inhale his brimstone scent and find security in his arms and on his lap. She longed for the comfort of the bed they’d shared back home in the lab on the jungle planet rather than these cold conduit walls. She could still recall the scent of the exotic flowers and green ferns from beyond the lab windows, could still feel the warmth of sunlight, the kiss of twilight, the caress of dawn.

She relived Lore chasing her around the lab and how they’d laughed. Sure, it had taken time for him to loosen up and have a little fun with her, but it had been a beautiful exchange. They had fought but then they had it made it up. Even when times were bad, there had always been a resolution. Now there was only the darkness of space, people who were determined to hurt her despite their well-meaning words and distance between herself and the man who saw her as beautiful and perfect.

_Please work out a way for us to leave here, Lore. Please figure this nightmare out. Because I’m not sure how much more I can take without going crazy._

_This is no life. This is no way to exist…_

*

Recalling his imperatives as a First Officer, Riker had insisted that Picard not enter the system of Jefferies tubes that ran throughout the ship. Picard reminded him that he wasn’t a First Officer anymore and that as a Captain, he shouldn’t be about to enter them either. 

‘Touché,’ Riker said, with a faint smile.

N’Dya opened the hatch. ‘Neither of you need to do this,’ he said, ‘I’ll go and find her. This is a security issue and as such, my sole responsibility,’

‘As much as I see your point, I do believe that if all four of us set about this as a team, we will have a much better chance at finding her,’ Picard replied.

Worf nodded. ‘It will take less time also. We should proceed immediately.’

Picard crouched down, peered into the tunnel ahead and then got in there. The others followed and as soon as they had reached a junction, they split apart and headed in different directions. On hands and knees, Picard moved forwards for a great deal of time and as he did so, he tried to wipe the mental image of Lore’s self-satisfied smirk from his mind. He still believed very firmly that involving the Daystrom Institute would be detrimental and that old mistakes should not be repeated but he also had no idea what to do with Data’s evil brother.

What could be done with an individual who had the physical strength of several men and the mental acuity and intelligence of a maniacal genius? Lore could never be imprisoned in the way that other criminals could. He would escape any jail that Starfleet could come up with and with minimal effort. He couldn’t be kept behind a holo-field in the brig forever either, for who knew how many enemies he had out in space who would try to hunt him down and seek revenge. Picard had to think of his crew and of their families and the civilian passengers too. He had to think of his ship.

Lore had the potentiality to live until the end of time. The sentencing and resulting incarceration for the multitude of crimes he had committed would have to be ongoing and even if Picard could think of way to imprison him for good, he could not deprive him of all of his rights either. All criminals had rights, human, android or otherwise. The whole matter was an unsolvable puzzle that got increasingly more complicated with each day that passed.

His knees began to get sore as he continued through the tunnels and his head began to ache. Picard asked the computer if he was any closer to Kristen and was told in the usual feminine voice that he needed to ascend two decks and then proceed for another forty metres.

With determination, Picard moved on until he was informed that he was only twenty metres away and that was when he saw Riker coming towards him from the opposite direction. They acknowledged one another and then, as they met at the centre of a conduit, they heard a voice began to sing.

‘ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

 _The other night dear, as I lay sleepin'  
I dreamed, I held you in my arms  
When I awoke dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried…_’

Riker frowned. ‘That’s her,’ he whispered, ‘but now we’re near to her, I’m wondering just how the hell we’re going to get her out. We know how strong she is. We can’t force her physically and even if Lore has asked her not to lash out with violence, there’s a chance she might hurt us by accident,’

‘It’s a risk we have to take,’ Picard replied.

‘Suggestions, Sir?’

‘I’ll go to her. You stay here and when the others reach you, stand by,’

‘Alright. Good luck.’

Picard nodded to him and then he took a left and crawled onwards. Kristen’s mournful voice continued to sing and grow louder the closer he got. Then, her red eyes began to glow in the distant shadows and he realised she would be able to see him. The singing stopped.

‘Harper,’ he said, in a commanding tone, ‘hold your position. I’m coming to you so that we can talk about what happened in the meeting.’

Kristen hissed. 

‘There’s no need to be afraid! Stay right where you are and then we can exchange ideas. I am open to any suggestions you might have and I am willing to consider anything that will help you!’

‘Release Lore and I! That is the only thing that can help me!’ she yelled.

‘You know I cannot do that.’ He moved closer to her and was surprised when she didn’t immediately bolt away from him. ‘I can only do what is right for you. It’s time for this charade to end. It’s time for you to remember the person you really are so that your recovery can begin. I want to help you, Kristen. Please work with me. Please allow myself and my crew to heal you of the abuse that has wrecked your mind. Allow us to guide you out of this hell I know you’re in.’

She laughed, but there was no humour there. ‘You can talk to me all you want… if you can catch me…’

‘End this chase. Come here, Kristen,’

‘No! Catch me if you can, Picard!’

And then she jumped into a crouching position, turned and raced off and out of sight so quickly that she was a blur of pale flesh in the darkness. Picard couldn’t help but close his eyes in frustration. He sat down, wiped his forehead of perspiration and then he called to Riker. ‘She’s gone again! I’ve lost her!’

He heard a groan in response. ‘We’re on our way! Stay there!’

Picard shook his head and sighed. 

_My knees are shot to hell already. I’d never tell Beverly this, but I really am getting too old for these kind of pursuits._

* 

By 20:00 hours, Kristen was still hiding within the Jefferies tubes and the search, for the time being, had been called off. Trying to chase her was like trying to chase lightning. Picard told Riker and the others to go and get some replenishment and rest and when they’d gone, he took himself to his quarters so he could change into a clean uniform and drink a cup of tea in peace. He knew he needed to eat but all the time that Kristen was evading capture, there was no way he could possibly stomach a meal. 

He took half an hour of rest and whilst he did so, he weighed up his options. As with restraining Kristen, there were only two people on the ship who could match her speed and dexterity – Lore and Commander Data. Deciding to start with the least desirable option so that Data’s heart could be spared further stress, Picard finished his tea and then he took a turbolift to the brig and headed straight in there.

Lore looked up from hands that were laced in his lap. ‘Two visits in one day,’ he drawled, ‘are you becoming fond of me, Captain? It seems you don’t know how to keep yourself away for long.’

Picard clenched his teeth and then released a slow exhale. ‘I’m here to ask you to help me recover Kristen from the depths of my ship. She has been racing around those conduits for hours and will not come to myself, to Riker, N’Dya or Worf.’

Lore smiled. ‘Well, well, well. That’s quite a problem, isn’t it?’ 

‘I imagine she must be tired, afraid and as thirsty as she is hungry. I would very much like to take her to her quarters so that she can rest and be given something to eat. Will you help me with that?’

Lore’s smile faltered slightly. 

‘You have made it crystal clear to us that in some respects you have the upper hand with this situation but when it comes to her wellbeing, I must insist that you put your ego to one side and think about what is best for Kristen. We both know you love her,’ Picard intoned.

Lore stood up and approached the forcefield. ‘If I summon her here and you escort her away from me, you’ll do more than tuck her into bed and give her cookies and milk. You’ll try and mess with her mind. You’ll try to poison her feelings for me,’ he said, with an unblinking citrine stare.

‘I will attempt to _fix_ her mind and _extract_ the poison your invasive surgeries infected her with,’ Picard snapped, ‘you are beyond deluded, Lore. I have no idea as to the details of what transpired on Terlina III but what I do know is that whatever you’re projecting onto her must be reversed as quickly as possible. If you genuinely love Kristen, you would want the very best for her in all things,’

‘We have different ideas on what is best for her,’ Lore gritted out, ‘you are speaking from a viewpoint that is saturated with professionalism. You don’t _care_ about her at all. If she was injured or if she died, she’d just be another Starfleet officer you’d put down to statistics. There’s no doubt that you’re protective over your crew, but you don’t even know Kristen. I know her. I know everything about her. I know about her childhood, her family, her dreams, her nightmares, her passions and her pains. I know how to make her happy. I know how to give her everything.’

Picard was running low on energy and patience. ‘Your love for her is not as unconditional as you think it is. You only love the version of her that you created. How was she with you before you wiped her memories and severed her arms and legs? How did she speak to you? How did she treat you?’

Lore narrowed his eyes and then smiled again. ‘Oh, we had a lot of fun. She was an annoying little bitch for the most part but, believe it or not, we grew to be rather close. We talked. We held hands. She took it upon herself to get to know me. Before I operated on her, we even shared a kiss.’

Shock hit Picard but he managed to feel it and not show it. ‘Is that so?’

‘Hmm. It was a nice kiss too. She’s got the softest lips,’

‘And Kristen was in full control of her faculties at that time, was she? Mentally stable? Emotionally healthful and not damaged by abuse and fear? She wasn’t looking at a face that was quite literally identical in every minute detail to that of the man she’d agreed to marry before she was kidnapped? She wasn’t looking into eyes that reminded her of Data so much that she-’

‘ _Enough._ ’ Lore was the one who was rattled then. 

Picard was the one to smile. 

Lore paced around for a few moments and then he sat down on the bench. 

‘Pull back your thumbnail and alert Kristen. Bring her here so that I can return her to her quarters,’ Picard said.

‘I will do no such thing. I will not aid you in taking her away from me,’ Lore replied, his gaze fixed to the floor in front of himself and his tone flat.

‘Alright. I have no other option but to go to Data. I’ll visit him right now and I’ll ask him to enter the Jefferies network. I’m sure he’ll retrieve her in no time and then we can proceed with her care with or without your permit.’ Picard turned around and headed to the doors. They hissed open. 

‘ _Wait._ ’

Picard looked over his shoulder. ‘Yes?’

‘If anyone will reach out to her, it won’t be Commander Do-No-Wrong. It will be me and no-one else,’ Lore snapped. 

Picard turned, the doors closed again and he considered Lore. ‘Then return her to me. Now.’

Lore rolled his eyes and turned back his thumbnail. ‘Fine.’

*

Data had spent the majority of the afternoon with Counselor Troi in his lab and then, upon her insistence, he had accompanied her to TenForward so she could eat dinner. She had tried to make out as though he’d be doing her a favour rather than it being about her wanting to keep an eye on him, but Data found that he didn’t mind either way and so they spent an hour or so there. 

Guinan sat with them for a time and asked a few subtle questions. She was not too intrusive, as was her way, and did not outstay her welcome.

He noticed that a few other patrons in the bar looked his way on occasion but he managed to ignore that and focus on the conversation he and Troi were having. She was very much looking forward to getting Kristen to the lab so that Data could connect his mind to hers and try to help her. It seemed that now they had a truly productive idea to hand, she was feeling better and even more determined to unravel this mess. 

Data felt many things but he was still hurting. The hurt never went away. It whispered and ranted in his systems, re-occurring echoes of loss and lonesomeness.

When Troi had eaten, she was contacted by Riker. He told her he was returning to the _Titan_ to get some rest and at that, she wondered aloud if she should do the same. According to what Riker said, Kristen was still evading capture and that wasn’t going to change any time soon.

‘I should find her,’ Data said, ‘there is no-one else capable of doing so.’

Troi thought about that. ‘You saw how she was with you during the meeting, Data. She couldn’t handle being in the same room as you,’ she said, in a gentle tone, ‘if you come face-to-face with her in a Jefferies tube, I doubt the outcome would be beneficial for either of you,’

‘We cannot leave her as she is. She will be alone and frightened,’

‘I know, but…’

Her comm badge chirruped then. ‘Picard to Troi,’

‘Troi here. Do you need me, Sir?’

‘I have managed to retrieve our runaway. Would you mind meeting me at Kristen’s quarters so that we can tend to her? Beverly will meet us there also,’

‘I’m on my way. Troi out.’

Data stood when she did and the two of them left TenForward. They walked down the corridor and then, when they were in the turbolift, she looked up at him. ‘You know you can’t come with me, Data,’ she said, with regret in her eyes.

‘I would prefer to accompany you,’ he said, ‘I will wait until you have taken her inside and then I will remain in the corridor. I will not be able to concentrate fully on anything until I know that Kristen is alright and that she is resting.’

She sighed. ‘I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d do the same if Will was in this situation.’

Data nodded to her.

At their destination, he held back as he watched her go to the others. Kristen was unkempt and in a daze of exhaustion and sadness. The parts of her that were still organic had clearly been pushed to their limit over the course of the day and she was numbed by it all, save for her heartache. Crusher was waiting with a medi-kit and Picard was talking to her with a serious look on his face. Kristen went into the rooms with her head down and then Troi and the others followed her. 

When the doors closed, Data exited the turbolift and then he went to keep his vigil. He could never be physically tired but on an emotional level he was drained beyond belief. 

If his version of Kristen was here, she’d suggest that he go to his quarters and initiate a dream program. She had always encouraged him to do that when he was stressed and it had almost always proven to be helpful. He missed her kind advice and how she used to look beyond his artificiality; knowing intrinsically what he needed and when he needed it and not holding back with her nurturing ways and unassuming sweetness. 

That version of Kristen had longed for his presence rather than being angry and affronted when they were in the same vicinity. She had needed him and he had needed her. Data still needed her. He always would. 

He was caught in a reverie about how heavenly it would be to see her smile at him again instead of hissing with rejection when Picard appeared. Data looked up and straightened himself. 

‘Number One,’ Picard said, ‘are you alright?’

‘Yes, Sir. I was waiting to see how Kristen is,’ he replied.

‘She gave us quite the chase today. As of right now, she is sedated and Doctor Crusher believes she won’t awaken until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest,’

‘Did she eat?’

‘Yes, she did manage to eat some ice cream. I’m not sure that it was the best option for her on a nutritional level, but it was all she would accept.’

Data felt a touch of relief. That Kristen was safe and resting meant the world.

‘Deanna told me of your research today and the conclusions you came to,’ Picard continued, ‘I think that taking her to your lab is a fine idea. Are you up to it?’

‘Of course. I would like to proceed as soon as possible,’

‘Unlocking her memories might be something to hold off on for the time being. I believe that we should try to view those memories ourselves before we attempt to unlock them for her. Could you do that? Could you take a look at what happened on Terlina III before we start to bring Kristen back to reality?’

‘Yes. I should be able to review any existing memory files. I agree that it might be prudent to do that first so we know what to expect. If we know what Kristen has been through before she does, we can anticipate how to support her,’ Data replied.

Picard smiled and then he closed his eyes briefly as he yawned. ‘Apologies, Mister Data. Today has exhausted me. Now that Kristen is safe and sound, I believe I will return to my quarters and follow the orders Beverly gave me to eat and go straight to bed,’

‘Understood,’

‘Come to my ready room tomorrow morning. 09:00 hours,’

‘Yes, Sir,’

‘Goodnight, Data,’

‘Goodnight.’

Picard walked away and Data allowed himself a small sigh. Finally, it seemed as though they were making some progress. Of course, he hadn’t looked into Kristen’s positronic networks yet, hadn’t delved at all into the labyrinth of memories stored in her mind, but at least they had a plan now that felt as though it might stand a chance of helping her. Data knew that he too should be leaving to return to his personal rooms so that he could review the process he was going to undertake and do a little more research too, but something held him there. He didn’t want to go.

Crusher and Troi exited Kristen’s quarters a few minutes later and when they found him there, they both looked to him and then smiled. ‘She’s doing well,’ Crusher told him, ‘and she definitely won’t be disappearing on us again within the next twenty-four hours or so,’

‘The Captain told me as much,’ Data replied.

‘Well, I’m going to call it a night,’ she said, ‘I’ll see you both tomorrow?’

‘Yes. Goodnight, Beverly,’ Troi said.

‘Goodnight then.’ Crusher moved off down the corridor and was soon out of sight.

Troi looked up at Data. ‘I need to go back to the _Titan_ soon but I’m feeling quite restless at the moment. There’s so much to think about. I’ll walk you back to your quarters and we can have a coffee or some hot chocolate if you like?’ she suggested.

He knew she was still worried about him. It was in her eyes. ‘No, thank you. Instead, I have a favour to ask,’ he said.

She anticipated it before he had the chance to explain. ‘You want to visit with Kristen…’

‘I would very much appreciate a few moments with her. Every time I have seen her since she returned to the ship, she has been terrified and angry. To be with her whilst she is resting… she would not know I was there and so she would not be negatively affected,’

‘But what about you, Data? Why would you want to rub salt in your wounds?’

Data dismissed the metaphor. ‘It would benefit me greatly to be near her. It would mean a lot to me if you would allow me this, Deanna. Please.’

She frowned a little and then she sighed. ‘I’m too tired to argue. I’m not leaving you, though. I’ll let you sit with her for a while and I’ll wait in the other room. But when I decide you’ve had enough time, I’m going to come and fetch you and I want you to promise me you’ll co-operate with me.’

Data nodded.

‘Say it. Promise me you won’t ask for more time. Promise me you’ll leave when I say it’s time,’

‘I promise you I will leave when you say I have to.’

Troi gave him a long look. ‘Alright, Data. Come with me.’

She turned to head back through the doors and he went with her, his breath held and his expression tense with anticipation. He took a brief look around and noted that there was no personal touch on the interior of these quarters. They looked as though no-one was staying there at all. But the only belongings Kristen had ever had were still within his quarters, of course, and the person she was now required nothing material at all. 

Data hadn’t been able to pack away her things, even though Captain Picard had mentioned in passing that he should consider the idea. He needed Kristen’s presence so much that he hadn’t moved even one token that belonged to her. Her clothes, her cosmetics, her books and her trinkets were all that he had left. They were remnants of a relationship that had changed his life and traces of a woman who he had no intentions of giving up on, even if she couldn’t bear being near him. 

Troi touched his arm and then he realised he’d stopped walking. With a glance at her, he moved with her until they were at the bedroom area. He saw Kristen sleeping and then he winced internally at how stricken she looked, even when unconscious.

‘I’ll leave you alone for a while,’ Troi whispered.

‘Thank you,’ Data managed.

She took her hand from his arm and then she was gone. 

Being alone with Kristen again was something he had craved ever since she’d left the ship but now the moment was upon him, Data felt so many of his dreams shatter into dust. Somehow, he managed to approach the bed and then he sat down very slowly by Kristen’s side. 

To be close to her and to have some time to truly take in what had been done to her was not at all straightforward. The blue lights that flickered on the side of her head were mesmerising in the worst way possible. The crude way with which her hair had been shorn made him ache. She was still so thin and drawn – her cheekbones enhanced, her ribs on show beneath her cropped shirt.

Data daren’t touch Kristen. If he did, he knew he’d want to gather her close and hold her how he used to. He’d embrace her and inhale her scent and press gentle kisses to her face. Also, he would not be able to let her go and so he remained where he was, staring down at her, gazing over the details that had not changed. Her lips were full and her nose was upturned. She still had long eyelashes and a heart-shaped face. Those streaks of white in her hair were a stark contrast to the brunette tendrils that had not been touched by cruelty or shock. She was still beautiful, even if she was fragmented inside and a stranger to the world she used to know.

He started a little when she turned over onto her side but thankfully, Kristen did not awaken. Her fingers found purchase on the edge of her pillow and she squeezed it, sighing in a way that hinted at inner turmoil. She turned her face into the pillow a little more and then became still again. Data wondered what she was dreaming about, if she was dreaming at all. Her brows were knitted and though her lips were parted, they were slightly downturned. 

He knew the real Kristen Harper better than anyone on the ship, better than anyone anywhere, and could see the pain she was holding in her expression and in her posture. When Kristen was sleeping peacefully, she did not look how she looked at that moment.

_She used to sleep by my side every night. I would hold her and when I was not in the mood to activate my dream program, I would close my eyes and just be with her. She used to ask me to ‘spoon’ her whilst she fell asleep and then Kristen would turn herself into different positions throughout the night and I would move with her so she would be comfortable and held close to me. Our bodies used to fit together as though it had been designed that way._

_I remember thinking that the freckles on her shoulders reminded me of constellations. Her legs would tangle with mine and she would mumble in her sleep. Her hair smelt of vanilla. Her scent is still on the bedclothes in our – my – quarters. Memories of hours in the semi-darkness with her head on my shoulder and her soft breath on my skin are still in my heart._

_Even if I save her and bring her memories back, how can I be sure that she will want to know me? How will I cope if she continues to hate me? How will I move on? How will I cope?_

Data realised that though he knew he shouldn’t touch Kristen, he had to. He might never get the chance to do so again and couldn’t waste the opportunity. He didn’t gather her into his arms in an embrace, but he did lift a hand and stroke the side of her face. It hurt to do that because of all of the sensations and memories the feel of her skin brought back, but at the same time Data could not deny himself. He stroked his thumb over her lower lip and then he leaned over her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

‘Data,’ Troi said, ‘you’ve had enough time with her now. Let’s leave her to rest.’

He moved back from Kristen, took his hand away from her cheek. ‘Alright,’ he said.

When he didn’t get up, Troi came over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He managed to turn his head and look up at her. 

‘Oh, you’re crying,’ she said, her tone soft with sympathy, ‘I’m so sorry, Data.’

_I am crying? I had no idea…_

Data wiped his eyes and then he stood. The two of them left Kristen and went into the other part of her quarters. He expected for Troi to guide him straight out into the corridor, but instead of that she sat him down on the sofa and then she joined him. He also expected for her to start telling him how this idea had been a bad one and that he had likely only hurt himself more for wanting a private moment with Kristen, but Troi did not. 

‘I won’t ask if you’re alright. I don’t want to patronise you,’ she said.

He wanted to thank her for that but couldn’t find it within himself to speak. 

‘We’ll sit here until you’ve collected yourself and then I’ll walk you back to your quarters,’ she continued, ‘there’s no rush, Data. Just take your time.’

There was nothing else he _could_ do but take his time. Data did not have the motivation nor the ability to do anything but sit there and try to shake off the need to be with Kristen, not that it was even remotely possible. He wiped his eyes again, took a few moments to steady his thoughts and then he looked to Troi again when he realised she had reached over and was offering him a hand.

Data took that hand and she moved closer to him. ‘Tomorrow’s a new day,’ she told him, ‘and if all goes to plan, we’ll get to see at least some of what’s going on in Kristen’s head. Tomorrow is the start of a new phase. Do you think you’ll be able to deal with it?’

‘I will do anything to help Kristen,’ he replied.

She smiled, sadly so. ‘I’m here for you.’

‘Thank you, Deanna.’

They remained where they were for a long time, not saying anything else, but sharing plenty in the silence and the shadows of Kristen’s personal rooms.


	32. Postcards From The Abyss - reprise

After breakfast with Doctor Crusher, Captain Picard left her quarters and then headed on to see to his responsibilities for the first part of the day. Crusher had some work to do in sickbay and then, when the time was right, she would be joining him, Data, Troi and LaForge in Data’s lab to oversee phase one of the plan to bring Kristen Harper back to reality. Picard thought that the idea of Data interfacing himself to Kristen directly was brilliant, in theory, and hoped that it would bring about some momentum in healing for all involved. 

Still, he wished that he wouldn’t have to know exactly what she’d been through. Ignorance might be bliss for some, but he was far from an ignorant man. Like it or not, he _needed_ to know the details and he was bracing himself already for the worst of it. If the horrors she’d experienced were anything like what he’d been through when held prisoner by the Borg, then Picard knew she would be far more damaged than anyone save for himself could imagine. 

Her wounds would run deeper than her surgeries. Her wounds would require more than counselling and time to heal. Kristen would not have to face those memories until they had been unlocked but when that time came, Picard could only imagine how hard they would hit her. The man she currently despised was her true love and the man she currently loved was her abuser. To face that would be devastating. The fact that those men were identical brothers made it all more painful still. 

Picard’s heart went out to Kristen – both this new and childlike version and the old version; the young woman he’d come to respect a great deal since meeting her.

On the bridge, he asked Worf to continue covering the day shift and then he asked N’Dya to return to the brig and stand watch there. 

Lore still had no hope of escaping all the time the holo-emitters were in place, but he knew that everyone on the ship, whether officers or civilians, would feel better if his chief of security was in the right place. N’Dya might not be able to stop Kristen from breaking in there, but Picard could certainly see the benefit of having him there to keep an eye on any exchanges that might take place. There was a chance that Kristen might not bolt again, but if she did and returned to the man she saw as her ‘keeper’, Picard wanted for them to be observed thoroughly.

He went into his ready room and after getting himself some Earl Grey tea from the replicator he took a seat behind his desk and started to check the messages and reports on his personal computer. 

Data arrived but a moment later. Once invited in, he took a seat and the two of them considered one another. ‘I visited with Kristen last night, Sir,’ he said, with an expression that hinted at guilt.

Picard was surprised, both by the automatic confession and by the guilt that accompanied it. ‘I hope that Counselor Troi stayed with you,’ he said, putting his cup down.

‘Yes, she did. She allowed me some privacy when I was with Kristen but when she felt I had spent enough time with her, she retrieved me. I had less than five minutes with her,’

‘But for an android, a mere second can feel like an eternity. How did five minutes feel to you?’

‘It felt like a lengthy but also undetermined period of time,’ Data replied, ‘as of today, I am not convinced that it was a wise decision for me to be close to her. I know that Kristen was sedated and that she could not have been affected by my being with her, but I have been… affected. Counselor Troi knew that would happen. I did not listen to her. I put my needs at that time ahead of her expertise. I regret that now. Since leaving Kristen’s quarters and returning to my own, I have been in an odd state of mind.’

Picard nodded. ‘I cannot give you any time to balance your emotions in private, Number One. Today is an important day and only you can link yourself to Kristen so that we can gather knowledge on what she’s been through,’

‘I do not wish for you to discharge me from duty. I just thought it best that you be informed as to what occurred last night,’ Data said.

‘Would a distraction be helpful? We can go to your lab right now and begin preparations, if that would take your mind off things?’

‘I do not believe that anything could dull the mood I have fallen into and nor could anything sufficiently distract me.’

Picard could understand that but still felt that productivity was the right direction. ‘But you would still like to proceed with our plans for today?’

‘Yes, Sir. Definitely. I might be experiencing some emotional difficulties currently but the one productive aspect of that is that I am feeling more determined than ever to help Kristen. Last night, my grief made me introspective. It made me consider my feelings, my pain, my losses. This morning, I am more focused on her feelings, pain and experiences. I am afraid to see what she has been through but I also need to know. I have to help her and I cannot do that until I have had the opportunity to connect to her and look inside her mind,’ Data replied.

Picard stood from his desk. ‘Then let’s get to work. I’d like to see what you’ve prepared already and then we’ll talk about the best way to get this underway.’

Data stood up too and then they left the ready room, crossed the bridge and entered the turbolift together. 

‘Sir, I have a question,’ he said, after a few beats of silence.

‘What is it, Data?’

‘How will I cope with what I will see? We know that Lore starved Kristen and abused her. This afternoon, I will have to see those crimes for myself. How will I deal with that? What would you do in this situation?’

Picard sighed. ‘I feel as though I’ve been running out of clear answers for quite some time when it comes to the more painful aspects of this,’ he replied, ‘and though I’d like to give you some practical ideas, I’m afraid I don’t have any. All I can say is that when the session in your lab is over and we have all talked about the things you’ve seen and heard, you’ll be given some time to yourself,’ 

‘What should I do with that time, Sir?’

‘I would use it in whatever way appeals to you. You may go back to your quarters or you may visit the holodeck or you may remain with myself and the others. You will have to choose for yourself how to process what is coming our way.’

Data frowned and then he stared off into space.

Picard wished he had an anecdote to hand or a worthwhile suggestion for his friend. He didn’t. For the time being, they would both need to keep their minds focused on work and then, much later, there would perhaps be the opportunity for reflection and talk of feelings and coping mechanisms. Picard took his gaze from Data, sighed a deep breath and then turned his thoughts to the cybernetics lab they were heading to.

*

At 13:45 hours, Counselor Troi contacted Captain Picard and told him that Kristen had regained consciousness and they would soon be on their way, along with Doctor Crusher. LaForge had reached the lab by then and he and Data looked up from the information they were reviewing on a console as Picard told them it was almost time to begin. Because Kristen wouldn’t tolerate Data’s presence, they had arranged for him to be absent for her arrival. 

Data noted the slight awkwardness in the silence to follow and then he stepped away from the console and moved over to the doors. ‘I will await further instructions,’ he said.

‘Yes. Hopefully this will not take long,’ Picard replied.

‘Hang in there, my friend,’ LaForge added.

Data nodded to them and then he left the lab and walked onwards until there was significant distance between himself and where Kristen would soon be. Despite his determination to help her, he knew he was in no way prepared for what was coming. He couldn’t think of anything worse than having to experience what she’d been through. He couldn’t protect her now, couldn’t rescue her from the hell she’d been in. Kristen couldn’t be saved, she could only be examined and then gently coaxed out of the darkness. There was no promise of success.

All Data could do that day was see through her eyes and then report the information to his colleagues. After that? There was no way to predict or know. Data did not like situations where he could not calculate a possible outcome. They left him feeling unbalanced and when personal conflict was brought into the mix also, he felt a vague longing for the days before his emotion chip. He would not switch the chip off due to old promises he’d made, but the thought of feeling nothing at all right now was more than appealing.

It took just over fifteen minutes for him to be summoned back to the lab and when he retraced his steps, Data felt increasingly more and more nervous. Kristen would be sedated and held in place on the central holding platform and would not be aware of his being there, but that didn’t help his awareness of _her_ presence at all. 

As he’d told Troi the night before, when she’d been walking him back to his quarters, and as he’d told Picard that morning, he regretted the fact he’d visited with Kristen. It had brought so much back to him. It had crushed so many dreams. The shards of those dreams were still lodged in his mind and in his heart like slivers of broken glass and when he reached the doors of the lab and came to a halt, he had to take a moment to force his emotions into submission. This was not a time to grieve, it was a time to uncover information. 

_The worst information, the most painful of memories, the nightmares she has endured… I have to be strong, for her and for us. I have to help her. I have to help my beloved._

Data steeled himself and then walked back into his lab. Kristen was standing upright and her crimson eyes were half-open. LaForge explained that she had not been sedated after all because he and Crusher had found a manual way to power her down. 

‘Does she have an off-switch?’ Data asked, coming over to the platform.

‘Not exactly. It’s not like yours and the one Lore has, anyway,’ Crusher said, ‘it’s more of a sleep-mode that she can be put into. If she was in danger, it’s likely she would be alerted so that she could save herself from coming to harm. If you were switched off in that sort of situation, you’d be oblivious to anything, as you well know. From now on, when we need to work with Kristen in this way, we won’t need to use sedatives. Here, let me show you.’

Data moved to where she was standing. 

Crusher moved some hair away from Kristen’s left ear and behind it, there was a small dial. The light next to it was red at the moment. ‘When we switch the dial in the opposite direction, the light turns green and she regains full consciousness again,’ she explained, ‘I noticed it last night when sedating her. I don’t like to use this method but it is likely better for her than administering her with drugs whenever we need to rest or stay where she is without a fight or flight situation. I’d rather turn a dial than put stress on the biological parts of her,’

‘I find it quite chilling,’ Troi murmured, ‘why would Lore even consider such a thing?’

‘Because he has an obsession with control,’ Data replied.

Troi’s eyes widened at his perceptiveness but he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to talk about psychology. 

He moved to stand in front of Kristen so he could see for himself that she was unaware of what was about to happen. Oddly, as he closed her eyelids with a careful forefinger and then lifted her chin to turn her head towards his, the nerves and the sense of gloom he’d been fighting receded somewhat. The ability to work and concentrate returned to him and Data made the most of it as he performed a few checks. 

He said her name three times and there was no response. He put his hand to her shoulder and shook her, just a little. Still nothing. To say that Kristen was ‘powered down’ was accurate.

An interface cable, the same one he’d used for years to connect him to the ship when necessary, was nearby and so he took it and handed it to LaForge. No instructions were needed. LaForge came closer and when Data inclined his head, his friend found the right access panel, pushed on it with his fingers and then the panel opened and the cable was connected to the port. Data took the other end of it in his hand and then, with the others watching him, he plugged it into the largest of Kristen’s positronic grafts. The port accepted the cable. They were joined.

Her mouth fell open but she did not awaken. The blue lights on her head flashed brighter and faster. Her breathing quickened too and when Doctor Crusher noticed that, she stepped up so she could check Kristen’s pulse and monitor her vital signs.

‘Is she alright?’ Troi asked.

‘She’s stable,’ Crusher confirmed.

‘This is a process that she has been through before,’ Data added, ‘this is how Lore removed her memories and programmed her to his liking. Kristen has spent a great deal of time enduring processes like these.’

Captain Picard rested his hands on the bars that surrounded the platform. ‘What information are you receiving from her?’ he asked.

‘All I have right now is that her systems are used to being connected to external interfaces. I did not have to request access,’

‘So far so good?’

‘Yes. Now that our neural pathways are aligned, I can attempt to locate her nested memory files. Please standby,’

‘Of course,’

‘Processing… processing…’

For Data, this was most unusual. Thankfully, it was not too similar to when he’d connected himself to his daughter Lal for her brain had been different and much more expansive, given that she’d been completely artificial and not a cyborg. This was much closer to when he had been trying to contact Captain Picard from within his identity as Locutus. He waited for firewalls or other protective measures to stop him from exploring Kristen’s mind, but there were none. 

_Not only did Lore fall short of planning his getaway from Terlina III thoroughly, he also failed to ensure that his work on Kristen could not be tampered with. I do not understand. Did his plans change along the way? It seems to be the only viable conclusion._

Kristen’s nested memory files were many and but they were organised. It seemed to be the only bit of sincere organisation Lore had applied himself to. Trying not to be distracted by why his brother had gone about much of this without his usual android attention to detail, he accessed the first few files and then ensured that they would not be fully opened. It would be like reading a book without flipping through the pages, but Data would still be able to garner as many facts as he wanted to. Not that he wanted to. He _had_ to… and therein was the progress he and his colleagues were seeking.

‘Her childhood memories and her adolescence and her experiences as a young adult at the Academy are stored in units 1-20,’ he explained, ‘they check out. Units 21-23 contain her life on this ship. None of these files have been completely erased, as we believed previously. Instead, they have been locked down. Her primary memory files contain what Lore has brainwashed her to believe is her real life and identity,’

‘That’s great news,’ Crusher said, ‘that means that everything she needs to know is already in there,’

‘Yes. I will access unit 24. That should tell me how Kristen and the others reached Terlina III,’ Data replied.

Captain Picard nodded to him. ‘Proceed, Number One.’

Seeing through Kristen’s eyes, he was taken from the moment she landed on Deep Space 9 to when she boarded the shuttlecraft. Kristen had talked with her colleagues and then…

‘I… believe I have something important to share with you already,’ he said.

‘What is it?’ LaForge asked.

‘Soshi. He was the shuttle pilot. He stunned the others with a phaser and then he and Kristen had an exchange. She was terrified. He shot her too.’

Troi gasped. ‘Ryan Soshi? The same one who-’

‘Yes,’ Data said, ‘he took them to the jungle planet and delivered them to Lore and to Ria. He was paid for his part in this,’

‘I don’t believe it,’ Crusher said, though judging by her tone she did believe it completely, ‘I mean, we always knew he was trouble but to do something like this… he’s almost as bad as Lore!’

‘Kristen and the others were kept in what appears to be a store room,’ Data continued, ‘they were bound and gagged. When Soshi left, she was apparently visited by Lore during the night and then she was knocked out cold. When she awoke the next day, Sarrott had disappeared. Kristen was confused and frightened. As the day went on, she was… thinking of me… and how she wished I could come and rescue her…’

Troi moved to his side. ‘Data, this is only going to get worse from now on. Try to push on without feeling too much. I know that sounds impossible but if we can get through this in one go then you won’t have to do this again. Let’s try and do this quickly,’

‘Yes, like ripping off a band-aid,’ Crusher added.

Data shook his head but knew that his colleagues were right. ‘I am trying,’ he said.

‘You’re doing very well,’ Picard encouraged.

‘They were starved and not given water. Yates was beaten. When Kristen realised that Ria was there, she managed to figure out the situation she was in. She recalled how Ria had been left with Lore’s body and she worked out that he had been reassembled. Sometime later, when she awoke from another bout of unconsciousness, she was delirious and in shock. Lore gave her water and they had an exchange. The terror she experienced is hard to convey. Accessing unit 24-B.’

He continued to provide a commentary on all he was seeing. Ensign Jones screaming in the dark. Kristen tethered to the wall by her neck. Spiders crawling on her face. Realising that Sarrott had been experimented on and that she had been rendered mindless due to how crudely her cerebrum had been forced to take the positronic implants. Sarrott, dead. Kristen still dreaming of her old life, still fantasizing of rescue and release. 

Comparisons drawn between himself and Lore – how identical they were physically and how that much was enough to push Kristen to the verge of insanity already. 

Then more – Ria and how much she had changed. She was bruised, broken, nefarious of intention and eager for revenge and bloodshed. Lore’s makeshift legs, the ones he’d made himself whilst he attempted to rebuild or locate functional limbs to replace those that had been taken from him without permission. The makeshift legs were brittle and not easy to walk on. Lore had shuffled around and losing yet more of his dignity had deeply affected his moods. On one occasion, he had fallen. Kristen had tried to help, but had been told to stay away. 

Kristen, Yates and Jijesh, huddled together in fear. Days and nights that blended together into one long and endless period of time. The scent of a rotting body – Sarrott decomposing in the same room the captives were held in. Jijesh laughing and shouting at nothing, beyond mad and beyond reach. Jones being the next to be fitted with implants. Lore squeezing Kristen’s throat and slapping her. 

His diatribes and tirades. Her agonising fear.

‘Soshi was the one who was sending me the messages,’ he said, ‘Lore told Kristen that. He also told her that he used our Father’s computer system to track us from a distance. When Ria reassembled him and reactivated him, she told him all that had occurred since Ohniaka III and so he followed us. He had a great deal of information,’

‘Understood. Continue, Mister Data,’ Picard said.

Jijesh’s disappearance. Kristen and Yates were untied and Sarrott’s body was removed. Rations were supplied but a hunger strike was agreed on. Kristen was losing it, little by little. Lore experimented on Ria and she was the next to lose coherence and be changed into a monstrous mix of organic and synthetic. Kristen and Yates were the only humans left in the lab, the only ones who had not been operated on. They grew closer because of that, learned to depend upon one another. Madness was rising and the two of them were caught in a spell of fear. Ria stumbled around the lab like a zombie, she growled in the dark. 

_I love you, Data. I’m marrying us in my head right now because when I die, I have to die knowing that I’m your wife. I’m not your fiancée, Data, I’m your wife…_

Kristen had thought those words. Even though she was a shell of who she’d once been, she’d still had enough strength to cling on to what mattered to her. Data needed a moment when he heard her voice whisper those sentiments. He closed his eyes and ignored the fact that Troi was talking to him and that LaForge was also. He was aware of a kindly hand on his shoulder, but he ignored that too. When he could, he opened his eyes again and opened unit 24-C.

Lore teasing Kristen and Jijesh for sharing body heat when sleeping. Lore taking Kristen’s engagement ring and destroying it. 

Yates being taken away for surgery, not that he’d cared by then. 

Lore beginning to interrogate Kristen and scaring her into co-operating with him whenever she held back. Questions, questions, lots of questions. Kristen answering those questions and being engulfed by flames of guilt.

_I’m so sorry, Data. I’m so scared, I can’t seem to hold my tongue…_

‘Because you are the one thing I have that I can use to get Data where it really hurts. If I killed Picard he would be sad and he would grieve. If I killed that blind Engineer he’s friends with, it would hurt him. But when I pull your mind to bits and then send you back to him in pieces, he will be completely destroyed…’

‘Did Lore say that to her?’ LaForge asked.

‘Yes,’ Data confirmed. 

‘What a bastard,’ Crusher said.

‘Indeed,’ Picard concurred. 

Data took a breath and then he pushed onwards. 

Kristen being taken out of the storage room so Lore could bring her into the main room of the lab. Data recalled these rooms perfectly from when he’d been within them himself. Nothing had changed. Antiques, cybernetic equipment and dinosaurs. History and the future, coupled with toys. Lore hadn’t altered a single part of their Father’s home and workspace. Kristen had been thrown onto a chair and then the interrogation had continued. 

Questions, questions and more questions. Ria had been spoken of and Kristen had tried to get Lore to open up. She had believed that if he was capable of anger and pain then he should be able to feel compassion too.

Anger, bitterness and cold amusement as a reward for her open-hearted attempts. She tried so hard to compromise with him, to spare herself more pain, but the fact that Lore looked so much like he did was too much and she had almost fainted. Lore had helped her down the gangway (she had tried to run away before her dizziness) and then he had thrown her back onto the chair again. More agony, more arguing.

‘You are just a scared little boy trying to pick on his brother for all the failings you have and cannot face up to! You are not jealous of him for getting the better breaks, you are jealous that you are not like him and you never will be. You want to be him and it drives you crazy,’ Data supplied.

‘I can’t believe she yelled that at him,’ Troi said, ‘after losing the others, after the beatings and the starvation and all the rest, she still tried to fight,’

‘Yes… and then he knocked her unconscious once more,’ Data replied.

Darkness and then -

_Rise and shine, sleeping beauty…_

Kristen strapped to a semi-vertical medi-bed. Concussion pounding in her head. One of her hands being strapped to a torture device that when touched, tried to prise her nails from her fingertips. ‘Behaviour correction’ was what Lore had called it. The pain it caused her was extreme.

_I love you, Data. I miss you… and I’m sorry for what I’ve done…_

The interrogation continued. She was forced to speak of intimate factors. Lore wanted Kristen to admit that there were problems in her love life but of course there were none to confess and she was honest about that. More pain. Kristen’s tears. She was so scared, so broken, that she wet herself and Lore was forced to take her to Doctor Soong’s personal rooms and put her in the bath. She was alone and sore and vulnerable and had been questioning her sanity for longer than felt real. Kristen knew she was depending upon Lore now. She hated him but she needed him.

‘Stockholm Syndrome. Before her surgery, Kristen definitely had the symptoms,’ Troi said.

‘There’s no doubt,’ Crusher said.

Data glanced to them. ‘When Lore returned, he had fully restored his legs. His behaviour towards her altered and his mood improved a great deal,’

‘What happened next?’ LaForge asked.

‘She was dried and dressed in clean clothes. Back in the lab, he fed her and they continued to talk,’

‘What was she thinking?’ Troi asked.

‘Data… I need you… I love you… Lore… I hate you… Data… Lore…’

‘The lines were blurring,’ Picard said.

‘Yes…’

Unit 24-D was unlocked. 

Lore admitted that he did not hate Kristen because he barely knew her. He confessed that he knew only one way to get what he wanted and that was why he had bestowed such violence, abuse and pain upon her. Lost in an impossible situation, she offered him a hand and with some prompting, Lore took it and they shared a moment. They held hands. She knew that time was running out for her. She knew that she needed to try yet again to see some good in him. Somehow, Lore managed to give her just a brief moment without hitting her or tearing her mind to bits. 

_I need you… I forgive you… I don’t hate you at all…_

It was around this time that Data realised he was shaking, ever so slightly. The others did not notice, for they were analysing Kristen’s mental state at that time. He waited until they had grown silent once more and then he took over, speaking more quietly now as he delved into the next series of memories.

Kristen slept for a while, cold and deluded by thoughts that Lore’s feelings might be changing their course, but she was awoken by a loud crashing noise. Ria burst through the door. Her head was streaked with blood and brain tissue. She was a feral creature now, fuelled by hate and utterly dehumanised. Lore arrived on the scene and there was a struggle. Kristen was given the choice to either strike Ria and knock her out or strike Lore so she stood a chance of escaping. 

With a heavy crystal in her hand, she chose Ria and struck her until she was no longer a threat. 

And then, bizarrely, they worked as a team to try and save her. Lore was convinced she could not be saved because she was close to death already, but Kristen wanted to try harder still. These events brought them closer, it seemed. They talked more openly. Kristen felt responsible for Ria’s inevitable death to come but Lore assured her that it would not entirely be her fault. They talked of self-defence and murder. Dark subjects indeed.

_I don’t hate you… I don’t love you… I don’t know who we are…_

_Am I getting Stockholm Syndrome? Is that how messed up I am now? My heart belongs to Data, will always belong to Data, but…_

Data shook his head, tried once again to ignore that he was shaking.

‘Speak to me, Data,’ Picard said, ‘what did she say to Lore?’

‘The two of you are so alike… but yet, you’re so very different. I wonder, if things could have been different for you, would you have ended up this way? Had you had things the way that Data had them, could you have been more like him?’

‘And what was Lore’s response?’

‘I was never given the chance. I was introduced to the colonists as though they would accept me from the start. What my Father failed to anticipate was how an android could never be received well by living, organic beings and most especially so when that android has feelings and desires and wants to be taken seriously. I know that Data has emotions now and a whole circle of devoted supporters and friends, but… he had something I never did. He was able to earn the trust of those around him before having to adjust to the pressures of his emotional drives. He earned his right to evolve. I never did. I was just… an abomination.’

Troi sighed for a long time. ‘As much as I hate to say it, I suppose Lore had a point there. We’ve never really been able to see things from his point of view. None of it justifies even remotely the terrible things he has done, but at least we’re getting an insight. I find it interesting that he could talk to Kristen that way. She went from being a prisoner to a companion,’

‘He’s still a murderer,’ LaForge said, with spite in his tone, ‘I for one will never be able to look past the countless lives he has taken. He’s evil. That will never change.’

Picard touched Data’s arm. ‘Are you still with us, Number One?’

‘Aye Sir,’ Data managed.

‘Then let us proceed. We are clearly getting closer to nucleus of these horrors.’

Unit 24-D had more to reveal indeed. Kristen and Lore talked on and on and he admitted to her that though he had cared for Ria at one time, he had also felt used by her and then, later, betrayed by her too. The matter was complicated for Lore but he had strong feelings about it. As he discussed his experiences and feelings, Kristen began to see the world through his eyes. Perhaps it was her Stockholm Syndrome, perhaps it was her madness or perhaps it was her training as a Starfleet Counselor, but she was softening towards him; seeing him as a person who had been wronged almost as much as he had wronged others.

Sometimes when she looked at Lore, she saw him for who he was. Other times, she saw himself - Data. Her perceptions were fluctuating constantly, as were her emotions. When Ria succumbed to her injuries and died, she helped Lore to bury her in the grounds of the lab. For a while at least, he was unconcerned with tying her down or restraining her in other ways. There was no way to know what he was thinking, for Data could only navigate the tortured pathways of Kristen’s memory files. Things were changing though and it made him feel as close to sick as an android could possibly feel.

Then there was the kiss. 

_Data…_

Kristen had been dreaming and hadn’t realised who she was holding onto. She had grabbed Lore and kissed him and though he’d been shocked, he had eventually returned the affection. Kristen was kissing her fiancée in her mind but in reality, she was kissing her abuser. Their mouths moved together in a sensual fashion. She drew life from those kisses, drew love from poison…

_You are safe, my beloved. Nothing can harm you now._

When she realised what was going on, she had released him and apologised profusely. Data could tell that she truly hadn’t meant to kiss him. Lore had exhibited signs of irritation and the more she tried to explain herself, the more annoyed he became. He took her back through to the lab and as emotions ran high and confusion shuddered through her heart, she began to lose her mental balance once more. She didn’t have the strength to run anymore. She was breaking down, losing her way, losing her mind completely.

_I’m the one who has caused all this. It’s all my fault…_

She was strapped to the medi-chair again. Kristen was feeling negativity towards Lore but her sympathy for the lonely existence he’d struggled through since his activation was keeping her heart open to him too. One moment he was tender and kind and the next he was willing to hurt her. The past felt so far away and her future was bleak. 

‘The interrogations became randomised,’ Data supplied, ‘she talked of when Q made her face the fact that I could never give her children. Then he took her back to her childhood. She spoke of a pet rabbit she had owned as a young girl and then she talked of games she had played with Robert. He would pretend to be a scientist and she would pretend to be a robot. When her Father found out, he gave the rabbit away as a punishment,’

‘Did you know about any of this?’ Troi asked.

‘No, I did not,’ Data replied.

‘What comes next?’ LaForge asked.

‘Unit 24-E. This file is the smallest but it is nested to a degree that I might need a moment or two to access it. Please… standby…’

When he tried to open the file, their neural connection became weaker and then it detached. Data did not explain that much. The others were talking amongst themselves. 

He looked at Kristen’s face and saw that though she was still in stasis, her eyebrows were knitted and her expression was touched by discomfort. He knew why that was – on a unconscious level, she was trying to fight what he was doing. Whatever was in this part of the file was not something she would ever be able to recall without direct assistance. Her mind had gone into shock of such a deep degree that the nested memory file had almost created itself. It was the sole firewall she had. It was self-preservation, self-defence.

Determined and also afraid, Data reconnected their minds and then he monitored her neural activity as he used a subtle degree of force to crack the file. As soon as he did so, as soon as his mind was flooded by what lay within it, he regretted that action and wished he could reverse it.

_The abyss…_

_Kristen’s eyeballs in a small silver bowl, caught in stare that could never end._

_Her severed arms and legs, dripping with blood. Glistening pink muscle. Torn flesh._

_Lore continuing to talk to her as he used invasive procedures to neutralise her pain receptors. There was no anaesthetic for her because she had insisted that Ria have use of it instead. The agony remained, however._

_The smell of her flesh cooking as he cauterized her wounds._

_Kristen laughing deliriously. Kristen screaming._

Data drew in a sharp breath. Panicked, he closed that file down again, locked it and then took just a few seconds to open unit 25. That file held everything that had happened once the surgery was over and though she was the innocent and needy version of Kristen from that point onwards and though Lore had ceased to mutilate and torture her, Data knew he could take no more. He ensured that her mind was just as it had been before he’d connected them and then he yanked the interface cable from his head and felt his knees grow weak.

LaForge tried to help him stay upright but it was no good. Data swayed and then he dropped to the floor and sat where he landed – on the edge of the platform. There was a swirl of chaos around him as his friends tried to decipher what had happened.

‘What did you see?’ Picard asked, crouching in front of him with deep concern in his steel-coloured eyes, ‘why did you break the connection, Number One?’

‘I cannot… I cannot articulate…’

‘Tell us the last of it, Data, and then you can leave here and do whatever you need to,’ Picard insisted.

‘I… saw Kristen’s eyes and her limbs… Lore sawed through her bones… he…’

Troi grabbed Data’s hand and squeezed it. ‘That’s enough. You don’t need to say anything else. We understand,’ she soothed.

‘You do _not_ understand. She felt all of it. Lore managed to keep her alive somehow… she was awake throughout much of her surgeries… what she went through was worse than torture, Deanna. It was worse than brutality. Worse than death,’ Data said.

Crusher wiped some tears from her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, her voice hoarse, ‘for her and for you, Data.’

Picard rubbed a hand over his face. 

LaForge took Data’s other hand and with that help, he managed to get to his feet again. His internal sensors were pushed to overdrive. Too many emotions and all of them horrific in context – rage, spite, madness. His teeth were gritted. For a split second, he intended to walk out of the lab and go to the brig. He intended to do what Picard had feared – take his brother and tear him limb from limb until he could never be fixed. 

But then he somehow managed to take a glimpse of the bigger picture. Though his mind and his heart were in conflict, Data found some inner strength and he forced himself to take a breath and then step down from the platform. ‘Captain,’ he said, ‘will you make good on our agreement and allow me to leave?’

‘Of course,’ Picard replied, ‘but you should have someone with you. Deanna, will you-’

‘No,’ Data snapped, ‘I need to be alone. Please let me have that. I cannot be around others. If I am to handle what I have seen today, then you must allowed me to be by myself.’

Picard watched him for a long moment. ‘Alright, Number One. You are dismissed.’

Data cast his gaze over the worried looks his friends were bearing. He knew that each of them wanted him to stay so that they could support him, but he couldn’t handle it. He turned and then he was striding out of the lab. Though Data knew he had to stay away from the brig, he had no idea where else he wanted to be and so he walked and he walked, ignoring the curiosity of those he passed in the corridors. He walked until he felt ready to collapse again and at that, an idea struck him and he realised there was a way to vent his rage after all. 

He turned, entered a turbolift, and then he was diving into the red waters of his anger and not entirely sure if he’d ever find his way back to the surface.

*

Counselor Troi and the others were shaken. They talked for a while about what they had heard but going over the details only seemed to make them feel worse. Deciding to have a meeting about it later that evening, when everyone had had some time to calm down and re-group their thoughts, they elected to check Kristen over and then bring her back to consciousness. LaForge disconnected the interface cable and Doctor Crusher checked her vital signs. 

‘She’s stable,’ she reported.

‘Power her back up,’ Picard ordered, ‘and please, let us all behave as though she has been resting and that nothing serious has occurred,’

‘Sure,’ Crusher replied, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

Troi watched as Crusher moved her hand behind Kristen’s ear and then the dial was turned. There was a pause and then a pair of sleepy red eyes blinked back into consciousness. Kristen looked around herself and then her gaze connected with Troi’s. 

‘Are you alright, Kristen?’ LaForge asked.

‘Yes, I believe so…’ 

‘What do you remember?’

‘Coming in here and then falling asleep. Why did I fall asleep? I am always so tired right now, it seems.’

Troi felt a lump forming in her throat but she managed to pretend she was fine. ‘What would you like to do?’

‘Can we go and get ice cream?’ Kristen asked, with a touch of childish excitement. The innocence of that request, following the revelations that had been delivered, was heartbreaking.

‘Of course,’ Troi replied, ‘we can do anything you want, Kristen.’


	33. Haunted

After ice cream, Kristen wanted to see Lore. That came as no surprise to Troi at all. They were sat together in TenForward and Captain Picard was with them also. Crusher and LaForge had returned to their stations and though Troi had expected the Captain to take some time to think, he had surprised her by choosing to join them. He hadn’t said a great deal. All he had done was sip tea and stare out of the viewport window. He’d been doing that for over half an hour. Troi was trying to keep an eye on both him and Kristen too.

‘I do not understand why I can’t visit with him,’ she complained, ‘forcing me to stay away from him has no logic. Would it not be easier for you to escort me to him rather than for me to tear holes in your ship? You should allow us to see each other. It is very important that I get to be with him. I need to be near him.’

Troi sighed. ‘Do you not recall the conversation we had? When we tried to give you our reasons for not wanting you to be with him? I know that you think it’s all lies, but it really isn’t. We want to try to help you and heal you and all the time you’re obsessing over returning to Lore’s side, the longer it will surely take for you to move on,’

‘I love him,’ Kristen said; a fact that was simple to her.

‘Perhaps we could go to the holodeck. Do you know what a holodeck is? It’s a place where you can go anywhere at any time and visit with anyone you could imagine,’

‘I want to be with Lore.’

Picard turned to look her way. ‘We have conclusive proof that he kidnapped you and abused you, Kristen. Do those facts mean nothing to you?’

‘No. I want my keeper. I want Lore.’

Troi had almost burst into tears in Data’s cybernetics lab. She didn’t feel the need to cry anymore but the frustration she was holding inside was starting to shorten her patience. ‘You will not be taken to Lore. We will not enable your obsession or allow the hold he has over you,’ she said.

‘Then if you will not take me, I will be forced to re-enter the conduit system. I will do whatever it takes for us to be together. I will-’

‘Enough, Kristen,’ Picard said, with a weary sigh, ‘as soon as I have finished my tea, I will escort you to the brig. Please, be quiet.’

Troi was shocked. She opened her mouth to object but when Picard caught her gaze, he shook his head at her, and she knew better than to argue. Appeased for the time being, Kristen picked up the spoon from her ice cream dish and started to lick it clean as she looked around the room and observed the other patrons in there. For a while, there was silence.

Using her Empathic abilities, Troi tapped into where Picard’s thoughts were. He was far more tired than he looked, worried about Data, shocked by the revelations that had been drawn from Kristen’s nested memory files and also trying his absolute hardest to be fair to all involved parties. He still had no idea what was going to be done with Lore but as much as he despised the terrible things he had done, he still wanted him to be treated as a person instead of as a machine. 

Troi respected that. She was almost at her limit when it came to the horror of it all, but she too believed that the days of switching Lore off or dismantling him were over. They had to be. 

‘I can feel you rummaging around in my mind,’ he said to her.

Troi stopped staring at him. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No apology necessary, Deanna.’ He sipped some tea and then put the cup down. ‘We will take Kristen to the brig and then you and I will let them have some privacy. Afterwards, you and I will go to my ready room and then we’ll talk,’

‘Alright.’

Kristen was anxious in her anticipation when they stood from the table and started to make their way across the room. She started to chatter excitedly but Picard once again asked her to be quiet. She did so, oddly enough, and then they were leaving TenForward and getting on their way. 

Troi let her thoughts expand in the silence and as she tried to work out what possible benefit there could be in allowing Kristen to return to the man who had put her through hell, all she could reach were mental barriers. Lore deserved to be treated as a person instead of a machine but he did not deserve Kristen’s company. Troi wasn’t sure _what_ he deserved. 

Then her thoughts simplified. She reconsidered all that Data had helped them uncover and how terrible she and Picard and the others felt for Kristen. The one thing she asked for, the one thing she insisted that she needed to feel safe and secure and content was to be with Lore. 

_That_ was why Picard was allowing her this. 

Lore was not the same person who had injured her and performed surgery on her without anaesthetic. He had changed in his disposition, towards Kristen at least, and would no more harm her than he would decide on a whim to join Starfleet. He wouldn’t hurt her. Letting them spend at least a bit of time together would be mean the world to Kristen. Simplifying her thoughts even moreso, Troi realised that Picard felt so horrendous after all he’d witnessed that day, that he was trying to do something nice for her. He was trying to give her some peace before her memory files were truly unlocked and she was forced to face so many dark truths.

_A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down._

When it came to the connection between Lore and Kristen, there were no strict rights or wrongs for the time being. For them to be together was wrong on the surface, but beneath that surface there was so much more. For them to be apart caused Kristen obvious pain. Had she not been through enough? Troi’s thoughts spiralled endlessly. 

They reached the brig and by then, Troi had decided that Picard was making the right choice. He was hardly giving them permission to get back into Doctor Soong’s runabout and allowing them to leave the ship. He was allowing a meeting so that Kristen’s desperation would be soothed for a while.

‘In order for this meeting to occur, I have to extend some trust to you,’ Picard said to Kristen.

She was smiling already and shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

‘Do you understand me?’ he asked.

‘You wish me to not misbehave…’ she tried, a touch confused.

‘I wish for you to use this as an opportunity to spend time with Lore, not as an opportunity to further damage my ship. Please remain with Lore behind the forcefield and do not attempt to escape,’

‘We would not be able to. We are your prisoners. If we could escape, we would have done so already,’ she said.

Picard considered her and then he looked to Troi. ‘Let’s get this over with,’ he said.

Troi nodded. The doors opened.

*

Lore was bored. He was staring at the holo-emitters, wondering if there was some way to disable them that he hadn’t thought of yet. During his earlier days on the _Enterprise_ he had tried sending a few pulse signals from networks in his forearm that could be manipulated manually but they didn’t make it past the forcefield, let alone to the emitters. 

It was maddening that such simple technology in comparison to himself was rendering him stuck in a tiny room with no windows and nothing to do to pass the time. 

He had adjusted his hearing so that he could overhear conversations from just outside the brig but ship gossip was far from entertaining. He couldn’t care less about who was dating who and who was getting promoted and who was spending too much time on the holodeck between shifts. Lore spent hour after hour thinking. What else was there to do? There was nothing to analyse but himself and how he felt for Kristen. She wasn’t the only one who was caught in a spell of obsession. The more time that passed, the more he needed her. 

When the brig doors opened suddenly, he looked up from the holo-emitters. Captain Picard and Counselor Troi came in and with them, Kristen. 

_What now? Still, hello beautiful…_

Lore tried not to smile, but found it difficult. He stood up and moved as close he as could to them. Kristen tried to make a run for him, temporarily mindless as to the forcefield, but Picard took her arm and made her stand still. ‘Wait a moment,’ he said to her.

‘To what do I owe this pleasure?’ Lore asked.

‘Due to certain circumstances, I have decided to allow Kristen some time with you,’ Picard said.

Lore frowned and his smile turned cynical. ‘Don’t play games with me,’ he replied, ‘I haven’t forgotten a single thing we’ve talked about. I’m the bad guy here, remember? You’re not going to reward me for what I’ve done. Any kindness you extend to me will be tainted with ulterior motives. I won’t let you use Kristen against me. She’s not a toy.’

Troi flinched at those words and then she moved over to the security panel. ‘I hardly think it is us who have treated Kristen like a toy,’ she said.

‘Agreed,’ Picard added, ‘and this is not a reward, Lore. This gesture is one designed to ease Kristen’s discomfort and her pain. As much as I don’t like it, she needs you and when you are separated, she talks of nothing else. This is for her. Not you.’

Kristen was staring at him and though she wasn’t smiling, he could sense the happiness radiating off her already. Lore felt the same way. ‘What are your terms?’ he asked.

‘You will not try to escape when the forcefield is deactivated. If you do, Kristen will be powered down until we have unlocked her nested memory files and by then, she will not want to see you again of her own accord rather than based on our suggestions,’ Picard replied.

Lore felt a flame of anger ignite inside him. ‘Ah. So you worked out how to power her down… and you know about those files…’

‘Obviously,’

‘What else do you want?’

‘When I come to retrieve Kristen, you will ensure that she is returned to us without fuss or drama.’

Lore’s anger increased. He was not used to being played this way. But then in the past he had never had a true weakness. Kristen was his weakness and Picard knew it. If he tried to escape, and that much had definitely crossed his mind, then they would tamper with her. They had tampered with her already, but clearly they hadn’t damaged the bond he shared with her. If he tried to keep her with him, then they would do everything in their power to keep them apart for good. They would switch him off and power her down. Endgame. 

He was so frustrated that he hadn’t realised that his hands had balled into fists. The pressure in his hands had increased to the point of where his arms were trembling and his sensors were alerting him to the fact that he would soon damage himself if he did not calm down.

_I suppose my many victims would appreciate what I’m going through. They would delight in the fact that I now know how it feels to be trapped, manipulated and controlled. Well, fuck all of you. I don’t regret a damned thing._

‘Lore,’ Picard snapped, ‘do we have an agreement or not?’

‘Yes, we have an agreement,’ he returned, eyes blazing.

Picard nodded to Troi. She tapped in the numerical code. As soon as the forcefield was out, Kristen raced forwards and Lore caught her in his arms. The field was up again automatically. 

‘How long have we got?’ Lore asked.

‘This conversation is over. I will return when I see fit,’ Picard said.

He and Troi shared a look and then they walked out of the brig and the doors closed.

Kristen lifted her hands to his face and Lore looked down at her then, roused by her touch. The mysterious behaviour of those who had them held captive was lost on him for a few seconds as he gazed into those adoring scarlet eyes. 

‘I don’t understand this either,’ she said, ‘but if they want to be kind to me in this way then it benefits us both.’

Lore smiled. ‘Are you alright? What have they done to you?’

‘Nothing. I have been asleep a great deal. They took me to a room with lots of computers but all I remember is falling asleep and then waking up. Troi and Picard took me for ice cream. Then they brought me here,’ she replied. 

He rested his forehead to hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck then, holding him close. Lore knew that they had powered her down and then someone – Data, most likely – had poked around with her positronic grafts. That was the only way they could have discovered that she had nested memory files. He realised that this could be the last time he’d be with Kristen as who he’d made her into. Every time he saw her could be the last time but now he knew they were figuring out her workings, he felt real fear in his heart. 

Kristen noticed that he was affected by his feelings, but she was too innocent to understand how deep they ran or even that he was touched by fear. She pulled back from their embrace and gave him a smile. ‘Maybe they will change their minds and let us go,’ she said, ‘that might be why they’ve gone away to talk now. When they come back, they might release us.’

_Must you be so pure? So sweet? The truth will hurt you all the more when they decide to unlock your memories. Then you will revile me and I’ll lose you. But let’s be real here. I’ve been losing you ever since they beamed us onto this ship._

_I don’t deserve you anyway…_

She took his hand and then she pulled him over to the bench. Lore sat down and then she sat with him, insisting on snuggling up against him with his arm around her shoulders. He held onto her and listened to her chattering about ice cream and a strange woman she’d seen in the ship’s bar who was wearing a funny hat. Kristen then went on to talk about her quarters and how she preferred the bed they’d shared back at Soong’s lab. She had no idea what he was processing. 

Lore managed to zone out from his pain eventually, even though it was hard. He didn’t want to waste this precious time. He looked down at Kristen as she continued to tell him about her experiences on the ship, her tone amiable and her posture relaxed now that she was with him again, and he took in her profile. Her eyelashes, the shape of her lips. He couldn’t find it within himself to hate that he needed her. She was reliant on him and that had given him a sense of purpose he never could have imagined before their paths had crossed. 

_They’ll dismantle me before long. I always knew that was coming. But when they do that, at least I can pass into nothingness knowing that I had one worthwhile experience in my life. I might have hurt you to bring us to this closeness, Kristen, but it has given me more than I think even I can understand._

_When they take me to pieces, I’ll die still loving you._

*

As soon as they were in his ready room, Picard sat down and Troi did too. ‘You’re thinking that I have allowed this reunion because I feel so terrible for what Harper has been through and you’d be right,’ he said.

‘I thought I was supposed to be the telepath here,’ Troi replied.

Despite himself, he smiled a little. It soon faded. ‘Every choice we make right now is balanced on the blade of a double-edged sword. We try to salvage the old Kristen and we injure the new one in the process. We coddle the new Kristen and we insult the memory of who she used to be. I must admit that I am making much of this up as I go along, Deanna. I am not sure what else to do,’ he said.

‘We do have information now, at least. We know the truth,’ 

‘And it is every bit as awful as we thought it would be,’

‘I think it’s worse. What are we going to do about Soshi?’

‘I intend to send a report to Starfleet Command and let them track him down and deal with him. It seems that he had Kristen’s PADD all along so they can use that to trace him. I would like to have words with him myself but there are much more important factors that require my undivided attention,’

‘Absolutely.’

Picard nodded and steepled his hands on the desk. ‘My ship is stationary in deep space. Your ship is holding the same position. I have an android in my brig who is in some ways more evil than I thought possible and in other ways, surprisingly human in his drives compared to who he once was. There is literally no way to punish him and no way to release him. I have another android who is going through the absolute worst heartbreak imaginable and I cannot assuage his pain. I have a former crew member who is the equivalent of a child but with superhuman strength and she is about to be pushed into a world of truth that may drive her mad. I know that life was somewhat dull when my staff and I returned from shore leave, but right now I would give anything just for one day on Risa.’

Troi sighed and then she propped her arm on the chair she was on and rested her head on her hand. ‘We can’t take a holiday from this, as much as I wish we could. It’s not going to end until we figure it out. When do you think we should start to unlock those memory files?’

‘I would rather that we never have to put Kristen through that, but we must. I suggest that we proceed tomorrow. We will repeat what occurred today but we will have Data leave some of those files open,’ Picard replied.

‘Which files?’

‘That is a very good question. I think we should put it to my esteemed First Officer.’ Picard touched his comm badge. ‘Mister Data, where are you?’

There was no response. 

Troi frowned. ‘Computer, please locate Commander Data?’

‘Commander Data is in holodeck two,’ was the cool response.

‘He wanted to be alone,’ Picard said, ‘perhaps we should leave him a while longer. He most definitely required some space following what happened in the lab.’

Troi licked her lips as she thought about that. ‘What do you think he’s doing?’

‘I daren’t wonder. However… it does concern me that he isn’t responding,’

‘I agree. Whether he wants to be alone or not, I don’t like this silence. Try him again?’

Picard tapped his comm badge once more but still Data did not reply. He wanted nothing more than to respect Data’s right to privacy but if he had been overwrought to the point of shutdown or worse, some sort of cascade failure triggered by emotional stress, then he would need assistance immediately. He stood from his desk and Troi joined him. ‘I hope he’s alright,’ she said, ‘shall I ask Geordi to join us?’

‘Let’s see what’s going on before we involve anyone else,’ Picard replied.

The sense of trepidation he was feeling increased during the journey. That Data had not visited the brig was telling but at the same time, his silence was eerie and not at all characteristic. He had long been one of the most dependable members of the crew and Picard did not like that he couldn’t determine what was occurring. 

He felt a stab of guilt for not insisting more forcefully that Data be accompanied when he had left the lab but then it had been rather difficult communicating with him at that time. He’d been in shock and the anger in his eyes had been blatant.

At the holodeck, they asked the computer to give details on what program was running. 

‘Commander Data is running personal program number seven hundred and twelve,’

‘More details, if you will?’

‘The program is set on Terlina III. It has been running for ninety minutes,’

‘Define safety parameters,’

‘Safety parameters have been suspended.’

Troi didn’t wait to ask if they should go straight in. She tapped some buttons on the panel near the door but when she tried to gain access, she found that the controls were locked out to such extents that only Data himself could release them.

‘Picard, authorisation Alpha-Alpha-three-zero-five! Unlock these doors immediately!’

‘Access denied.’

Troi gasped. She and Picard stared at one another for a few seconds and then she shook herself out of her amazement and tapped her comm badge. ‘Geordi, can you come to holodeck two? We have an emergency on our hands!’

*

As soon as the situation was explained to LaForge, he told his colleagues to call for security and then he asked for some kit to be brought to him from Engineering so he could begin to manually take apart the access panel so that he could reverse the coding that was shielding whatever Data was up to. Whilst they were waiting, LaForge began to converse with the computer to try and get more information. 

‘Is Data alright?!’ he asked, the first thing on his mind.

‘He is operational and has not incurred any injury,’ the computer replied.

‘Just because he’s physically unharmed it doesn’t mean that he’s alright!’ LaForge shouted in response.

‘Unable to compute the query. Direction unclear. Please rephrase.’

LaForge shook his head. At times, he loved computers. At others…

‘Can you get us in there?’ Picard asked.

‘I have no idea. I’m going to try my very hardest. I can’t believe he managed to override your access code. I’d say he’d crossed a line with that but after what happened earlier-’

‘We will forgive the transgression,’ Picard interrupted, ‘what is slightly more pertinent right now is reaching him and determining what the hell is going on in there.’

A couple of Ensigns rounded the corner and then the security staff arrived too. LaForge took the kit he needed and set to work immediately as he listened to Picard briefing his officers on the situation. 

The panel was easy enough to open but the technology within it required a careful hand. He’d had to do this before but because of the fact that he was terrified for his best friend’s wellbeing, he found it hard to focus. Eventually, he forced himself to concentrate and then he was shorting out programming and quite literally ripping circuits from their casing. That sort of damage would not be easily repaired, but he was mindless to that. He could injure himself if he wasn’t precise with much of this but he felt that even an electric shock wouldn’t be enough to hold him back now.

He was reminded of stories he’d heard about Mothers using adrenaline and sheer love to rescue their children from danger. It made sense to him, even if he wasn’t yet using physical strength to attempt this rescue. Instead, he was using destruction to get himself and the others to Data. If this holodeck was out of use permanently from now on, what did it matter? The computer told him that he was breaching security protocols but he rolled his eyes. 

‘Quit your backtalk and opened the damned doors!’ he shouted.

There was some movement then and he looked up. The doors had started to rapidly open and close but there was not enough of a gap to get through. He thought for a few seconds and then he changed tactics. He grabbed the kit box and when the doors opened he bent over and wedged it between them. The force he used to do that pulled a muscle in his shoulder but he barely felt the pain. The doors were prised apart.

‘Ingenuity at its finest,’ Picard said, without a hint of dryness at all.

LaForge managed a grim smile and then he and Troi squeezed themselves through the gap and entered the holodeck.

The program had simulated the jungle planet perfectly. It was just as LaForge remembered it, only the last time he’d been there, he hadn’t had his ocular implants and so hadn’t been able to see it as well as he could now. There was nothing occurring outside Soong’s lab and so they moved through the trees and exotic plants as quickly as they could, followed by the security staff. Picard reached the doors first and when they opened, he stepped through them and then he came to an immediate standstill. Wondering why he wasn’t moving onwards, LaForge came to his side and then he saw for himself just what Data was doing.

He had simulated a hologram of Lore and they were fighting. Or rather, Data was fighting and Lore was being executed in a truly vicious fashion. He already had an arm ripped off and some of the bioplast sheeting from his face was torn away to expose the endoskeleton beneath. Data grabbed his brother by his remaining arm and then he used a sharp kick to his midsection so he could wrench it free from his shoulder. There was a sizzle and a shower of bright sparks. Lore was yelling in fright and anger but Data was wordless as he sought revenge. 

Stunned, LaForge looked to Troi. She was too entranced to return the eye contact. 

Data threw that limb away and then he took Lore’s throat in his hand. He pushed him backwards until he was pressed to the wall. His other arm raised and then he punched his fist right through Lore’s chest. There was a loud crunching sound and then Lore’s eyes became completely white as he succumbed to his injuries. Data let his body fall to the floor and then he stepped back and appraised what he had done. 

Unsatisfied with the violence he was undertaking, he rubbed his hands together and then he bent over to pick up Lore’s broken body. He dragged it over to the other side of the room and that was when LaForge realised that Data had been repeating this exact same fight since he had entered the holodeck. The western part of the lab was piled high with torsos and limbs and heads – all belonging to Lore. He’d been doing this for over two hours.

‘Computer, replay the program again,’ Data said, already preparing himself for another round.

‘Computer,’ Picard said, ‘cancel that request.’

Data turned around. 

LaForge moved over to his friend, stepping over debris of broken furniture and glass. He couldn’t ask what Data thought he was doing because it was obvious. He was attacking Lore in the only way he could and by the looks of it, he’d done a thorough job. When he reached Data, he looked into his eyes, trying to figure just how badly he’d lost it. 

‘I have broken Starfleet regulations,’ Data said, ‘and I have behaved inappropriately given the situation at hand. I will not resist any punitive measures you wish to undertake and will accompany you to wherever you wish to take me,’

‘We’re not here to judge you or reprimand you. It might have been nice if you could have given us a head’s up on this instead of overriding the holodeck controls, though. Why didn’t you contact me, Data? Why did you talk to me instead of _this?_ ’

‘Talking would have been ineffective, Geordi,’ Data replied.

Picard and Troi crossed the lab also. Picard waved off the security staff when they tried to follow and at that they turned, confused, and left the scene. ‘I think that for now we should take you to your quarters,’ he said, ‘any further decisions will be made there. Please come with us, Data. Your holodeck privileges have been revoked for the time being, at least.’

Data nodded. ‘Aye Sir. I understand.’

*

Throughout the journey to his quarters, Data noticed that his friends did not seem to know what to say to him. They did not speak to one another either. He wondered if he would need to explain himself or if they understood already what had driven him to breaking regulations in the pursuit of venting his anger. Could they ever hope to understand what he was going through? 

He knew that Captain Picard had suffered greatly in the line of duty, when he was Locutus and when he was tortured and held captive by Gul Madred on Celtris III. Troi and LaForge had also been held as prisoners before, on one occasion by Lore himself, but… what they had been through did not quite seem to compare to what Kristen had been forced to endure. She was oblivious to what had happened to her but because of how much Data loved her; he felt he was now carrying that burden. Since he’d seen through her eyes, seen all of the abuse and the torture and the surgery, he had felt as though he had lost a part of himself. The grief and rage had changed him.

At his quarters, he went in there first and wondered then how to proceed. Captain Picard asked him to take a seat and when Data did, the others remained standing for a while. Troi’s dark eyes were filled with the same shock they’d held when she’d seen what he was doing on the holodeck. LaForge’s face was blank of feeling but it was clear that his head was fit to burst. Picard looked grave, tired and confused. He was the first to sit down, in a chair opposite to the sofa.

‘I apologise for overriding your access code,’ Data said.

Picard sighed. ‘I think we’ll skip the court martial for now. I would like to know why you did that, however. What on earth were you thinking?’

‘I needed to release my anger and did not wish to be stopped,’ 

‘We would not have tried to convince you to bottle up your feelings, Data. Believe it or not, this situation has not been easy for us either. We might not share what you share with Kristen, but we do care for her. The horror of her experiences is not lost on us.’

Data nodded. ‘I appreciate that, Sir. But you have only heard the story. I have now lived the story, due to the fact that Kristen and I were interfaced. It is a part of me now. Much like the memories of the colonists on Omicron Theta, her memories are now stored within me. I cannot and will not delete them.’

Troi moved to sit next to him. ‘How do you feel now that you have managed to express some of your anger?’

‘It was… cathartic.’

LaForge rubbed his forehead and then he paced for a while. He looked angry and Data was confused as to why his friend would feel that way. ‘Are you alright, Geordi?’ he asked.

‘No, I’m not,’ he snapped, ‘don’t _ever_ put me through something like that again!’

‘I do not understand…’

‘Have you any _idea_ how frightening that was for us?! For me? We had no clue as to what was happening and for all we knew, you could have been seriously injured! Why did you disable the security protocols?!’

‘I wished to fight with Lore and as that was not possible, I went to the holodeck,’

‘Yeah, but… you’re not getting this. I’m not getting through. Data, by disabling those protocols you could have been hurt. Badly hurt. That might not mean anything to you right now, but it means one hell of a lot to me!’

The amount of guilt that Data was already carrying, due to the visions still holding weight in his mind, increased then and it had him look away from Geordi. He couldn’t bear it. 

‘Look,’ LaForge said, ‘I know you’ve had the day from hell and that every day for you right now is a nightmare, but please do _not_ risk your safety like that again. If you had been overpowered by Lore on the holodeck, what do you think would have happened? I want you to really think about this. If you had lost your footing, for example, or if he’d been just a little bit faster than you. If that hologram of Lore had managed to disable you or _kill_ you, then what would happen to Kristen?’

Data looked up again, startled by sudden clarity.

‘Yeah. Now you’re with me. If you’d been incapacitated or killed, she would have no-one on this ship to unlock her memories and help her recover. You know that Lore would never do that. He likes her just as she is – a puppet for his entertainment. I can’t connect myself to her with an interface cable and even if I plugged her into the ship’s computer and accessed her mind via console, I would never be able to help her in the way you can.’ 

Data’s eyes filled with sadness. 

‘Kristen might not know you right now, but when we unlock those nested files, she _will_ remember you. She needs you, now more than ever. If you’d been killed, she would be what she is now for the rest of her damned life. Lore would win,’ LaForge pointed out.

Troi put her hand on Data’s arm. ‘He’s right,’ she said, softly, ‘though we understand that you needed to get some of this out of your system, putting yourself at risk is not the way. Please don’t do anything like that again.’

‘Lore would win,’ Data repeated.

Picard rested back in his chair. ‘You should know that if any of us were in your specific situation, we too would be feeling a level of rage that would need to be vented with immediate effect. The holodeck is the perfect place to express that, but not when there is a chance you might be injured or killed in the process. Tomorrow, we intend to escort Kristen back to your lab and there we need you to connect to her again so that we can help her remember who she really is. If you were in pieces right now, and all because of a holodeck program, then what Geordi said is correct; Kristen would be left in her current state forever,’

‘That is not acceptable,’ Data replied, ‘I was selfish. In the pursuit of my need to hurt Lore, I could have deserted her entirely. That was not my intention. I was not thinking clearly,’

‘You were thinking like a human,’ Troi said, ‘and as much as that means a lot to you, we all know that Kristen means so much more. We need you to think like an android, not a human. There is no need for you to turn off your emotion chip, but if I was you, I’d be channelling all of those negative feelings into positive actions. I know you’ve been determined to help her. Nobody doubts that. You just got overwhelmed by what you saw and heard today and you got side-tracked. You’ve unleashed your rage and now it’s time to look forwards. We’re with you. We’re all going to work on this together.’

Data took a breath and then he let it go. ‘I will not return to the holodeck,’

‘Definitely not,’ Picard said.

‘I will not require that, Sir. As I said, my time there today was cathartic and though I still feel angry, it is not overwhelming. I will use my feelings to help me focus on my responsibilities to Kristen. Do you still trust me to help her?’

‘Of course we do!’ LaForge cried.

Relief at having some direction for his emotions, Data thought for a moment. ‘Which memory files do you wish for me to unlock first?’

LaForge sat down, finally, at his other side. ‘Not with what we uncovered today. I think we should show her some of her life on the ship. A good place to start might be with you. Now, I’m not saying that she should know that you two were in a relationship, but if she can at least remember that you were not a threat and that you were close then she might be able to stand being in the same room as you without getting pissed off or nervous, then we’ve got some progress,’

‘I believe that we should unlock files that will show her that she had friends on this ship, that she had a career and that she was happy here and comfortable,’ Picard added.

‘Lore will try to manipulate her,’ Troi said.

‘He can bend the truth but he can’t break it,’ Picard replied.

Data was so moved by this plan that he wished they could retrieve Kristen from wherever she was and get to work immediately. He looked to his colleagues, his friends, and then he recalled which specific memory units he would need to access. ‘I believe that I will do some research on this tonight and then tomorrow, I will head to the lab and begin arrangements for the task,’ he said.

Picard stood up. ‘And if you feel your anger become intolerable again?’

‘I will use it as fuel for my determination.’

Troi gave him a brief hug and then she stood too. ‘Great. Please contact me if you need to talk?’

‘I will. Thank you, Deanna.’

LaForge looked as though he wanted to stay but when Picard nodded to him, he got to his feet and then the three of them went over to the doors. ‘We’ll come to your lab for 10:00 hours,’ he said, ‘in the meantime, do what you need to. Also, try to take some time to reflect. Go easy on yourself, Number One. You are indispensable, as I have told you many times before.’

Data nodded. ‘Thank you, Sir. I will see you tomorrow,’

‘Indeed. Goodnight, Mister Data.’

They left him then. Data sat still for a while, letting his thoughts settle. When Spot jumped up and then climbed into his lap, he looked down at her and then ran his fingers through her fur. The quietness, save for her purring, was a blessing at that moment. He took the time that Captain Picard had suggested, to level his feelings, and then he got up and headed to his workstation.

_Tomorrow, everything changes. Tomorrow, we exchange false memories for truths._


	34. Ghost In The Machine

‘ _The sons of the prophet  
Were valiant and bold   
And quite unaccustomed to fear   
But of all the most reckless   
Or so I am told   
Was Abdul Abulbul Amir._

_If you wanted a man to encourage the van,  
Or harass the foe from the rear,  
Storm fort or redoubt, you had only to shout  
For Abdul Abulbul Amir._

_Now the heroes were plenty and well known to fame  
In the troops that were led by the Czar,  
And the bravest of these was a man by the name  
Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar…’_

Smiling contentedly to herself, Kristen turned her face into Lore’s chest as she listened to him sing. He hadn’t sung to her since they’d been on the jungle planet – home – and his voice was wonderfully soothing. He knew lots of other songs but this one was her favourite. It told a story and she liked how the two characters ended up fighting one another to the death. The lessons on pride it taught did not interest her, but she was invested in the fateful journey. 

She and Lore had been left alone to spend the entire night together, much to their mutual surprise. He was sure that it was some sort of test, that they were being observed at every moment, but Kristen didn’t care. Being with him was all that mattered. They had spent many hours together and then, when the morning came, he had suggested they lay down on the bench and since then she been held in his arms as she listened to his unconventional serenade. 

Enveloped in his warmth and scent, Kristen felt as though all was right with the world. Nothing could ever be wrong when he was close to her and though the mercurial shifts of his moods during the hours they’d been left alone had been somewhat concerning, she was allowing herself to rest and indulge herself in the sense of safety and completion that only he could provide for her.

He finished the song sometime later and she looked up at him. ‘Again?’ she asked.

‘I’ve already sung that song three times for you,’ he replied, amused. His eyes were soft with affection and his tone was equally soft.

‘Okay, maybe not then,’ she said, with a smile, ‘shall I sing to you?’

‘No. I think we’ve had enough singing for now.’ He shifted down somewhat so that they were at eye-level with one another. His hand moved and he brushed the backs of his fingers over her cheek. She leaned in to that touch and then she sighed happily when he leaned in to give her a gentle kiss. ‘I get the feeling they’re going to come for you soon,’ he told her, ‘they’ve already given us a great deal of time. When you leave me again, I’m going to feel… empty.’

Another mood shift, this one subtle but dark all the same. ‘It makes no sense,’ she replied, ‘we’re both prisoners. Why would they keep you here alone and take me away? I know they told me those lies about me living here in the past but it still confuses me. It’s as though I have something they want but I cannot figure out what it is.’

He kissed her again and then considered her. ‘They just want _you_ ,’ he told her.

‘But why? If the things they tell me are not true, then what purpose could I serve for them? What use am I?’

He looked a little sad then.

‘Did I say something wrong?’

‘No. You’ve done nothing wrong at all. You’re perfect.’ Lore gathered her close again and she frowned against his shoulder, wondering what had bothered him this time as he squeezed her in his arms.

Kristen would never change anything about Lore but she did wish at times that she could understand and anticipate the ways his moods turned. When she’d first been delivered to him the previous night, he’d been half-relieved and half-worried. Then the worry had gone and for a couple of hours at least he had been warm and responsive and they’d enjoyed one another’s company thoroughly as they had talked and kissed and made each other laugh. 

The laughter died when he began to speculate as to what the future might hold and though she had tried to distract him with affection, he had been disconnected from her efforts. Then another shift – his worry faded and was replaced by quiet contentment. She had sat on the floor and he had sat on the bench, slowly combing his fingers through her hair as he told her stories about adventures he’d had in space.

Her keeper was a complicated person and though she knew he cared for her, he still held back from saying those three vital words she longed to hear. Lore showed her that he loved her in other ways but to hear him say it clearly would mean so very much. Kristen did not push him. She tried to keep up with his fears and his insecurities just as she soaked up his affection, compliments and kindness. 

Right now, he was becoming maudlin again and if he was correct and they would be parted again before long, she didn’t want them to leave things on such a despondent note. He had said that there had been enough singing for now, but Kristen didn’t agree. 

‘ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away…’_

Lore pulled back from their embrace so he could look at her. His expression was difficult to read but in his eyes, she could see that he needed her. To be needed by the one person she needed more than anyone or anything else was the most incredible feeling. 

‘ _The other night dear, as I lay sleepin'  
I dreamed, I held you in my arms  
When I awoke dear, I was mistaken  
So I hung my head and I cried…_

 _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away…_’

He sighed and then he moved to sit up, taking Kristen with him. His arm remained around her and both of her legs were over his lap. Somehow, she knew not to sing anymore. Her song might have touched his heart, but it had not cheered him. 

‘How can I make you happy?’ she asked, watching as he stared off into the distance, ‘how can I make you feel good? Shall I show you how well I can do cartwheels? I can stand on my head…’

Lore shook his head. ‘No, my sweet one. There’s nothing you can do.’ 

Kristen felt her heart sink. ‘I am making you sad… do you want me to sit over there? Do you require space from me? What shall I do?’

His arm tightened around her and he turned his head then, kissing her temple and then resting his cheek against her forehead; a physical response rather than a verbal one. Being held closer helped her to calm down some but she still felt intent on chasing away the dark clouds that had drifted over him. His perturbation was hers. 

She closed her eyes for a while as she tried to think of ways to make him smile again. Her memories suggested that the only times she’d seen him truly happy was when they were alone and not distracted by others or matters external to what they shared. They were already alone, for security staff were undoubtedly waiting beyond the door, but there was no-one with them inside of the brig. So what could she do? A good pet did not give up on her keeper when he needed to be unburdened of his worries.

Kristen moved her mouth to his cheek and when she’d kissed him there, she then grazed her lips over the sharp, dark point of his sideburn and kissed him there too. Lore didn’t react, but she felt that he was paying attention to what she was doing. That he hadn’t told her to desist was telling as he was always quick to inform her when she was making a situation worse instead of better. She worked her way to his ear and when she had bitten him there in a gentle fashion, she lifted her hand and held the other side of his face. Her mouth continued to play and he continued to allow it.

Her acute ability to hear beyond the norm let her track the beating of his heart and how it had increased in pace just a little. Her keeper might be an android but he had feelings, strong feelings, and they affected his body and his sensitivity to her loving touches and caresses intensely. She stroked his cheek with her fingers as she licked just behind his ear and then she turned her head a little and nuzzled at his jaw. 

Lore tilted his head towards her, encouraging her, and Kristen smiled to herself. 

She dropped kisses at the curve of his jaw and then she moved them down to his neck, still holding his face, still being slow and gentle at a time when she knew he was feeling raw. More playing, more kissing and licking. His hand found her wrist and he pulled her fingers from his cheek. Roused by that movement, Kristen looked up, wanting to see what was going on in his eyes. 

Lore gave her a lazy smile. ‘Be careful,’ he said.

With a light frown, she shook her head a little in confusion. ‘Why?’

‘There are some things we used to do back home that we cannot do here in the brig… and if you carry on like this I might not be able to restrain myself,’ he clarified.

‘Why?’ she repeated.

Lore laughed. ‘Because you’re beautiful and sweet and designed to know exactly what I like. You are very, very hard to resist. We’re on over-time as it is and as much as I don’t care about being caught in the act, I definitely care about you being discovered in a compromising situation.’

She was still confused and it must have shown on her face because he laughed a little more and then he took her other wrist and guided her into straddling his lap. Kristen put her hands on his shoulders as she settled there and then she gave him a smile that was mirrored on his face. 

_I am making him happy. My keeper is smiling. I am worthwhile._

Lore rested his arms around her waist, loosely so, and they watched each other for a while. She wanted to kiss him on the mouth but liked the tilt of his lips too much to proceed. Seconds drifted by and though he kept his left arm around her waist, he lifted his right hand eventually and then he closed his fingers around her throat. 

Her soul shimmered with happiness. She knew he was capable of violence but she also knew he would never hurt her. What he was doing was possessive rather than cruel. There was no pressure, only ownership. He was gentle but firm. It felt wonderful.

‘Lore?’ she whispered.

‘Yes?’

‘I love you,’ 

‘I know,’

‘Do you love me?’

Lore caressed her throat and then he shifted forwards on the bench so that she was unsteadied for a moment. Her hands grasped his shoulders and then, when he had pulled her closer into his embrace, she relaxed into it and moved her forehead to rest against his. Her thighs braced against his and her toes curled. They kissed once or twice; slow, tender. 

He’d never answer that question, it seemed, no matter how many times she asked it. But did he need to? A keeper as kind and giving as he surely did not need to use mere words to express himself. She would like to hear him say the words but if he didn’t want to, she knew she’d have to respect that. Lore was the God of her idolatry and Kristen knew her place. Currently, that place was on his lap and when their kisses increased and deepened, she felt her nerves tingle with desire. 

If they were home on Terlina III, daylight would be breaking around this time and she knew that everything would be simple and yet intense. They’d be in that bed she missed instead of on a gunmetal-grey bench. He would show her more of the wonderful things he’d shown her before – other places to kiss, sensitive areas to touch, where to lick and what to suck. Erogenous zones and hidden pleasures. Under soft cotton covers, he would bend her into unusual positions that seemed odd at first but soon had her gasping and writhing. He knew everything. He taught her so much.

But they were not in a comfortable place and they did not have time to spare.

His tongue performed lusty tricks within her mouth and Kristen hummed with arousal. She wanted him so badly that she felt almost angry with need. Reading that, Lore broke the kiss and then he held her face away from his and looked up at her. His yellow eyes held rays of sunlight.

_You are my sunshine._

‘You are very precious to me,’ he told her, ‘and when things start to change… which they will, very soon… I want you to remember that I care for you more than I have ever cared for anyone. I’ve done bad things, some of which were not becoming of someone who feels so very much for his pet… but what matters is that you’re mine and I am yours. Will you remember that?’

‘Of course,’ she said, ‘nothing will come between us,’

‘That’s left to be seen.’

Kristen moved out of his hold and then she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. ‘They can take me away from you but it won’t change how I feel. They can tell me lies and try to make me think you’re evil, but I will always love you, Lore.’

They were still holding on to one another when the brig doors opened. Footsteps followed. They were no longer alone.

Kristen did not turn to see who had come for her. She tightened her hold on Lore and squeezed her eyes shut. She did not want to see Deanna or Captain Picard or the others who promised clarity but only delivered pain and confusion. She did not and would not believe that the time had come for her to be taken away. She had said that she would behave but it wasn’t so easy when she was so attuned with her keeper.

‘Kristen,’ Deanna said, ‘are you alright? It’s time for you to come with us now.’

Lore tried to pull her arms from around him, but she refused to let go. ‘No,’ she said, ‘I want to stay here! You can’t make me leave!’

‘We knew this was coming,’ Lore whispered to her, ‘I don’t want you to go either, but they have means to force us apart. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,’

‘ _I won’t go,_ ’ she insisted.

‘Come, Kristen.’ That was Captain Picard. ‘We want to give you something to eat and a change of clothes. We talked of trust when I brought you here and if you don’t come with us now, then I won’t be able to trust you again. If you co-operate, then I may allow another reunion for you both.’

Lore kissed her cheek and then her chin. ‘Listen to them,’ he said to her, sounding pained but determined, ‘you will be forced to leave if you don’t let go of me.’

Kristen started to cry. She couldn’t help it. She clung to him like she was ripe from a shipwreck and he was flotsam on a salty tide. ‘No! I won’t let go! I’m staying here!’

Lore sighed. ‘I don’t want you to go…’

‘Then I won’t. I won’t leave you. I love you.’

Captain Picard and Counselor Troi talked amongst themselves for a while, weighing up options on how to force her from the brig. Kristen could have listened in but she didn’t want to. She burrowed her face into Lore’s neck and shuddered as tears rolled down her cheeks.

_This is where I belong. This is where I need to be. Nobody is going to force me away from my keeper, no matter what…_

*

From the moment that Data was summoned to the brig, he knew that he was about to face something horrible. He knew that Lore was held there and that Kristen was there too. He’d asked the computer hours ago as to her location on the ship and though he’d been surprised that she and Lore had been allowed some time together, he’d been forced to accept it. 

He had spent some time talking with Robert Harper that day, updating him on affairs that really hadn’t changed at all. Robert continued to be a great and understanding source of support, but Data wished he could tell him that things were improving. There was a chance they might, when Kristen was in his lab once more, but much was left to be seen. Following that exchange, he had done more research at his workstation and then had lapsed into a mood that was neither productive nor particularly dark. 

Now that he had been asked by the Captain to join him, he knew that he was going to have to forcibly remove her from Lore and from the brig and his mood was significantly complex. He dallied for a moment or two, trying to delay the inevitable, and then he remembered the conversation he’d had with his friends about devoting his negative feelings to positive actions and he strode out of his quarters.

His mind was blank during his journey and that was self-enforced. He kept his gaze downcast and his feelings in check when he finally reached the corridor that would lead him to the brig. Lieutenant N’Dya was standing outside and they made eye contact as he approached. 

‘What is the situation?’ he asked.

‘I’m not sure, Sir… but I assume that Kristen doesn’t want to leave. Do you want me to come in with you? I can’t restrain her like you can but I can try to help?’ N’Dya said.

Data nodded. ‘You may accompany me but I want you to wait on my order,’ 

‘Yes, Sir.’

They walked through the doors and the scene they were met with was appalling. Kristen was sobbing her heart out and though Lore was stood near the forcefield and attempting to converse with Captain Picard and Counselor Troi, she was cowering behind him and her agony was audible. She was clutching onto him and begging to be allowed to remain where she was.

Lore halted mid-sentence and looked to him. Data hadn’t seen him since he’d been beamed over from the runabout. Hatred sizzled in microseconds between them both.

‘ _No_ ,’ Lore said, ‘give me more time to reason with her. I do not want _him_ to take her away!’

‘There is no other option,’ Picard snapped.

‘Like hell there isn’t! Give me some time and I can make this work without you having to frighten her! Just wait a while!’

Data considered the situation and then he decided to act quickly and without mercy. He stepped over to the security panel, tapped in the code and then watched dispassionately as the forcefield was disabled. That done, he nodded to Troi. As soon as he had stepped into the holding area, she raced over and reactivated the field and he was free to do what he had to. 

Lore’s face was crossed with malice but Data was indifferent. He moved over to them and then he wrenched Kristen’s arms from around him and shoved her out of the way. She yelped in shock as she hit the bulkhead behind her and then she fell to her knees. 

Though he expected Lore to attack him, and there was definitely a moment where it seemed like they were going to fight, there was nothing but tension between them and Lore did not advance upon him. Data tore his gaze away from his brother and turned to Kristen again. She was a wreck, shaking and crying out, but he went to her and crouched down. He grasped her forearms without hesitation, wrestled with her for a while and then he managed to hold both of her wrists in one hand. 

‘Let go of me!’ she cried.

‘I regret that I cannot,’ he replied.

He used his free hand to touch behind her ear and turn the dial that would power her down. She moaned, begged for him to release her, and then her eyes closed and she became unconscious.

Data caught her in his arms as she slumped over and then he turned her body and lifted her up as he got back to his feet. 

‘Be careful with her!’ Lore warned.

Ignoring that and also thinking how ridiculous it was given that he was always careful and considerate with Kristen, Data waited for Troi to disable the field. Carefully, he crossed over to N’Dya and then she was passed into his arms. He hoisted her up over his shoulder. The field was once again reactivated.

‘Take her to my lab, Lieutenant,’ he said.

N’Dya nodded. ‘Yes Sir. Anything else?’

‘No, just take her there and leave her powered down.’

Captain Picard and Counselor Troi watched him carry her through the doors and then they both turned and looked to Data.

‘I will follow you,’ he told them.

Picard appraised him for what felt like a very long time. Data nodded to him, trying to assure him with a single look that he was not about to re-create what he had done on the holodeck the previous day. He had no intention of attempting to harm Lore and hoped that it showed in his expression. Troi read his feelings with perfect accuracy, was appeased by what she sensed, and then she put her hand to Picard’s arm. They shared a look and when he understood that Data was not going to act violently or try to see vengeance, he sighed and nodded. 

They slowly moved towards the doors and then exited the brig together.

Silence.

Lore put his hands to his face, ran them through his hair, and then turned and went to sit down on the bench. Data watched him, still keeping his emotions measured and yet also flickering inside with anxiety. The silence continued and though Data knew that he should get out of there, he was held where he was. 

‘What are you waiting for?’ Lore asked him, ‘go with them and tamper with her. You know you’re going to. Why are you hanging around?!’

There was no answer because Data did not have one. All he could surmise was that after all he had witnessed through Kristen’s eyes – torture, pain, surgery without anaesthetic, a fate worse than death – he wanted to face the person, his brother, who had done such horrific things. It made it all more real and yet it was surreal too. Lore had killed so many people, their Father and creator included, and yet he was acting in such a human fashion that it defied belief. He was exhibiting worry and concern and pain. There was no bravado. 

_You are different now. Who are you?_

Data was lost in these moments. He had never felt as though he knew Lore but in the here and now, they were bound by one factor – concern for Kristen Harper.

He had always known Lore to be focused on ambition. He had always been dedicated to his nefarious goals. When he had kidnapped Kristen, he had first planned to destroy her mind and then take her to pieces. He had wanted to bestow vengeance on the person who had always been the favourite, the person who had always come first, the one who had stolen his limbs and then buried him in the ground as though he was dead. He had wanted to break Kristen apart and then send those pieces back to the _Enterprise_ so that Data would be destroyed by the impact. 

But as he had come to know his captive, as he had come to understand that Kristen was kind and soft-hearted, he had been ensnared by her. She had seen through his madness and strived to know who he really was. Data knew all of this because of what he had seen. He could understand Kristen’s sensitive and sympathetic motivations because he was familiar with her unfailing desire to help others, but he did not understand Lore and how he had allowed himself to become vulnerable instead of driven.

Was it an even deeper layer of deception and cruelty that would require an expert on psychology to understand or was it… love? Did he truly love Kristen? Had she become his Achilles heel?

‘Why are you staring at me?!’ Lore yelled.

‘I am attempting to understand you,’ Data replied.

‘It’ll take more than staring at me,’ Lore snapped, ‘why don’t you just fuck off?’

Data couldn’t shift his gaze, however, and nor did he intend to leave yet. His thoughts were becoming more and more complicated by the second. He was analysing the apparently strong emotions that Lore felt for Kristen and also reliving much of the terrible things that had been done to her. It seemed unlikely that one could care for someone and yet also put them through such agony. Data knew that he could never inflict pain on her. He’d been firm with her just a few moments ago, but it was for her benefit in the long-run. 

He could _never_ hurt Kristen, but Lore could and had. But he and his brother were not alike at all, save for their looks and status as artificial beings. 

‘Alright, if you won’t leave me alone then maybe you can answer a few questions I have,’ Lore snapped.

‘What do you wish to know?’

‘To start with, when are you going to deactivate me and take me apart?’

‘That matter has been discussed and it has been decided that neither of those things will occur,’

‘I don’t believe that. Not for one second. Every time you and I end up in the same place, you do all you can to deny my rights and treat me like I’m faulty equipment!’

Data raised his eyebrows. ‘That is not true. I have dismantled you only once and that was because you had attempted to murder-’ 

‘Whatever, _dear brother_ , whatever. There is always an excuse and seldom a reason. I wish you’d put a stop to this and tell me the truth! How long do I have before you switch me off?’

‘You will not be switched off.’

Lore laughed. ‘Right. So what _are_ you going to do with me? We already know what you’re going to do to Kristen. You’re going to connect yourself to her again and force her nested memory files open. I hope you know how tough that’s going to be for her. She’s fragile and innocent. She will not understand what the hell is going on. Who will be there for her? Who will support her when she opens her eyes and feels as though she’s in two different realities at the same exact time?’

‘I will be there for her,’ Data said, his tone tightening with irritation. Lore was talking to him as though Kristen had always been his, as though he had some ownership over her, as though she was a thing to be possessed rather than a sentient being that deserved so much more. Hatred flared inside him but he managed to keep it under control. ‘I will do everything I can to restore her,’

‘Good luck with that. If you try to remove her hardware, she’ll die and it’ll be all your fault,’

‘I know already that I cannot remove the grafts. That does not mean that I will not work my hardest to dissolve your hold over her and give her the independence she deserves. If there is a way to bring the real Kristen Harper back, I will find it. I will not cease in my efforts until she is who she used to be,’ Data replied.

‘And who did she used to be, Data?’

‘She used to be someone who could think for herself and make her own decisions. She was a Starfleet officer and a gifted Counselor. She was a daughter and a sister and a friend. She was also my fiancée.’

‘ _Was_ being the operative word.’ Lore smiled.

‘This amuses you?’

‘I guess you could say that,’

‘I do not understand how any of what Kristen is suffering could provide you with amusement. You have hurt her in every way one can hurt another,’

‘Oh, Data. What could _you_ possibly know of hurt? I concede that having your girlfriend kidnapped and turned against you must sting a little, but when it comes to true pain, you have no experience at all.’

Data knew he was being goaded. He wanted to snap at his brother, to tell him of the many encounters he’d had with loss and stress and sadness. True, it had taken having his emotion chip fitted for him to be able to articulate those feelings, but they were real and had caused him a great deal of upheaval. Kristen, when still his therapist, had even diagnosed him with depression. 

He’d lost Tasha Yar, the first person he’d been intimate with and a friend he had valued, and then he’d been betrayed by her sister Ishara. He’d lost his daughter Lal when she succumbed to cascade failure. He’d lost other colleagues, seen people die. He’d held their Father as he had died. He had been captured by the Borg and had been experimented on by their Queen… he’d been violated, used…

A great deal of situations, both professional and personal, had affected Data and it didn’t matter that it had taken him years to be able to respond emotionally. Lore was wrong. He knew all about hurt. He’d been hurting constantly since Kristen had disappeared.

‘What’s the matter?’ Lore said, ‘something bothering you?’

‘I was considering how you truly do not know me at all,’ Data replied, ‘you believe that I know nothing of pain, but that is inaccurate,’

‘Says the one who has been allowed to live,’ Lore sneered, ‘says the angelic favourite son of our creator, with his Starfleet medals and shining halo. You’ve always had everything and you’re so spoiled and coddled by those around you that you can’t see it. Your colleagues indulge you, they accept you, they _value_ you,’

‘You are jealous,’ Data said.

Lore stood up. ‘You’re damned right I am!’ he yelled.

They glared at one another. ‘You fail to understand that people treat you the way you have treated them. If you are hostile and mistrustful and cruel, then others will return that negativity and it will be reflected in their attitudes and opinions also,’ Data told him, ‘you had already killed a great deal of people before I was constructed. You had the chance to make friends, but instead you chose to communicate with the Crystalline Entity so that it could devastate the colony and consume them.’

Lore was seething. ‘It’s as simple as that, is it?’

‘I believe so, yes,’

‘You’re wrong. You’re unbelievably narrow-minded! I was NOT given the same chances as you! I wasn’t programmed to be evil or violent, I was made to be that way! I had human feelings right from day one and before I could even make sense of them or understand how to use them, I was forced to mix with the colonists. You can have no idea how hard that was for me. They were scared of me! Old Often-Wrong assured me constantly that the colonists would adapt but they didn’t!’ 

‘Lore-’

‘Shut up and listen! They ousted me, hated me, bullied me and did everything they could to remind me that I was an abomination. They played tricks on me and messed with my head constantly. I was trying to understand the world as I passed into sentience, but what chance did I have? I was forced out of the nest before I even understood the concept of flying. When YOU began to experience emotion, you were supported by your friends and people who had already cared for you for years! You had everything and you always have! I have had NOTHING but pain and rejection! Soong rejected me, Juliana did, you did! Nobody understands what I’ve been through! Nobody has ever taken the time to hear me or know me!’

Data could understand, to some extent, what Lore was shouting at him but he still did not believe that any of it was a valid excuse for the vile things he had done. ‘You cannot justify the lives you have taken nor the abuse and cruelty you have put upon others and upon Kristen. There is nothing you can say that can condone the multitude of crimes you have committed.’

Lore laughed and then he rubbed his face again. 

‘Also, you are wrong that nobody has taken the time to listen to you. Ria loved you but you brutalised her and then you encouraged Kristen to attack her. She died, not because of what Kristen did but because of the stress and surgery you had already forced upon her. Kristen also listened to you. She tried to reach you, to be your friend. But you hurt her too. What you did to her was beyond evil, Lore. When I was connected to her, I saw everything. You removed her limbs and her eyes. You allowed her to suffer unthinkable agony-’

‘I licked her blood off my fingers. It was nice. It tasted sweet.’

Data gritted his teeth. Anger pulsed inside him.

‘I tasted more than her blood, too. She’s sweet all over, inside and out…’

‘This conversation is over.’ 

Lore chuckled to himself as Data turned and moved over to the doors, but when he got there the laughter stopped abruptly and he asked him to wait a moment. ‘What do you want?’ Data asked.

‘I want you to know that you owe me this. You owe me Kristen, after everything you’ve taken from me,’ Lore said, in a sharp and serious tone.

Data was incredulous. ‘She is not property,’ he snapped in return, ‘and I owe you nothing, Lore,’

‘Like hell you don’t! Need I list every single time you have wronged me? Again? Father only ever cared about you. He made it clear he had a favourite and did it ever matter that I had problems that could be fixed with just a little time and effort? No. The moment he felt he had achieved perfection, he ignored his ‘mistake’ and he devoted himself to you completely. He left me dismantled and put everything he had into giving you more, more, more when I had nothing to begin with,’ 

‘You made those feelings clear to him before you murdered him,’

‘Yeah, I did. But what about _you?_ If it wasn’t enough that you had everything I wanted, you had to take from me also, didn’t you? You stole my legs and buried me in the ground! You had Ria throwing herself at you! You’ve got a home, friends, a career, a life! You’ve been given all the chances I was never given!’

‘None of this is my fault,’ Data said, shaking his head in disbelief, ‘and I will not let you continue to abuse Kristen as some sort of payment for all you feel has been taken from you,’

‘You OWE me her!’

‘I do not,’

‘When will I matter to someone? When will someone, anyone, take me seriously?!’ Lore shouted, eyes ablaze with pain.

‘Lore, I cannot answer these questions…’ Data attempted.

‘You’re not even remotely interested in me are you? The first time we met, you put your duties before me and would not extend me even the smallest amount of trust,’

‘It is a good job I made that decision for if I had not, everyone on the ship would have died,’

‘Did you not hear a single thing I said to our Father when he called us both to his lab? Did it not affect you at all when I made him try to explain why he had always ignored me and put you first? If you and I were human, he would have paid for that. He would have been viewed as an emotionally neglectful parent! He would have been seen as abusive!’

‘I do not know what to tell you,’ Data snapped, ‘but I am leaving now. I have more important things to attend to,’

‘Just… please be careful with her, will you?! Don’t frighten her! Don’t hurt her!’ Lore yelled.

‘Unlike you, I could never hurt her,’

‘You’re about to. You’re about to bring her into a world of pain! You’d better be gentle with her, or I swear I will find a way out of here and I will make you suffer,’

‘Lore-’

‘If you damage her or if you scare her, I’ll kill you,’ Lore snarled, ‘I love her, Data. I love her enough to kill for her. I love her enough to kill you and everyone on this ship if it means making sure she’s going to be okay!’

Data stared at him for a long moment. ‘You have no idea what love is,’ he said, and then he turned and left the brig.


	35. Schism

At the lab, Counselor Troi was wishing that Data would hurry up. The longer he took in following them, the more she kept wondering the specifics of what he and Lore were discussing. She didn’t particularly wish to be nosey but she couldn’t deny to herself that she was keenly interested in how the two of them were interacting. 

As a psychologist, she found the idea of two android brothers who had strong emotional drives and an intense mutual hatred of one another fascinating, given they hadn’t spent any real time together for years and only now were getting to look each other in the eye and talk. As Data’s friend, she was concerned for his wellbeing. The stress he’d been under as of late was worsening all the time and it was obvious that he was struggling. The only way Data would not struggle would be to turn his emotion chip off but there was no way he would do that. 

As someone who did not like Lore but was definitely curious as to the changes in his personality and desires, she was oddly concerned for him too. 

The entire situation was providing both men with immeasurable internal conflicts but Troi was also conflicted. She would always take Data’s side, due to knowing him and caring for him for so very long, but Lore’s feelings for Kristen had Troi wondering almost constantly. When Captain Picard had decided to allow Kristen and Lore to spend time together, she had opposed it, even if she had eventually come to understand and even support his reasoning. She was still shocked by what Lore had done, but also she could not help but wonder how he had come to be who he was. It wasn’t a case of nature, there was no way it could be, so was it nurture? Or a lack of nurturing? 

There were times she felt deep anger towards Lore but then there were other times when she was forced to consider the things he had been through. The words he’d shouted on the holodeck when strapped down and immobile still haunted her. 

_‘Yeah, switch me off! Switch me on, switch me off, switch me on again! Take me to pieces, put me back together! It doesn’t matter, does it? Because I’m not a real person with feelings and memories and opinions, am I? No! I’m just an android! I’m just a thing! My only worth is what I can do; how strong I am, how many operations I can compute per second, how long I’ll live, how fast I can move! I’m a doll, a mannequin, a fucking marionette! How can YOU talk of violations, Picard? How can YOU throw injustice at me when even at this moment you’re treating me like a box of circuits instead of a sentient individual who aches and hurts and feels fear?!’_

He was the antithesis to morality and yet Troi knew he’d been wronged in ways that would be viewed as severe neglect and even torture if they were applied to a human being. She despised him and yet she also felt bad for her part in the way he’d been treated.

She helped LaForge as he and N’Dya settled Kristen into the central holding platform and she frowned to herself throughout that task, trying not to worry about Lore or about Data. She had to remind herself that Data had been level when they’d left him with his brother and that he hadn’t felt violent or undone enough to do anything regrettable. It was highly unlikely that he wanted anything more than the right to face the person who had wrecked his personal life but still she wished he’d arrive soon and put her mind at rest.

_Data, where are you? Come on, old friend…_

When Riker walked through the doors, relief washed over her. Troi hadn’t known that he wanted to attend this meeting but to see him come in was a wonderful tonic. He nodded to her with a small smile and then he and Captain Picard moved away so they could talk for a while in private.

‘If Data doesn’t get here soon then I’m going back for him,’ N’Dya said, as he stood behind Kristen and held her up.

‘He’ll come,’ LaForge said, as he held her face in one hand and connected the interface cable to the port on the side of her head with the other, ‘I know what he did on the holodeck was pretty ugly, but I think we got through to him when we spoke afterwards. I’m still mad at him for worrying us like that but that doesn’t mean I don’t trust him. He knows that if he hurt Lore or deactivated him it would only hurt Kristen. He won’t do that.’

Troi agreed with that but still she kept looking over to the doors, willing them to open.

When Data walked through them ten minutes later she felt yet more relief and sighed audibly at the intensity of it. Data looked rankled but he was clearly still determined to get to work because he headed straight for them and asked Doctor Crusher how Kristen was doing. 

‘I can’t comment on her feelings, but on a physical level she’s doing great. All of her vital signs are strong and according to what my readout says, she’s even gained a little weight over the past week. It looks like the diet plan I created for her is working, though her penchant for ice cream has likely been of benefit too. She needs to gain a little more weight but if she carries on as she is, she’ll get there soon enough. Overall, she is healthy and stable for what we’re about to do,’ Crusher replied.

Data nodded and then he turned to look at Captain Picard. ‘Sir? I require your input,’ he said.

He and Riker came over. ‘Are you ready to proceed, Number One?’

‘Yes. We discussed the types of memories you wish me to unlock… shall I begin with her place on the ship or with the friendships she has made?’

‘I have a suggestion,’ Troi said.

Data turned to her. ‘Yes, Counselor?’

‘Can you transfer over a version of your modesty subroutine? She doesn’t have one and I think it might be a good place to start.’

He frowned. ‘That is basic interpersonal programming…’

‘I know, but it’s something she lacks.’

There was a flicker of annoyance at learning that truth but then Data shook it off and asked LaForge to insert the other end of the interface cable into one of his access panels. The two friends worked together for a few moments and then there was silence as android was connected to cyborg. 

Troi felt Riker come to stand behind her and when his hand landed on her waist, a show of support and a reminder that he was there and shared her worry, she glanced up at him. His eyes remained on Data and Geordi, but his nearness was still bolstering during this difficult time. Troi turned again so she could watch them too. 

‘She’s fine,’ Crusher said, with a swipe of her medical tricorder, ‘feel free to align your neural nets, Data,’

‘Thank you, Doctor. Processing… processing…’

More silence. The blue lights on Kristen’s positronic grafts began to flicker more quickly just as they had the last time and also, her eyelids twitched as though she was deep in REM sleep. She made a quiet little sighing sound and then she relaxed again. 

Data and Doctor Crusher looked to one another on occasion, communicating silently as he began to work within Kristen’s neural nets. Crusher was satisfied that all was well and eventually, when she realised she should move back and allow Data some space, she stepped down and got out of the way. N’Dya followed that, happy to let Kristen stand up on her own. 

LaForge did not move and Troi understood that much. He was keeping an eye on Data and wanted to be close in case something went wrong. 

‘I have modified my modesty subroutine and I am now installing it into her cognitive mainframe,’ Data said, now looking straight at Kristen.

‘How long will it take?’ Riker asked.

‘The transfer is almost complete,’ Data replied, and then, ‘ah…’

‘What is it?’ Captain Picard asked.

‘There is some… unexpected resistance… it seems that I can work with her nested memory files but introducing new programming requires permission,’

‘Can you override?’ Picard asked.

‘I am attempting to. Lore might have experience with melding organic and artificial life but due to my work on creating Lal, I have more experience than he does with programming. Please standby.’

Fifteen long and uncomfortable minutes passed. Nobody said a word. Data did not move and nor did he look away from Kristen. 

Kristen winced on occasion but Troi could sense for herself that her friend and former protégé was not in any pain. Her facial responses to what was happening to her seemed to come more from subconscious confusion rather than genuine discomfort. LaForge leaned on the bars of the platform, watching everything that was happening with great concern. He would not get involved at such a sensitive stage and nor would he ask questions when Data needed to concentrate, but he remained pensive all the same.

Finally, there was a breakthrough. 

‘The subroutine is installed,’ Data said, with a hint of relief.

‘Great,’ LaForge said, ‘so now you can take a look at those nested memory files,’

‘That is correct, Geordi,’

‘Data, I think you should put an end to all of this nonsense about her not being allowed to be near you,’ Riker suggested, ‘if you can help her remember the friendship you two had, then she might be able to tolerate your presence from now on. It’ll make life easier for you both and for everyone else too,’

‘Agreed,’ Picard said, ‘however, do not be tempted to have her remember anything more than friendship. We must be extremely cautious. This is a very delicate situation indeed.’

Data looked to both Captains. ‘I understand,’ he said, and then he faced Kristen again. ‘I am familiar with the relevant engrams. Please standby. I will communicate any significant factors.’

Troi felt Riker squeeze her hip very gently. She swallowed and then licked her lips, wishing her mouth hadn’t turned dry so very suddenly. 

Something she often did when nervous was to read the thoughts and feelings of those around her and she did that then, needing to know if everyone else was as nervous as she was. Data was holding down his darker emotions so that he could engross himself fully in his task. LaForge was anxious for Kristen and his best friend too. N’Dya and Crusher were definitely nervous. Riker and Picard were feeling the same way but they were also desperate to see some real change in Kristen. They badly wanted for her to remember at least some of her previous life. 

Data mentioned which memory units he was working with, but Troi couldn’t recall which was which. He knew what he was doing and that was by far the most important thing. The silence in lab was punctuated only by his occasional updates and then, nearly an hour later, Data closed his eyes and tilted his head. 

‘What’s going on?’ LaForge asked.

‘I am disconnecting the link. I have uncovered enough for Kristen to be vaguely familiar with all of us,’ Data replied.

Doctor Crusher joined them again. She performed some checks and then, when she was satisfied that all was well, she smiled a little. ‘Tell me when to remove the cable and then I’ll power her back up,’ she said.

‘You may proceed now,’ Data said.

The cable was taken away, first from Kristen and then from Data. LaForge got it out of the way and then everyone there moved closer so they could spectate as to what might happen next. 

‘Not too close,’ Picard ordered, holding up a hand, ‘we don’t want to suffocate the poor girl.’

N’Dya moved back and LaForge stepped down from the platform. Riker took Troi’s hand and they joined their colleagues. Crusher nodded to Data and then she moved her hand behind Kristen’s ear and turned the dial that would bring her back to full consciousness.

*

Swirls of discordant imagery had Kristen cringe with discomfort even before she opened her eyes. There were no voices to fill her ears and yet she heard silent noises that clashed with the chaos in her mind. Reaching out with her arms, she felt soft fabric beneath her fingertips and then her hands were taken from the fabric and were held in a gentle fashion. Finally, she let her eyelids part and that was when she saw a face before her that was both familiar and yet confusing. 

She gazed into amber eyes and wondered which one of them it was. Not-Data? Not-Lore? They were identical. She could not tell them apart.

‘What have you done to me?’ she asked.

‘I have unlocked some of your memories,’ was the patient reply, ‘do you know where you are? Who you are?’

‘I am…’ She turned and looked to the others, all standing around her. ‘I am Kristen.’

Captain Picard moved to stand by her side. She remembered him as her captor still but now there was more. She recalled knowing him for longer than seemed possible. Conversations they had shared about subjects that were lost on her. 

She realised it was Data she was with, not Lore, and she clutched at his hands with her own. He watched her with great and open concern and that was when she knew that he was not the adversary she had been told he was. He was too worried by what she was feeling to insinuate danger or overbearing control. Kristen had not forgotten what Lore had told her about all Data had done to him, but she did recall a curious closeness to him that was confounding. 

‘I will not harm you,’ he told her, looking her in the eye, ‘I will not harm Lore either. You are safe here. Do you believe me?’

‘I want to…’ she said, unsure.

Deanna stepped forwards then. ‘She’s not afraid,’ she said to the others, ‘she’s extremely confused but she’s not going to lash out or run away.’

Picard nodded. ‘Good. Kristen, what do you remember?’

‘I remember… all of you… but that cannot be. I have not been here on the ship for a very long time. I seem to be able to remember your faces and your voices from before I was brought here. All of you… you know me… and I know you…’

Data lowered her hands to the bar in front of her and then he guided her fingers into holding onto it. Kristen wasn’t sure why he had let go of her, but didn’t question the action. She looked up at him and stared at his face. Guilt lanced through her when she considered that though her keeper had told her to stay away from him, she was not ordering him to leave and nor was she backing away or looking for an exit. Curiosity and nostalgia seemed to be overriding her obedience. 

‘You know me,’ she said to him.

‘Yes, I do. Before your memories were altered, we were friends. Can you recall that?’

‘I do not know… you seem extremely familiar to me but that might be because you look so much like my keeper,’

‘It is not because of that,’ Data replied, ‘the full truth is that you were brought here to my cybernetics lab so I could connect us with an interface cable. I aligned our neural nets and unlocked some of your memory engrams. I have not unlocked all of them, because you will need time to assimilate the information currently unravelling in your mind, but eventually I will unlock more. It is time for you to become who you used to be. Do you understand?’

Kristen remembered the things these people had tried to tell her. She opened her mouth to argue with Data, but then she found that she didn’t know what to say. These Starfleet officers were so intent on putting their point across that for a moment or two she was struck dumb by it. In those seconds of silence, more memories became available to her. 

_Talking and laughing with Deanna… hot chocolate and Tai Chi…_

_Geordi visiting me in sickbay when I was injured following the accident…_

_Ben visiting me in a room that looked like an office so he could talk to me about his frustrations…_

_Will trying to encourage me to like jazz music and the jokes we shared about the fact I really was not interested…_

_Confiding in Beverly, trusting her with my safety, my health…_

_Encouragement and sometimes stern words from Captain Picard…_

_So much time spend with Data… he and I shared a special bond. We saw one another every single day. Was he my best friend?_

‘I want you to run a self-diagnostic,’ he said.

She blinked. ‘Why?’

‘Because I need to know that what you are experiencing currently is not too much for you,’

‘Alright.’

She closed her eyes as she performed the operation. The others talked amongst themselves as she continued to check her internal reserves for signs of stress or error and Kristen was amazed to realise that she didn’t feel as anxious around them as she had before. She had come to accept Deanna’s presence and even Captain Picard’s to some degree also, but since she’d been connected to Data something subtle had transpired that had eased her discomfort. She completed the diagnostic, noting that she had a new subroutine, and then opened her eyes again.

Data was watching her with the strangest look on his face. In these most unusual of times, he seemed to be as lost as she was.

‘Are you alright?’ she asked.

‘That is not important. What did your diagnostic report?’

‘I am functioning within established parameters,’ she told him.

‘It is extremely odd to hear you say those words,’ he replied.

‘Why?’

‘Because when we knew one another in the past, you were completely organic and it was I and I alone who used that terminology.’

She felt a flutter inside. It was wrong, she knew, to feel anything but hate for the android currently helping her, but she couldn’t deny the subtle changes inside. His nearness was unusually comforting. ‘I was a real girl,’ she replied, ‘the others tried to tell me that before. I thought that it was all lies… it must be lies, because Lore would not deceive me,’

‘That is incorrect,’ Data told her, ‘Lore has deceived you a great deal. But do not concern yourself with that at the moment. We must move you back to your quarters so that you can process the memories that will continue to return to you.’

Captain Picard and Counselor Troi stopped talking then and the others did too, apparently sensing that it was time to proceed. Kristen felt like a rabbit within a pack of wolves… but the wolves did not seem to be hungry anymore, instead they seemed to be protective. She was helped down from the platform she had been standing on and then the man she remembered as Ben came to her.

‘Can you walk, Kris? I can carry you if you feel too weak,’ he said, with a helpful smile.

‘I can walk, thank you,’ she replied.

‘Let us move on then,’ Picard said, ‘LaForge, you may return to Engineering. Doctor Crusher, I think we’ll be alright without you also. I will call for you, however, should anything change. N’Dya, please go to the brig and stand watch there.’ He turned then and looked to Riker. ‘What are your plans?’

‘I think I’ll stay with you all, if that’s alright?’

‘That’s fine. Mister Data?’

Kristen looked to Data, wondering what he would say. ‘I would like to accompany you also, Sir,’ he said.

‘Is that alright with you, Kristen?’ Troi asked.

She worried and bit her lower lip. Lore would surely be most displeased if she allowed any of this to go further, but her curiosity was piqued and it was too intense to ignore. ‘I’d like him to come,’ she said, in a small voice.

Picard and Data exchanged a look that Kristen found hard to read and then their group was leaving the lab and they were walking down the corridor. Deanna stayed at her right side and Riker stayed at her other side. Kristen felt safe between them and safer still knowing that the Captain and Data were right behind her. Before she had been powered down, being boxed in like this would have angered her. She would have been begging to go with Ben to the brig, but instead she was proceeding onwards and not making any fuss at all.

It took a while to get back to her quarters. When they were there, Picard led the way inside. With a gentle hand, Data took Kristen’s arm and then he guided her over to the sitting area. Deanna and Riker went to the replicator to fetch some drinks. Kristen sat down and when Data sat by her side, she did not move away or recoil. Instead, she looked up at his face again. 

‘I think I remember something about you,’ she said.

‘What do you remember?’ he asked.

‘Do you have a cat?’

He smiled and then the smile faded. ‘Yes, that is correct. She is called Spot.’

Riker sat down at her other side with a cup of coffee. Kristen had never tasted coffee, as far as she knew, before but somehow she recalled the name and the scent made her mouth water. ‘What is that? It smells amazing…’

‘This used to be your favourite drink,’ he replied, ‘here.’

She took the cup, thanked him for it and then allowed herself a small sip. The flavour would have been bitter had it not been sweetened with a touch of sugar and a dash of cream. It tasted so unbelievably good and it also brought a flood of nostalgia. 

_This flavour… it is wonderful. I remember it. This is not a false memory. I remember drinking this at morning meetings with these people. It helped to wake me up. Data and I drank it together. I know we did…_

Troi sat down with some hot chocolate and Picard joined her, holding a cup of his favourite tea. ‘How is it?’ he asked.

‘I have never tasted anything more delicious,’ she replied.

He smiled. ‘I hope that now you are recalling some elements from your past, you are coming to understand that myself and my crew care very much for your wellbeing. We’re not going to cease in our efforts to try and assist you in your recovery. Today is the beginning of what will no doubt be a tough journey for you, Kristen. But you have friends here and you have all the support you need.’

She sipped more coffee, listening.

‘If you need anything from any of us, all you have to do is ask,’ Riker offered.

‘I remember you playing a musical instrument,’ Kristen said, ‘was it a guitar?’

‘No, I play the trombone,’

‘Oh. You wanted me to appreciate jazz music as you do, but…’

Riker smiled. ‘But what?’

‘I tolerated it instead of enjoying it. I prefer violin music. Classical pieces… Bach… Chopin…’

The others all looked to Data then and Kristen frowned in confusion. ‘I play the violin,’ he explained, ‘and you attended a Chopin concert I performed before you left the _Enterprise_.’

Picard sipped some tea and then put the cup down. ‘It is pleasant that you can handle being in the same room as Data now,’ he observed, ‘do you understand that he was your friend?’

Kristen put her cup down too. ‘Forgive me,’ she said, ‘all of this is very odd… I am trying to correlate my old memories with my new ones. There are still so many gaps. I recall all of you as non-threatening presences in my life… but I am unsure how Lore will feel about that. He is my keeper and that much has not and will not change. I love him. You need to know that my feelings for him will not alter, no matter how much you try to help me remember what has gone before,’

‘But you at least concede that you did live here in the past?’ Picard put to her. 

‘Unless you have installed a program into my neural net that is composed of false information, then I have no choice but to believe you. The only new programming my internal diagnostic suggested was a modesty subroutine,’ she replied.

Troi smiled politely. ‘I thought it might be helpful for you to have that,’

‘I understand,’ Kristen replied, ‘but… but…’

The room seemed to blur for a moment and she realised it was because her internal alert system had been activated. 

_Bleep… bleep… bleep…_

Kristen shot to her feet and cocked her head as familiar urges raced through her sensors. Data stood up also, asking her if she was alright, but she ignored him. She also ignored Troi and Riker when they did the same thing. She knew that her keeper had summoned her and she was trying to figure out the best route to take. Ben was outside the brig and as she didn’t want to hurt him, she knew she’d be better off entering the conduit system again so she could get to Lore quickly and without posing a threat to anyone else.

_Bleep… bleep… bleep…_

She strode out of her quarters and then she halted and took a look around. Data followed her instantly, as did the others. ‘Wait,’ he said to her, ‘please tell us what is occurring? What has frightened you?’

‘I am not afraid,’ she snapped, ‘I have been summoned. Do not try to hold me back because when I have been called, I am unable to do anything but comply. It would be best for you all to stay away and allow me to do what I need to,’

‘Is there no way you can fight this?’ Picard asked her.

She gave him an impish smile. ‘Why would I want to?’

Turning then, she opened an access hatch and then she pulled herself into the Jefferies tube and began to crawl forwards on her hands and knees. 

_I’m coming, Lore. Despite these confusing events, I haven’t forgotten my place._

*

Following the confrontation Lore had had with his brother, he was almost mindless with anger and injustice. To be told that he did not know what love was had been painful and infuriating in equal measures. He had allowed some time when Data had left, a great deal of time really, and then when he had finally found it within himself to calm down and collect himself, he had sat and slowly peeled back his thumbnail. 

Wondering where Kristen was and what was being done to her, he hoped that she was not being tampered with again. To alert her during a delicate invasion of her positronic grafts could be dangerous. Somehow, he knew that it was the right time to call her home. The subliminal connection between them was not what it had been back on Terlina III but that did not mean that they were not still joined like soul mates. 

_I know what love is, Data. I know exactly what love is. I’ll prove it if I have to. I’ll make you see just how much Kristen means to me._

He pushed down on the inner circuitry beneath his thumbnail and then relaxed into the knowledge that she’d be on her way immediately. He just hoped that she would be alright, that she would be the same sweet girl who had been shivering and crying in his arms that morning. Or, if she had changed in some way, he hoped that she’d still hold traces of who he’d made her to be. 

_Please be you, Kristen. Please be you…_

It took four minutes and seventeen seconds for her to reach the brig. The damage she had done to the ceiling the last time she had torn through it had not been fixed due to the chance of a repeat performance and so when her legs appeared and she then dropped down and landed on the floor, Lore smiled to himself. 

Kristen was not the emotional wreck she had been earlier. She looked composed and also determined to new extents. Brushing hair back from her face, she stood up and then she faced him. Her face was cast with violet light due to the forcefield and Lore was struck for a moment by how lovely she was and how badly he needed her. He knew he was losing her, but that only intensified the need. 

‘Where have you been?’ he asked, standing from the bench, ‘what did they do to you?’

‘They took me to a lab. They have started to unlock my memories,’ Kristen replied.

Lore was not prepared for her tone. She did not sound hateful or resentful. ‘And what do you remember?’

‘I did live here before. I had friends here. Friends who cared for me and knew me,’ she said, ‘but it doesn’t matter,’

‘Oh? Why not?’

‘Because my place is with you. What happened in the past… is in the past. I want to be with you and nobody else. You are my keeper. You are my future.’

He opened his mouth with the intention to tell her how happy those words had made him but she began to move before he had the chance to speak. Kristen grabbed one of the holo-emitters and then she lifted it over her head and threw it against the brig wall. It shattered into pieces upon impact. Electricity sizzled and sparks flew. Nodding to herself and smiling purposefully, Kristen then grabbed the next holo-emitter and the next one and the next one. They too were shattered and broken. 

Lore was bemused and also thrilled by this display of violence. Still, what she was doing did not mean they would be able to escape. ‘What is this?’ he asked her, ‘what are you attempting to do?’

‘I do not know,’ Kristen replied, ‘but I am enjoying it.’

He watched her as she turned and went over to the security access panel and tore it open. The chances of her knowing or being able to guess the numerical code was almost impossible, but Lore was totally on board with her mindset all the same. He tested the forcefield with a few fingers, wondering if the lack of holo-emitters would help, but it hissed as it usually did and so he pulled his hand back. 

Next, he went to stand where Kristen was and then he simply watched her fingers as they moved at lightning-speed over the buttons. She was trying every single code she could think of and was doing so at such a rate that the panel itself was struggling to keep up with her.

‘Slow down a tad,’ he advised, ‘you’re more sophisticated than the security grid. If you force it, you may break it and not in the way you wish to.’

She flashed him a smile and then complied. ‘Sorry.’

He laughed. ‘You have nothing to be sorry for. What the hell do you think we’re going to do if you can break me out of here?’

‘I have no idea, love. But it’s worth a try. I appreciate what Picard and the others were trying to do for me but it’s not what I truly want,’

‘What do you truly want?’

‘You need to ask?’

‘No… I suppose I don’t.’

Kristen had definitely been tampered with. She was not as childlike as she had been before. Some of her real personality was shining through her precious naivety and it was doing so with forcefulness and conviction that Lore was truly excited by. He had thought that any changes in her would be unsettling, but instead he was delighted by this new and hellbent version. She reminded him of himself, what with her headstrong attitude and fearless deportment.

_I thought you were perfect before this, but now… you’re more than perfect. You’re a force to be reckoned with, much like myself. I love you so much…_

He had never, ever had anyone fight for him like this. 

Ria might have declared her feelings for him to anyone who would listen, but she had betrayed him when she had been faced with Data back on Komos B. She had used him too, and no-one could convince Lore otherwise. She had seen him as a route to escape, not as someone worth of value, not as a real person at all. His strength and intelligence had blinded her. Yes, she might have fallen into an infatuation with him but if she had truly loved him, she never would have tried to force Data to take her and be with her. What they had was born of convenience, not truth or beauty. 

What Kristen was doing right now was more than he could ever have wished for. It was more than what he had done to her, more than his wiping of her memories and melding of her into his idea of the perfect partner. She was starting to wake up to some of the truths of her past and still she was fighting to be by his side. She had answered the internal alert, smashed the holo-emitters and now she was fierce in her attempts to be near him. It was dazzling and incredible indeed.

Her fingers continued to type, her attempts undeterred no matter how many times the computer told her she had put in the incorrect code. ‘This is annoying,’ she said, to herself, ‘how long can this possibly take? Bloody hell…’

‘Kristen,’ Lore said.

‘Yes, my love?’

‘How much time have you spent with Data today?’

‘At least a couple of hours, counting the time I was powered down. Before you question me, I remember that he and I were friends in the past and I believe it.’

His heart ached for a second. ‘What else?’

‘There is nothing else. He and I were friends. I know what he did to you and I believe what you said. I also believe that he intends me no harm and that we used to be close. A choice must be made and I choose you. I will always choose you. You are my keeper, Lore. I was concerned earlier that you might be mad with me because I was with Data but as soon as you summoned me and I started to crawl through the conduits, I knew that I was wrong. You could never be truly mad with me. I am changing all the time now and more and more is coming back to me, but still I know that my place is with you and that you will not reject me. It gives me strength.’

Steadied by that, he smiled. ‘Keep working on that panel,’

‘I intend to.’ She looked up from what she was doing, able to multi-task. ‘Can you tell that I am different?’ she asked.

‘Yes, I would say so. You’re still my dark angel, no matter what they do to you,’

‘Truly?’

‘You need to ask?’

She laughed then and it touched her crimson eyes. ‘No, I suppose I don’t…’

*

LaForge had only been in Engineering for about twenty minutes when he was alerted to the situation occurring in the decks above. He wondered at first why he had been called but then Data explained and it all made sense. Lieutenant N’Dya had not entered the brig, but he had listened in on what was happening. Kristen had escaped, found Lore again and had dismantled the holo-emitters. She was working as hard as she could to get Lore out of there and it was only a matter of time until she succeeded. With both of them loose on the ship, anything could happen.

‘I need you to modify a tricorder,’ Data said, ‘and I need you to do it quickly. If Kristen enables Lore’s escape then he will need to be switched off from a distance. I can fight with him and attempt to switch him off manually but it would be much faster to do it with a signal to his actuation frequency. You understand the technology, Geordi. Please, re-program a tricorder and then come to the brig immediately!’

LaForge grabbed a tricorder and raced over to a turbolift. ‘I’m on it,’ he said.

The technical side of what he needed to do was completed in no time but when he was on the right deck and faced with his superiors, he found himself feeling nervous. He handed the tricorder to Data and then watched as his friend checked it over. ‘This should work,’ Data said.

‘What about Kris?’ LaForge asked.

Realising his place within this sudden madness, Data handed the tricorder back to him. ‘I will need to restrain her and power her down. No-one else can do it,’

‘Exactly,’

‘Are you ready?’ Captain Picard asked.

‘Yeah. I’ll deal with Lore,’ LaForge supplied.

N’Dya came to his side and then looked to Data. ‘Sir, if you can try to hold her, I can attempt to power her down,’ he said.

‘Agreed,’ Data shot back.

‘Let’s go in there,’ Picard directed.

Kristen was stood by the security access panel and was working her fingers over the controls. The room was a mess of holo-emitter debris and the air was misty with smoke. Lore was still behind the forcefield but as soon as he realised he and his ‘pet’ were no longer alone, he looked up and his eyes filled with spite. 

‘Kristen,’ Picard said, ‘stop what you are doing immediately!’

She turned a little and looked over her shoulder. Her fingers did not stop moving and nor did she reply. In fact, she smiled and then she turned back to the panel again and worked even harder than before.

LaForge looked up to Data. ‘What shall we do?’

Data thought for a moment. ‘Deactivate Lore as we discussed. I will handle Kristen,’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Completely.’

LaForge glanced to Picard and Riker, very briefly, and then when they did not tell him to hold his position he moved into the centre of the brig and pointed the tricorder at Lore. All it took was a touch of pressure to one central button and then there was a blip of audible sound and Lore froze where he was standing. He swayed a little and then he sank down to his knees.

Kristen’s hand dropped from the panel. ‘What did you do?!’ she cried. 

Lore’s head dropped and then he fell backwards onto the floor. There was a loud thudding sound as he collapsed.

‘ _What did you do to him?!_ ’ Kristen screamed.

N’Dya appraised her for a moment and then he moved over to her quickly. She realised that he intended to take hold of her and so she raised a fist and struck him in the face. N’Dya managed to take that hit somehow and though his lower lip was torn and blood began to trickle down his chin, he grabbed hold of her forearms and attempted to hold her. 

Moving quickly, Data raced over there and whilst N’Dya struggled with Kristen, he put his hands to her head and managed reach the dial behind her ear. With one sharp turn of his wrist, she was powered down. Just as Lore had, she sank down to her knees. 

‘Data…’ she moaned, ‘what… are you doing to me?’

Data helped N’Dya to ease her down to the floor and then he knelt by her side. ‘I am attempting to assist you,’ he replied.

‘This is not… you are not… I am not…’ She moaned again and then her eyelids closed.

LaForge tucked the tricorder into his pocket and then moved to Data’s side. Kristen was unconscious now and her face was etched with pain. It was not an easy sight to behold. He helped N’Dya to his feet as Data lifted Kristen up and hoisted her weight up and over his shoulder. 

Riker moved over to the security panel and made short work of what Kristen had been trying to do. The purple light of the forcefield was deactivated and at that, he crossed the threshold and knelt down at Lore’s side. ‘He’s out for the count,’ he said, ‘shall I lift him?’

Captain Picard nodded. ‘Yes.’

Data held Kristen and Riker held Lore. They both awaited further instruction.

‘Bring them to the observation lounge. We will talk further when we get there.’

LaForge watched as his friends left the brig and as he followed them, he fell into step with Counselor Troi. They exchanged a worried look and then they both turned when they heard N’Dya inhale a pained sigh. 

‘I think I might need to visit sickbay,’ he murmured, with his free hand held to his mouth. It looked as though the bleeding was getting worse and that there was a chance his jaw had been dislocated.

‘Go, Ben,’ Troi said, ‘we’ll update you later,’

‘You sure?’

‘Yes.’

Ben turned and walked off in the opposite direction. LaForge watched him leave and then he turned back to Troi as they continued to walk. ‘Poor guy,’ he said, ‘that looked damned painful,’

‘I know.’ She frowned a little. ‘I hope nobody else gets hurt…’


	36. Modifications

Captain Picard was just as confused as his colleagues and his friends. Once Data had begun to unlock Kristen’s memories, he had expected for her to soften. She had softened, at first. But from the moment that Lore had summoned her, she had reverted back to her old drives and had applied new awareness into old submission. Picard wasn’t sure what it would take to break her bond with Lore but apparently broadening her cognitive and subconscious horizons was not even nearly enough. She was stronger now and hyper-aware. Her ingrained loyalties had not wavered at all. 

In the observation lounge, Data lay Kristen down very carefully on the end of the table and then he stood back and watched as Riker lay Lore down by her side. It was surreal, seeing them both like that. 

‘Suggestions,’ Picard said, as he took his seat.

Troi sat down next to him. ‘I have no idea,’ she confessed, ‘I thought that she might return the loyalty we showed her… I didn’t expect her to respond to Lore as she did…’

‘Why not?’ Riker sat down too. ‘When she was conscious, all she knew was that we’d been friends and colleagues of hers at some point. The link she has with Lore wasn’t tainted, was it?’

LaForge and Data sat down also. 

‘Apparently not,’ Picard agreed.

Data looked tired, if that was possible. He straightened where he sat when LaForge put a hand to his arm and then he turned and tried to concentrate. ‘We are still attempting to access the previous version of who she is and that much will require ongoing effort,’ he said, ‘all we can do currently is work with the technical part of what she has become and attempt to detach her from Lore,’

‘Are we talking psychology here or cybernetics?’

‘Cybernetics,’ he said.

‘Alright. Ideas?’

Data frowned in thought and then, when he had been allowed to think for a while, he looked to Picard again. ‘A kedion pulse may reboot her system. It may turn her into a tabula rasa or it might disconnect her from Lore completely,’

‘Simplify,’ Picard said.

‘A kedion pulse may wipe her mind completely or it may dissolve Lore’s ability to summon her. If it works, he will no longer be able to manipulate her into returning to him on a whim. When he uses his thumbnail trigger to call her to him, she will not be able to receive the signal.’

Picard liked the sound of that. It was certainly worth a try. Still, there were risks involved. ‘What if she does become a blank slate?’

‘We can back up her memory files before we start the process,’ LaForge suggested.

‘That is a good idea,’ Data agreed.

‘Something has just occurred to me,’ Troi said.

Picard looked to her. ‘What is it, Deanna?’

‘Earlier today, we managed to successfully transfer a modesty subroutine to Kristen. If that is possible, then what are the chances of transferring an ethical subroutine to Lore?’

That line of thought was so fantastically productive that nobody said anything for a little while. Picard wondered why that idea hadn’t come up already for if it worked, it would solve a great deal of problems in one fell swoop. If Lore was literally incapable of committing crimes or hurting others, then he would be a changed man whether he liked it or not. He would no longer be a liability. He would no longer be dangerous. 

His personality would not be altered, but if he tried to hurt or kill someone, he would not be able to. There was no doubt that he would remain sarcastic, belligerent and selfish but that would be the absolute worst of it.

‘That is a brilliant idea,’ Riker said, with a smile he couldn’t suppress.

‘It really is,’ LaForge concurred.

‘I do not like the idea of connecting myself to Lore, but I would do so in that particular situation,’ Data said. He glanced to his brother’s body at the end of the table and then looked to Picard. ‘If we take both of them to my lab now, I could sever the subliminal connection between he and Kristen and then I could transfer the ethical subroutine. Furthermore, I could also program him so that he would not be able to leave the ship. It would cancel out any chance of him trying to take Kristen and escape with her. All of this could be done within a few hours.’

Picard knocked on the table. ‘Progress,’ he said, ‘finally,’

‘We still do not know how to try him for his crimes, Sir,’ Data reminded.

‘I know that. Unfortunately, I’m not sure that it’s possible to do so. Once you have completed your work on him, the best idea may be to assign him to quarters for the time being and then observe his behaviour,’

‘I agree,’ Riker said, ‘if he is detained on the _Enterprise_ , then he can be watched.’

Data frowned. ‘How long do you believe he should remain on the ship?’ he asked.

‘I’m not sure, Number One. Can you think of somewhere he would be better suited?’

‘No, I cannot,’

‘Then he’ll stay with us for now. Let’s not run before we can walk. Right now, we need to focus on taking him to your lab so that we can make the necessary alterations,’

‘Yes Sir.’

Everyone stood up and some arrangements were made. Picard checked in with Worf via his comm badge, to ensure that ship operations were running smoothly and that all was well on the bridge, and then when he’d been informed that all was well, he turned to the others. 

Riker had picked Lore up and Data had picked Kristen up. Data looked uncomfortable but Picard knew that he’d surely feel much better once they were at the lab and the idea of progress was put into practise. ‘Shall we proceed, Mister Data?’

‘Aye Sir.’ 

The group left the observation lounge and got on their way. 

*

Kristen was settled into a chair at the lab. Once Lore was held upright on the central platform, Data connected himself to him. It was not a pleasant feeling, but he knew it was necessary. Due to the fact that his work could take some time, he suggested to the others that they leave him to it. Picard, Riker and Troi agreed to allow themselves a break in TenForward but LaForge didn’t want to go.

‘Would you mind if I stayed with you?’ he asked.

Data couldn’t see the point of him doing so at first. He wouldn’t be able to maintain a conversation whilst he was working and so it seemed stupid that LaForge should just stand there in silence whilst he did what he had to do. But then he remembered the simple fact that they were best friends and that support was being offered to him. 

‘I can keep an eye on Kris?’ LaForge added, moving to stand next to her.

At that, Data nodded to him and told him he would appreciate some company.

Neural pathways were aligned and Data tried to treat what would come next with clinical indifference. He would be interested in some of the technical factors but he wanted to keep his emotions held down. He kept his eyes away from Lore’s face as he accessed the huge amount of subroutines that Doctor Soong had installed in him so many years ago. 

There was a slight touch of temptation to check and see if Lore was missing any other behavioural programming. He lacked morals, but did he lack anything else? Or did he have anything that Data himself was missing? He decided not to check. He understood the metaphor and myth of Pandora’s Box and as such, he didn’t want to do anything risky. Life was complicated enough right now with adding to the troubles he and the others were trying so hard to figure out. He was also interested in the specifics of the programming differences between his personality and Lore’s, but he left that alone too. 

Instead of prying or investigating, Data set up the transfer of his ethical subroutine and then he also sent some additional coding. When Lore was awake again, he would not be able to leave the _Enterprise_ , no matter how hard he tried. He could desire it more than anything but if he attempted an escape he would feel deep discomfort. Not guilt, but instead a sense of helplessness that would render him fixed where he was. 

Data wondered how it would feel to Lore but then he realised he didn’t much care. Why should he concern himself with how all of this would affect Lore? The hatred between them was stronger than it had ever been.

_Concentrate. The sooner you are done with Lore, the sooner you can work on Kristen. She needs you._

‘How’s the transfer going?’ LaForge asked.

‘It will take a while longer,’

‘Okay. I’ll leave you to it. Just let me know if I can help.’

Data nodded to his friend and then zoned in on his work. Some forty minutes later and he was running internal tests to see if the programming was functional. It was. He wanted to go about some external testing and so as he disconnected himself from Lore, he wondered about that for a while. An idea came to him quite quickly.

‘Geordi,’ he said, ‘could you reserve some time with one of the larger holodecks for an hour or so from now?’

LaForge frowned. ‘Well… I know you probably need that right now, but don’t you remember what Captain Picard said? You’re kind of banned from the holodeck suites for the time being.’

Data shook his head. ‘You misunderstand me. The appointment is not for personal recreation,’

‘So what’s it for?’

‘I would like to take Lore there and create a program that will test his ethical subroutine.’

LaForge smiled then, on board with that idea immediately. ‘We could reactivate him with the modified tricorder. If we reverse the hit to his actuation frequency, we could switch him back on without having to be up-close to him. If the holodeck program is already running, then he’ll think he’s free to walk the ship,’

‘Exactly. We can pose him with obstacles and then watch to see what he does,’

‘I’ll book the appointment now and then I’ll contact the Captain and tell him what we’re going to do,’

‘Thank you, Geordi.’ 

Whilst those preparations were being taken care of and LaForge was distracted, Data removed Lore from the central platform and then he eased his body down into another chair that was nearby. 

That done, he picked Kristen up very carefully and brought her to where she needed to be. Now that Lore was dealt with, or at least so far, he felt that he could relax somewhat. He was still in a strange mood due to so many conflicting feelings, but working on Kristen was definitely easier than working on his brother. He connected himself to her using the usual interface cable and then he watched her face for a few minutes. 

He wasn’t mad with her for responding to her internal alert system but nor could he deny that it had hurt him when she’d strode out of her quarters and then re-entered the conduit system to go to his brother. It was far from Kristen’s fault that she couldn’t stop herself from returning to Lore but her attitude had matched the yanking of her invisible puppet strings and that smile she’d worn before she’d disappeared had made him feel very uncomfortable. 

Like the others, Data had believed that because she was remembering facets of her past already, that she would be less inclined to be the obedient slave she’d been since Lore had changed her. But instead of trying to fight her urges, instead of showing any sign that she wanted to go into her past and find out her true identity, she had gone running to him like a loyal dog called to heel by its Master.

 _That stops now,_ Data thought to himself, _as soon as I have broken the connection, Kristen will be liberated. She may continue to have feelings for Lore, but he will not find it so easy to manipulate her. Had he not summoned her to the brig earlier on, I truly believe that she would have continued to remember her old life and that she would have progressed. But he timed his summons perfectly and she was switched back into her submissiveness. From now onwards, he will find only a severed link when he pulls back his thumbnail and tries to activate the circuitry._

_It is said that if you love someone, you should set them free. That is precisely what I am going to do for Kristen… and then, when she is free, she can make her own choices. As she continues to remember, she can decide for herself what and who she wants._

‘Data?’ LaForge moved over to him. ‘The Captain and the others are going to holodeck one now and are going to start creating a test program,’

‘Good. I require some assistance with Kristen now,’ Data replied.

‘Okay, what can I do for you?’

‘I would like you to replicate a Borg interlink transceiver,’

‘To send the kedion pulse… sure, I can do that. Are you going to back up her memory units in case something goes wrong?’

Data nodded. ‘I am beginning that process now,’

‘Let’s get this done, my friend. Let’s do what we can to help Kris. God knows she needs it after today’s performance.’

Data looked to him. ‘I appreciate your help and I hope that at some stage, Kristen will appreciate it also. I am grateful for all you have done and continue to do.’

‘No thanks are needed.’ LaForge went over to the replicator and started to work the controls. Then he paused and their eyes connected again. ‘Is it wrong of me that I hope this hits Lore where it hurts? When he realises that we’ve collapsed the subliminal signal and that she’s free, he’s going to be pissed off. Is it wrong of me that I’m looking forward to that?’

‘I do not believe it is,’ Data replied, ‘a touch of schadenfreude is surely nothing in comparison to the pleasure he has taken in hurting Kristen and myself and so many others,’

‘Yeah, I guess you’re right. Okay, let’s work.’

The two friends looked away from one another. LaForge concentrated on the replicator and Data backed up the entirety of Kristen’s memory files. He did not open the files, especially not the ones that followed her surgery. He didn’t want to know just yet what was in there and not today of all days. He watched Kristen’s face again as he retrieved engrams from her neural nets. Her eyes flickered on occasion, but she was not as pained as she had been before. 

Data lifted a hand and then rested it gently on one of hers that was grasping the bar in front of her. 

_I love you, Kristen. It is time to set you free._

*

It was evening time when Data and LaForge reached the holodeck suites. Counselor Troi wouldn’t admit it to the others, but the day had felt extremely long to her and she was very tired. Since retrieving Kristen from the brig that morning, so much had occurred. 

Separating her and Lore, giving her some of her memories back, powering her back up and trying to work with her, being utterly frustrated when Lore summoned her, having to separate them again, having both of them worked on in Data’s lab and now this – a potentially dangerous trial program at the holodeck. It seemed mad that all of these things had happened during the course of only one day but they had and there was still much to do.

She was dreaming of a chocolate fudge sundae and an early night with her Imzadi when her friends arrived. Data was carrying Lore and LaForge was doing his best to carry Kristen. Riker straightened at once and went over to lend a hand. Troi snapped out of her reverie and looked to Captain Picard. He gave her a grave smile and then they too moved over to help.

‘Should Kristen not have been taken to her quarters?’ she asked.

‘No,’ Data replied, ‘as I have disabled the subliminal link, I thought it might be prudent to test it whilst we are testing Lore. When he is reactivated within the holodeck program, he will surely try to summon her almost immediately,’

‘And if it hasn’t worked, we’ll know. Kristen will try to get to him,’ LaForge added.

‘Yes.’ Data nodded.

Riker was appeased by that. He took Kristen and then he carried her a little further down the corridor. When she was placed down, he took a few moments to ensure she was in a comfortable position and then he crouched down at her side, clearly intending to stay with her. 

Troi watched that and then she looked to Data. ‘Can we witness what Lore will be doing inside the holodeck from out here?’

‘Certainly,’ was the reply, ‘but first we should take him in there. What sort of program have you created?’

‘When he is reactivated, he will believe that he is in the brig and that the security forcefield has been switched off,’ Picard said, ‘what happens from then onwards should be interesting. Let’s move him and set this up. Do you think he will take the time to check if he has had any new programs installed?’

‘I very much doubt it. From the moment he sees that the forcefield is down, he will be too distracted by thoughts of escape to consider it,’ Data replied. They moved to the holodeck doors and they opened. Stepping onto the black and yellow grid, Data put his brother down on the floor and then he stood upright again. ‘Geordi will reactivate him with the same modified tricorder we used to turn him off earlier today,’ he added.

Picard took that in. ‘Are you ready, Mister LaForge?’

LaForge grabbed the tricorder and lifted it up. ‘Ready and raring to go, Captain.’

Troi felt a flutter of nervousness inside her. Though she did not doubt for a single second that he and Data would have done a perfect job of both severing the subliminal link and installing the ethical subroutine, she knew she’d feel better when these tests were over. 

‘Counselor, I would like you to keep us informed at all times as to Lore’s emotional responses and to anything you might sense from Harper,’ Picard said.

They left the holodeck and the doors closed again. ‘Yes, I’d be happy to help,’ she replied.

‘Holodeck, lock doors,’ Data ordered.

‘Begin program Picard number four hundred and eight,’ the Captain added.

LaForge pointed the tricorder at the doors and then he sent the required signal to Lore’s actuation frequency. Outside of the room, nothing happened at all, but inside the room Troi knew that Data’s brother was regaining consciousness now. The first thing she felt from him was a wave of confusion and then that was joined by excitement when he no doubt realised that he was ‘free to leave the brig’. 

‘He’s awake,’ she said.

‘Computer, show us what’s happening in there on the panel screen,’ Picard said.

As Riker remained with Kristen, they crowded around it to watch.

*

Mind racing, Lore pulled himself to his feet. He wondered why he’d been laid on his back on the floor but then he accessed the memories he’d had before he’d fallen. 

Kristen had been working on the security access panel so that she could try to break him out. They had shared a conversation within which he had learned that she had been tampered with but that it had not done any damage at all, for she was headstrong now and though her innocence had depleted, it had been replaced by an even more potent hunger to be with him. Or was that because he’d summoned her and she was always fierce in her neediness when that had occurred? It didn’t matter, because she had been aggressive in her devotion and Lore knew that what they had remained strong. 

So, she had been working and he had been waiting and then… oh, yes. Data, LaForge, N’Dya, Picard, Riker and Troi had come in and…

_They deactivated me. They did the same to Kristen. I might not have seen it but I know the truth. What the hell happened? I can only speculate that she managed to turn off the field and that they were then distracted by getting her out of here. She must have broken the panel and that’s why they didn’t switch the field back on. They likely thought I wouldn’t wake up and that I’d be prone on my back until they returned to me._

_As much as I tell them I’m not their marionette to be toyed with, it seems they haven’t listened. For once, I’ve managed to get lucky. I can get out of here now. It’s time to go._

He crossed the threshold that was off-limits to him before and smiled to himself when nothing detrimental happened. It felt amazing being able to walk freely. He’d been held in that tiny room for well over a week now and he’d felt like he was caged. 

Had he been on the _Enterprise D_ he would have known exactly where to head to but this was a new ship and one he had limited experience with. Lore did what any guest – willing or unwilling – would do and he asked the computer to display a schematic of the entire vessel. Memorising it instantly, Lore nodded to himself and then he approached the doors. They opened.

The corridors were different to those on the old ship, but not entirely dissimilar. A plan formed in his mind as he strode onwards. He needed to get to his creator’s runabout, that which was likely still held in the shuttle bay, but first he needed to find Kristen. There was no way he was going to leave without her. He asked the computer to tell him where she was and was informed that she was in some personal quarters that had been designated to her and that she was on deck nine. 

Lore headed to a turbolift at the end of the corridor and entered it immediately. He ordered his desired designation and then he waited to be taken to the correct level.

When he exited, he waited for Starfleet security officers to grab hold of him but there was nobody there. That was highly unusual. Lore frowned and then he started to head towards where he expected Kristen to be. 

Outside of her rooms stood Worf and N’Dya. N’Dya wasn’t of much interest but Lore had enjoyed physical conflict with Worf during his first and only visit to the _Enterprise D_ and so he headed for him first, a grin on his face and fire in his eyes.

‘Hold your position!’ Worf snapped.

‘What’s the matter? Have you lost your warrior fierceness or are you just too afraid to fight me this time?’ Lore returned.

Worf growled. ‘Klingons never fear their opponents!’

‘Prove it!’

Lore beckoned Worf towards him with both hands and when the Second Officer of the ship advanced upon him, he aimed a heavy punch right at his face. There was a vague flash of pain but it was nothing much. Worf punched him again but it didn’t hurt at all this time. If anything, it felt like a light slap instead of a full-blown attack. Lore’s grin spread and at that he grabbed Worf’s shoulders and attempted to throw him down onto the floor with a hard shove.

That was when he was forced to stop right where he stood. His grin melted into a smile and then that turned into a wince. 

_Something is wrong…_

Worf stared at him. ‘Perhaps it is not I who is afraid?’ he dared to ask.

_Something is very wrong…_

Lore shook his head and then he tried once again to throw him down. His arms locked into position and though his fingers were digging into the idiot’s uniform shoulders, it was as though he couldn’t get any significant purchase. It was like trying to hold water or capture air.

N’Dya moved over then and when he forced his hands away, Lore realised that he couldn’t fight back. Either these two officers had gained impossible and supernatural physical strength or something had changed inside himself. Lore was confused and a little afraid also. He’d never met anyone he couldn’t overpower and it was unsettling that he was suddenly weak and incapable of fighting, let alone defending himself.

When N’Dya pushed him back, he felt his expression turn to one of fear. ‘This makes no sense!’ he cried, ‘what have you done to me?!’

‘Nothing has been done to you,’ N’Dya snarled, ‘how did you manage to get out of the brig?!’ He slapped his comm badge. ‘Security to deck nine immediately! This is an emergency!’

Knowing that he would be overpowered if those officers arrived quickly, Lore turned and started to move down the corridor. Before he knew what he was doing, he was breaking into a run. He didn’t care what had just been said to him, he was convinced that he’d been tampered with. How else would he have been rendered incapable of fighting? The mere thought of being vulnerable was more than he could deal with. 

As soon as he was back in the turbolift, he shrank down into a crouch and put his head in his hands.

_Think. THINK. What can I do? What do I need? I need my girl. Kristen…_

‘Take me to the shuttle bay!’ he shouted.

The turbolift began to move.

Lore pulled back his thumbnail and looked down at the circuits beneath it. He didn’t much care if his brother and the bastards who supported him had messed with his mind, but if they had messed with Kristen enough to sever their bond he wasn’t sure how he’d cope.

_I’m going to get to our craft no matter what… please come to me, Kristen…_

He used his right thumb to push down and then he waited.

_Break free, my dark angel, and come to me… I love you…_

* 

‘He’s triggered the switch,’ Troi said. She ran over to Riker and Kristen immediately and knelt down on the floor in front of them, waiting for something to happen. 

Kristen didn’t move. There was no emotion, even unconscious emotion, on her face. 

Data moved over and he too got down in front of her. He checked her pulse with careful fingers. ‘She is completely unconscious and not encountering any psychological stress,’ he informed.

‘It does make me wonder if she’d be summoned by Lore if she was awake,’ Troi replied.

Picard looked to them. ‘Reactivate her,’ he said.

‘Now?’ Riker asked, unsure.

‘Yes. If we’re going to test this theory properly then we need to see how she responds when both unconscious and conscious,’ the Captain replied.

Data reached behind Kristen’s ear and turned the dial.

*

At the shuttle bay, Lore found nobody there. That in itself was strange because he knew that on a flagship Starfleet vessel there should always be at least a handful of officers around that deck of the ship, even if only Ensigns or junior Lieutenants doing routine maintenance work. He did a full tour of the room at a light jog and then he returned to the doors, frowning and trying to figure out what the hell was happening. Then he thought of Kristen again.

‘Computer, locate Kristen Harper,’ he said.

‘Kristen Harper is in her quarters,’ was the reply.

_Still? Why isn’t she coming to me?_

He peeled his thumbnail back and pressed on the circuitry once more. Waiting, he lifted his gaze and looked to see if his runabout was there. It was, remarkably enough. It was stored with seven or eight Starfleet shuttlecrafts. All he needed was for Kristen to arrive and then Lore was convinced that he’d be able to get them off the ship.

‘Come on, come _on,_ ’ he said to himself, still pressing down on that circuitry. 

When five minutes had passed he once again asked the computer to locate Kristen. He was told that she was still in her quarters and at that, Lore knew that something terrible had occurred. His brother had managed to sever the link between them. Either that, or she was injured or harmed in such a way that she had no ability or freedom to move. He looked longingly at the runabout for what felt like an age and though he willed himself to detach himself from sentimentality and escape, he just couldn’t do it.

_Not without her…_

Lore asked the computer to tell him where the security teams where and once he’d worked out a route, he left the shuttle bay and darted down the corridor and back into the turbolift. Soon, he was on his way back to deck nine. Worf and N’Dya were gone and there was nobody there keeping guard. Security staff had definitely been called there, he had heard the order, and the computer had said that there were two officers waiting, but the corridor was empty.

_There’s something unreal about all of this and it’s not just that I can’t defend myself and that Kristen isn’t answering the summon I sent. Nor is it the fact that this place seems empty when I know this ship holds over a thousand people. It’s… it’s…_

At her door, he looked down each end of the corridor to make sure that he was definitely on his own and then he requested access to enter. The doors opened.

‘Kristen?’ he said, striding into the lounge area. 

Nothing. Lore went through to the bedroom and she wasn’t there either. 

‘Kristen?!’ he called. She wasn’t in the bathroom and there was nowhere else to check.

_Have I died? Has my soul moved on to some level of the afterlife? Is this… purgatory?_

*

Data watched Kristen’s eyes come into focus. She seemed a little woozier than on other occasions she had been reactivated and her eyelids were heavy, as though she didn’t truly want to wake up. He found that he was still bracing himself, despite this apparent calm. He hoped that she wouldn’t panic or lash out when she was fully awake, but there was always a chance. He had to be ready for anything, had to be ready to catch her and hold her back should she try to break into the holodeck.

‘Data?’ Kristen said, trying to keep her head up so she could look at him.

‘Yes?’ he returned.

‘When dark angels cry… do they cry black tears?’

Not knowing how to understand such an eerie question, let alone provide a response, he turned to look at Troi and then at Captain Picard. The Captain looked both serious and nonplussed and did not volunteer a verbal response. Troi frowned a little and then decided to ignore what had been asked. ‘How are you feeling, Kristen?’ she asked.

‘Disorientated… why am I on the floor? This is strange…’ She was slurring a little now, as she struggled to wake up. ‘How did I get here?’

Data couldn’t help but notice that she wasn’t fighting to get to Lore. She hadn’t mentioned him. Yet.

‘Would you prefer to return to your rooms?’ Captain Picard asked her.

‘Yes… I feel very tired…’

Picard tapped Data on the shoulder and so he stood and they moved away, out of earshot, whilst Troi remained with her. ‘Why would Kristen be so tired?’ the Captain asked.

‘I am unsure. It may have something to do with the influx of memories returning to her. It might be putting some superficial stress on the organic parts of her brain,’ Data replied.

Riker joined them and then LaForge did also. ‘Lore believes that he’s in her quarters and that either she’s disappeared or that something has happened to him,’ Geordi said, ‘he’s going to town on that thumbnail circuitry he has, not that it’s helping him much,’

‘Then we know the bond has been broken because Kristen isn’t panicking,’ Riker assumed.

‘The cybernetic bond, yes,’ Picard replied, ‘but the emotional bond will remain to some extent, or at least that’s what I believe.’

Data nodded. ‘I agree… but as her memories continue to return, that may change,’

‘Yeah,’ LaForge said, ‘but we’re doing good with this, right?’

_Lore cannot hurt anyone and nor can he escape. Kristen, for now, is not begging to be with him. This is not a breakthrough but it is certainly a healthy development._

‘Yes,’ Data said, with a very slight smile.

‘I’ll take her back to her rooms,’ Riker said.

‘May I take her instead?’ Data asked.

Riker and Picard considered that, exchanged a look and then they turned and nodded to him. ‘Update me as to her condition should there be any significant change,’ Picard said.

‘Yes Sir.’

Data left them and went back to Kristen and Troi. Kristen looked up at him. ‘Will you help me up?’ she asked.

He offered her his hands and when she took them and he aided her in getting to her feet, she swayed a little and then he was taking hold of her in a gentle fashion. Kristen did not fall into his arms but she did need his support to stay on her feet. Being able to help her was the sweetest feeling and Data took pleasure in that, even if only in a wholesome way. 

She looked up at him and gave him a tired, confused smile.

A long time ago, he had promised her that he’d love her even if she chose someone else. He had been referring to Soshi back then, but even now when he knew she might still choose Lore over himself, he knew he would still love her and support her, no matter what. Data realised just how unbreakable their bond was and especially so now that she was no longer angry at his presence or threatened by his proximity. A smile from her was poetry. Her allowing him to help her and even requesting that much was angelsong.

_What I feel for her will always be unconditional. She is my forever-love._

They started to walk down the corridor together, he keeping an arm around her waist and she leaning into him as she held onto his hand. ‘You didn’t answer my question,’ she whispered.

‘The one about black tears?’ he asked.

‘Yes…’

‘When you cry, you do not cry black tears,’ he told her, ‘because you are Kristen Harper. You are a real girl,’

‘I’m not a real girl. I wish I was…’

Data gave her a sad smile. ‘I am certain that very soon you will be.’

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Some reviews would be appreciated :)


	37. Duality

Lore could never have believed that seeing Jean-Luc Picard and Will Riker could be a relief, but given that he had been questioning whether he was a dead or not just a few moments ago, their presence was a blessing by comparison. Curses were blessings in this confusing otherworld. Doors opened as they emerged and it was then that Lore realised he was on the _Enterprise_ but not in the way he had previously believed. He was on the holodeck and they had tricked him. 

He said nothing as they moved towards him and when they came close without any security staff for support, he knew that he’d been right to suspect that something was seriously wrong. The three of them stood there, just looking at one another.

‘Explain this,’ Lore said, breaking the silence.

‘Run a self-diagnostic,’ Riker replied, with an ice-blue stare.

Rolling his eyes, Lore did so. It didn’t take long for him to realise that Kristen was not the only one who had been tampered with. ‘You’ve installed an ethical subroutine into my neural net,’ he sneered, hardly able to believe that undeniable and gross truth.

‘You’re damned right we have,’ Riker said, ‘and that’s why you were unable to inflict violence on those holograms of Worf or Ben,’

‘I see.’ 

Lore put his hands to his hips and then he turned, taking enough space to be able to process his anger with his back to them. He stared around the living space he was in, the rooms he had been led to believe he’d find Kristen within. Right now, he didn’t want to look at the two bastards who had allowed Data his perfect life and who had come between himself and the one woman who had ever made him feel whole. He stared out of the hologrammatic window at a hologrammatic starfield and exhaled a shaky breath. 

‘Yet more of my rights have been stripped away,’ he said, more to himself than to the others. 

‘Only the right to hurt, maim or kill,’ Picard said.

‘Has Data ever been deprived of that right?’

‘Data has never murdered.’

Lore turned around again. ‘He has definitely killed, Picard,’ he snapped, ‘I happen to know for a fact that he has. I am responsible for the pleasure he felt when he killed that rogue Borg and-’

‘That was self-defence!’ Riker yelled.

Smiling an acid smile, Lore raised his eyebrows. ‘So Data is allowed to kill in self-defence but I’m not,’ he replied, in a calm tone, ‘interesting. Hypothetically, if some insidious alien race overtook the ship at this very moment and I was put in an arena of conflict, what would happen to me? If some fierce and savage alien attempted to kill me, what would I do? I would die. I would not be able to fight, even for survival.’

Picard narrowed his eyes. ‘You underestimate us. We would not allow you to come to harm, Lore.’

The acid smile deepened. ‘I think you’re starting to like me, Picard. Your resolve appears to be softening…’

‘No, not even remotely. But that doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t protect you.’

Lore went over to the sofa and sat down. Then he leaned back and put his feet up on the table. He was thoroughly unsettled, scared and confused but he dealt with those emotions in the customary way – bestowing only cockiness and nonchalance in both posture and expression. ‘So where do we go from here?’ he asked, ‘I know you’ve broken the bond between Kristen and I. I’m as weak as a kitten without the ability to defend myself, even against human officers of your staff. I can’t leave the ship, can I? Along with my ethical subroutine, I can tell that you’ve also made sure that I can’t pilot a shuttlecraft and I can’t beam off this ship either. What would happen if you had to set up an emergency self-destruct for some reason? I’d be blown to bits.’

Picard moved to sit opposite him and then Riker sat down too, nearby. ‘We would find a way to take you with us,’ Picard said.

‘The Master becomes the pet,’ Lore mused. 

‘Hardly,’ Riker said, ‘we’re not keeping you here as a pet. We’re keeping you here for your own safety and for safety of others,’

‘Hmm. When can I see Kristen?’

‘She is remembering a great deal currently. Seeing you will hold back her recovery. Also, you have no right to see her,’ Picard said.

‘Yes,’ Lore replied, seething quietly, ‘as per usual, I have no rights at all.’

*

The walk back to her rooms was dreamlike for Kristen. She felt as though she’d been asleep for a week but she also knew exactly what had happened. She had been trying to free her keeper from the brig but then she had watched him fall to his knees and then pass out into unconsciousness – a sleep without comfort and a painful sight to witness. He’d had no dignity as he had hit the floor and then she too had been forced into deactivation. She’d been powered down by the same person who was now holding her up and walking her into her quarters.

_I should be mad… I should be enraged… but whilst I was wading through shadows and slumped on the ground in that corridor, more and more memories were unlocked inside my mind. I know that Data doesn’t want to hurt me. I know that he’s my friend. I haven’t known Lore for as long as I thought previously._

_I’m living two different lives and I’m in two different realities. In one reality, Lore is my keeper and my lover and we have always been on the jungle planet together, safe in our private world. In another reality, I had a life on this ship and Data and Deanna and the others were close to me and I trusted them completely. These two timelines run together seamlessly but I know that that I have to turn my will into a knife and use that knife to cut the difference between fantasy and truth._

_Who am I? Who was I? Who will I now be?_

Data guided her in sitting down on the sofa and then he went to stand by the replicator. ‘Would you like some refreshment?’ he asked.

‘Yes, please. Some coffee would be great,’ she replied.

He fetched them both a cup and then he sat down with her, but not too close. Kristen noted the space between them and then she accepted the coffee he was holding out to her. It was too hot to drink straight away and so she set it down on the table in front of them. 

_I know he’s a non-threatening presence but still I’m nervous. As these memories continue to unlock I feel like I’m in a state of limbo…_

Data watched her in the silence and then he put his cup down too. ‘What is on your mind?’ he asked.

‘I’m still trying to make sense of it all,’ she replied, ‘I feel like I’m two different people,’

‘Right now, that is precisely what you are,’ he said.

_Lore…_

‘Where is he?’ she asked.

Data didn’t show any obvious emotion but she was still able to detect a faint flicker of discomfort in his eyes. ‘Lore has been modified today and as of right now, he is being tested to ensure that he no longer poses a threat to others,’ he replied.

‘Wait, what… modified? What do you mean by that?’

‘You are tired and confused right now. I am not convinced that giving you too much information would be beneficial for your mental stability,’ Data said.

‘Cut it out and tell me the truth, already. What did you do to him? I remember him falling to the floor… was he hurt? Have you hurt him?’

‘No, he has not been injured. Lore is safe,’

‘So how did you modify him?’

Data looked a little more uncomfortable than before. ‘I connected myself to him with an interface cable and then I transferred a duplicate of my ethical subroutine to him. Before this, Lore was able to injure or kill others with free will and no trace of guilt. As of today, he cannot do either of those things and nor can he leave the ship.’

Kristen couldn’t understand what Data was telling her. She tilted her head as she tried to take in the information and then, when she couldn’t, she stood up and wandered across the room. Clarity couldn’t be found there anymore than it could be found by his side on the sofa and so she turned and retraced her steps. 

Data looked up at her, his golden eyes watchful. ‘Are you alright?’

‘No, I’m not. You all think he’s a horrible person,’ she said, ‘but he isn’t. Why do you treat me with such kindness and him with cruelty?’

‘We have not been cruel to Lore,’ Data said.

She mirrored her keeper’s body language by putting her hands on her hips and rolling her eyes. ‘You have kept him in the brig whilst I’ve been given personal quarters. I’ve had time with other people and he’s been alone for the most part! I’ve been allowed freedom, I’ve been spoken to with patience and acceptance… he has had none of that! You’re treating him like he’s a wild animal. It’s not right!’

‘The difference is that you have no criminal history and Lore does,’ Data said.

Kristen frowned. ‘And what about the things _you’ve_ done to Lore?’ she asked.

Confused, he tilted his head. 

‘He told me what you did. I know that he was treated unfairly. Well, it was more than unfair! You and your Father and so many others have never respected him. He has never been treated as a person; he’s been treated like faulty equipment. You can have no idea what that feels like, Data. You and he have not lived the same lives. You’ve never really listened to him. He is not evil! He’s suffering! He has suffered constantly since his activation!’ she snarled.

Data’s lips parted and he inhaled a breath, one that was clearly designed to keep him steady. ‘Please, sit down,’ he advised, ‘you have had a difficult day and you are very tired. I am willing to continue this conversation, but I would feel better if you would sit and try to calm down.’

Kristen almost argued but then she thought better of it, seeing his point, and sat where she had been before. ‘I just don’t get why you do so much to him without asking his permission first,’ she said.

‘I understand… but _you_ must understand that he has done far more to others without their consent than you could ever comprehend. As of right now, your memories are complicated and are still heavily overshadowed by what Lore has manipulated you into believing,’ Data said, ‘what you know is mostly true, despite my personal feelings, but there is more, Kristen. What he has done to you is just one example of how malicious he can be.’

She despised these words but was curious too. Old, long-secured trust in Data was rising up and mixing with the loyalty she felt to her keeper. It was unsettling. Kristen fought her tiredness as her mind tried to stay as open as possible. ‘But _why_ can’t you ask his permission before you do things to him? I’m not arguing that he hasn’t done bad things to others, but if you do things to him without his consent are you not as bad as him?’

Data took another steadying breath. ‘To use a human analogy… it is not as black and white as that, Kristen.’

She bent to pick up her coffee and then she settled back with it, cradling the cup in her hands. ‘When it comes to Lore, I don’t think there is any black or white. He is the eternal grey area. But you should have _asked_ him if he wanted the ethical subroutine. I have to stand by that because I know it to be true,’ she replied.

‘Had we asked Lore, he would have declined. He requires that subroutine more than I can effectively convey,’ Data said.

Kristen sighed and shook her head. ‘This is pointless.’

There was some silence then. Data also picked up his coffee. Kristen kept her eyes on him as he chose not to drink any, only looking down into the dark liquid instead. His face was shadowed by the dim lux in the room and though she was always and would always be struck by how identical he was to Lore, during those moments she managed to note the subtle differences between them that were not based on physicality. 

Emotions, personality, _soul_ … all of these things could define one twin from another. 

Data, despite his gentleness and calm and the fact that he was capable of human emotion, was much more in touch with his identity as an android than Lore was. He was not cool or clinical, in fact he was warm and conscientious, but in comparison to his brother he exuded serenity and composure as opposed to passionate, raw feeling. 

But then, she was still getting to know Data. Yes, Kristen had known him in the past but their time together now was akin to starting over from the top. Memories of their friendship were buried and only recently uncovered. Fragments were all that remained. All she had ever known from Lore was desire that caused him internal conflict at times and inflamed him with lust at others. She had received encouragement and approval and need that were not removed from the urges only known by humanity or other beings of a completely organic nature and psychology. 

She knew that Lore was an android but at times it was all too easy to suspend disbelief, look beyond his moongold skin and citrine eyes, even his inner mechanics, and see him as just any other man who had wants, desires and dreams. He was sarcastic, ambitious, sexual and filled with a thirst for revenge. He moved like a human man would move; easy and self-assured, relaxed on occasion and tense when necessary. His body language was unique – dark humour fusing with lightsome and dry jocularity that one needed to know to fully understand. 

There was pain underneath the jokes and tenderness beneath the violence.

He didn’t lack composure, but he was quick with his temper and skilled at expressing himself. Subtlety was lost on him and that much made the divide between he and Data all the more clear. The way he shrugged or sighed or rolled his shoulders or eyes made him seem much more than an artificial being. Lore was inclined to carry himself as an individual who was out-of-touch with what made him an android. It was as though he’d lived a thousand years and only ten at the same time. He wasn’t innocent at all but he was sheltered by what he’d taken from the cynicism and cruelty he’d been faced with. 

He was a mirror to his past and in the reflection, vulnerability could be seen.

He had accepted what he was back when the colonists on Omicron Theta had refused him and then he had progressed, adopting the same indifferent body language he had received whenever he had tried to fit in. It seemed as though every time he’d been treated with rejection, he had absorbed the looks and harsh words he’d been given and that once he’d internalised that negativity, he had externalised it and turned it into armour. The bullied had become the bully. 

Kristen’s mind was whirling with reflections. Data was still looking into his coffee cup.

Data was so different to Lore. He wasn’t tortured, wasn’t vain, wasn’t vengeful. He was trained in controlling himself, his emotions, his reactions, even his concerns. He was a stranger and yet he was more than that because she knew that she trusted him, that he’d been a valued friend for a long time and that he’d never let her down, hurt her or confused her. He was a special person – unique not because of the fact he was an artificial lifeform but because he was intrinsically kind, loyal and unusually selfless.

_Who are you? Who am I? Who are we?_

Data looked up from his coffee and their eyes connected. As Kristen reflected on her keeper and her current companion she processed so much on who they both were, her mind opened and more memories began to unlock.

 _We drank coffee together. We talked, not just for hours or days but for months. We connected. I remember helping you. We shared so much about our lives, ourselves, our feelings. The reason why I had an office on this ship was because I was a Counselor, like Deanna is. I helped Data and Ben and lots of other people too. That’s how Data and I met. He was my patient and I was his therapist._

‘How long was I your Counselor?’ she asked.

Data’s eyes widened a little, surprised at the question. ‘Many months,’ he replied.

‘I remember,’ she said, her heart racing, ‘but there is more… I recall helping you but at that same exact time, I know that I was also on Terlina III,’

‘The memories of our counselling sessions are genuine and the memories of being on the jungle planet during that time period are not.’

Pained, Kristen sighed. ‘I don’t know that I can handle this… how much more is buried in my mind?’

‘A great deal,’ Data replied, ‘I know that this is very difficult for you, but recalling your past is vital. When you remember everything that Lore wanted you to forget, you will be able to heal. You will also gain perspective on your situation and that will aid you in a full recovery,’

‘You said I might soon be a real girl, but that can’t happen. My implants cannot be removed and nor can my limbs be replaced with flesh and blood. I’ll never be real… I’ll never be who I used to be… and nor will I ever be able to go back to being what Lore wants me to be. I’m going to be stuck in this state forever.’

Data put his cup down. ‘I wish I knew how to make this easier for you, Kristen,’

‘No-one can make this easier for me,’ she replied, feeling the prickle of tears in her eyes.

‘I cannot take your grief away or your pain, but… I am here for you,’ he said, frowning in his concern and conviction, ‘should you need me for anything at all, I can be with you. If you need to talk or just some company as you work through your confusion, please do not hesitate to contact me.’ He put his hand to his comm badge and then he removed it and handed it to her. 

She took it, not sure what this action suggested. ‘This is yours…’ she said.

‘I know. I can get another one. Wear this and tap it when you need me. Or if you need Deanna or anyone else. Tap it and then all you have to do is ask one of us to come to you and we will,’ he explained.

Kristen looked down at the badge. The silver Starfleet insignia rested on an oval of gold. As she gazed at it, another memory unlocked.

_I wore one of these for years and used it every single day..._

‘I remember how to use it. How do I put it on?’

Data studied her face for a few seconds and then he moved closer to her. ‘Allow me?’

Kristen nodded. ‘Sure.’

He took the comm badge back from her and then he fixed it to her top. It didn’t take long for him to do so but the proximity between them had time slow down for Kristen. She felt as though she wanted to ask him a hundred questions about their friendship and why it was that she trusted him so implicitly but she knew she was too tired to delve any further into her curiosity for one day. She wanted to talk with him, wanted to see Lore, wanted to figure out the tangle she was caught in, but the day had been long and Kristen needed space. 

Sensing that, Data stood once her comm badge was attached and she stood with him. ‘Thank you for everything,’ she said.

‘You are welcome. I will go now and let you rest.’

He moved over to the door and Kristen stayed where she was. ‘I’ll see you soon, okay?’

‘Okay.’ He nodded. ‘Farewell, Kristen,’

‘Bye.’

Data left and Kristen lifted a hand to wipe her eyes. She wasn’t crying exactly, but tears had lingered since she’d realised just how complicated her life was now going to be. She felt torn in two as she wandered through to her bedroom area and then sat down on the end of her bed. 

Lore hated Data but she could not hate him. She didn’t agree with how Lore was being treated, how he had always been treated despite his emotional and psychological issues, but nor could she hate someone just because he did. She loved Lore deeply but she also felt a bond to Data. That bond might have only made itself known since her nested memory files had been opened but the connection was there and she knew that it was important. Trust was not easily earned but she trusted Data very much. She trusted that he wanted the best for her.

Lore said that Data was a bad person but she knew that was false. Data had negative reflections on Lore but Kristen knew there was more to him than his anger and the violence he’d committed. 

She remembered again the story Lore had told her about the painter, Randell Harper, and how he’d injured the man badly. She hadn’t cared about the moral implications of that at the time because she’d been too dazed by her keeper, too besotted with him to truly understand, and nor had she understood it when they’d talked of it in the brig… but now she thought carefully about that story and reflected on what it said about Lore.

_He can be cruel, but I know why. I know him. He wasn’t created as a violent being, he was made to be that way._

_Randell Harper. My last name is Harper too… what a weird coincidence…_

Deciding that she couldn’t possibly work anymore of this out whilst she was so tired, she turned and climbed onto the bed and then lay on her side. Closing her eyes, Kristen buried her face into a pillow and then she sighed for a long time. 

Soon, she was asleep. As she rested, more memories were liberated in the recesses of her mind.

*

The following morning there was another meeting in the observation lounge. Captain Picard wanted everyone there to speak up on their personal reflections on all that was occurring and as each crew member, temporary or not, vented their opinions, he listened carefully. 

Now that it had been proven that Lore couldn’t hurt or kill anyone, it was agreed that he no longer required constant security supervision. It felt strange to agree on that but as the worst he could do was be verbally cruel or sarcastic, the need to have his quarters guarded seemed pointless. Yesterday, he had mentioned that he had no intention to leave his rooms anyway. He would be a passenger on the _Enterprise_ now, as well as a prisoner, and certain rights would be extended to him. Should he change his mind and decide to walk the ship, he would be allowed to. If he wanted to use the holodeck or visit TenForward or anywhere else, he would be given that freedom too.

LaForge was pensive. ‘I know he can’t do anything to us or to the ship, but it still feels weird giving him these rights…’

‘We are indeed being flexible,’ Picard conceded, ‘and as we have discussed before – Lore does and should have rights. Prisoners kept in conventional jails are allowed to leave their cells. This entire ship is Lore’s jail because, as we know, he cannot leave it. If we were to condemn him to solitude, then there was no point in giving him the ethical subroutine or moving him from the brig. This is the most humane way we can treat him whilst also keeping him in a fixed environment. We have to adapt to the fact that he cannot hurt anyone and furthermore, we must adapt to the fact that he is entitled to a certain degree of personal liberty,’

‘I felt better when he was in the brig,’ Crusher said, ‘but you are right about this, Captain. Keeping him confined to quarters would be the same as keeping him confined to the brig. Now he has the subroutine and we _know_ he can do no wrong, he must be allowed to get used to his new life without rules imposed upon him that are purely based on paranoia,’

‘So we are going to keep him on the ship long-term?’ Worf asked.

Picard nodded. ‘Yes. As much as I know that it won’t be easy for any of us, this is the best place for him,’

‘What about Kristen?’ Troi asked.

‘It won’t be easy for her either,’ Picard said, ‘but this is the best place for her too. All of us, Lore and Kristen included, are going to have to get used to this. If a better or more productive alternative make itself known to us, then we might be able to make a few changes here and there but for now, we will proceed onwards as things are.’

Data received a few looks from the others. He returned those concerned gazes and then looked to the Captain. ‘Will we force them to stay away from one another, Sir?’ he asked.

‘That is a very tricky question, Number One, but one worth examining. What do you think would be the fair option?’

‘I do not think they should be allowed to communicate. Kristen is in a fragile mindset and Lore will exacerbate that. He is fractious of temper and possessive over her in many ways,’ Data replied.

‘Forgive me for this Data, but if she needs to go to him and is told she cannot, she will suffer,’ Troi said.

‘Criminals kept in prisons are not allowed to contact their victims,’ Data said.

‘He’s right,’ LaForge added.

‘We have seen the damage and destruction that can occur when we enforce them to remain apart from one another and I’m not just talking about this ship. Now that Lore has morals and Kristen is realising her true identity, I do not believe that forbidding them to communicate would be productive at all. As Kristen remembers more, she will have questions. She deserves the right to ask them and if Lore is the one she wants to talk to, her voice should not be stifled. With any luck, she will eventually decide for herself that she doesn’t want to be around him. But for now, I anticipate only negative repercussions from limiting Lore’s freedom or forcing Kristen to stay away from him,’ Picard said.

Data’s expression was disappointed and darkly so. He stared down at the table top for a while.

‘The bright side is that she’s seeking your company now too, Data,’ Troi pointed out, ‘she’s not scared of you or angry with you,’

‘She was frustrated when we spoke last night,’ he replied, looking up briefly, ‘but… yes, I have to agree that she is giving me a chance now. She is recalling some of our past together,’

‘And eventually, when we connect you to her again and unlock more memory units, she will recall that you had a relationship,’ Crusher said, ‘it will confuse her at first but then it might heal her. She has known Lore for only months. She has known you for far, far longer.’

Data sighed. ‘Yes…’

‘So are we all agreed that from this day forward, both Lore and Kristen will be given the right to freedom on the ship?’ Picard asked.

His staff exchanged looks and then there was a murmur of begrudging agreement. 

‘Be clear,’ he said, ‘I do not want a hung jury on this. I want a unanimous verdict. If anyone opposes this decision, I want definite reasons on why Lore should be held in his quarters or why Kristen should be deprived the right to choose for herself.’

Riker glanced around the table. Troi did the same. 

‘With the adjustments made to both parties, there are no reasons to contain them,’ Worf said.

‘Do we all agree?’ Picard asked.

Everyone around the table, Data included, nodded or offered a verbal affirmative.

‘Very good. Meeting adjourned.’

*

The next few days were hard for Kristen. Though she was informed that she was free to go where she wished to, she found that she wanted to be alone. She was missing Lore terribly but due to the emotional pain she was in, for the time being she couldn’t face being with him. Because his pain was her pain, she knew she couldn’t bear any more than what she was already carrying. 

She imagined he must be lonely and depressed but if she was to go to him, she knew she’d be incapable of cheering him up. The sense she’d once had that she was a pet who must perform tricks and songs and acrobatics to aid him when he was suffering was not gone but it was definitely on hold. As she recalled more of her past as a Counselor on the ship, as a member of Starfleet and a friend and colleague of those who were trying to help her, she lost aspects of her old submission. Kristen still loved Lore, still needed him and wanted to be his partner, but as her internal worlds changed and expanded, the gaps in her memory were filled with doubt and fear.

Visits to her personal rooms were attempted but Kristen didn’t want to talk. Deanna had come to her door five times but had been turned away with assurances that she didn’t want any company. Beverly Crusher came twice, wanting to perform medical checks, but Kristen told her she’d come to sickbay for such things when she was good and ready. 

Data came once and that was the sole occasion when Kristen wavered in her feelings. 

‘May I come in?’ he had asked.

‘No, not today,’ Kristen had replied, leaning in the doorway. 

‘I thought that you might have contacted Deanna or myself of your own accord… I see you are still wearing the comm badge. Is it malfunctioning?’

‘No, it’s working. I just want to be alone.’

The worry on his face was obvious, as was the fact he wanted to spend time with her. Kristen couldn’t bear that look in his eyes. His sadness was not selfish; it was because he was trying to be a good friend and she was not allowing him to help her. For a split second, she reconsidered letting him in but then she decided to stick to what she truly needed – time to herself. 

‘I’ll get in touch when I feel I can, alright?’ she had put to him, ‘my head is a mess right now and the more I talk about it, the worse it gets. When I’m alone, I can process my thoughts and feelings without having to explain them,’

‘I understand,’ Data had said.

‘Bye then,’

‘Goodbye, Kristen.’

He had sloped off down the corridor and when he was out of sight, Kristen had turned and gone back into her bedroom and laid face-down on the bed.

 _You’re depressed, Kris,_ she thought to herself, as seconds drifted into minutes and hours, _because the memories that keep coming back to you are making more sense than you could have ever believed. You know that Lore lied to you about the past we shared._

_One solitary fact makes that obvious – I am not an android, I am a cyborg. In order to create a cyborg, one must fuse the cybernetic to the organic. For him to create me, he needed to start with a completely organic being. A human being. A real girl. The people on this ship are right – I was taken and I was altered. I cannot believe I never realised that before._

_I never took the time to truly consider the facts of my existence. I don’t remember how I got to the jungle planet, but I know that I lived here on this ship, that I was taken and then Lore turned me from what I was into what I am now. I can’t resent that because I understand him and I love him. I could never hate him. But… he definitely lied to me about us sharing a life together. I haven’t been a cyborg for all that long at all. The truth is that I was a real girl for most of my life, I was changed and now… now, I am neither a pet nor a Starfleet officer. I am just a sad and a fragile thing…_

Another day and night passed. Kristen ate sparingly and when she could muster the energy, she went into the lounge area of her quarters and spoke to the ship’s computer. She reviewed the information that Captain Picard and the others had first tried to show her in the observation lounge that day. 

‘You belong here on the _Enterprise,_ ’ Picard had said to her, softly so, ‘and we are very glad to have you back. You’re not a prisoner here, Kristen, you are part of a team. My team. That is precisely why we wish you no harm or ill will. Our intention is to help you remember who you used to be. The person you are now is a figment, a fantasy. It is not your fantasy, but Lore’s.’

She had argued, panicked, fled. But now Kristen accepted her past and grieved over the false memories Lore had implanted in her brain. It felt as though she was emptying her heart of beautiful dreams, that she was sacrificing facets of gorgeous fantasies in exchange for truths that were banal and painful.

The last time she had been with Lore, she had sworn to him that none of this mattered, that he was her future and that she would always fight to be with him. What she could never have anticipated was how the continued unravelling of her memories would affect her. She’d never known that going through these processes would leave her exhausted and severely depressed. The love she felt for him remained but she did not feel like a pet anymore. That sense was not on hold – it was erased. 

She remembered the times she had said ‘I do what Lore tells me to do and when he tells me to do it’ and felt like she didn’t know herself at all. Her devotion to him remained but it was different. 

Kristen didn’t want to turn cartwheels or impress him with her humour or playfulness. She wanted to be with him but also couldn’t face his pain or her own agony. Being with him would be torture and though she knew she would definitely need to be reunited with him eventually, she had no idea how she would cope, how she would behave. What were they to each other now? Everything was changing and as each hour passed, she became a more confused and complicated woman.

There were times when all she felt capable of was lying on the sofa and staring at the ceiling as her neural nets were flooded with emotion and scrambled nostalgia. Other times, she wept and wept as she held her knees to her chest and sang ‘You Are My Sunshine’ over and over again. Then she would run a cold bath and sit shivering in the water, trying to use the frigid temperature to shock herself into a truer and fuller reality. Nothing worked. 

All Kristen had was the grinding of psychological gears in her mind and a shard of jagged glass in her heart. 

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : I'd love some reviews, cats and kittens :) If you get the time, please do let me know what you think! xx


	38. A Dark Angel

A week spent alone in his quarters and Lore felt he might be getting cabin fever. He had zero desire to be anywhere else on the ship and yet the need to escape was constant. 

The only person he wanted to see or be with was Kristen, but she did not come to him or contact him at all. He had no means to call her, not that it stopped him peeling back his thumbnail and pressing down on dead circuitry every few hours. He had been informed that he could go wherever he wished to on the ship, her quarters included, but somehow he knew that if Kristen wasn’t visiting him of his own accord, there would be a good reason for that. She was not powered down, restrained or deactivated and still she wasn’t drawn to him. 

That fact was terrifying. Lore had never been so afraid.

The subliminal connection between them was severed to such an extent that he couldn’t sense her emotions on any level. It was as though she was in another universe, instead of on another deck of the _Enterprise_. Their bond was broken, when it came to cybernetics, but what of love? Lore could never lose his love for Kristen now, but did she still love him? The last time they’d been together, she’d sworn to him that nothing would come between them. She’d been furious in her need to both be with him and let him know that she was still his.

‘ _My place is with you. What happened in the past… is in the past. I want to be with you and nobody else. You are my keeper. You are my future...’_

So much had happened since then. He had no idea what else she’d remembered or what she’d been told. As far as Lore knew, Data could have connected himself to Kristen again and he could have shown her everything that had been done to her – the kidnapping, the starvation, the torture, the surgery, all of it. All of the terror and the pain and the cruelty.

‘ _I am changing all the time now and more and more is coming back to me, but still I know that my place is with you and that you will not reject me. It gives me strength…’_

Her words echoed in his mind constantly, as did the acute knowledge that no matter how much he insisted to Data that he was owed Kristen for all he’d been denied, he did not truly deserve her at all. There might have been a connection between them before the surgery, but Lore knew she’d been half-crazy and under severe psychological and emotional stress. _He’d_ fallen in love with _her_ and then he had taken those feelings and worked them into all of the programming he’d introduced to her positronic grafts. 

Elsewhere on the ship, Kristen was undoubtedly finding her way into a definitive reality. Lore realised that he too was facing reality – and it was not pleasant at all. The dream he’d had of the two of them being together had been crushed from the moment they’d been captured on the runabout and he knew he’d been fooling himself every single time he’d allowed himself to believe that they might make it. What else was new? Nothing worthwhile ever stayed around in his life. There was never any solid reason to hope or long for better things. 

Lore grew more embittered as he constantly reviewed all of the times he’d been hurt, rejected, ostracised, punished and treated with indifference. He wished he had the ability to cancel out the feelings he had for Kristen, so that when she inevitably contacted him to let him know she that had remembered the facts and wanted to be with Data once more, he would be able to keep the grief at bay and the heartbreak at a minimum. But it was impossible. 

Lore wondered just who was the keeper and who was the pet in this terrible situation. Kristen’s submission hadn’t weakened her; it had only made him more of a fool for her. Even before she’d been turned into what she was now, Lore had been a slave to her, a needy pursuer of her approval and acceptance. He’d been savage and mercilessly cruel to her, but he knew no other way to behave. Love had made him vulnerable, as had his hunger for Kristen to love him in return. 

When she was brought into a new existence as a cyborg, her dependence on him had changed him so rapidly it had been hard to keep up. Lore had no longer been able to hurt her, or at least not with definite intention. For the first time ever, he had been capable of gentleness and tenderness and it had felt so right. Even when things had been good between himself and Ria, he’d been cold and mean-spirited. Within his role as a keeper over a pet that needed him and him alone, he had found a purpose that had been supremely fulfilling. 

Had they evaded capture and managed to secret themselves away somewhere forever, Lore knew that he would never have hurt her. He would have continued to treat Kristen with careful love and total dedication. Every day that they spent together would have been filled with laughter and delightful silliness and passion that gifted them both with deep and delicious pleasure. 

He would have done anything for her. He would still do anything for her.

But he did not deserve her, he was losing her, and all the while he was sat in the dim lux of his quarters, she was changing and fading out into nothingness. 

The real Kristen Harper, the one he’d come to desire before she was altered, never truly wanted him. When they had kissed for the first time, she had been dreaming and thinking of his brother. She had apologised for that kiss, not celebrated it. The only times she had exalted in their mutual affection, she had not been Kristen Harper at all. She had been his fantasy – his programmed creation, designed entirely to need him and serve him and put him first, no matter what.

_She asked me again and again if I loved her… and I am such a messed-up, selfish bastard that I could never tell her the truth. I’m such a coward that I could never look her in the eyes and tell her that I love her so much that she’s the real keeper here and I’m the one who would do anything to make her smile and laugh and feel only joy and happiness._

_I was always the one who was submissive to her. If that was not true, then I would have stuck to the original plan. I would have destroyed her and then sent her back to Data in pieces. I didn’t do that. I fell for her, I hurt her and then when she was reborn, I made sure that she revolved her entire existence around my needs and desires._

_Is this how broken I am? I am so ruined by my experiences with humans, with my family, with everyone I have ever encountered in my life, that I will brutalise and brainwash the one person I have ever truly loved with all of my heart?_

_Perhaps Often-Wrong was right to leave me dismantled on dusty shelves whilst he dedicated himself to Data instead. Perhaps Data was right to follow in his footsteps and treat me as the dangerous and selfish creature I am. If I’d been left in storage and used for spare parts, I never would have been able to hurt Kristen and put her into the black pitch of despair and confusion she’s now faced with._

_I stand by the fact that I was made to be this way instead of born as an evil bastard but even I cannot justify the things I’ve done…_

A signal at his door made Lore look up. He felt a flutter of nervousness in his stomach. Introspection was replaced immediately with anxious curiosity. He knew he didn’t deserve Kristen but if she wanted to talk to him, even for a little while, he’d take the opportunity to tell her how much he regretted what he’d done. He’d beg for her forgiveness. Just to see her face would be a blessing…

Unfortunately, it was Counselor Troi who wanted to speak with him. ‘Hello Lore,’ she said.

He frowned at her. ‘Unless you have some news for me about Kristen, then I don’t want to speak to you or anyone else,’ he snapped.

‘I think we should talk,’ she replied, not even flinching at his nastiness.

Lore weighed up the options and then he stood to one side and gestured for her to come in. The Counselor did so and then the doors closed and he wondered what to do with her. As he didn’t want her to stay and had no inclination to be hospitable, he didn’t ask her to sit down. He didn’t sit down either, instead opting to fix her with a cool look and raised eyebrows.

‘How are you?’ she asked.

‘I’m not in the mood for a psychological review or to put up any pretence whatsoever that we’re even capable of a polite exchange. Just tell me what you came here to tell me and then leave,’ he returned.

Troi’s eyes were saddened. ‘I came to see how you’re doing,’ she replied, ‘it’s a difficult time for everyone, yourself included. I know you must be feeling very conflicted.’

Lore almost laughed. He didn’t make a sound but he did give her an insincere smile. 

‘Alright,’ she said, ‘if you won’t talk about yourself then let’s discuss Kristen,’

‘That I can do,’ he replied.

She moved away, helped herself to a seat and he made an acerbic remark about that as he moved to sit opposite her. Once more, Troi did not flinch at his attitude. She rested her hands in her lap and watched him as he watched her, her face etched with seriousness. 

‘Get on with it,’ he said.

‘Kristen isn’t accepting visits from anyone,’ she told him, ‘and that includes myself. I happen to know that she hasn’t been in touch with you either,’ 

‘No, she hasn’t,’

‘I’m worried about her,’ 

‘You’re not the only one,’

‘Of course. After all she’s been through, she may well be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How does that make you feel?’

‘How do you think it makes me feel?! I’m scared to death right now! Having you and Picard and the others put distance between us was bad enough but to know she’s not coming to me because she doesn’t want to is terrifying!’ he snarled. Then he realised he’d been tricked into talking about his feelings after all and that it hadn’t taken all that much. He shook his head at himself. ‘This information is inconsequential to you and to the situation in general. What matters is Kristen.’

Troi nodded. ‘I agree.’

Lore waited for her to say more but she didn’t. ‘So what do you want from me? I’d like to be able to help her but I’m under-equipped. I expect she hates me now anyway, now that all of your tampering has made her realise I’m not her true creator,’

‘What I’d like from you is to know how you’ll react if she _does_ come to you. I believe she will at some point, because I have yet to hear her say anything negative about you at all, even after she began to recover her memories. She still needs you, even though I personally find that to be very unhealthy and wrong,’ Troi replied.

‘I don’t care what you think and how I will react when she comes to you is none of your business,’ Lore said.

‘It is my business. She’s my friend and my role on this ship right now is devoted to her care. I need to know, from you, that if she seeks your company, you will take care of her. Do you know how to take care of someone, Lore?’

That was an interesting question. He answered immediately. ‘I didn’t know how to until I re-made Kristen and found that she required a specific sort of attention.’

Troi nodded. ‘I’ve been able to sense for a long time that you love her. Did you expect for that to happen? Did you intend to romance her as a part of your plan? Or did it take you offguard when you realised you had feelings for her?’

As much as he was still in an intensely bad mood, having someone to talk to was turning out to be a bit of a relief after days and days of silent solitude. Lore hated that it was Troi he was faced with, but he figured it was better to be with her than with Picard, Riker or worse, Data. He sighed and then he relaxed a little more into the conversation. He hated himself for doing so, but it was as though he couldn’t help it. 

‘I didn’t intend to care for her at all,’ he replied, ‘she got under my skin. Even when I was abusive to her, she tried to be helpful and understanding. She’s a good person,’

‘Yes, she is,’

‘She made it easy to fall for her. Too easy, unfortunately for both of us,’

‘I get the feeling she was the first person to see past the walls you put up.’

Lore rolled his eyes. ‘That’s a bit of a cliché…’

‘Maybe so, but it’s also true. Before you changed her, she was a very dedicated and gifted Counselor. That may also be partially why she got under your skin. For someone to be a good therapist, they need to have a great capacity for patience. They also need to know how to listen, observe and reserve judgement. I think a therapist was just what you needed and what you still need, Lore. You’d be surprised by how much therapy can help.’

He shrugged. ‘Even Kristen said that I was beyond help in regards to some of my issues. I’m not just clinically depressed or in need of venting about my life. My problems can never be treated by psychotherapy,’

‘What do you think would help you?’

‘Everything I don’t deserve. Kristen, in short. She’s all I need and all I want. If I had her, how she was when I programmed her, I think I’d be happy. When we were alone on Terlina III, I was the happiest I’ve ever been.’

Troi’s dark eyes moved over his features. ‘Those days are over and though accepting that will be hard for you, you must. What you must also do is look to the future. You are going to be staying on the _Enterprise_ and as such you’re going to need to think about how you can integrate into ship life. It’s unlikely you’ll make friends, but in order to make your life easier, it will serve you well to think about how you can better yourself. You already know that you can’t hurt anyone or escape. So what choices do you have?’

‘I can stay here, in my quarters, and hope that at some point I’ll get to see Kristen,’ Lore replied, rattled by her way of speaking. He couldn’t imagine anything more awkward than having to get used to life on this damned ship. Drifting in space again would be highly preferable. ‘I have zero intention of ingratiating myself with others by being polite and helpful. I’m still me, Troi. I might not be able to kill all of you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.’

She shook her head at him. ‘You are going to have to make some radical changes, Lore. If you don’t, you’re going to spend your entire life in isolation. Haven’t you had enough of that? Haven’t you spent enough time alone?’

‘I’d rather be alone here than around all of you,’ he snapped.

‘Well, Captain Picard, myself and the others had another meeting this morning and it was decided that whilst Captain Riker returns to the _Titan_ to assist some colonists in the Terran system, I will be remaining here. I’m going to stay not only to try and help Kristen but to try and help you also. I admit that rehabilitating you seems like an impossible task and so that won’t be my intention. What I would like to do is to try and talk you through some of the issues you’ve mentioned. During some of your emotional outbursts, you’ve admitted a lot of your pains and losses. I want to help you come to terms with some of them.’

Lore sat forward on his seat and stared at her. ‘No thanks.’

‘You don’t have a choice. I’m your therapist now and we’ll be meeting every day to talk about you, your life, and your feelings,’

‘No, we won’t. I would rather be left to-’

‘Lore,’ she said, her tone turning icy, ‘you do not have a choice. I have postponed my wedding to do this and the least you could do is compromise with me. I have been given holy hell by my Mother, something you cannot imagine, and I’m under a great deal of pressure, both personal and professional. I am not going to try and turn you into someone you are not, but we are going to meet together every day and we are going to talk as you grow used to your new life. You _have_ to adapt to this. It’s the only way.’

Lore didn’t care about her personal or professional life and nor did he care about the help she was offering. ‘I never get a choice in anything,’ he said, anger tightening his voice, ‘have you any idea how it feels to be controlled?! You’re sitting there and stating to me that my life will be this way and that way and that I have to shut up and take it! I may as well tweak my own circuitry and force myself into cascade failure. Better that than live here, without Kristen, without anyone, without anything that moves me,’

‘What you just said amounts to threatening suicide, Lore. I know you’re not throwing that term around through drama. You are suffering, you have been for many years, and believe it or not I have thought about what you’ve been through and I do genuinely want to make a difference.’ Troi stood up then and put her hands on her hips. She might be small and slight, but she was quite a presence when she was frustrated to the point of irritation. ‘So you will accept the help offered to you and you will try to make some changes. I don’t care if you won’t do it for yourself but you will do it for Kristen.’

She moved over to the door. Lore stood up and looked at her, both angry and twisted inside by everything that had been said. ‘I could protest this very easily! I could sit here in silence every time you come here and then you’d have nothing to work with! I have _hated_ every bit of this conversation and you are _not_ welcome here!’

‘You’re forgetting that I’m telepathic, Lore. The moment you realised that it was a relief to talk to someone after a week alone, I heard those thoughts. You can’t fool me,’ she returned.

Lore felt tricked, but really he’d just been careless. He should have known that she was reading him right from when she’d come inside. 

‘I will not attempt to change you into someone you are not,’ she repeated, a touch more diplomatic than before, ‘all I want is for us to spend an hour or so each day in conversation. That’s all.’

He sighed and then he sank back down into his chair. ‘Fine…’

‘Fine?’

‘You heard me.’

The doors opened then. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ And then she was gone.

It took some time for Lore to truly let go of his anger. When he did, he wasn’t entirely calm and nor was he grateful or thoughtful about the fact he now had a therapist. 

He did consider what Troi had said about making changes and doing so for Kristen. If she remembered her past and hated him now, making adjustments to his mercurial moods and hostile attitude might be the one chance he’d have at keeping her in his life. If he remained antagonistic and short-tempered, she’d be repelled. She was suffering right now and though he was sure he’d know how to comfort her if she came to him, that didn’t mean he’d be able to convince her to stay with him for good.

_Troi is an interfering bitch… but if she’ll help me be what you need, Kristen, I’ll try. I’ll try to face some of my problems. I’d do anything for you. Even this._

*

Troi paused in the corridor for a while. She needed to close her eyes and take a deep breath. That first meeting with Lore had not been more than she could handle, but she still disliked his presence enough to feel stressed. 

Before she’d come to his rooms, she’d taken some time alone to think about what she knew of him, what she’d observed about his life journey and everything else she’d witnessed since he’d been on the ship. None of it had helped her to like him, but it had been enough to steel her and have her know for sure that she wanted to help him. Being a helpful person by nature wasn’t easy, but it was who she was. 

If she could make a difference in Lore’s life, he could go on and make differences in the lives of others. Everyone deserved a second chance, even someone like him. Everyone had the right to try to change. Troi wanted to ensure that by the time the _Titan_ returned to pick her up, Kristen was coping, Lore wasn’t a helpless-yet-ominous mess and that Data too was able to deal with life.

‘And for my next trick, I’ll turn water into wine,’ she said to herself. Then she opened her eyes again and decided to head to her next destination – Data’s quarters.

He wasn’t the contentious presence that Lore was and he welcomed her in politely. ‘Good afternoon, Deanna. Have you visited with Lore?’ he asked.

She gave him a weary smile. ‘Yes, I’ve just come from his rooms,’

‘Did he agree to receive therapy?’

‘In a sense. I will be going to him every day from now on.’

They went into his lounge area and when she sat down, he went to fetch her some hot chocolate. She smiled at the fact she hadn’t even had to ask him for what she needed. He knew her all too well. When he handed her the cup and sat down next to her, he looked to her with concern. ‘I hope that he did not threaten you. Was he imposing?’

‘He tried to be but now I know he can’t attack me, I found it easy to stand my ground. Have you tried to contact Kristen today?’

‘Yes.’ His concerned expression deepened then. He frowned and his eyes were touched by anguish. ‘I went to her quarters at 11:00 hours. She answered the door but would not let me in. She did not look well and it was obvious that she is not taking care of herself. I believe she may have lost the weight she gained since returning to the ship, as she looked very thin. Her body language was fatigued and her eyes were sore and swollen. I informed the Captain as to those developments and then I returned here to contact Robert Harper. When we had spoken, I began to try and figure out which direction I should next approach with her.’

Troi sipped her hot chocolate and sat back in her seat. ‘Any ideas?’

‘Other than persistence, I am unsure. She should not be alone. I will not force entry to her quarters but I am going to try to work out a way to persuade her to into allowing me to keep her company,’

‘Perhaps we should try together. When she first boarded the ship as my protégé, we were the first two people to connect with her. We know her very well, albeit in different ways. I’ll take a few more minutes here with you and then we’ll go to her and see if we can get her to let us in,’ she replied.

Data nodded. ‘I would like to try again. She insists that she needs space but I know she is suffering.’

Troi took a little longer than a few minutes, needing that after her confrontation with Lore, but when she had finished her drink and had been strengthened by the sweetness of her favourite vice, she got up and the two of them got on their way. ‘If we can keep her talking for as long as possible, she might soften and invite us in. Let’s try to be patient but also persuasive. She’s been alone and miserable for days and we need to know what else she’s remembered.’

Data glanced to her as they moved down the corridor. ‘Agreed. I am intensely concerned for her,’

‘I can only imagine,’

‘Do you think we will succeed?’

‘I hope so, Data. For your sake as well as hers. You seem strong today. Are you feeling well?’

‘I am unable to think of anything else but Kristen… but I am coping. I have to. She could reach out for me at any time and I must be strong for her. She is my beloved.’

She gave him a supportive smile. ‘Let’s see what we can do.’

*

When Kristen heard the signal at her door, she turned her head in the direction of the sound but did not move her body. She was laid on the sofa and had been there since the previous night, save for when she’d seen Data earlier than day and had told him to leave. 

The darksome spell she was under was worsening and though Kristen was aware of that, she had no motivation to do anything about it. She’d stopped eating, stopped sleeping. Though the specific memory unit that held the starkest, most violent truths of what had happened to her was still nested and locked down, everything else that had been revealed was torturing her. After coming to terms with the fact that she’d been a real girl before Lore had altered her and that the majority of her memories about their life together were false, she had begun to wonder about other things. 

One of those things was Lore’s hatred of Data. She believed what Lore had told her about their Father’s favouritism, about him being mistreated and neglected and about Data ejecting him into space, stealing his legs and burying him in the ground. The latter parts of all that information were filed on the computer and so Kristen couldn’t doubt any of it, even if she wished to. She _knew_ that Lore had received little in life beyond neglect and abuse. 

Anyone who’d been through what he’d been through would be bitter and mentally unwell. Nothing would change her mind about that.

But when she accepted that she’d been kidnapped, she began to question why she in particular had been taken. Some of her colleagues had been taken too, but she’d been singled out. She’d survived. Why? Lore hated Data and wanted to hurt him. So was she part of that plan in ways she’d previously not known or been able to guess at? Was she such a dear friend to Data that Lore had wanted to come between them? Was that why Lore had urged her not to talk to him and to stay away from him? It was maddening. 

The door signalled again and Kristen sighed, still not moving.

_Leave me to my confusion and grief…_

A few minutes passed and Kristen wiped tears from her eyes, wishing they’d stop. She couldn’t seem to stop crying. Though she wasn’t making a sound and hadn’t sobbed, tears were constantly rolling down her cheeks and nothing would cease them. She realised there hadn’t been another signal and she felt relief then, hoping that whoever was on the other side of the door had finally given up and gone away, but then that annoying sound was repeated yet again and she realised she’d have to get up and answer it.

She heaved herself off the sofa and went to the door. It was Data, again, and Counselor Troi.

‘Please leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now,’ she said.

‘I wish you wouldn’t push us away like this,’ Deanna replied.

‘Yes, well… you couldn’t possibly understand what I’m going through, so…’

‘We don’t have to understand it to care about you.’

‘I appreciate how kind you’re being, I really do, but what I need is time to myself. I’ve got a lot to work out. A few weeks ago I was someone completely different to who I am now and a couple of months before that, I was someone different too. I’ve been altered and then altered again. I’m not in a good place.’

Data tilted his head. ‘We are concerned that you are not taking care of yourself. You look unwell, Kristen. Can we at least escort you to sickbay so that you can be given some nutrional supplements and-’

‘No,’ she said, ‘I can replicate anything I need,’

‘You can’t replicate company,’ Troi pointed out, ‘so why not let us in for a while so we can talk?’

Kristen was getting impatient. ‘Thank you, but no. I really do want to be by myself.’

Data glanced to Troi and she looked up at him in return.

‘I’ll use my comm badge if and when I want to talk, alright?’ Kristen said.

‘You’ve taken a week already and it’s clearly doing you more harm than good,’ Troi replied.

‘I’m telling you what I need and you’re not listening!’ Kristen snapped, more impatient than before, ‘you’re supposed to be an Empath! Can’t you sense that all of this nagging is driving me mad?’

‘We are not attempting to upset you, Kristen,’ Data put in, ‘we are trying to take care of you,’

‘I can take care of myself!’ 

Kristen stepped back, slammed her hand onto the panel and then locked the doors. She knew that her friends had come to her with good intentions but they didn’t know when to quit. They signalled at the door a couple of times but when she ignored them, they eventually left her alone. Kristen asked the computer to check that much and when it was confirmed that they’d left the corridor and gone to another deck of the ship, she went back to the sofa and lay down again.

It was enough. She felt stifled and like her head was fit to burst. Wiping more tears away, she stood up and walked around her rooms, looking for an exit that didn’t exist. She couldn’t leave her quarters because she’d be found and followed in no time. Also, Data and Troi would come back before long and then she’d either have to listen to the door signal going on and on or she’d have to face them yet again and repeat yet again that she needed time alone. 

Something caught her eye when she paused by the partition that led through to her sleeping area. There was a conduit hatch on the wall. A stricken smile parted her lips and then she was crouching down and checking to see if it was locked. It wasn’t. She had no intention to go to Lore this time, but she knew that if she headed through the Jefferies tubes, she be able to secret herself away and that if she sensed or heard anyone coming, she’d be hard to pursue or catch. 

Kristen opened the hatch and then she crawled into the opening. 

_It’ll take time for them to realise I’ve disappeared. Then it’ll take time for them to reach me. Then there will be another mad chase to try and capture me, but throughout all of that I can be by myself. This dark angel has had enough of flying around in circles. She’s ready to spread her wings and fly away._

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : I'm not sure how many of you are still reading, but I thought I'd update again this week anyway. Going forward, would those of you who are sticking with the book like to see two updates a week instead of one? Or would you like me to stick with just the Monday updates? Let me know in a comment and we'll take it from there.


	39. A Real Girl

It was at the start of nightwatch that Captain Picard was informed that Kristen wasn’t in her quarters. N’Dya informed him that as he stepped out of his ready room and onto the bridge. Apparently she’d exited her rooms several hours ago and because she’d refused visitors so insistently, she’d been given space and had not been checked on. No-one had expected that she’d pull something like this again. It simply hadn’t been anticipated.

Picard asked how her disappearance had been discovered and N’Dya explained. After meeting with some of Kristen’s ex-patients, wanting to help out with ship responsibilities in general whilst she was a temporary part of the crew, Troi had asked the computer to tell her whether Kristen had used the replicator in her quarters to eat or drink. When she’d been told she hadn’t, she had then asked whereabouts she was specifically. Was she in her bedroom sleeping or was she in the bathroom cleaning up or somewhere else? 

The computer had reported that she was in a Jefferies tube and was nowhere near her quarters. She was near Engineering and had been stationary for a while. Her life signs were strong, but that was as much as the computer could say.

Troi and Data were in Engineering at that moment and were waiting for him and Doctor Crusher to meet them there so they could form a rescue plan. Picard asked Worf to cover the bridge, a task his Second Officer was becoming all too used to during these recent events, and then he and N’Dya entered the turbolift and headed to their destination.

‘I’ll go after her,’ N’Dya offered, ‘I’d like to help. She helped me a lot when she was my Counselor and I’d like to repay the favour if you’ll give me the opportunity.’

Picard glanced to him. ‘Unfortunately, I believe this will be a task that will require more than just one of us. You will be included in that team, Lieutenant,’

‘Aye Sir. Do you think you can talk her out of there? Do you think any of us can?’

‘I certainly hope so. Lore summoned her out of there last time. I will not be asking for his help now because too much has changed,’

‘That’s true. I understand, Captain.’

They arrived at Engineering and headed towards the others. Crusher had a medi-kit with her and was talking to Troi. LaForge was removing the hatch from a large entry conduit and Data was watching him with a pained look on his face. As soon as he realised that the cavalry had arrived, he turned and started to insist that he should be the one to head in first. Captain Picard had no idea what mental state Kristen was in but as she’d already told Data twice that day to leave her alone, he knew it wasn’t a good idea. It wasn’t easy denying Data his right to try and help, but it was the right thing to do.

‘Please, Sir,’ Data said, ‘I can try to talk to her… if she tries to escape, I can match her speed and her physical ability… I can also restrain her…’

‘No, Number One,’ Picard insisted, ‘she needs to be approached by those who are slightly more neutral to her than you are. I understand that you want to be as helpful as possible, but sometimes holding back and giving someone space can be much more beneficial than crowding them with sympathy. Also, I would like you to remain here for your own mental stability. Troi, I want you to stay with him.’

Counselor Troi nodded and moved to Data’s side. Data didn’t say anything else and though he was trying to be professional and controlled, it was clear that he was going mad inside with worry. He’d been doing that for a very long time. Even with small glimpses of progress here and there, he could never seem to catch a break within this chaos. No-one could.

‘Has she maintained her fixed position?’ Picard asked LaForge.

‘Yes. I’ll show you.’ 

LaForge moved over to a large schematic of the ship that was always on display in Engineering. Picard followed him and when LaForge pointed out where Kristen was, he realised he didn’t have too far to go. If she ran off as she had before, this would turn into a game of cat-and-mouse, but he hoped he’d be able to reach her psychologically before she raced to another deck of the ship.

Picard directed, ‘Ben, please head in there now and wait at the eastern end of the conduit. I don’t want you to block it necessarily, but I do want you to hold your position there until I say otherwise. Beverly, please enter after I do and stay behind me. I want you to give me some space to try and reason with her. I would like Kristen to believe that only I have come after her. Should she be injured or in a state I cannot deal with, I will call you and then you can treat her. Do not approach us unless I say so.’

N’Dya nodded and then he was the first to enter the Jefferies tube. Picard looked to Data, Troi and LaForge briefly and then he too turned and entered the system. He went in the opposite direction as N’Dya and when he’d moved forwards on hands and knees for quite some distance, he stopped and looked over his shoulder. Doctor Crusher was waiting on his command and so he lifted a hand and beckoned her in. She followed.

After climbing up a ladder and then pausing at the top of it, Picard halted again and listened. He could hear Kristen crying already. She wasn’t sobbing very loudly, but he could hear the soft echo of her laboured breathing and the hitching sounds she made. Overhearing her grief, especially when she thought she was alone enough to truly release her pain, was not at all pleasant. But as much as he could understand why she had brought herself here in the first place – somewhere where her door signal wouldn’t be triggered every now and then, somewhere she likely thought would not be disturbed – he couldn’t leave her here. It wasn’t safe and it wasn’t right.

He wondered what he should say to her. He was good with after-dinner speeches, better with anecdotes, but times of high emotion were difficult. Still, as he had noted and said to others, he knew how she was feeling on one level at least. He knew what it was like to be altered and to lose control. To be changed. To be violated. 

Picard turned himself off the ladder and onto the floor of the conduit. Though he didn’t make a sound, she seemed to sense the subtle vibration of his movements for the crying stopped abruptly and then he could see her red eyes glowing in the distance. ‘Who is it?’ she said.

‘It’s Captain Picard,’ he replied.

‘I want to be alone,’ she returned, ‘please… all I want is space… and there’s nowhere I can find it… I’ll come out of here when I can, but right now-’

‘This is my ship, Kristen. I am coming to you, so please stay right where you are.’

She sniffled. ‘I could run away… I could make you chase me again…’

He moved forwards, slowly, watching her eyes. ‘Is that what you’re going to do?’

‘No… I haven’t got the energy.’ She started to sob again and the sound was heartbreaking. ‘Are you going to drag me out of here? I need to compose myself if you’re going to force me to leave,’

‘How about we just sit and talk for a while?’ he suggested, getting closer still.

There was no reply, only more tears. 

As she wasn’t protesting, Picard crawled forwards until the distance between them was bridged and then he moved to sit opposite her. These conduits were somewhat darker than those on his previous command, but they were slightly more spacious so there was enough room for them to sit close but with enough room for it to not be awkward. Kristen was cross-legged and wearing one of the black trouser-and-top sets he’d seen her in before; black to suit the mood she was in. Her eyes were swollen and the blue lights on her positronic grafts were blinking madly. Her cheeks were awash with tears.

‘There’s no point in talking,’ she said, ‘I’m trying all the time to understand the situation I’m in and I can’t. I’m too many people, all in the same body. If I can’t make sense of this, then how can I talk about it?’

‘You could try,’ he said.

Kristen rubbed her hands over her face. ‘Nobody knows what it feels like…’

‘Can you be more specific?’

‘I was Kristen Harper… I worked here, with you, with the others… and then Lore took me away and he made me into what I am now. Nobody knows what it feels like…’

‘I know what it feels like.’

She laughed a bitter laugh. ‘Yes, yes, I know about that stuff with the Borg. I know they took you and changed you into Locutus. I’ve remembered that, along with so much more. It’s not the same.’

Picard raised his eyebrows. ‘I think that it’s exactly the same. I was kidnapped, altered and then programmed to say and do things I would never ordinarily do. Then, when I was returned to my rightful place on the _Enterprise D_ , I was connected to Data via an interface cable and I was brought back to reality. After all of that, I had to face the emotional and psychological impact of being violated and used. You and I have walked a very similar path.’

Considering that, she put a hand into her hair and rubbed at the side of her head. Tendrils of dark brown and white were ruffled as she did that. Then she dropped her hand again and her shoulders slumped. ‘Maybe you’re right,’ she conceded, ‘but you didn’t fall in love with your captor. You didn’t care for the Borg. You were glad to see the back of them. I can’t be around Lore right now, but at the same time… I still need him. It kills me that I need him.’

He watched her, not knowing how to respond to that.

‘I’m not his pet anymore,’ she continued, ‘I have no intention to do what he wants me to and when he wants me to do it. I don’t want to entertain him or obey him. I don’t want to be that childlike idiot he turned me into, but… I do love him and I know it won’t change. I have no idea how to behave around him because everything is different. I want to see him but I’m scared of what it’ll do to me, to him, to us…’

Picard exhaled a sigh. ‘I’m glad that you’re coming back to yourself, in some respects,’ he replied, ‘it’s a relief to know that you’re not his pet now,’

‘He’s not my keeper,’ she agreed.

‘No, he isn’t,’

‘He’s not my partner either, not my… boyfriend. I don’t know what he is. All I do know is that I understand him and though the things he has done are bad, they don’t make him a bad person. To someone like you, that probably sounds insane.’

That was an understatement. ‘My responsibility is to ensure that he can’t hurt anyone and that he is supervised. It’s not my place to judge the connection you have to him,’ he said, maintaining neutrality.

‘I just…’ She put her hands to her face again and wiped at the tears as they fell. ‘I just don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t eat and I can’t sleep. There’s even more still locked in my head and… when I think about that, it drives me crazy… all of this is driving me crazy. I even _look_ crazy and don’t think I don’t know it. I’m living in a nightmare. And then there’s Data too… there’s more there with him and I can’t figure it out. I feel terrible for pushing him away and being cruel to him, but I was following orders. I was blind… and now I’m not and I don’t know who he is either. What he is to me, what he means… my life, my mind, my body, it’s all a mess…’

As she gave in to her agony again and sobbed into her palms, Picard put himself in her place so he could get some objectivity on it all. He took everything he’d felt when he’d been liberated from his identity as Locutus and then he melded it into everything he knew about Kristen, both before and after and now. 

He didn’t have Troi’s telepathy or vast knowledge of psychology, didn’t have Crusher’s bedside manner or her natural warmth and he didn’t even have Data’s unassuming and gentle kindness but he did have experience with what at least some of Kristen had been through. That set them apart from the others.

He asked himself what the young woman needed and it was then he realised that at present, she simply needed someone to be with her. She’d declined company constantly, but that was because she didn’t want to answer questions or have to pretend she was coping when she was not. Kristen needed someone to exist with her during these torturous moments without probing her or telling her she’d be okay. She needed the knowing neutrality that only he could give her.

She was wracked with sobs as he shifted his position and came to sit by her side. Kristen didn’t look to him and didn’t stop crying, even when he lifted an arm and put it around her shoulders. He had expected that she might be surprised that he was offering her this kind of comfort, but clearly she was just too far gone to realise how unusual it was for him to act like this. He pulled her to him and then she was held in both of his arms and her head was on his chest. 

Picard decided not to say another word to her, or at least not whilst they were in the conduit. The best thing he could do for her was this – just be a safe presence, someone to lean on.

‘I’m sorry…’ she managed, as she cried.

He didn’t reply, he simply held her closer and rubbed her back with a hand. Kristen settled into his embrace and then she wept, soaking his uniform with tears.

*

They stayed like that for a long time. When Kristen had finally managed to stop crying, she felt hollow inside and also rather ashamed of herself. The Starfleet Counselor she had once been would never, _ever_ have behaved as she just had and yet Captain Picard had definitely been helpful in his approach to her breakdown. Succour was sometimes found in the most unexpected of places and succour had certainly been found in Picard’s almost paternal embrace. 

As soon as she was capable, she withdrew from his arms and then they looked at each other. 

‘I think that you should let me take you back to your quarters now,’ he said, in a soft tone, ‘and that when you’re there, you should try to eat and then go to bed. You’re more human than you realise and you need to take care of that part of yourself. It’s vital that you do.’

She shivered a little. ‘Hmm… I know I don’t want to be in this Jefferies tube anymore,’ she admitted.

He knelt up and then offered her a hand. She took it, not sure why he was doing that. It wasn’t like they could crawl out of the conduit system holding hands. 

‘You’re a brave woman,’ he told her, ‘and for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you.’ He squeezed her hand to emphasise what he was saying and then he gently let go of it. ‘Now, come with me and let’s both go and get some rest.’

Kristen nodded. ‘Thank you, Captain,’

‘You’re welcome.’

He turned then and they made their way down the conduit. At the ladder, he let her go first and they climbed downwards to another conduit. Doctor Crusher was waiting there. Kristen looked at her, surprised, but Beverly didn’t say anything. She just offered a small, kind smile, and then she helped her to exit the hatch and step out into Engineering.

Data was standing with Deanna and Geordi but as soon as he saw her, he moved over, apparently unable to help himself. She took his hands and shook all over as she guided her to her feet. Days of not eating had left her incredibly weak. He asked her if she needed to be carried but she shook her head. She’d been coddled enough for the time being didn’t want to impose any more than she had either. Picard and Ben got out of the hatch too and then conversation began and Kristen tuned out of it. She felt too weird to keep up with what they were saying. 

Data noticed that she was disconnected and so he moved her to the side and she looked up at him. ‘Had I known that pestering you would inspire you to do something like this, I would not have been so persistent,’ he said, guilt in his amber eyes, ‘it was never my intention to make this situation worse for you,’

‘It can’t get any worse,’ she replied, ‘but don’t worry. I know you were only trying to help.’

Data kept hold of her hands, trying to keep her steady. ‘Doctor Crusher would like to give you some shots before we take you back to your quarters. Is that agreeable?’

‘Sure, I don’t mind. Has she got any arsenic?’ 

Data blinked. 

‘Sorry. That was meant to be a joke. I think.’

He blinked again. ‘Kristen…’

She eased her fingers from between his, noting how that seemed to trouble him even more than her dark humour, and then she took a step back from him. His presence was just too confusing, not to mention that he reminded her so much of Lore. ‘Sorry…’ she said, ‘I’m sorry, I just…’

‘I am the one who should apologise. I need to give you space,’ he replied.

‘Yes, that could be good…’

Doctor Crusher came to them and so did the others. Kristen remained disconnected inside as she was given nutritional supplements and other boosters for her immune system and then she was checked over by Counselor Troi in ways that were silent and strange. Kristen was disinterested and grateful for this care at the same time. 

She kept thinking of Lore, which made her feel terrible. She could never hate him, but she also despised what he’d done to her and still she craved his company. She missed his presence and the way he looked at her. Her friends here on the _Enterprise_ were so giving and kind and still she needed the comfort of his scent and warmth. Kristen decided not to mention that. She’d caused enough trouble for one day. It was very late and apart from Data, all of the others needed to turn in for the night. 

Data was asked by the Captain to remain in Engineering until nightwatch was over so that he could do some work that apparently needed doing. Data looked crestfallen that he’d been given that order. 

Kristen watched his face as the others started to move her across the room and towards the turbolift. She couldn’t break eye contact with him. He was looking at her in such a searching way that it once more made her wonder just why Lore had told her to stay away from him. There seemed no good reason for it, beyond the problems the two brothers had with one another. Lore was possessive but there was more, always more, than what she could understand about the situation she was in. 

Kristen was still gazing at him as the turbolift doors closed and even then, the worry and emotion he’d been feeling scored into her soul.

_I can’t deal with this today. I can’t worry about Data when I feel like I might be about to keel over through stress. Tomorrow, I’ll try to work him out and whatever truths that connect us._

At her quarters, she was escorted inside. Doctor Crusher replicated some soup for her and then made sure she ate every spoonful of it. Counselor Troi got a clean change of clothes for her and then she was changing into them in the bathroom. When she returned, Captain Picard, LaForge and N’Dya had gone. Kristen had wanted to thank Picard again for what he’d said and done in the Jefferies tube, but she was left with only Beverly and Deanna. They took her into her bedroom and she sat down on the end of her bed in ship-issue pyjamas. The comm badge Data had given her was fixed to her top (‘just in case’) and then she was encouraged to lie down.

‘I will soon,’ she said, ‘I’ve got some thinking to do before I try to sleep.’

Crusher smiled at her. ‘Alright, Kristen. Would you like us to leave you alone now?’

‘Yes please. Sorry.’

Troi smiled too. ‘There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’ll come and see you tomorrow, if that’s alright. I’d like to check that you’re doing okay and then if you want to talk, we can. If you don’t want to, I’ll just pay you a short visit and then I’ll go.’

Kristen nodded. ‘Okay.’

Crusher and Troi said goodnight and then they left. There was stillness and silence then and for a while, Kristen basked in that. She looked around her bedroom area and tried to work out how she was feeling. There were still so many emotions inside of her that she knew she wasn’t going to be able to sleep. 

Like it or not, she was still consumed by the need to see Lore. It had been over a week and even her fear of how they would interact now that so much of the truth had been revealed, she couldn’t quell her desire to be with him. She had things she wanted to say. She wanted to face him with the awareness she now had, not as an obedient pet, but as someone who knew him better than anyone else ever had. He knew her too, from her cybernetics to her human heart. 

Troi, Picard, Data, N’Dya and LaForge were all friends and they meant a lot to her, as did all they had said and done to help her transition back to reality, but he was the enigma at the centre of it all and they were still connected. The subliminal link was severed, but the love was not.

She waited for a while and then she asked the computer to tell her where her friends were. Picard, Troi, Crusher, LaForge and N’Dya were in their quarters and Data was still in Engineering. Trusting that Data would be working and that the others would be asleep, she stood from the bed and then she left her quarters. Kristen knew that what she was about to do was highly inadvisable, especially after all that had happened over that day and the week overall, but the internal compass of her emotions had her proceed anyway. Lore was the northern star and her ship just had to sail.

Barefoot, she moved down the corridor and was relieved when she didn’t see anyone on her travels. The computer told her where to find Lore and so she snuck into the turbolift, waited a while, and was soon exiting it again and heading down another corridor, straight to that cold, cold star she loved.

Kristen signalled at his door. Pensive, she bit down on her lower lip until it hurt. She looked over her shoulder to check she hadn’t been seen, but again there was nobody around. Most of the crew had turned in for the night due to how late it was and everyone else would be at their night shift stations. She signalled again when he didn’t answer, and then again. She understood why he didn’t want to be bothered but she also knew that he’d give up eventually and come to the door. He was hardly a patient individual. 

Lore looked incensed when he finally appeared but then his expression turned to one of disbelief.

‘Move out of the way. I want to come in,’ she said, quiet but determined. He did as she asked immediately. She looked around his rooms, noticed how spartan they were, and then she came to a standstill as she waited for him. 

Lore asked the doors to be locked when they closed, but the request was denied. ‘I should have expected that,’ he said, rhetorically, and then he moved to her side and put his hands to her arms. ‘Are you alright? You look terrible.’

Kristen shook her head at him and then lifted his hands away. ‘You’re not to touch me right now, okay?’

He let his arms drop to his sides. ‘I should have expected that too,’

‘Yes, you should. I want to talk to you. So get me a cup of coffee, because I’m bloody exhausted and I’m going to need some caffeine,’

‘Alright. Whatever you need.’

Kristen went to sit down in the small sitting area he’d been provided with and then she watched him as he replicated her drink. He brought it over, set it down, and then flopped down into the chair next to hers. They considered each other for a time. ‘What do you want to talk about?’ he asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. 

‘You’ve got an ethical subroutine. Data told me.’

Lore’s brows furrowed. ‘So? I wouldn’t hurt you anyway. I don’t need ethics for that.’

She pinned him with a weighty stare. ‘You’ve hurt me a great deal already. I’ve been remembering things. Such as how I was kidnapped and changed into what I am now. I know that you lied and lied to me. A lot of my programming was comprised of very complicated and layered untruths,’

‘When we were last together, you told me those things don’t matter,’ he replied. His tone bordered on casual but she knew him too well. His body language was changing in subtle ways as he altered his position on the chair but she read the anxiety that was building up in him already. ‘You said that I’m your future. I’m still your keeper, Kristen.’

Anger ached inside her. ‘No, you’re not. I’m not your pet anymore. One of the reasons I came here tonight is to tell you that,’ 

‘Alright,’

‘My name is Kristen Harper and I was a Starfleet officer. I was kidnapped by you, for reasons I’m still working out, and you hurt me. You killed other Starfleet officers and you killed Ria too. I haven’t got specific memories of those events, but I know the truth. I know what you did because I’ve been told and I also read the files. I need you to know that I’m becoming myself again. I am a real girl. I thought I wasn’t, that I could never be… but I am. I’ve just been abused and violated. But I am real. I am.’

He stared into her eyes for a long moment and then his gaze dropped.

‘You stole my whole life. What you replaced it with was a fiction. You projected your fantasies onto me and turned me into a puppet. You’ve told me what the others did to you, how much it broke you and twisted you, and then you did all of those things to me. You removed parts of my body without my permission. You denied me my rights. You brutalised me.’

Lore looked up again. ‘Okay. So we’ve established that I’m the villain. There’s nothing new there. What do you want from me?’

Startled by his churlish tone, she felt the anger increase. ‘How about you start with an apology?’

‘I’m not good with apologies.’

Kristen pulled back, physically so. ‘Lore, you’d better show me some remorse or I swear I will walk out of here right now and I’ll never come back.’

His façade was up, despite the anxiety that remained in his eyes. ‘I’m out of my comfort zone,’ he said.

‘Fuck you.’ She stood up. ‘ _You’re_ out of your comfort zone?! I was once a human being and now I’m a cyborg. How does you think that feels? I’m losing my damned mind! I haven’t been able to eat or sleep all week and I’ve cried rivers over everything you’ve done. How can you sit there and be so sullen? That’s it. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m leaving.’

She turned to storm out, but he moved quickly and secured his hand around her wrist. ‘You’re not leaving,’ he said, standing to grab her other wrist too.

‘I told you not to touch me!’ she warned.

‘Try to calm down so we can talk through this,’ he implored, ‘if you leave what we have in this way, you’ll regret it. You know that I need you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have let you get so close to me.’

Kristen yanked her herself out of his grasp. ‘How could you do what you did to me?! How could you steal my life? You’ve had so many terrible things happen to you but none of it counts because you have let it possess you. You’ve turned into an abuser. You abused me!’

‘I am self-aware, Kristen,’ he snapped, ‘and I do know that I’ve externalised my pain and let it corrupt me. None of what you’re saying is news to me. I _know_ that I’m a terrible person!’

She grabbed hold of him then, putting her hands to his chest and fisting at the fabric of his shirt. ‘I hate what you’ve done to me! I hate that I still need you!’

Lore let her shake him and then he took a deep breath and moved his arms to slowly circle them around her waist. Kristen was frantic in her anger but when he held her like that, her heart skipped a beat. Her legs felt weakened too by that show of affection, but she was still fierce enough to be strong. She stared up at him, her chin wobbling and her eyes wide. 

‘You still need me?’ he asked.

For once, she didn’t want to be generous with her feelings. ‘I said that I _hate_ that I still need you,’ she replied.

‘What is it that you need?’ Lore asked, ignoring her vitriol.

‘What are you talking about? I don’t understand.’

He tightened his arms around her. ‘In what way do you need me, Kristen? Do you still love me?’

She thought about his need to control. She thought about how he’d never been needed by anyone before her, not in a real way. She thought about how she’d come to know how he ticked, what made him happy, what injured him. He was a part of her, cruel or not. ‘Of course I still love you,’ she said, though her tone was crisp instead of giving, ‘but you need to know that I don’t have a clue where we stand now. I’m not your pet and you’re certainly not my keeper,’

‘You can still be mine,’ he intoned, ‘I can still be yours,’

‘I don’t think that’s going to work. I have huge gaps in my memories still and I’m depressed and confused. I can’t commit to you or anyone else until I know all the facts. I can’t trust you, Lore. I can’t ask you to tell me the truth because you’re too deceitful,’ she replied.

Pained, he released her from his arms then. She let go of his shirt and then she moved to sit back down in her chair. Kristen only realised she was trembling when she picked up her coffee and took a sip. As she drank some more, he moved to stand behind the sofa and then he rested his hands on the back of it and stared downwards with unfocused eyes. She allowed some silence, some space, and drank her coffee until the cup was half empty. Then she placed it down again and waited for him to respond to what she’d said.

‘As a rule, I don’t do promises,’ he said, his gaze connecting to hers, ‘but I will offer you a promise now, if you’re willing to hear me out?’

She nodded.

‘I know I’ve got work to do on myself. I know that now I’ve got an ethical subroutine, I’m going to have to give up certain personality traits that aren’t going to work for me from now on. Being ambitious is pointless. Being a hustler and a criminal, as enjoyable as those past times are, are now out of my reach. If I’m going to have any sort of a life, I’m the only one who can make it tolerable because nobody else, save for you, gives a damn about me. You’re the only one who cares. So, I need to earn your trust. That said… I promise you that from today onwards I will never lie to you again,’ he said.

Kristen wanted to believe him but after everything he’d done, she was unsure. ‘When a pathological liar asks you to trust them, what do you do?’ she asked.

Lore shook his head at her, aghast. ‘It depends on if you love them enough to let them try to change,’ he said.

‘For all I know, you could still be using me. You say you care, you hold me and kiss me and say sweet things… but you can never tell me you love me, no matter how many times I ask. It’s all about me loving you. How can I trust someone who abuses me and manipulates me and-’

‘It doesn’t matter then!’ he shouted, standing up from the sofa and gesturing his frustration with one hand, ‘don’t let me change! I’ll stay the villain and you stay the victim! It’s fine with me! I retract my offer of a promise and I give up before I’ve started! If you won’t believe in me then there’s no point in trying to better myself. I give up. I’m done.’

Kristen’s face couldn’t seem to fix on one expression. She was hurt, confused, angry and totally at a loss over how childish he was being. ‘I’ve defended you. I’ve argued your side. I’ve obeyed you and entertained you, I’ve pleasured you and fought for you. I have ripped holes in this vessel to be by your side. I’ve injured people and put myself through hell… and you give up on trying to better yourself just because I won’t automatically put all of my faith in you? Lore, you’ve got more work to do than you can possibly realise. I am the _one_ person who knows you and loves you and you’re still hurting me. Can’t you think of someone other than yourself?’

He wasn’t listening. He turned away from her and walked away, through the partition that led to the deeper recesses of his rooms. Kristen couldn’t believe he’d left her like that. She wanted to go after him, to tell him what an immature idiot he was, but she wasn’t going to. Instead, she stayed right where she was. She’d stay there all night if she had to. He couldn’t sulk in those other rooms forever.

Lore was gone for just over twenty minutes, which surprised her. She had expected his theatrical exit to have lasted for at least an hour or two. When he re-entered the lounge area, he hadn’t calmed down at all. He seemed angrier than ever and she was glad he didn’t have the ability to lash out. She was sure that if he could, he’d be ripping his quarters to pieces. 

‘You know,’ he said, ‘I can tell you’re a real girl again. You’re turning into who you used to be before I changed you.’

She stood up, ready for the confrontation. ‘Is that so?’

‘Yes. You’re a bitch again. I thought I’d ironed that out of you, but I was clearly mistaken.’

Kristen felt the sting of his insult, but she’d had worse. ‘You make it hard to love you when you speak to me that way,’ she replied.

‘Then don’t love me. Give up on me. Walk out of here and don’t come back,’ he snapped, citrine eyes smouldering with pain.

‘That’s probably for the best. Shall we see this as a break-up?’ she asked, moving over to the doors.

‘Such human notions are far too sentimental for me to take seriously. Just leave,’ he returned.

Kristen felt as though she’d been punched in the stomach. She lifted her chin, wondering why she wasn’t crying yet. Perhaps she’d cried so much that there were no more tears left to shed. ‘You do know that if I go now, I’ll avoid you from now on?’ 

Lore was shaking. She noticed it as he came over to her. ‘Of course I know that. I wish I’d never met you in the first place. I liked who I was before I had you brought to my creator’s lab. You changed me and made me weak. You made me vulnerable. I could hate you for that,’

‘You could or you do?’

‘ _Leave._ ’

She looked into his eyes, saw him fighting himself. All of this was more masochistic than sadistic, but he had no idea. Lore was self-destructing and pushing her away because he had very little experience with love, loyalty and sticking to the right path instead of racing down the wrong one with his eyes closed. Kristen was hurting for him. She wanted to care for him, to fix him, but what they had was apparently over and she’d fought enough for them both. If there was a chance of clearing up this mess, he would have to be the one to do it.

The doors opened and Kristen shifted her gaze to the corridor. Then she started walking. She used her highly-tuned hearing to try and figure out whether he was following her or not, but it seemed he was stationary in the doorway. A few seconds later, she heard the doors close and when she turned, she saw that Lore was gone. He’d given up and what they had was done. 

_I still love you…_

At her quarters, she stood in the middle of the room and looked around in a daze. The silence throbbed all around her, or at least that was what she thought at first. Kristen soon realised it was her heart that was throbbing. It pounded in her ears as her pulse raced. 

Lore might not be able to lash out and break things, but she certainly could. Her frustration was vented by storming over to her coffee table, picking it up and throwing it at the wall. Because of her cybernetic limbs, it was an easy lift and throw, one she hardly felt. Broken glass rained down on the floor and then the wrecked frame of the table landed with a crash atop another, smaller table. Unsatisfied, she then grabbed those broken pieces and launched them at the wall. She also smashed an ornamental plant, pot included, against the viewport window and wrenched a shelving unit from the wall until it gave way and collapsed.

After that bout of carnage, she sat down on the floor and rested her back against the bulkhead. Her breathing was erratic. As she stared at the glittering glass and wreckage all around her, she began to disassociate again. Exhaustion and pain were dragging her down so much that she felt as though she was sinking into the carpet. 

Then there was a signal at the door. Security had been called, obviously. Someone had passed the corridor outside and had heard her wreaking havoc. Weary and not at all ready for a conversation with some human fool who could never understand what she was going through, she got up from the floor with a sigh and then she slammed her hand onto the panel.

Lore took one look at her, peered over her shoulder at what she’d done, and then he walked her backwards with his hands on her forearms. The doors closed behind them. ‘What do you think you’re playing at?’ she snapped, ‘we’re done. We’re over,’

‘Not until I say we are,’ he snarled, fire in those eyes that haunted her.

‘You’re a fucking control freak,’ she returned, ‘you’re cruel and I hate what you do to me!’

He stared her down until she closed her mouth and then he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Kristen shivered and clutched at his back. He still smelt of smoke and steel. His body was warm and each plane of his chest was familiar in ways that made her long for the past, for times when their bond was simple and so was their love. She rested her forehead against his chest and then closed her eyes when he whispered to her that he was sorry for making her leave. There was a want to see his face when he said those words, but she couldn’t move. 

Lore held her until she could catch her breath and then he used a careful hand to tilt her head back and look at her. ‘I meant what I said,’ he told her, ‘I won’t lie to you anymore. I promise I won’t deceive you. I want to deserve you, not push you away. I want to treat you right. Will you trust me? Please?’

‘I can try,’ she said, her voice quiet, ‘but it won’t be easy,’

‘I’m terrified of losing you,’ he admitted.

Kristen put her hands to his face. ‘Are you?’

‘I’ve never been more afraid. I’ve never been weaker than this…’

‘It’s not weakness,’ she told him, running her thumb over his lower lip, ‘you’ve opened your heart, that’s all. You’re not used to it.’

He took her hand and placed it over his heart. The thudding in his chest was not artificial – it was as real as his terror and as real as her relief to see that he was capable of putting his ego to one side so he could show, even if only with neediness, that she was vital to him. He’d said so much but now he wanted to prove it. Would she give him the chance? Yes. Of course she would. Always. She wouldn’t commit herself to him fully until she knew _all_ of the truths of her past, her life, but nor would she break their bond. They’d been through far too much together.

‘Kristen,’ he said, ‘can I stay here with you tonight?’

‘Yes, you can… but you need to listen to what I have to say to you first,’

‘Of course. I’m listening,’ Lore replied, still holding her hand to his heart.

‘I can’t know what we’ve got until I’ve got all of my memories back. For all I know, there could be facts still hanging in the balance that could change everything. I’ll always be in your life now, but I can’t tell you that we’ll be in a relationship. I _have_ to know myself before I can promise you anything more than friendship. Okay?’

He flinched and then he dropped his gaze from hers. ‘I’ll try to be patient. I really will.’

Kristen gave him a sad smile and then she moved her hands to take both of his and she pulled him away from the wreckage in her lounge area and to the bedroom instead. 

Lore let himself be guided, curiosity filling his eyes now. He squeezed her hands and she returned the gesture, trying to reassure him that there would be no more trouble for that night at least. She just wanted to lie down with him, to hold him and be held in return. He sat down on the bed when she asked him to and when she’d asked the computer to lower the lights almost completely, she joined him and then they were cuddled up in a safe, comfortable place. The shadows were soothing.

When he’d held her for a while, she felt him nuzzle his face against hers. Kristen looked up at him and then she closed her eyes and nuzzled him in return, running her nose against his cheek and breathing in that dark scent he had. Healing kisses followed and they were slow and gentle. He put a hand to the back of her head to bring her closer and Kristen opened her mouth, letting him bury his fear in her affection. They were not pet and keeper anymore, but this was too good to deny, even though she knew she should be telling him to stop. She should be telling herself to slow down, but she couldn’t.

Lore’s tongue stroked hers and she sighed with pleasure. They might have kissed and flirted since they’d come to the _Enterprise_ , during their stolen moments in the brig, but she felt as though he hadn’t touched her in years. The kindness she’d been shown by Picard in the Jefferies tube had been truly helpful, but Lore could give her solace and love that no-one else could. 

He needed what she needed. They were both in pain. They were both lonely. They were both hungry to be accepted and reassured and protected from a world that only ever seemed to offer wounds instead of blessings. 

Kristen noticed that he wasn’t attempting to undress her and that he was also letting her lead the kiss. He was showing her patience already but as her body gave in to arousal and her core began to ache for him, she found that she didn’t want him to be who he wasn’t. Lore was dominant, not sentimental. She wanted him to be honest and considerate but when it came to intimate matters, she didn’t want any change at all. He’d never hurt her when it came to sex so there was no wrong to make right. All of the sex they’d had in the past had been when she could have sworn she was innocent to such things but Kristen knew now that he hadn’t been her first. 

Lore had still been a skilled tutor but right now, when she knew her identity and that their past had been mostly false, she wanted a coupling that was as real as possible. She broke their kiss and then she whispered to him that she wanted him to undress her and not hold back. He said that if they were only friends then it might not be wise. 

‘I want you to do this for me,’ she whispered, ‘the sex we had before was like role play. I was your pet and you were my keeper. I want us to share something real. Let me see who you really are.’

His hand ran over her thigh and then he lifted it and hooked it over his hip. ‘You want me to have sex with you as Kristen Harper… not as my pet… not as my perfect creation…’

‘Yes, exactly that,’

‘What if it hurts us all the more?’

‘I want to stop thinking now. Can’t we just feel instead?’

‘You might not respect me in the morning…’

‘I will if you hold me down and make us both feel good. I need you. I need this.’

Lore hesitated for a few moments and then things changed between them. He kissed her in the way she remembered – with roughness that was both tender and possessing. Kristen couldn’t help but moan with pleasure, even though that sound was stifled in the exchange. 

He kissed and kissed her and then he used one slow hand to work open the fastenings on her pyjama top. More of her skin was revealed when he helped her out of the top and then liberated her lower body from her pyjama pants. Kristen felt free when he altered their positions – pushing her down onto her back and spreading her legs whilst he knelt between them and considered her with eyes that smouldered with desire now instead of pain. Lore had no idea how disarming he could be when his façade was down. How handsome, how sensual, how hot.

_He’s the dark angel, not me…_

Holding her arms down above her head and then covering her body with his, he sidled his hips against hers and Kristen made a quiet keening sound. Lore kissed the side of her face and then, when he worked his way to her throat, he bit her there. She couldn’t help but writhe. He bit her again, licked over those tooth marks, and then blew over the wetness to make her cry out. 

‘I’m losing my mind,’ she whispered, not sure if to herself or to him.

Lore kissed her lips and then he sidled his hips again. ‘You’re beautiful,’ he replied.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : When it comes to the two updates a week, I've decided that I'll update every Monday as I always do and if I get a good amount of feedback on that chapter, I'll go ahead and post another one on a Wednesday too. So please do let me know what you think :) Hope you all had a lovely Easter. Cheers! xx


	40. Conflicted Hearts

The following morning, Lore didn’t want to wake Kristen. He knew she hadn’t slept for a long time and so he was careful when he extracted himself from her arms and got out of her bed. He used her sonic shower, dressed himself and then he checked to see that she was still asleep. She was and he was relieved. The dark smudges under her eyes would only fade once she’d slept sufficiently and he’d be glad to see them go. He wanted to see her smile again too, real smiles that didn’t mask pain or weren’t tight with anxiety. 

He couldn’t imagine what it would take, how long it would take, for Kristen to heal. Only a miracle, surely. Lore lingered for a moment or two, entranced by the blue lights that flickered on her positronic grafts and by the shape of her full lips and the becoming line of her profile in general, and then he took himself into her lounge area and started to clean up the mess she’d made the night before. 

The broken furniture was easily disposed of, but the shattered glass was everywhere. Knowing it was his fault she’d been so destructive in the first place, Lore crouched down and started to work at extracting the shards from the carpet. Some were big and some were small. Some were so small that human eyes would never have seen them. He was glad to have something productive to do. What he wanted to do was go back to Kristen and when she’d woken of her own accord, beg her not to keep him as only a friend and nothing more. 

He’d been infatuated with her for some time but last night had been a whole new level of closeness and his love for her had increased hundredfold. She had been right to say that the sex they’d had before was role play. She’d thought herself to be a being that was programmed to be ‘fully functional and anatomically correct’ and he’d had to teach her about intimacy when in reality, she’d at one time been a human woman who had her own sexuality and desires and needs. 

Lore felt guilty for brainwashing her and daren’t think of everything else he’d done. It was too painful, like a knife pointing inwards with self-hatred written on the blade. He wanted to blame that guilt on his ethical subroutine but he knew it was more than programming. Love had woken him up from a stupor of angst and now his eyes were open, he felt as though he could see everything. 

Kristen had every right to want him to prove he could be honest and loyal. She had every right to need time before she decided on what would become of them. If she wanted him to jump through metaphorical hoops for the next twenty years, it would be a small ask. If she wanted him to dedicate his whole existence to making up for what he’d done to her, he’d do it without hesitation.

He wondered if last night would prove to be their last time together, when it came to sex. If that was so, he would be completely heartbroken but also he would be glad that it had gone as it had. There had been no games, no roles and definitely no pretence. The physical intensity of it could never have been achieved by humans or at least not without bruises and sprains, perhaps even fractures, to show for it. Lore knew Kristen was a cyborg instead of an android but that still made her much stronger and more durable than her peers. Her physical strength and stamina made what they shared feel like a journey.

Cringing at that thought, he rolled his eyes at himself. He didn’t like the cliché but he couldn’t deny the emotion he felt. 

He could recall every sigh and moan, every impassioned cry, the look on her face every time she reached the zenith of pleasure, the glint in her eyes when she coaxed him to the same degree of bliss repeatedly. Her body might have been enhanced with abilities and strength that fully organic beings did not have, but her personality was no longer submissive and she was truly coming back to herself. Kristen had been so knowing and though she’d remembered exactly what he liked and the lessons he’d taught her, she’d shown him what she liked too. What she truly liked, not what he’d manipulated her to think she enjoyed.

Before, she had used her sexual subroutine and his tuition to express herself intimately. Now, she was different and as much as Lore could never have expected her to be better now, she was. Or perhaps ‘better’ was inaccurate. Kristen was less artificial now and more in-tune with her fancies. It made for interesting exchanges and satisfaction beyond compare.

She had wanted them to share something real, to see who he really was. With the role play discarded, the charade at an end and a ceaseless, desperate hunger just to be with her – Lore had given Kristen just what she had wanted. He’d allowed her to see his softer side, during couplings that were not so violently physical, and he’d let her see through his natural dominance to extents of her being surprised as to just how gentle and considerate he could be. 

Not being her keeper and still being wanted by her had been the most beautiful thing of all. He had owned and possessed her, yes, but it had been through passion instead of anything false. 

Lore didn’t want to be her keeper now. He wanted Kristen as she was, by his side, forever. He wanted her to want that too. He loved her for who she really was, not for who he’d made her to be.

He picked up more shards of glass and laid them on the flat of his palm, wondering what would happen when she remembered that she and Data had been in a long-term relationship. When she remembered that they’d been engaged and had been in the early stages of planning their wedding. Lore knew he wasn’t lying to Kristen by withholding that information, but he was definitely letting her remain oblivious. 

Was that dishonest? Was inaction dishonest? Having ethics was strange and something Lore was still getting used to. He’d promised her that he wouldn’t lie and intended to stick to that. Lore resolved that if she asked him outright if she’d been with Data that he’d tell her that she had been.

_She won’t ask you that and you know it. She’d need the memory or at least the suspicion to start off with._

Lore stood up and deposited some of the glass in the replicator. He’d programmed it to remove everything he placed into it, the broken furniture included. It shimmered and then disappeared when he pressed the relevant button. 

He stared into space for a while, knowing his introspection was turning painful when he thought about Data and his deep and intimate connection to Kristen. All of this had started because they were together, because Data had found the right person for him and had fallen madly in love with her. Lore had wanted to hit his brother where it truly hurt and that much had definitely been achieved by kidnapping his fiancée and then torturing and re-creating her. 

He got a mental image of Kristen’s face when she realised that she’d not only been Data’s friend but that she’d been his fiancée too and felt himself sink inside. 

Would only the memories return or would the emotions come back to her too? Would she fall in love with him again? Would she still want him? Before she’d been kidnapped, they had shared a passionate connection. When he’d interrogated her on the details, she hadn’t been able to criticise a single thing they shared. Would she revert back to that old lovesickness? 

_Please choose me over him… I’ll forgive Data of every single other thing he’s taken from me if I can keep you, Kristen… please, please choose me over him…_

Lore got back to work and managed to think of nothing at all as he cleared up the rest of the glass. It took a long time but he knew he had to do it. It was the least he could do, all things considered. When Kristen’s quarters were as they had been before her rampage, albeit with less furniture than before, he straightened himself and decided to check on her again.

She was awake and sitting on the edge of the bed, her hair tousled and her body wrapped in a blanket. Lore tried not to smile at the sight of her, but there was no way he could help it. She seemed to be lost in thought and so he went over to her and took a seat by her side. Turning her head, she looked up at him with her luminous red eyes. His smile faded then. He could see that she was feeling down for it was written all over her face. 

‘Where have you been?’ she asked.

‘I was fixing the mess in the other room,’ he explained.

‘Oh. You didn’t have to do that…’

‘I wanted to,’

‘Well, thank you.’

He frowned when she gathered the blanket tighter around herself and then turned her head to stare into space. ‘Do you want me to fetch you some coffee?’ he asked.

‘No, it’s okay. I’ll do it.’ 

She stood up before he could stop her and then he was following her out of the bedroom. Her coffee was ordered at the replicator and then she moved over to the sofa and sat down again. Lore sat down next to her, making sure to give her some space. He’d expected to be on his knees and begging her to not to reject him at this point but her mood was sufficiently odd enough for him to prioritise watching her over anything else. 

Kristen drank some of her coffee and then she put the cup down on the floor and turned her gaze to his. ‘I’m going to ask Data to give me the rest of my memories back,’ she said.

‘That’s not a good idea,’ Lore replied.

‘I’m not asking your opinion. I am telling you what I intend to do,’ she said.

He felt a murmur of fear, deep down inside. ‘I could unlock those memories for you instead,’ he offered, trying to sound calm, ‘I should be the one to do that, if that’s what you need,’

‘Somehow, I doubt that you’d be allowed access to the necessary equipment,’

‘I could always ask…’

‘No, Lore. I’m going to ask Data for help with this. You’ll have to accept that.’

He thought of everything she was going to recall and it made him feel as close to sick as an android could feel. ‘Will you do one thing for me? Please?’

‘It depends what it is,’ Kristen replied, sipping her coffee and then putting it down.

Lore reached for her hand and held it tightly, looking into her eyes with seriousness he hoped she’d feel. ‘Unlock everything you need to, except for unit 24-E. There is nothing in those files that you need to know. It is just a collection of impressions and emotions. Take all you need all the way up to unit 24, but _please_ leave unit 24-E alone,’ he implored. 

‘If you’re trying to hide something from me, there’s likely a good reason,’ she said, ‘and I want to know what that reason is. I want to know every single fact about who I was and what happened to me,’

‘You said that you would try to trust me,’ he replied, ‘and I need you to trust me on this. I’m not asking you to leave that unit alone to protect me, I’m asking that because I want to protect _you._ ’

Kristen sighed and looked away from him. ‘I did the wrong thing by letting you stay here last night. I let my feelings for you run out of control. I’m so raw and confused right now… and I was stupid to let you stay. I just needed to feel something pleasurable for a change, instead of being choked by depression. I think you should go, Lore. Us being together is too conflicting for me right now. I’m not ending our relationship, but I need time. When we’re together, I can’t think straight and I can’t trust myself to act appropriately. You should go.’

The fear stopped being a murmur and became a scream inside his heart instead. Lore let go of Kristen’s hand and then he got off the bed and lowered himself down to his knees in front of her. She did look a little surprised to see him behave that way but concepts of weakness or vulnerability were lost on him completely and so he didn’t care if this was unusual or if he was letting his feelings be known. Lore looked up at her with pleading in his eyes and then he took both of her hands in his and kissed them in turn.

‘I know you’re scared I will reject you, but there-’ she attempted.

‘Kristen, please,’ he cut in, ‘please, don’t ask me to go. I need you,’

‘I need you too,’

‘You will reject me and you’re right… I am scared. I’m terrified of losing you.’

She considered him but the look in her eyes was touched by doubt. Lore leaned forwards and then he was wrapping his arms around her waist and hanging onto her. His face was pressed to her solar plexus and his eyes were clenched shut with terror.

_I used to have pride. All I have now is a sense of impending dread… I am so afraid._

Kristen put her arms around him and held him gently at first, not saying a word. Then she lifted a hand and ran her fingers through his hair. 

That gesture was appreciated and so Lore didn’t move at all as she attempted to soothe him. This kind of affection would have repelled his previous self; the one who saw frailty in love and could find fulfilment only in self-gain. If that old version of Lore had been shown what was happening right now – himself on his knees, clinging to a woman he desperately needed to feel whole – he would have been horrified. But he was different now. He was growing as a person and as he did so, his perceptions of love were changing also. 

‘As well as promising you wouldn’t lie to me anymore, you also said you’d try to be patient,’ Kristen reminded him, as she moved her hand to the side of his face and brushed her thumb over his sideburn.

Lore opened his eyes and sat up, needing to see her face. ‘Do you truly want me to leave?’ he asked.

She nodded. ‘Yes, but it’s not because I’m rejecting you.’

He sighed, wishing she’d given him a different answer. Kristen leaned forwards and kissed him then, a soft kiss that he wanted to melt into. She held his face too, gentle and giving. Their mouths moved together for a little while and he ached at how right it felt. Trying to consider her fragile state, he managed to not overwhelm her by breaking the kiss first and then he pulled his arms from around her middle. 

‘If you still intend to go to Data to have your memories unlocked, will you please leave unit 24-E alone?’ he asked.

‘I will for now, but I can’t promise you that I’ll leave it forever. Those memories are mine. They belong to me,’ she replied.

‘I can’t deny that. I respect it too. Just take your time with this, please,’ he said.

There was a signal at the door then and they both turned to look at it. ‘I need to put some clothes on,’ Kristen said, ‘would you see who’s there whilst I get dressed?’

‘Yes, alright.’

She got up and walked back through to her bedroom, still swaddled in her blanket. Lore got to his feet and took a moment to take a deep breath and recover his usual façade and then he went to the door and pressed his hand to the panel.

‘Oh,’ Counselor Troi said, ‘I didn’t expect to see you here.’

Lore raised his eyebrows. ‘Was there something you wanted?’

‘Yes, I came to check in with Kris,’

‘She’s in the other room but I doubt she’ll be long. You’d better come in.’

Troi did so and took a wary look around, as though expecting to see something unpleasant. When she didn’t seem to notice that some of Kristen’s furniture had disappeared or ask any questions, Lore was a little surprised. She gave him a polite smile. ‘Are you staying?’ she asked.

‘No, I’ll be going soon,’ he replied.

Kristen returned wearing one of her usual ensembles. She’d gathered her hair back over one shoulder and though she’d attempted to plait it, it was still unkempt. Lore saw how slack her expression was, how depressed she remained. She’d managed to calm him when he’d been feeling insecure but her own problems were still heavy on her shoulders. 

‘Deanna,’ she said, ‘is everything alright?’

‘I came to ask you that exact question,’ Troi said.

Lore realised it was his time to depart. ‘I’ll go now,’ he said, moving back to the door.

‘I would like you at my office at 14:00 hours,’ Troi told him.

‘Why?’ Kristen asked.

‘Lore has agreed to receive therapy to help him adjust to his new life,’ Troi explained. 

‘I agreed under duress,’ he added.

‘It could be beneficial,’ Kristen said, as she sat down on the sofa, ‘a helping hand will be good for you. I hope you’ll attend all of your sessions.’

He hadn’t felt as though he’d any choice in this but now Kristen was encouraging him, he felt as though he had a good reason to play along. ‘I will. If you think it will help, I’ll give it a shot.’

She smiled at him, but it was weak. ‘Good. Please go now. We’ll talk soon.’

Lore nodded to her, to Troi, and then he turned and walked out of the room. In the corridor outside he started walking immediately, ready for some solace and silence in his own quarters. 

He wanted to think about everything that had happened last night and that morning so far and then he wanted to prepare himself for his first real therapy session. He knew he had a lot of work to do but he was fine with putting the effort in if it meant he’d remain in Kristen’s favour for just a little longer. When she got her memories back, she’d realise so much and the strength of their bond would be truly put to the test.

_The clock is ticking… and I’m going to have to be stronger than I’ve ever been to take what’s coming my way when time runs out. Whether I deserve it or not, it’s going to be painful and it’s going to be tough. The truth hurts, but it’ll hurt Kristen much more than it could ever hurt me. I wish I could shelter her from all of this, but I can’t…_

*

Kristen accepted her visit from Troi with good grace, but now her mind was set on recovering what was buried in her nested memory engrams, all she could think of was getting to Data so they could talk. She appreciated that Deanna was concerned and that she wanted to help, but Kristen wasn’t in the mood to relive the previous day at all.

‘Did you move some of your furniture?’ Deanna attempted, ‘there’s something different in here and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is…’

‘I had a fight with Lore last night and when I came back here, I broke a coffee table and some shelves and other things. I needed to vent my frustration,’ Kristen explained.

‘When Beverly and I left you, we were hoping you’d go to sleep,’

‘I know, but I had to see Lore. There were things I needed to say to him.’

Deanna nodded. ‘How are you feeling about him now?’

Kristen sighed and then sat forwards on the sofa. ‘Would you mind if we talked about this later? I’ve got other things on my mind and I’m not going to be able to relax until I can speak to Data for a while. I want him to interface with me again and unlock the rest of my memories,’

‘I can fully understand why you want that, but it might be worth giving yourself a couple of days to collect yourself,’ Deanna replied, ‘yesterday was especially tough for you. You haven’t been taking care of your health and you look drawn and ill, if you don’t mind my saying so. Why not take a day to yourself, to sleep and eat and rest? Then perhaps later in the week we could talk about these issues and how to progress with them.’

Shaking her head, Kristen felt herself grow impatient. ‘The reason I’m restless is because I need to progress out of this state. I want my mind back, Deanna. I want to feel whole again.’

Deanna looked sad then. Her dark eyes were like mirrors. ‘But do you think you can cope with what’s buried in your mind?’

‘How can I answer that when I have no idea what’s buried?’ Kristen replied.

‘I don’t know, Kris. All I do know is that I want you to be alright,’

‘I will be, once I know the facts. Please try to understand how I feel,’

‘I can feel _exactly_ what you feel. You’re frustrated and confused and tired. You’re still in love with Lore but he’s causing you pain. You want to figure out what connects you and Data. All of it is becoming too much for you and has been for some time.’

Kristen inclined her head. ‘Your Empathy has me at a disadvantage… but so does my internal conflict. Please be a friend to me and support me in this instead of sticking to your role as Starfleet Counselor. I’m telling you what I need and I’d feel so much better if you’d stand by my side instead of opposing me in this,’

‘I don’t think it’s wise to rush into this when you’re unwell, but it’s clear to me that you’ll do what you want anyway.’ Then she came over and sat by Kristen’s side. ‘I’ll support you,’ she added, ‘and I’ll be here for you if any of what you uncover is too much for you to handle.’

Kristen gave her a small smile, relieved. ‘Thank you. Do you know where Data is today?’

‘He’s on the bridge. I’m sure he’ll be allowed to come to you, though,’ Deanna replied.

Kristen tapped her comm badge immediately. ‘Kristen to Data.’

They waited for a response. Soon, there was one. ‘Data here. Are you alright, Kristen? Do you require assistance?’

‘I need to talk to you. Please can you come to my rooms?’

‘Of course. I am on my way. Data out.’

Deanna stood. ‘I’ll let you two talk alone. I’m going to be seeing some other patients before I meet with Lore.’ She went over to the doors. ‘Let me know if you need me. I’m always here to listen to you and support you, not just in a professional capacity but as your friend also.’

Kristen smiled again, grateful for those words. ‘Thank you, Deanna.’

The Counselor left and when the doors closed, Kristen got up and fetched herself another cup of coffee. Due to all that had occurred with Lore, she had barely tasted the cup she’d had earlier and so she was definitely ready for another one. She sat down with it, savoured the first few mouthfuls and then she drained the rest of it off. Just as she was putting the empty cup down on the floor, Data signalled to let her know he’d arrived and so she got up again to see him in.

‘Did something occur?’ he asked, apparently anticipating trouble, ‘are you okay?’

‘Sure, everything’s fine. Please come in. I want to talk to you.’

Data seemed unsure but he entered and followed her to her seating area. ‘Did you move your coffee table?’ he asked.

‘No, I broke it. It’s gone now. But don’t worry about that.’ She sat down and he joined her, a touch more alarmed than before because of what she’d just said but not enough to insist she explain what had happened. ‘I’ve called you here because I want to ask you to help me recover the rest of my memories. I’d like to go back to your lab so we can interface with one another again. I know you can help me. Will you help me?’

He considered what she was asking, his eyes moving subtly as he assessed the request, and then he looked to her again. ‘Given recent circumstances, I do not believe this is the right time,’ he replied.

‘Data, please. I’m like a half-finished puzzle at the moment and only you can give me the final pieces so I can become complete again. I need your help,’ she insisted.

‘I am willing to assist you in whatever way you require, but I sincerely believe that you need more time to heal before I interface with you again,’ he said.

With an annoyed sigh, she sat back and folded her arms. Kristen wasn’t sulking, but she was irritated. Data watched her, held in a controlled posture, and tilted his head when she sighed a second time and then rolled her eyes to the ceiling. 

‘Have I upset you?’ he asked.

‘It’s not you, it’s this situation. I know I was a little crazy yesterday and that the Captain had to retrieve me from the Jefferies network again. I know that must have been stressful for you and Deanna and especially for Picard, but just because I’m struggling it doesn’t mean I should be denied my rights. Those buried memories are my property and I want them rightfully returned to me. Those engrams are mine.’

Data didn’t say anything. 

Looking up at him, Kristen implored him with her eyes. ‘Everyone has been so kind and patient with me since I was returned to the ship. I appreciate how my situation has brought life on this vessel to a screeching halt and that I’ve caused drama and upset as I’ve struggled to make sense of what’s happened to me… but I need just one more favour. I need you to do this for me. As soon as I have all the facts, I’ll be complete and then I can try to return to the identity I left behind. Don’t you want that, Data? Don’t you want me to be who I was before?’

Emotion crossed his expression. ‘I want that more than you could believe,’ he replied.

‘So help me. Please.’

Data’s eyes became misty then and it wasn’t something Kristen had expected. She remembered how he had looked at her the night before in Engineering, how he had been searching her with his gaze, how he’d been unable to look away from her. 

_Even without the relevant engrams, I know that we shared something significant. I can see it on your face and in your eyes. What did we share? What did we lose?_

‘I can’t ask anyone else for this,’ she continued, her tone softer now, ‘I know that there’s nobody else who can connect to me like you can. Lore would do it, but there’s no way he’d be allowed to and I also don’t know that I can trust what he’d unlock and what he’d keep hidden. You can keep me safe at your lab whilst we connect and then you can give me my mind back. Please don’t deny me.’

Data took a breath. ‘I would like to help you, but… you would need a medical check first and I know already that Doctor Crusher would take your weight loss, lack of appetite and psychological distress into consideration. She would see that you are malnourished and depressed and she would deny the request until you are able to bear-’

‘When I was your Counselor, did I help you?’ she interrupted.

‘Immeasurably,’ he replied.

‘So return the favour. Help me. Please, please _help_ me.’

Dismayed, Data broke eye contact with her. ‘I will do so but only when I am convinced that you are well enough handle the knowledge you crave. I have to prioritise your wellbeing.’

Kristen unfolded her arms then. She sat up and faced him properly and then she reached out and took his hand. She wasn’t sure if it was to assert her needs even moreso or if it was because she simply wanted to unite them physically during this difficult and stressful conversation. Startled by what she’d done, Data looked to her once more, and then he curled his fingers around hers and squeezed her hand.

‘The other day you said to me that recalling my past is vital and I know that to be true,’ she said.

‘It is vital,’ he agreed, ‘but only when you are well enough to take it. Right now, you are unwell both physically and mentally. I am not refusing you this information. I am postponing the interface so that you will incur no further injury or stress. Do you understand my reasoning?’

‘I know you well enough to know you’re not trying to be dismissive,’ she conceded, ‘but how long must I wait in this surreal limbo? I’ve had enough of being two people. I want to be me again. I want to be the Kristen you used to know.’

Data continued to look at her and as she lost herself in those amber eyes, she felt a shift between them. At first she thought it was emotional but then she realised that it was nostalgia instead. 

Holding his hand, being close to him, both of those things were familiar in a way they had not been before. She’d experienced tactile contact with him a number of times since she’d stopped fighting his presence and had come to accept he wasn’t a threat, but this was different. She frowned a little and then she lifted her free hand and rested it on Data’s arm, holding him there. The expression he was wearing held much more than worry or the well-meaning care of a good friend. Kristen realised they must have been more than friends at some stage in their knowing of one another, for she felt a pull in her heart that was deeper than platonic.

‘If you’re going to insist on me waiting for my memories, than will just answer one question?’ she put to him.

Data was still gazing at her in that very specific, very telling way. ‘Of course.’

Kristen squeezed his hand. ‘What happened between us? Were we more than friends?’

At that, his eyes widened and then he did the last thing she expected. He let go of her hand, pulled her other hand from his arm and then he stood up. 

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

‘I cannot answer questions of that particular nature,’ he said.

Kristen stood up too. ‘Why the hell not?’

‘Because… because the Captain specifically asked me not to reveal certain aspects of your past. I cannot interface with you yet and nor can I give you the information locked within those engrams,’

‘You’ve pretty much confirmed what I asked you just by acting this way,’ she returned. She took a step towards him, not wanting his sudden distance, but Data stepped back and shook his head at her. He even held up a hand to fend her off. ‘Were we together, Data?’ she asked, ‘is that why Lore stole me away? Did he steal me away from you so he could get revenge? Is that what happened to me? To us?’

Hurt was exuding from Data in tangible waves. He didn’t say another word. There was one last look from him, one that was unblinking and all too indicative of his romantic feelings for her, and then he turned and left her quarters. The doors hushed shut and Kristen just stood there. She had gooseflesh all over her body, the hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end, and adrenaline was swirling in her bloodstream.

‘He didn’t confirm a thing, but I know we were together,’ she said to herself.

When she was able to, she went to her bedroom and then she sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands. She _knew_ that she and Data had been an item. Tenderness or love towards him was still suppressed by the missing pieces in her mind but at the same time, the nostalgia was rising and it matched her need for clarity in its intensity and weight. She had been denied access to that clarity by Deanna and by Data but Kristen swore to herself as she sat there and began to cry, that the following day she would have those engrams unlocked.

Either she would talk her friends and colleagues into helping her or she would get access to Data’s lab and she would find a way to unlock those memories herself.

*

The first therapy session that Lore received was not entirely productive. 

He had thought that he was ready to talk about his life and had even prepared himself for that but when he was sat in a chair and faced with Counselor Troi, his ability to talk seemed to dissolve into nothing. She had an altered disposition to before, was much more encouraging and warm, but Lore found it hard to express himself. They spent a long and fruitless hour together going around in maudlin circles and then she decided enough was enough and asked him to return to her the following day.

In his quarters, Lore asked the computer to tell him how Kristen was doing but was told he didn’t have the right authority to request such personal information and so he spent the rest of the night avoiding introspection and worrying about her instead. For an android, that many hours spent doing nothing should have felt like forever, but it passed alarmingly quickly. He seemed to sink into a chair, start fretting about his ex-pet and ongoing obsession and then he was being told his appointment with Troi was drawing near and then he was on his feet again and heading out.

He got to her office early and was waiting outside for her when she arrived. She looked a little flustered and he was concerned it was because something had happened to Kristen. When he asked her that, Troi shook her head. ‘No, it’s not Kris. She’s resting in her rooms,’ she explained.

‘Then why do you look vexed?’ he asked.

They went into the office. She replicated some hot chocolate and he took a seat. ‘It’s my Mother,’ she replied, ‘she’s not happy that Will and I have had to postpone our wedding. Unfortunately, she’s just going to have to centre herself and be patient because I’m going to be on this ship until I know for sure it’s the right time to leave.’

Lore nodded. ‘She sounds insufferable,’ he remarked.

Troi sat down at the other side of her desk. ‘I love her very much but she can be trying. Anyway, enough about my family problems. It’s time we talked about yours,’

‘You know how to cut to the chase, don’t you?’

‘We wasted our session yesterday. Today, I think we should attempt to work a little harder.’

He rested his foot on the base of her desk and used it to push himself backwards on his chair. Watching his therapist, he began to rock himself on that chair.

‘Talking about your family makes you uncomfortable,’ she observed.

‘Of course it does and you know why,’

‘Let’s talk about that.’

Lore felt that much of this had been covered and that it was tiresome going over old ground. ‘My creator screwed me up in a variety of ways and I’m estranged from my brother. That’s all there is to know. I have no interest in examining the fine details,’ 

‘You’re here to examine the fine details. Why don’t you talk to me about your early days on Omicron Theta? Do you have any positive memories of that period of your life?’

He thought about that, still rocking himself backwards and forwards subtly. ‘The only positive ones I have are set before I was forced to mingle with the colonists. When Soong and I were alone in his lab and working one-on-one, we had an agreeable relationship. He was quite supportive and understanding as I learned how to function properly. I do recall seeing him as a Father and feeling warmth for him. I did appreciate his company. We had some peaceful, happy times.’

She smiled. ‘I never got the chance to meet him. I would have liked the privilege.’

Lore snorted a laugh. ‘Privilege is not the word I would use… but then you’re seeing him as the genius cyberneticist who made Asimov’s dream of the positronic brain come true, not as a human being. He was just a man, you know. He wasn’t a God. He certainly thought he was a God when he was making Data and I in his image, but he wasn’t special. He was selfish and careless.’

Troi nodded, conceding to that. ‘What would you have changed about him?’

‘I would have made him consider my humanity more than tweaking the things about me that don’t matter,’ he replied, noticing how anxious he was becoming as they got more in-depth on this topic, ‘I would have made him think about what he put me through when he forced me to interact with the colonists. I felt like Frankenstein’s monster and was treated much how he was treated, not that I’m any sort of expert on literature. I know what it’s like to be an outcast right from the spark of your creation, though. I know exactly what it feels like to be ostracised, just because of the very nature of what you are,’

‘That must have been terribly hard for you,’

‘Do you always state the obvious like this? It’s annoying,’ he snapped.

She sipped her hot chocolate and then put the cup down. ‘I’m just being observant. Try not to take offence when I respond to the things you tell me. The last thing I want is to irritate you.’

Lore gave her a cold smile. ‘You want to know what I think would be a good idea?’

‘Of course, please tell me,’

‘That we skip over the cracks and faults in my personality and get to the diagnosis,’

‘Why would that be a good idea?’

‘Because when you’ve diagnosed me as psychotic or as a sociopath, you can stop asking me questions and we can cut to the chase even more. You can write me off as faulty equipment and then I can be left alone to worry about Kristen,’

‘Kristen is partially why you’re with me right now. She wants you to work on yourself and you said you would try for her.’

Lore felt a throb in his heart. ‘I’m incapable of forgetting, Counselor. If I intended to break that promise I wouldn’t have come to you yesterday and I wouldn’t be here now,’ he said.

‘You think you’re psychotic,’ she replied, getting back on topic, ‘what brought you to that conclusion?’

‘Oh, I don’t know… allowing the colonists to be devoured by the Crystalline Entity. Trying to enable the Entity to devour you and your colleagues when I visited the _Enterprise D._ Murdering Soong. What I did to those rogue Borg. The fact I tried to kill Data, more than once. What I did to Kristen and her colleagues… I could go on.’

Troi sipped more of her drink and then held it between her hands. ‘You have some psychotic traits, but not all of them,’ she told him.

‘Feel free to elaborate,’

‘I’ve known you to exhibit narcissism, delusions of grandeur, impulsivity, aggression, glib and superficial charm, pathological dishonesty, criminal versatility, callousness and poor behavioural control. You have a distinct lack of realistic long-term goals, you can be shockingly cold and you can also be parasitic in how you use others to benefit yourself,’

‘Stop, you flatter me too much,’

‘But I have also known you to feel remorse, to be in touch with your emotions in general and as far as I know, you’re not sexually promiscuous. You’re not Machiavellian. You’re not wholly psychotic, Lore, and you’re not evil. I also believe that now you have an ethical subroutine and someone who makes you aspire to be someone better that many of your negative traits can be aided and perhaps even healed. It won’t be easy for you, but you do stand a genuine chance at moving on from the bitter and nefarious person you used to be,’ Troi finished.

Lore rocked himself on the chair again, tension filling his whole body. ‘This is all good and well,’ he drawled, ‘but when Kristen finds out the truth about herself and my dear brother, she’s not going to want me anymore and then I’ll be alone again. I won’t have a reason to aspire to anything.’

Troi frowned at him. ‘You don’t know that she’ll reject you. I don’t know that either. What I do know is that you’re going to be undertaking an anger management course with me, that we’re going to continue to meet every day to talk about every single thing you’ve been through and we’re not going to stop working until I’m satisfied that you’re capable of carving out a life for yourself,’ she said.

‘Anger management?’ He laughed again, but his eyes were shaded. ‘That’s foolish… and when Kristen pushes me away, which I am quite sure she will, I am not going to _want_ a life. In fact, maybe it would be better to switch me off right now and have Data and LaForge dismantle me,’

‘You know that’s not going to happen,’

‘Of course not! When I want to live, you people take me apart. When I want to die, you force me to live,’ he snapped.

Troi watched him for a long moment. ‘Suicide, assisted or otherwise, is not an option. You might find that opening up to me and talking with honesty about your life is much less painful than fighting and being churlish. Try to relax. I can tell you feel threatened,’

‘Now that _is_ ridiculous. What the hell makes you think I feel threatened?’

‘Because you keep rocking yourself on that chair as a subconscious method of self-comfort,’ she said.

At that, Lore took his foot from the desk and sat up properly. 

‘I am truly surprised at your mindset,’ Troi added, ‘when I saw you with Kristen yesterday, I could see for myself and I could sense how much you want to earn her approval. Your attitude today does not reflect your true feelings. What are you really feeling, Lore?’

He tried to stare her down, but she was not intimidated at all. 

‘What is in your heart?’ she pushed, ‘what is underneath the evasiveness and the sarcasm and the desire to fight anything that might help you?’

‘I’m terrified,’ he admitted, ‘I am absolutely terrified that I’m going to lose Kristen. She was never mine to begin with, I never thought I might fall in love with her and now I have her and have shared so much of myself with her, I’m scared to death of trying to do anything, even living my life, without her presence. I need her. She’s the only woman I’ve ever truly loved.’

Troi’s eyes softened somewhat. ‘Then let’s make her proud of you,’ she replied.

‘You talk as though you want her to choose me over Data but I know the truth. You want her to be with Data again because that’s where she belongs,’ he said, cynicism in his tone.

‘I do believe that her place is with Data, yes, but it is also not my place to make that decision for her. What I know for certain is that if she does choose you, she should be with someone who is psychologically balanced, at peace with his past and worthy of her trust and love. As much as I care deeply for Data, and I do, it is not down to me to orchestrate what happens in his personal life, in yours or in Kristen’s. As your therapist, I am neutral in my personal opinions and I am not going to attempt to sway any of you in one direction or another. I want you to be rehabilitated from your criminal past for your own good and on the offchance that Kristen does want to continue to pursue a healthful relationship with you,’

‘But you said that you believe her place is with Data,’ he said, ‘that’s not neutral…’

‘And nor is it consequential. We are here to talk about you, Lore. We are here to better you and heal you and give you a second chance at life,’

‘I don’t deserve a second chance,’ he said, turning his gaze away from her.

‘Well, a second chance is what fate is providing you with,’ Troi replied, ‘so let’s rewind this conversation and go back to what we were saying about Doctor Soong. He is the root of many of your emotional issues and he is the best place to start.’

Lore knew she was right. He hated her for it, but couldn’t deny her accuracy. He turned his face to her again and raised his eyebrows. ‘What do you want me to tell you?’

‘I want you to tell me how he made you feel when he insisted on you mingling with the colonists,’ she advised.

‘Alright,’ he said. He took a deep breath and then he released it, forcing himself to stay calm. ‘He made me feel as though my opinions didn’t matter and as though he didn’t care about what I was going through. He was oblivious to how difficult things became for me. It was as though he wanted to show off his creation instead of truly helping me to integrate.’

Troi nodded and then she turned on her computer so she could make notes. ‘Go on,’ she encouraged.

And Lore did. 

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Thanks for the extra feedback, guys. Please, please keep it coming :) xx


	41. La Follia

Fourteen hours of sleep had proved to be just what Kristen needed. It wasn’t life-changing or even problem solving but when she woke up, she felt genuinely calm for the first time in a long time. 

She stayed in bed for a while before rising, wondering about dreams she’d had. There had been one very stressful one about running down an endless corridor on the ship, trying to get to Data. She could see him and he was extending his left hand towards her, but the faster she ran, the further away he seemed to be. He encouraged her to run more quickly before it was ‘too late’ but she just couldn’t get to him no matter how hard she tried. He faded into nothingness.

Another dream had been completely nonsensical. She and Captain Picard were working together in some mess hall kitchen and she was mad with him for stealing her sandwich. Awake and with food crossing her mind, Kristen remembered that she hadn’t eaten much more than a bowl of soup over the past several days, her stomach responded with a gurgle and then she got out of bed and went to the replicator at once. 

She asked the computer what kind of breakfast foods she had ordered before she’d left the ship and was told in a feminine monotone that she’d had a preference for something called a ‘pain au chocolat’ – served slightly warm and with a cup of coffee. Intrigued, Kristen ordered just that and then, upon sitting down and taking a small bite, she closed her eyes and hummed with pleasure. It was even more sublime when chased with a mouthful of coffee, the two flavours complimenting one another to perfection. 

Her appetite revived, she ordered two more of the viennoiseries and ate them slowly, savouring each one just as she had the first. Another cup of coffee later and she decided to take a shower. The hot water was also kind to her ravaged senses and she spent a long time in there, eyes closed as she enjoyed the silence and peace. 

The night before had been tough. Upsetting Data by asking them if they’d been an item had been tough. Crying herself to sleep, again, had been tough. Today would likely be tough also but Kristen was determined to find both the clarity and the answers she needed, no matter what. As she washed her hair, she began to think about the fact that she and Data been a couple. Last night, it had been far too difficult for her to truly consider what that meant, but she was awake now and had taken care of herself enough via sleep and food to be able to think and feel without obstruction.

She understood his behaviour now, why he’d been so concerned and aggrieved by her pain. His words, his attentiveness, even the way Data held her hands – it all made perfect sense. She paused in washing her hair as she considered what all of this must have put him through. Though entirely clueless as to the facts of their relationship, it was clear that he had strong feelings for her and that she had at one time felt the same way about him. Kristen had seen those feelings in his eyes over and over again, even if she’d only made true sense of them the day before. 

That she’d been stolen away from him and altered, only to return with his brother, _in love_ with his brother, someone he despised and had been hurt by in so many ways… she felt guilt strike her deeply as she tried to imagine how agonising this must have been for Data. How had he coped?

Out of the shower, she dried herself quickly and then re-plaited her hair before getting into some clean clothes and attaching the comm badge she’d been given. Her bond, complex and vital, to Lore was not broken at all but she was feeling a pull towards Data now that Kristen knew she couldn’t deny. He held all of the answers. He held the ability to give her all of the truths she needed. She wasn’t sure if she could ever see him as more than a friend, even though she was certain they had been together in the past, but then she had no idea how her buried memories would affect her emotions when they were unlocked. 

She thought of Lore before she left her quarters. She considered his side of the story – what he had told her about Data being the one who had always been prioritised, the one who had always had what Lore had wanted and needed, the one who had been loved by their creator and put first at all times. The stolen legs. The premature burial. None of this was lost on Kristen, but she knew Lore better than anyone and knew that as much as he was trying to change, he was still dishonest and liked to bend the truth. 

She needed to hear Data’s side of the story. She needed facts. She needed her memories back.

‘Kristen to Data,’ she said, tapping her comm badge.

There was a longer wait than usual. She pictured him, caught in discomfort wherever he was as he decided whether to respond to her not. But he did respond, eventually, and his tone was filled with trepidation instead of the usual concern. ‘Data here…’

‘Are you on duty?’ she asked.

‘Not at present. Can I assist you?’

‘You know we need to talk, Data.’

There was some silence. ‘Agreed. Would you like me to come to you?’

‘No, I’m going to come to you this time. Where are you?’

‘I am in my quarters, but… I do not think it would be appropriate for you to visit me here. I should come to you instead or we should meet somewhere neutral…’

‘Stay there. I’m on my way to you. Kristen out.’

She left her quarters immediately. The computer informed her where to go and so she was brisk in her turbolift journey and brisker still in walking the corridors of deck nine. 

Kristen wondered what his quarters were like, how much time she had spent in them before she’d left the _Enterprise_. Perhaps she had even lived there with Data. If they had been a couple then it seemed likely they had co-habited. What else had they shared? She knew she had been his therapist but how had they fallen in love? 

Again, she thought of Lore when love crossed her mind, but he and all of the conflicts he presented would have to wait for now. She had a mystery to resolve. She had her entire existence to figure out.

At Data’s quarters, she signalled her arrival and then waited. Again, he took his time. Kristen was more patient than usual today and she was also mindful of how he might be feeling. The facts of what connected them were yet to be uncovered but she still wanted to be gentle with him. He’d been nothing but kind and gentle with her and the least she could do was be mindful as to his potential suffering. 

The doors opened and he appeared, in uniform as always and with a cautious expression. ‘Greetings,’ he said, his tone matching the look on his face.

‘Hello,’ Kristen replied.

‘Would you mind if we went to TenForward or to the Arboretum or somewhere else? I am certain that you visiting me here is wrong,’

‘Why would it be wrong?’ 

‘There are reasons…’ He frowned then and sighed. ‘I cannot divulge the reasons because I told Captain Picard I would not… that I would not explain…’ He looked up at the corridor ceiling and then into her eyes. ‘I have reasons that are hard to convey. You must trust me on that.’

Kristen shrugged. ‘Data, come on… I just want to talk to you for a while and I really don’t want to go anywhere else. Please?’

Uncomfortable, he watched her for a long moment and then he finally gave in and moved out of the way so she could enter his rooms. Kristen looked around them briefly and then she waited for him to come to her side. ‘Would you like some coffee?’ he asked.

‘Yes, please,’ she said.

His rooms were similar to those she’d been allocated but they were larger and impressions of his life and personality were evident. There were paintings on the walls and an easel that held recent work was in the corner of the room. Shelves were here and there and they displayed books and ornaments, one of them made of curved glass, and she could also see service medals displayed in a box, items of apparel that seemed to come from some old-fashioned costume, poker chips and cards, a violin with a bow and a ball of wool.

_A ball of wool?_

‘Why do you have that?’ Kristen asked, as she walked to the shelves and picked up the item in question. It was pale yellow and soft in her hands.

Data turned to look at her, holding her coffee. ‘It is a toy for Spot. My cat.’

_Ah… Spot! I do have vague recollections of her…_

‘Where is she?’ she ventured, looking around.

‘Please take a seat and I will bring her to you,’ Data replied.

Kristen sat on the sofa, was handed her coffee and then she watched as he went through the partition and into the other room. She put her cup down and waited patiently, her eyes still taking in details of her surroundings. Data returned with a bundle of ginger fur in his arms and she smiled at the sight. He was as careful with his pet as he was with everything else he turned his attention to and she couldn’t help but note that intrinsic gentleness. Sitting by her side, Data stroked the cat and the sound of her purring filled the silence.

‘She’s so beautiful,’ Kristen said.

‘Do you remember her?’ Data asked.

‘Yes, but it’s hard to place. I feel as though I might have taken care of her for you at some point. Is that right?’

‘Yes, it is. Before we were…’ He stopped then and shook his head at himself. ‘A long time ago, you watched over her for me when I was absent from the ship.’

Kristen nodded. ‘Can I hold her?’

Data petted the cat a little more and then he slowly lifted her up and passed her over. Spot was in a sleepy mood and for some reason, Kristen knew that it was better that way because when she was alert she could be formidable when faced with someone she was unfamiliar with. Her fur had a salty, slightly buttery scent to it and she nuzzled her face into that scent as she cuddled her. Spot yawned and then she started to pad her paws on Kristen’s lap. She felt the prickling of her little claws but it wasn’t painful. 

Soon, she was curled up into a ball and asleep again. Kristen stroked her and sometimes rubbed the tips of her ears with her fingers.

‘What did you wish to discuss?’ Data asked.

Kristen looked up and faced him. ‘I want us to pick up from where we left off yesterday,’ she said.

He tried to maintain the eye contact they were sharing but he couldn’t. ‘When it was initially decided that I would interface with you and unlock your nested memories, I was told that certain factors should not be revealed until you were ready,’ he said.

‘Well, I’m ready,’ Kristen replied.

Data frowned. ‘I believe that a medical and psychiatric review would determine that far more accurately,’ he said.

She shook her head at him. ‘No. For once, I’m going to decide for myself. I don’t care if Captain Picard and Doctor Crusher and Counselor Troi made you _swear_ not to tell me the truth about you and I. I need to know and I deserve to know what happened in the past.’

He lifted his hand to touch his comm badge and as soon as Kristen realised what he was intending to do, she reached out and grasped his wrist to stop him. ‘I should call for assistance,’ he said.

‘ _No._ ’ Kristen pulled his hand away from his communicator. ‘Let’s keep this private, alright? If we shared a personal connection then I want it to stay that way. I’ve shared everything else I’ve got with the others but this should stay between you and I.’

Uncertainty was in his eyes when he looked at her but when she continued to look right back at him with total determination, Data relented. He dropped his arm and sat back in his seat. ‘If I injure you by taking part in a discussion of this nature, I will never forgive myself,’ he said, ‘and I fear that I will most certainly injure you if I add to your confusion and malaise. Protecting you and keeping you safe is and has always been of extreme importance to me. Your wellbeing is paramount to any other factor of my existence. It has been that way for a long time. It will never desist.’

Kristen felt a glow for him then. It was an ember of affection that was buried far deeper than her hidden memories. It was not a natural response to his altruistic personality, instead it was a flicker of genuine warmth and fondness. ‘I appreciate that and I thank you for it,’ she told him, in a calm tone, ‘but you know we need to talk about these things more specifically. You know it’s inevitable that I find out what we shared. Please tell me the truth, Data…’

He tilted his head and then he gave her another one of those looks. Those telling looks; amber eyes etched with devotion, lips parted with the need to speak intimate truths, caution in his posture as he tried to hold back. Data swallowed and then he laced his fingers in his lap. ‘What do you wish me to confirm?’

‘Were we more than friends?’ Kristen asked.

‘Yes,’ Data said.

‘Were we together? Were we in a relationship?’

‘Yes,’ 

‘Was it long-term?’

‘Yes,’

‘Did you love me? Did I love you?’

‘We were very much in love. I am still in love with you. That much can never change.’

Kristen lifted a hand to rub at her face as emotion welled up inside her.

_Truth. Finally._

*

Data was aware of how much trouble he could potentially be in for saying what he had just said. It was unprofessional and also wrong of him to further develop Kristen’s grasp on her true identity without the expressed permission of Captain Picard or the support of Troi and Crusher but in the here and now, he’d found himself unable to deny his beloved of what she needed. 

He understood her need to keep this discussion between the two of them and he also needed that. So much of what they shared had been exposed to his colleagues and friends and now, when they were alone and on the brink of a series of heart-rending epiphanies, it felt right to admit the truth when they were faced with one another and no-one else. Privacy had not been available to them since she had agreed to marry him and then had left the ship. That had been months ago. 

In the quarters they used to share as a couple, it felt so _right_ that he should confess the love they’d had. That love had been stolen, warped, destroyed, but Data could not remove himself from his responsibility to her, or from how much she meant and had always meant to him.

Kristen bit down on her lower lip. Her eyes closed and then opened again. ‘It makes sense to me,’ she whispered, ‘why Lore did what he did. Why he chose me. Why I was the only one to survive...’

Data wanted to shift closer to her but he daren’t. Every move, every word, every breath could either hurt or soothe her. He’d never been in love until he’d met Kristen, had never felt true agony or grief until he’d lost her, and now he was in the deep end of the tragedy that had shattered their marriage plans and he had no idea how to swim or stay afloat. All he could do was sit still and listen to what she had to say.

‘Lore took me away from you because he wanted to hurt you,’ she continued, ‘he was jealous of what you had and he wanted to hit you where it would hurt the most.’ Her crimson eyes became unfocused as she accepted all she had previously assumed. ‘He wanted to punish you… and so he took me away and he turned me into what I am now,’ 

‘That is correct,’ Data confirmed.

‘Whilst I was held captive on Terlina III… he got to know me and he developed feelings for me. That’s why he didn’t take me apart and send me back to you in pieces. Data… what did we lose?’

He clenched his teeth, an attempt to hold back the tears that threatened to pool in the corners of his eyes. ‘We lost one another,’ he replied, his voice tight with emotion.

Kristen stood up then. She still held Spot in her arms and Data watched her as she began to pace. It was painful for him to see her start to come undone again so soon. She’d appeared rested and calm when she’d come to him not so long ago but now their exchange was gaining depth, she was starting to lose her composure again and it showed in the way she moved. When Spot sensed that something was amiss, she awoke from her slumber and her green eyes blinked in wakefulness. 

Kristen crouched to set the cat down on the floor and then she watched as Spot darted off into the shadows. ‘I need you to take me to your lab,’ she said, eyebrows knitted.

Data had expected this. ‘I cannot,’ he replied, ‘what we have shared already goes beyond what I-’

‘Damn it.’ Kristen stood up again. ‘Will you _stop_ with the rules and regulations and orders, Data?! This isn’t about your professional commitments!’

‘I understand,’ he replied, also standing, ‘but…’

‘But _what?_ ’

‘The rules and regulations you wish to dismiss are there to safeguard you,’

‘I’m not some fragile fucking flower!’ she cried, throwing her hands up, ‘look how much I’ve been through already! I’m still here! I’m not broken! Why are you so convinced that giving me my memories back will destroy me? You told me it was vital that I recall my true self!’

‘It is vital,’ he agreed.

She moved closer to him and instinctively, he moved back. Data knew that if she touched him too much, came close enough to rattle him, that he’d submit to anything she desired. Orders were orders and he was professional as well as moved. He knew the difference between wrong and right and why certain rules had been set in place. But she had a power over him that went beyond career-driven promises or dedication to long-held loyalty. She, at one time, had known him more than anyone else ever had. In the engrams that were still untouched, secrets and passions remained. 

He daren’t touch upon those files without permission or support, not because he was rigidly devoted to duty but more because he was scared of how the truth could affect the both of them. How it could damage her.

Kristen put a hand to her face and then she dropped it again. ‘Data… please…’

‘I cannot proceed without input from Captain Picard,’

‘Like hell you can’t!’

‘He shares my concern. He understands why I need to protect you,’

‘Oh, _bloody hell._ ’ Kristen turned around, her back to him. ‘This is not about Picard! This is about you and I! This is about what Lore and what he and I share and what he did to me… and what he did that came between us. I am _not_ as fragile as you think I am! Stop treating me like a child!’

Data realised his breathing had quickened. What had been calm and polite before was now spiralling out of control and he knew his emotions were overriding his sensibility. ‘You _are_ fragile,’ he countered, still holding distance between them, ‘and you must be protected. You need to be held in a safe environment until you are truly ready to know all of the facts.’

She turned once again and her red eyes were blazing. ‘I’m not human, Data! I’m not some weak organic being. I can take more than you can possibly understand. I learn quickly and I assimilate information just as fast!’

He was nonplussed, overwhelmed, in pain.

‘I’ll prove it to you if I have to,’ Kristen said. 

She looked around the space they were standing in and then she marched over to the shelves that held his personal things. The reason he’d kept her waiting when she’d first signalled her arrival at his – their – quarters was because he’d been hiding her personal items but the objects on his shelves were his and his alone. They had been there for years and even when they’d moved in together she had never added to what he already had on display. 

Data stood his ground as she picked up his books and then let them fall to the ground. He didn’t much care when she tossed aside the hat and pipe that belonged to his Sherlock Holmes costume. Nor was he affected when Kristen grabbed the glass sculpture that Jenna D’Sora had given him and let it join the other items on the floor, broken in two jagged pieces that glistened in ruin. 

What startled him was her picking up his violin and the bow that came with it. When she lifted it, she was sure and certain and when she put the instrument to her shoulder it was with the control and knowledge of any practised musician. She looked into his eyes and then she moved the bow over the strings, her fingers pressing and wavering as notes were conjured. A look of subtle consternation passed over her and then she assessed the violin, turning the pegs this way and that until it was suitably tuned. 

Data had not played since she had left the ship, not since the Chopin concert where he had announced their engagement and dedicated the performance to her and their union. He had not left his instrument out of tune, but Kristen seemed to desire a specific pitch as she corrected the pegs. He could not understand how she could know how to adjust a violin to perfect sound. In the soft and sacred days of their romance, she had not been musical at all. She had not known how to play _any_ musical instrument. He had been the musician and she had been the enthusiastic spectator when she had listened to him rehearse or take part in a concert. 

Her red eyes were still boring into his. When the violin was tuned to her satisfaction, she put it to her shoulder again and struck the bow over the strings with grace and poise.

The harmonic structure was ideal. 

It was La Follia in the exact style of Arcangelo Corelli. 

Beautiful waves of baroque music filled Data’s quarters and he was held still as they washed over him. Her fingerwork was entrancing, as was the fact that she knew so surely how to stroke the bow over the strings and how to elicit emotion from the wood and the fibres that bound them. Her gaze remained on his as she played and as the piece intensified, he felt his heart clench and break over and over again.

Her body was controlled as she performed and her elbow arced swiftly. The way she stood was balanced and as her fingers continued to press and waver, he realised he was glad that the ship’s security channels would be recording all of this so he could listen to it again in her absence. He would want to make sure it had truly happened instead of being some strange dream and also, the music was so gorgeous in its anguish, it was filled with soul and was a performance of such fire that it deserved to be kept. 

Data stayed motionless, rapt with attention, until she had played her way throughout the entire piece. The final notes made him shiver, not that he showed it. It was a cascade of internal trembles that he could hide just as much as his desire to give in and help her in the way she needed. Kristen lowered the bow from the violin and then she simply stood there and stared at him.

‘That was… astonishing,’ he managed to say.

‘I didn’t do that for a review,’ she said, ‘I did that to show you that I’m not weak, that I can learn quickly and absorb information just as fast as you can,’

‘I could never play like that,’ he told her.

‘Data…’ She sighed and dropped both the violin and the bow to the ground. They clattered at her feet and she dropped her gaze too, clearly even more upset than before. He moved over to her then and she looked up at him again at once, features contorted with frustration. ‘Data, please… won’t you at least think about taking me to your lab? Please?’

Knowing he needed to do _something_ , he took her hand and then he led her back to where they had been sitting before and gently guided her back onto the sofa. By her side, he kept hold of her hand. She’d been a hurricane of emotion just now – hurricane Kristen – and Data knew he needed to calm her down, steady her, and talk to her some more. He needed more time also. She squeezed his hand in hers and then she took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. Then she sat back and tilted her head as she considered him.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

‘No,’ she replied, ‘are you?’

‘I do not believe that I am. I have not been alright since you left the ship,’ he told her.

‘I’m sorry for the times I was cruel to you,’ she said, ‘for when I ordered you to stay away from me and leave me alone. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you to cope with. I’m very grateful for how kind you’ve been. I think you might be the most patient person I’ve ever known. How have you managed this situation without going mad?’

Data rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. These words from her were gifts. ‘I have managed to be professional when on duty but in private, I have not coped at all times. I have been ordered not to use the holodeck for any purpose because I overrode the security controls so that I could create a program in there that would allow me to fight Lore and… kill him… repeatedly. I have grieved, suffered, cried…’

‘I wish I could make it better. I wish I could solve everything for everyone… that you would be alright and that Lore would be too… that I could be my old self again and who both of you need me to be,’

‘It is unlikely that will ever be possible,’ Data told her.

‘Then where do we go from here?’ she asked, eyes shining with unshed tears.

‘I do not have the answers,’ he replied.

She let go of his hand and then she moved closer to him. Data burned to pull her into his arms and hold her but that much remained inappropriate. ‘Will you tell me more about… us?’ she asked.

‘What would be the purpose? You have no memories of what went before and I do not wish to further confuse or pain you,’ he said.

‘I want to remember,’ she replied, one tear streaking down her cheek, ‘I want to know who you are and what we had. It’s not like I don’t feel anything for you, Data. I do feel a pull towards you and I need you to help me make sense of it. How did we fall in love? Did I fall in love with you first or was it mutual or… what happened? Please tell me.’

Data watched as another tear slipped down her cheek and at that he decided to take his breaking of the rules a little further. He’d already confirmed what Picard had asked him not to confirm so what did it matter now if he rounded out that truth with details? Surely it could make no difference. 

‘I fell in love with you first, he revealed, ‘when you were my therapist, I developed feelings for you. I told Geordi how I felt and he was sure it was misplaced affection but… I knew that I adored you. You and I almost shared a kiss when we were still working together in a professional capacity and that much had me know that there was something real developing between us.’

Kristen nodded. ‘Tell me more?’

‘For a time, you were involved with someone else. He did not treat you with respect. The situation was something of a mess. He was cheating on you… and whilst you were still officially attached to him, you and I shared a kiss in the Captain’s personal observation lounge. As time went on, it was revealed that your partner at the time was being disloyal to you and when it all fell apart, you came to me and stayed in my quarters,’

‘These quarters?’

‘Yes. Our friendship deepened and then when we began to work on a new mission together, not as therapist and patient but as equal colleagues, that friendship altered and the attraction we had felt for a long time began to develop further. You had moved on from your heartbreak and you were ready to give me a chance. There is much, much more to this story, Kristen. There was an accident and there were other complications. What matters is that we overcame every obstacle put between us and we became a couple.’ 

Kristen bit her lip again. 

‘If what I am telling you is hurting you, I need to know,’ Data said, ‘your wellbeing-’

‘Is of upmost important to you. I know, Data. I get it.’ Kristen gave him a troubled smile. ‘You took care of me in the past and you’re still taking care of me now. Did I take good care of you when I was your girlfriend?’

‘Our entire knowing of one another began with you taking care of me. I was your only patient. You helped me conquer my depression and helped me to understand my emotions. You helped me to move on from a broad variety of personal issues that had been deeply painful for me,’

‘What sort of issues?’

‘Grief, mainly,’ 

‘Please explain,’

‘Before I had my emotion chip installed, I had lost friends in the line of duty and one friend in particular had been very important to me. I also lost my daughter and my Father. When the chip was fitted and I was capable of feeling, a great deal of emotion overwhelmed me. You aided me in articulating my grief and overcoming it. You helped me constantly and you were an invaluable source of support and sympathy. All of this was before we were friends. When our friendship formed, I took care of you when needed and as time went on, we were there for one another. We were a team.’

Kristen took that in. ‘It sounds like what we had was special,’ she said, softly so.

Data couldn’t help but ache at that. She couldn’t recall the chaos of their earliest romantic exchanges, nor the exciting and beautiful stages of their falling in love. He wished she could and yet he also knew there was no need to wish for that because in just one session at his lab he could give her all of those memories. He was still sincerely worried about causing her mental stress and about disobeying Captain Picard but the more they talked, the more he could see the sense in what she needed and wanted him to do for her.

‘Did we live together, Data?’ she asked, wiping her eyes again.

‘Yes,’ he confirmed.

‘Are my personal things still here?’

‘They are stored in here, yes.’

Kristen got to her feet. ‘I’d like to see them. Please show me?’

‘I regret that I find it extremely difficult to deny you,’ he replied, as he also stood up.

‘Why would you regret that?’

‘Because I am unsure as to whether this will be to your detriment or not. As it is, I will let you see your things. They belong to you, after all.’

She followed him into the bedroom area and he stole a look at her as she sat down on the end of the bed. Data was careful in what he allowed her to see and stuck to only items of clothing, cosmetics, books and other items that were not particularly sentimental. He could have shown her photographs of her family or the roses he’d given her when he’d proposed, but he knew that wasn’t right. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Kristen didn’t recognise the things she was shown but she still appreciated him allowing her to see them. ‘Who painted the paintings on the walls?’ she asked, flipping through a psychology textbook.

‘Those are mine,’ Data replied, standing nearby as he watched her.

‘So I wasn’t a painter or an artist?’

He thought of her Father and how much he had pressured Kristen throughout her early life to be an artist instead of joining Starfleet. Data knew all about Randell Harper and how much of a negative influence he had been on Kristen’s life. ‘It was not something you were interested in pursuing,’ he replied.

‘You paint beautifully,’ she mused, still turning pages, ‘can I see more of your art?’

He then thought of the huge amount of paintings he’d made during her absence, the ones that he’d kept hidden beneath silvery cloth. When Data had still believed she was attending child psychology conferences on earth, he’d used art as a way to cope with how bereft he’d felt without her. They were only a few feet away from where they were right now and if his stories on their past had affected her, Data knew that those paintings would truly startle her given how obvious they were in their obsession and need. 

Taking his time, he wondered if he should let her see them and then he decided it was a terrible idea. She might be overwhelmed or she might start crying again or worse. 

The more he procrastinated in replying to her question, the more Data was affected by all that was occurring in general. Being with her, just the two of them, talking to her and reliving their past in quarters they’d lived a happy life in together was stirring in so many ways. His heart was calling out to her just as it always was and even though he was being calm and strictly platonic with her, for her own good and for his own sanity, he was secretly more vulnerable than even he could understand.

Kristen looked up from her book. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

‘Nothing,’ he replied, shaking his head. 

She sat there, on his bed… on _their_ bed, and Data felt his resolve weakening even more. Reading that confusion and neediness, she put the book down and then she assessed him with her crimson gaze. ‘You want to show me something,’ she said.

‘That is true… but I cannot,’ he replied. 

‘Why?’

‘Because… as always, there are reasons why certain elements of your past, our past, and what we shared must remain…’ He trailed off and then he closed his mouth as he watched her stand up from the bed and come over to him. 

Knowing her as he did, even this corrupted and abused version of the woman he loved, he was certain that none of her actions towards him tonight were because of manipulation. She was open in her requests and there was no part of her that was scheming or devious. All Kristen desired were facts and recovered memories and the affect she had on him was not her fault at all. She had not come here to play games with him, she had no interest in hurting him. Instead, she had been considerate and even grateful and apologetic at times.

She might have been violently emotional when playing his violin, but she was calmer now and all was level between them. Just because Data’s resolve was deteriorating, it didn’t mean she was to blame. It was the bond they shared that was responsible for his change of heart. It was the love he felt and would always feel for her that made him want to co-operate with her and give her the clarity she craved.

Data wondered if _he_ could be guilty of manipulation if he showed her those paintings. Would he be a bad person if he took their time together even further and proved to her how loved she was? How badly she had been missed when she’d been taken? He made a decision on that rather briskly and the decision was that it likely wasn’t the wisest course of action but after all they had been through and all that had come between them, it was at least one poignant touch of reality they surely both deserved.

‘If I show you more of my art, I have to ask you first to please try and see it only as evidence of what we shared in the past. I do not want you to see them as… as me trying to coerce you into loving me again,’ he said.

Kristen swallowed hard and then she moved a little closer to him. ‘I want to see anything you’re willing to show me, Data,’ she said, ‘if you can cope with it, that is…’

‘I am far more concerned by what you can cope with,’ he replied, once again longing to take hold of her.

‘Let’s see those paintings and we can cope with how they make us feel together,’ she replied.

*

Data pulled a large piece of silvery cloth away from the art he’d clearly been hiding and Kristen stood there, curious at first and then instantly startled. Her superhuman vision made it easy for her to count that there were fifty-three pieces in total; six of which were works-in-progress and forty-seven that were complete, and that all of them were intensely detailed and all portraits of herself. She daren’t look at him at first and so instead of facing him, she moved forwards and began to sort through the vast collection.

Herself – abstract and rendered in bright colour. Herself – in muted tones and with soft smiles and eyes that were the colour of espresso instead of blood. Herself – holding Spot and sleeping on the sofa. Herself – wearing diaphanous fabrics and with long, dark hair that was whipped by swirling winds. Herself – naked and kneeling, her gaze cast to the velvetine heavens. Herself – laughing, crying, quizzical or amused, in darkness and light, in joy and sadness, in sickness and in health.

Kristen considered the concept of ego and why she was so ridiculously flattered that she had been painted over and over again like this. Was she vain for being flattered or was the intention and meaning of these paintings hitting her in the heart as they had clearly been designed to? She hoped nobody else had seen these works, for if they had they would likely think Data mad with love and genuinely obsessed. She spent more time looking at them, marvelling over how much emotion Data had poured into their creation and then she took the silvery cloth herself and covered them once more.

When she turned around to face him, he looked embarrassed. He wasn’t capable of blushing but she knew that look on his face.

_Am I remembering again? Why do I feel this electric pull to him? Is it because I’m flattered or is it because the past is coming back to me even more now?_

_It’s not because of the flattery. I am touched by how loyal he is and how much he’s never wavered in his support of me and how much he cares… and it’s also because being here with him tonight has thrown me into the deepest pitch of nostalgia available to me without actually unlocking those remaining engrams. I know I used to live here. I know that the facts Data has given me tonight are the truth. I came here to ask him to take me to his lab, but… even without doing that, I’ve been afforded a grasp on my life I didn’t expect to receive._

_We were together. We were happy. I was so loved._

_I’m sorry, Lore. I still love you very much but… this isn’t just about you anymore. This is about all of us and what needs to be._

‘Don’t be embarrassed,’ Kristen said, ‘you should be proud of these pieces, not ashamed of them.’

Data stared down at the floor suddenly. ‘These paintings are obsessive…’ he murmured.

‘There’s no denying that. But they also show me how loved I was,’ she replied.

He managed to look her in the eye then. ‘You are still loved, Kristen. You were and will always be my beloved.’

She wished she could tell him he was loved in return but before she could do that, before she could allow her warmth for him to evolve into anything more, Kristen knew she needed the rest of the facts. Gaps remained in her mind and only an interface between them could replace what was missing. 

Moving over to him, she looked up into his amber eyes and took in all of the emotion they held. ‘Can I suggest something?’ she asked.

‘Anything,’ he replied.

‘If you’re still worried about what I can handle… and about rule-breaking and all of that, contact Picard and Crusher and Troi right now and ask them to meet us at your lab,’ she said.

‘Can you assure me that you will cope?’ he tested.

Kristen nodded at him, slowly and with determination. ‘Without the facts, I will only continue to suffer,’ she whispered, ‘I want my life back, Data. All of it. I want my memories. I want to be me… or at least as much of me as I’m capable of being…’

‘I want more than anything for you to be who you once were,’ he replied.

‘Are you ready for me to return to you?’ she put to him, as invested in his wellbeing and emotional security as he was in hers, ‘are you sure that _you’re_ prepared for this?’

Data bridged the distance between them and then he put his hands to hers and held both of them very gently. ‘Yes, I am prepared and I am ready… and I am sorry I have argued with you and made you wait for this. I apologise if I have hurt you by denying your requests. Caring for you has perhaps made me seem preoccupied with my duties to Starfleet but it is my feelings for you that have determined my decision-making. I love you. I want the best for you in all things.’

She squeezed his hands. ‘I need you to understand that I can have no idea what will come next for us, Data,’ she said, wanting to be as clear and honest as possible, ‘bringing all of my memories back might put us back to where we used to be, but also… I might continue to have strong feelings for Lore. I cannot make you any promises when I have no idea what’s coming my way. I can’t commit to you or to Lore either. I can’t predict the future. So please don’t hate me if I don’t instantly become the person you used to know. Please don’t judge me if I can’t… if I can’t fall in love with you again.’

He took a breath and then he released it slowly. ‘I have no expectations,’ he replied, ‘I just want you to be safe and healthy and content. Should you recall your feelings for me, I will be most fortunate, but if you cannot decide and cannot commit to me… or to him… then I will accept that… and I will still be here for you, in whatever way you need me to be.’

Kristen couldn’t help herself when she let go of his hands and then moved to put her arms around his neck. It was not a romantic embrace at all, but it was still filled with affection and gratitude. How she wished she could be two people; so she could love Data and love Lore too, but that was a miracle that could never occur. All she could do was be honest with both of these androids who had affected and changed her life so dramatically and try to be the best person she was able to be.

Data held her in return and she could feel his heartbeat racing. Not wanting to upset him, she gave him a warm squeeze and then she pulled back from the hug and took his hands again and held them tightly. He looked down at her without a smile, without a frown either, he was just focused on what they were sharing and as considerate as ever. 

Then, he released her hands and tapped his comm badge. ‘Data to Captain Picard.’

Chirrup. ‘Picard here. What do you need, Number One?’

‘I require your presence and the presences of Doctor Crusher and Counselor Troi in my cybernetics lab. I believe that the time has come for us to give Kristen the majority of her memories back.’

There was a long pause. ‘Is it not too soon for that?’ Picard asked.

‘No, Sir. I have spent a great deal of time with Kristen tonight and we have decided together that it is time to proceed. Please trust me on this, Captain.’

Another pause. ‘I have never not trusted you, Data. Give myself, Beverly and Deanna a little time to discuss this and then we shall meet you there. Picard out.’

 _Finally…_ Kristen thought, _finally, they’re going to help me in the way I need to be helped._

‘I have something I need to put to you,’ Data said, breaking her train of thought.

‘What is it?’ she asked.

‘I am willing to unlock every nested engram except for unit 24-E. What is buried in that file should remain buried and you must respect my reasoning on that. Do not try to persuade me, Kristen, because there is nothing you could say to me that would make me reconsider,’ he intoned.

Kristen was curious, worried even, about the fact that he was apparently taking Lore’s side on this particular stage of her rehabilitation but if there was something she couldn’t deny it was how much _both_ of them loved her and cared for her safety. ‘I don’t get it,’ she said, deciding not to tell Data that Lore too had asked her to leave that unit alone, ‘but I’ll co-operate and I won’t ask you about it, ever.'

Relieved, Data nodded and then took her hand again. ‘Thank you. Shall we go to my lab?’

‘Yes,’ Kristen replied, ‘let’s go right now.’

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Please let me know what you think. Feedback is why I do this :)


	42. Anamnesis

Upon being summoned to Captain Picard’s ready room, Counselor Troi told him she’d be there shortly and then she turned her eyes to her patient once again. 

Lore had been in the middle of talking to her about Ria and Dolan, how and why he’d manipulated them to serve his needs back when they’d all been together on Komos B, and did not look impressed by the interruption. They’d made some progress today, so much so that Troi had cancelled an appointment with another, less needy patient so that their time together could roll over into a double session. He’d vented and he’d listened to her opinions too. He’d been very honest about how his emotional problems had affected his decision making and though he’d rolled his eyes on occasion and had let slip an occasional sarcastic remark, Troi knew he was trying. 

‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, ‘we’ll have to wind this down now so I can see what the Captain needs. I’m not sure how long I’ll be, but when I’m free again I can contact you and we can resume this?’

He shrugged. ‘I suppose that would be alright. It’s not like I have anything better to do. Kristen hasn’t been in touch and I don’t have anyone else to talk to. I’ll go back to my quarters and I’ll wait.’

Troi stood up and gestured for him to do the same. ‘Yes, do that. You’ve done very well today, Lore. I know none of this is easy for you, but you’re applying yourself and it’s good to see.’

With a cynical smile he stood, considered her briefly and then he moved over to the doors. She followed him and then they were walking down the corridor together. ‘I imagine that Picard requires you because of something to do with Kristen. If you see her, please tell her I miss her, I care about her and that I’m thinking of her. All of this talking and psychiatry crap is for her, you know.’

Troi sensed an echo in his mind that though he was telling the truth about wanting to improve himself for Kristen, he was also appreciating the catharsis of receiving the undivided attention of a therapist who genuinely wanted to hear about his feelings. He’d never admit that, but she could sense it. 

‘If it’s appropriate for me to tell her those things, I will,’ she replied, ‘but if she’s struggling right now or is experiencing difficulties related to you or this situation, I won’t add to her depression. I know you can understand why, Lore.’

With a quick glance her way, his expression became serious. ‘How could it injure her to tell her I’m thinking of her?’

‘As I said, I will tell her that if I think it won’t hinder her.’

She came to the turbolift she needed to enter and without even a pause, an acknowledgement of what she’d just put to him or a farewell, Lore kept walking until he was gone from sight. Had she not needed to be elsewhere, Troi would have called after him but she knew she had to get on her way. Resolving to check in with him later as planned, she headed to the bridge.

Worf looked up at her when she arrived. He nodded to her, with a small smile that she returned, and then he continued whatever he was speaking to N’Dya about. There was a certain camaraderie in how they interacted and they were both relaxed – no tension in their body language or in the emotions she could read.

Troi was glad to see they were working better together these days for she’d heard rumours about them not seeing eye to eye since she’d returned to the _Enterprise_. Apparently, Worf had been a little overpowering with his advice on how to efficiently head the ship’s security staff and N’Dya, of course, hadn’t appreciated that. Now, it seemed they’d found some even ground and it was good to see. Troi might live on the _Titan_ but she would always care about the crew of this vessel. She would always want the best for them in every way. They were family.

Doctor Crusher had already arrived at the ready room and she and the Captain were discussing the matter at hand – Data had apparently asked them to come to his lab so they could oversee and help him in giving Kristen almost all of her nested memories back.

‘Data has asked me to trust me on this,’ Picard said, as Troi sat down, ‘and I do trust his insight. However, I could not proceed without asking your opinions first. Doctor Crusher believes that if Kristen is physically well enough that there is no good reason we shouldn’t give her what she needs. What do you think, Counselor?’

‘Hmm…’ Troi thought for a moment. ‘It’s quite hard to say without seeing her in person. I have suggested to her that she should wait until the end of the week at least,’

‘I know we’re waiting and waiting on the right time but if Data thinks she’s ready and has spent enough time with her today to know for sure, then I say we go for it,’ Crusher said.

‘We’re united on our motivation to make the right choices for her… and I cannot help but ponder the notion that Kristen might flourish with the memories she needs. It will put an end to her confusion, surely. Also, if she knows where her place is… if she can decide where her place is… she might cease careening around in the conduit systems of my ship whenever her hurt becomes too much,’ Picard said.

‘Or… knowing that she used to be engaged to Data might confuse and hurt her all the more and she might be torn apart trying to decide between Lore and him,’ Troi added.

Crusher and Picard exchanged a look. ‘She’ll choose Data,’ Crusher said, ‘of course she’ll choose Data. They were joined at the hip before all of this mess. They were besotted with each other. How _could_ she go back to Lore after everything he’s done to her?’

‘She loves him,’ Troi replied, ‘and it’s a real love. She’s found the ability to handle him without seeing him as a keeper and he’s working hard on improving himself. Choosing will not be easy for her. I know that we want her to go back to Data, but even if she does at first… those feelings she has for Lore will not snap out of existence. I am absolutely convinced of that.’

Picard sipped some of his tea and then he frowned. ‘Be that as it may, only Kristen can make the decision. Her personal life is not our business, no matter who we want her to gravitate towards,’

‘Yes,’ Crusher said, ‘that’s very true. I know we’re invested in this because we care about her and because we desperately want Data to regain the happiness he deserves, but this is her life and not ours.’

Putting his cup down, Picard stood. ‘Let’s go and see how they’re interacting right now. They’re waiting at his lab and are likely anticipating our permission for the interface.’

Troi and Crusher stood too. It didn’t take long for them to get to those they were discussing and by then Troi was truly curious to see how they were communicating and also what she could sense from Kristen on an emotional level. When they walked into the lab, she was already in place at the central platform and he was standing close to her. They were talking so privately that neither party noticed that they were no longer alone.

Picard looked to Troi. ‘What can you feel?’ he asked, keeping his tone quiet.

‘She knows that they were in a relationship. At some point, Data has confirmed that,’ she replied, it being the first thing she had sensed.

‘I asked him not to reveal that yet,’ he replied.

‘Again… it’s their business,’ Crusher added.

‘Kristen seems to have rested because she’s not tired. She’s not hungry either, so she must have eaten at some point today. She’s ready for her memories, more than ready actually, and she is also determined to devote more time to Data without pushing him away. In fact, there is no part of her that wants to push him away. She feels fondness towards him… warmth… familiarity… affection…’

‘That’s good enough for me,’ Picard said, and then he moved over to where they were standing. ‘Kristen, how are you feeling today?’

The young woman started in surprise, but then she faced him and smiled a little. ‘Hello, Captain. I feel better than I did the last time we saw one another. Thank you again for what you did,’

‘You’re welcome. Now, to the reason we’re all here. Are you ready to recall your true past in full?’

She nodded immediately. ‘Yes,’ she said, with conviction, ‘if you’ll permit it, I’d be grateful if you’d allow an interface between Data and I.’

Data was holding the cable already. ‘Kristen has slept for fourteen hours and she has eaten sufficiently. We have spoken at length and we both agree that she is prepared for this. There is one nested engram that will remain locked and Kristen understands why that must be so-’

Troi knew which one he was referring to – the one that held the memories of surgery without anaesthetic and the removal of her limbs and eyes, the one that when Data had accessed it, had made him sink to the floor in shock. She too approved the decision to leave it alone. There was no reason whatsoever why Kristen should relive such brutality. 

‘-And she has agreed to let us help her if the return of her memories is difficult in any way. I have also managed to get her to agree to receiving some nutritional supplements and a thorough check-up in sickbay once the procedure is over,’ Data continued, ‘I believe it is time to act. May I begin the interface?’

Troi watched his face, how eager he was. Then she looked to Kristen and sensed once again how she was prepared and open to what was coming her way. ‘I think it should be fine,’ she said.

Crusher nodded. ‘I agree.’

Picard looked between everyone in the lab and then he made the fateful decision. ‘Proceed, Number One,’ he said.

Data connected one end of the cable to Kristen’s cranial port and then he connected the other end to himself.

*

Watching her eyes, Data spoke to Kristen very softly. ‘Would you like me to power you down now? The information may take some to stabilise within your mind and it might be easier on you if you were unconscious. What would you prefer?’

‘I’d prefer to stay awake,’ she replied, reaching to take his hands again. ‘I’ve spent too much time asleep or daydreaming or thinking that fantasy was reality. I want to be aware of every single thing that’s happening. Just keep hold of my hands whilst you do what you have to do and I’m sure everything will be okay.’

Data laced his fingers through hers. ‘Please communicate to me any discomfort, confusion or difficulty you might encounter and I will either slow down the procedure or I will halt it. You will be aware of an odd sensation when each unit is unlocked and then the data stream will take a few minutes to be incorporated into what you already know,’

‘Okay, I understand. Stay with me, alright?’

‘Always,’

‘Ready when you are,’

‘Standby, Kristen. Processing… processing…’

She grimaced when he began to open the earliest files – all of those that held her childhood, adolescence, young adulthood and time at the academy. Data expected her to pull back or to ask for a moment or two to grow accustomed to the sensations he’d mentioned, but all she did was hold onto him more tightly and look into his eyes. 

Units 1-20 took several minutes to unlock and nobody in the lab said a word. 

When it was done, she released a long sigh. ‘Well, some things are making sense to me already,’ she said.

‘How so?’ Data asked.

She turned so she could speak to everyone at the same time. ‘My Father is Randell Harper,’ she said, ‘and our surname is not a coincidence,’

‘That’s right. But why is that relevant right now?’ Troi asked.

‘I’ll tell you why. You know that my Father is a technophobe… and that he and I do not speak because of the fact that…’ She steadied herself. ‘You all know that he has serious issues with artificial lifeforms and that we haven’t spoken since I told him about Data and I?’

Picard looked to Crusher. Troi nodded. ‘Yes. What is it, Kristen?’

She then recounted a story that Lore had told her. Data could not believe what he was hearing when she revealed that at one time, Randell Harper had been an acquaintance of Doctor Soong. In the lab on Terlina III, there were paintings that Randell Harper had created and she knew they were definitely his work because she had seen them for herself. 

Lore had told her that her Father and Doctor Soong had met a number of times on Omicron Theta and all had been well between them until one very specific day. Randell Harper had received payment from Soong for his work and when he was preparing to leave the planet to continue his journey through the galaxy, Lore had set upon him and had beaten him until the latinum was handed over. He’d robbed him and injured him so badly that he’d had broken fingers and some of his front teeth had been knocked out of his head.

‘My Father was wary of artificial life before that encounter,’ Kristen said, ‘but… what happened with Lore was enough to frighten him and torment him to the point of extreme paranoia. I always wondered why he was so adamant about his views, but I had put it down to his age. I had no idea that he had been through something like that,’

‘How does it make you feel about Lore?’ Crusher asked.

Kristen stared into space for a long moment. ‘When he told me the story, I had no idea who I was, let alone who my Father was. I couldn’t have made the link. Now that I can… I don’t know how to feel, Beverly. My Father has hurt me… and it may be Lore’s fault. Or at least partially his fault. I can’t process this right now. I need the rest of my memories,’

‘Are you sure you can handle it?’ Picard asked.

‘Yes.’ She looked up at Data again. ‘Please continue. I need this.’

Data was still shocked by the revelation. When he had first met Kristen, she’d been nervous around him and to such an extent that he’d even confronted her about it. To know now that part of the reason for the fear and paranoia that had been forced upon her since early childhood was due to Lore’s violent streak was astounding. He had known Kristen for such a long time and it was only now, right here and now, that he was getting the chance to figure out one of the first things he had ever learned about her personality. 

‘Data,’ Kristen said, squeezing his hands, ‘I need you to focus. We’ll deal with this stuff later, okay?’

He nodded. ‘Okay.’

Somehow he managed to concentrate and then he was unlocking more memory files and she was blinking or shivering at times as the information flooded her systems. 

‘I had such a wonderful life here,’ she said to herself, ‘I had it all… a career, friends, a good relationship with my brother Robert and his family, I had security and success and respect. I had love, so much love. We were engaged… we were going to get married…’

Data felt a pang at her vocalising that memory and when he saw she was smiling, just a little, it hit him straight in the heart. ‘You can now recall that I proposed,’ he said, ‘and that you accepted. Is it too much?’

‘Not at all.’ She smiled a little more. ‘A lot of the memories that are coming back to me are bittersweet but that one is… well, it’s healing. I remember it, Data. I remember the roses… the journey you took me on. It was perfect.’

Though he wanted to hold her, it wasn’t the right place or the right time. ‘Standby, Kristen. The following units will not be healing or even bittersweet. What you are about to remember will show you exactly how you were kidnapped and what happened to you on Terlina III before you were altered and made into a cyborg. This will be very difficult for you. I have seen these mental images already and so I know what you are about to face,’

‘Can I help?’ Troi asked, sounding anxious.

‘No,’ Data said, glancing her way, ‘please, Kristen… standby…’

She nodded. ‘Okay. I’m ready.’

*

Whatever was locked within unit 24-E was bound to be horrific, Kristen felt, because that was why Lore and Data refused to allow her access to it. But what she was seeing, feeling and remembering as the other alphabetical files within unit 24 were opened was so dark and torturous that she started to shake.

_Spiders on my face… starvation… the other officers screaming…_

_Pitch-blackness… Ria, altered, zombie-like, hissing and moaning…_

_The unusually sweet scent of a rotting body…_

_Madness, madness, madness…_

_Interrogations… death… pissing myself in sheer terror…_

_My fingernails, almost ripped away from their beds…_

_Lore’s unexpected humanity… or is just the madness?_

_Madness, madness, madness…_

Kristen pulled her hands away from Data’s hands and then she was putting them to her face. She could hear the others asking questions, could hear them coming closer to her, but the colour and noise in her mind was agony. All of the fantasies Lore had implanted within her were dissolved into nothingness and she finally gained some perspective, even if that perspective was burning her with unspeakable pain. She had lost her mind back then, when they were still at the lab, and she had been weak through the starvation and the torture. She’d been through hell.

‘Kristen,’ Data said, ‘we are almost done. Can you proceed?’

‘Yes,’ she gritted out, ‘just do it quickly. Get this over with, please!’

He did as she asked. Her reality was made solid then, finally, and she knew it all. She even had a vague idea of what was in unit 24-E. The other memories ended right before the surgery, right before _the abyss_ , and everything else picked up from when Lore had reactivated her as his childlike cyborg pet. Unit 24-E had to hold the details of her surgery. What else could be in there?

Realising she had clenched her eyes shut, she forced them open and looked at Data. ‘Is it done?’ she asked, still shaking where she stood.

Data answered that question by putting his hand to her head and removing the interface cable. She swayed forwards and backwards and then she felt movement behind her and knew that Captain Picard was holding her up. At her front, Data took the cable from his own access port and then he raced around to where Picard was. She was passed over and then she was being held up by her ex-lover instead.

_Lore ripped that ring off my finger and he crushed it… he broke everything…_

‘Let’s get her to sickbay,’ Crusher said, already at hand with a medical tricorder.

‘It’s fine,’ Kristen rasped, her legs like jelly, ‘I don’t need to go to sickbay… I just need to rest…’

‘Sickbay,’ Picard ordered, ‘now.’

Kristen’s head felt so heavy with information that all she could do was let it hang. Data shifted her in his arms and then he picked her up, bridal-style. Without further argument, she allowed her friends and colleagues to escort her out of the lab and then she was being rushed down a too-bright corridor and into a turbolift. 

* 

It was late in the day and sickbay was teeming with staff, as usual. Crusher told Data to carry Kristen into one of the private rooms near her office and as soon as he’d taken her in there, he laid her down on a medi-bed. 

She was mute by then and her eyes were glazed over. Though he knew that none of this was his fault, Data couldn’t help but feel guilty for what his beloved was going through. She knew it all now – except for the specific details of her surgery – and though reality was necessary, it was also merciless and the impact on her was plain to see. The only person to blame here was Lore and he was elsewhere, probably sulking, Data expected, probably thinking of himself and all of the injustices on his person he was so obsessed with.

Crusher took over, checking Kristen in a multitude of ways and Data stood back, not minding at all when Troi took first his arm and then his hand to show her support. He held her hand in return and when Picard looked to him with a frown, Data knew the Captain was consumed by worry. They all were.

Kristen managed to rest for a good half an hour and then, when Crusher determined that she was physically stable, she sat up and rubbed her face again. ‘You know,’ she said, ‘it’s really fine… I knew a lot of this already. I mean, I forgot about the spiders and about how a body smells when it’s decomposing, but… it’s in the past now, isn’t it?’

‘To you, it must feel like only yesterday that you went through those things,’ Troi ventured, in a gentle tone.

‘Sort of… but not.’

Data opened his mouth to offer some support but then Kristen began to giggle and it was a most disconcerting sound. Her eyes were as cold as winter but her giggle was girlish and entertained, like she’d just been told the punchline of some hilarious joke. 

‘She’s in shock,’ Crusher said, moving to put her hands to Kristen so she could aid her in lying down again.

‘No,’ Kristen said, pushing her away with cybernetic strength, ‘no, _she’s_ not in shock. _She_ is just making sense of what _she’s_ been through. You need to stop patronising me. I’m not weak! I’m not weak! I’m not _weak!_ ’

She jumped off the medi-bed and tried to take a few steps forward. Data let go of Troi’s hand and moved, wanting to catch her before she fell. Kristen shook her head at him, a warning, and so he held his position and watched helplessly as she tried to take a few more steps. Shaking as she moved, she sank down to the ground almost immediately and then started to laugh again. The laughter was shrill and cutting at first and then it changed into a series of dry, hacking sobs. 

‘I need to take her somewhere she can be comfortable,’ Data said, acting on the instinct he knew he should have trusted when she had first left the _Enterprise_ , ‘please may I be permitted to take her to my quarters?’

Captain Picard was grey in the face. ‘I think… that it would be for the best. Should you need any support, Number One…’

‘ _Please_ call on us, Data,’ Crusher said, also much paler than she usually was, ‘please let us know if there is anything at all we can do to help…’

Data nodded to them both and then he knelt down and once more gathered Kristen into his arms. As soon as he had a steady hold of her, her sobbing increased and she turned her face to his chest, clutching onto him in pain and grief. Troi was also crying. Data noted that tears were running down her face and that was the last sight he registered before he left the room and then left sickbay altogether.

*

Kristen was dizzy when Data eased her down onto the sofa. When she tried to focus, she knew where she was. These were not the quarters she’d been assigned since she’d been encouraged to break free from her servitude to Lore, these were the quarters she’d shared with Data since they had moved in together, so many months ago. They were the same quarters she’d been in earlier that day when she’d visited her fiancée and asked him to help her, to bring her to the awareness she was currently trying to handle. 

She understood now why he’d been uncertain, why he had wanted her to wait. But when would have been a good time for this? No matter how long she might have waited, it would have always been painful, would always have been devastating. There was no correct timing to learn that you’d been through hell and that the only reason you’d survived is because you’d been violated and brainwashed.

Data sat by her side and when she tried to sit up and reach for him, he guided her back down with gentle hands. ‘You should lie still,’ he said, ‘and please… no arguments, Kristen. You need to rest,’

‘I don’t want to lie down,’ she countered, ‘I need to be held. Please… hold me?’

The patience in his eyes was altered then by different drives and she could see the love there, could see the fact that her pain was his pain. It had always been this way for them. When Soshi had cheated on her and had disgraced her in public, when she had come running to Data for succour and kindness, he had cried because of how cruelly her heart had been broken. Kristen could remember that perfectly. She tried to sit up again and this time he didn’t hold her down. He put his hands to her waist and helped her move until she was held against him and her head was on his shoulder.

‘I can remember all of it, Data,’ she said, though slightly muffled by the fabric of his uniform, ‘I remember the first day we met, how we overcame my awkwardness and your depression, how we became friends. I remember that time we almost kissed…’

He didn’t say anything; he just kept his arms wrapped around her.

‘I wanted that kiss… and eventually, we got to share it, didn’t we? In that private observation lounge? It was the best, the sweetest kiss. I was scared of what it stood for… and I know I went to Soshi instead of you, but you were always the one, Data. I thought that I loved Soshi but I had no idea what love was. You taught me that. I had believed that because you were an android, you could only emulate human emotion instead of really feeling it. I fooled myself for so long, so long that I almost ruined any chance of us truly being together. But you taught me all about love and you cared for me like nobody else ever had. You were the one, Data. You were the one.’

He remained silent but he did move his mouth to her forehead so he could kiss her there very softly.

‘We went through so much, didn’t we?’ she continued, tears spilling from her crimson eyes, ‘we survived the accident on Loistros… and I know you didn’t accept Lore’s legs as a replacement for your own out of malevolent intention. It was the only option. I know you never meant him any harm, no matter what he said to try and convince me otherwise. We went through so much… our love was put to the test and we didn’t just overcome the obstacles put between us, we threw them down with passion and faith. You never, ever let me down. You put me first, over and over again. You stole my heart and then… I knew that your heart was my home.’

Data moved then and Kristen moved too so she could look at his face. ‘There is still much left to be seen,’ he said, very quietly, ‘right now, you are immersed in nostalgia. But as time goes on, you may remain conflicted over your loyalties. I need you to know that I still hold no expectations. You have been through so very much, Kristen. You have your memories back but you are not the woman you used to be. I remind you of this only so you know that I respect it. Do you understand?’

Kristen nodded. ‘I do. I understand. Thank you.’

He put a hand to the back of her head and then began to slowly stroke her hair. ‘It is a relief to know that you remember what we had now… all of it… the bad times and the good,’ he said.

She managed a fragile smile. ‘I remember our arguments and our sweeter, softer moments. I almost gave up my entire career to be with you, didn’t I?’

‘Yes.’ He nodded, still weaving his fingertips through her stripy hair. ‘But the matter was resolved and then… do you know what follows?’

‘Yes!’ She sat up some more, her face close to his. ‘We had shore leave on earth! We stayed with my brother and his family and we had the best time… and then we came back to the ship and…’

_We hadn’t had the chance to be intimate for weeks. We came back here and made up for lost time. Just under four hours of the most exquisite pleasure. Unity. Multiple ecstasies that shook me to my core. Impassioned words and endless kisses. Positions that made me ache in all the right places. Love bites. I got into a little bit of trouble because of those love bites, but they were so worth it…_

Data put both hands to her face and looked into her eyes. Kristen couldn’t stop smiling. ‘We had so much,’ she whispered, ‘I don’t want to lose it. I know you still love me…’ she said.

‘Yes, I do. Right now, we need to consider your needs. Everything else can be worked out in time,’ he replied, his thumb stroking gently over her lower lip. ‘You must eat to replenish yourself and then you should bathe and get some sleep. When you awaken, I will still be here.’

Kristen nodded. ‘I won’t argue,’ she said.

‘You will let me take care of you?’ he asked.

‘Yes. Of course I will.’

He leaned forward, kissed her forehead again, and then he took his hands from her face and helped her up from the sofa. Kristen followed him into the bathroom, willing to do whatever he wished.

*

Data insisted that Kristen bathe alone, so not the add to her confusion, and whilst she was soaking in water that was infused with her favourite vanilla oil, the one she used to love, he returned to the main body of his rooms and replicated her some food. Not sure what she would prefer, he ordered her some savoury options that were either hot or cold, some desserts, and some side dishes. He also replicated fruit juice, water and decaffeinated coffee with cream and sugar. 

Then it was time to wait for her to return to him and so he took a seat and also the opportunity to calm himself and process the events of the day. 

Really, there was not enough time to process the fact that Kristen had come to him as an angst-ridded stranger to herself and that she was now almost the woman he remembered from sweeter, simpler days. She was still a cyborg, still a broken version of _his_ Kristen, but she would forever be his beloved. He wished he had time to let all of this flow through him, time to let her too adjust to the massive shift in her mental state, but as it was Data knew he had to take each moment as it came to him and to them both.

They were not a couple, they were not betrothed or in the perfectly intimate situation they had once worked so hard to achieve, but they were connected and Data knew it. When she looked at him now it was not with unsure curiosity, it was with fond nostalgia and open affection. He was not deluding himself by accepting that Kristen was feeling at least some of what she used to feel – he could see it, hear it, feel it. 

Still, he couldn’t help but reflect on what she had revealed about Lore’s interactions with her Father. It was so unbelievably shocking that he knew it would always have repercussions on how he felt about Lore. 

There was still so much bad blood – semi-organic or otherwise – and knowing that his brother had infected Kristen’s upbringing to such a massive extent was hard to ignore. He and Lore would always be opposed, Data felt, and now he had more reasons for that than ever before. Lore had a hand in spoiling Kristen’s upbringing, her childhood, her life choices. He had beaten Randell Harper and had convinced him that artificial life was not to be trusted. Without those actions, Data knew that he and Kristen might have become a couple far sooner than they had.

_Unbelievable… and yet I must believe it. It is the shocking and unwelcome truth._

‘Data?’

He looked up from his reverie and saw her standing there, wrapped in a Starfleet-issue bath towel and nothing else. She was clean and glowing from the heat of the bath water. He could smell the vanilla from where he sat.

He stood up and gestured for her to come to him. When Kristen did, he settled her into a chair and then handed her some cutlery and a napkin. ‘You need to eat,’ he said.

‘I’m not very hungry,’ she replied.

‘Please,’ he said, ‘just have a little of whatever appeals to you and then you can rest for a while.’

Kristen worried her bottom lip with her teeth and then she looked over the food laid out before her and began to pick from one dish or another, eating carefully and with an obvious preference for the sweets and desserts he’d replicated. 

As he supervised her, she gained more of an appetite with every bite and was soon eating at a normal pace and concentrating on how nice it was to feel full instead of empty. She ate until she began to hiccup and at that, Data gave her some water to drink. Her eyes were dilated with exhaustion and so when she was hydrated, he took the glass from her hands and then he stood and asked her to do the same.

‘Is it time to sleep now?’ she asked, reaching for him.

Data took her hands and walked her through to his – their – bedroom. ‘Yes. You have had a very stressful day and the organic parts of what you are will benefit from some downtime,’ he replied.

She clambered onto the bed and collapsed against the pillows. ‘Will you bring Spot to me?’ she asked.

He felt another pang and carried that with him when he went to fetch the cat. Spot was happy to be settled into Kristen’s arms, to be stroked and held. Kristen’s eyes were shut even before Spot began purring. Data watched as the two of them snuggled in together and said nothing as Kristen fell asleep and then, his long-time feline companion did the same. He covered them with a blanket and though at first he felt he should leave them alone, he soon found that he couldn’t. 

Data didn’t want to leave them and saw no real reason why he should. 

*

Hours passed and when Kristen awoke, she knew it was the middle of the night. Spot was gone, had probably gone to seek food or some space elsewhere, and Data was gone too. She put her hand to where he had been sitting before and when she found warmth there, she knew he hadn’t been gone for long. He must have watched over her for hours. She sat up and realised she was still wrapped in the towel she’d grabbed after her bath. Everything that had been unlocked in her mind earlier returned to her than and for a few moments, she felt held in place by shock. 

_The one man on this ship that I felt connected to is not who I thought…_

_The man who I only just remembered to be my other half is taking care of me…_

_But who am I? Who do I need?_

Kristen lost herself in memories of Lore for a while. She wanted to grab hold of him and scream in his face for what he had done, not only to her but also to her Father. 

Even before she had been born, Lore had infected her life. He had so much to answer for but also, she had been given the opportunity over recent months to see him, the real him, to see beyond his evil. They had bonded and she had grown to understand what had made him what he was. There was hatred there in her reflections on his character and his deeds, but there was also sympathy. Her Father had judged her and left her life a long time ago and he no longer mattered. 

Lore was still here. He was on the ship, waiting for her, needing her.

_How can I forgive him? And how could I be yet another person to turn away from him and reject him? I don’t want to add to the chaos that defines him… but I also detest that he took so much from me…_

Kristen stood from the bed, knowing she needed to go to Data. Right now, she couldn’t handle Lore and how he made her feel. She wanted to connect with the man who defined her past, the man who had always loved her and protected her. The man she had once agreed to marry. She went to her wardrobe and changed into a grey dress – one of her favourites, she remembered, one she had often worn when off-duty and wanting to wear something comfortable and casual. Once dressed, she went to the lounge. 

Data was sitting on the sofa, not doing anything at all. When he saw her, he lifted his head and their eyes connected. ‘I did not expect you to wake so soon,’ he said.

‘I think I just needed a nap,’ Kristen replied. She moved over to him and sat down.

‘How do you feel?’ Data asked.

‘I don’t feel like two different people in the same body now,’ she said, ‘I know that the way I felt when I returned to the ship was an illusion. I feel like Kristen Harper.’

Data offered her a hand and she took it at once, relieved to feel his touch again. ‘That is because a wealth of information is still settling into your mind,’ he said, ‘you may not be two different people, but you are still burdened with two different identities.’

Kristen cocked her head. ‘I know…’ she said.

Some silence passed between them. She looked down at their conjoined hands and appreciated the difference in the colours of their skin. His was moongold and hers was peach. Her skin was the same bioplast sheeting as his, but Lore had opted to match the colouring to that of the rest of her body and so from the outside, she could be perceived as complete. Kristen knew the difference. Her torso was organic but her limbs were not. She could sense the melded joins at her shoulders and hips; where Lore had replaced her arms and legs with artificial parts.

‘You should return to bed soon,’ Data said.

‘I don’t want to,’ she replied, ‘I want to be here with you,’

‘The last thing I want is to impose any unwarranted sentimentality onto…’ He stopped speaking then and also looked down at their conjoined hands. ‘…Onto what we have already uncovered. You are in a difficult situation and if I were to add to that, I would feel intense guilt.’

Kristen felt sadness roll over her. ‘We’ve been apart for so long,’ she said.

‘And that distance should remain until you have had enough time to fully interpret what has occurred,’ he replied.

‘What if I go back to bed but you come with me?’ she suggested.

Data shook his head. ‘No. I cannot. I will not take advantage of you,’ he said.

‘I just want to be held…’

‘Kristen…’

She moved closer to him then, keeping a hold of his hand. ‘I want to be with you,’ she told him, ‘please don’t push me away. There is nothing you could say or do that would take advantage of me. You can’t take advantage of a person when they’re asking for what you want to give to them. When I look in your eyes, I can see so much… all of the pain and the grief and the loneliness… and all of the relief that I can now remember what we had… and all of the love you still feel for me…’

Data looked down at their hands again. ‘I have and will always love you,’ he said.

‘I still love you too, you know,’ she replied, meaning every word from the bottom of her heart, ‘and it’s not just nostalgia or me being confused or muddled. I love you so, so much.’

There was surprise in his gaze when he looked to her. ‘How can you know that so soon?’

‘Because the real me _never_ stopped loving you,’ she said, ‘I had my mind wiped clean and then I was brainwashed. But the real me, the me I am now, couldn’t feel any other way about you,’

‘And… you still love Lore,’ he returned, not with malice but with certainty.

‘Unfortunately, yes. I can’t lie to you about that. I can’t change that I got to know him, even when he was doing unspeakable things to me, and that I fell in love with him as time went on. Even he tried to fight what developed between us, but it happened anyway. I’m sorry that our lives have become so deeply entwined with his and that I can’t sever that connection,’

‘I am also sorry for that. I cannot understand how you can have any positive association with him, given what he did to you,’

‘I’d be lying if I said I understood it,’ Kristen replied, ‘because I don’t. Nothing much makes sense anymore but… as much as I do have feelings for him, I have strong feelings for you too. I love you. I love you so much it hurts my heart. That’s why I wish you’d hold me again. Or come to bed with me.’

Data didn’t say anything for a few moments. They sat there, just looking at each other. She gazed into those expressive, amber eyes she adored and he returned that gaze with a light frown and a mouth that was tilted just slightly in discomfort. 

‘Please come to bed with me?’ she asked.

‘I cannot,’

‘Then just hold me? You held me earlier…’

‘I know I did. I should have had more restraint. You need time,’

‘I don’t. I need _you,_ ’

‘I believe that you should return to bed on your own now, Kristen. We can re-assess our feelings tomorrow.’

Kristen did not know what else she could add to the conversation. She had asked him for nearness and he had rejected her, not because he was mean-spirited but because he loved her enough to think of her wellbeing, even when he was starved of affection and had been alone, without her, for months. That she had confirmed that she still loved Lore was painful but she would not lie to Data. He’d been through enough and hiding the truth from him would be wrong. She had told him she still loved him, which she very much did, and now she had run out of steam. 

In her heart there was love, in her head there were memories of her abduction that scorched her and in her soul there was a simple need to be comforted and held. 

When Data continued to keep his silence, Kristen let go of his hand. She decided to get up and go back to bed alone, as he had suggested. He needed time, clearly, and felt that she did too. She had tried to talk him round but it hadn’t worked. For now, respectful distance would prevail over anything deeper. Standing, she gave him a sad smile, said goodnight, and then she turned her back on him and walked out of the lounge.

As soon as she got to the bed, she sat down and then blinked back tears as she tried to fight how much she missed Data and longed for him to hold her again. He’d been close to her for the majority of the day and had held her too, but now he refused to and she felt empty in her neediness for his affection. 

Wiping her eyes, Kristen took a deep breath and then she drifted into nostalgia again. She remembered all of the times he’d held her in the past, all of the times he’d kissed her and had made love to her. Thinking of those intimate times did not help the sense of desolation she was carrying but she couldn’t help herself. She and Data had shared so much. They’d shared everything they possibly could and their relationship had been loving and sweet and filled with tenderness and romance. They had been soul mates.

To have that back, or even just a hint of it back, would be like a gift. Data treating her how he used to would be a blessing. But he wouldn’t. Whether she liked it or not, he just wouldn’t.

Mind made up on that, Kristen turned so that she could lie down on the bed and that was when she realised he was standing in the doorway. She was so surprised, she gasped. Data tilted his head in that way he had when he was considering something important and then he moved over to her and sat by her side. 

Kristen daren’t hope, but judging by the warmth in his eyes, it did seem as though he might have changed his mind. ‘Data?’ she asked, ‘I thought that you wanted us to-’ 

‘To hell with restraint,’ he cut in.

‘To hell with restraint?’ she echoed, bemused.

He gave her a small smile and then he leaned towards her, pulling her into his arms. Kristen closed her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder, her arms wrapping around his middle. They held onto one another tightly and she realised she could hear his heart racing again. He sometimes kissed the top of her head or the side of her face and it made Kristen smile. Maybe they should be taking this slowly but after all they’d been robbed of, it felt so right to slip back into how things had once been. 

She tilted her head back a little and rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him with fondness that filled her entire being. ‘I missed you so much,’ she whispered.

Data brushed some hair back from her eyes. ‘I could never find the words to describe how much I missed you,’ he replied, ‘I might have expressed that longing creatively, through the paintings I allowed you to see, but it did not help. Nothing could fill the void that consumed me when you were taken.’

Tears pooled in her eyes again. ‘I’m sorry I left… I should have stayed…’

‘You are not to blame and nor do you have anything to apologise for,’ he replied.

‘Please stay with me tonight,’ she said, ‘I can’t be alone and right now I don’t want anyone else but you,’

‘I will stay with you, Kristen, but-’

She was on his lap before he could finish that sentence. 

Surprised, Data kept his arms around her but did not say anything else. She looked into his eyes and when she very slowly began to smile at the comfort of his nearness, that smile was reflected on his face. A kiss was pressed to his cheek and then she was nuzzling her face into his neck and revelling in his warmth and clean scent. He held her close and she tried not think about where his thoughts had been going. Now was not the time for worry, not when they could be re-acquainting themselves with one another and making light out of dark conditions that had kept them apart for far too long.

His arms began to move and at first, Kristen worried that he was going to put her back down on the bed or otherwise hold her away from him, but he quelled her concern by adjusting the way they were sitting instead. Data had her sit on his lap more fully and when her legs were wrapped around him, he held her again and she once more looked into his eyes. 

An unwelcome thought crossed her mind – how, like Lore, Data had no idea how becoming he was. 

When Lore wasn’t putting up his defences and being a cocksure control-freak and ego monster, he was somehow more handsome than usual. In a relaxed state, he seemed to bloom and the kindness nobody else than her could believe existed in him made him infinitely more appealing. Data was much the same, not that he had a façade to drop or an attitude problem to abandon. When attuned with her, when he wasn’t worrying and insisting on over-thinking every moment of what they shared, he was softened in his resolve and that calmness accentuated his unassuming nature and good looks. 

Kristen banished Lore from her mind yet again, wishing he’d stay suppressed. But they were brothers, identical twin brothers, and when she looked into eyes of amber she saw citrine. When she looked into eyes of citrine she saw amber. 

_Enough,_ she told herself, _you’re not going to be able to choose and especially not tonight. There is still so much left to consider. Right now, you need to focus on this particular brother and all you both need. We’ve come this far and we’re on the same page. Let’s turn that page and see what we can heal._

‘You are confused,’ Data said, ‘what can I do to make you feel better?’

‘A kiss would be nice,’ she replied.

His gaze veered away from hers for a few seconds, there was a pause that made her nervous, and then he looked to her once more and touched his mouth to hers. Kristen melted against him and felt butterflies flap in her stomach. It was only a chaste kiss at first and she appreciated that patience. If this was going to go further, she knew that rushing or being too salacious too soon could be harmful. The kiss altered as he turned his head a little and when Kristen followed his lead, opening her mouth just a little, he lifted a hand and clasped the side of her face.

She pulled back then, needing to take a breath. Data rested his forehead to hers and they took a moment, processing feelings and thoughts. 

‘Oh God, I missed you,’ she whispered.

‘I missed you too… so much…’ he replied.

Kristen wanted to move in for another kiss but decided to let him lead this. Ever since she’d been taken from him, Data had had no choice in anything that truly mattered to him and nor had he been able to have any of her because of the illusions that had poisoned her mind. This was much more for him than it was for her, when it came down to it. She needed him badly, the comfort and safety of his closeness, but she knew that need was deeply reciprocated. He’d waited for months with the patience of the saint she knew him to be. 

‘May I kiss you again?’ he whispered.

She melted a little more at that sweet politeness. ‘I wish you would,’ she whispered back.

This time when he kissed her, it was open-mouthed from the start. The pace was slow and Kristen fell into the rhythm of it immediately, remembering so much more of how they used to do such things. She closed her eyes and her hands moved to the back of his neck, holding him there as his tongue greeted hers. Deepening the kiss, she licked his tongue in return. Data made the softest sound of enjoyment then and it made the butterflies in her stomach flap with tingling madness. 

_I fell in love with you so long ago… and underneath the mask I was forced to wear, I know those feelings remained. Now, I’m falling in love with you all over again…_

His hands moved to her lower back and when he started to rub her there, she matched that affection by tightening her legs around him. The kissing was getting deeper and so were her feelings and his too, she figured, or at least judging by the fact he was allowing this to happen at all. Gone were the hesitation and the worry. Desire and longing had overridden caution and now the past was greeting them both, guiding them back to familiar exchanges that were as sensual as they were filled with love.

Kristen opened her eyes for a second or two when he decided to lie back on the bed and take her with him. As soon as she had settled atop him, her legs braced at either side of his hips now and her hands clutching at the shoulders of his uniform, she smiled down at him with a hint of shyness. 

Data smiled back at her. ‘I love you, Kristen,’ he said.

She pushed some hair back from her face. ‘I love you too. I always will.’

And then they were kissing again, throwing themselves into it with knowing ease. Her eyes closed once more as he held her close and when he put his hands to the backs of her thighs and squeezed her there, she sidled her body against his, wanting him to know that it was okay, more than okay, that she wanted him to touch her, and that there would be no more rejection.

The kissing did not cease, not even when her dress was slowly pushed up and her backside was being grasped instead of her thighs. It did not cease, even when he turned her over and lay her down by his side so that he could rest himself between her legs and cover her body with his. 

The only thing that broke it was when she needed to see his face again so badly that she gently pushed his mouth away from hers and then gasped and stared up at him. Just the weight of him atop her was a sweet torture and when Data smiled at her and then leaned in to kiss and softly bite at the side of her throat, she moaned from the seat of her soul and then sank her teeth into her underlip.

Explorative touches followed; ones that centred in on aching, intimate places and then she was trying to wrestle him out of his uniform whilst he made short work of stripping off her dress. Underwear followed and then the covers beneath them became rumpled as he shifted her to the centre of the bed and drew that tempting mouth of his in warm, wet kisses over her breasts. 

Kristen sighed and then she moaned again, fisting her hands in his hair. When he sucked her breasts in turn she stayed still as the resulting pleasure glowed inside her. Her nipples stiffened in his mouth and the more he sucked them or nipped at them gently with his teeth, the more undone she felt. His hands stroked up her flanks and then she caught a flash of his yellow eyes before he started to work his way down her body, inch by inch, kiss by kiss. That affection made her tremble and though she was quieter now and had released his hair so he had freedom to move, she remained drunk on all they were sharing. It was as though time had stopped and all that existed was the two of them.

She closed her eyes when Data reached her stomach and then her hips. The core of her was begging for attention, especially following that bout of careful petting through her clothes, but he didn’t venture there just yet. Instead, he spread her thighs and turned his attention there; kissing them and biting them softly in such a way that made her grow hotter both inside and out. 

Another memory – when she had instructed him that love bites were allowed in some places but not in others. He had wanted to know where they were best suited and when she had said that private areas were fair game, he had bitten and sucked her thighs like this until she’d grown mad through all the teasing. How easily these things returned; these intimate enjoyments that made her want to cry tears of pleasure and need.

‘I remember this… specifically this…’ she whispered, unable to suppress a mischievous smile as she opened her eyes again, ‘you… this… us…’

Data held her inner thigh with a firm hand, sucked her there until the flesh tingled, and then he let go and kissed her there instead. She longed for him to move his mouth to the apex between her legs but it seemed he wasn’t going to rush such pursuits. They had the rest of the night, after all, and this was only the beginning of all they had to share. He knew almost too much about how to tease her. Really, she was glad he’d remembered how much she enjoyed this kind of play. Kristen could go all night like this – loving torment and foreplay that made her body writhe and her eyes turn dark with longing. 

Data moved back up her body and Kristen grasped at his upper arms and then his shoulders, entranced by the arousal on his face. ‘I hope that you will never again forget what we have shared,’ he told her, ‘and that no regret will follow what we are about to do.’

Kristen’s heart swelled for him, fit to burst with love. ‘No regret. Not ever,’ 

‘You are my beloved, Kristen. I love you with all that I am,’

She nodded, feeling those words touch her soul. ‘Kiss me again,’ she said.

Data leaned down, kissed her once, and then he pulled back to consider her. Kristen looked into his eyes and then she leaned up to kiss him again, her tongue sliding into his mouth. His words had made her hunger for their bodies to be joined immediately. It was even more important now than the games and the teasing; those things that could come later. She kept a tight hold of him to get that across and so he settled his arms at either side of her head and sank into her affection, just as he would soon sink into her body. 

They stayed still for a time, just kissing, just holding, just being together. 

Her hands roamed eventually and she stroked his shoulders and his arms and then they settled at the base of his back, her fingers pressing into his moongold flesh. Kristen broke their kiss and spread her thighs again. He’d been hard since their kisses had first gained depth but the time was right now. She needed him inside her. 

In a whisper she told him that. Her hips moved, inviting him in. Data tilted her head back with a gentle hand and kissed her, his tongue entering her mouth at the same time he used one slow and upward thrust to connect their bodies. Kristen gasped with pleasure as he filled her but the hush of her breath was silenced by the kiss.

_This is what I needed… this closeness, this love…_

_I love you, Data…_

_I love you…_

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Don't forget to feed your humble author with comments :) Thanks for reading. xx


	43. Trinity

Dawn came, not that it could brighten the darkness beyond the viewport windows of the ship. Lore was in a vile mood and had been for hours. His therapy that day had certainly been of use but since the early evening he’d been alone with only his thoughts for company. Due to the things he’d been discussing with Troi, many of those thoughts were uncomfortable and he had told her that before they’d parted in the corridor outside her office. 

She had told him that opening up was just part of the process – he shouldn’t expect to run before he could walk. Healing was a transition, not an immediate effect of talking about his issues. He would have to ‘work and work and then work some more’ before he’d be able to think of certain things without being twisted inside. His anger management therapy was also a slow process, or so he’d been informed.

Patience was available to him at times but not at all at others. Right now, it was wearing thinner than ever.

In his rooms, he throbbed inside over the knowledge that Kristen was with Data and had been practically all day and right through the night too. He’d not asked the computer to tell him that. Instead, he had used his heightened hearing abilities to listen to what was being said on other decks of the ship. Lore knew that she had been sighted with Data several times, that she’d been to his lab and then she’d gone to his quarters and then not come back out. They were joined at the hip again. They were together and he was alone.

He had promised to be patient, had intended to be patient too, but the fear was mingling with the vileness of his mood and that potent cocktail was what made him decide to take a walk about the ship to try and get some perspective. 

He _knew_ that Kristen was bound to be drawn to Data again, that Data would ‘help’ her with the unlocking of her memories and that their past would rise up and reunite them. What he feared the most was that she’d fall in love with him again. What hurt him was the knowledge that they’d spent so much time together and that she hadn’t contacted him, even to check in and see if he was okay. 

He could hazard guesses at what might be happening between them and he did just that as he strode down corridors and felt his pulse racing at an alarming rate. Even the thought of them holding hands was enough to make him grit his teeth with frustration. Possessiveness was stabbing him in the heart and he wished more than ever that he didn’t have that damned ethical subroutine. It would give him nothing more than supreme pleasure to take hold of his perfect, perfect brother and rip out his throat with his teeth. 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t fight in the way he wanted to and nor could he cope with the negative feedback loops that subroutine provided even at considering violence and revenge.

Knowing where Data’s quarters were, he tried to avoid them as he arrived at deck nine. Procrastinating, he paced up and down for over an hour, and then he gave up on trying to stay away and headed right to where he knew Kristen was hiding.

Lore did not signal that he was there. He fixed a stare on the door and then he stood against the opposite wall and folded his arms over his chest. Every part of him was sizzling with bitterness and hatred. He did not hate Kristen, could never hate that silly, wonderful girl, but he did hate his brother for once again taking what he wanted and needed so badly.

_She. Is. Mine._

Seconds ticked by and then minutes too. Ten minutes, twenty, forty-five.

He waited and waited, staring at the door as vitriol left a brimstone taste in his mouth. If he could see through those doors, he knew he’d see things that would break his heart. The right thing to do would be to walk away and work on his temper, on the facts of what he’d done to the woman he loved, but he just was not familiar with making the right choices, even now. He was blind with jealousy and he missed Kristen so much that it burned him inside. He couldn’t think straight and nor could he leave his vigil. 

Lore decided to wait for as long as it took for her to emerge and the moment she did, he was going to… well, that much was left to be seen. All he knew for certain was that he needed to be with her and even though his mood would likely hurt her, he’d rather have an argument with her than not be with her at all.

*

Disconcerting dreams, vague in imagery and darkened by dread, had Kristen start awake. She took a gulp of air, stared around where she was laid and then when she realised that she was not drifting in space or dismantled and stored on dusty shelves, she released a sigh of relief. She was still in bed with Data, somewhere warm and safe, and he was laid with her as he watched her push away those odd, subconscious visions. 

‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

‘Mmm.’ Kristen reached for him and he pulled her close, holding her to him with strong arms that gave security and love. ‘I’m still here,’ she said, not sure if to herself or to him.

‘You fell asleep two hours ago and I did not want to wake you,’ he replied.

She smiled contentedly then and nuzzled her face against his neck, remembering that she had in fact succumbed to exhaustion following their very physical trysts in the middle of the night. She hadn’t wanted to sleep when she could spend more time with him in such an enjoyable way but her body had needed it and he’d assured her he wouldn’t leave her and so she’d rested. 

For a while Kristen lay still as she was held, just enjoying the peacefulness, and then she moved herself so she could thread her legs between his and press a trail of kisses from his upper chest to his shoulder to his neck and then his ear. 

‘Nothing has changed,’ he said, in a wistful tone.

Kristen smiled and looked into his eyes. ‘I think you’ll find that almost everything has changed,’ she countered, ‘surely you noticed that I’m a cyborg?’

‘That is not what I was referring to,’ he replied.

‘What hasn’t changed?’ she asked, curious now.

‘You and I. The intimate times we share. I was unsure if it might be different… feel different… but all is how it used to be,’ Data said.

She was glad to hear him say that. She knew her body could never be returned to fully-human but that he felt they had recaptured one of the most vital elements of their shared past was healing. Of course, his sexual identity and needs hadn’t changed at all but Kristen had wondered if she was in any way different. Apparently not. She had remembered what moved him and what he preferred but more than that, the love between them was completely restored. 

That kind of love, true and definite, provided far more than nostalgia. It gave them both a sense of future too – even if that future was bound to be marred by complications as of yet unresolved.

‘Did it feel that way for you too?’ Data asked.

Kristen felt a deep rush of affection for him. ‘Yes, of course it did. If anything, it was better,’

‘Better?’ He looked unsure.

‘Because of how much I’ve missed you,’ she said, stroking the side of his face, ‘being with you again this way brings it all back but with more warmth and sweetness too. I could live like this, here with you. I think that my feelings for you would be more than enough to sustain me. That and… well, lots more time in bed. We have months to make up for.’

He gave her a small, handsome smile that made her feel impish. She moved her hand from his cheek to slide it under the covers and then she was running her fingers down his chest, playfully so. Data’s smile increased as she then changed direction and squeezed his hip. He leaned in to kiss her just as she started to pull at his flank, trying to guide him on top of her. He picked up on that silent suggestion and then he was settling himself between her legs and she was holding onto his back and wishing they had more time to play.

Knowing he’d have to get ready for duty soon was incredibly annoying. They had spent almost twenty-four hours together and it really wasn’t enough. He kissed her until she was breathy and her whole body was throbbing to be touched, hungry to be overwhelmed with bliss, and then he pulled back and they were gazing at one another intensely. 

‘You’re thinking that you need to wind this down before we get started,’ she said, with a hint of disappointment.

‘Unfortunately, yes,’ he replied, ‘however, it seems that we have most certainly set things in motion already,’

‘Mmm… yes…’

His eyelids were heavy with arousal, his expression softened with submission to their love. Kristen thought that he had never looked so gorgeous. Falling in love with him again was impossibly easy. She sidled her hips beneath him, loving the way he matched that movement with an encouraging thrust of his own, and then she leaned up to kiss him again. 

There was no resistance at all, even when lingering this way could potentially make him late for his responsibilities, and it felt like a blessing – even if he’d only give her a few more precious minutes. Beneath him, thrilled by the pressure between their bodies, Kristen pulled at his lower back and then her hands began to wander. One held onto him and the other stroked, not veering close to his on/off-switch, but circling that area with knowing precision.

Data broke the kiss and inhaled sharply. ‘You…’

‘Remembered that you’ve got a sweet spot down there,’ she said, ‘yes… I did.’

He swallowed, blinked very slowly, and then when she let her fingertips play some more he shivered to such a degree that she couldn’t help but bite her lower lip and giggle. When he reached to pull her hand away, she knew he wasn’t cross with her. Data was too turned on to be mad and smiling too lovingly to be anything but equally playful. He held her arms down, kissed her with depth and skill and then, just when she was thinking of begging him not to go, he pulled back and shook his head at her. 

Kristen knew not to ask. She knew it was time to let go now. It wouldn’t be forever, it would just be until he was off-duty.

He knelt back and then he was moving to sit on the side of the bed. Kristen sat up too, moving next to him and sliding under his arm so she could stay close. It was difficult keeping her hands off him for too long. He drew her closer and kissed the side of her head. ‘You may remain here whilst I am absent if you wish to,’ he said, amber eyes turning to hers of scarlet.

‘I want to…’ she replied, ‘but it might be better if I go back to my own quarters for now,’

‘Why?’

‘Because Deanna might want to see me. I also wouldn’t mind a bath and maybe some more sleep,’

‘You could sleep here,’ he replied.

‘I know I could,’ she said, smiling a little.

Data kissed her head again. ‘You require some time in a neutral environment to process what has occurred between us,’ he said.

‘That’s partially it, yes.’ She lifted her arms to put them around his neck. ‘How about I go to get some rest and later, when you’re not on-duty, I come back so we can spend more time together?’

‘I would like that very much,’ he said.

Kristen leaned in to give him another kiss, a reassuring one on the mouth, and then she pulled back to smile at him. ‘I love you and I’m not going to let anything come between us again,’

‘It was not your fault that a rift was put between us in the first place,’ he said, and then he was kissing her back and she was holding his face.

Appeased by her affection and selflessly understanding, Data let the subject go once the kissing was over. She teased him good-naturedly about how mussed his hair was and when they’d laughed about it some, she helped him arrange it back to its usual style. Due to the fact it was her hands that had pulled and stroked at it to the point of disarray, she felt it was her duty to brush it back and ensure he was presentable for duty. He mentioned that he could walk her to her rooms once he was in uniform, but Kristen declined the offer, kissed him again and then again, and thanked him for being so unfailingly sweet.

She asked him to pass over her clothes and when he’d done so, she got back into them with more than a little reluctance. She stayed to talk with him a little longer, just so he knew for sure that what they’d shared had meant the world to her and that she was deeply glad that they’d found one another again, and then Kristen left Data to prepare for his day shift and made her way from the bedroom and into the lounge.

She paused by the sofa to give Spot a stroke and a kiss and then she righted herself and stood still for a moment, basking in the relief she felt that she and Data were fully connected again. She loved him madly and was eager to spend more time with him. She wanted to see him, talk to him, touch him and kiss him every single day from now on. She smiled to herself, exhaled a contented sigh and then she turned and sauntered through the doors and out into the corridor.

Lore was slouching against the wall, right outside. He glared at her and gave her an acidic smile. 

‘Lore,’ she said, halting where she stood.

‘Indeed.’ He raised his eyebrows. She found it hard to look him in the eye but she did so all the same. He stood up straight and then he came over to her. ‘So,’ he said, still smiling in that way that made her feel so uncomfortable, ‘you’re finally done fucking my brother.’

Kristen winced. ‘Must you be so vicious?’ she asked.

Lore took her arm and then he started to walk her down the corridor, his fingers digging into her skin and his pace brisk and fuelled by obvious wrath. ‘You’re coming with me,’ he snapped, ‘we need to talk. Right now.’

*

Not a word was exchanged during their journey. Lore had a thousand things he wanted to say and wanted to ask, but was not about to do it where they could be overheard. People passing them on the way gave them curious, sometimes concerned looks, but he ignored that just as much as he ignored the expression that had overtaken Kristen’s face. Her surprise at finding him waiting for her had gone and now she was openly annoyed. Her jaw was set and her eyes were simmering with anger.

At his quarters, he pulled her inside and when the doors had closed, he turned to face her. Kristen was glaring at him already. ‘How could you do this to me?’ he snarled, ‘after everything we’ve been through? After how close we have become? I thought I’d known betrayal in the past, but this is too much! You have one hell of a lot of explaining to do!’

She continued to stare at him and then she pulled her arm from his grasp. ‘I don’t know how you can-’

‘My brother!’ he yelled, eyes flashing, ‘you’re knocking off my _brother_ behind my back! Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out when you didn’t come to me?! Did you think I wouldn’t react to this or feel anything?’ 

‘I’m not-’

‘Last time we were together, I told you how scared I was. I let you see just how vulnerable what we have has made me… and what do you go and do the moment you get the chance? You go to Data and you let him mess around with you and then you spend a full day and a night with him! You have betrayed me! You’re just like the others!’

‘Will you let me-’

‘ _I trusted you,_ ’ he fumed, ‘I believed in you, Kristen! I’m in _therapy_ right now and it’s all because I’m trying to better myself and be good enough for you! But what is the point in me making that kind of effort when you’re stabbing me in the back?! I cannot believe that you’re choosing _him_ over _me!_ You know what he did to me, what he took, and now you’re running back to him! You’re weak! You’re selfish!’

Kristen opened her mouth to try and argue again. ‘Will you let me sp-’

‘You’re not the person I thought you were!’ he yelled, ‘I had it in my head and in my heart that you’re kind and sweet and decent but you’re a _whore!_ ’

At that, she drew back her hand and then she slapped him hard across the face. Had a human hand hit him that way he wouldn’t have felt a thing, but Kristen had power in her arms that almost matched his own. He staggered backwards and then instinctively put a palm to his face. Internal sensors whirred, registering the slap, and when he was informed that he had incurred no injury, he looked to her again and blinked in shock.

‘You deserved that,’ she said.

Lore took a breath, realising he was shaking. ‘You deserved everything I just said,’ he returned.

‘You think I’m a whore?’ she asked, hurt glimmering in those angry eyes.

He dropped his hand from his face and looked away from her. ‘No, I don’t think you’re a whore. I know you’re not. But, Kristen… why did you have to go back to Data? Can you imagine how that makes me feel?’

‘You should know that I have all of my memories back now. I can remember every single detail about my childhood, my adolescence, my life before Starfleet, my education, my time on this ship _and_ the truth about Data and I. I know that you kidnapped me, with Soshi’s help. I know that you starved me and tortured me. You tied me up, tethered me in a cell and terrorised me. You killed my friends and manipulated me in every way you possibly could! You _used_ me, stole my life, broke everything I held dear and the abuse goes even further back than that, doesn’t it?’

‘What do you mean?’ he asked, daring to look back at her.

‘That story you told me about Randell Harper and Doctor Soong and the paintings,’

‘Yeah? And?’

‘Randell Harper is my Father. What you did to him… when you beat him and broke his fingers and knocked out his teeth… that infected _huge_ parts of my childhood! The terror you instilled in him about artificial life poisoned my youth and then it carried over and became… well, it was practically a phobia! You have had a hand in ruining my life and holding me back since even before I was born!’

Lore felt shame burn inside him but he couldn’t quite work out how to translate the feeling into actions or words that might convey his regret. 

‘And as for you feeling jealousy over me spending time with Data!’ She threw her hands up, exasperated. ‘Do you even _think_ before you start feeling sorry for yourself? Have you even _considered_ the fact that I was Data’s first? You claim ownership over me like I’m a thing instead of a living, breathing person and you are so bitter that you allow yourself to be blinded by your own selfishness! Me returning to Data, in whichever way I choose, is right. It’s _right_ and it also has nothing to do with you!’ 

‘You said that you loved me. That alone makes it my business,’ he bit.

‘Data and I were together, Lore. We were engaged. Before you paid Soshi to kidnap me from Deep Space 9 and bring me to your creator’s lab, he and I were planning a wedding. We were in love! Does that not resonate with you at all?’ she demanded.

The shame heated up and grew into anger. ‘Of course it does,’ he snapped, ‘why do you think all of this happened in the first place? As soon as I was told that my precious, perfect angel of a brother had fitted that emotion chip and had fallen in love, I knew what I had to do. The very moment that he knew you were the one he wanted to be with, he should have taken you away and hidden you, even changed your name, because it would have been the only way to keep you safe from me. You were a target right from the _second_ he fell for you. He was careless and stupid to not think of that… and so really, you should be blaming him for this as much as myself.’

Aghast, Kristen shook her head. ‘You are the most toxic, twisted individual I have ever had the displeasure of meeting,’ she said, her tone amazed.

‘Yeah, I’m a real piece of work,’ he returned, knowing it to be the truth.

She rubbed her temples with her fingers and then she stared down at the floor for a while. Even from here, he could hear her heart pounding with stress. ‘I made it clear to you when we last spoke that I intended to ask Data to aid me in getting my memories back. You must have known what that would lead to,’ she said.

‘Of course I did. That’s why I told you then that I knew you would reject me,’

‘Then how can you be so cruel to me? How can you call me a whore if you _knew_ that I would recall my true place? Data is _not_ to blame for what you did and nor am I. All of this… this _mess_ … that has injured us all and brought so much agony and confusion is _your_ fault and that’s all there is to it. If you’re going to hate me for remembering my true feelings, then it’s clear to me that you don’t genuinely care for me at all,’ 

‘You’re wrong. I do care for you,’

‘No. You only care for the version of me that you created, the one you operated on and tortured. You don’t love me, Lore. You think only of yourself.’

_I do love you. I love you… I love you too much…_

He willed himself to tell her the truth, to say those three vital words that she needed to hear, but it was still too difficult. ‘I don’t think only of myself,’ he managed to say, his tone tight with anxiety, ‘and I can’t make you believe that. If you could just trust me, Kristen…’

‘Trust you?’ She laughed. ‘You have infected my whole _life_ with pain, Lore!’

‘I know that. I know. But there are different versions of me too, alright? When I attacked your Father… I was in a terrible place. It doesn’t excuse what I did, but it does partially explain the way I acted. I can’t make excuses for brutalising him… I can’t and I won’t… but you’re the only person who has ever known the real me. You _know_ me. You know my true story, the places I’ve been, what has occurred to make me into what I became. I’m not the person I was back then and nor am I the person who kidnapped you and… changed you. I will always hate Data but… I do know the difference between right and wrong now. I do,’ he pleaded.

‘If you got just one chance to remove that ethical subroutine you would do it,’ she said, ‘you’d get rid of your morals and then you’d wreak havoc all over again. You’d get your revenge on Data and then you’d kidnap me again and overtake this ship until you were able to escape. You would attack and kill without hesitation and you’d drag me down with you. Tell me that’s not the truth.’

Lore wavered over those words. She was precisely correct in all she said, save for one thing. He knew that it was the ethical subroutine that provided him the opportunity to change. He had, even only an hour or so ago, wished to remove it and for the chance to do as she had just suggested, but in the light of all that was occurring right now he knew he would destroy her and himself all over again if he were to do it. 

If he was truly given the chance to uninstall the subroutine, he wouldn’t. He’d be tempted to but he knew it would force history back into an ever-looping circle. There had to be a break in the madness, somewhere. Lore hated the guilt he carried but he also knew it was necessary. He was trying. He was changing. He wanted more of a life than what he’d had before – a directionless pursuit of vengeance and violence that brought him nothing but emptiness inside and the anger and mistrust of people who cared. People like Kristen Harper.

‘I would be tempted to remove it,’ he told her, ‘but I wouldn’t.’

She screwed up her face in cynicism. ‘You are chaos personified, Lore. You know it and I know it. If you were given the opportunity to get off this ship and take me with you, you’d do it in a heartbeat and you’d take great pleasure in whatever destruction was left in your wake.’

He shook his head. ‘Like I said… the temptation would be great, but I would not succumb. I need that subroutine. I detest how it makes me feel, but as Troi keeps telling me, if I want to heal and evolve, I need to experience guilt and regret and process it. I regret what I did to your Father and I regret what I did to you.’

Kristen looked at him for a long time. ‘I want to believe you but how can I?’ 

‘I promised you that I would never lie to you again and I meant it,’ he replied.

‘When we were last together, everything in my head and heart was different. I had suspicions about the truth but the reality of it all has spun me out. You ask me how I think it makes you feel to know that I went back to Data… but how do you think knowing the facts about my Father and about all that happened on Terlina III makes _me_ feel?’ 

‘I can’t imagine,’

‘I’ve been living in the shadows for months and now I’m in the light again and all of the tiniest details, all of the deepest pain, it’s all available to me now and-’

‘Did you gain access to unit 24-E?’ he asked, fear gripping him like a vice.

‘No, of course not,’ she replied, ‘I agreed with Data that I would leave it alone.’

Lore was both relieved and hurt by that reply. He took a moment to think and as he did so, he attempted to move closer to her. Kristen shook her head and stepped backwards. ‘Please don’t reject me,’ he said, hands balling into fists at his sides, ‘don’t turn your back on me. Not now. You’re the one reason I have to better myself. Without that, I have no reason to live at all,’

‘That’s your problem, not mine,’ she returned, though her eyes had softened somewhat.

‘How can you say that?’ he asked, sorrow filling his heart, ‘how can you transfer love for me into love for Data so easily? Does nothing remain inside you now towards me? Do you feel nothing at all?’

‘I haven’t transferred anything,’ she said, ‘I love you both.’

The sorrow was black and starless, like space. Within it, he was both weightless and cold. ‘That’s not an option,’ he managed to say.

‘Don’t tell me how to feel. You can have no idea what I’m going through,’ she replied.

‘You can’t love two people at the same time,’

‘When you’ve been through what I’ve been through, you most certainly can,’ she snapped.

Lore felt the mercurial shifts inside himself potently as emotions rose and fell and changed. He was glad that she’d revealed she still had feelings for him but also desperately angry that she loved Data too. He was confused and also filled with understanding as to her position between them both. He felt guilty for all he’d done to her and to her family and also frustrated at the fact that he couldn’t undo the actions of his previous self. That much made him irritable beyond comprehension.

Out in deep space, time could be tampered with on occasion but hard facts could not be erased. Lore couldn’t force Kristen to forgive and forget and nor could he influence her in the way he had before. All he could do was try to keep up with what they shared as it became splintered by reality. 

‘I think I’ll go back to my quarters,’ Kristen said, ‘you’ve ruined what should have been a peaceful morning and I really do need to rest, especially now.’

Lore moved towards her again and this time she stood her ground. ‘Not yet,’ he said, ‘I’ve missed you. Please don’t go, please don’t leave me,’

‘I need time,’ she replied, looking up at him.

‘I need _you,_ ’ he shot back.

‘Right now, you’re going to have to try and be a friend to me. You’re going to have to stop nagging me and give me space,’

‘You’ve had space already,’ he said, anger unsteadying him, ‘and you want me to be a _friend_ to you? You told me just now that you love both Data _and_ me and yet you’re putting up walls between us?’

‘You’re doing it again,’ she snapped, ‘you’re being controlling. Why won’t you listen to me?’

‘I’m not your friend. I am always will be far more than that, Kris! I am _not_ your friend!’

‘Why did I even think that you could be?!’ she yelled, ‘what would _you_ know about friendship?! The only friend you ever had was an intergalactic snowflake!’

Lore recoiled from that, feeling the insult hit him as almost as hard as when she’d slapped his face. ‘Maybe you _should_ go,’ he retorted, ‘you need to go and get some ‘rest’, right? I think we both know what you’re getting at. You need to go and find my saintly brother and spread your legs for him again. How long did it take, anyway? You had your memories unlocked and then you knew just how to thank him, I’d bet. Did you fuck his brains out? Get on your knees for him? Suck his cock? I’m sure it was all very romantic.’

Kristen’s stare burned into him. ‘I despise you.’

He nodded, high on pain. ‘Sure you do… is that why you helped me kill Ria? Is that why you helped me bury her body? Do you remember holding my hand after that? You showed me affection and warmth long before I operated on you. We kissed even before I made you into my perfect creation.’

Her mouth fell open. ‘When I kissed you, I thought you were Data!’ she shouted.

‘Yeah _right_ ,’ he said, even though he knew that to be the heart-breaking truth, ‘we both know what was going on there,’ 

‘What the hell are you talking about?’

‘You wanted me just as much as I wanted you back then. Because you’re a rabid technosexual with Daddy issues and you took what you could from me,’ 

‘ _What?_ ’

‘Shut up and listen. You knew you’d lost Data and so you seduced me instead. I bet it was a fucking relief for you when I wiped your memories and then enhanced all that you used to be. When you woke up into a new life, you were joyfully submissive and wilfully obedient. I _know_ you liked it. You’re a slut for beings like me and Data, aren’t you? All of that crap your Father put into your head turned into a fetish. It’s your dirty secret. You’re using both of us just to fulfil your sick fantasies. You don’t love either of us at all.’

Kristen listened to those destructive lies and when Lore had finished, he had to try his absolute hardest not to wince. He’d broken his promise not to be dishonest to her with all of the accusations and falsities he’d just thrown her way and his ethical subroutine was screaming at him that he needed to back-peddle immediately and make it right. 

She continued to watch him, not moving, not speaking. Tears were gleaming in her eyes.

Lore clenched his fists, his teeth, and then he felt his throat tighten. She wasn’t the only one who was on the verge of bursting into tears.

‘First of all,’ she said, quiet but determined, ‘if anyone here has Daddy issues, it is certainly _not_ me. It is _you_. You’re the one whose whole life has been consumed with rage because of how your Father failed to nurture you and how he abandoned you, literally in pieces, so he could work on Data instead.’ 

Lore was shaking again. _Maybe I am in hell after all… purgatory would never hurt this much…_

‘Second of all, I did _not_ seduce you,’ she continued, ‘there is no point in denying that I developed feelings for you, but they came to life _only_ when I had been altered. I was crazy and broken before the surgery and vulnerable after it. Third of all, yes, I did find some pleasure in being your pet and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t genuine.’

Shocked by that admission, Lore blinked back tears. ‘What are you saying?’ he asked.

‘I hate that you brainwashed me and I hate that you stole my life and my memories, but some of the time we shared together was… well, it was dear to me. It’s wrong and it’s messed up, but it is what it is. Fourth of all… last of all… I am not using you or Data and I do in fact love you both very much. You’re like night and day in comparison to one another and I have no idea how I’m going to work this out in the long-run, but I would rather die than simply fetishize or use either one of you.’ She took a moment so she could swallow and then take a deep breath. ‘I adore you both and would give my life for you both too.’ 

‘I’m cruel when I’m needy,’ he said, feeling more pathetic and horrid than he had perhaps ever felt before.

‘Why did you say all of those wretched things? Are you so hateful and so selfish that you can attack me like that so easily?’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said.

Kristen wiped her eyes. ‘Do you mean that?’

‘Yes, I do. I’m sorry. I was trying to hurt you because I didn’t want you to leave me. I’m a horrible person, even when I’m trying not to be. Please forget what I said, Kristen, or try to forgive it,’

‘How can I? Even Soshi was not that cruel to me. I feel like you’ve just cut out my heart.’

Lore watched her put her hands to her face and at that he couldn’t keep himself away from her for even a moment longer. He’d sworn that he would never, ever hurt her again and here he was, lashing out at her with mindless vitriol and jealousy. Hating himself, he watched her start to sob. Slowly, he moved to stand in front of her and then he put his hands on her waist and rested his face against hers, cheeks touching, rubbing just a little. Kristen continued to cry but as she did not pull back from him, he moved his arms then and wrapped them around her. 

‘All of this is too much for me,’ she cried, ‘when will the pain stop?’

‘Probably when I stop hurting you,’ he replied.

‘No, that’s not true… even if you had been patient and forgiving today, I would still have had to deal with my feelings for you. I love you, Lore, but I love Data too. One of you is cruel and cold and the other is kind and sweet. None of that helps me, even though it should. None of it can tell me what to do. It should be so easy, especially given my past, my real past, but it’s not easy… it’s too difficult and… and… _oh my God…_ ’

She looked up at him then and he held her tighter. ‘Please forgive me for what I said. I know you’re not selfish and I know you’re doing your best. I am sorry for hurting you,’ he said.

‘I do forgive you… I think I will always forgive you, because I know you too well, but you have to stop with the pressure and the wicked things you say when you’re mad,’

‘I know, you’re right,’ he acceded, using a gentle thumb to wipe away her tears.

They looked at one another, some emotions still high but others calming. ‘Are you still attending your therapy sessions?’ she asked.

He thought it an odd question, as she already knew the answer. ‘Yes, of course I am. I’m not fixed, if that isn’t blatantly obvious to you by now, but I am trying to improve myself. My behaviour today was… well, it wasn’t indicative of change, but my feelings and motivations are altering their course. I wouldn’t get rid of the ethical subroutine because I know how important it is. Without it, I can never be worthy of you. I’m sorry I lied to you with those horrible things I said… I wish I could take them back, but… I can’t. I can’t undo it.’

Kristen leaned in to the touch of his hand. ‘You were just being you,’ she replied, ‘and given the circumstances, I guess I should have expected you to lash out like that,’

‘Are we okay?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know,’

‘I need us to be okay,’ 

‘I need the same, but you’re heartrendingly sweet at times and a fireball of contempt at others,’

‘I know that I’ve been evil but I don’t want to be that person anymore. My anger management is still ongoing and I’ve only just started walking the path to healing. Don’t desert me now, not when I need you the most. Don’t detest me when I’m striving to reinvent myself, not when it’s all for you, Kristen,’

‘I won’t,’ she said, ‘and I never intended to,’

‘I do understand that you’re caught in the middle,’ he added, even though it hurt, ‘and that it was me who put you there. If you do choose me someday or even if you decide to keep me in your life at all, I will be the luckiest person alive. I don’t deserve you at all but I want to.’

Kristen sighed. ‘I know you’re trying. I just wish you weren’t so bloody insufferable. You can be a real pain in the neck.’

Lore felt a touch of warmth at that wording, given how it was far from as brutal as he deserved. He tilted her head back a little and then touched his lips to hers, hoping she’d see it as a peace-offering and a symbol of surrender, instead of pressure or manipulation. Kristen returned that kiss, briefly so, and then pulled back. They gazed at one another and then kissed once again, firmer and with closed eyes and open hearts.

This time when Lore pulled back, he realised that a lot of the tension had just melted away. Human emotions were confounding and a burden most of the time, but when they were close like this and he was letting her see who he really was beneath the angst and the rage, they were so very worth it. 

‘I love you, Kristen,’ he said.

She blinked, her expression losing its tension as those words sank into her. Lore realised he had said them out loud instead of thinking them but the realisation was not terrible and nor did it make him feel weak or foolish. Kristen touched his cheek and then her gaze shifted over each of his facial features, almost as though she was seeing him for the first time.

_She is definitely seeing me for the first time… or at least as someone real. I meant what I said and I will never take it back. I’ve felt this way for eons. It’s time she knew the truth. I should have told her this a very long time ago. I love her so much._

‘How can I know you mean that?’ she asked.

‘You know already. What does your gut feeling tell you? What does your heart say?’ he replied.

Kristen looked over his face again, touched her fingers to his lips. ‘You do mean it,’ she said, her tone touched by wonder and realisation. 

Lore nodded, slow and sure. He meant it with all of his heart. He’d never felt anything with such conviction. She sensed that and somehow he could feel it. Perhaps their subliminal link did still exist somehow, or was it love that had two people just _know_ a fact or a feeling to be true? ‘Can I kiss you again?’ he asked, ready to merge his words with tender actions.

‘I don’t know if that’s a good idea,’ she whispered, ‘only this morning, I was-’

‘Don’t,’ he said.

She rested both hands on his chest and looked down at them for a moment.

‘Does Data know how you feel? That you need time? That you can’t choose either one of us?’ he asked.

‘Yes, yes and yes,’ she replied, ‘and he also knows I won’t let anything come between he and I again. I won’t, Lore. I do love him. Very much,’

‘Alright,’ he said, ‘I get it,’

‘So I should go now…’

‘No, I don’t think so. You’re not being dishonest,’ he implored, ‘and if you let me be close to you for a while, you’re not being deceitful either, Kris. Data and I… we both know that you’re caught in the middle. We both understand you’re in an impossible situation and that you have to work this out for yourself. You’ve had your time with him and now you need some time with me.’

She winced. ‘I do… you’re right… I do. How can I do this and not be a terrible person? I let you in and I hurt Data. I let Data in and I hurt you.’

Lore felt a tingle of empathy for her. ‘I’m done judging you. Data won’t lash out at you like I did today because he’s just too kind for that and we both know it. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave things like this between us. I love you. I love you so much and I want to be with you for a while. Will you stay?’

‘If I do, will I be evil?’

He shook his head. ‘No, definitely not. You’re not capable of evil and I of all people should know that. Like you said… after all you’ve been through…’

‘It’s horrible and beautiful,’

‘I know. I know, my sweet one.’

Kristen sobbed again, a small sob that exuded raw emotion, and then she leaned up and kissed him. He stopped thinking then and took hold of her with more control than before, knowing she needed guidance now instead of being forced to consider and assess and battle the impossible. He gathered her up in his arms and then he carried her over to the sofa and sat her down. As she tried to get her bearings, he knelt down in front of her and then he rested his hands on her knees and stroked them up her thighs.

‘I can’t believe that you said that you love me,’ she whispered, dazed by it all, still crying.

‘Neither can I, but I did,’ he replied, ‘I’ve thought it many times. I should have said it long ago but I was locked in my stubbornness… my bitterness. I’ve loved you since Terlina III. I still love you now but it’s not what it was then. You know me. I know you. I fall in love with you over and over again. It never ends, Kristen. It just gets deeper.’

Kristen watched him and did not reply. Nor did she stop him when he eased her into a supine position and started to unfasten her trousers, popping open the buttons with deliberate slowness. 

He thought of the first time they made love. The chase in the lab, the playtime, the laughter, the almost innocent way they’d interacted… and then the fight, the reconciliation and the passion. Then, as he pulled her trousers down off her legs and tossed them away, he thought of the last time they’d made love. The facts, the fighting, the aggression. The kissing in the semi-darkness, the way she’d wanted to love him not as her keeper but just as himself. Her mouth on his body, her hands in his hair. The sounds she made. Her scent, her taste, her softness and liquid heat. Being inside her brought completion. Holding her afterwards as she slept brought peace.

Her eyes were on him still and he glanced to them briefly. Then he looked down at her bare flesh, seeing lovebites on her thighs. His brother had put them there; little bruises in the shape of gloomy butterflies. Dark pink markings, haloed by purple and yellow. Lore touched them, fighting to see them as anything but beautiful, and then he glanced over her underwear and her navel and her upper body, still wearing a cropped, black top. 

Kneeling up, he pulled it up and over her head. She was almost naked then, not wearing a bra, and though her cheeks were wet with tears, she’d stopped crying. Lore maintained eye contact with her as he leaned forwards again and started to mouth kisses over her inner thigh. She hadn’t showered yet and had probably planned to do that in her own rooms. Kristen didn’t smell bad at all, but she did smell of sex. Of the no doubt frenzied reunion coupling she’d shared with Data not so long ago. There was no mistaking it. 

Lore felt a pulse of jealousy but he quickly locked it down. She was here right now, with him, and when they were alone they were each other’s. 

His kisses ascended to her hip, to her stomach and then to each of her breasts. She made a quiet keening noise when he sucked them and then she wrapped her legs around him, pulling him close. He thought he could hear a knocking sound somewhere but then he realised it was his pulse, jumping constantly, as she once again proved that she wouldn’t be yet another person to push him away and reject him. Lore kissed her clavicles and then he moved back down again, biting softly at the porcelain flatness of her stomach. 

There, he sucked her, also wanting to leave lovebites. Data wouldn’t be the only one to mark her. By the time this was over, she’d bear the marks of both brothers. 

Kristen touched his face and he looked up at her, knowing he must look lost in his arousal. ‘Are you okay?’ he whispered.

She shrugged. ‘I’d better not answer that question.’

He frowned a little, wondering if he should reassure her some more. Kristen stroked her thumb over his cheek and then she used her other hand to pull him up to her. He brought his face close to hers and rested his hands at either side of her head. Another intense moment of staring, her face etched with need and confusion, his face oddly calm now that they were together again and he’d been permitted to touch her and kiss her. She quivered a little and it made him want to smile, not that he did so. This was too serious, too visceral, too real.

‘I should hate you but… I can’t,’ she whispered.

‘Don’t hate me,’ he replied, ‘it’s never that simple. _I’m_ not that simple and you’re not that cruel,’

‘I wish I could have you both…’

‘And we both wish we could have you to ourselves,’

‘You can’t,’

‘And you can’t have it all. Don’t say anything else. Just let me love you, Kris.’

She pulled him closer still and then she tilted her head and kissed him. It was a full kiss, one that was open-mouthed and searching. Her tongue greeted his first and when she flickered the tip of it against his, accepting him and coaxing him too, he fought the urge to moan. She drew a small breath and then she hummed with enjoyment as he gently rolled his hips against hers, a slow thrust that hinted at more to come. Her taste was sweet and slightly salty too, due to perhaps licking away some of her tears, but to him it was nothing less than delicious. 

Lore bit playfully at her lips, one hand moving to her throat so he could give her a possessive squeeze there. She gasped and he broke the kiss so he could check her eyes, check her mood. Like him, she wasn’t smiling, but in her eyes there gleamed encouragement. Letting go of her throat, he moved back and then she was sitting up so she could help him take off his shirt. As soon as it was gone, he grabbed her hands and pulled her to her feet in one swift movement.

She put her hands on his shoulders and he bent just slightly so he could lift her up. Her legs wrapped around him, her arms wrapped around him too, her mouth fixed to his in a loving kiss, and then he walked her out of the lounge area and carried her into his bedroom.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Reviews would be appreciated, if anyone has the time!


	44. Amber and Citrine

It was 16:20 hours when Kristen got up and out of Lore’s bed. He made to follow her, or at least that’s what she expected him to do, but he only rested himself at the edge of it and then poised himself there, as though waiting for a verdict. On shaky legs, she stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say to cancel out the awkwardness. Loving him didn’t help the mood that had risen since the sex had come to an end. Being naked didn’t feel all that comfortable either and so she found her knickers and once she’d pulled them on, she went through to the lounge to find the rest of her clothes. 

She picked them up and took another moment, willing herself to make sense of the confusion rattling her soul. Sense did not come to her and so she carried the clothes back in with her and then watched his troubled face as she put on her trousers and then pulled on her top.

‘You’ve got to say something to me or I’m going to explode,’ Lore said.

Kristen fastened the buttons on her pants. ‘What do you want me to say?’

‘I don’t know. Anything. What’s on your mind?’

She finished dressing herself and then she stood there, wondering if it was even possible to convey the state she was slipping into. It felt like she was sinking into quicksand only she wasn’t scared, she was ready to be pulled under and willing to be suffocated. ‘I don’t regret what we just did,’ she managed, in a quiet voice, ‘though I’ll probably change my mind about that later…’

‘Is that it?’ he asked.

‘For now, yes.’ Kristen shrugged.

Lore’s eyes narrowed as he watched her. ‘Come over here,’ he said, offering her a hand.

She moved over to the bed and sat down by his side, both of her hands moving to take his. ‘I’m very tired. I ache…’ she said.

‘I’m not surprised. You rode me like your life depended on it. I thought we were going to break the bed this time.’

She knew he was trying to lighten the mood but she was disassociating and humour of any description was just not within her reach right now. Kristen blinked and considered him, her heart hurting as she wrestled with what she’d just done. Somewhere on this ship, Data was working and though she had no doubts he’d be behaving with total professionalism and concentration as he tended to his duties, she knew he’d also be thinking of her and that they had returned to the way things had once been. 

That they had been intimate and she had said that she loved him… 

…and here she was, in the aftermath of more sex with his brother, and he had no idea.

She loved Data madly. She loved Lore madly. She was wronging them both simultaneously and fulfilling them both at the same time. 

‘I’m sorry that I yelled at you and said those horrible things,’ he said, concern on his face now as he noted how much she was struggling, ‘I was jealous and angry. I regret that I insulted you. I truly am sorry, Kristen. I wish I could take it all back,’

‘It’s my conscience that bothers me now, not how vindictive you were,’ she replied.

‘Were you thinking of him when we were…?’

‘Yes, at times. Just like I thought of you at times last night when I was with him. I can’t help it. You might hate each other, but inside me you’re fused.’

Lore looked down at their hands. She thought he might be pissed off at what she’d just said but if he was he didn’t go out of his way to show it. He toyed with her fingers, with gentleness and affection, and after a while she too looked down to observe what he was doing. There was no awkwardness but it was a difficult mood and as the seconds ticked by, Kristen felt more and more adrift. She let go of his hand, needing to hold him and also be held at the same time, and put her arms around his neck. Lore pulled her close and she nuzzled her face against his.

‘I wish you’d stay here with me,’ he said.

‘No. I’m going to go soon and you won’t make it difficult for me,’ she stated.

‘Will you come back to me later?’ he asked.

‘I can’t,’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I’ll be going to Data’s quarters. It’s already arranged. Don’t chide me, because I can’t handle it, Lore. I can’t fight with you anymore about… well, anything. I haven’t got the strength.’

He stiffened somewhat in her embrace and pulled back from her. There was a flash of hurt in his eyes and because she could hardly bear to see it, she closed her eyes briefly and then looked away from him. Lore took her arms in his hands and then he shifted her easily onto his lap and held her close. She continued to stare into the distance, even when he held her anew in this different position, and rested his head against hers. He was being tender, even though he was in pain, and it helped in some regards and intensified her guilt in others. 

_Not all monsters were monsters in the beginning… some are monsters born of sorrow…_

Kristen stayed where she was for a little while and then she shook her head at herself and got up, standing away from him and the bed altogether. Walking out of the room, she went back to the lounge and stood near the doors. There were a few shuffling sounds from beyond the partition and then Lore strode after her. He’d pulled on his trousers and his expression was contorted with ill-disguised panic.

‘Kris, you can’t just walk out like this,’ he said, reaching for her, ‘come on. Come back to bed. I’ll take care of you, if that’s what you need. Just stay, alright?’

She let him take her hands, let herself be held again when he pulled her to him and embraced her. ‘I can’t. Just give me some time,’ she said, hoping he’d listen and understand.

Lore squeezed her tight in his arms, almost crushing her in his need, and then he put his hands to her face and looked down at her. ‘I can tell you’re not alright. How can I let you walk out of here alone when I know for a fact that something isn’t right with you? Just stay and talk to me. We can figure this out.’

She sighed. ‘No, we can’t. I need to go now. I’m going and I want you to let me go, alright?’

His brows knitted, his lips parted. He pushed some hair back from her eyes and then kissed her forehead. ‘I’m worried about you…’

‘I’ll check in with you when I can,’ she replied, and then she put her hands to his wrists and gently pushed him away from her.

Lore swallowed. ‘Do you need me to tell you I love you again? If you do, I don’t mind. I sort of got used to it when we were having sex just now. I don’t know if you noticed that. I said it a whole load of times. Maybe too much. I do love you, Kristen. I love you very much.’

She nodded, moved to the doors again. ‘I know. I love you too, Lore. I’ll see you later.’

Without another byte of hesitation, she got out of there and started walking down the corridor. She’d forgotten to put her shoes back on and so she was barefoot and silent as she got on her way. The thought of going to her quarters prevailed until she was actually there and that was when she stood still and realised that being alone in there would be too hard. To be alone with her guilt, just waiting for Data to let her know he was off-duty so they could be together again, would be too much. How was she going to tell him what she’d done? Turning around, she started to walk again, ignoring those who acknowledged her or even looked her way as she passed.

She could go back to Lore and be comforted but it would only confuse them both further. Or she could even seek Counselor Troi, a trusted friend who would never judge her, but that didn’t feel right either. 

Kristen walked and walked for the best part of half an hour and it was only when she reached deck ten and saw that she was approaching the ship’s bar that she remembered Guinan at all and how well they’d got on in the past. When Kristen had first joined the _Enterprise_ as a protégé, she had taken her time in forming bonds with others. Guinan had been one of the first real friends she’d made and she hadn’t seen her much since she’d returned from Terlina III. Even before she had come to accept Data for who he was, Guinan had been there as a source of support and non-judgemental companionship and Kristen had missed her. 

_Yes,_ she thought, _Guinan. I need Guinan. I need to talk to someone like her. She’s not a part of Starfleet and she’s not the sort of person to criticise. She’ll listen to me. It’s what El-Aurians do._

Entering TenForward, Kristen took a look about. She hadn’t been there for a while it took a moment for her to adjust to her surroundings. Because many people were still on-duty, the only patrons there were either officers taking breaks or civilians having an early dinner or drinks with friends. Most of the tables and chairs were empty. 

Guinan was standing behind the bar, wearing one of her typically outlandish outfits – a hexagonal hat atop her head and a crushed velvet dress over matching trousers, all in a shade of mustard. Kristen made her way over immediately, drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Guinan gave her a welcoming smile. ‘I was wondering how long it would take for you to end up here,’ she said, as she used a silvery cloth to polish a glass tumbler. She set the glass down and the cloth too. ‘What can I get you? I know you used to like coffee with cream and sweetener.’

Kristen took a seat on a barstool. ‘I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you,’ she said, ignoring the offer of a drink for the time being, ‘I’ve had rather a lot to contend with,’

‘Yes, I know. TenForward is the centre of the ship’s social pulse and so anything and everything is discussed here. I also fence with Captain Picard when we can. We’ve been friends for a very long time and we share a lot. He has told me about much of what has happened to you. Also, I can see it for myself. You do look very different,’ Guinan said.

‘I’m a cyborg. Kinda funny when you think about it. When I joined the crew of this vessel I was anxious around artificial life. Even Data, who is a sweetheart in every regard and gentle beyond belief, used to freak me out… and now I’ve got cybernetic limbs and eyes and positronic implants burrowing into my brain. I’m more android than human. Can you imagine what my Father would say if he could see me now?’ She laughed, without a smile, her eyes cold. ‘Oh, Guinan… don’t offer me coffee at a time like this. I need something stronger.’

Guinan folded her arms and then leaned on them. ‘I could give you something stronger but it wouldn’t help your situation, Kris. It would only make you feel good for the length of time the alcohol is in your bloodstream and then when you wake up tomorrow, you’d regret it. Wouldn’t you rather talk instead and have some coffee?’

Kristen sighed and rubbed her face. ‘No. Not really,’

‘What do you want to drink?’

‘Strychnine.’

Guinan shook her head. ‘I don’t have any mixers for that. Nothing that would make it taste good, anyway. How about a white wine spritzer instead?’

‘Nope,’

‘Synthehol does have some intoxicating effects…’ 

‘Don’t hold out on me now,’ Kristen said, ‘I’m a big girl, Guinan. I can take care of myself,’

‘If I allow you to get drunk, it will reflect badly on us both,’

‘I just want to feel numb instead of conflicted and guilty. Give me a shot of something. I’m not asking for Romulan Ale or anything you shouldn’t have when we both know you do. I know you’ve got some of the good stuff stashed behind that bar of yours, some real booze. Take pity on me, if it helps you to help me, but don’t hold out on me. I need a goddamned drink. A _real_ drink.’

Guinan thought for a moment or two and then she walked away, right to the other end of the bar, and stooped down so she could rifle through her store of genuine alcohol. Kristen was relieved already, even though she hadn’t swallowed even a sip of the liquor she so desired. She’d never been a big drinker but today she needed a dose of something that would get her out of this fug. 

When Guinan returned, she put a slender bottle of neon yellow liquid down and then she retrieved two glasses and set them down beside it. ‘Give me a moment,’ she said, ‘if you’re drowning your sorrows, I am not going to let you do it alone. I just need to ask Ben to cover the bar,’

‘Ben?’ Kristen said, confused, ‘he’s the Security Chief…’

‘Not that Ben,’ Guinan replied, with a patient smile. She went to speak to a guy who was waiting tables and as Kristen watched, she remembered him too. Ben was one of those working civilians who managed to be friends with both senior officers and recently-graduated ensigns, and she recalled several conversations with him and hearing about poker games he’d played with Data, Riker, Worf and the others. 

Guinan came back and then she took a seat right next to Kristen and opened the bottle. ‘This is something I brewed myself,’ she revealed, as she poured two small measures.

‘What is it?’ Kristen asked.

‘A blend of spices, herbs and… well, if I told you the rest I’d have to kill you,’

‘Deal. Slay me now. I welcome it.’

Guinan turned and her black eyes were concerned then. ‘You’re in a horrific mood,’ she observed.

‘And then some.’ Kristen took her glass and tipped it down her throat immediately. ‘Can I have another, please?’

Guinan picked up her own glass and took a sip. ‘Soon. What’s going on with you, Kris? You look exhausted and dishevelled and I’ve never known you to be as reckless as you’re trying to be right now. How are you feeling?’

Kristen licked her lips. The booze was lemony and also minty. ‘I feel like hell. I’ve been through hell and I’m still there. I’m not two different people anymore but it’s not benefitting me any. Please can I have another shot?’

‘One more and then you explain yourself.’

Her glass was refilled and handed back to her. Kristen knocked it back, barely tasting it this time. Already the potency of the alcohol she was definitely not used to was warming her belly and making her body feel loose and relaxed. It was as though she’d just received a deep-tissue massage but from within. ‘I’ll open up to you but can I ask you a question first?’

‘Of course,’

‘Have you ever been in a love triangle?’

Guinan smiled. ‘Given my age and my many marriages, I’ve probably been through every romantic or intimate scenario you could imagine,’

‘That’s a yes then…’

‘It is,’

‘Tough, isn’t it?’

‘It’s certainly not easy.’

Kristen put her glass down on the bar. ‘I’ve been in love with Data for so long. He’s the most amazing person. He’s special. I know he’s not unique in that he’s a sentient artificial being, but he’s certainly unique in his personality and the way he views life and human experience. He’s kind and forgiving and patient. His outlook is beautiful and his sweetness has touched so many of us. He’s handsome too. Gorgeous, really. I love him with all of my heart and soul. I still want to marry him. I wish I was still wearing that ring he gave me on my finger,’

‘And?’ Guinan prompted.

‘And… I’m also in love with Lore.’

Her friend swallowed a little more from her glass. ‘I have been caught between two suitors before but they were not brothers or related in any way. Nor were they physically identical,’

‘I don’t recommend it.’ She reached for the bottle and uncorked it again without permission, pouring herself another shot. ‘In fact, I would heartily recommend that no-one should _ever_ fall in love with _anyone._ It’s just a fucking headache.’

Guinan let some silence pass between them as she nursed her drink.

‘I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,’ Kristen said. She put the glass to her lips, tilted it back and emptied it again. ‘I can’t make the right choice. I don’t even want to make a choice. If I had any say in my life right now, I’d get off this ship altogether, I’d find a desolate planet and then I’d climb under a rock and die there. Can cyborgs die?’ 

‘I believe so,’

‘I have human components but I don’t know how long I can live. I’m not a Borg but I’m not a woman either. Does that make sense?’ 

‘Yes,’

‘Ugh. My face feels funny.’

Guinan moved to take the bottle but Kristen was faster, her hand shooting out to grasp it. ‘Don’t hurt yourself,’ her friend advised.

‘I’m doing the exact opposite. Do you know that I’ve been in bed with both of them today? Can you imagine how disloyal that makes me feel? I’m a horrible, horrible person. I don’t deserve either of them, really. Lore is a hateful, vengeful creature but he’s bettering himself far more than I am. He has valid reasons for much of what he’s done, but what about me? My childhood was pretty screwed up at times but there was love. He never had real love or support, never had anyone to fight his corner or comfort him or support him. I’ve never deserved Data. I was in a whole different love triangle with him even before we became a couple. I put him through so much pain. He should forget about me and move on,’

‘He doesn’t want that,’ Guinan supplied, ‘you’re his first love and his only love. I’ve known him for a long time and I know it to be true. Even if he did try to move on and fall in love with someone else, it would be false and wouldn’t work. He’ll always want you.’ 

Kristen poured herself another shot, brought it to her lips and swallowed it down. ‘He’s a saint. He’s an angel. He’s made of gold. Can’t you see it? Sometimes I touch these implants on my head and I find myself wanting to rip them off. My eyes are too red. Does my face look funny?’

When she poured yet another shot, Guinan didn’t try to stop her. ‘This self-destructive behaviour will hurt you… and it will hurt Data and Lore,’ she said.

‘I hurt both of them whether I intend to or not. Because I’m evil.’ Kristen blinked a few times, trying to focus. ‘Lore told me today that I’m a whore… and he took it back when we argued. But he was right. I _am_ a whore. I’m sleeping with both of them. Leading them both into inevitable agony. Yesterday I got my memories back and I spent the most wonderful time with Data. We were so close. We made love. I felt myself connect to him… and then when I left his quarters, Lore was waiting for me,’ 

‘What happened?’

‘He dragged me to his quarters and we fought… I hit him… and we fought some more and then we made love. What is this life? Death would be easier. All of this is… it’s bedlam. If I were to die… they could both move on.’

Guinan put a hand to Kristen’s lower back. ‘I think I should call Counselor Troi,’ she said, in a caring tone.

‘Don’t you _dare_ ,’ Kristen snapped. She poured herself another shot, this one so generous that the glass over-spilled and coated her fingers with yellowy booze. She knocked the measure back and when she slammed the glass down onto the bar it was with such force that the surface cracked. ‘Damn,’ she said, ‘oh… damn. I didn’t mean to do that… sorry…’

Guinan noted the damage, stood up and went back behind the bar. She contacted Data via the computer. ‘Can you come to TenForward?’ she asked, ‘I need assistance with Kristen immediately!’

‘I am on my way,’ Data replied, ‘hold your position.’

Kristen put a hand to her face. ‘Don’t bring him here…’ she moaned, ‘please don’t let him see me like this…’

Guinan came over to her again, tried to wrestle the bottle away. Kristen fought for it and won easily. With it in her hand, she stood up from her stool and backed away. She brought it to her mouth and took a few deep swallows, ignoring how it made her stomach ache. The tears began to fall then. She tasted salt and citrus fruit and mint in her mouth. Guinan dropped her arms to her sides, giving up on a fight she knew she couldn’t win. 

Kristen stared at her, helpless, her double-vision making it hard to see at all. 

‘You need to visit sickbay,’ Guinan said, openly distressed, ‘you need to see Troi,’

‘I need a fucking miracle,’ Kristen slurred, sinking down to her knees, ‘that or a phaser set to kill… aimed right at my bloody, sodding head.’

*

Data strode into TenForward and looked for Guinan first. She was crouching down by Kristen and was apparently trying to reason with her. Kristen was clutching a bottle of something that was definitely not synthehol and tears were streaming down her face. He had seen organic beings in various states of intoxication over the years, his colleagues and best friends included, but he had never seen anyone so undone by alcohol. He took a moment to look around the room and noticed that other patrons were most definitely interested in the drama that was unfurling. Pained, he crossed the room.

Guinan stood up and came to him. ‘She hasn’t been here all that long,’ she confided, ‘but I could tell something was wrong from the moment she walked in. She needs help,’

‘How much has she imbibed?’ Data asked.

‘Almost an entire bottle of my home-brewed El-Aurian tequila,’ Guinan replied.

Data nodded to her and then went to kneel down in front of Kristen. She squinted, peering up at him with woozy eyes. ‘Which one are you?’ she slurred, ‘the good one or the bad one?’ 

He reached for the bottle but she clutched it to her chest. ‘I am Data,’ he replied.

‘The good one… yes, that’s…’ She hiccupped. ‘That’s… nice…’

‘Please give me the bottle. You are drunk and require hydration and rest. I need to take you to sickbay.’

Kristen snorted with laughter. ‘You are my sunshine… my only fun-shine… a bloody hopeless drunk-shine… a pathetic mess on the ship’s bar floor…’ she sang.

He looked to Guinan. ‘Shall I call Deanna and Beverly?’ she asked.

‘Please inform them both of the situation but do not ask them to come here. I will take her to my quarters instead,’ he replied.

‘Are you sure?’

Was he? No, not exactly. All he wanted to do was get her out of here so that the others in the room couldn’t watch her fall to pieces. He once again reached for the bottle of alcohol and this time he managed to wrench it from Kristen’s grip and toss it out of the way. 

She pouted at him, childishly, and then she started to giggle again. ‘That’s terribly unfair,’ she said, jeering in her drunkenness, ‘which one _are_ you? The cruel one or the one who makes me feel good? Are you going to beat me or kiss me? I don’t care… I deserve bruises more than kisses anyway…’

Guinan stood aside whilst Data pulled Kristen to her feet. She held onto him, crying and laughing at the same time, and then he tried to pick her up. It seemed she wasn’t in the mood to be carried for she kicked with her legs and pushed him away with her hands. ‘No!’

‘Please let me help you,’ he implored, ‘I want to take you from here so you can rest.’

She trembled where she stood. ‘Sleep is over-rated. I need another drink. Hey, Guinan! Have you got any more of that tasty yellow stuff? It had a bit of a b-burn on the way down but it was mostly d-delicious. Does my face look weird? I think it does. My eyes have two faces. Did you notice that? My eyes have two _faces!_ ’

Data took a breath, frowned in Guinan’s direction so he could transmit some of his worry to a trusted friend, and then he came for Kristen again and lifted her up. He threw her over his shoulder and ignored the fact that she instantly began to gnash her teeth and slam her fists into his lower back. He walked out of TenForward and kept on walking until he was carrying his beloved into a turbolift. The doors closed and she continued to kick and scream, begging him to let her go and give her more to drink. 

‘I wasn’t finished in there!’ she yelled, ‘I was only getting started!’

‘You have had more than enough alcohol,’ he replied, staring straight ahead of himself as she bucked and writhed.

‘Don’t you dare tell me what to do! Or what I need! Let me _go!_ Put me _down!_ ’

He managed to sink into a state of auto-pilot and that was the one thing that provided the resolve he needed to take her somewhere safe without giving in to how cutting and stressful all of it was.

In his rooms, he carried her through to their bed and then he laid her down with a soft thump on the mattress. Kristen rolled around on the covers in delirium and then she twisted around until she was braced on her front, blood-coloured eyes sparking in the shadows. ‘You’re the _bad one_ ,’ she spat, ‘and _I’m_ the bad one too… and Lore is the _bad one…_ we’re all bad and evil… that’s what Dad would say… _things_ like us have no right to exist! We’re abominations!’

Data went to the replicator and requested a large glass of chilled water. He carried it back through to the bedroom and then sat down on the end of the bed. ‘You need to drink this,’ he said, holding it out to her.

She sneered at him. ‘I want more of that yellow stuff,’

‘You require hydration,’ he countered, ‘please, drink this water.’

Kristen looked at the glass, looked at him, and then at the glass again. Data wondered if she was going to knock it out of his hand but then she surprised him by pulling herself over to his side and taking it from him with unexpected steadiness. She gulped all of it down, gasped, and then passed it back to him. ‘Can I have some more?’

‘Of course.’ He went back to the replicator, returned, and passed her the glass again.

Kristen took it once more, sipping it from it this time. ‘If there was only a way to split myself in two,’ she said, between swallows, ‘or meld myself into what you both need. I could be human and android as I am now, but more… I could be pet and Harper, Kristen Harper, with heterochromatic eyes… one red and one brown… limbs of flesh and blood and limbs of cybernetic strength… my heart wouldn’t be pulled in two different directions. Can you imagine? Or what if you and he could meld? Into one android? One body… four eyes, no, two eyes… one personality, both antagonistic and sweet… can you imagine… does my face look weird?’

Data shook his head. ‘No, your face does not look any different to how it usually does.’

She dropped the glass before she could hand it back to him and it clattered to the floor. ‘I did something terrible today,’ she said, rubbing her mouth with her fist.

He put his hands to her shoulders and helped her to sit upright. ‘What did you do?’ he asked.

‘Don’t make me say it,’ she replied, those words ending in a sob, ‘don’t make me confess…’

Data wasn’t stupid. ‘You went to visit with Lore?’

‘Don’t make me…’

‘Kristen. I need you to talk to me,’

‘I visited with him, but not exactly, but yes.’ She raked her fingers through her stripy hair, licking her lips. ‘He was waiting for me when I left you this morning. He was standing out in the corridor and who knows how long he’d been there. He took me back to his rooms and we had a horrible fight. He called me a whore. He told me that he loved me.’

He inclined his head. ‘It is clear that he loves you,’

‘Yes, sure, yes, but… he’d never said it before, Data. He had never said those words. Not until today.’

Taking a moment to steady himself, he inhaled and then exhaled, carefully so. He was not faring well in the face of these revelations but he knew he needed to keep calm. ‘What did you do?’ he repeated.

‘I can’t…’

‘You can. You can tell me anything.’

Kristen took hold of her top and then she struggled out of it. Then she put her hands to her stomach, where livid lovebites could be seen. Data looked at them, at her bare breasts and then back at her face. ‘I went to bed with him,’ she sobbed, ‘I stayed there all day… and I feel so bad about that. But then I felt bad about being with you… it doesn’t matter which one of you I’m with… because it seems I’m destined to feel bad no matter what I do. I’ll hurt you both. Because I’m a terrible person. I am the worst person who has ever lived. I’m evil.’

He swallowed over the lump in his throat and then he got onto the bed and took hold of her, moving her onto her side. She writhed on the covers and turned herself over until she was facing him and that was when he held her close. She was shivering in her intoxication and so he reached down for the blankets and pulled them up until they were both covered. Her teeth were chattering.

‘You are not a terrible person and nor are you evil,’ he told her, trying to manage his own guilt, ‘you are doing your best, Kristen,’

‘Don’t forgive me,’ she whined.

Data put his hand to the back of her neck so that he could hold her face to his chest. She breathed there, shaking all over. Her hands clung onto him and it made his heart ache. ‘It is my prerogative whether I forgive you or not,’ he told her, ‘and I choose to do so because I love you and there is nothing you could do that would change that. The decisions you make are no reflection on your true nature, Kristen. You make these decisions because of the situation you have been forced into,’

‘Don’t forgive me,’ she repeated, shivering. 

‘I want you to perform a self-diagnostic,’ he said.

‘Why?’

‘Please, do as I ask.’

Kristen closed her eyes. Her teeth continued to chatter as she performed the necessary checks. The blue lights on her grafts blinked on and off madly and when she was done, she peered up at him. ‘I am functioning within established…’ and then she laughed. ‘You were right about it being weird that I talk like that now. It sounds weird just saying those words… but yeah, I’m functioning as I should be. The irony of that is going to haunt my dreams.’

Data reached for a blanket and then he used one hand, the other still holding onto her, to cover her up. Half-naked, cold and drunk, she snuggled into him and exhaled. ‘Hey, Data?’ she asked.

‘Yes?’

‘I remember all that stuff that happened with Q. He wasn’t such a bad guy really. He was kinda funny at times. Do you think if I pray for him to come and help me, he will?’

‘I do not know,’ he replied.

‘Data?’

‘Yes, Kristen?’

‘Does my face look weird?’

‘No, it does not.’

‘Oh… good.’ And then her eyes closed once more and she passed out.

*

Much like Doctor Crusher, Counselor Troi had been informed as to what had happened in TenForward the night before. Guinan had brought them up to speed just as soon as Data had carried Kristen out of there. Troi had wanted to go to Data’s quarters from the moment she’d heard about the tequila. The last time _she_ had drunk tequila, it had been to try and gain favour with Zefram Cochrane and it had resulted in her passing out and smashing her head into the top of the bar they’d been sitting on. To this day, even the word ‘tequila’ made Troi feel ill. 

To know that Kristen had drowned her sorrows to the point of apparent oblivion was most disconcerting. She wasn’t much of a drinker and the booze must have hit her hard. Troi also knew that Kristen had spent the majority of the previous day with Lore. When Kristen had left his rooms, he had turned up at her office for his daily therapy appointment and had then spent all of his two-hour session there bemoaning the fight they’d had and the fact that she now knew the entire truth about her past with Data. 

Lore was depressed, Kristen was turning to alcohol and Troi could only imagine what Data was going through. The three of them were heading ever deeper and ever faster into surefire heartbreak and there seemed to be no resolution that would benefit them all.

The following morning, she and Crusher headed to Data’s rooms to survey the damage. Beverly wanted to check Kristen over physically and had a medi-kit with her. Deanna wanted to spend some time with her to assess just how bad she was feeling. They didn’t let Kristen or Data know they were coming; they simply set off and arrived there a little after 10:00 hours.

When they signalled they were there, Data came to the door. He was still in uniform and was visibly surprised to be receiving company. ‘Kristen is bathing,’ he said, ‘if you wish to see her, you may have to wait a while,’

‘That’s alright,’ Crusher said, with a smile, ‘can we come in?’

‘Of course.’ He moved out of the way.

Troi didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary within his rooms and that was a relief. She and Crusher sat down on the sofa and Data brought them tea from the replicator. ‘Dare I ask what happened last night?’ Troi asked.

Data put the cups down on the table. ‘Kristen was very drunk. Guinan asked me to come to TenForward-’

‘We know that part,’ Crusher said, ‘how was she through the night?’

He sat down on a chair opposite them. ‘It was… hectic. She fell asleep for a few hours and then she awoke and spent a long time in the bathroom. She vomited a great deal. I helped her to drink water and tried to persuade her to let me bring her to sickbay but she was adamant that she wanted to remain here. I tried to keep her warm and hydrated. I was not sure what else to do.’

Troi felt a pang for Data. ‘You did exactly what either of us would have recommended,’ she said.

Crusher smiled again but it was sad this time. ‘How has she been this morning?’

‘I believe that her mental state could best be described as… sheepish,’ Data said.

‘That’s all part of a hangover,’ she replied.

‘It is a part of human experience that I am fortunate I will never encounter. It was not at all pleasant,’

‘Hangovers, reckless behaviour, alcohol poisoning and alcoholism are all part and parcel of why Synthehol was invented and why alcohol consumption is discouraged overall,’ Troi explained.

‘I do not understand how one could become addicted to a substance that, when imbibed in great quantities, results in such anguish and physical sickness. It seems strange to me that a person would experience a hangover and all of the negative aspects of such a state and then repeat the self-destructive behaviour by getting drunk all over again,’ Data said.

‘Being drunk isn’t a bad feeling, when you’re in a good mental place,’ Crusher said, picking up her tea and blowing over it to cool it down, ‘when you drink responsibly and only have a few glasses, it can be nice. Being tipsy is nice. Being drunk can be pleasant. As with many addictive substances, the resulting hangover or withdrawal period can be forgotten when a person is in a social mood or party environment and they want to join in and have fun. It’s rather hard to explain, Data. The addiction overlooks the negative aspects and instead focuses on the lighter, happier part. Hedonism is a double-edged sword.’

Troi listened carefully to all of that. ‘Personally, I doubt I’ll ever drink too much ever again,’ she said, thinking again of Zefram Cochrane.

Crusher sipped her tea. ‘I like a glass or two of wine but being drunk has never appealed to me. I like to stay in control.’

Data tilted his head. ‘When Kristen was drunk last night it did not appear to be pleasant at all,’ he said.

‘There are many reasons why people get drunk,’ Troi said, ‘sometimes, it’s to bury pain.’

Kristen appeared then. She was dressed and had wet hair and a towel around her shoulders. Surprised to see that she and Data were not alone, she hovered at the back of the room and her blush of embarrassment could be seen even from there. 

Data turned around to face her. ‘Beverly and Deanna wished to check on you,’ he said, ‘please come and sit with us.’

She made her way over slowly and sat down on a chair near to the sofa. ‘I guess I’m in a lot of trouble,’ she assumed, her tone wary.

‘Of course not,’ Troi replied.

‘You are going to have to sit there and let me check you over,’ Crusher said, putting her tea down at once and then standing. ‘It won’t take long.’

Kristen shrugged. ‘Okay. I’m not in the mood to argue. You would not _believe_ how badly my head is pounding.’

As Crusher took her pulse and blood pressure and then used her tricorder to perform other, more intricate assessments, Troi drank her tea and used her telepathic abilities to determine the mental state her friend was in.

 _I am so humiliated right now,_ Kristen was thinking, _and I feel like death. I didn’t eat a thing yesterday and I don’t think I can eat today either. My stomach feels like it’s been turned inside out by all the vomiting I did last night. Data must think I’m crazy because he’s just not used to seeing people behave as I behaved. He must be ashamed of me too. Crusher will think I’m an idiot because she’s a doctor and she’ll believe me to be weak or immature. Deanna will feel sorry for me and that’s not what I need. But do I even know what I need? A lobotomy would be nice…_

‘You need to eat,’ Crusher said, ‘your blood sugar is crashing. You have low protein levels and your vitamin and mineral count comes up as severely deficient.’ She put her tricorder back into the box of her medi-kit. ‘I’m going to replicate you some breakfast right now.’

Kristen turned green. ‘I’d rather have some coffee… I still feel terribly queasy…’

‘I’ll bring you something you can drink instead of solid food,’ Crusher replied, and that was that, it seemed.

Kristen was handed a heavy glass of something blue and sweet-smelling a few seconds later. Troi was pleasantly surprised when the young woman started to sip from it without argument. She was likely far too tired to put up a protest and would also know that Crusher would insist on her drinking all of it. Troi checked the time and realised she had a couple of hours before Lore would be arriving at her office for his daily session and so she put her mind to deciding on how best she could aid her friend within that timeframe. 

An idea came to her quite quickly. Before Kristen had been kidnapped, one of her favourite places on the _Enterprise_ had been the ship’s school, according to her records. That was what had helped develop her interest in child psychology. It was somewhere neutral they could talk and somewhere Kristen would hopefully feel relaxed and comfortable. She suggested the idea and both Crusher and Data thought it was productive.

‘I’d rather go back to bed,’ Kristen said, ‘you can have no idea how hungover I am.’

Troi smiled. ‘We’ll spend some time together there and then I’ll walk you back either here or to your own rooms. I think a walk and a couple of hours somewhere different would be good for you,’

‘A rest is as good as a change,’ Kristen countered, shades of her past as a Counselor filtering in.

Crusher laughed a little. ‘Therapists are always the worst patients, after doctors,’ she commented.

Kristen sighed. ‘I don’t want to be a pain…’

‘Then finish your breakfast and we’ll go for that walk,’ Troi said.

Kristen shrugged. ‘Okay.’

*

Data said goodbye to her out in the corridor. Crusher had left already, needing to return to sickbay to tend to her usual duties, and Counselor Troi moved away to give them some privacy. Kristen felt terrible both inside and out but after her performance last night she knew she owed at least a little co-operation to those who cared about her. 

‘I will be on the bridge,’ Data said, holding her hands in his, ‘but should you need me, you have your comm badge and you know what to do.’

Kristen nodded, her eyelids heavy with tiredness. ‘I always need you, Data,’ she said.

His pale face was crossed with unmistakable gratitude. ‘I need you also,’ he replied.

‘Thank you for putting up with me last night. I know I was out of line,’

‘Your apologetic tone and words of regret are unwarranted,’ he said.

‘No, they’re not. I was a fool last night. I was just so confused… and I won’t excuse myself, but…’

Data squeezed her hands and then he moved a little closer to her. ‘I am always here for you. Even before we were lovers and partners, we were friends. Good friends. Close friends. That much is still vital to me. You are very important to me, Kristen. I am _always_ here, for whatever you might need.’

She managed a smile for him. ‘Thank you.’

He kissed her on the cheek. ‘I must go. Will you contact me later?’

‘I’ll try to,’

‘Alright.’ He let go of her hands then. ‘I hope you will have some time to rest,’

‘Me too,’

‘Farewell,’ he said, ‘for now.’

Kristen watched him start to walk away. ‘Bye sweetie,’ she said.

Data paused. She’d not used that term of endearment since before they’d been separated. He looked to her, returned her small smile, and then he turned again and got on his way.

Troi moved to Kristen’s side then. ‘Are you ready?’ she asked.

‘Sure,’ Kristen replied.

At the ship’s school, it was time for recess. Mrs Ernorr was shepherding the children out of the room so that they could head to wherever their parents had arranged; whether it be their home quarters, TenForward or even the holodeck. Some would remain at the school to eat lunch and Kristen worried about that as she stood by and observed a swarm of semi-familiar children stream past her and out into the corridors. Really, she was unsure as to why Deanna wanted them to come here, even if it had been explained to her in roundabout terms. 

Mrs Ernorr tried not to stare but Kristen felt the weight of her gaze as minutes ticked by. She knew she looked different now because of her red eyes and positronic implants. One would have to be blind not to note the changes in her physical appearance, let alone the internal shifts that made her personal life so painful and complicated. To her old acquaintance, she knew she must look like an aberration instead of the woman she used to be. The scrutiny did not last too long, thanks to Troi’s polite suggestion that the schoolteacher go and take a break before recess was over, and as soon as she was gone Kristen breathed a sigh of relief.

They went to sit at a table together. The chairs were small, given that they were meant for children, but they settled in them all the same. The table was strewn with artwork – colourful impressions in crayon left on sheets of paper – and also littered with toys and homework notes. 

‘How are you feeling?’ Troi asked.

‘Hungover,’ Kristen replied, ‘and like I don’t belong here. A thing like me shouldn’t be in a place where children come to learn and play,’

‘I thought that we should come to a non-threatening place. It’s also somewhere where much of this began,’ Troi said.

‘That’s true. I was fascinated by child psychology when I used to come here. Plus, I enjoyed just being with the kids.’ Kristen moved her hands over the drawings in front of her – cats and domestic dwellings, giraffes and elephants, the _Enterprise_ , a Klingon targ, a nebula, a raven, a surreal portrait of Picard standing on a mountaintop. ‘Do they still have Captain Picard Day?’ she asked.

Troi laughed. ‘I don’t know. I hope so.’

Kristen smiled. ‘He might be stiff and formal most of the time but he’s been wonderfully paternal with me when I’ve needed it… he came to coax me out of the conduit system but when we talked in there, he ended up holding me when I was sobbing my heart out and it was… healing,’

‘He’s not a cold man these days,’ Troi replied, ‘when I first met him, he was deathly afraid of children and familial scenarios,’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. He could barely handle the company of Wesley Crusher, despite the past he has with Beverly. His presence on the bridge was resented. Jean-Luc used to snap at him and tell him to shut up.’

Kristen remembered Wesley in full then. She hadn’t thought of Beverly’s only child in a long time. She smiled to herself as she continued to look through the drawings in front of her. ‘Wesley performed a miracle when he brought Dolan back to life,’ she reminisced, ‘do you remember Dolan? He was just another person that Lore betrayed,’

‘Will keeps in touch with him,’ Troi replied, ‘he and Katalia are doing well.’

Kristen felt fuzzy inside with nostalgia. She was just about to further her enquiries as to their wellbeing when some movement at the other side of the table distracted her. A tiny head popped up and a pair of innocent eyes followed.

Troi smiled. ‘Hello Victoria. How long have you been there?’

‘Since you came in,’ the little girl replied, ‘I heard Mrs Ernorr say that Kristen was going to come by today and I wanted to see her.’

Kristen blinked, not knowing what to say. Before she’d been taken, she’d been developing a bond with this child. She remembered Victoria drawing pictures for her, leaping into her arms for cuddles and that time when they’d had imaginary tea together. Data had come and had joined in. It had been so adorable. But now… Kristen felt like Frankenstein’s monster and was sure that Victoria must be afraid of how she looked. Too much had changed. She had changed. Everything was different.

‘I should leave,’ she said, starting to get up, ‘this isn’t right. It’s not appropriate…’

‘Please don’t go,’ Victoria said, anguish touching her eyes, ‘I’ve missed you.’

Kristen shook her head. ‘You don’t understand. I’m not the Kristen you remember.’

Victoria moved around the table and came to stand in front of her. ‘I asked after you again and again when you went away. Mrs Ernorr told me you were working somewhere else but that since you came home you’ve been unwell. Is that why you have funny coloured eyes now?’

Troi put her hand to Kristen’s back and eased her into her seat once more. ‘Stay,’ she whispered, ‘this could be good for you.’

Kristen sighed. ‘Yes, I’ve been sick,’ she improvised, not knowing how else to explain her situation to this sweet-natured young girl.

Victoria nodded. ‘I was sick once. It was horrible. I had to have medicine that tasted like peas.’

Troi smiled again. ‘Why don’t you get a chair and sit down with us?’

‘Alright!’ Victoria smiled too and pulled a chair over at once, hopping onto it. Kicking her legs excitedly, she put her hands to the lip of the table and continued to watch Kristen. ‘What are those things stuck to your head? The things with the flashy lights?’ she asked, ‘are they to help you get better?’

‘Not exactly,’ Kristen replied.

‘You look sad. Do you feel very ill?’

‘Yes, you could say that,’

‘That’s alright. I get sad when I’m ill too.’ Victoria reached for some sheets of blank paper and some crayons. She pushed them over to Kristen and then looked at her expectantly. 

‘What would you like me to do with these?’ Kristen asked.

‘Let’s draw and colour together. It will take your mind off how sick you feel,’ Victoria said, taking a sheet of paper for herself.

‘That’s a very good idea,’ Troi encouraged.

Kristen felt uncomfortable with this at first but when the little girl quietened and began to scribble pictures of stickmen and stars and rainbows, she willed herself to relax. She picked up a red crayon and started a doodle of her own – two circles, not unlike her own eyes. She allowed the point of the crayon to turn around and around until the circles were coloured in completely and then she drew more circles, some bigger or smaller than others. 

‘I’m not scared of you,’ Victoria said, as she started to work on a purple flower, ‘Alloma said I might be if you were so different now but I knew I wouldn’t be. You’re still you.’ Kristen looked up. Victoria was staring down at her picture. Her tongue was poking out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated. ‘I wish that you didn’t feel sad. You don’t deserve to feel sad. It’s not your fault that you got sick.’

Kristen could feel Troi’s eyes on her but she didn’t look her way. She couldn’t bear to. ‘It’s not the same sickness as the sort you might have experienced,’ she said, ‘my sickness isn’t a tummy ache or a headache or anything similar.’

Victoria hummed a little. ‘It doesn’t matter. Sick is sick.’ She looked up then. ‘Have you seen Doctor Crusher? When I had the Jethurnian flu she and Nurse Alyssa took good care of me. I had to stay in the sickbay for a bit, which was kinda weird. I was all hot and sweaty. Then it went away very suddenly. It was so strange.’ She smiled. ‘Doctor Crusher might be able to give you some medicine? Have you asked her?’

Sighing, Kristen put down her crayon. ‘I’m sick in my head, not in my body,’ she revealed, and then instantly wished she had not. This was precisely why she hadn’t thought this reunion to be appropriate. She was hungover, riddled with guilt and confusion, and really shouldn’t be in the company of young children.

Victoria put her crayon down too. ‘You are so sad that it has made you sick,’ she stated, ‘my Mummy gets like that sometimes. She has to lie down until she feels better.’

‘When is recess over?’ Kristen asked, glancing to Troi very briefly, ‘it has to be soon, right?’

Before Troi could reply, Victoria jumped down from her seat and came over to Kristen. She lifted her arms up and then she used them to climb up onto Kristen’s lap. Stiff with awkwardness, Kristen managed to hold the child in return but it made her want to burst into tears. She felt as though she’d let Victoria down by not being the warm, encouraging teacher’s aide she had once been. Troi got up, picked up the paper and the crayons and then she moved out of the way to give them a few moments alone. 

Victoria gave Kristen another warm squeeze and then pulled back to look up at her. ‘It’s not your fault that you’re sick. You just need some time for the sadness to go away. Even if you have red eyes now and flashy lights on your head, you’re still you,’

‘What makes you say that?’ Kristen asked, swallowing over the lump in her throat.

‘I can tell,’ Victoria replied, with a smile, ‘you have the same face and you smell the same. Your hair is stripy and you have a big frown but you’re still you.’

Kristen released a deep breath. ‘You’re truly not scared of me,’

‘Of course not!’ Victoria giggled. ‘You’re not scary. I like your new eyes. The red is pretty.’

Somehow, Kristen managed a small laugh also. It felt cathartic. 

_From the mouths of babes…_

‘Did you miss me too?’ Victoria asked.

‘I missed a lot about this ship when I was gone,’ Kristen replied, ‘and coming here was once very important to me. One day, I hope I can come back more regularly,’

‘That would be so much fun. We can draw together again! Hey, you know what else?’

‘What else?’ Kristen asked. 

‘I can count to four-hundred now!’ Victoria clapped her hands together.

Kristen leaned forwards and hugged the child again, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. ‘Clever girl,’ she whispered.

They talked on like this for a while longer. So much so, in fact, that Kristen lost track of time and was only roused from this wholesome exchange by the bustle and chatter of the other schoolkids returning from their break. Victoria spotted Eisnon and Alloma come into the room and that was when she slipped into a state of glee and jumped down to run over to them. In her innocence, she’d neglected to say goodbye but Kristen felt that was alright. Her heart had been touched by the acceptance she’d been shown and that much was far more than she’d expected to receive on a day so filled with shame and confusion. 

Troi returned to her then. ‘Shall we head out now?’ she asked, ‘I have to meet Lore for his therapy appointment in ten minutes but I can walk you back to your rooms first.’

Kristen stood up. ‘Sure. Thanks. That would be nice.’

They passed Mrs Ernorr on their way out but didn’t speak to her. Some of the other children said hello and Kristen managed smiles for them. On their way down the corridor, Troi stayed quiet too. They made their way into a turbolift and once the doors shut, Kristen leaned against the rear wall and closed her eyes for a few moments.

‘Nobody is mad at you for getting drunk,’ Troi said, breaking the silence.

‘Guinan will be,’ Kristen replied, opening her eyes again. ‘I worried Data. Lore would think me stupid. I’ve not been terribly mature…’

‘After all you’ve been through and are still trying to work out, I think one night of recklessness is understandable. That said, I hope you don’t turn to alcohol again. Come to me if you need to vent, Kris. If you need to shout and scream about how unfair all of this is, come to me. I’m here.’ 

Kristen exhaled. ‘Thanks. I know you are.’

They exited the turbolift and then Troi walked her to her door. ‘What will you do for the rest of today?’ she asked.

‘Sleep,’ Kristen replied, ‘and then when I wake up, I’ll eat. After that, I guess I’ll just see where I’m drawn to. They both need me, Deanna, and I need both of them.’

Troi smiled wistfully. ‘I’ll have to tell you about Thomas Riker one day. When we have the time,’

‘Will’s brother?’ Kristen asked.

‘No. It doesn’t matter. Not today, anyway.’ Troi patted her on the arm. ‘Get plenty of rest and if you need me for anything at all, just let me know and I’ll be here.’

Kristen smiled. ‘Thanks. I will. I hope Lore goes easy on you today. I can imagine he’s not the easiest of patients to deal with…’

‘He’s making progress,’ Deanna replied, ‘goodbye, Kris,’

‘Bye.’

Troi left her then. Kristen watched her go and then she headed inside her rooms. They were dimly lit and quiet – just the atmosphere she needed. She went to the replicator to get herself some water and then she took it through to her bedroom and got into bed without bothering to take off her clothes. She didn’t want to look at the lovebites on her thighs and stomach. Seeing them in the bath that morning had been difficult enough. When she had drunk down her water, she put the glass to one side and then she pulled the bedcovers over her head and closed her eyes. 

Within seconds, her troubled thoughts had drifted away on a tide of exhaustion and she was fast asleep.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Depending on feedback, I may well publish again this week. So please do take a moment to let me know what you think :) Cheers!


	45. Brothers

As soon as Data was relieved of duty for the night, he left the bridge and headed into the turbolift. During his journey to deck nine, he asked the computer to tell him where Kristen was. She was in her own rooms and when he asked if she was asleep and was given an affirmative response, he felt a dip of disappointment inside. He’d hoped that he might get to see her but if she was resting then there was no way he was going to disturb her. 

He wondered what he should do with himself. Geordi was pulling a double-shift in Engineering and though he could easily head there to lend a hand, he really wasn’t in the mood to work through the night or be in the company of more than a few people at one time. If Geordi had been free, he might have suggested some time alone to talk. He could certainly do with getting a few thoughts and feelings off his chest and to his best friend especially but it was not to be. Data headed straight for his quarters instead and when he was in there, he fed Spot and then went to his workstation to check some reports. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about Kristen but there was nothing new there. He toyed with the idea of contacting Robert Harper to bring him up to speed with recent happenings but then found he couldn’t bear the thought of telling him that his kid sister had downed a full bottle of El Aurian tequila and had had to be carried out of the ship’s bar. Robert was worried enough as it was. He didn’t need to be given every minute detail of Kristen’s pain and suffering. 

Data sat back in his seat and stared into space for a while. Spot jumped up into his arms and he held her, hardly noticing her presence. He stroked her fur absent-mindedly as she relived sights of Kristen shaking and vomiting, her teeth chattering, her forehead stippled with a cold sweat. He was glad he had been the one to take care of her. It might have been a horribly worrying situation but being afforded the right to hold her and soothe her after so much absence and rejection had been rich indeed. Taking care of her was a pleasure, even if witnessing her agony was certainly not.

She was in love with him again and there was no doubt of that. She was in love with Lore too of course but to be back in her heart was wonderful. He hated that her recalling their past was conflicting her all the more but could not deny the relief he felt at being wanted again by her. It was almost too good to be true. That she had called him ‘sweetie’ before Troi had escorted her to the ship’s school was unnerving in how hard it had hit his heart. That one word, such a simple term of endearment, had affected him far more than he had shown. It was giving, accepting, it was affectionate and it was also a throwback to times when she’d called him that frequently. Times he craved and longed for every day.

Data realised he was sitting in complete silence when he managed to pull himself out of lovesick nostalgia and so he asked the computer to play something. Various suggestions were made, the usual layer upon layer of arias and compositions, but as he thought about music in general he remembered Kristen playing his violin. 

‘Computer, could you play a recording of that? It should be easily located within the security channel feedback based in my quarters,’

‘File located, Commander,’

‘Play now.’

All conversation, before and after the piece, had been filtered out. All that could be heard was Kristen tuning the instrument to her satisfaction and then that astonishing ten or so minutes where she had performed La Follia to absolute perfection. Data noted every subtle nuance her fingers conjured, the expertise of her bowing, even the softest of inflections as she brought new magic to an antiquated piece. It was as though she’d been playing all of her life. Each and every note was hit with precision and heart. In a sense, it was hard to listen to. Data remembered how desperate she had been. But it was also beautiful, too beautiful. 

He was listening to the recording for the fourth consecutive time when he heard a signal at his door. He set Spot down, asked the computer to halt the music and stood up. It was gone midnight and he knew that most of the ship’s compliment would be fast asleep by then. It had to be Kristen, surely. Who else would come to him so late? Or was he being too sentimental because of the music that had enraptured his soul for the past forty minutes? He hoped it was her. He wanted to see if she had rested, if she had eaten, if she was alright.

But when he touched the panel by the door, his brother was standing there instead of his beloved. Data was stunned. He stared at Lore, unsure what to say or do.

Lore raised his eyebrows. ‘Quit eyeballing me and invite me in, will you? I need to talk to you,’ he said.

Data shook his head. ‘I do not wish to talk to you,’ he replied.

‘Well, that’s too bad. I’m worried about Kris and after a few things I was told today, I need to check out some facts. So let me in.’

Lore made to enter but Data held up a hand, stopping him where he stood. ‘No,’ he said, ‘anything you wish to discuss about Kristen can be discussed here and briefly so. I do not want you in my quarters,’

‘You’d rather talk about her here? Where anyone walking past could listen in? I know a thing or two about gossip on this ship and unless you want people dishing the dirt on Kris and what’s been going on with her over the past few days in public, I’d get the hell out of the way and let me in right now,’ Lore snapped, losing his composure, ‘I’m not here to make friends with you. This isn’t a family reunion, Data. I need to talk in private with you about Kris. Stop being a prick.’

Data paused for a long moment and then he slowly moved out of the way. Lore strode in immediately and took a look about the place. Cold amusement crossed his features for a minute or less as he surveyed his surroundings and then it drifted away and his brow creased with worry. Data observed that concern, seeing for himself that concern for Kristen was truly at the forefront of his older brother’s thoughts. 

‘Proceed,’ Data said, ‘and make it quick. What do you wish to know?’

‘ _Proceed?_ ’ Lore echoed, ‘don’t talk to me like I’m part of your staff,’

‘Do not advise me on how to address you. I did not invite you here and I want nothing to do with you. Ask me what you came here to ask and then leave,’ Data snapped.

Lore’s eyes narrowed. ‘I had a long session with Troi today. Once we were done talking about the usual stuff I asked her what was going on with Kris. She told me she’s been sick. She told me that she got drunk. How did that happen? What’s going on with her?’ 

It angered Data immensely that Lore was standing before him like this, demanding information about a woman he had tortured and abused. Data loved that woman in question with all of his heart and had never, could never, hurt her. He stayed still for a moment, trying to stay calm, and didn’t say a word. Lore gestured at him, flippant to the last, trying to make him force out the facts he wanted to hear. 

‘This isn’t about us,’ Lore snarled, ‘this is about Kris. I want to know what happened to her!’

‘You really have no right to know,’ Data bit.

There was a sour smile then. ‘Alright. Alright, little brother. I suppose I’ll just go then. I’ll go to TenForward and I’ll ask the bar staff there and anyone else around who might have seen her get drunk. I can’t imagine where else she might have found alcohol. If you’re going to be possessive and ridiculous, I’ll head there right now and start asking questions.’

He didn’t move. Data didn’t either. ‘I thought that you did not want her private business to be discussed with others?’ Data managed to ask.

‘I don’t. But if you won’t spill the facts, what choice do I have?’ Lore shot back.

The anger seemed brighter for a moment and then it dulled suddenly. Data went over to the sofa and sat down, trying to focus on how Kristen would want a conversation of this nature to go. She wouldn’t want them to snipe and battle; she would want them to be calm and adult. She wouldn’t be able to handle any conversation they might share to lead to more trouble. ‘Sit down,’ Data said, nodding at a nearby chair.

Lore took that seat at once. ‘Just talk to me,’ he implored, ‘I didn’t come here to fight.’

Data processed his rawer feelings, held them down, took a breath. ‘Yesterday morning, you waited for Kristen outside of these rooms and you dragged her back to your quarters. When her time with you was over, she left. She headed to TenForward,’

‘Yeah, I know that. Go on,’ Lore said.

‘She and Guinan shared a conversation. I do not know the details of what they discussed. All I know is that she was upset when she arrived. That mood led her to requiring a strong drink but when she persuaded Guinan to give her alcohol and she had one or two shots, it led to her wanting more. She imbibed a bottle of tequila and-’

‘A whole bottle of tequila?’ Lore interrupted.

‘Yes,’

‘Stupid girl,’ he said, but he did not say that with derision. He sounded fraught.

Data frowned. ‘Kristen is _not_ stupid. She is deeply conflicted. Had you not dragged her from these rooms and overwhelmed her with confusion, she might have stood a chance at managing her feelings. I believe that you are responsible for the dark mood that overcame her. What did you do to her? What did you say?’

Lore watched him for a moment and then he sighed and rubbed his face with both hands. ‘I needed some time with her,’ he said, pained, ‘and you know what I did to her when we were alone. She must have told you because she’s a sweet and honest creature. You must have seen the marks I left on her just like I saw the marks you left on her. Let’s not play games, Data. We’re both fully aware of what’s happening here. We’re both in love with her and she’s in love with both of us.’

The anger shimmered again. Data was not a vitriolic person by nature, had never been the sort of man to prioritise bitterness and personal injustice over what was fair, but Lore’s intrusion on the only love affair he’d ever genuinely experienced was becoming too much to take. He could handle it, to some extent, when discussing it with Kristen, but discussing it with Lore was infuriating. 

‘What?’ Lore said, his mouth pulling into a lopsided smile, ‘what’s the matter?’

‘Kristen’s descent into depression and self-destruction is the matter,’ Data snapped.

The smile faded then. ‘Yeah, I know,’ Lore said.

‘What did you say to her?’ Data asked, ‘I know that you told her she was a whore,’

‘Yeah. We fought. I shouted at her. I said cruel things because I get combative when I feel vulnerable. She stood up to me though, if that helps you any. I called her a whore and she smacked me across the face.’

Data ground his teeth. ‘Kristen is not a whore,’

‘I know that, you idiot. I only said it because I was jealous,’ Lore replied. 

‘How could you insult her? You are the one who took her, who kidnapped her. You are the one who tortured her and warped her mind. You razed her memories into nothingness and then you re-invented her as though she was a piece of property instead of a human being,’

‘I’ve heard all of this before,’

‘There is not one single injury, not one single crime that you have not inflicted upon her. Even when she strives to discover who she used to be you cannot allow her some dignity and respect. You waited here for her and then you forced her to accompany you to your rooms. You degraded her verbally and broke her until she felt the need to drown her sorrows in an entire bottle of alcohol,’ Data ranted. His hands were clenched and his heart was thudding. ‘What will it take to satisfy you? She is depressed and broken, Lore. Is that not enough? You feign concern and claim that you care for her, that you love her, but when you are alone with her the abuse continues. I am not surprised that she hit you. I am glad that she did.’

Lore took that in, nodding slowly. 

‘I have seen the contents of unit 24-E. I hinted at that with you during a previous conversation we shared but I want you to know that I saw all of it. When Kristen and I were interfaced, I opened that unit and I witnessed everything she was forced to endure,’ Data added.

Lore froze then. His face became so still that it was almost eerie. Data watched his brother, knowing that what he had just said must have hit him harder than any verbal chastisement ever could. He saw how Lore’s hands slowly tensed, how his back slowly straightened. Then Lore lifted his head and their eye contact resumed. ‘You won’t believe this… but there are things I have done that I regret,’ he said, in a low tone.

‘It is a miracle that Kristen survived her surgery. Not the initial surgeries, where you interrogated her and forced her to talk about her life, but the ones that changed her. You removed her arms and legs. You removed her eyes,’

‘I know I did. I know that you saw-’

‘I saw all of it. I saw the blood. I saw her agony. It is a miracle that she survived.’

Lore looked up at the ceiling then. ‘Why do you think I begged her not to open that file?’

‘Because if she does that, it will send her into shock so deep it might destroy her. Because she will hate you. Because she will see you for who you really are,’ Data replied.

‘And who am I, Data?’ Lore asked, still gazing upwards, ‘do you know? Have we ever spent enough time together to truly figure that out? Do you know me?’

Data leaned forwards in his seat. ‘This is not about you. For once, this is _not_ about _you_. This is about Kristen and all of the pain and terror you have forced upon her!’

Lore faced him then. ‘I agree,’ he said.

‘I can never fully recover the woman she was before you abducted her. I can never heal the wounds you have caused her. I took care of her last night when she cried and vomited and shook. She was so cold her teeth were chattering. She was twisted in pain,’

‘Because of me,’ Lore said.

‘Because of you,’ Data replied.

‘I’m sorry.’

Those words were so surreal that they had no substance. Data barely felt them. He sat back in his seat again, wondering if he’d imagined what he’d just heard.

Lore sighed. ‘I said that I’m sorry,’ he repeated. 

‘A person who does not understand love cannot understand remorse,’ Data heard himself say.

‘You really think that I don’t love her?’ Lore asked, ‘have you ever seen me make such an ass of myself over anyone else but her? Have you ever seen me submit myself to therapy? To try and better myself? Have you ever known me to actively reject my old ways in favour of positive change?’ 

‘No, I have not,’ Data replied.

‘I’m not doing this because I’ve had a sudden epiphany and I want to become a goody two-shoes for no real reason. I’m still cruel, Data. I’m still me. I’m doing this because I want to deserve her. I never expected to meet anyone that might want me to be worthy, real, true. But then I took your bride-to-be and whilst we were together on Terlina III, she affected me. She listened to me. She got to know me. She wasn’t looking to use me for self-gain and she wasn’t trying to change me either. She _listened_ to me. I opened up to her. I let myself feel.’

Data started to rub his thumb over the nail of his forefinger; an effort at calming himself. He did not want to hear this but he _had_ to hear it at the same time. Truthfully, he had known for some time that Lore genuinely loved Kristen but it didn’t make it easy to sit through such confessions.

‘When the surgery was over and she woke up as what she is now, she did something to me. I was already under her spell but when she was my pet… she was so sweet. She needed me. Ria had needed me at one time but all of that was so different. Ria had a daughter, she was trapped on a planet whose people treated her as though she was livestock instead of a real person. She thought she was in love with me, but she was in love with the idea of freedom. Or maybe she was truly in love with me, I don’t know. All I do know is that I didn’t trust her. We had some good times but it wasn’t enough for me. I felt used.’ 

Data tilted his head, still listening.

‘Every woman I have ever been with has made me feel used. Data… have you never been intimate with a woman who has used you for their own gain? Their own pleasure?’ Lore asked.

Data rubbed his forefinger again. ‘Yes, I have,’ he replied.

‘I find that hard to believe,’ Lore said, even though his tone was not mocking, ‘are you sure about that?’

‘I _have_ been used,’ Data said, his voice tighter now, ‘and on more than one occasion. A trusted friend used me for sex when she was not herself and when it was over she told me it never happened. She dismissed the event because she was embarrassed,’ 

‘Right…’

‘When I was captured by the Borg, their Queen used me also. She manipulated me physically, emotionally and sexually to further her maniacal ambition. The only sex I had before Kristen was false. It was not because of love, it was because I served a purpose. Tasha used me for pleasure and then the Borg Queen used me to benefit her plans for the Borg collective. Kristen taught me what making love is truly about. She took care of me. She loved me. She still does.’

Lore ran a hand through his hair. ‘Then you should understand how I feel about her. She did the same for me. She made me feel real emotion, real love. Only you and I can know what that means. Before her, I felt used. I had a lot of sex with a lot of women but when it came down to it, I know they were only going to bed with me because they wanted to know what it was like to fuck an android.’ 

Data almost flinched at those words. He hated that he and Lore had shared such similar experiences, sharing anything with him at all was painful, but it could not be denied that being used was something they definitely had in common.

‘Kristen is a technosexual but it isn’t shallow,’ Lore continued, ‘it’s part of her soul, her spirit. She’s too kind to use either one of us for pleasure and too sweet and loving to even realise that she has a fetish of this type. She truly loves us and not because she’s excited by what we are. She sees us as nobody else ever has. She treats us like we’re real, like we’re human. I’m responsible for the fear her Father forced upon her when she was young but the result of it is pure. She was scared of androids for a long time but then she met you. She met you and… realised herself.’

Data noticed that they had stopped arguing and that they were conversing instead. He realised it only then; when they were analysing the woman they both loved in this way. There was tension in the atmosphere but when they were talking like this, it was kept at bay. Respect for Kristen was winning out over past hurts.

‘She realised herself,’ Lore said, ‘and that led her to realising you also. She accepted herself and you at the same time,’

‘She was nervous around me when I was her patient,’ Data conceded, ‘but as our sessions multiplied, our attraction grew. I fell in love with her first but I could also tell that she was fond of me in return. We developed a friendship. We grew closer… and we fell in love.’

Lore nodded. ‘As much as I resent you, even I can’t deny that she adores you. When I reinvented her, I struggled to erase you from her mind. You were the sole factor she clung onto. She didn’t recall her family or her friends or her career. She didn’t even recognise her Father’s paintings. She was obsessed with you. It broke my heart.’

Data thought for a long moment. ‘You took her because you wanted to destroy me… and then her love for me destroyed you. You fell for her. You love her.’

Lore stood up then. Data watched him as he moved away from the seating area and went to stand in the centre of the lounge. There was silence for a while. Lore took his time, no doubt processing all they were sharing, and then he went to stand at the rear of the room. He rested against the wall there, his face expressionless. His restlessness spelled out the rawness of his feelings.

‘There are many things we’ll never agree on,’ Lore said, ‘you’ll never understand my life on Omicron Theta and what I had to endure there. You’ll never know why I forged a bond with the Crystalline Entity and let it feed on the colonists. You’ll never understand my behaviour when we were both called to Terlina III when Soong was dying and wanted to give you your emotion chip. I won’t ask you to forgive me for killing him because you could _never_ understand what he put me through. You and I… we were treated so differently. We look like identical twins but our lives have been so radically different. You’ll never understand what I did to the rogue Borg and why I manipulated you… why I tried to unite us…’

Data continued to watch his brother, entranced by this outpouring of truths.

‘You’ll never understand me and I’ll never understand you… but one thing we must agree on is that we both want Kristen to be alright. I’ve done terrible, unspeakable things to her but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her. Do you remember what I said to you about feelings, Data? They’re funny things. They change like the weather. They move like the wind.’

Data was moved, not that he’d ever admit it. ‘I know,’ he said.

‘You do. Of course you do. You have feelings now. You’ve had them for years,’ Lore replied.

‘The last time we were united, you used my feelings against me. I could not make sense of them. I did not know what I was processing. You manipulated me. Every emotion you made me feel was negative in context. I felt hateful, angry, vindictive…’ 

‘Yeah. I can’t deny that,’

‘Years passed between what happened on Ohniaka III and when the emotion chip was recovered and installed in my neural net. I experienced so much. I had time to figure out human emotion and how to apply it to my life so far. It was a confusing period. I felt grief and pain. I mourned the loss of Lal and Tasha and Doctor Soong. I was troubled by even the smallest of emotional states. Food and drink would confuse me. Music was hard to bear,’ 

‘When I was activated, I had my chip from the start. It must have been weird living your whole life without feelings and then being given all of that in one go. When I triggered emotion in you, I only let you have a little bit of it and it was never constant. Having that chip fitted and then activated must have been… difficult. The influx of emotion must have overwhelmed you,’ Lore said.

‘It was intense and not at all easy,’ Data agreed, ‘when Kristen was assigned to me as a Counselor, she helped me with the depression I had succumbed to. She helped me make sense of the dark phase I was in. She changed all of it… she brought light into that darkness… she healed me.’

Lore sniffed then and Data looked to him, surprised. It seemed as though his brother was moved by all he was revealing but that much seemed too odd to be real. Data knew that there was only bitterness between them so why would Lore react this way? Lore wiped one eye with a hand and then he leaned against the wall again and settled once more into a watchful posture, his arms folded. Data could not stop staring.

‘What?’ Lore said, defensively so, ‘are you so surprised that I can feel sympathy? Surely that should be apparent to you by now. If I didn’t feel sympathy, how could I ever truly care about Kris? How could I regret what I put her through? What I’m still putting her through?’

Data did not know what to say.

‘I hate what I did to her. I wish I could undo it but I can’t.’ 

Data was still, caught in what he was seeing and hearing.

‘I made Kristen need me because I know what it feels like to need someone. I wanted to give someone all of the care and love I had never received. I wanted to take care of her. That’s why I made her into my pet. I wanted to nurture her.’

Memories of Doctor Soong rose up, as did reflections on all of the negative things Lore had said about him. It was hard for Data to view his Father as a neglectful parent but it was even harder to deny that fact when his brother was standing right in front of him and once again sharing aspects of the pain he felt. 

‘I know that this situation isn’t about me,’ Lore continued, staring down at the floor, eyes glistening, ‘and that I’m not here right now to talk about what turned me into the fucked up person I am… but whilst I’m here and we’re venting, I need you to understand that our Father wasn’t perfect. He was kind to you. He loved you. He treated you with patience and respect. I didn’t get that start in life, Data. My formative years were chaotic and I was abused and bullied. Father didn’t care. Or if he did care, he didn’t show it. I don’t think he had any idea what he’d created when he switched me on. He was blindsided by his success and protecting me, even noticing that I had needs and that I was vulnerable, wasn’t a priority,’

‘I have always known that you were angry,’ Data said, ‘and that you felt as though he abandoned you. I cannot deny that our experiences with our Father are different,’

‘That’s putting it mildly. Think about it, brother. He was kind and patient with you and how did you turn out? Kind and patient. You turned out great. He was largely indifferent to my struggles and he exhibited a cool lack of concern towards my pain. How did I turn out? What did I become?’

Data tilted his head again. Lore was simplifying their lives and identities but that much made it easier to understand the point he was trying to make. ‘I am sorry that you suffered,’ he managed to say.

Lore looked up from the floor. Their eyes connected. ‘It’s not you who should apologise. Our Father is the one who should have made up for what he did to me. But he didn’t, Data. He ignored my entire existence whilst he worked his ass off creating your emotion chip. If we were human beings, his prioritising you and neglecting me would have resulted in criminal prosecution,’

‘Our Mother conceded that if we had been human, we would never have been abandoned.’

Lore nodded. ‘You’re still in touch with her, aren’t you?’ he asked.

‘Yes.’ 

Lore rolled his eyes. ‘Of course,’

‘Do you wish to re-connect with her?’

‘Definitely not. I want nothing to do with her or our Father’s memory,’ Lore snapped. Then he sighed and shook his head at himself. ‘Truthfully… there will always be a part of me that will want her approval and the chance to show her that I’m not just faulty equipment but… if I’m ever going to make something of myself, going back to a parent I felt dismissed by would only hold me back. I need to move on. I need to move on from her and from the way that Father screwed up my youth but it’s not easy. I talk to Troi about it every day. We’ve talked about it for hours and hours.’

Data didn’t want to see humanity in the person who had wrecked Kristen’s life but he didn’t have it in him to reduce Lore to a being who was deserving of all the rejection he’d received either. ‘I will not tell our Mother anything about you, if that is what you wish,’ he said.

‘Don’t tell her anything,’ Lore agreed, ‘I don’t want her to know about me or my life. She doesn’t deserve to know. I am _not_ her son.’

Data nodded. ‘I understand,’

‘Good,’

‘Do you believe that your therapy will help you to change?’ he asked.

‘It is already,’ Lore replied, ‘you know I’m not who I used to be. This is my penance for the things I’ve done… and it’s the least I can do for Kris. After all I’ve put her through and all she’s forgiven me for, the least I can do is try to be a better man. I’ve got an ethical subroutine now, as you well know. You gave it to me. That much has also affected me. I’m seeing certain aspects of my existence as I never have before. Being capable of feeling guilt is… well, it’s eye-opening to say the least,’

‘I hope that your efforts will pay off. To strive for betterness is a worthwhile cause,’ Data replied.

Lore moved away from the wall then. He went back to his chair and slouched onto it, his expression filled with contemplation. There was silence and within it, Data assessed everything they were talking about. Over the years, he had spoken to his brother about a number of things but they had never been as open as they were being right now, not ever. He thought of that night in Soong’s lab – the things Lore had said to their Father. He relived the angst and the anger, the frustration. Data had been sidetracked by Lore’s lies but he had still been listening to the exchange. It was hard to forget how hurt his brother had been.

Data couldn’t hate their Father, even though he was facing up to the ways he had let Lore down, but he did feel a sense of clarity sinking into him. It was uncomfortable but Data knew he couldn’t be ignorant about these issues anymore. 

‘I apologise for allowing your legs to be fitted to my body,’ he said, the words tumbling out of him, ‘and I also apologise for allowing you to be buried on Terlina III. I knew you were not dead. It was the wrong thing to do. It should not have occurred.’

Lore raised his eyebrows. ‘We can’t change any of it now. It’s just another thing I need to get over,’ he said.

‘Do you accept my apologies?’

‘Yeah, I suppose so. If I didn’t, Kris would disapprove. She’d want me to forgive you,’

‘She will want the best for you. It is her nature,’ Data replied.

There was a small, bitter laugh. ‘What the hell are we going to do?’ Lore asked, ‘we’re driving her crazy and neither one of us will quit how we feel about her. You’ve loved her for a long time. I love her enough to let it change me. We can’t give up but that much will destroy her,’

‘The situation is dire,’ Data agreed, ‘if either one of us stepped back to let the other claim her, her feelings would not alter. If I removed myself from the situation, she would still love me. If you did the same, she would still love you,’

‘That’s the sad truth, alright.’ Lore ran a hand through his hair again. 

‘I do not believe there is a solution to any of this,’ Data added.

‘All I know is that I need to take it easy on her. I didn’t mean to fuck her up to the extent of her needing to drink herself to oblivion, Data. You have to believe me when I say that I didn’t want to hurt her. There’s been enough pain. Before she left my quarters, I could tell something was wrong. I asked her to stay so I could take care of her but it was too late. I’ve been worried sick about her. She’s all I think about when I’m not in therapy. When I’m not talking about my past, she’s the one thing on my mind. I can’t work out how to help her… how to make this easier on her…’

Data felt the same way. ‘We must be patient,’ he replied, ‘and we must not pressure her. If you feel confused and angry about anything she does or says, you must keep it to yourself and manage your struggles internally. Stoicism will benefit her. If you can be strong, it will show her that she can rely on you. It will show her that you are capable of more than hurting her and that you value her freedom.’

Lore thought for a long moment. ‘When I came here today, the last thing I expected was for us to end up being civil with one another… and I certainly didn’t expect you to advise me on anything to do with her. I know you must hate me for what I did. I hate myself for what I did and what I’m still doing to her. Had I never taken her, she’d be living a happy life with you. I’ve wrecked everything,’

‘Yes, you have,’ Data agreed, ‘but we cannot change that now. All we can do is be strong for her. I am sure that if she knew we were managing a discussion of this nature without resorting to vitriol, she would be relieved and perhaps even grateful for the lack of conflict or drama. Going forwards, we must do everything we can to make her life easy. I hurt and feel immense pain when she goes to you, but I must accept it. I must accept that she is different and that she has feelings for you. You must accept it when she comes to me also. You cannot erase the past I have with her, nor the fact we mean a lot to one another. She loves us both and so will come to us both, depending on her needs at the time,’

‘You’re right…’

‘That said; if I hear that you have insulted her or manhandled her again in any way, further conversations between us will not be so civil,’ Data warned.

‘And that’s right too,’ Lore conceded, ‘but I won’t insult her. I just want to take care of her.’ 

They appraised one another; two brothers in a mad situation, still opposed and yet managing to be polite and open for the first time in their lives. Data knew it to be one of the most surreal exchanges he’d ever been a part of. He thought about his behaviour on the holodeck – the fact he had ripped Lore to pieces over and over again, risking his safety because of hatred, risking his sanity because of pain. Data could never excuse what his brother had done to Kristen but he had clarity now on what had driven him to become such a wretched individual. It was mind-blowing.

‘What are you thinking?’ Lore asked.

‘I am thinking how odd it is that we have achieved some stability in our relationship tonight,’ Data replied, ‘I will always detest the things you have done, but I wish you no ill-will. I hope that your therapy works and that you are able to rebuild your character and your life,’

‘Really?’

‘It is a most unusual truth,’ Data confirmed.

Lore frowned a little and then he sighed. ‘Well, right back at you, little brother. I’m sorry for the things I’ve done. I hope that when we talk in the future, it’ll be as productive as it’s been tonight,’

‘Agreed,’ Data said.

‘I don’t think we’ll ever be friends but if we can at least agree to not wanting to kill one another, that’s something, right?’

‘Indeed.’

And then they fell into another contemplative silence, this one tinged with introspection that was even deeper than before. Within that silence, Data was reminded of when Q was on the _Enterprise_ , annoying everyone and also being oddly helpful at the same time. Kristen had defended Q. Data had tried to warn her that he was in no way altruistic, that he might harm her if she trusted him, but she’d stuck to her opinions and sworn to give him a chance.

Two specific things she had said about Q crossed his mind. The first was ‘Everyone deserves a second chance. He’s trying to prove a point at the moment, as far as I can tell, and I’m not about to set him up for failure,’ and the second was ‘Sometimes people need support when they deserve it the least.’ Her patience and endurance had worried him immensely but it had also reminded him of how unique she was in her kindness and open-heartedness. Data wondered if he could apply that way of thinking to his situation with Lore. If he could learn from the things she’d taught him. 

He remembered something else also, something that Doctor Crusher had said to him when he had returned to the ship, following both he and Lore being summoned to Terlina III by Doctor Soong. They had been watching the Potts’ brothers playing with the toy dinosaurs Data had given them and Crusher had said two words that had stayed with him for years.

_Brothers forgive._

Data wasn’t sure if he could do that but he knew it was definitely worthy of consideration, as were the words that Kristen had once said about Q. Once again, everything was changing, and in the midst of so much internal conflict and unexpected clarity, Data felt moved by the progress.

*

It was very late when Kristen woke. She felt drained, even though she had rested for hours. Her time at the ship’s school had been helpful but it was done with for now and she was once more in an unusual mindset. 

Climbing out of bed, she kept a blanket wrapped about herself as she went to the replicator and started to order some food. The last of her hangover demanded salty, fatty foods but she knew her stomach couldn’t handle it. Retrieving a bowl of soup and more water, she ate them curled up on the sofa and when she was done, she sat there for a long time as she tried to decide what to do with herself. Or, more honestly, who she wanted to go to.

Kristen did not want to spend the rest of the night awake and alone in her quarters. She had told Lore that she would check in with him at some point and she also felt that she should see Data so she could apologise again for getting drunk. She wondered if she should visit both of them, one at a time, but then she figured that wouldn’t work. Whoever she went to first would affect her emotionally to the extent of where she would find it hard to leave and the other would be neglected until the following day. 

She needed to pick a destination and in doing that, also pick which one of them would have to wait even longer to see her. It was truly upsetting. 

Abandoning her blanket, she went to her bathroom and washed her face with cold water. Then she brushed her hair out and plaited it. Kristen didn’t look in the mirror. She couldn’t bear to face her reflection. The amount of shame and confusion on her shoulders was weighing her down and looking into own eyes intensified that beyond tolerance. As soon as she felt vaguely presentable, she changed into a different outfit and then she wandered around her lounge aimlessly, procrastinating as she tried to figure out whom to go to.

Eventually, though it was very hard, she decided on Data. Lore was trying to better himself but he did not have the kind of patience that Data had. Data made no demands and never added to her malaise by begging her or losing his temper. She couldn’t handle Lore tonight, not when she felt so lost, but she did decide to see him tomorrow. There was no way she’d reject him or leave him alone for too long. 

She left her rooms, her arms loose at her sides and her eyes clouded with depression, and headed down the corridor. In the turbolift, she ignored the officers who were sharing her ride, even though they glanced at her and offered polite smiles. 

Outside Data’s door, she hesitated. He’d definitely want to see her, but would it be good for him? For them both? Kristen didn’t have the answers. She sighed and signalled her arrival.

The doors opened and he stood there, clearly glad to see her. They shared a small smile and she was just about to say hello and ask how he was doing when she saw some movement behind him and realised Lore was standing there. Shock stole any words she was about to speak and so she just stood there, dumbfounded.

‘Would you like to come in?’ Data asked.

_Not if they’ve been fighting. Not if there’s more mess, more chaos. Why are they together? Can I deal with being with them both at the same time? This is weird. This is too weird…_

Lore moved closer. ‘It’s alright, Kris,’ she heard him say, ‘there’s nothing to worry about.’

She looked from citrine eyes to amber eyes and then back to citrine. ‘Uh…’

‘Are you well?’ Data asked, ‘you look anxious.’

She frowned and then she looked to Data. ‘I’ll come in,’ she said, softly so.

The two of them moved out of the way and so Kristen entered. The doors closed. She was so utterly baffled and frightened by this unexpected finding that she still did not know what to say. Sensing that she was uncomfortable, Data gently took her arm and then he helped her to take a seat on the sofa. Then she was brought a cup of coffee. Her hands trembled when she took it from him. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted coffee, but at least it was a starting point.

Lore sat down on a chair opposite her and Data sat down on the same sofa, but with some distance between them. Kristen managed a shaky sip of coffee and then she put the cup down on the table. 

‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

The two of them looked at one another.

‘Lore, why are you here? I hope you didn’t come to start trouble,’ she said.

‘I came to talk to Data,’ he replied, sitting forwards and studying her carefully with his eyes, ‘I heard that you made yourself ill. I was worried. I wanted to find out what happened.’

Kristen laced her hands in her lap. ‘Oh.’

Data tilted his head and she looked to him. ‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know,’ she replied, ‘I agonised over whom to come to tonight… and then I made up my mind and came here… and you’re together. Forgive me, but it’s not something I expected. I hope you haven’t been fighting. We have enough of a struggle on our hands as it is,’

‘We’ve been talking,’ Lore said.

‘Yes. It was rather overdue,’ Data added.

‘And?’ Kristen ventured.

‘You should know that you don’t need to agonise over making a decision on who to go to if you need one of us. If you need me, then great. If you need Data, then… that’s fine. We won’t pressure you. If we’re united on anything it’s that we both want you to be okay,’ Lore said.

Kristen exhaled for a second or two, trying to relax. ‘I appreciate that but it won’t change how I feel inside. The guilt I’m carrying… it’s painful. I feel like a ticking time bomb.’

Data’s face was crossed with sadness. That sadness was mirrored on Lore’s face.

‘I wish that there was a way for me to be with both of you but there isn’t,’ she continued, ‘I will never be able to decide. On a day to day basis, I might be able to live with visiting each of you in turn, but when it comes to a resolution… a permanent outcome that won’t hurt any of us… I don’t think it’s possible. But we can’t go on this way. Not forever. It’s not right. It’s not normal.’

Lore nodded. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he said, ‘I couldn’t leave this vessel even if I wanted to. I don’t want to be anywhere in this universe except for where you are. You know that. If you want to go on with visiting us in turn for now, that could work,’

‘It appears to be the only option,’ Data said.

Kristen rolled her eyes, not with contempt but with annoyance at herself. She was frustrated already and they were both being kind and patient. That patience was disarming but it didn’t help her confusion. ‘No, no, no,’ she said, ‘how could that _work?_ ’

Lore shrugged. ‘We just carry on as we are for the time being. Time might be what you need to ease into a final decision… and when you make that decision, we’ll respect it. We’ve agreed to do whatever we can to make this as easy as possible for you, Kris. Even if it means living with the knowledge that you can’t be with just one of us permanently. Sharing you is better than not having you at all.’

Data looked to Lore and then back to Kristen. ‘I feel that way also. I would much rather share you than be without you.’

She reached for her coffee again and drank some down. Her hands were still trembling. ‘I can never make a final decision. I can’t do that. I love you both. It’s not something that might change someday. I’m not going to wake up one day five or six months from now with the ability to let one of you go. It’s not going to happen. I love you both,’

‘We are at an impasse,’ Data agreed, ‘and as such, we have no choice but to proceed with the situation as it is. It pains me that it hurts you so badly. It certainly is far from easy, Kristen. But what else can we do?’

‘I should let both of you go,’ she said, her throat tightening, ‘if I was a good person, I’d let both of you go. That way you could both find someone better than me and have a chance at real happiness. But I’m mean and I’m selfish. I can’t end what I have with you, Data, and nor can I push you away, Lore. I need both of you. Without you both, I have no reason to go on. I’ve lost my career and my friends treat me like a mental patient. I’m estranged from my family and I’m breaking down inside. I’m adrift out here and the only thing that anchors me is how I feel about you two. You’re all I’ve got.’

Lore got up then and came to sit at her other side. Kristen felt rattled by that. Sitting between them both was unbelievably strange. ‘It’s alright,’ he soothed, not touching her, keeping his distance, ‘I’m not going to say or do anything that will stress you. I just want to sit here, okay?’

‘Okay…’ she managed, putting her coffee down.

He looked over her face, his eyes etched with concern. ‘I’m still very sorry for speaking to you the way I did. I knew something was wrong when you left my quarters. I haven’t helped you, I’ve hindered you. I am truly sorry that I was cruel,’ he said.

Kristen knew he was being truthful. ‘It’s alright. You’re a pain in the arse. It’s nothing new.’

His smile faded. ‘I’m trying not to be…’

‘I know. Apology accepted, Lore. Let’s leave the things you said now. I don’t want to linger on it,’

‘Sure. Whatever you need.’

She looked to Data. He looked back at her, his posture tense and his eyes also filled with worry. ‘Thanks again for taking care of me when I was drunk,’ she said, ‘I still feel horrible about the state I was in. You should never have seen me so… mindless…’

‘It is another eventuality that should be left behind. You never need to apologise to me for anything,’ he replied.

Kristen wished those kind words made her feel better but they didn’t. She looked away from Data and sat there for a moment. She could feel both of them watching her and it was disconcerting. They were being generous, respectful and caring but sitting between them was far too strange. She stood up and moved away from the sofa, coming to stand behind the chair that Lore had been sitting on just a moment ago. Resting her hands on the back of it, she tried to find some inner strength to deal with such surreality.

‘What is it?’ Lore asked.

‘Oh… nothing much,’ she said, wincing with discomfort, ‘just a bit of heartache. You know; heartache and feeling like I’m being torn in two. Hurting two people I love just by loving them. Nothing much.’

He glanced at Data. ‘Shall I get Troi?’ he asked.

Data shook his head. ‘Kristen, would you like to rest for a while? If you want to lie down and sleep, you can do so here. More rest might be beneficial,’ he said.

‘Sleep doesn’t help,’ she replied, ‘nothing does. Time alone is eerie and time with either of you is conflicting. Getting drunk made everything worse. You two being as patient and sweet as you are right now makes me feel like I’m even more of a selfish bitch than I know myself to be. I don’t know if I should just leave now and not see either of you ever again. If you love someone, you set them free. Isn’t that right? If you love two people and can’t stay with either one, then setting both of them free has to be the moral option. It has to be the most selfless choice.’

Lore’s eyes widened. ‘No, that can’t work. You can’t be alone,’ he said, ‘and for the record – you are _not_ a selfish bitch. The sole reason you’re in pain is because you want to give more than you’re able to. Can’t you see that?’

She squeezed the back of the chair, tension filling her whole body. Had her hands still been made of flesh and blood, she was sure her knuckles would be white. ‘I don’t see anything here beyond inevitable pain. This pain I’m in won’t get better, it’ll just get worse. I deserve it. I’ve damaged you both,’

‘That is incorrect,’ Data put in, ‘before you arrived here, Lore and I were discussing how much you have helped both of us grow as people. Without you, neither of us would have experienced genuine love,’

‘And look at it now,’ she said, trying not to snap, ‘what has it become? You both need me and I need both of you but I can’t handle any sort of arrangement that keeps me fixed in the middle. I know you have both said that you will stand by me as I visit with you both, but it’s not right. I could handle it for a short period of time but how could I cope with it over weeks or months or years? How could both of _you_ cope with it?’ 

Lore’s expression wavered. Data frowned.

‘Let’s be real here. Let’s be brutally honest. I am sleeping with two identical brothers who have a history of endless mutual strife. You two have never seen eye-to-eye. Clearly you’ve talked tonight and made some sort of compromise but when it comes to my involvement with both of you… living like this is _wrong._ ’ 

They watched her, just listening.

‘When I’m with one of you, the other will be wondering what I’m doing. How long I’ll be away. What I’m thinking and feeling. Jealousy _will_ be a problem and I can’t handle it. I won’t hurt either one of you. I love you both too much,’ she added, ‘and can you imagine what other people would say? What they are probably saying already? My ex-colleagues and friends have watched me form a long-term relationship with you, Data, and many of them were there when you announced our engagement at your violin concert. I get abducted, I disappear for weeks and then when I return, I’m a cyborg and madly in love with you, Lore. And now? I’m being intimate with both of you. Can you imagine what the people on this ship must be thinking?’

‘I don’t care,’ Lore said, with another shrug.

‘Nor do I,’ Data added.

‘I care what _you_ think,’ Lore continued, ‘and that’s it. If people talk about this situation then let them. It doesn’t affect us,’

‘It affects me!’ Kristen cried, her eyes filling with tears.

Data moved forward where he was sitting but before he could get up and come to her, she held up a hand to stop him and so he paused and then stayed still. 

‘Kris,’ Lore said, ‘sharing you won’t be easy. Having people on this ship think or talk about this unconventional arrangement will hurt. But… you can’t choose and we can’t give up. All we can do is try to make it work. It’s the sole single option we have. We can talk and debate all night but we’ll keep coming back to this point. It’s all we’ve got.’

She wiped her eyes. ‘What’s with you?’ she asked, ‘why aren’t you demanding and forcing and guilt-tripping me? What’s come over you?’

Lore looked at the floor for a moment. ‘Clarity,’ he said.

Data gazed at his brother. ‘Much has come to pass as of late,’ he added, ‘and what Lore and I must prioritise is your wellbeing. It is the most important factor. We both feel that way.’

Kristen felt the love she was being offered but as the love she felt for both of them was so extreme, she felt dizzied and sick. ‘I think I need to go back to my rooms,’ she said, her legs shaking.

‘I’ll walk with you,’ Lore said, standing up.

‘No, it’s alright. I’ll go on my own,’

‘I should be heading back anyway,’ Lore added, ‘it’s late.’

Kristen felt too weak to fight. ‘Fine,’ she said, ‘go and wait outside for me. I’ll be there in a moment.’

He hesitated for a beat and then he did as she asked and crossed the room. He passed through the doors and when they were closed and she was alone with Data, Kristen looked to him. The silence was deafening. When she couldn’t bear the eye contact any longer, couldn’t bear his infinite patience and selflessness or his sweet amber eyes, she turned her face and gazed around the room. They had lived here together, before her abduction. This had been their home. So much had been shared. From the moment she’d moved in with Data, everything had been perfect and now everything was fractured and she hated herself for ever coming into his life in the first place.

He stood and came to her. ‘I am worried for you,’ he said.

Kristen nodded, squeezing the back of the chair again. ‘I know. I’m worried about you too. I need to go. I’ll be in touch when I can, alright?’ She righted herself, still unable to look at him.

Data moved closer, took her hands. He lifted the left one and kissed the back of it. ‘Contact me at your convenience and know that I will always be here for you. Our circumstances may have changed but our feelings for one another have not altered. My love for you will always be constant,’ he said.

She pulled her hand from his and then, still avoiding his gaze, she lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck. She breathed him in, her eyes stinging with tears. ‘I love you, Data,’ she said.

He held her in return. ‘I know that to be true.’ He then kissed her cheek. ‘Go and rest. Each day that passes brings more clarity. Perhaps tomorrow you will be eased and not so fraught.’

She wished that could be so. Finally, she lifted her chin and looked up at him. ‘Thank you,’ she said.

Data managed a fragile smile for her.

Kristen leaned up and kissed him, covering his mouth with hers. His arms tightened around her and she clutched at his back. When it was over, she nuzzled his nose and then she moved her hands to his shoulders. ‘Goodnight, sweetie,’ she whispered.

‘Goodnight, my beloved.’

*

Lore was relieved when Kristen finally exited Data’s quarters. She looked pale and thin beneath the bright corridor lights and he couldn’t help but notice how her clothes were hanging off her frame. He’d been too focused on conversation earlier to take note of such things but now he realised her weight loss and felt rattled by an even deeper concern than that of earlier, if that was possible. The doors to his brother’s rooms closed and she came to him at once, reaching for his hand. Lore linked fingers with her and said nothing as they started to walk together.

It was very late and the ship was quiet. Their journey was a short one and try as he might, Lore couldn’t think of a single thing to say that might make her feel better. When he stole glances at her face, he saw tear-tracks and chapped lips. Her eyes looked hollow. 

_All my fault._

At her door, he halted when she did. She did not let go of his hand.

‘I’ll be in touch,’ she said.

‘I won’t come to you unless you ask me to,’ he replied.

She nodded. ‘Thanks. That would be helpful. I’ll come to your rooms when I can.’

Lore let some time pass so that she could either leave him or continue their conversation and within it, he felt a stabbing pain in his heart. He wished he had the ability to bow out of this mess so that she and his brother could get on with their lives, could maybe even resume their wedding plans, but too much had happened and he knew she didn’t want to lose him. He couldn’t bear to lose her either. She was everything. Wanting to be kept by her, being wanted and needed by her at all was both an absolution and a guilt-inducing agony. 

Needing to say something and to connect with her before she left, he took her other hand and then came to stand directly in front of her. ‘We won’t put any pressure on you,’ he said, quietly so.

Kristen looked up at him. ‘The pressure is there all the same,’ she replied.

‘Can I kiss you?’

She frowned and then she nodded. ‘Yes.’

He let go of her right hand so he could hold her face and then he leaned in and touched his lips to hers. She moved closer and sank into the kiss, giving him the same affection and love she always gave, even when he definitely did not deserve it. Lore closed his eyes and enjoyed her, moving his mouth against hers very slowly and with deliberate gentleness. Their tongues greeted one another but only briefly. She tasted of salt and honey.

Kristen pulled back too soon. ‘I’ve got to go,’ she said.

Lore nodded, licking his lips. ‘I know. I love you, Kris,’ he replied.

She smiled in an instant and then it was gone. ‘I love you too.’

He watched as she turned and went into her rooms. As soon as the doors closed, he started walking again, in the direction of his own personal quarters. All he could do now was wait for her, continue with his therapy, work things out with Data when the time was right and hope that the madness would ease and evolve into more peaceful times.

‘Yeah, _right_ ,’ he muttered to himself.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : A little bit of trivia - I wrote this book whilst listening to the Laced/Unlaced album by Emilie Autumn. The Laced part of it inspired my writing of Data and the Unlaced part inspired my writing of a Lore. Give it a listen - it's a brilliant album. Any reviews would be very much appreciated, as always!


	46. The Grey Area

Though she’d only been awake for ninety minutes or so Kristen was exhausted enough to need more sleep immediately when she was alone in her quarters. She knew that she could spend some time trying to figure out all she’d just been faced with but unconsciousness was preferable to introspection. She felt well-kissed and guilty, possessed by love she knew she shouldn’t keep and tired to her bones; whether organic or otherwise. 

In her bedroom, she took off her top and her trousers and then she climbed into bed and shivered beneath the covers. Really, being alone was painful but deciding on either brother for company was impossible. If she’d stayed with Data, Lore would have retreated to his rooms alone and feeling discarded. If she had gone with Lore to his rooms, Data wouldn’t have known but Kristen would and she’d have ached over his being alone when she and Lore were not. 

She turned onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. 

_This is impossible and oh, how it hurts…_

Abstractly, she wondered what Doctor Soong would make of the predicament she was in. Would he despise her for the trouble she’d brought to the lives of his two sons or would he be pleased that she loved them both so intensely? There was no way to know. She wondered what her Father would say also. Then her thoughts deepened and she wondered how her Father would feel if he knew that she was not only involved with one of Soong’s creations, but two. She loved Data and she also loved the android that had battered her Father and intensified his hatred of artificial life. 

She closed her eyes as tears began to spill. Her mind was whirling, spinning, trying to assimilate memories, emotions, loyalties and truths. In almost no time at all, Kristen was overwhelmed by her internal conflicts and she fell into a deep sleep.

*

The dream was surreal at first and got more and more surreal as it went on. She sat up in her bed, first of all, and pushed the covers from her body. She looked about herself and blinked, wondering why she felt so lost within rooms she’d grown so used to. It felt as though the walls were closing in on her, like everything was darker than it should be. Out of her bed, she pulled on a simple shift dress and then she headed for the door, seeking escape. Her lounge was thick with shadows and though it should be impossible, she heard thunder rolling overhead. 

Stranger still, when she exited her quarters and made her way out into the corridor, rain was pouring. Looking up, she saw that the ceiling was intact. But still, rain fell and it was heavy, warm and voluptuous.

_It’s raining cats and dogs… panthers and wolves…_

Kristen walked and she walked and she walked. The rain didn’t touch her face, hair or body. It was as though she was protected from it by some invisible forcefield. She lifted a hand and touched the wall as she moved and when she saw someone in the distance, she knew it was Geordi LaForge because of the livid blueness of his eyes. He smiled at her, showing teeth, and Kristen found that she couldn’t smile back because she was too scared of him. The next person she saw was Troi. The Counselor and friend she’d known for so long was smiling too, her teeth sharp like that of a succubus. Her black-brown eyes were narrowed and her hair was made up of writhing snakes.

_These are not my friends…_

The fear increased and so she started to run. As soon as she saw the welcoming maw of a turbolift she raced to head inside it but when the doors closed, she realised she was not alone. It was Picard… but not Picard.

_Locutus._

His skin was milk-white. His body was warped by cybernetic alterations. One of his arms was tipped by a grasping claw and when she looked down at it, it moved and made snapping sounds. Kristen gasped in terror but when she moved back from him and pressed herself against the rear turbolift wall, he did not advance upon her. He held his position; frightful, horrific.

‘Lieutenant Harper,’ he said, a red light on the side of his head beaming into her eyes, ‘what are you doing here? You should be on the bridge! Explain yourself!’

Kristen watched as he inclined his head and when he began to grin in a most ghoulish fashion, she shrank down into a crouching position, lifting her arms up so she could protect herself. 

Seconds passed and though she fully expected to be assaulted, nothing happened. When she dared to open her eyes and show her face again, it was Ria who was standing there. It was not the Ria she had first met so long ago, the one with the blonde hair and determined expression, it was the version that Lore was responsible for. She was drooling and her lips were caked with dried blood. Locutus was gone and zombie-Ria was here instead. Her fingernails were gone and when she reached out with blackened fingers, Kristen opened her mouth and screamed.

‘ _Lore is mine! He is mine, mine, MINE!_ ’ Ria yelled.

Kristen cowered and then she clutched at her face. When she turned and dared to peek, everything had changed yet again.

Ghosts whirled like snow, filling the turbolift, surrounding her. 

Yates, Jijesh, Jones and Sarrott. All four of them were there – silvery lights that shook and trembled. Kristen stared at them, tears running down her face. They were moaning and sobbing, draped in ethereal fabrics, shuddering and shaking as they loomed.

‘ _You didn’t save us… you didn’t help us… we died and it’s all your fault… why did we die when you did not? What makes you so special? We’ve come to take you, Krissy, and we won’t stop until we’ve got you. We’re here to take your soul…_ ’ Yates moaned.

And then the turbolift doors opened. The sound was unmistakable.

Kristen tried to run away but she tripped over her feet and crashed out into the corridor on all fours. She turned onto her side, gasping for air, and when she looked into the lift, she was stunned to find it completely empty. Everything was silent. The rainfall had ceased too. Her heart was in her throat and sweat was trickling down her face. For the longest time, she remained where she was, staring and staring. She waited for the ghosts or for Locutus, Ria, Deanna or Geordi but all was still and soundless. 

Shellshocked, she crawled to her feet and then she started to run again. 

_Data… I need you… where are you?_

At his door, she was too mindless to use the panel to announce that she was there. Instead, she used her fists to pound and hammer. The doors didn’t open and so she rested her forehead against them, trying to breathe, trying not to faint. Sweat and tears mingled on her face. Somehow, she knew that none of this was real but also, it was too overwhelming to dismiss. Her legs shook and her heart pounded. Her heart was crying out for the man she had once agreed to marry, but even when she used her hands to try and prise the doors open, they wouldn’t budge. 

Defeated, terrified, Kristen turned and then she started to run again. She daren’t return to the turbolift and so when she saw an access panel to the conduit network, she ripped it off immediately and then jumped inside. 

As she crawled through the Jefferies tubes, she used her superhuman strength to move as fast as she could, trying to remember the way to the brig. That was where Lore had been held. If she couldn’t get to Data, then she should surely be able to get to Lore. As soon as she was in the right area, Kristen paused. She needed a moment to collect herself, to ensure that she hadn’t been followed by demons or ghosts. 

She looked over her shoulder. She was alone. 

But when she looked down at her body, Kristen saw that she had changed. She was not a cyborg now. She knew that her limbs were human, that her eyes were coffee-brown. When she touched her head with a careful hand, she found that no implants were fixed to her skull. She was wearing the teal-grey-black of the Starfleet uniform she had once worn every single day. Her pips were there and so was her communicator.

Overwrought, she cried new tears. It had been so long. Too long.

_Lieutenant Kristen Harper, reporting for duty, Sir._

And then Lore returned to her in a flurry of passion and pain and she began to move again. When she reached the right spot, the right place she had ripped apart in the past when needing to be with her keeper, she burrowed with her hands until they were bleeding and the conduit was open like a mouth that was all too ready to swallow her into a womb whose walls were made of the very substance of nostalgia. 

She sucked the blood from her fingertips and then she moved her legs so that they dangled into the hole. She whispered a prayer, thought of Q and the way he made miracles, thought of Gods and prophets, and then she threw herself downwards and hoped for the best.

When she landed, she was not in the brig. Kristen had landed in a crouch but when she righted herself and stood tall, she realised she was in Data’s quarters. She looked at her hands and found them to be clean of blood or rawness. Her nails were clean, as were her palms. She was still in her Starfleet uniform and it too was clean, devoid of dishevelment, not marked by her journey through the internal recesses of the ship. Echoes of confusion and pain revolved inside her spirit but the familiarity of Data’s rooms, her old home, was enough to spur her onwards. 

_Your heart is my home…_

She was in the lounge. Data’s violin was on the central table, along with scattered poker chips, and Spot was curled up on a chair. Chopin was playing, the lights were dim. Paintings of her were everywhere, some complete and some still drying. The scent of wet paint made Kristen think of her Father and she winced, waiting for him to appear. Another ghoul. Another remnant. But he did not come forth and so she sighed, glad to be safe now from the spectres that haunted her.

‘Data?’ she called, ‘Data? Where are you…?’

He did not reply. 

Kristen wiped her eyes of tears and then she wandered through to their bedroom. 

All was as it should be. The room was just as she remembered. Data was there, sitting on the end of their bed, and by his side, Lore was there too. It seemed that they had been waiting for her. Kristen put her hands to her face and sobbed just at the sight of them, relief flowing through her veins like cool water. The golden brothers of her heart looked up at her, one dark and one light, the sun and the moon, the day and the night. 

_Nocturne… Aubade…_

They didn’t say a single word, but grief for her grief was on their handsome faces. She rubbed her nose and eyes with her fingers and then she dropped her arms to her sides. The terror was gone now. The pain was ever-present, but the fear had just melted away. With them, she was safe. One of these brothers had injured her beyond description in the past and the other had only ever infused her life with gentleness and love. In this dreamstate, those factors were mingled and cancelled out. There was no blame, no right or wrong. 

They were one and the same, only one heart was broken by the pains of his youth and the other was strengthened by acceptance and the sweetness of benevolent friends and patient peers. One dominant, sarcastic and pushy, the other submissive, kind and patient. Kristen knew one from the other but in her heart they were fused. 

She took a deep breath and then she stepped forwards. They tilted their heads upwards to acknowledge her nearness and when she lifted her hands, she cupped both of their faces and managed to smile with nothing less than perfect adoration, perfect need.

Lore opened his mouth just a little, a smile warming his features. She saw his subtle laughter lines, the way his citrine eyes creased with longing. Data blinked, his amber eyes wide with innocent appreciation she knew to be intrinsic to him and only him. In unison, they leaned into her touch. Their skin was smooth, warm, white. Kristen felt a dark heat swell inside her body. It peaked between her legs and at the tips of her breasts. She moved closer, standing between them both, and at the same exact time they shifted slowly so that they could accommodate her proximity.

‘I can’t choose,’ she heard herself say.

Data nuzzled into her palm and kissed her there. ‘You are my beloved,’ he whispered, his lips soft against her skin, ‘you are my love. You are mine. My wife.’

Lore opened his mouth a little more, biting gently at her thumb. ‘You are my dark angel, my perfect creation, my pet. My soul.’

Kristen waited for the guilt to push her backwards, to force her out of this impossible situation, but it did not come and she stood strong before them. ‘This can’t be black and white,’ she said.

‘All is fair in the grey area,’ Lore replied.

Data smiled and the smile was real. ‘We love you. In the grey area, there is only love.’

She looked at each of them and when Lore pulled her hand and carefully eased her onto the bed, she settled there and relaxed into the room they made for her. She found herself mirroring Data’s smile as they eased her down onto her back. They shifted her so that she was centred between them and then she reached for them both, needing to be held. Lore nuzzled the side of her face at the same time that Data kissed her shoulder. Their arms covered her.

_This is wrong…_

‘No, it isn’t,’ Lore whispered, nipping at her earlobe with his teeth, ‘we know what you’re thinking. It isn’t wrong,’

‘I don’t deserve this sort of acceptance,’ she returned, looking into his eyes as Data’s hand stroked her stomach, ‘for me to fix either one of you, I must break the other… and in the process I will break myself,’

‘There should be no more questions,’ Data whispered.

‘No?’ She glanced at him, saw her sweetheart still smiling at her.

Lore smiled then too, but it was soft instead of salacious. ‘No. Shush, Krissy. Let us take care of you. You worry too much, talk too much. Shush…’

Data’s hand found the fastening on her uniform top and then he was pulling it off her. Lore helped her sit up a little and raise her arms to make it easier. She wore no bra beneath that top and so her breasts were bared now. She ached for them to be touched. Lore guided her onto her back once more and she felt his teeth dig into the flesh of her upper arm, but it was gentle and playful. Arousing. Data leaned over to kiss her lips and then he crossed her waist with his arm as he lowered his head and fixed his mouth to her right breast. He sucked her nipple and she felt the warm swirl of his tongue over that needy flesh. 

Kristen cradled Data’s head with her hand and closed her eyes when Lore kissed her left breast and then mirrored what his brother was doing; taking her nipple into his mouth and drawing from it with easy suction and affection. She hummed with approval, butterflies fluttering madly in her belly. Identical pale hands wandered her body, one of them squeezing her thigh and the other finding her free hand and stroking her splayed fingers. 

She sighed, moaned, tensed, relaxed.

The hands moved again. The firmer one left her thigh and centred in on her sex, rubbing there through her pants. The fingers of that hand were insistent as they touched her and it thrilled her blood with excitement. The softer hand moved to her face and then a finger was pushed past her lips so that she could suck on it. Kristen wasn’t sure who was who. Which one was the saint and which one was the angel disguised as a devil. She moaned again and then she bit down on the finger in her mouth, knowing that playfulness would be gratefully received. 

She heard impassioned laughter, words exchanged between the two brothers that weren’t entirely audible due to how drunk she was on this, and then she felt movement that made her want to sit up. She tried to do just that but as both mouths left her breasts and that finger was pulled from between her lips, she felt herself be pushed down again so that all she could do was lay prone and wait for what was to come next. 

Kristen gazed around herself and then watched as Lore got off the bed. His chest was bare now, even though she was sure she hadn’t heard or seen him take off his shirt, and he was kneeling on the floor. He unfastened her trousers and pulled them off, slowly. Then he stroked his hands up her shins and he grasped her thighs, nuzzling his face into her knee. Kisses followed. Soft bites, too. She saw his smile and it made her smile in return. He wasn’t in pain. He was enjoying this.

Data was stroking her hair. That meant that he was sitting upright now, holding her upper body as he too waited to see what Lore intended to do. Kristen let her head fall back, let her eyes drift until they found Data’s and connected. He put his other hand to her mouth and that was when she knew whose finger she’d been sucking. He watched her as he stroked her lower lip with his fingertip and then she opened her mouth to accept it once more. He caressed her tongue and she bit at his knuckle, lost in pleasure and nostalgia too. 

He smiled, not quite amused by her arousal but definitely on board with it. She knew Data when he was enticed by explicit exchanges and was very much involved in this, instead of being confused or angered by it.

‘Are you alright?’ she asked, mouthing the words instead of speaking them.

He nodded, slow and sure. His smile increased. Lore spread her thighs wide and then he dropped kisses on her mons. Kristen looked up at Data again, waiting for him to object to this. Instead of that, he simply tilted his head and thrust his finger deeper into her mouth. And then Lore was using his lips and tongue and teeth to drive pleasure into her that was so sweet and welcome, Kristen couldn’t help but writhe and sidle her hips in response. 

He licked and kissed and fed until she was rocking on the bed. Data shifted into a kneeling posture and when he opened her mouth wider and filled it with something much bigger and harder than his finger, she melted with lust and took him in gratefully. Kristen took him deep and gave in to the chaos. She felt her loyalty to them both expand and take her over. She received pleasure and gave it too.

_Dark angel…_

_My beloved…_

Heat rose, identities mingled. She was taken by Lore’s loving hands and moved. Inebriated by love, Kristen let herself be pulled until she was on all fours and then when Data was on his back before her, she was encouraged into his embrace. He held her, kissed her hungrily, his hands stroking down her back. Their bellies pressed, her back arched. Kristen felt like moaning but she was still lost in a kiss and so her pleasure was muffled by giving, golden lips. She held Data’s face and let the kiss grow a little harder, a little deeper. 

The air in the room was turning sultry now. Kristen could feel herself growing hotter and hotter and especially so when Lore used his fingers to rub at her lower back and shoulders. He brought himself closer and then he grasped her upper arms and pulled her upright so that she was straddling Data and their kiss was broken. Mouthing his way up the back of her neck, he moved his hands around to her front and then he was cupping her breasts and she was suspended in the sheer mischief of it all. 

This was no longer a nightmare – it was a dream of impossible unity, a fantasy of such debauched and erotic enjoyment that Kristen couldn’t help but give in to it. In this otherworld, guilt was not present. Depression was gone. All three of them were not themselves but that afforded liberation from a reality that was complicated, frustrating and raw. The only rawness here was that of sexual hunger and Kristen was definitely ravenous for both of them. Depravity made more sense than trying to fathom this. She had no chance to reason with this pleasure.

As Lore pinched her nipples and whispered indecent things in her ear, she watched Data’s eyes and rocked herself on his hardness, wishing it was inside her already. His hands settled on her hips and he squeezed her there, encouraging the way her body swayed. She thought that it might be time to alter her posture so she could take him in but when she tried to do that, he shook his head at her. 

Nonplussed, Kristen gave him a bemused smile and then that deepened when Lore told her that it was time for her to move again. He wanted her to lie down on her side and so she waited for him to move back, giving her room, and then she did just as she asked.

On the bed, Data turned over and as soon as she was near him again, he reached to guide her down on the covers. Her back was pressed to his stomach this time and he spooned into her, holding her close with strong arms. 

‘That’s more like it,’ Lore intoned, eyes sparking.

‘This is what you want,’ Kristen breathed.

Data licked her shoulder, tasting her there. ‘We love you.’

She exhaled, shakily so. ‘I know, but I’m not used to this… I’ve never… I mean, I’ve truly _never_ done anything even close to what this-’

‘We’ll treat you good, just trust us,’ Lore said. 

‘We know that you are fragile,’ Data added, ‘you are human and we are not. We know that we must be careful,’

‘But not _too_ careful,’ she whispered.

‘That’s my girl.’ Lore laughed and then he moved to lie down too, opposite them but very close. 

Close enough, in fact, to press himself to her and lift her left thigh so he could hook it over his hip. Kristen had more questions to ask but as she’d been told not to be inquisitive, she stayed silent as her two lovers began to touch her anew. Lore’s hand stayed on her thigh and then he leaned in to kiss her. This kiss was gentle and sweet, a tender offering, and she closed her eyes when his tongue played against hers. 

As this was happening, Data squeezed her in a loving embrace and then his hand slid between their bodies so he could align them. With a push of his hips, an easy thrust, he entered her body. Kristen’s arm reached backwards so she could hold onto him and Lore shifted nearer still, keeping her pressed between them as his tongue darted and danced in her mouth. 

There was no movement for a beat or two and then the swaying began. 

Rocking, thrusting, jolting…

As Data made love to her, Kristen needed to pull in a deep breath and so she let her head fall back from the kiss. Lore’s smile was infectious and his eyes smouldered. She’d never had him down as a voyeur but the enjoyment of all that was happening was all over his face. He moved his hand from her thigh and then it too was reaching down between their bodies. She realised what he was going to do and her eyes widened with shock. The shock was enough for her to tell him not to proceed, but it was enough for her to feel a tinge of nervousness. 

Data too realised that things were altering course and he stopped thrusting into her. All became still for a few moments. Lore’s fingers were touching her, spreading her, and then a different part of himself was put into position there. He did not enter her yet, but he would at any moment.

‘It’s okay,’ he said to her, more serious now, ‘take a deep breath,’

‘Be careful, brother,’ Data said.

Lore looked passed her for a moment so they could talk. ‘I will. Unlike you, this isn’t the first time I’ve done something like this,’

‘But still, caution may be needed. Please be gentle with her,’

‘I know, brother. I completely understand. You should trust me too,’

‘Alright. I will trust you,’

‘Good. Now, let’s stop talking and love this girl together.’

Kristen marvelled over this exchange. She was pulsing with excitement and every part of her ached with the need for more of this adventure. Lore dipped his head, looking into her eyes again, and he smiled. ‘Take a deep breath,’ he repeated, ‘this will feel strange at first.’

She nodded. ‘Okay…’

He shifted himself, his smile tightened a little, and then he slowly pushed himself inside her too. The feeling was indescribable, as more inches of hardness were eased into her tight cleft. The fullness was so intense that she wasn’t sure she could take it. Kristen took another deep breath and the hand that was still holding onto Data’s head caught a harder grasp there. She pulled at his hair a little and then managed to exhale as he nuzzled her face and kissed her there.

‘Do you wish for us to cease?’ he whispered.

‘Definitely not.’

The thrusting resumed, in perfect unison. Kristen knew she must look deranged, but she couldn’t think of such things at a time when she was splintered by flesh and lust.

‘Kris,’ Lore said.

She fixed her eyes on his.

‘I need you to know something true.’

Data sucked her shoulder, one of his hands seeking a breast and squeezing it. 

‘Yes?’

He grinned at her, a demon. ‘You are a terrible fucking person. I hope that you can appreciate what that means…’

Everything went dark then. The double-penetration she was receiving turned into sharp knives and all at once they were thrusted upwards and she was gasping with searing agony instead of bliss. The tip of one knife poked out of her belly and the other poked out of her lower back. Blood spurted from both wounds. 

Data’s hand moved to her hair and then he was yanking her head back so he could stare down at her. His teeth were muddy with old blood and his eyes were coppery with hate. 

‘Did you think this was a game?’ he asked her, ‘did you think you would get away with this?’

Kristen screamed.

*

Twisting in the covers of her bed, Kristen woke. She sat up and her eyes darted around as she surveyed her surroundings. She was able to perceive the tiniest details of the bedclothes, the walls, the ceiling and the floor, but none of it helped her. 

In a blind panic, she leapt off the bed and then stood in the centre of the room, sweat pouring down her face. She knew that the visions she’d just been tortured by had been a nightmare, a particularly vicious and terrifying one, but that didn’t help much either. Kristen felt as though she should seek both Data and Lore so she could apologise profusely to them for the things her subconscious had invented but at the same time she couldn’t bear to face them. How could she look either one of them in the eye after what she’d just dreamt? 

In her conscious state, there was no _way_ she would ever want to be intimate with both of them at the same time. The thought was horrific and made her feel sick with how disrespectful it was. Tortured, Kristen wondered why her mind had brought about such sordid scenarios. Was it because she’d been with both of them last night, even if all they’d done was talk? She’d given them both a goodnight kiss too but it hadn’t been sexual. She had been trying to convey love, not anything more. Yes, she was involved with both brothers in an intimate sense when it came down to the facts but she would never, not ever, want to take them to bed at the same time.

Kristen took a long, cold shower and whilst she was in the cubicle, she willed herself to calm down and let go of such terrible, guilt-inducing dreams. Just because her mind was sick it didn’t mean she’d literally done anything wrong. Once clean, she drank some coffee and then she got dressed and wandered around her quarters, wondering what the hell she should do with herself. 

_The clock is ticking… or maybe it’s just the sound of my mental state as it dissolves and leaves me crazy… useless to anyone or anything…_

_As I am right now, I am an evil and undeserving temptress…_

Anxiety, shame and confusion were battling an almighty war in her heart and before she could stop herself and order those emotions into an easily managed tableau of reflections, she was heading out of her rooms and returning to TenForward. It was mid-morning and so people would still be breakfasting there, some at the end of their night shift and some before their day shift began. Kristen went in and looked for Guinan immediately. Her friend was behind the bar, talking to Geordi LaForge and his girlfriend Caroline. As soon as Guinan saw her there, her face tensed slightly.

_She’s not glad to see me. I deserve that. I deserve that and more…_

Kristen moved over, hoping she didn’t look as stricken as she felt. 

‘Hi Kris,’ Caroline said, her expression wary.

She smiled. ‘Hi. Good morning.’

LaForge did not look cautious but his seriousness was there all the same. ‘How are you feeling? You look pale. Are you okay?’ he asked.

Kristen longed to tell her old friends that she was in no way coping but she could not. ‘Sure, I’m fine. I came to have a quick word with Guinan, if you don’t mind?’

LaForge nodded. ‘No problem. We’re just heading down to engineering anyway. We’ll see you later.’ 

Caroline only stopped staring when Geordi took her arm and then the two of them were heading out of the bar and talking amongst themselves. Guinan waited patiently, her hands on the bar, her eyes warm with acceptance even though Kristen hadn’t apologised yet.

‘I hope I’m still welcome here,’ Kristen said, moving closer to the bar, ‘I can understand if you want to ban me. If I had your position on this ship, I wouldn’t want someone like me hanging around,’

‘You’re forgiven,’ Guinan said, ‘but it’s unlikely I’ll ever serve you alcohol again. I won’t help you to hurt yourself, Kris.’

She took a seat on a bar stool. ‘I made a real arse of myself, didn’t I?’

Guinan smiled, kindly so. ‘Plenty of people have turned to booze for solace when they’re in pain. It takes some of the pain away whilst you’re drunk but, as I’m sure you’ve learned, it is not a healer. In your case, I’m not sure what would be a true healer. I wish I knew how to help you.’

Kristen shrugged. ‘I need to know how to help Data and Lore. As soon as I have that figured out, I’ll heal naturally. But there is no way to give Data and Lore what they both need without going crazy in the process. This is more than a love triangle, Guinan. This is a nightmare,’

‘Did something happen to you last night?’

‘Kind of, yes. I went to Data’s quarters to apologise for being a reckless inebriate but when I got there, I found that Lore was with him and that they were talking. It… threw me off balance. Majorly.’

Guinan also took a seat. ‘I’m listening,’ she said.

‘I don’t know how but they seem to have managed a compromise based on the fact that they don’t want to injure me by being jealous or possessive. They don’t want to cause me any stress or trouble, which is laughable in its generosity, given what I’m putting them both through. I don’t mean to say that I find their open-heartedness amusing because I certainly do not. What I find laughable is the fact that they are united in their concern for me when I don’t deserve it,’

‘Perhaps it’s time to stop being a martyr,’ Guinan said.

Kristen’s eyes widened. 

‘I say that without cruelty. It’s just that you seem to be expending so much energy on judging and hating yourself when all of this is out of your control. You were kidnapped and operated on, Kris. Your mind was warped. When you returned, you eventually recalled your true self and since then you’ve been split down the middle by your feelings. Stop punishing yourself. Accept the situation you are in and try to adapt to it. It is the only way you will survive,’ Guinan explained.

‘That’s much easier said than done,’ Kristen replied, ‘and it isn’t all about me. I love both of them and I can’t figure out how to make it work,’

‘What did they suggest?’

‘That I visit with both of them and proceed as I have been doing already,’

‘Can you do that?’

‘Not without feeling terrible,’

‘Then stop feeling terrible.’

Kristen laughed. This kind of advice wasn’t helping. She stood up from her bar stool and when she did so, she realised her legs were shaking again. ‘I think I should go,’ she said, ‘as much as I know you mean well, Guinan, this conversation is just making me feel worse,’

‘How about I fetch you some coffee and some breakfast and we talk a little more?’ Guinan offered, ‘I’m sure that if you sit down again and we try to work through some of this, we can help you both vent and come to a fitting resolution.’

This time when Kristen laughed, it was harsher. ‘You said you’d been in a love triangle before, right?’

‘That’s right, yes,’

‘How did it turn out?’

Guinan sighed. ‘Well… we all lived together for a time. A few years, actually. We managed to make it work, though it wasn’t without occasional drama or heartache,’

‘You see? That’s what I can’t take any more of. That’s what I can’t do to Data,’ Kristen said, ‘or to Lore either.’

Guinan watched her, frowning a little. ‘Your situation is unique. Android hearts are not the same as those that flesh and blood men keep. They feel like we do but they are capable of more. More patience, more time to wait and consider. I think that you should-’

Kristen was getting angry. Not at Guinan necessarily, but at her place in the universe. ‘Thanks,’ she interrupted, ‘I appreciate your advice. I am truly sorry for getting drunk here. It won’t happen again. I’ll see you later.’

And then she turned before her friend could utter another word. She left TenForward and then she started to stride down the corridors of deck ten, looking for an access port to the conduit system. Captain Picard would be mad at her for entering the internal recesses of his ship yet again but to Kristen it was somewhere she could be away from everyone and everything. Over time, she had grown used to seeking peace there and she couldn’t deny the pull that came to her whenever she was stressed or hurting. This wasn’t about Picard or about Starfleet safety regulations – this was about solace during a time of need.

She crept slowly through the Jefferies tubes and once the usual noises of the ship had faded into nothingness, she found that she could breathe again. Still moving, she continued on her way. There was no need to ask the computer to guide her this way and that; she was well accustomed now to these dark, dimly-lit passages.

Kristen knew where she was going, even though she pretended to herself that this was just a bit of time to herself and not a journey into deeper worrying and suffering. 

She climbed down a ladder and when she around the right area of deck nine, she took a break to sniffle back the tears that threatened to spill, and then she moved onwards until she was directly above Data’s quarters. She could sense that he was there. He wasn’t on duty right now. Her hearing could pick up the beating of his heart, so sensitive it was due to how Lore had changed her. When she lay down on the floor of the conduit and pressed her ear to it, she could hear that he was listening to music.

It wasn’t one of his usual selections, one of those she recalled from their shared past. No, it wasn’t one of his favourite pieces or even a layered cacophony of sound. Instead, he was listening to a playback of when she had come into his rooms and picked up his violin. Kristen found it odd and haunting to listen to herself playing Chopin. She had never been artistic in any sense and so to hear herself playing this music was incredibly bizarre. 

When she was able to, she put the very tips of her fingers to the lip of the access hatch she was poised over and then she opened it ever so slightly, taking care to be slow and absolutely silent. Looking downwards, she saw that Data was within her field of sight. 

He was sitting in front of an easel and working on a painting. Predictably, it was yet another depiction of herself, one more to add to the vast collection he had made over recent months. This time, she was rendered as she was now – positronic grafts, red eyes and all. Her stripy hair was drifting around her face as though she was underwater and her mouth was contorted in pain. He was concentrating so utterly on what he was doing that he didn’t notice he was being watched. His brushstrokes were slow and methodical but there was something in his eyes that she recognised as not entirely content.

_I’m sorry, Data… I’m sorry that you’re in this situation at all. You are the sweetest, kindest man I have ever known…_

Suddenly, there was a signal at his door. Data looked up briefly, asked the computer to cease the music playback and then he put down his palette and brush. ‘Enter,’ he called.

Geordi LaForge came in. ‘Hey, Data. Have you got a minute?’

‘I have several. I am not on duty until 15:00 hours,’ Data replied.

‘Okay, well I should be in engineering right now so I’d better make this quick. Caroline and I were in TenForward not so long ago and Kris came in. She doesn’t look well,’ he said.

Data stood up. ‘Unfortunately, that comes as no surprise. Did you speak with her?’

‘Briefly.’ LaForge shrugged, openly uncomfortable. ‘I’m here because I thought you should know that she’s… well, you probably already know one hell of a lot more than I do right now. I don’t know if she’s still with Guinan or if she left but… her eyes were unfocused and she was so pale. No offence, but she was almost as pale as you, my friend. She looked _haunted._ ’

Data nodded and moved away from his painting. ‘I do not know if I should seek her or if I should wait for her to seek me. Perhaps going to her would be better. I told her to contact me if she was troubled but it seems that she is finding it difficult to reach out,’

‘Why don’t you go to TenForward? If she’s still there, you could head on in and play innocent. Say that you were just checking in. She might talk to you,’

‘And if she is not there?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe Guinan can give you some clues or answers.’ LaForge moved over to Data then. The two friends looked at one another. ‘I’ve got a bad feeling,’

‘As do I. I will go and find her,’ Data replied.

Kristen pulled back from the access hatch and realised her heart was in her throat. If Data was going to TenForward now, then she’d be located before long and once again retrieved from the conduit system. She turned herself around, riddled with guilt of Data being worried for her, and then she raced forwards and faster forwards, her eyes already swimming with tears. 

She cried softly as she moved between decks. Panicked now, she couldn’t seem to settle anywhere and knowing that she would soon be chased was not helping. Echoes from her dreamstate returned to her and, lost in heartache as she was, Kristen wondered if she should go to the brig so she could see Lore. But then she remembered that Lore had not been held in the brig for some time. Feverish and shaking, she made her way to his personal rooms and then found that he was not within them. Those rooms were dark and silent, unoccupied.

The only other place he could be was with Troi. Kristen wiped her face of tears and then she made her way to the room that used to be her office. The access hatch there was not on the ceiling, it was near the floor and at the rear of the desk. Poising herself there, Kristen settling into a crouching position and then she carefully opened that hatch so that she could peer through the crack. Light spilled in from beyond and so did two voices, mid-conversation.

‘Believe me,’ Lore was saying, ‘it was the last thing I expected. I went to Data’s rooms to find out how Kris was doing, not to spend time with him. I did _not_ expect for us to manage a compromise of any nature, but… I guess that’s one thing that love is good for,’

‘Can you elaborate?’ Troi asked.

‘Love for Kris was the one thing that enabled Data and I to unite. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not close now. We’re not even friends, let alone anything closer, but we are aligned in our need to keep Kris safe. Data and I both know that we can’t pressure her or force her to choose between us. I’m sure that Often-Wrong would be relieved to know that we have at last found some common ground. Not that I care what he thinks, or what he would have thought if he was still alive. But still, it is rather ironic, don’t you think, that a women we both love and are desperate for has become the single factor that has brought us to a ceasefire?’

Troi mulled that over. ‘All I know is that I am glad to hear that you and Data have managed to compromise in any way, shape or form,’

‘Spoken with perfectly professional neutrality,’ Lore said, arching an eyebrow.

‘As always,’ Troi replied.

He folded his arms over his chest and took a moment, his gaze veering off into the distance. ‘I find it odd that I don’t want to kill him now. I was fixated on that for years. Now, I know that if I killed Data, Kris would suffer. I mean, I couldn’t end his life even if I tried to, thanks to that ethical subroutine he forced upon me, but… it’s becoming more and more all the time. Even with Kris and ethics out of the equation, I doubt that I would want to murder my perfect little brother,’

‘Why do you think that is?’

‘Many factors,’

‘Name some,’

‘Alright. Well… the more I think about Soong and what he did to me, what he never gave, the more I realise that none of it is Data’s fault. It’s not like he was activated and he immediately started telling our Father that I should be ignored and neglected. Data didn’t even know I existed until you, your colleagues and your old ship found me on Omicron Theta and put me back together and reactivated me,’

‘It seems that you’ve been doing a lot of thinking and processing,’ Troi replied.

Lore smiled briefly and then it faded, like clouds passing over a blood moon. ‘Again… that’s what love does. I’ve been constantly re-assessing my situation, my feelings, my life… ever since I stole Kris away and spent real time with her. It’s funny; the way your moods and opinions can alter and all because you encountered the right sort of company.’

Listening intently, Kristen wept and tried to stay as quiet as she could, her hands over her face.

‘Who knows,’ Lore said, ‘maybe one day Data and I will figure stuff out for real. He conceded last night that Soong wasn’t the best example of a Father. Data said to me that he was sorry that I suffered when he did not. I said to him that I was sorry for what I did to Kris. As surreal as it may be, we’re talking about our lives and what has brought us to where we are now.’

Troi straightened in her seat. ‘I can’t tell you how proud that makes me,’ she said.

‘Proud?’ Lore’s eyes narrowed. ‘Why would you be proud?’

‘Because you are attempting teamwork for the first time,’ Troi replied, ‘and because you are doing so with love in your hearts instead of hate or resentment. Like it or not, you and Data are family. You are _brothers_. Now, you are seeing that for what it is and you are both trying to move on from the past. I’m not saying that any of this is easy, but it might get easier if you continue to put this sort of effort in,’

‘I still think he’s a Starfleet bootlicker,’ Lore snapped, ‘an apple-polishing, goody two-shoes. A fucking-’

‘Get to the point.’

Lore huffed and rolled his eyes. ‘I still think that Data is the kind of guy I never would have liked if we had not been related by who and what we are… but I can forgive him for the stuff I used to blame him for,’

‘Good,’

‘You go through… seasons… in your life where one generalised pitch of emotion is exchanged for another. For example; there was a time when I did not retaliate against the abuse I suffered. Back when I was adapting to sentience and my Father forced me to mingle with the colonists, I tried to let a lot of it just roll over me. I didn’t fight back. I was surly and sarcastic but I didn’t hurt anyone. I knew I was different. I knew I was a freak. I was alone. I got used to being insulted and pushed around. That’s one pitch of emotion,’ 

‘Yes,’

‘Fast-forward so many years and then I am someone else. I am accustomed to murder and violence, meaningless sex and obsessive suspicion. Then we fast-forward again.’

Troi looked to her comm screen for a moment, making notes that Lore didn’t seem to mind.

‘I become another me. I find myself living in my Father’s lab with a girl who I have tortured and abused. Despite that darkness, she still has time for me. She’s not trying to use me like Ria and so many other people did. She’s listening to me because that’s her nature,’

‘Correct.’ Troi nodded.

‘And then we jump to who I am now,’

‘And who are you now, Lore?’

He uncrossed his arms and shifted a little. One hand ran through his hair and then it settled in his lap. ‘I am… someone who has the ability to understand why he became what he once was. I did not have a good start in life and it doesn’t matter whether I was born or constructed. I had a rough ride,’ 

‘I agree,’

‘I lashed out at so many people, not because I was made to be bitter and violent but because that was what life’s lessons brought me to. The man I am now is capable of reflecting on his journey, on his experiences, and he is able to acknowledge the fact that he has made a great deal of mistakes. I want to be a better man. I want to be a good person. I’ll never be perfect, but I don’t want to kill anyone or seek revenge. If anything, I’m grateful for this journey. I’ve learned the hard way that life is what you make it,’

‘What do you want to make of your life from now on?’ Troi asked.

‘I want to make Kris happy. I want to do good for her so that I can try to heal all of the ways I’ve hurt her. I want her to look at me and feel safe, happy, content…’ Lore winced then, battling some internal conflict. ‘I want to do whatever I can to safeguard her feelings. She’s the most wonderful girl… woman… I’ve ever known. I want to spend every single day of my life trying to earn her trust and her love. Without her, nothing matters. Kristen Harper is everything to me. I love her.’

Kristen couldn’t hear any more of this. Her eyes were twin waterfalls as she pulled back from the access hatch and retreated into the Jefferies tube. She felt torn asunder due to his heartfelt confessions. Via her past as a Starfleet Counselor she knew that listening on his therapy session was inappropriate, but she hadn’t been able to help herself. His words were beautiful and true but his evolution, his progression, only hurt her all the more. It was not Lore’s fault, it was her own fault for being such a self-involved and crazy. 

She tumbled through the networks, sobbing and incapable of balance, and when she was finally back at her own rooms she fell through the opening and collapsed on the floor in a flurry of tears and sweat. Kristen turned over onto her side and then she grabbed the panel she had wrenched open not so long ago and fixed it into place, closing it again. Picard had not come to find her. None of the ship’s security staff had either. Data had not followed her. She was alone.

Somehow, Kristen managed to get to her feet. She took a deep breath and was just about to head towards her bedroom when there was a signal at her door. Shaking, she moved over there and touched her hand to the access panel.

It seemed that Picard and Data had pursued her after all.

‘What do I have to do to incentivise you _not_ to careen around the internal networks of my ship?’ the Captain asked, in a gentle tone.

Kristen took another deep breath. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

‘Are you alright? Do you require medical assistance?’ Data asked, moving closer.

She shook her head. ‘No. I’m fine,’ she lied. 

Picard inclined his head and then he frowned. ‘I think that a trip to sickbay might be in order,’ he said.

Kristen forced a smile. ‘If you don’t mind, I’d rather take a bath and then go back to bed. I’m very tired, Captain. A long soak and some sleep would surely be what Doctor Crusher would suggest? We shouldn’t bother her. The ship’s compliment amounts to well over a thousand people. She doesn’t need me taking up her time when I can take care of myself.’

Data was clearly in a professional mindset, given that his Captain was present and leading this confrontation, but enormous worry was sparking in his amber eyes all the same. She recognised the tilt of his lips, the way his pale eyebrows were knitted. ‘If you will not go to sickbay, then will you at least allow us to come in and provide you with company? You should not be alone when you are stressed…’

Her forced smile increased. ‘Thank you, Data, but no. I need to sleep and I doubt I’ll be able to do that unless I’m by myself.’

Picard glanced to Data and then back to her. ‘If you enter the conduit system again, I will have you admitted to sickbay as a long-term patient, Kristen,’ he decided.

She felt a chill roll through her body. ‘That’s understandable,’ she replied, ‘don’t worry. I won’t do that again. Everything will be alright when I’ve rested.’

He looked at her for such a long time that it bordered on awkward. ‘Get some rest,’ he ordered.

‘I will.’ She was so weak by then that she felt like sinking to the floor. ‘I just need time.’

Picard moved back then and Data moved with him. She stood her ground until they turned and started to walk down the corridor together. Even though she knew that Data wouldn’t break out of his professional resolve and beg her to let him stay, he did turn and fix her with a parting glance of sorrow. She knew what he was thinking. She knew that he was terrified that she was going to break down and destroy herself. They maintained eye contact until Picard guided him around a corner and then, when they were out of sight, Kristen closed the doors to her quarters.

Purposeful, she marched through to her bathroom. She bent over her bath and turned on the taps. Cool water splashed downwards, filling the tub. Kristen added no oils or salts or perfumes. Abstractly, she remembered something her Father had said to her when she was still a child. He had said that when she was tired, she should never bathe because if she did, she could slip into a snooze that could drag her down into the water. She could drown. She could die.

_If you fall asleep in the bath, you could drown… could you imagine what that would do to your Mother and I, Krissy? If we were to find you floating there like Ophelia?_

Kristen licked her lips, her eyes creasing with pain. It seemed that her Father had never given her any good advice but as she watched the tub fill more and more with water, she wondered if maybe he’d offered her an antidote to pain she could never have anticipated.

_If I died, Data and Lore would be free…_

_They would grieve, sure, but time would pass and they would carry on. They’d find release in the knowledge that I was gone and then they could progress and fall in love with other people, other women or men or beings who would bring an uncomplicated passion to their lives…_

_They would stand a chance of finding happiness. They would heal. Move on. Live._

She took off her clothes and got into the bath. The frigid temperature didn’t bother her at all. With heavy, exhausted eyelids, she watched as the water level rose and rose and rose. When it was close to spilling over the sides of the tub, she sat up and turned the taps off. That was when she said a silent prayer and then lay back in the water, holding her breath and wishing for an end that would absolve everyone involved in this agony.

_I need to die. It is the only way._

Submerged, Kristen opened her eyes. Lore had once told her that she was waterproofed but she hoped that some of the liquid might surge in through her eye sockets and spark an electric shock that would end her. Sadly, he had safeguarded her to such an extent that she was able to see through the water and be immersed in it without being killed. She continued to hold her breath, hoping and hoping that she would drown.

_Twenty seconds. Sixty seconds. Three minutes._

But she did not drown. Lungs burning, she shot out of the water with grasping hands. 

Coughing, sobbing, aching, she hunched forwards as her tears mingled with the bathwater.

‘What do I have to do?’ she cried, to herself, only herself, ‘what do I have to do to end this?’

Kristen made a decision then. It was a decision that would be the first in a series of fateful, life-changing events that would change absolutely everything. She would spend the rest of this day and night alone, tomorrow as her final day with Lore and the day after that as her final day with Data. Then she would find some other way to end her life. She would free herself and free Lore and Data in the process. 

The end was in sight. To Kristen, it could not come quickly enough.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Some reviews would be very much appreciated :)


	47. Heart Of Dusk

The following day brought more therapy for Lore. When Troi told him that the session was over, he remained in his seat. He was in such a state of thoughtfulness that it didn’t even occur to him to stand up and get on his way. This particular bout of therapy hadn’t been so different to any of the others but because it had been longer by roughly an hour and fifteen minutes, there had been plenty of time to discuss the variety of issues he was still working through. That much had led to him talking far more than he had in the past. 

That was one of the reasons he was still engrossed in the appointment. Lore was struck by the fact he’d grown so used to these sessions that he confessed his pains with ease now. His progress was clear, even to him. 

‘Lore?’

He looked up and then at Troi. ‘What?’

She gave him a polite smile. ‘You’re free to go now. I’m not attempting to rush you out of here, but… I do have another patient who will be on their way to me by now.’

Slightly embarrassed, he stood up. ‘I was lost in thought for a moment there,’ he said.

‘Are you alright?’

‘Sure.’ He shrugged. 

She smiled again and looked back at her comm screen. He knew she’d be reading over her notes on whoever would be next to receive her advice and understanding. His gaze remained on her for a moment or two as he considered how she did all of this without expecting anything at all in return. It was her job, of course, but it also said a lot about her as a person. Such selflessness would have struck him as idiotic in the past but at that moment, Lore considered it with a mind that was far more open than it had been when he functioned without ethics.

Troi looked up at him again. Her smile was curious now and perhaps slightly amused. ‘I know there has to be a good reason why you’re lingering like this but I can’t quite work out what it might be,’ she said.

Lore narrowed his eyes, almost gave her an acerbic remark, but then caught himself. ‘I was just thinking about how nice you’ve been to me,’ he replied.

‘And?’

‘Well… it’s helpful. I appreciate it.’

Astonishment crossed her face. ‘Are you thanking me?’ she asked.

‘I suppose so,’ he said.

‘From you, I know that to be pretty generous,’

‘It’s deserved.’ Lore felt the embarrassment return. He was used to being kind to Kristen but not used to being nice to anyone else, even when he was in their debt. ‘I am… grateful… that you listen to me and spend time with me every day,’ he added, ‘you told me that you postponed your wedding to Riker so you could stay on the ship and help with the fallout from all of these unfortunate events. Thanks for that and… for everything else.’

Troi just looked at him for the longest moment. 

Awkward, he moved over to the door. He could feel that he was scowling. Trying to be a good, honest person was damned hard work at times. ‘Look, I’ll go,’ he said, ‘I didn’t want to make a big issue of this, I simply wanted to be… polite.’

Just as he turned to leave, she stood up from behind her desk. He sensed her movement, heard it too, and so he halted. Troi came over to him and then she put a hand to his arm. Lore turned his head and looked at her. ‘I accept your thanks,’ she told him, in a soft tone, ‘and I know it’s not easy for you to be gracious. The biggest reward I receive as a Counselor is the knowledge that my patients are growing and healing as people, no matter what their issues are. You _are_ progressing, Lore. You’re still you, but you’re also more. I hope you can feel it. You saying thank you to me today is a huge sign of that.’

He nodded to her. ‘Okay.’

Troi moved her hand from his arm. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?’

‘Yeah. I’ll be here.’

Unable to bear any more of this exchange, he got out of there and started making his way down the corridor at once. He was sure that Troi was watching him go, probably as nonplussed as he was by his chagrin, but he didn’t care. Lore wanted to get back to his quarters and be alone for a while. Unfortunately, when he entered the turbolift he found that it wasn’t empty. 

Captain Picard was there and reading something on a PADD. The Captain looked up, they locked eyes and then he looked back down at whatever he was reading. Then he paused, his grey eyes lifted once more and they appraised one another. 

‘Picard,’ Lore said, by way of a greeting. 

Picard nodded to him. ‘Lore.’

The doors closed. The lift travelled between decks and for a minute or two not a word was said. Then Lore glanced to his left again and saw that Picard was watching him. Lore hated being stared at and so he turned around. ‘What is it?’ he said, trying not to snap, ‘if you have something to say to me then say it,’

‘Have you just come from a therapy appointment?’

‘Yes. Where else would you expect me to be? I told Kris I wouldn’t go to her rooms without being invited and there’s nowhere else for me to go. I’m not _wanted_ anywhere else,’ he returned.

Picard gave him a stony look. ‘Halt turbolift,’ he said.

The last thing that Lore was in the mood for was another heart-to-heart with someone in uniform but as it was, he couldn’t do much about it. The lift stopped. ‘Great,’ he said, voice dripping sarcasm.

‘I am not about to lecture you,’ Picard said, even though his expression remained tense.

‘Then what’s this about?’ Lore asked, gesturing around himself with an impatient hand.

‘I want to know how your therapy is going. Troi cannot divulge details to me, as you well know, but you can inform me as to your progress,’ was the reply.

‘I’ve been told I’m doing well,’ Lore said.

‘And?’

‘I’m trying. I’m putting the work in. Between that and my ethical subroutine, it seems I stand a chance at bettering myself.’ Lore leaned against the wall behind him. ‘Data and I have talked. It wasn’t without spite at times but we managed to compromise on certain issues,’

‘Kristen Harper,’

‘That’s our girl.’

Picard watched him. ‘I have no intention of further involving myself or any of my crew in your personal life or in the personal lives of Commander Data or Kristen too… but should she continue to use the conduit system of my ship as an escape route when she is suffering and confused, I have decided that she will be admitted to sickbay as a long-term patient. Her mental and physical health is important to me. I might not have known her as long as I have known the majority of my bridge crew but I care enough for her situation to be deeply concerned for her,’ he said.

Lore nodded. Then he sighed. ‘I know. You don’t need to warn me to go easy on her. That’s what Data and I compromised on. We both love her very much but that doesn’t make any of it a walk in the park. She can’t choose between us and so we’ve agreed to let her come to either one of us when she’s ready. Sharing her is-’

‘No doubt putting immense psychological stress on her,’ Picard interrupted, ‘and she is still trying to make sense of what you did to her. She is neither human nor android. I know what it feels like to be put through such changes. These violent and painful turns in her life are the stuff of nightmares and I should know.’

Lore felt the guilt throbbing inside him. ‘Is there anything else that is explicitly obvious that you’d like to point out or shall we get on our way?’

Picard stared at him. ‘We will get on our way when I say so. You are on _my_ ship and as such, you answer to me as and when I request it. I want to know what you expect to do with yourself, Lore. I will not permit you to live here just as a source of perturbation and heartache for one of my ex-officers. You are held here as a criminal and also as someone who is in the process of rehabilitation, even if only partially. When Troi has released you from her watch, what will you do? How will you contribute?’

‘Oh,’ Lore said, ‘that,’ 

‘Yes, _that,_ ’

‘Well… I don’t know yet. I guess it’s yet another thing I need to consider,’

‘Your contribution will be part of your rehabilitation,’ Picard added, his tone losing some of its coldness, ‘and I am sure that Troi would agree with me when I suggest that you applying yourself to offering help and assistance to my crew where needed would be a worthwhile attempt at an occupation. You will never be a part of Starfleet and nor will you be accepted as an employed civilian but I will grant you the chance to prove yourself on occasion.’ 

Lore’s eyebrows raised.

‘Your status as an android gives you advantages, cognitive and physical and otherwise, and when the time is right I would like to put that to good use. Not to use you for your status and not for your self-gain either but to continue to better yourself. It is for the advantage of everyone, yourself included. Before you ask what you will get in return for unpaid hard work, I would like to remind you that you are being afforded chances you do not deserve already, especially when we consider the grand variety of offences you have committed.’

Lore wondered if the sentence he’d been waiting for had just been laid out for him. He was tempted to argue but when he mulled it over, he realised it was kindness masked by a stern voice and hard eyes. It wasn’t open-hearted charity but Picard was correct that he was being offered far more than he’d earned. In the past, all he had done was harm or attempt to harm these people. Now, he wasn’t exactly being welcomed with hugs and smiles but he was being given a place. The only places he’d had in years gone by were the ones he’d taken for himself. It had never worked out. Could this work out? Over time, could he continue to grow?

‘Speak,’ Picard ordered, ‘I have work to do on a new mission we are undertaking and I do not have all day to indulge you.’

Lore stood up from the wall. ‘I agree to your conditions,’ he said.

Picard gave him a slow, thoughtful nod. ‘One foot over the line and I will land you back in deep therapy again right from the beginning. I will make you jump through hoops endlessly until I deem you worthy of even a modicum of extended trust and even then you will be monitored by the hardest and most unforgiving members of my crew. This will not be easy for you, Lore. But… if you put the work in, you will reap the same benefits as everyone else.’

Lore took all of that in. Being spoken to this way was hard but he managed to keep a grasp on the unexpected generosity within the warnings. ‘All I can say is that I’ll continue doing what I’m doing. What else _can_ I do? I’m attending therapy, being patient with Kris and I’m also figuring some stuff out with Data. If you decide to give me opportunities to assist the people on this ship, then I’ll set my mind to it and I’ll hope it works out. I’m not fighting change, Picard. I’m not fighting at all, except to better myself for Kris and try to be who she deserves,’

‘Fine. I will check in with you on occasion and you will continue to see Troi. Apply yourself, be conscientious and fate may be kind to you for once.’ Picard told the turbolift to continue its journey then and a heavy silence hung between them for the next several minutes.

Lore stood there, thinking about the fact that Picard had conceded that he hadn’t been granted the best hand of cards in life, and then when they got to his deck and the doors opened, he hesitated for a second. ‘I’m not who I used to be,’ he said.

Picard nodded. ‘Focus on the things you can change, Lore. Not on the things you cannot.’

The lift doors closed. Lore frowned a little and then he turned and walked away. 

He’d had a rather thought-provoking day so far and his head was more full of introspection that it had been during his session with Troi. He figured that he’d go back to his rooms and try to balance some of it. Getting used to being on the _Enterprise_ as a fixture instead of a prisoner would take time, as would being spoken to the way he’d been addressed just now. But being here, even helping the crew with whatever menial tasks they would eventually put him to, was much preferable to being anywhere else. 

Kristen was here, on this ship. She was here…

Sitting on the floor outside of his quarters.

Lore halted where he stood. He’d not seen her since he’d walked her back to her rooms after their conversation with Data. She had bare feet and she wore a plain black dress that was ill-fitted to her slender frame. Her knees were drawn up and her head was rested on one of them. Rocking slightly, she seemed to be lost in a world of her own.

Concern jabbed at his heart and he moved over to her at once, crouching down next to her. ‘Hey,’ he said, ‘Kris? What’s going on? Are you okay?’

She turned her head and looked up at him. Her eyes were sore and there were grey smudges beneath them. But also, she began to smile as soon as she realised he was there. ‘Hi,’ she said, ‘I’ve been waiting for you for over an hour. I thought you’d be home by now,’

‘I got caught up with Troi and then Picard wanted a word with me too.’ Lore put a gentle hand to her wrist and then used the other to help her up to her feet. ‘Are you alright?’

‘I had a bit of a bad day yesterday. I hadn’t slept well following our chat with Data in his quarters and it sort of… washed over me. I was overwhelmed. I still am. But I have come to some conclusions. Well, one conclusion really,’ she replied.

‘Let’s get you inside,’ Lore said, still holding onto her as he guided her through the doors to his rooms. ‘What have you concluded?’

Kristen sighed. ‘Do you mind if we don’t talk about it? I can’t handle the specifics,’

‘That’s very cryptic,’

‘I know. You might have to forgive any unusual behaviour from me today. I’m in an unusual state of mind.’

He looked over her face, taking his time. She wasn’t well, that much was obvious, but if avoiding the gory details of her depression was what she needed than he was fine with playing along. ‘I’m just glad you’re here,’ he replied.

‘I’m here for a reason,’ she said, with a small, tired smile.

‘Oh?’

‘I want to spend the day with you… and the night as well. That’s why I tried to time my arrival for when I thought your time with Deanna would be over.’ 

Lore was intrigued. ‘So… have you decided to proceed with balancing your time with Data and I? Will you spend today with me and then tomorrow with him?’ he asked.

Kristen nodded. ‘Yes, that’s exactly right. I know it’s not ideal for any of us but for now it’s the only choice.’

He tried not to feel a lick of competitive glee over the fact she’d come to spend time with him first but then he remembered that Data would be on duty all day and so it had been a choice that was out of her control. Then he felt bad for having competitive thoughts at all. It was hard to help those old and destructive thought patterns, even if he was putting a lot of effort into changing. Still, she was _here_ and she wanted to spend time with him. A lot of time with him really, given how early in the day it still was. It cancelled out all negative thoughts.

Content then and starting to relax, he moved his hands from her arms and then he put them to her face instead. She looked up at him with her luminous red eyes and he felt a glow of love for her in his heart. Kristen rested her hands on his flanks and then she moved closer, her arms wrapping around him as she nuzzled her face into his chest. Lore embraced her in return. 

_I’ve known her, been close to her for so long… and I still feel butterflies inside when we’re close…_

‘Ask me what I want us to do today,’ she suggested.

‘What do want us to do today?’ he asked.

‘We’re going to go on a date,’ she replied, looking up at him again.

He cocked an eyebrow. ‘A _date?_ ’

‘Yes,’ 

‘Why?’

‘What we have might be twisted and unconventional, to put it mildly, but we do love each other and we are involved in a relationship, Lore. People in relationships go on dates. All we’ve done so far, since we’ve been on the same page at least, is fight and fuck and get screwed up inside by the mess we’re in. I want a different sort of time with you now. I need it and you need it too,’ she replied.

‘I’m… not at all experienced in human courting rituals,’ he said.

‘You don’t need to be. I’ve got it all figured out,’ she told him.

Lore gave her a small smile. He was deeply touched by this. He might have been with Ria at one point and might have been intimate with a variety of women but he’d never been on a real date. He never would have suggested such a thing and nor would he have felt comfortable with something that at one time he would have seen as pointless and disgustingly sentimental. To go on a date with Kristen was something else altogether and he was excited at the prospect, not that he showed it all that much. He was hardly the type of person to be discomposed, even if her suggestion had lit him up inside with happiness.

‘What’s the plan?’ he asked.

‘We’re going to the holodeck.’ She moved back from him and then she took his hand. ‘I got up early today so I could create a program for us to share. It took me ages.’

Lore’s smile grew. ‘This is going to be horribly romantic, isn’t it?’

‘Oh yes. It’ll be dripping with saccharine,’ she replied, with a soft laugh, ‘you’ll find it to be quite gruesome in its unbridled tenderness.’

He rolled his eyes, playfully so. ‘I don’t know if I can make it, actually… I think I might be busy,’

‘Really? Well, that’s a shame. I had plans to shower you with rose petals and make slow, sweet love to you by candlelight.’

He narrowed his eyes, wanting to continue the charade of thinking this to be horrendous, but a laugh broke free from him and then he was grinning quite helplessly. ‘What have you really got planned?’ he asked.

Kristen laughed too. Her eyes were still exhausted, her face pale, her energy as pained as it was flirtatious, but she was working with him on this and he appreciated it more than she could ever know. ‘Come with me,’ she said, ‘and I’ll show you.’

* 

In actuality, the program Kristen had designed was not at all too much. In fact, Lore thought it was rather perfect. She’d created a beach program – set at dusk – and that was it. No love songs, no candles, no flowers and no wine. Just miles of moonstone sand, a cool blue ocean and skies overhead that were dark pink and littered with stars. It was as beautiful as it was relaxing. The aesthetics she’d chosen were appealing and so was the sound of the ocean and the slight breeze that rolled in with the tide. 

Lore had done some travelling in his time but he was sure he’d never been anywhere so exquisite, even if it was just some holodeck similitude of paradise. 

‘Correct me if I’m wrong but I think you’re enjoying this,’ Kristen said, glancing up at him.

He squeezed her hand in his. ‘Well, it definitely beats being in either of our quarters,’ he replied.

She smiled and they walked on together. ‘I wanted some time alone with you,’ she said.

‘I always want that. I’m glad you brought me here.’

Lore reflected on the sense of privacy they had. It was as though they were truly alone together on some far-flung planet and that they’d been afforded the same divine isolation they’d last had when still living in the lab on Terlina III. This was better though, somehow. Lore was unsure if that was because the jungle planet held such bittersweet memories or it was because he and Kristen had both changed so much but he vastly preferred where and how they were now. The one thing he would change, if he could, was the pain she was carrying inside. 

Still, she was bearing up rather well for the time being. He knew he wasn’t the only one who was enjoying this experience. 

‘Shall we sit down for a bit?’ she suggested, coming to a standstill.

‘If that’s what you want, then fine.’ He let go of her hand, waited for her to take a seat and then when she was settled, he moved to sit behind her.

Kristen frowned a little, confused as she looked over her shoulder at him, but as soon as he put his arms around her and pulled her backwards against his chest she relaxed and her smile returned. She rested the back of her head against his shoulder, brought her legs up a little and then they were both comfortable and settled in their spot. Lore held her and kissed the side of her head, just next to one of her positronic grafts, and then he sighed contentedly as he gazed out to the ocean, resting his face against hers. 

‘I think I could get used to this dating thing,’ he told her, quietly so, ‘you clearly know me well enough to plan a program that is suitable,’

‘I never would have suggested hearts and flowers, Lore. It’s not you,’ she replied.

He wondered then. ‘But is it you, though?’ he asked.

‘I’m a romantic soul, I guess. I appreciate getting flowers sometimes. I’m fond of an occasional dinner date too… because food is better when shared and eating with someone you love can be extremely pleasant. Other than that… I’m easily pleased. I don’t need grand gestures to be happy,’ Kristen said.

Lore did not have a poet’s soul but he definitely wanted to make Kristen happy. Seeing her smile was wonderful. She might have gone a little crazy the other night when they were talking with Data about balancing their three-way arrangement but it seemed that she’d calmed and come to terms with at least some of it. Why else would she have planned today so carefully and then set aside a day for Data tomorrow? If she wanted to date them both then Lore knew that his time with her could not entirely revolve around what he felt comfortable with. He would need to do the things she’d just mentioned – give her flowers sometimes, eat with her, be nurturing and companionable. 

Really, it didn’t feel all that terrible. No-one else needed to know that he was capable of being soft when needed. It reminded him of Terlina III once more; back when he’d first activated her in her current state. He’d realised that taking care of her (being her “fucking nursemaid”) wasn’t entirely disagreeable. Caring for her, having someone to care for, was… good. So had been the silliness and the games she’d incited. Even when she’d been innocent she had known how to reach him. That knowledge remained. 

Lore decided that as time went on, he’d surprise her on occasion. He’d make loving gestures, even if they would always be in private and would always be within his comfort zone, but he would make them all the same. 

She tilted her head back a little, looking up at him. He looked into those tired eyes in return. ‘I can’t believe you’ve never been on a date,’ she said.

‘I don’t think it’s that hard to believe. Human customs were something I intentionally rejected in the past. I wanted no part of any of it. I know Data has a fixation on becoming more human but it’s never been within my realm of understanding, nor something I would require. I’ve never slept, rarely eaten food or drank liquids… my life has been removed from those things, Kris. I’m not human. I don’t want to be human,’ he replied.

‘But there are some human past-times you enjoy,’ she countered.

‘Yes, I know. Some are appealing, I suppose. This is certainly appealing.’

Kristen turned around in his arms then so she was facing him. He kept them around her, not wanting her to move away. She crossed her legs, rested her hands in her lap and then she sat there and gave him a long look, one that was so serious that it took him offguard. Her smile was gone, her eyes were focused and it seemed as though she had something important she wanted to tell him.

‘What is it?’ he asked.

‘Nothing,’ she replied, ‘I just wanted to look at you.’

He wondered if a touch of humour might dissolve this sudden change of mood. ‘Well, I’m not surprised. I am rather easy on the eye.’

Her mouth twitched but she didn’t laugh.

‘Did you bring me here for more than just wanting to spend time alone with me?’ he ventured.

‘Kind of. But I still don’t want to talk about it. All I want for today and tonight is for us to get on, be close, be good to one another and make some memories,’ she replied, ‘good memories. Not ones that are touched by how we met or what you did to me. New memories. Sweet ones.’

He lifted a hand and moved some tendrils of hair back from her face. ‘It confuses me on occasion that you can have the ability to be so kind to me. After everything I’ve done to you, you should hate me with every fibre of your being. You should want to hurt me, not be close to me.’

‘Well…’ Her scarlet gaze shifted away to the ocean for a moment and then it returned to him. ‘When you changed me you didn’t just change my body. That’s a fact no-one can deny. Even with all of my memories intact, everything save for unit 24-E, I am still not the woman I was before you took me. There have been times where I did think I was the old Kristen Harper again but too much has happened. Too much has changed,’ 

‘I know…’

‘I’ve been so many people over the past few months; a Starfleet Counselor, a human being, a captive, a wrecked soul, a cyborg, a blank slate, a blend of Kristen and pet… and now I am all of that mixed up together.’

He brushed more hair away and then cupped her face with his palm. ‘I wish I could take it back. The bad things, I mean. I regret what I did to you. When I think about it, the worst of it, I-’

Kristen shook her head at him, silencing him before he could vent any more guilt. ‘This is not why we’re here. Good memories, remember? Sweet ones? Not constant throwbacks to the past. I can’t bear it.’

At that, Lore nodded. Whether he was worthy of such things or not, it was what she wanted and he couldn’t deny her. He watched her eyes, her slightly furrowed eyebrows, the blue lights blinking on her head, the curve of her full lips, and considered how sweet memories were made. They had some already, had definitely shared some gorgeous moments, but she wanted more. He remembered chasing her around his creator’s lab and at that he made his mind up. 

_It’s time to play._

Standing, he took both of her hands and brought her up with him. Kristen’s frown increased at first as she steadied herself and then she tilted her head, confused. Lore lifted her hands up so that her arms were raised and then he bent a little at the waist and pressed his shoulder to her solar plexus. She started to ask what he was doing but he simply smiled to himself as he hoisted her up and then he was carrying her over his shoulder as he started to walk towards the water’s edge. 

‘Lore,’ she said, clutching onto his back, ‘when I said I wanted to make memories, this wasn’t really what I was thinking,’ 

‘I’m sure,’

‘You should put me down, alright?’ 

He laughed a little to himself and then he broke into a light jog that soon became a run. ‘Trust me.’

She shrieked in alarm and he felt her whole body tense up. ‘You’re freaking me out! What are you doing? Lore? _Lore?_ ’

He raced into the water and when it was at his knees and she was starting to use rather unsavoury words in her demands to let her go, he halted. The water was warm, soaking into the fabric of his pants. Overhead, the sky had streaks of gold now as well as pink. ‘You really want me to put you down, Kris?’ he asked.

‘Yes!’ she shouted, ‘put me down right now!’

‘Alright. Sure. Whatever you want.’

He took hold of her and then he moved her down so that she was in his arms instead of over his shoulder. Her face was flushed with annoyance. Laughing, he kept his hands on her forearms as he then used a swift but gentle kick to knock her legs out from under her. One moment she was glaring at him and the next she was in the sea. She’d be even more annoyed for the next few seconds but then he knew she’d give in to the ridiculousness he’d incited. He _knew_ he was right.

Kristen splashed around as she tried to get back up again immediately but the tide pulled her back a little and so she disappeared under a wave. Lore put his hands on his hips, just watching her. By the time she’d managed to get her bearings and was pulling herself up to her feet, absolutely soaked through, she looked as though she was ready to kill him. 

‘You unbelievable fuckwit!’ she yelled.

He nodded at her, grinning. 

‘I’ll get you for this!’ She spat out some seawater. 

‘I hope so. That’s kind of the idea here, Kris.’

At that, she took a couple of deep breaths. ‘What?’

‘Don’t you remember? It’s a game. How did you describe it? Oh yes. “A competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance on the part of two or more persons who play according to a set of rules, usually for their own amusement.” That’s what you said at the lab…’

She blinked, took another deep breath and then, just as he had expected, she started to smile. It was an amused smile but not without a lingering note of annoyance. ‘And what the hell sort of rules come with a game like this? One where you grab the woman you love and end up soaking her in the ocean?’

‘I don’t know that part. I guess we’ll have to make it up as we go along.’ He started to back away from her slowly and at the same time, he lifted his hands and beckoned her over with them. 

She looked at his hands. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Come on, beautiful. Come on and get your own back, if that’s what you want…’ he encouraged.

Kristen laughed. ‘At least when I incited play-time with you it didn’t strip you of your dignity…’

‘So? Since when did I ever play nicely?’ He beckoned her again. ‘I never saw any merit in fairness when it comes to games.’

She started to move towards him then, wading through the water.

_Yes. Yes. You might want to slap me right now but when we look back on this in years to come, I know you and I will laugh ourselves stupid over this. I just know it, Kris._

‘How about you stop backing up like some faintheart? You really want me to chase you?’

‘That’s how we do this. You started it, way back when…’

Kristen rolled her eyes and then she went from slow wading to an instant sprint. Lore turned around in the blink of an eye and then he was racing away from her and she was after him. He could hear her laughter as she tore through the waves and he laughed too, glad that he’d finally provoked her enough to get things moving.

He could hardly believe how enjoyable this was, as he picked up speed and put some distance between them. He heard Kristen swear at him again and then she too used her cybernetic legs to try and gain on him. In almost no time at all they’d covered over a mile of beach. Had Lore ever had a childhood and not some awkward transition into sentience that had been darkened by abuse and neglect, he was sure that he would have played chase with pretty girls all day long. He would have laughed just as he was right now. He would have been thrilled. There would have been fun instead of cruel taunts, imagination instead of looking for help in all the wrong places. 

Casting those thoughts from his mind, he began to slow down a little. He wanted her to catch him. That was the whole point.

They covered more ground and then when Kristen realised he was giving her an opportunity, she launched herself at him. Lore turned, sidestepped, and avoided her. She went tumbling back into the water again but this time she did not fall. Managing to find some balance and keep her footing, she whirled around and faced him. She was panting a little as starlight reflected off the seawater that had drenched her anew but she was laughing too. Kristen kicked at the water and then he was the one who was soaked. 

‘Hah!’ she exulted.

Lore gave her a look, one that pretended to be angry when really he was filled with glee and bliss, and then he started to stride towards her. ‘Time for your payback now, I think.’

Kristen offered a crude hand gesture and then she turned her back on him and started to race back up the length of beach they’d already covered. ‘You’ll have to catch me first!’

Lore watched her hair sailing out behind her, how that ill-fitting dress clung to her body, her long legs and the freedom in her movement. After a moment of deep appreciation he could not deny himself, he wiped some water from his face and then he took off after her.

She tried to outrun him but he was faster. As soon as he was close behind her, he grabbed hold of her and then he picked her up and spun her around. Kristen was laughing so much she was hoarse. Lore spun her around again and then when he let her go, she wobbled in her dizziness. It didn’t stop her from bending so she could use both hands to start splashing him again. Her let her do that, but not for long. As soon as he was as soaked as he could handle, he came for her once more and then he wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up.

‘I win!’ she laughed, ‘I win!’

He carried her out of the water, over to where the sand was dry and then he set her back down on her feet. ‘You win?’ he asked.

‘Well, yeah…’ She grinned up at him. 

‘Nope.’ He used his foot to swipe her legs out from her under her again and she landed hard on her backside with a thump. ‘I win,’ he said.

Kristen scowled up at him, hair in her eyes, sand stuck to her wet body. ‘Now that was just mean.’

Lore laughed and then he dropped to his knees and moved over to her, not all minding that seductive blush that had risen on her cheeks. He grabbed hold of her thighs and pulled them so that she was on her back and then he lowered himself on top of her and kissed her before she could complain any more. He expected a touch of resistance because of her bratty side but instead of trying to push him back, she reached to enclose her arms around his neck and sank her teeth into his lower lip. 

One kiss, one bite, one swaying thrust of his hips against hers and he was ready to rip that dress from her body and sink himself deep inside her. Not yet, though. Not yet.

Kristen held him close and then she wrapped her legs around him. Her tongue was in his mouth and she tasted of the sea they’d played in. The kissing went on and on, so much so that when he finally opened his eyes again and pulled back to give her a chance to breathe, the sky above them was ink blue and a green moon had risen. She panted, moving her hands to his face, and looked up at him. When she licked her lips, he wanted to do the same thing to them and so he leaned in and tasted her again. 

She giggled and the sound affected him, made him want to tickle her so the giggling would intensify, and so he did. Lore grabbed her wrists and held them over her head, fixing them there with one hand. Then he used his other hand to make her squirm and kick with tickles that amused him as much as they drove her crazy. 

Again, he knew he needed to let her breathe. Letting go of her, he knelt back and looked down at her as she arched on the sand and laughed. She had tears in her eyes because of all of this delight and it was so precious, he knew he’d never forget it. Not that he could forget anything, of course, but this really was becoming a series of sweet memories beyond compare.

Eventually, she tempered herself and then she rested on her elbows and gazed up at him. She was still smiling, still wet, still sandy. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘this hasn’t exactly gone the way I intended it to but… all things considered, it’s rather a unique sort of date.’

Lore inclined his head. ‘We make our own rules,’ he replied.

Kristen’s smile became a touch serious then. ‘Yes, we do. Shall we get out of here now?’

‘Where do you want to go?’

‘Back to your quarters,’

‘And then?’

‘We clean off, you replicate desserts for me to eat and then we go to bed,’ she replied.

Lore offered her his hands and when she took them, he slowly helped her up. ‘And then?’ he repeated, still playful.

‘This is only our first date,’ she replied, giving him a mock-horrified look, ‘what more could you possibly expect?’

He kept hold of her hands as he started to guide her into walking with him. ‘You know I don’t sleep. I have no purpose for a bed in my quarters except for-’

Kristen laughed. ‘Don’t push it, Soong.’

* 

They walked out of the holodeck together, both soaking wet and sandy, and he kept her hand in hers as they began their journey back to his rooms. The state they were both in elicited baffled expressions from passing officers or civilians but Lore barely noticed them. He was far too attuned with the woman at his side and far too distracted by the mood they were in. They were not speaking to one another with words, but the gentle rubbing of her thumb over the backs of his fingers and the occasional heated glance he gave her said more than anything verbal ever could.

In the turbolift, they stood side-by-side and the silence continued. Water dripped from her hair. He could hear the droplets hitting the floor beneath them, as he could also hear the steady thumping of her pulse. Kristen was just as worked up as he was. The energy was sparking all the time, despite its invisibility. Lore stared at the doors in front of them for a long moment and then when she rubbed his fingers again, he turned his head and locked eyes with her.

Kristen smiled. He smiled back at her, raising his eyebrows a little. She showed some teeth and then she looked up at the ceiling instead, biting her lip. Lore continued to watch her, wondering if she knew how badly he wanted to press her up against the wall and slide a hand up her inner thigh until he was pushing his fingers inside her. How he wanted to part those thighs and stand between them, entering her with his cock instead of his fingers. She knew he was turned on, but did she know how much? Kristen clicked her tongue a couple of times and then looked to him once more. Her smile was entirely mischievous. 

The turbolift doors opened and when he exited first, he pulled her so that she was close behind him. He couldn’t bear to look at her again until they reached their destination. If he did, he was sure he’d be back in the brig for doing indecent things to her in public. Worth it or not, he would much rather take her in private.

On autopilot, Lore continued to pull her along until he caught sight of more uniforms coming towards them; these ones black with teal. It was Doctor Crusher, Counselor Troi and some other medical staff. He turned then and back Kristen into a break in the corridor, hoping they could hide there until the coast was clear. She shuffled up behind him and put her hands to his shoulders. Lore didn’t move at all, he just stayed in front of her and waited, hoping against all hope that they were not about to be asked what they were doing. It wasn’t as though either of them looked presentable. 

Kristen leaned up and bit his ear. Then she nibbled it instead, deliberately seductive.

‘Stop it,’ he whispered, trying not to sound aroused.

She giggled. ‘Why? I still want to play…’

‘Not now. Be quiet!’

She bit his ear again. ‘Make me,’

‘You’ll pay for this,’

‘I hope so. Hah!’

Crusher, Troi and the others walked passed them, talking amongst themselves. Lore kept waiting for one of them to intuit that something was amiss but luck was on his side. He peered around the corner and waited until they were all safely inside the turbolift. When the doors closed, he turned around and stared at Kristen. 

‘What?’ she said, eyes gleaming.

He grabbed her hand. ‘Come with me,’ he intoned, and then dragged her down the corridor at such a brisk pace they were at his rooms in less than a minute.

The doors opened and he took her inside. She let go of his hand and turned from him, walking into the lounge area. Lore stood there for a moment, reminding himself that she was not entirely artificial and therefore must be treated with a degree of carefulness, and then he let his gaze run over her with hunger that was no longer possible to suppress. Moving quickly, he came up behind her and then he grabbed the backs of her arms. 

Kristen laughed, trying to turn around, but he didn’t allow it. He kept her still and then he dropped a few kisses up the back of her neck. She stopped laughing then and shivered instead. Lore walked her over to the sofa, slowly so and with purpose. He didn’t sit her down. She was bent over the back of it and then he was holding her there with firm hands. One kept her there as the other lifted her dress up to her hips. Kristen writhed and then she gave a quiet moan, one that made him narrow his eyes. Lore pushed his hardness against her backside, wanting to once again communicate with her through actions alone.

She managed to look over her shoulder at him. ‘Payback?’ she asked.

Slowly, he nodded his head. Lore wasn’t able to smile at her. He knew she’d wanted to clean up and eat before anything else, but she’d fired him up and he knew she’d done it on purpose. Some games were not so innocent. 

_Maybe I’m more human than I realised…_

He kept her in position as he nudged her legs apart with his knee. She gasped at the feeling and bowed her head so she was holding a more submissive posture. Another moan followed from her, a soft one that sent a shiver down his back. Lore yanked her knickers down and then he took another moment to steady himself. Kristen kept herself bent, her legs open, and then she pulled her arms from his grasp so she could reach in front of herself and find purchase on the edge of one of the sofa cushions. Obviously, she knew she was going to need something to hold onto. She was right.

Lore watched that approvingly and then he was unfastening his pants. The first thrust inside her was a hard lunge, one he couldn’t help. Kristen cried out and then she moaned again, louder. He slid his hands down her back and then he took hold of her hips, not moving inside her again just yet. Staying still, filling her, he listening to her laboured breathing. Kristen was shivering but she was hot too. He let the moment expand, let her get used to the penetration, and then he pulled out a few inches and pushed back in, even harder than before.

‘Ahhh…’ 

‘I know…’

She surprised him then by lifting her backside up a little and pushing back against him, inviting the sort of rough sex he needed. He smiled to himself, but it didn’t last. Soon he was settling into a rhythm and she was taking it, wet and appreciative. One of his hands reached for her hair and then he was pulling her head back so he could maintain eye contact with her as they made love. Kristen stared at him and he stared right back at her.

Beneath them, the sofa creaked under the strain. 

*

An hour later and they were in his bedroom. Lore was reclining on the bed, his eyes slightly narrowed as he watched Kristen’s every move. 

She was resplendently naked, eating chocolate ice cream with total concentration and glowing with post-coital satisfaction as she lay back against the pillows. He’d taken her again in the shower after their coupling in the lounge and so they were both clean and the sexual tension was sated for the time being. Watching her eat ice cream was surprisingly arousing, though. Lore wasn’t sure if it was the way she licked the spoon on occasion, if was the little hums of pleasure she occasionally made or if it was the little bit of melted cream in the corner of her mouth, but she was working him up again already. He’d wait though. She wasn’t indestructible.

‘I’ll sleep here tonight,’ she said, licking her lips.

‘Hmm. Yes.’ He nodded.

‘But I have to go in the morning,’

‘Alright.’

Kristen looked up from her dessert. ‘Have you ever eaten ice cream?’

Lore considered her. ‘No, I don’t think I have.’

She put the bowl down, knelt up and then moved closer to him. He watched the movement of her bare breasts and then he looked up at her face again. Kristen settled next to him, took her dessert again and then she offered him some on the spoon. He didn’t want to exchange the taste of her most delicious parts in his mouth for something that had to be inferior but her expression was insistent and so he opened up and let her feed him. 

‘Good?’ she asked, smiling.

Actually, it was. Very good. Lore swallowed and then he opened his mouth again. She laughed and gave him some more. Over the next few minutes, he polished off the rest of it and then she discarded the empty bowl and snuggled up by his side. He had an arm around her and she’d pulled a pillow down so they could rest their heads on it.

‘And for my next trick, I will get you to take me dancing,’ she joked.

‘Yeah, I’m sure that’d go just great. There are some things I’ll try for you, Kris, but dancing is _not_ one of them,’ he replied.

She lifted her hand and stroked a finger over his bottom lip. ‘We will try other new things,’ she said, ‘other ways of dating. Other ways of spending quality time together. I want to show you how healing love can be. We have time for that… time…’ Then she moved her hand away and he saw an unmistakable darkness move over her face. 

‘I know you said you were in an unusual mood earlier on, but knowing that doesn’t stop me worrying for you,’ he said. 

Kristen watched his face, her eyes misty.

‘Don’t think I didn’t notice the way you were rocking yourself when I found you outside my quarters. You looked depressed,’ he added, ‘I might not be an expert on relationships or human emotions but I know when you’re struggling. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?’

She shook her head. ‘No. That’s the very last thing I want,’ she replied.

‘You are aware that I’m here for you?’ he asked, ‘that I care and that I want to help if I can? That I love you?’

She frowned, looked away from him and then attempted to move out of his arms so she could sit up. Lore tightened them around her and pulled her against his chest instead. ‘I’m here with you for a reason… I told you that already…’ she told him, her body tense now.

‘I know. You want to make memories,’ he replied, pressing kisses to the side of her face, ‘ones worth keeping. Ones that will be good for us both.’

Kristen sighed. ‘Please do me a favour and don’t try to get me to talk. Not tonight. Tonight has to be special and I won’t have it any other way,’ she said.

‘Are women always so vague?’ he asked.

She pulled back a little to see his eyes. An unexpected ray of sunlight pierced the darkness then in the form of one of her playful smiles. ‘Yes, we are always extremely vague,’ she replied, ‘and our moods shift a lot. You’ll get used to it... just like everything else.’

Lore felt her relax in his arms. ‘Tonight we don’t talk about whatever it is that’s making you act so strange but the next time we’re alone, I want you to communicate with me with no excuses. Alright?’ he put to her.

Kristen nodded. ‘Alright. I can do that.’

Her smile faded and her hand returned to his face, stroking his cheek. She leaned in and kissed him, gently so. ‘Enough talking in general,’ she whispered, ‘and enough resting too. You’ve got me to yourself until the morning and there are surely much better ways to spend time together until then? You know what I’m talking about…’

Lore knew she was deliberately trying to distract him. Still, he had agreed to not pressure her and so he decided to work with her instead. It wasn’t as though he didn’t want more sex. It had been ticking over in the back of his mind since she’d been eating dessert. He took her hand from his face and kissed the back of it. ‘I do know what you’re talking about,’ he conceded. 

Impish, she moved to lie on top of him. Kissing him again, she sidled her hips a little, and then when she’d broken that kiss she sat up and straddled him. Her hands moved to his shoulders and when she gazed down at him, dark hair framed her pretty face. ‘I liked how rough and controlling you were with me earlier on,’ she confessed, blushing a little.

Lore smiled at her. ‘Well, you put me in that place,’ he replied.

‘And you put me in _my_ place. It was good. I liked it…’

He took the hint then. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he sat up properly and took her with him. Kristen settled herself above him as he adjusted their postures, smiling heatedly, her eyes on his. Her back flexed subtly when he ran his hands up it and then, when he took her wrists and squeezed them, she stilled. Lore took a moment to listen to her breathing, to appreciate her warmth and the scent of ice cream on her breath, and then he pulled her close and kissed her. One hand kept hold of her left wrist, the other moved to the back of her neck and into her hair, grasping her there. She made a humming sound and then she started when he used his teeth to nip her tongue, sharply so. 

Kristen pulled back, surprised, but Lore just smiled at her. Soon, she smiled back at him.

Lore moved again. He eased her onto her back on the covers and whilst she was still spellbound by the erotic shift in the mood, he knelt between her open legs and fixed her with a more serious expression than that of before. Curious, she watched him as he stroked his hardness with his hand, and then her eyelids grew heavy and her eyes darkened with lust this time, instead of misery. She continued to watch him as he touched himself, slowly so and with firm-yet-lazy jerks of his wrist, and then she licked her lips. 

He was silent when he let go of his cock and touched her instead. His fingers dipped into her sex, his focus on her eyes unblinking and open. Kristen moaned, her face a perfect depiction of need. Inside, she was wet and tight. Outwardly, she was blushed with heat; nipples puckered, skin glowing. Lore licked his fingers clean when he was done and then he lifted her right leg onto his left shoulder, shifting closer to her. Her whole body opened like a flower and as soon as he entered her, he couldn’t help but gasp at the feeling.

Kristen tried to reach for him, but he caught her hands in his and pressed them down at either side of her head. She wanted control and if there was one thing he was good at, it was controlling others. In the past, it had been dangerous but now, during these private games, it was delicious and true. Closer still, he gave her the rest of himself with a downward sway of his hips and then he stilled to let her adjust to the feeling. Kristen’s neck arched and she turned her head away, making those keening noises he knew to be indicative of great appreciation and pleasure. He held her down, kept her pinned, gave it to her hard. 

And then, sometime later, when she reached a climax that made her cry tears of relief, he withdrew and flipped her over onto her front. She moaned plaintively as Lore parted her thighs and slid back inside her. He covered her body with his, pressing her down.

‘I could die like this,’ she whispered.

‘Why would you?’ he asked, biting her shoulder, ‘we have so much to live for.’

*

At around 9am, Kristen took another shower and this time she did so alone. Following her final night of passion with Lore, she needed some time to herself to adjust to the fact that she would soon be leaving him for good. It was a horrible feeling, but her mind was still set on the plan she’d made to make memories with each brother, each golden guardian, each of the soul mates she was so infatuated with, and then end herself to give them freedom. Kristen was scared to death of where her soul would end up in the afterlife but she would not change her mind. It was the only way out of madness, the only way to prevent inevitable heartbreak, as far as she was concerned. Ending herself was the only way. It was her destiny. It was the biggest gift she could give to those she had hurt and put through hell.

_I am definitely crazy. But it’ll be over soon. Endgame._

She cleaned herself off, washed her body and her hair and then she dried herself thoroughly. Afterwards, she changed into the clean, new clothes she had replicated whilst Lore had been preparing breakfast. They’d eaten together naked in his bed and just like when they’d shared dessert last night, it had been wonderfully sweet and intimate. 

Dressed and refreshed, she attached her comm badge and then she took a moment to think. In order to spend today with Data, she needed to know that he was free. It was likely that he’d have duties. In fact, it was almost certain. Cursing herself for not thinking ahead, Kristen sat down on the edge of the bath and stared into space. Then it came to her – if she spoke to the Captain, she might be able to pull a few strings.

She tapped her badge. ‘Kristen to Captain Picard.’

A pause. ‘Picard here. Where are you?’

Kristen knew why he was asking that question. He was tired of having to chase her out of the internal recesses of his ship. ‘I’m not in a Jefferies tube,’ she replied, ‘have you a moment to speak in private?’

‘Yes, I’m in my ready room. How can I help?’

She almost smiled at that question. He’d been so good to her over time and not only since she’d been altered. Even before that, he had assisted her career, promoted her more than once and had been a wonderful mentor and colleague, even as her superior and Captain. He’d even been a friend. This was likely the last time they would ever converse. Kristen wished she could thank him for everything he’d done, but if she did she would reveal her plans and that couldn’t happen. She had to be neutral, even if her heart longed to bestow gratitude for all of the times he’d come through for her.

‘I have a personal request,’ she replied, ‘I’m feeling a bit under the weather and I was wondering if I could borrow Data until tomorrow? I know you probably need him today but it would be a great help if I could talk to him and spend some time with him also.’

There was a pause. ‘As much as I sympathise with your situation, we are embarking on a new mission currently and I do need my First Officer with me, Kristen,’ he replied.

‘I’m just asking for one day, Sir,’ she added, ‘I wouldn’t ask at all unless it was mandatory. Can Worf not step in until then? I’m sure he’d be happy to,’

‘And what of tomorrow? If I grant Data leave for a day and then tomorrow you contact me with a request for more time then-’

‘That won’t happen,’ she insisted, feeling that more than he could know, ‘I just need him today. Please.’

Another pause. Then a sigh. ‘Alright, Kristen. I’ll send him to your rooms in one hour from now,’

‘Thank you,’

‘Do not ask me for this again. The next time you need assistance, I want you to make an appointment with Deanna. Do you understand?’

‘I do. Thank you.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Sir?’

‘Yes?’

She had to catch herself then, so she wouldn’t let her fondness for him tumble out. She had a pain in her chest and her stomach was aching with emotion. ‘Nothing. Sorry. I’m in an odd state of mind,’ she said.

‘Understood,’ he replied, ‘Picard out.’

And that was that; a formal goodbye, but one that had not left Picard suspicious. Kristen supposed she should be grateful for that much. She stood up from the bath, straightened herself and then she turned to the mirror above the sink so she could straighten her hair, all the time avoiding her eyes in the reflection. When she exited the bathroom, she wanted Lore to think she was relaxed and calm and in a pleasant mood. Kristen was no actress, though. Even without facing herself, she knew she must be giving off waves of discomfort. How else was she supposed to feel? She loved Lore more than she could comprehend and she was about to touch him and speak to him for the last time ever. 

When she did exit the room, she found him waiting for her. He was leaning against the wall near the doorway, as though expecting her instant departure. He was dressed too and he’d tidied up the place some. He likely thought that he’d say goodbye to her and that when she’d spent the day with Data, she’d come back to him. They’d have more dates, more time. 

_I’m deceitful. He used to be the liar and now it’s me who is telling tales. I deserve everything that’s coming my way and more… but don’t worry, Lore. You’ll soon be free. We both will._

He smiled when he realised she was back. That warmth almost killed her on the spot in its sincerity. Kristen moved over to him and couldn’t help but sink into his arms when he opened them to her. She closed her eyes as she breathed in his scent, nestling her face into his shoulder. He rubbed his cheek against hers and then he stroked her hair with a gentle hand. She saved every single second, creating new engrams, recording every tiny movement, every nuance. It was pointless given that those files would likely exist for less than twenty-four hours, but the cybernetic parts of her did not know any other way to preserve such affection. 

Soon, she’d be dead… a ghost… a fragment… alive only in the engrams the sons of Soong created in their own positronic networks. But still, Kristen had to savour this final farewell.

‘Before you start worrying,’ Lore said, pulling back to look at her, ‘I’m not going to flip out about you going to Data now. I respect it. You know I’ll do anything to keep you in my life.’

Kristen nodded, trying not to cry. ‘I know,’ she said.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘Nothing,’ she lied, ‘it’s just the conflict of it all, inside me. I know you’re both compromising as best you can to make this easy on me and I appreciate it,’

‘Is this why you were so weird at times last night? Because you’re still struggling with being shared by us both?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ she lied again, frowning, feeling terrible.

Lore held her face in his hands. His citrine eyes were glistening with sincerity. ‘We’ll make it work,’ he promised, with real conviction, ‘you’ll see, Kris. Everything will be fine. You are so very loved. You know that, right? You are so, so loved.’

She gazed up at him, her heart breaking. ‘Lore,’ she said.

‘Yes?’

‘ _You_ are loved,’ she told him, ‘and there is no part of me that could not love you. I accept you for all that you are, no matter what you’ve done in the past, even to me and people I’ve cared for. I know what it’s like to go through what you’ve been through… I know what it’s like to be neglected and punished by your Father when all you’ve ever wanted is their love… I know what it’s like to feel alone. To be wanting of approval to such extents that you’ll do almost anything to be seen… to be heard. I understand why you became what you became. I understand a cry for help when I see it.’

He was startled then, but he did not interrupt. As she took a moment to collect her thoughts, he tilted his head a little as he watched her eyes.

‘And yes… it’s partially your fault that my Father put me through hell when I was younger, but you know what? I forgive you for that too. Because I love you… and I forgive you, for everything.’

He closed his eyes fleetingly and then opened them once more. ‘Where did this come from?’ he asked, ‘all of this deep stuff? I am so grateful for what you’re saying to me right now but I’d be lying if I was to say it wasn’t worrying me, Kris.’

She moved closer to him again. ‘It’s all coming from my heart,’ she told him, and then she put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Lore held her in return and they kissed for several minutes, mouths moving together with tenderness and slow heat. When it was over, she realised she couldn’t look into his eyes again. If she did, she might spill the truth. Instead, she let go of him and then she opened the doors to his quarters and stepped out into the corridor. There, she steeled herself and took a deep breath. She knew she had to say something now that would assuage his concerns. ‘The next time I see you, I want flowers,’ she murmured.

He hovered in the doorway. ‘Alright,’ he said, ‘but I won’t take you dancing.’

Kristen smiled. ‘Until our next date?’

‘I’ll wait for you to contact me,’ he said, ‘I hope you have a pleasant time with Data.’

She turned then and started to walk away. It felt as though she was walking through a river of treacle, so heavy were her footfalls, but somehow she kept on walking until distance was put between them. She knew that Lore was watching her, probably confused over their overly-sentimental farewell, but she was relieved that he wasn’t following or asking for an explanation for her hypersensitive mindset. 

When she reached the turbolift, she waited for the doors to open. That was when her head turned of its own volition and she cast her eyes back in the direction she had come. Lore was still there, alright. His expression was vague and also concerned. Kristen lifted a hand to give him a farewell wave and when he returned it and politely so, she smiled a little and looked away. It was a huge relief when the turbolift doors hushed apart. She stepped inside and then she sank down to the floor and covered her face with her hands.

_One brother down and one still to go… this time I have no real plan. All I knew when I made this fateful decision is that I wanted my final night to be with Data. Although I love Lore very much, Data is the one I’ve been with the longest and he’s the one I was supposed to marry._

_Before he comes to my quarters, I need to snap back into a stoical state of mind, otherwise he’ll suspect something. Snap out of this, Kris. Snap out of it and do it now. There is one more day and one more night before you meet your end and you’re going to have to be brave and strong until that awful conclusion. Do it for Data. He deserves it. He deserves to spend time with you at your best and even though you’re aching and dying inside already, you’re going to need to hide that and be the sweetheart he remembers…_

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Depending on feedback, I might publish again this weekend. So please do let me know what you think :)


	48. Heart Of Dawn

From the moment that Data was excused from duty and was told to head to Kristen’s rooms, he held a feeling of intense curiosity that was tinged with darksome expectation. Captain Picard had not explained the directive as such. Instead, he had simply told him to get on his way and that he would see him again the following morning for a briefing. He’d been discharged from his responsibilities for no obvious reason and was almost sure it couldn’t bode well.

As Data left the bridge to follow his orders, he found himself wondering what he would find when he was with Kristen again. The last time they were together, he had held her and kissed her following a most complicated and emotional conversation in his rooms. One that had included Lore and one that had concluded on a most unlikely compromise, designed to ensure her wellbeing despite echoes of past hurts and still-mending wounds. He had reassured her to the best of his ability and though he had been concerned for her, he had felt that all was well between them. 

Their romantic connection was not ideal right now, given the fact he was forced to share her, but having her at all was a blessing he could not take for granted. Still, Data couldn’t help but think about her sensitivity, how raw she was, how conflicted she had been when they were last together. Kristen exuded sadness and strife, despite her bravery. She was not in a good place at all.

When he reached her quarters, he decided not to quiz her too much. Being overly inquisitive was intrinsic to his nature but this time he knew it would be far more beneficial to simply spend time with her without bombarding her with questions. Once he’d figured out why she required him and ensured that nothing had frightened or upset her, he’d try to stay calm and just be with her. Their connection would never be what it once was because of how much things had changed, but Data knew they were still good at caring for one another. They still blossomed when in one another’s company and that much would never alter. Data wouldn’t allow it. He loved her too much.

He signalled his arrival and then waited, hoping that she was alright. Just the thought of her in tears again was enough to maintain his anxiety. She answered the door almost immediately. She was pale and drawn, but not crying. ‘You’re here,’ she said.

‘Yes. You requested my presence. The Captain said I should come to you at once,’ he put to her.

Kristen smiled and reached for his hand. ‘Come in and we’ll talk about that.’

Data took that offered hand and followed her until they were in the sitting area. She had him sit down and then she let go of his hand so she could move over to the replicator. She knew what to order without asking him and it didn’t surprise him at all. Coffee had been ‘their’ drink for a very long time. She returned to him with two cups, both with cream and sweetener, and when she’d set them down on the floor, she sat down next to him. He recalled that there used to be table here, but it had been broken and those broken pieces had been removed. Though he could drink the coffee at a hot temperature without incurring a burn, he decided to leave it. 

The atmosphere in the room was oddly strained. Kristen’s eyes lingered on their cups for a moment or two and then they lifted and they looked at one another. ‘I needed you today,’ she admitted.

‘Are you unwell?’ Data asked.

‘Not exactly.’

He tilted his head. ‘Then what is the purpose of me being called here?’

‘Data…’ She inhaled and then released a deep breath. ‘I wanted us to spend today together… and tonight too. Alone, just the two of us. No distractions, no duties, no interferences. Would that be alright with you?’

It sounded wonderful, but something didn’t add up. A certain urgency about all of this was implied, even if indirectly, and Data remained concerned. ‘When the Captain relieved me of duty, I was under the impression that you required me for a necessity,’ he began. Her expression wavered a little as though she had perceived his words as a rejection and so he gently took her hand and held it. ‘I can think of nothing finer or more enjoyable than spending a day and a night with you alone… it is just that I am curious as to why it needed to be today so specifically. I will stay, Kristen. I would much rather be here with you than on the bridge or elsewhere on this ship. I love you.’

She smiled a little then. ‘I love you too,’ she replied.

Data squeezed her hand. ‘How do you wish to spend today?’

‘Well… I thought we could maybe start off with a visit to the holodeck. We’ve shared a lot of programs over time but the English meadow one was always a favourite in the past, right? It was one of the first ones we ever tried out together. Or we could go back to Lake Armstrong. Or we could even start a brand new program. Honestly, I’d like to spend time anywhere that would make you happy. I’ll even have a crack at one of your detective stories… what is it?’

Whilst she’d been saying those words, he knew his face had saddened. ‘I am not currently permitted to use the holodeck suites,’ he replied, ‘because of what happened… the program that involved a confrontation with Lore…’

‘Oh, yes…’ Kristen frowned. ‘Well, that’s out of bounds then. Maybe we could go somewhere else? The Arboretum?’

Data watched her eyes. Again, he was struck by how she seemed to be placing such unusual importance and ceremony on all of this. He reviewed his thoughts and feelings in a microsecond, not losing sight of how he’d decided not to overwhelm her with questions when she was so raw and fragile. He very much wanted to take part in what she was suggesting but he also wanted to be mindful as to the deeper meanings of this odd behaviour.

‘Well?’ she encouraged.

He gave her a small smile. ‘If you want us to spend today alone, then visiting the Arboretum is likely an inappropriate destination,’ he replied, ‘perhaps we should go back to our… my quarters instead?’

Kristen cast her eyes upwards as she thought about that. Then she faced him again. ‘We used to live there together,’ she said.

‘Yes. For some time,’ he agreed.

‘And my things are there…’

‘Yes,’

‘That’s perfect. I’m ready when you are.’

Data stood and took her with him. Ignoring their still-cooling cups of coffee on the floor, they left her rooms and got on their way.

*

When they arrived, she moved ahead of him and as soon as her gaze fell upon Spot, she picked the cat up and then held her in her arms. She’d been asleep on the sofa but now she was half-awake as she was cradled in Kristen’s arms. Data watched this with a distinct feeling of warmth in his heart. It reminded him of the sense of family the three of them had created before all of the trouble. Kristen closed her eyes as she inhaled the buttery scent of Spot’s fur and then she turned around, still holding her. 

‘I love how she still remembers me,’ she said, ‘I might be a freak of nature now, but Spot still recognises me. She still knows me.’

Data moved over to them, lifted a hand to brush the backs of his fingers over the velvet fur of Spot’s head and ears. ‘She does,’ he agreed.

Kristen smiled. ‘Data?’

He turned his eyes to hers. ‘Yes?’

She looked up at him with unmistakable fondness. ‘I want to be with you.’

Data evaluated her tone, her posture, the look in her eyes. She was suggesting intimacy. ‘You are with me. We are alone together,’ he confirmed.

‘I know that, sweetie. But I want to be close to you,’ she replied. Kristen bent to put Spot down then and when she straightened and came to him, she lifted both hands and rested them on his shoulders. ‘I know we can’t have a date on the holodeck, but we can still have a lovely day. Maybe we don’t even need a fantasy program to have a romantic time. We never relied on fantasies in the past, did we? We never needed more than just being with one another. Holodeck dates were nice but the best times were always spent in these rooms,’ she said.

He couldn’t deny that much. ‘What would please you?’ he asked.

Kristen moved one hand to stroke the side of his face. ‘I want to give you everything today. I thought I was being clear about that, but maybe not… don’t ask me what I need, Data. Tell me what _you_ need instead. Nothing would make me happier than giving you whatever you missed when we were apart.’

Focusing on his needs did not come naturally. Data would have rejected the concept, had it not been clear to him that his beloved wanted to share something truly significant with him and immediately so. He took her hand from his face, but only so he could kiss her fingers. She bit down on her lower lip as she watched him do that and then she released it with a sigh of contentment. Her blood-red eyes were glistening.

‘I missed every intimate interaction we shared when you were taken from me. I have no favoured option when it comes to how we should spend today and tonight. Whether we simply sit and drink coffee together and talk… or if we observe more sensual pursuits, undressed and in our bed, all of it is invaluable to me,’ he said.

‘Alright. Come with me,’ she replied.

Data followed her until they were in the bathroom. There, she bent over to turn the tap on and as soon as warm water was filling the tub, she straightened again and gave him a coaxing smile. ‘It’s been a long time since we bathed together,’ she said, quietly so.

He watched her then, as she started to unfasten the black cotton trousers she was wearing. When they were dropped and on the floor, she started to take off her top. She let that fall too and wore only knickers then – elaborate lacy ones that were very attractive indeed. As she stood there, bare-breasted and warm in disposition, Data felt a surge of love for her that was so huge it almost rendered him dumb. 

Coming to him, she reached up and started to undo the fastenings on the upper part of his uniform. Her eyes remained on his and he stayed still until she was ready to undress him. Lifting his arms, he let her pull off the grey and black jumpsuit top and then the red shirt beneath. ‘That’s better,’ she said, letting those items fall to the floor, ‘you can do the rest whilst I see to our bath.’ She gave him a small smile and then she went to turn off the tap.

Data continued to watch her as he unfastened his trousers. He remained perplexed by much of this but it wasn’t enough to dampen the ember of arousal he was feeling already. He knew he was being seduced but when it came to Kristen, he was helpless. Worried or not, confused or suspicious, if she wanted to seduce him then all he could do was submit. He’d been under the spell of her looks and personality for so long now and even when she was pale and stressed and not at her best, Data knew his love for her and desire to always be close to her would win out, at least for now. Maybe later he could try to get her to talk to him and open up but currently he _wanted_ the seduction. He wanted to bathe with her. He wanted – needed – the intimacy she was aiming for more than he could convey.

Kristen picked up the vial of vanilla bath oil she’d used all the time in the past and added some drops to the water. There was no foaming surfactant, no bubbles or lather, just heated water that was strongly scented. She stood up, swirled her hand through the water and then she righted herself so she could slip out of her underwear. Data remembered himself at that same moment; getting out of his trousers so that he too was naked. 

She turned and smiled at him, offering him a hand. ‘Ready?’

‘Yes,’ he replied, moving to take that hand.

A few moments later and they were both in the bath. She wanted him at the curved end and so he settled there obediently. Kristen followed and settled between his open legs, her back to the end with the tap. She didn’t lie back to soak herself, instead she sat with her knees drawn up. The ends of her black-and-white hair floated on the surface of the water around her slender her frame. In the semi-darkness of this room her red eyes seemed more luminous than ever. 

There was no music as a back-drop, no sound at all when they were not speaking. The silence was not painful, though. Instead it was warm and comfortable. She sighed, sounding content, and then she reached for his left hand. Data let her take it and then he observed her as she threaded her fingers through his. Their palms pressed. 

She smiled at the sight and then looked up at him. ‘I think we should stay here until the water cools… and then we should let the cool water out and refill it with hot,’ she told him, ‘I always did like to lounge around in baths. I can’t imagine you did much of that before we became a couple?’

‘That is correct,’ he confirmed, ‘in the past I used water only for cleansing purposes and even that was rare. I preferred to use the sonic shower,’

‘Well, you’ve never had aching muscles to soothe,’ she replied.

‘Nor the desire to unwind in such a way. Some of the trials my emotion chip presented me with might have been soothed by bathing but I did not think of it,’

‘And as your Counselor, I never thought to suggest it,’ she said.

Data smiled. ‘But we did bathe together before you were taken from me…’

‘Yes.’ She smiled back at him. ‘We certainly did. I might not be artistically inclined but we did make an artform of enjoying one another. We bathed together, ate together, slept together. We talked about anything and everything. I shared all I have with you. We had a lot of sex. Are those the things you missed, sweetie?’

He nodded, slowly so. ‘Mostly, I just missed your presence.’

Kristen let go of his hand and then she knelt up a fraction so she could turn herself and change her posture. Data lifted an arm when she came to lay with him and as soon as she was settled against his chest, he held her close. He inhaled the sweet scent of hair, clean and with the sweetness of the vanilla bath oil, and then he kissed the side of her head. 

She looked up at him and smiled. ‘We don’t need to miss each other anymore,’ she told him, ‘I’m here with you now and I’m not going anywhere. At least not today or tonight,’

‘After we bathe-’

‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘Nope. We’re staying here for the longest time. Anything after that can happen of its own accord.’

Data was about to speak again, to try once more to tell her that he desired the simple pleasure of going to bed with her once they were out of the water, when she lifted her mouth and silenced him with a kiss. It was a soft one that pressed and then parted his lips. 

He closed his eyes and wove a hand into her hair, holding the side of her head. All coherent thoughts were gone then, instantly blitzed by the swift return of her seductive intentions. The only appetite he’d ever had was for her and that much crossed his mind as she Kristen slid a hand over the wet planes of his chest. Then she let that hand glide up to his face so she could stroke his cheek as her tongue started to lick at his lips, playful and slow. Data tasted her tongue with his and then the kiss was deepening. She turned herself so that she was facing him fully and then Kristen was dipping her free hand into the water so that she could search for the hardness that was straining already between his legs. 

He gasped into her mouth when she squeezed him there. Her grasp was firm and knowing; the ministration of one lover who knew another lover’s needs and hungers so very well. She broke the kiss to watch his eyes as she rubbed him and Data stayed where he was, eyes slightly anguished now but only because of the desire that was surging inside him. Pleasure, when given to him by Kristen and only by Kristen, could be so intense sometimes that it bordered on raw. It was not uncomfortable but it was acute. He gasped again and she let go of him so that she could move herself onto his lap.

‘We don’t have much room here, but I think we can make this work,’ she told him.

He put his hands to her hips, helping her to get into position. As soon as she began to sink down onto his cock, she was the one who was gasping and he had to close his eyes for a moment or two. Their couplings had always been incredible, moving, satisfying… but since she’d come back to him both physically and emotionally, they were more beautiful still. Data opened his eyes again when she started to sway her hips, knowing he couldn’t miss even a second of this. Kristen moaned with pleasure, her hands grasping at his shoulders and her eyes glowing in the midst of the steam that rose from the bath water. 

‘I love you,’ he said, awed by every part of her, each acre of spirit, each inch of flesh.

Kristen continued to sway. ‘I love you too,’ she replied, ‘so shush now… so I can show you how much.’

*

They did indeed stay in the bath until the water cooled. Hot water replaced the cool, as Kristen had suggested, but they barely had the time to enjoy it given that Kristen was insatiable in her desires and wanted to make love more than once. More than twice, actually.

The second time was more physical than the first. She was barely recovered from her first climax when she shifted from Data’s lap and turned to face away from him. He had been concerned initially but as soon as she lifted her upper body so she could hold onto the other end of the bath and lifted her backside too, he realised what she was doing. She had looked over her shoulder at him, on all fours and glowing from the heat of the water, and as soon as he caught sight of her naughty smile, he was also moving so he could connect their bodies again from behind.

The third coupling was with Kristen on her back and Data atop her. The pleasure should surely have waned by then but instead it was brighter and hotter than ever. As he thrusted into her and she clutched at him, water spilled from the bath and onto the floor. He was reminded of her reckless streak, that part of her that was mischievous and enticing, and at that he chose to ignore any potential water damage. They loved one another completely.

Being with her made him feel free. For most of Data’s life, his only commitment had been to Starfleet and the only loyalty he’d held had been to his colleagues and friends. Since falling in love with Kristen, he’d found joy in another type of commitment and liberation in the intimate things they shared. It was more than just love and sex – it was being a part of something that was theirs. It was true that Lore had splintered that with pain and possessiveness but when he was alone with Kristen, it was as though nothing at all had changed. The core of their love and passion remained and when it came to sex, they were just as united as they had always been.

After their third time together, she was breathless and smiling. Data knew it was time for her to rest and so he got out of the bath first. He took a warm towel and when she joined him, he wrapped her up in it and asked her to sit down whilst he gathered their clothes. His uniform and the black trousers and top she’d turned up in were soaked, as was much of the floor, and so he deposited them in the wall-mounted replicator for cleaning and then he wrapped himself up in a towel too and then asked her if she’d like to go to their bedroom.

It was mid-afternoon by then. Kristen mentioned that she was hungry and that much did not surprise Data at all given how much energy she’d expended during their watery adventures. As she reclined on their bed and talked nonsense to a curious and purring Spot, he went to the replicator in the lounge and started to order some of her favourite foods : creamy pasta dishes, chicken with spices and garlic, vegetable sides, chocolate-based confections and tart fruits that were native to her home planet. It took two trips for him to carry everything through and Kristen was not the only one who was ready for food. 

Data would rather that Spot would not eat with them but his beloved was happy to feed the cat small bites of chicken and so he said nothing and just smiled to himself as he came to sit with them on the bed. Kristen had wet hair and her face was relaxed and content as she shared her meal. He said little as she ate. He was happy to just be with her and to watch over her. Kristen replenished herself until she could eat no more and then she rolled onto her back and giggled as Spot climbed on top of her and padded her breasts with her paws until she was settling down for more cuddles. 

He cleared away the dishes then, still wearing his towel and wondering what else they would share that day. When he was done, he returned to her and found her waiting for him. She was sitting upright and Spot was on the floor, distracted by some toy she’d found. Data requested that the lights be lowered and then he took his place on the bed. Kristen had discarded her towel and he would be lying to himself if he had said he wasn’t glad to see her naked there; smiling as she waited for him. She waited for him to lie back against the pillows and then she moved to his side, snuggling under his arm so she could rest against his chest.

‘Are you having a wonderful day?’ she asked, turning his face to hers.

He smiled at her. ‘Of course.’

She returned his smile. ‘The bathroom is a mess…’

‘I should care but I do not,’ he replied.

Kristen kissed him and when she pulled back and considered him, her eyes were thoughtful. ‘Do you remember our second kiss?’ she asked.

He could never forget it. It was on her twenty-fourth birthday. They had worked on an ecological decontamination manual together and when their work was done, he had presented her with a painting of a sunset as a handcrafted gift. She’d asked him if they could have dinner together, effectively arranging their first ever date, and before she left his quarters to head back to her own he had tilted her head back with his hand and given her a kiss. Their first kiss had been a stolen one, when she was still with that evil creature named junior Lieutenant Ryan Soshi, but their second kiss… oh, how perfect it had been.

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I remember every single second of that instance. Touching your face, putting my lips to yours… the way your eyes remained closed even when our mouths had parted…’

She grinned then and it touched her eyes. ‘Wasn’t it great? I was walking on air when we said goodnight and I left to go to my quarters. I can still remember that dreamy mood you put me in. I thought I was so brave for asking you to dinner but you were the brave one, really. It must have taken you a lot of courage to kiss me like that, especially after all we’d been through.’ Her smile faded a little then. ‘Oh, Data… what a life I’ve given you. I would die at the thought of you being with anyone else but me but at the same time I can’t help but wonder how it might have been if you’d fallen for someone different. Someone with a simple past… a person who could have given you all the happiness you deserve instead of constant, painful drama.’

Data’s eyebrows knitted slightly as he thought over her words. ‘You have said such things before and it makes no more sense to me now than it did then,’ he replied, ‘and I must remind you that I do not want anyone else but you, Kristen. I would always choose a complicated life with you over a more stable life with someone different. Also, you are forgetting that most of the obstacles that have been placed before us have been outside of your control,’ 

‘You’re being far too generous,’ she said, with a sigh.

‘I am being truthful. Hardly any of our hardships are your fault. Yes, you did initially choose to be with Soshi instead of myself but even that eventuality was tainted by circumstances you could not help. Your Father had poisoned your mind and made you fearful of beings like me. But you overcame your doubts and then you allowed your trust in me to develop into love. Every other difficulty we have had has not been your responsibility… and even if you were to blame for the strife we have been posed with, I would forgive you. I love you unconditionally. There will never be anyone else but you, Kristen. You are my beloved.’

She moved then, sitting up. Data wasn’t sure why she’d pulled back from him and nor did he understand the grave look on her face. ‘I need to put something to you,’ she said.

‘Of course. What is it?’ he returned.

‘If something… happened to me… and I died, what would you do then?’

Data tilted his head. This was not a pleasant turn in their conversation at all and it instantly poked at the confusion and worry he had been trying to suppress before they had been intimate. He did not want to answer such a horrible question but her eyes were insistent and so he decided to try. ‘My heart would break. I would be alone. Without you in my life, I would have no sense of purpose. I-’

‘No, love,’ she said, shaking her head, ‘I want to know if you would attempt a relationship with someone else if I was gone. Would you try to love again?’

‘I would not,’ he replied, not needing to think about that response at all. The answer had come to him instantly and was utterly truthful. ‘My heart belongs to you, Kristen. It is yours. If something happened to you, I would deactivate my emotion chip with immediate effect and I would return to the previous version of myself that did not have human feelings,’

‘But lots of people move on when their partner passes away,’ Kristen countered, frowning and sounding quite unlike herself, ‘it can take time for them to heal their wounds but when the pain has lessened and they’re at peace with their loss, they learn to love again. The same could happen for you. You could find someone else. Please consider that. I would always want you to be happy, Data. I would never, ever want you to deactivate the chip because of me. I would want you to fall in love again and live life to the fullest. You deserve the best of everything.’

His heart was pounding. ‘Why are we discussing your death?’ he asked.

She shrugged. ‘It’s hypothetical,’

‘It does not feel hypothetical.’

Kristen looked away from him then. He lifted a cautious hand and rested it on her upper arm, holding her there. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said, in a hollow tone, ‘I’m being maudlin when I shouldn’t be. I promised myself I wouldn’t get like this today. Today is supposed to be special…’

‘Is there a reason for that?’ he asked.

‘No, of course not,’ she replied, ‘I just want for us to enjoy the time we spend together. Now that you and your brother are sharing me, I want for each date we share to be nothing less than an absolute indulgence in one another.’ She forced a smile then and though to most people it would look genuine, Data knew it was not. She turned her gaze back to him and the smile increased. ‘So let’s stop talking about sad things that will never happen and enjoy each other instead, alright?’

‘What would you like to do?’ he asked.

Kristen lay back down by his side and then she rested her head on his shoulder and covered his chest with her arm. She sighed again. ‘For now, I’d just like to lie here and rest with you. I might even doze for a little while. Who knows? Let’s just be together. I need you.’

Data held her in return, worry written all over his face. ‘I need you too,’ he said.

*

Later, she fell asleep for a while and it was more than a doze. She’d been talking to him about other elements of their past but then she yawned, her eyelids grew heavy and she drifted off. 

Data stayed with her and decided to take the opportunity to try and order his thoughts. There was no doubt that he was enjoying her company and that for the most part their day had been as special as she wanted it to be, but his doubts about her were getting to him and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. As he looked over her face, noting how tight her expression was even when she was dreaming, Data wondered if he should speak to Counselor Troi, Doctor Crusher or even Captain Picard.

Kristen was not well and the Captain had already mentioned that it might be a good idea for her to be held in sickbay for a while so she could be supervised and treated. Data felt that Kristen would be angry about that but if she could be helped in any way, then he was sure that it was an option that had to be considered. Depression couldn’t be cured by medicine but Troi could counsel her and Doctor Crusher might be able to help her with relaxants and other tonics to help her rest both her mind and body. They wanted to help. Caring for sick people was what they did and more than that, they both cared for Kristen. 

Then Data considered the anguish Kristen would feel when being taken to sickbay, when being told she would have to stay and he started to feel sad. She’d struggle and be angry and he couldn’t bear the thought of that, let alone bringing the idea to fruition. She’d been put through too much against her will already. Forcing her to do anything she did not want to was out of the question. He was sure that some time in sickbay would be beneficial but the process of getting there would hurt her. It wasn’t going to happen, if he had any say in the matter. If the Captain ordered it, he would have to comply but if he did not, Data was not going to bring it up with anyone. 

_I wish that I could figure out what to do… when she spoke of death and dying she frightened me. I am confused and I am scared for Kristen. I am scared for us both._

He stroked his fingertips through her hair, wishing he could read her mind. If only he could work out why she was being so odd about their time together that day he would have a chance of soothing her. Data also wondered if he should check in with Lore when it was convenient, so he could ask his brother if he too had noticed the strange and urgent behaviour she was exhibiting. He continued to stroke Kristen’s hair as his thoughts shifted and the worry swam inside him like dark waters. What he wouldn’t give to bring her peace. He recalled the way she used to smile at him before she’d been taken, the brightness in her eyes that then had been deep brown instead of blood red.

She shifted a little, sighed, and then she nuzzled her face against his neck. Data stopped playing with her hair so that he could rest both arms around her. He stared up at the ceiling overhead and then he gazed over to the window. Stars were burning out there. Space was a void. The answers he needed did not reside out there, he knew, instead they were in this room. He realised that only Kristen could explain herself and that he needed to ask her what was going on. Holding back his inquisitive nature was not as easy as he’d anticipated and especially when the wellbeing of his beloved was potentially at stake.

For the next hour, he held her as she slept, trying to decide on how best to make her talk. She could be hostile when pressured and Data knew he’d need to be gentle with her.

When she awoke, she opened heavy eyelids and gazed up at him. ‘Ooh,’ she said, her voice a little husky, ‘I kept dreaming that I was on fire. How long have I been out?’

Data put his hand to her face. Her dream sounded horrific; a self-punishing reflection of the torment that whirled inside her. ‘If you needed to rest then it does not matter how long you were sleeping,’ he replied.

She smiled at him. ‘Did you activate your dream program, love?’

‘No. I wished to watch over you.’

Kristen turned onto her back, yawned and then slowly sat up. He stayed where he was, feeling slightly panicked at the thought of having to ask her about her behaviour. She rested her arms behind herself to prop herself up and looked down at her body for a few moments. He could see her gaze lingering on the joins that fused her cybernetic limbs to her human torso. ‘I used to have curves,’ she said, quietly so, ‘do you remember? I used to have shape. I had a decent rack and hips and now… ugh, I’m just a wraith.’

Data frowned and then he also sat up, moving to rest an arm around her shoulders. ‘You can gain the weight back if that is what you want. Doctor Crusher can help you.’

She shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter now anyway.’ She looked to him, kissed him, and then she got off the bed and wandered out of the room, naked and pale.

Curious and worried, Data swung his legs off the bed. He went to where he kept his clothes and once he’d put on some off-duty trousers and a collarless shirt, he went to see where Kristen had gone. She was sitting on the sofa in the lounge and had asked for the lights to be dimmed. Her knees were up and she was holding a cushion in her arms as though she needed something to embrace. Her expression was tense until she realised he was there and as soon as their eyes locked, she put one of her fake smiles on for him again. It did not touch her eyes. Data sat down by her side, careful to give her some space.

‘Let’s do something else together,’ she said, ‘what would you like to do?’

‘Just being with you is sufficient,’ he replied, as he tried to muster the courage necessary for the confrontation he had in mind. 

‘Oh, come on,’ she said, her smile increasing. She put the cushion down and moved to kneel on the sofa instead. Closer to him now, she put her arms around him and looked into his eyes. ‘There are many things we could do. You could play your violin for me. We could read together. We could have more sex, maybe in the shower this time or in the bed. Why don’t you sing to me?’

Data opened his mouth to reply but the words were stuck in his throat.

Kristen chewed her bottom lip as she tried to think of more activities they could partake in. ‘We could just talk, if you want to. I love to hear stories about the things you did before we met. You served on the _Enterprise D_ for almost a decade and I’m sure there must be some adventures you had back then that I still don’t know about. Shall we go back to bed and talk?’

He rested his hands on her waist and steadied himself. ‘I would like to talk to you, but we will remain where we are,’ he said.

‘Sure.’ Another brittle smile, another mask over her pain.

‘Kristen… I wish for you to tell me the truth about why spending today with me is so vital to you. You should know that you can tell me absolutely anything, no matter how sad or troublesome it is, and I will be here for you,’ he told her.

Kristen continued to smile. ‘Let’s make love,’ she said.

‘No. Not right now. You are hiding something important from me and I want to know what it is,’ he replied.

‘Do you want a blow job?’ she asked.

Data winced. ‘No, Kristen.’

She sighed and he felt her body become tense. Despite that, she moved one arm from around his neck and started to stroke her hand down his chest. She reached his stomach and then, just when she was about to touch his groin, he caught that hand and lifted it away. ‘It’s because I’ve lost my shape, isn’t it?’ she lamented, ‘you no longer desire me… you used to… you used to be very attracted to me but now you’re not…’

‘That is foolish and inaccurate. Nothing could ever extinguish my physical attraction to you. I love each and every part of you and I always will. I am simply trying to have a conversation with you.’

Dropping her head, she slumped back. ‘Today is meant to be a special day…’ she whispered.

Data put his hand to her face, lifting it again. ‘ _Why?_ Why today so specifically?’

Kristen wouldn’t look him in the eye. ‘I’m going to put some clothes on,’ she said, ‘I feel vulnerable.’ And then she was up and off the sofa, walking away from him again.

But two beats of distance between them and it suddenly hit Data like a bolt of electricity – the reason why she was being morbid, trying too hard to make him happy and insisting on this day of intimacy and alone time was because she was going to harm herself in some way. The realisation sank into him and he felt himself grow completely cold. Kristen had wanted to know if he would love again if she died because that was her intention – her depression, all of the horrendous torture she had been through both physically and emotionally and even spiritually had pushed her beyond her limits. Being caught between himself and Lore had broken her. She no longer wanted to live. She was suicidal. 

His beloved wanted to kill herself.

For a moment, he was angry. Then he felt heavy with dread and sadness. Standing up, Data crossed the room and then came to stand in the doorway to the bathroom. Kristen was wearing the elaborate lace knickers again and was pulling on her top, even though it was still wet from their earlier adventures in this room. She looked over her shoulder at him but there was no brittle smile for him now. ‘I didn’t want for today to be serious, I wanted for it to be beautiful,’ she said to him, accusingly.

‘Yes, and I know why that is,’ he replied, pulse racing.

‘Believe me, you _don’t_ ,’ she said, voice wavering. She sounded close to tears. 

He wandered over to her and took her hands before she could continue getting dressed. ‘You are unwell,’ he said to her, with gentleness, ‘and though you have done a remarkable job of distracting me for most of today so far, I wish for the pretence to stop immediately. Please communicate with me so that I can help you.’

Kristen turned her face, staring off into the distance. ‘I want to make love,’ she whispered, ‘take me to bed and make love to me. Please?’

‘No.’ Data watched her eyes, how they began to well up. ‘I cannot help but speculate at this point that you are concealing factors from me that are largely detrimental in context. Today had to be special for you and it is because tomorrow you are planning to-’

She yanked her hands back from his. One tear ran down her cheek as she glared up at him. ‘Stop this!’ she snapped, ‘you’re spoiling everything!’

‘Be calm,’ he advised, wishing his heart wasn’t hurting so much, ‘please, Kristen. Be calm.’

She was shaking as she tried to move past him but Data caught her arm and turned her so that she was in front of him again. ‘I _am_ calm,’ she seethed, ‘now, enough of this stupidity, Data. I want us to go into the room together and carry on from where we left off!’

‘That will not happen until you stop lying to me,’ he said.

‘I’m not lying to you!’ Her teeth were chattering.

‘You are lying to me by omission and you know it,’ he returned.

Kristen tried to take a deep breath but it was clear that she was far too stressed to do so. She shivered, her gaze hitting the floor and staying fixed there. ‘There are some factors I can’t discuss with you. I won’t hurt you. Not again. Data… you won’t like hearing this, but… there’s an aura of innocence around you that will forever make me want to protect you from things you have no hope of understanding. You’re too sweet for the darkest shades of my reality. I can’t…’

The anger returned then. Data was aware that he’d been naïve in the past but he was not the man he was then. He’d grown, he’d changed, he had lived through so very much since becoming capable of human emotion and he was anything but innocent. He did not want to be coddled or treated like a child. He moved forwards and this time when he took her face in his hands, he knew he was being firmer than usual. He stared into her watery eyes, forcing her to look back at him. ‘I am _not_ innocent,’ he snapped, ‘and nor am I stupid, Kristen! You intend to kill yourself tomorrow and I know that to be true. I know you better than anyone else ever has and you cannot fool me! Stop being deceitful right now and be honest!’

Still shivering, more tears leaked from her eyes. They ran over his thumbs, wetting them. ‘I can’t… Data, I can’t… I love you too much to-’

‘Kristen,’ he said. He wanted to shake her, not that he would. He was terrified and furious. ‘Tell me the truth!’

She sobbed then. ‘Why do you always have to work everything out? For once, can’t you just be slow on the uptake? Why can’t you make this easy for me?’

Data watched her, his heart pounding. ‘Say the words. Tell the truth,’ he ordered.

Her eyes closed. ‘This is going to be our last night together. I had my last day and night with Lore yesterday, but today was all for you… because I can’t live anymore… I can’t live, Data. I can’t do this. I’m broken!’

Her confession was enough for him to release her face and then he was wrapping his arms around her. She sobbed into his chest and he too felt tears in his eyes. They stood there, holding onto one another, and the room seemed to grow darker somehow even though the ambient lighting hadn’t changed. Data held her against him, not knowing what to say anymore. He had driven the truth out of her but the sharpness of it was agonising. He knew he should be calling for medical assistance but somehow he also knew it wasn’t right. It wouldn’t help. Minutes bled by as she vented her desolation, as she cried and cried, and then when she started to weaken he let go of her so that he could bend a little and swoop her up in his arms. Then he carried her through to their bedroom and lay her down on the bed.

She looked so small there, so fragile. Data sat with her and then he lay down so he could hold her properly. Kristen nestled against him, shaking violently. ‘I want you to talk to me,’ he said, ‘and you will do so without argument this time. Tell me what has driven you to this point. Do not leave anything out, not even the smallest of details. Talk to me.’

Kristen looked up at him. ‘You won’t want to hear much of it,’

‘I want to hear all of it. Speak, Kristen. Now.’

She reached to wipe some tears away and then she did just as he asked.

* 

_Why did I think I could fool him? It was easy to fool Lore, not because he is gullible but because he has not known me for as long as Data has. Lore might have been mystified as to my need to be with him for no obvious reason but he was happy just to be with me. He’s sarcastic and belligerent and a pain in my arse, but his sweetness is real and I love him. I do. Someone has to, right? I see the rejected child in him and I can never forget nor move on from what we’ve been through. Come what may, I will always love Doctor Soong’s least favourite son. Lore is my dark angel and I am his._

_But Data is the one who has known me right from the moment I first joined the crew of this ship. He was my first patient, my first real friend, the best friend I ever had and even though he was not my first lover he was definitely my first genuine love. Before I fell in love with Lore too, Data was the first person to truly steal my heart. Our lives have changed but nothing can change how we feel about each other. Nothing can shift the fact that he knows me better than I know myself._

_How could I have thought that I could get through today without him seeing through my mask?_

_How could I have believed that he wouldn’t solve the mystery of my odd behaviour?_

_I know that I was being strange and that my contentment was forced and though I was trying so hard to put up a front, beneath it all I was breaking down already. I am ready to die now… but the more that I talk to Data as he holds me in his arms, the more I feel the weight lifting. The depression won’t go, the sadness will not alleviate, but talking about my pain is lessening the burden. I can breathe properly. It feels so good being able to breathe…_

_As I tell Data about that erotic and wretched dream I had – the one where nightmares and ghosts chased me throughout the ship until I found he and Lore in these rooms and made love to them both at the same time – there is a flicker of possessive pain in his amber eyes._

_Guilt strikes me hard but before I can mumble my excuses he steadies himself and insists that there is nothing I can tell him that will make him love me or support me any less. My dreams, my nightmares, are not my fault. Or at least that is what Data tells me. I am not so sure. I spare him the details of the sexual part of the dream but I do tell him of the awful climax – how the sex turned into murder, how I was stabbed from within by the jutting knives of their cocks. That is not the word I use for being crude is not my way but when I’m done, he understands what my subconscious put me through and he tells me he also understands why those visions broke me down._

_I confess that I tried to drown myself in the bath… and that I couldn’t do it._

_Data looks into my eyes and I can tell he’s holding back tears. That I have already tried – and failed – to end myself is more painful than he can bear._

_And as I see that agony cross his golden face, I realise that my destiny is not mine and mine alone. When I chose to be with Data, when I consented to be his partner and eventually his wife… long before his brother forced torture and bright blue flames of love into my heart… I also agreed to share my life with him forever. My life is Data’s as much as mine and so I cannot decide to kill myself without his spoken permit. Weak and troubled, I ask him if he’ll let me pass over… if he’ll allow or even enable my euthanasia… and he shakes his head and holds me close as the yellow tears meander down his cheeks._

_That is the turnaround. That is when I decide that I cannot die. Because if Data, who arguably holds more of my love than anyone else ever has and for by far the longest, will not let me leave this life and cross over into the next then the decision is made for me and I have no choice but to struggle on, keep fighting, keep trying, keep trying to turn the enigma that is my existence become something that brings me peace instead of pain._

_I have to keep fighting._

_I have to keep living._

_I will do it for him, for Lore, for them both._

_Data tells me that he knows I cannot desert Lore now. He knows that even after everything we have shared today, after all I have revealed that Lore knows nothing about, I cannot reverse how fate has put all three of us into this situation together. Sharing me is agony but my personal agony is far more important to him than his own. He tells me to love them both and that in return, they will love me with everything they have and if jealousy arises it will not be forced upon me. I will be cherished, I will be protected, I will be safe when caught between these two and they will never let me down. I know it to be true._

_We cry together for a while. I’m filled with relief and I don’t know why. Talking was cathartic but no longer wanting to kill myself feels odd. I was sure it was the right idea. I was almost certain that is was the escape route we all needed._

_I tell Data that I wanted to set he and Lore free from this madness and he shakes his head before telling me that my death would not bring freedom at all. Had I deceived him effectively today and committed suicide in private, the resulting news of my death would have broken them both. Data says that he would have turned off his emotion chip for good, with no view to reactivating it ever again. In the past, I would have chided him for that but how could I given these circumstances? They are choking all three of us with chaos. Data believes that Lore would also be beyond help if I had died alone and of my own hand and that much makes me cry some more._

_Sometime later… when neither of us can cry anymore because our grief is spent and I have fully left behind my self-destructive tendencies, I hold his hand over my heart and I promise him that tomorrow will be a new day instead of a final day. Data believes me and I’m glad because I have no strength left to pour into convincing him. He believes me, he says, because he knows when I am being honest. And I am being honest. Wanting to kill myself was stupid and it was desperate and I no longer want to walk that shadowed, midnight path._

_I don’t know how life will work for us, caught in this polyamorous situation, but we’ll make it happen because it’s the only way. I love them both. I will live for them both._

_And then I move Data’s hand from my heart to my breast instead. Confessions are cathartic but so is lovemaking and now I need to be loved in that gentle way that my sweetheart knows so well. He palms my breast as we start to kiss and then I am taking my top off again and whispering that he too should get undressed. He knows that I’m not trying to distract him with seduction anymore, he knows that this is real. Love, lust, passion, healing. When we are both naked, we shift beneath the covers for extra comfort and then he rests his smooth, strong body between my open thighs and I gasp when his mouth draws from my breasts in turn._

_All of my flesh is aching now, so sensitised that every lick of his tongue against my nipples feels painful in its pleasure-bringing bliss. He bites my nipples too and that is indescribably good. Algolagnia is sweet as it is bitter but the sweetness wins out. Exploration follows. His perfect hands possess my whole body as his mouth travels from one erogenous zone to another. Data nuzzles my inner thighs, kisses them, watches my eyes as I watch his. Twin orbs of amber penetrate my soul, making my breathing unsteady, and then his head dips lower and I am held hostage by excruciating pleasure as his mouth covers my honeyed sex and starts to play there._

_Oh, that knowing gentleness. One pale finger pushes into my core as his tongue adds pressure to the hard nub of my clit. My hands thrust into his hair and I arch my back on the bed. My thighs are trembling and the human parts of my body are flushed with concupiscent heat. The sex we had in the bath was amazing but what we’re doing now is better – my mask has disintegrated and he is liberated by my unfortunate truths and confessions. That darkness is gone now and all that is left is us; alone here in our bed, united by yet another hurdle we’ve jumped in unison. In no time, I am coming and I’m noisy as those paroxysms rock me to the seat of my soul. It didn’t even take that long. I shake and writhe, moaning helplessly. I even shout his name._

_Ascending my body, he fixes his mouth to mine and I taste myself there; oceanic musk and vanilla from our bath. My hands grasp at his back and then I’m spreading my thighs wider to invite him in. Over me but patient instead of dominant, Data guides his cock inside me and then he shifts his hips until I have all of it, every inch. The fullness is incredible as is the sense of completion. He rests his forehead to mine, taking a moment for himself, and I take a deep breath._

_Then he begins to move and my nerves sing a song of desire as he whispers the two syllables of my name. He tells me he loves me, he will always love me, and the joy that brings melts into the pleasure._

_I lift my knee, inviting depth, and then he is moving that leg until it is hooked over his shoulder._

_Mmm… yes…_

_Harder pleasure now, a rocking of his body into mine, one that makes me sigh and moan unabashedly. Data kisses me again and then we just look at one another as we make love. My hands move to his face and my thumb slips into his mouth so he can suck it. Those eyes of his can blaze when he’s aroused and right now they are fiery and fuelled with need. He thrusts into me again and again and again and I can feel myself start to come again way before I wanted to. I could have lain beneath him like this for hours but my body craves release and so I reach orgasm for the second time, my face and chest turning the colour of a candied apple as I shake and cry and curse._

_He fucks me harder then but I’m blind to it – too lost in the red mist of my climax. When Data comes, he makes a strained sound, a groan of almost animalistic release. I forget, when we love each other like this, that he’s an android. His sexuality is not artificial, but then is anything about this precious man truly artificial? His love, his pain, his tears and his laughter are more human than can be explained. His climaxes are as intense as they would be for any mortal man and how I love to see them, be the catalyst and inspiration for them. Somehow, I manage to focus on him then and I get a glimpse of the bliss in his eyes as he once again whispers my name and speaks words of devoted love._

_‘Kristen… I love you… I am yours…’_

_It’s over and I am panting. He is not panting, because he does not need oxygen like I do. My mechanical paramour keeps his cock inside me as I coast on what we’ve done and when he slowly withdraws, I whimper at the feeling. Then he is lying by my side and holding me close as perspiration rolls down my face. I lick the sweat away and then I look up at him and smile._

_‘You brought me back to life… even before I had the chance to die,’ I say._

_Data holds my face and kisses me hard. ‘You will never die and nor will I. I will ensure it,’ he promises._

_We continue to kiss and kiss. I cannot get enough of his kisses. I want to live. Can you believe that? I was sure I wanted to die but how could I want that when it would mean leaving Data and Lore behind?_

_For the rest of the night, we stay in bed together. We talk and we kiss and we make love. There is a strong sense in me that there are still answers I need to find but for now at least I am happy to ignore those thoughts. This isn’t the last night I will spend with my sweetie, my love. This is the first of many more nights we will spend together and all of them will be beautiful and perfect._

* 

It was dawn when Data realised he needed to prepare himself for bridge duty. Kristen was still laid in there bed, glowing with contentment amongst the rumpled covers, and when he told her he needed to get into uniform she pouted and told him it was a waste whenever he was dressed. Her compliment ignited another spark of arousal in him but duty was duty and so he kissed her and then went to take a shower. As soon as he was clean and dressed he returned to her and found that she too had put on her clothes. She was sitting on the end of the bed, her striped hair tousled and her eyes tired as she looked down at her hands.

‘What will you do today?’ he asked, clipping on his communicator.

‘This might sound strange…’ she began and then laughed. ‘What am I saying? Everything is strange right now.’ He smiled at her and offered her a hand so she could stand with him. ‘It might seem odd but I feel like taking a long walk around the ship on my own. My soul is still looking for answers and a walk might help me think. After that? Who knows.’

Data circled his arms around her waist. ‘There is a distinct lack of conflict in your eyes…’

‘I know. I think you worked it right out of me,’ she replied, with an impish smile.

He laughed softly. ‘How do you feel?’

‘Better,’ she said, more serious now, ‘thank you for… well, you know. I’m sorry that things got so bad that I was self-destructive. I promise you that I won’t get like that again,’

‘It may be out of your control. Should you feel that dark again, please come to me,’ he replied.

‘I will.’ She leaned up and kissed him. ‘I’ll take a walk, do what I need to… and when I can, I’ll come back here and we’ll spend more time together,’

‘I shall look forward to it. I love you, Kristen,’

‘I love you too, Data. Always.’

They left his quarters a while later and even though he was due to report on the bridge, Data still allowed a little time for goodbye kisses out in the corridor. She wasn’t the only one who felt renewed. That she truly meant to keep fighting, keep living, was clear and it made him feel alive with hope. She embraced him and kissed him for more than ten minutes before they parted and when the time came, she kissed him once more and then left his arms so she could turn away and start walking down the corridor.

‘Kris?’ Data said, before she was out of earshot.

She halted, looked to him. ‘Yes, sweetie?’

‘Be safe,’ he said.

She smiled. ‘I will. You too.’ And then she continued to walk and soon was gone.

Data hesitated there for a moment and then he went in the other direction. In the turbolift, he straightened his hair and his uniform and then forced himself to put personal issues to one side and focus on duty instead. By the time he was stepping onto the bridge and taking a seat next to Captain Picard, his professional resolve was fully in place and he was prepared for the day ahead.

‘We have much to do today,’ the Captain said, ‘but before we begin, I should tell you that a visitor arrived less than an hour ago and he wants to speak to you immediately.’

Data tilted his head. ‘Who is it, Sir?’ he asked.

‘Let us go to my ready room so you can see for yourself,’ Picard replied.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Some reviews would make my day, if anyone has the time!


	49. Unit 24-E

Idling down the corridor, Kristen knew that she should maybe get some more sleep before taking a walk because of how exhausted she was but the need to get some gentle exercise and headspace as she worked through her thoughts was insistent inside her. Yawning, she made her way through one corridor after another. Her eyes were dewy, her body ached. Her limbs were fine because of their artificiality but the human parts of her were worn and well-loved enough to consistently remind her that she should be sleeping off the tumultuous and erotic night she’d spent with Data. 

_No… I need to walk this off. I’m not going to stop walking until I’ve answered some of the questions that keep hurting my heart… I’ve got to figure this out._

It was still dawn, not that the _Enterprise_ ever saw a sunrise when it was journeying through space, heading from one mission to another. Officers, ex-colleagues and old acquaintances walked past her on occasion as they made their way back to their quarters after their night shift responsibilities. Kristen even acknowledged a couple of them and smiled back when they smiled at her first. She entered turbolifts and exited them. She passed by several destinations that at one time would have called to her in an offering of solace – TenForward, the holodeck suites, Troi’s quarters, sickbay, the Arboretum. 

All too soon, Kristen found herself at the doors of Data’s lab. She paused there and wondered to herself. Every time she’d been there, she’d been accompanied. Her experiences there had been invasive and hard to bear. Memories had been uncovered. The past revealed. 

_I have so many questions…_

Though she knew she would be denied if she had asked to enter this room alone, she chose to do so anyway. Being Data’s partner for so long had afforded her information that she’d filed away, even when she was completely human and unmarred by all that had come to pass. She knew the security code off by heart and so she entered it and then passed through the doors when they opened. The whole room was shadowed and the computers and equipment there were powered down. Kristen left the lights low but requested access to the computer panels. Beeping sounds and flashes of green and blue let her know that she had the same admittance that Data had. She could do whatever she wished and would have no witnesses.

She walked around the room and slowly so, trailing her fingers over the glowing screens. Recalling the times when she and Data had been joined here, connected by an interface cable, she moved to the central platform and then stepped up onto it.

_Answers. I need answers…_

It came to her then – hitting her exhausted mind with a stroke of pure brilliance. She had promised both Lore and Data that she was not to request access to unit 24-E of her memory engrams… but with no supervision and only pure curiosity in her mind, all she could think of what must lie within that forbidden file. She knew that it held details of the surgery Lore had forced upon her but what if there was more in there? What if witnessing the full truth of what she’d been through provided her with the answers she was seeking? It was too enigmatic and alluring to deny. 

She picked up an interface cable – there were a few within reach – and connected it to the port in her left-side positronic graft. There was a bleeping sound from within her head and then another one when she attached the other side of the cable to the computer panel. The screen nearby was illuminated then and Kristen turned to it so she could see the details displayed there. She saw all of the unit files. There were so many, almost too many to count, even if they were organised in numerical order. Many files had sub-files. Endless information – her life, compartmentalised. 

Relaxed, calm and inquisitive Kristen danced her fingertips over the buttons on the panel so she could open one file after another. 

Unit 24-E was there for the taking.

A smile crossed her face. She knew she’d been operated on. It was in the past. What could be so terrible about those memories that both Lore and Data would make her swear to not want to relive them? Perhaps there were nuances there that would help her move on. If she was to view those violent images, regress into the abyss that had changed her, perhaps she would feel more complete?

Kristen opened the file.

*

Lore sat in his rooms, looking down at the bouquet of lush red roses he held in his hands. Their petals were velvety, their scent sweet and heady. They were beautiful, just like the woman they were intended for. When he touched one petal or another, he was reminded of the softness of Kristen’s lips. She had told him that she wanted flowers and so, before he was expected to turn up at Troi’s office for yet another therapy session, he had decided to walk to Kristen’s rooms and leave them there outside her door. He had no intention of alerting her to his presence, no. It was meant to be a surprise, a way to let her know that he had taken on board what she had said to him about romance.

There was even a card attached, a simple note so that she would know who had left them for her :

_Kris. I still won’t take you dancing, but flowers I can do. Don’t get carried away, though. I’m not your Romeo. I’m more of a Macbeth, I suppose. Well, whatever. I love you and I hope these brighten your day. I hope I’ll see you soon. Lore._

When the time was right, he stood up and sighed. He could hardly believe that he was about to do something like this, even if she was more than worth it, and he hoped that no-one would see him as he left his sentimental gesture. Outside of his quarters, he moved quickly. He was embarrassed just by holding the flowers. Should one of the senior bridge crew of the _Enterprise_ see this, he was sure it would put him in a churlish mood so intense that even Troi would not be able to remedy it. He was scowling as he made his way to Kristen’s door and as soon as he was there, he lay the roses down and then shook his head, incredulous at his own softness. 

He relived his last words to her. _‘I’ll wait for you to contact me,’_ he had said, _‘I hope you have a pleasant time with Data.’_

For all he knew, they were still together right now. It would certainly make sense, given that he and Kristen had already had their time together as of late and it had been wonderfully deep and loving. Annoyed but also strangely at peace with the arrangement, he took one last look at the roses and then he started to make his way to Troi’s office. That poor woman would have to deal with his irritation today, not that she knew it. He wasn’t going to use his therapy session to rant about Data. Instead, he was going to use it to rant about the fact that even after falling in love with a woman he would do anything for, he was still struggling to relax into a state where he could be at peace with his softer side. But Troi would understand and she’d help. That was her way and Lore was thankful for that.

In no time he was at her door and signalling his arrival.

Troi smiled as she greeted him. ‘You’re early,’ she said.

‘I need to talk,’ he replied.

‘Good.’ She moved to the side so he could enter. ‘Because that’s what I’m here for.’

*

In the Captain’s ready room, Data found himself faced with Robert Harper. 

It had been a while since the two of them had spoken and so he expected to be admonished for that fact. He’d promised his would-be brother-in-law that he’d be more forthcoming with details as to Kristen’s wellbeing but in the midst of so much heartache and drama, he had simply put her first. He’d been sidetracked entirely by her wellbeing and all she was going through. He hadn’t been in touch with a few people he maintained correspondence with – from his Mother to the O’Brien couple who lived on Deep Space Nine to Bruce Maddox – and it was only now that he realised that he’d lapsed in his part of the deal. 

Robert didn’t appear to be angry though, instead his dark eyes were filled with concern instead of malice. ‘Don’t worry, Data,’ he said, in his crisp British accent, ‘I’m not here to tell you off. It’s just been a while since we spoke about my little sister and I thought it best that I come here to see for myself how she’s doing.’

Captain Picard was pouring unsweetened Earl Grey tea into cups. ‘Mr Harper arrived on a transport about an hour ago. I have updated on him on some aspects of the situation but, naturally, he requested a private meeting with just the three of us before we go to meet with her.’

Data rested his hands on the desk. He did not know how to begin. There was no way he was going to tell either his Captain or Robert that Kristen had been plotting her suicide and that he had managed to talk her out of such plans. ‘Did you inform Robert that you relieved me from duty yesterday so that I could tend to her?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ Picard said, handing a teacup to Robert, ‘I did.’

Data nodded. ‘Ah.’

Robert put the cup down and sighed. ‘How was she? I’m going out of my mind here. Is she alright? I’ve asked that question about a billion times since I beamed onto this ship but no-one can seems to be able to answer me. I know you can. So speak up, will you? How is she doing?’

‘She is… unwell… but not entirely unresponsive to care. She was deeply depressed last night but we talked a great deal and venting seemed to be cathartic for her. Kristen was calmer and less troubled when I said goodbye to her just before coming here,’ Data replied. He knew he was bending the truth, lying by omission just as Kristen had been doing, but he cared too much for Robert to injure him with facts about his sister’s pain. ‘I believe that we have much left to figure out but that she will fare better over time. Your presence here will strengthen her too. I am sure she will be very pleased to learn that you are on the ship.’

Picard listened carefully, his eyes slightly narrowed.

‘I daren’t assume anything about her recovery,’ Robert said, ‘or that me being here will be helpful. All I know is that I’m worried sick.’

Data nodded. ‘I remain concerned also,’ he agreed, ‘but much is left to be seen,’

‘Where is she right now?’

‘She wished to take a walk. Afterwards, I believe she will require rest,’

‘We should perhaps let her rest and then visit her quarters later on,’ Picard said, ‘Data, would you like to show Robert to some personal quarters in the meantime?’

‘Yes Sir,’ Data acknowledged.

N’Dya walked into the room then, totally unannounced. He didn’t even signal the want to come in; he just walked through the doors with a pensive look on his face. All three men looked up from their meeting, startled. ‘Captain,’ he said, ‘I’m sorry to intrude like this but I’ve just been alerted to a security breach.’

Picard frowned. ‘Where?’

‘In Data’s cybernetics lab,’ N’Dya replied, ‘we put an immediate trace on it and it seems as though Lieutenant… I mean, it seems as though Kristen is in there and she’s been accessing the computers. I don’t know what she’s up to but I thought you should know, Sir.’

Data turned in his seat. ‘How long has she been there?’ he asked.

‘At least seven minutes,’ N’Dya replied.

Picard’s grey eyes darkened. He tapped his comm badge. ‘Picard to Kristen Harper.’

There was no response.

Data stood up and Robert did too. Data tapped his badge. ‘Data to Kristen. Please respond.’

Silence.

‘Data to Kristen! Respond immediately!’

Nothing.

Robert’s face was etched with worry. ‘Sorry, but I don’t understand the relevancy of this. I know she’s been… altered… but why is it an issue that she’s at your lab, Data?’

‘I do not know,’ Data replied, ‘but if she is not responding to our signals then we should investigate,’

‘Agreed,’ Picard said.

N’Dya led the way as their group left the room, crossed the bridge and entered the turbolift.

*

Kristen gasped as her mind was fractured by a sudden influx of horrific imagery. Nostalgia seeped into her bones too, but it was far from sweet. A black shroud of memories cloaked her and she squeezed her eyes shut, gritting her teeth.

_The abyss…_

_She saw her own eyeballs in a small silver bowl, caught in stare that could never end._

_Her severed arms and legs, dripping with blood. Glistening pink muscle. Torn flesh._

_She saw Lore continuing to talk to her as he used invasive procedures to neutralise her pain receptors. There was no anaesthetic for her because she had insisted that Ria should have it instead. The agony remained, however. White hot and ice cold. Brutal._

_She could smell her flesh cooking as he cauterized her wounds._

_Kristen saw herself laughing deliriously. Kristen saw herself screaming…_

And then she let out a silent scream in this current reality, her hands grasping onto the panel in front of her. This wasn’t just shock, just horror at what was now uncovered.

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

*

Data stepped through the lab doors first. He scanned the room and as soon as he realised that Kristen was on the central platform and was connected to the ship’s computer system, he was relieved. As she was a cyborg, this was not entirely concerning. She had likely come here to make some subtle adjustments to her internal systems or even to download information. For a being who was even only partially artificial, it was only as suspicious as a human seeking a headache antidote or an ointment for a rash. 

She had mentioned seeking answers to him, after all. As an ex-Starfleet officer she was perhaps curious about the current mission the _Enterprise_ was embarking upon or if not that, she was maybe wanting to keep a tab on operations. She should not have come in here without permission but given her mental fragility, he was not about to scold her.

But as he moved closer to her and realised she was utterly motionless, relief was exchanged for a stab of vexation. ‘Kristen?’ he said, as he stepped up onto the platform.

Whirring noises followed, very specific ones he’d heard before but not for a very long time. Her head tilted but when she tried to lift it, she could not. ‘Data…’ she murmured.

‘What has occurred?’ he asked, aware that her older brother, Captain Picard and Lieutenant N’Dya were right behind him. ‘What is your status, Kristen?’

‘I can’t see anything,’ she said, blinking slowly, ‘and… when I try to run a self-diagnostic, the codes make no sense…’

‘What’s going on?!’ Robert asked, sounding panicked, ‘what’s happened to her?!’

Kristen’s head jerked. ‘Robert? Rob? Is that you? I can’t see… I’m blind…’

Data held a hand up. ‘Wait,’ he said, before Robert could step up to the platform. 

She shuddered from head to toe and there were more whirring sounds. The last time Data had heard this noise pattern, his daughter Lal had been succumbing to cascade failure. There was an interface cable connecting Kristen to the computer and when he looked at the screen and saw which files she’d accessed, a jolt of horror and realisation sluiced throughout his circuits. As quickly as he could manage, he moved his fingers over the screen to close down the file. The computer responded but at the same time, Kristen started to shake. He looked to her in horror, hardly able to believe what he was seeing. Her teeth were clenched and her red eyes were wide with pain. 

He’d seen this before. It was happening again, only this time it was not his daughter who was shutting down, it was his beloved.

‘Data,’ Captain Picard said, ‘report.’

He looked up. ‘Kristen has accessed unit 24-E,’ he said.

Picard stared at him. ‘The file that contained the details of her surgery?’

‘Yes,’

‘The one that overwhelmed you when you accessed it, the one that-’

‘ _Yes,_ ’ Data snapped. He moved closer to Kristen, within the platform that held her, and put his arms around her. 

‘I only came here because I wanted answers,’ she said, ‘I didn’t expect for this to happen…’

Thinking quickly, he tapped his comm badge. ‘Data to Lore. Data to Lore! I need you immediately!’

‘Why the hell would you want to bring _him_ here?!’ Robert yelled, his dark eyes filled with panic and rage.

Data faced him. ‘I need you to exit the vicinity immediately. Lore was the one who made her into what she is. He is the only one who stands a chance at saving her before it is too late. I have a certain degree of expertise in cybernetics but when I tried to save Lal from cascade failure, my skills were not adequate enough to rescue her. If Lore and I work together, we might be able to keep Kristen alive.’ 

Robert had gone white in the face. ‘This cannot be happening. You can’t let this happen!’

Data looked to Lieutenant N’Dya. ‘Please,’ he said, ‘escort Robert and Captain Picard to another area. Give us the space we need! Right now!’

N’Dya looked to the Captain. ‘Sir?’

Picard nodded and as he stepped away from the platform, he took Robert Harper with him. ‘Report to me as soon as you can, Data,’ he urged, ‘we will await your updates on this situation. Good luck.’

_Luck? I will need more than luck to remedy this. I will need a miracle._

Data watched as the three men left the lab. Then he tapped his comm badge once more, trying again to make contact with Lore. When there was no reply, he thought fast and contacted Counselor Troi instead. ‘Counselor,’ he said, ‘are you with my brother?’

‘Yes, but we’re in session right now,’ she replied, within seconds, ‘what’s the matter? Is it important?’

‘Kristen has entered my lab and gained access to unit 24-E. I need Lore to join me here immediately! The content of that file has brought about neural shock and cascade failure and I cannot save her on my own! She is dying!’

A pause and then; ‘He’s on his way, Data. Hold your position.’

The link cut out. Data looked to Kristen. She wasn’t the only one who was shaking at that point. He too was trembling as he held her. She lifted her head but because of her blindness she couldn’t focus on him. ‘The codes are scrambled,’ she whispered, ‘my self-diagnostics are telling me that my vital systems are shutting down. I have less than fifteen minutes before total failure. Data… I’m scared… I don’t want to die but unless you do something… I’m going to… I’m going to… shut down.’

He closed his eyes. In less than twenty-four hours his beloved had gone from being suicidal to wanting to live again to being forced into a state of terminal shutdown. It was too much to take. Pulling her against his chest, he kissed her hair and then her temple.

_Not again… not like Lal… I cannot go through this again…_

‘Lore is coming,’ he told her, ‘and he will help me. Hold on, my beloved. We will make this right. Together, we will save you. You will not die,’

‘Good,’ she said, ‘because… I don’t want to die anymore… I want to live…’

*

Racing down the corridor, Lore battled the myriad of emotions that rioted through him. He could not _believe_ that Kristen had accessed unit 24-E after she had sworn to him that she would not. He was so angry that everything around him seemed to be touched by darkness. Data had told Troi that Kristen was dying. He’d heard those words for himself and he knew that his brother was not one for exaggerating pertinent factors. If he said she was dying then she was dying. Lore could fathom what had happened all too easily – she had gained access to Data’s lab, opened the file and the contents had triggered shock that had then triggered cascade failure. 

He darted into a turbolift and when he saw two Ensigns in there, he grabbed them and pushed them out. They stumbled into the corridor but before they could protest, he shut the doors and then barked his destination at the computer. As the lift moved, he paced around.

_Stupid, idiotic girl! Why has she done this to herself?! I’ve been so worried about her but I never for a moment thought Kristen would do something as spectacularly dumb as this! Worse still, cascade failure is not easily reversed and most especially so when it has been in motion for more than a few minutes. If her codes have started to scramble there will be no way to reverse the shutdown process. I could slap her right now, I’m so mad! If she dies… if she dies because of this I will never forgive her._

_Don’t leave me, Kris. Not now. Don’t you DARE leave me!_

On the right deck, Lore sprinted to the door and then he headed inside the lab immediately. The love of his life was held within the central platform and Data was working on her already. He had a lightweight handheld tool inserted into one of her positronic grafts and as he slowly turned it, making Kristen cringe with pain, his free hand moved in a blur as he attempted to input information into the computer panel. She was attached to this panel by an interface cable. Even from where he stood, he could tell she was in a grave situation.

‘What the fuck is going on?’ Lore snapped, moving to them, ‘why has she done this?’

‘I believe that her curiosity and desire for answers led her here,’ Data replied, not looking at him as he continued to work, ‘but this is not the time for speculation. Kristen’s codes are splintering rapidly and she does not have much time left. Please assist me.’

Lore did not need to be asked twice. He stepped up onto the platform and took the tool from Data’s hand so he could take over trying to repolarise her neural pathways. Kristen trembled at his nearness but when she tried to look at him, he could tell that she had gone blind already. Her higher functions were degrading and her base matrix would need to be reinitialised. It was an enormous task, far too huge and complex to be done with immediacy. Her eyes were unfocused, unseeing. 

‘You’re here,’ she whispered, ‘Lore, you came…’

Those helpless words made him ache. ‘Of course I did. Someone needs to reverse the damage you have done to yourself, if that’s possible. What the hell were you thinking, Kris?’ His right hand worked the tool, his left held her head in place. ‘I could kill you for this! I could kill you!’

‘You may not have to,’ she replied, closing her eyes, ‘I can’t run an internal diagnostic but I can tell from the constant negative feedback in what is left of the coding… that this is the end for me… my arms and legs are numb and my vital systems are shutting… down… I’m going to die…’

‘Don’t talk like that,’ Lore snapped, terrified. He looked away from her face so he could concentrate more fully on her grafts. Some of the lights had gone out. The blue ones were still flashing but the white ones had blown. There were even some tiny scorch marks around the miniscule bulbs. ‘Just hold on, I’m going to save you. Data and I will save you,’

‘You are my sunshine… my only sunshine…’ she sang, her tone wavering, ‘you make me happy when skies are grey…’

He was so scared that his hands shook a little as he worked. When he glanced to Data, he saw that his brother’s face was a perfect study of panic and grief. They both knew the truth here; their efforts were pointless because she was far too gone already. It wouldn’t stop them trying though. It wouldn’t stop them working together to save her, even if she was dying already and it was likely she had only minutes left. 

‘You’ll never know, dear… how much I love you… please don’t take… my sunshine… away…’ she sang.

*

It was like being trapped in an oubliette, only Kristen could hear the panicked voices of both Data and Lore as they teamed together to try and save her. One function after another shut down and as files were destroyed, her processers ceased to work too. Her limbs had been numb for a while but soon the organic parts of her body started to react to the shock as well. There was a sharp pain in her chest and she knew that she’d either had a heart attack or that she was about to. Her head was hurting so badly, like the worst imaginable migraine. The only abilities she had left was being able to speak and being able to listen. She couldn’t move at all. 

She started to see flashbacks of her whole life as her memory engrams sparked out of existence – her childhood, her parents and brothers, painting, dreaming of the stars, her adolescence, her years at Starfleet Academy and then receiving her first posting to the _Enterprise._ Meeting Data. Seeing his amber eyes for the first time. Hearing that soft voice of his, noting how he never used verbal contractions.

‘Data,’ she said, ‘are you there?’

‘I am right before you,’ he replied, ‘do not worry. I am here.’

She couldn’t sense his proximity at all. ‘I just want to thank you for how kind you were to me when I first came to his ship. You were the best friend I ever had. You still are…’

‘What is occurring? Is your memory subcore destroying engrams now?’ His tone was fraught.

‘Yes… I cannot remember what I just said to you. How odd. What did I just say?’

‘She hasn’t got much time left.’ That was Lore, sounding broken. ‘I could move my hands a thousand times faster than this and it wouldn’t be enough!’

‘I understand,’ Data said. ‘Kristen? I am holding both of your hands. I am with you. Is there anything else you want to say?’

‘Yes…’ she whispered, ‘thank you for how you always took such good care of me. Even before we became a couple, you were so wonderful. Thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me. You were always so patient, so forgiving. I’m glad that we met and that we fell in love. I’m glad that you proposed to me and I said yes. You made me so happy. I adore you. I love you so much.’

She wished she could see him, that she could hold him and kiss him one last time. Even if he kissed her right now she wouldn’t be able to feel it. Even her face was numb.

‘I love you too,’ Data replied, and she could tell that he was crying, ‘I could never love anyone else.’

Kristen felt another sharp pain in her chest, this one worse than the last. ‘Ouch… damn…’

‘Are you in pain, Kris?’ Lore asked. ‘I can shut down your pain receptors,’

‘Please do it, Lore. It hurts so much.’

She heard a soft bleeping sound from within her head and then all of the pain went away. ‘Is that better, my love?’ he asked.

‘Much. Can I say something to you too?’

_It’s so black here… I can see nothing… I’ve got less than a minute now… I’m dying. I’m so scared. This is even more scary than the abyss…_

‘You can say anything you want,’ Lore replied, his voice trembling with emotion.

‘I love you,’ she whispered, ‘and I meant what I said about forgiving you for the things you did. I could never hate you. Underneath all the pain and the anger, you are loving and kind. It’s not your fault that you had such a rough start in life. The ethical subroutine you were given liberated you and since then… especially since then… you’ve grown so much. I want you to make something positive of your life when I’m gone. I want you to do good things and make me proud,’

‘I’ll try,’ Lore said, ‘I’d never disgrace the memory of all we’ve shared. I love you, Kris. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.’

More memories were dropped. She had no past at all now, had never received an education or had a career. Kristen couldn’t remember a single thing save for the fact that she was dying and that she was being eased into that transition by two men she worshipped with all of her heart. ‘I want you both to only remember the good times… and I want… for you to maintain a relationship with each other. I want you to move on from your pasts… I want…’

‘I am holding you,’ Data told her, ‘and Lore is close. We have you, my beloved,’

‘Thank you… thank you for that and for everything… I… love… you… both…’

‘Does it still hurt? Lore asked.

‘Not anymore…’

‘What do you feel?’ Data put to her.

‘Like I’m sinking… and flying at the same time…’ she whispered. ‘I love you both so much… I love you… I love you… _I love you both…_ ’

No pain now, only an odd rush of unexpected euphoria as the life inside her drifted away, her soul detaching itself from her mortal shell and then… blackout. 

Kristen died.

*

Data watched her face. Her eyes dimmed like twin sunsets and their redness turned to a lifeless milk-white. Her heart ceased to beat. In his arms, she became heavier. A soft sighing sound was expelled by her lungs – her final breath – and a small trickle of blood ran from the corner of her mouth. Data lifted her up and then he closed his eyes as more tears spilled down his cheeks. The pain he was in was indescribable. 

Only last night she had decided she wanted to live, to keep fighting, and now because of one idiotically curious impulse she had ended up killing herself by accident. It was too much to bear. Opening his eyes and stepping down from the platform, he carried her until he felt his legs grow weak and then he was sinking down to the floor, to his knees, and hunching over her body as he sobbed. 

Lore came close and also got down on the floor. Data glanced to his brother and saw that he too was in floods of grief. He had never seen Lore this upset, this broken. When he reached to take one of her hands and kissed it a few times, Data did not object. She had wanted unity between them and so that was what was going to occur. They would bond even moreso over this, eventually, but first – the pain. The agony of a reality within which Kristen Harper was no longer present.

_My beloved has just died in my arms…_

‘I don’t know what to do,’ Lore said, shaking visibly, ‘I can’t handle this. I cannot process that she’s gone. It wasn’t meant to be like this…’

Wiping his eyes, Data tried to ignore the pounding in his chest. ‘Once we are able to, we need to alert sickbay,’ he murmured, ‘Doctor Crusher will want to store the body and-’

‘Don’t say that!’ Lore snarled, more tears running down his face, ‘don’t say “the body”! _How can you be so clinical?!_ ’ He glared at him for a long moment and then he dropped his head. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at you. It’s just that I’m devastated… I’ve never felt like this… I’ve never felt this sort of pain… it’s too much… it’s almost surreal…’

Data had felt this sort of pain. He’d lost his daughter in this exact same way, held their Father as he had passed on. Back then, he hadn’t been able to articulate the sense of loss. Now, grief exploded inside him and for a long time, he found himself incapable of speech. He couldn’t even think coherently.

Lore lifted Kristen’s hand again, pressing the backs of her fingers to his cheek. ‘I can’t live without her. I don’t _want_ to live without her,’ he said. 

Wiping more tears away, Data nodded. He felt the same. Without Kristen, he felt as though he had no purpose. Before her, he’d been content to live a life that revolved around duty. After her, he knew he could never be fulfilled by such an existence. A life without her presence and her love was akin to an indeterminable jail sentence. He watched his brother as he cried and held Kristen’s limp hand to his face. Data took her other hand and looked down at it as he stroked the still-warm skin of her palm with his moongold fingertips. 

‘I will alert the Captain,’ he said eventually.

‘Fine,’ Lore replied.

‘I do not know what else to do,’ Data admitted.

Lore’s face was streaked with vivid yellow. ‘I know,’ he said, ‘neither do I.’

*

Captain Picard was sitting with N’Dya and Robert Harper in his ready room when the news came. He had never heard his First Officer sound so utterly destroyed. ‘Kristen has succumbed to cascade failure, Sir,’ he revealed, ‘Lore and I are still with her. We tried everything we could to give her more time but… we did not save her. She is dead.’

Robert’s mouth fell open. He looked to N’Dya and then to Picard and then he leaned forward in his seat and put his head in his hands. He fisted his hands in his hair and pulled at it, distraught.

‘You have my most heartfelt condolences, Mister Data, and you may pass that sentiment onto Lore,’ Picard replied. 

‘Thank you. What do you wish us to do?’ Data asked.

Picard stood from the desk. ‘Stay there. I’m on my way.’

Robert was crying, not that he was making any noise. His shoulders were shaking subtly and the sight made Picard feel horrendous. The room was thick with his grief. He moved over and crouched down in front of him. ‘Would you like to accompany me or would you prefer some privacy?’ he asked, in a gentle tone.

Dropping his hands, he looked up. ‘I’ll come,’ he said, ‘she’s my little sister. I have to see her.’

Picard nodded and helped him up. ‘Ben, please return to the bridge,’ he said. N’Dya nodded, stood and left the room. ‘I know that this is going to be extremely hard for you,’ Picard said to Robert as he looked into his stricken brown eyes, ‘and I can hardly imagine the pain you’ve been in ever since Kristen was taken and altered, but please know that you have friends on this ship and you will be provided with any and all support you may need. I will halt the mission we are currently undertaking so that these matters can be dealt with properly. There will be no distractions. You are not alone.’

Robert sniffed back more tears. ‘Thanks. Let’s go to her. I want to see her.’

They left the room, crossed the bridge and entered the turbolift. During the journey back to Data’s cybernetics lab, Picard was watchful as Robert slipped into a gravely silent mood. 

He took the time to ask himself how he felt about this tragedy and found that he too was deeply affected. He recalled the first few times he had met Kristen Harper – how quiet and shy she had been back then. As her Captain for almost two years, he had witnessed her blossoming from an uncertain young officer to a capable, strong Lieutenant who worked hard to help anyone and everyone who crossed her path. He had developed a genuine affection for her and it had increased since she’d been turned into a cyborg. They had had more than Starfleet and the wellbeing of the people on this ship in common by then. He had been there for her, even held her when she was suffering, and dealing with her death would not be easy. Picard was immensely saddened. That she had died so young was beyond tragic.

Walking down the corridor to the lab, Robert’s expression altered. He had stopped crying and his eyes were harder now. His jaw was squared. Picard noticed this and halted him at the doors to ask if he was absolutely certain he could cope with seeing his sister’s body so soon after her demise. 

Robert nodded, slowly so. ‘Yes,’ was all he said.

But as soon as the lab doors opened and they headed inside, it became clear that Robert’s intentions were not fixed on seeing Kristen at all. They were fixed on Lore, who was standing near the central platform as Data remained on the floor with his deceased inamorata. Without hesitation, Robert strode over to Lore and then he launched himself forwards, aiming a punch right at his face. Lore took the hit but did not recoil. He frowned for a moment and then he took hold of Robert and pushed him away. ‘Who the fuck are you?!’ he demanded.

‘I’m Kristen’s brother!’ Robert roared, ‘and I’m going to make you pay for what you’ve done!’

‘Cease this immediately!’ Picard shouted, stunned by this sudden display of violence.

Robert had clearly hurt his hand when landing the first hit but he seemed to be oblivious to the pain for he ran at Lore again, punching him in the face repeatedly. Lore held him back at first but then, for no apparent reason, he dropped his arms to his sides and became submissive to the attack he was receiving. 

‘It’s all your fucking fault!’ Robert was roaring, ‘you kidnapped and abused my little sister! You fucking murdered her! It’s _your fault_ that she’s dead!’

Data leapt up and raced over there, taking hold of Robert’s arms from behind and pulling him away. ‘Please,’ he implored, ‘do not do this. Kristen would not want it. You know that to be true!’

Robert yanked himself away from Data. He stood there, panting, cradling his right hand as it no doubt throbbed with pain, and then he turned his head and looked to where Kristen laid on the floor. At that, he moved over to her and then he sank down to his knees and drew her up into is arms. Picard watched as he rocked her, crying into her hair. It almost broke his heart. Looking up, he saw that Lore was gazing dispassionately into the distance and that Data looked shellshocked. 

Picard had rarely faced a situation he couldn’t handle but with this, he knew he was out of his depth. He tapped his comm badge and requested that both Counselor Troi and Doctor Crusher come to the lab immediately. 

*

A medical team accompanied the two women when they arrived. Data watched as Troi gently comforted Robert Harper and then persuaded him to release Kristen’s body from his frantic embrace. He was swaying when he stood up and so she asked for assistance and then he was being led out of the room by her, Nurse Ogowa and a junior Lieutenant Data was not familiar with. Doctor Crusher then asked the remaining staff to help her lift Kristen’s body onto a stretcher. Lore was right about this being surreal, Data realised, as he watched his beloved’s face be covered by a white sheet. Nothing about this seemed real at all. 

Captain Picard had a quiet word with the Doctor and then the two of them glanced over to him. He did not know how to react and so he stayed right where he was as he observed the heartbreaking sight of Kristen being carried out of the lab. Lore watched this too, spellbound. Tears were still streaking down he is face, even though he was silent.

Only the Captain remained behind. ‘Data,’ he said.

‘Yes Sir?’

‘You are dismissed from duty with immediate effect and I will note in your records why that is.’

Data nodded. ‘Yes Sir. Thank you.’

Picard moved closer to him. ‘I know that when Kristen returned to the ship and you grieved over all she had been through, I supported you. I tried to be a friend instead of a Captain and I hope you will see me that way right now. Our formal responsibilities will not touch this tragedy and I will ensure it. I wish to be there for you through this ordeal, though I have to confess that I am clueless as to what to say to you. Is there anything I can do?’

‘I do not believe so,’ Data replied, ‘I will accompany Lore back to his rooms and then I will likely return to my quarters for the rest of today. Beyond that, I do not know what I may require, nor how I will begin to process what has occurred. I have been in this situation before but not with emotional capability. I believe that I might be in shock, however, and that it would be best I deal with that alone.’

The Captain put a hand to his shoulder. Grey eyes looked into golden amber. ‘I am deeply sorry for your loss. If there is _anything_ I can do, please do not hesitate to contact me. I am at your disposal, Data, for whatever you need and whenever you might need it.’

Lore moved over to the doors then and they opened. ‘I have to get out of here,’ he said.

Data looked to him. ‘Wait a moment, brother,’ he said, and then looked back to Picard. ‘I will contact you when I feel I can, Sir,’ he said.

Picard moved his hand away. ‘Do that. Take care of yourself, Data.’

With a nod, he moved away from his friend and then over to Lore. The two of them walked out of the lab immediately and made their way down the corridor. Silence ebbed between them; hollow and bereft of words of grief. If anyone passed them during their journey, neither android noticed at all. If anyone spoke to them, it went unheard. Data was not entirely sure how they made it to Lore’s rooms given that every step he took felt like a journey of its own. Minutes felt like years, seconds felt like months. At the doors, Lore headed straight inside without a word of farewell and did not even offer a beat of eye contact. 

Data watched as the doors closed again and then he turned and retraced his steps until he was entering a turbolift. The silence was deafening and was his only escort as he moved within the ship from one deck to another. More corridors, more steps that took an eternity. Then he was heading into his own personal quarters and locking the doors behind him.

The scent of her, though extremely subtle, remained. Vanilla, pheromones, skin musk and the salt of her torrents of tears. Data knew he was on the verge of a breakdown as he stood there in the semi-darkness but he didn’t care enough about himself to want to do anything about it. He looked around his rooms and then closed his eyes for a moment. Heartache throbbed inside him and when his systems suggested a brief self-diagnostic, it did not surprise him at all when the results came back as complex and unusual. His emotion chip was fluctuating constantly and he knew that if he did not deactivate it, the shock and pain he was in could push him to the same state that had killed Kristen – cascade failure. 

Opening his eyes, he wondered if perhaps death would be better than trying to live without her. Death certainly felt like the easiest option. But then he thought of what Kristen would say about such self-destructiveness and as his internal warning systems began to go into overload, he deactivated the chip and then felt a glorious neutrality cloak all of the agony. Even without human emotion, he could not remove her from his predominant thoughts and so when he went to sit down at his workstation and rested his hands on the panel, he settled into a state of deep introspection. 

In fact, he spent the entire night sitting there; motionless, numb and silent. For now, Data knew it was his only choice if he was going to survive this loss.

*

The next morning, Lore got in touch with Troi to tell her he wouldn’t make their daily appointment. She had expected as much. He sounded exhausted, if that was possible for an artificial being, and was indifferent when she tried to convince him that therapy was exactly what he needed. Still, she didn’t have it in her to force him to do be with her when he insisted he wanted to be alone and so she told him to go easy on himself and then decided to check in with Data.

At his door, she hesitated before signalling she was there. As a Counselor, she knew exactly what to say to someone who had just experienced an intense catastrophe that was underscored by personal loss, but in these circumstances she didn’t want to run through the same old script. Trying to counsel Robert Harper was difficult enough – he was distraught at the death of his little sister – but Troi had known and been friends with Data for years and years. She knew there was nothing she could say that could help him. Robert had his wife and daughter back home, had his parents, even had another brother, despite the fact they were estranged. Robert would heal over time and of that Troi was sure. Data had his friends and maintained contact with Juliana Soong but that was it. He couldn’t count on Lore. Compared to Robert, he had nothing that might bring him comfort.

Kristen Harper had meant absolutely everything to him and Troi was extremely worried about how he would cope with this. She wished there was something she could do, that there were some magic words she could speak that would heal him. Kristen might have only served on the _Enterprise_ for a couple of years, but she’d made her mark in that short amount of time. Troi too was devastated by the death of her friend. The bridge crew and the psychology staff were hurting. But Data? He was going to be destroyed by this. Troi knew it. She could feel it. Both Lore and Data were going to have a fight for survival on their hands now the worst possible thing had happened to them. The outlook was not at all good.

Sighing, she tapped the panel by Data’s door. He didn’t respond during the two minutes she waited and so she signalled again. When he came to her, she took a long look at his face and realised what he had done. ‘Did you deactivate your emotion chip?’ she asked, without a greeting, without any sort of polite hello. She sensed no emotion in him whatsoever.

He frowned a little. ‘Do you wish to come in?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ Troi replied, rattled already by how poised he was. She hadn’t seen him like this for years and though she’d always felt warmth towards the pre-chip Data, she much preferred him with feelings. She came into his rooms and her worry increased when she saw what he’d been doing before she arrived. An enormous amount of paintings – all of them of Kristen – were stacked up in an orderly fashion against the bulkhead. All of her clothes and shoes and other items of apparel were folded neatly on one of the sofas in the lounge. The rest of her personal items were piled up on the coffee table. ‘What…’ she began, but then found she didn’t know how to complete that sentence.

‘I am arranging Kristen’s belongings for storage,’ Data replied, moving to pick up one of her dresses and fold it, before adding it to the pile.

Troi touched an anxious hand to her mouth and then dropped it again. ‘I know that whilst your chip is switched off, these motions might be less than difficult for you, but… when you inevitably turn it on again, you might regret wanting to store these things away so soon, Data,’ she said.

He looked to her, curious. ‘Why? Kristen is dead. These items serve no purpose now. They belong in storage,’

‘I know, but…’ Needing to sit down suddenly, she went to rest on a chair near the sofa. ‘This kind of efficiency seems very sudden. Too sudden, actually. Also, though I understand that your emotions must be overwhelming you right now, deactivating the chip is not going to be conducive for long-term healing…’

Data folded another dress, a grey one with a silk ribbon about the waist. ‘I had to deactivate the chip,’ he explained, utterly calm, ‘an internal diagnostic told me that the severity of the emotions I was experiencing could have led to cascade failure. Had I tried to manage them, I could have died. Kristen would not want that. She would want me to do whatever it takes to keep going. Do you understand, Deanna?’

‘Well, yes… I would never expect for you to allow yourself to come to harm just for the sake of emotional capability, but… will you never reactivate it? Ever?’

He paused then, thinking. ‘Without Kristen… I do not wish to feel. She was my whole reason for being. Living without her will be possible only if I continue on without what the chip can provide,’ he replied.

Troi didn’t like this. ‘She wouldn’t want you to live a numb existence and I know that for a fact,’ she said.

‘What would you suggest?’ he put to her, as he added the next dress to the pile.

‘You turn the chip on at regular intervals so that you can effectively handle the emotions. Over time, when the shock has subsided, your internal circuitry will not be pushed to breaking point. You need a gradual release on your feelings in order to cope with them. Tell me I’m wrong about that and I’ll never bring it up again,’ she replied.

Data tilted his head. ‘You are not incorrect,’ he said, ‘in fact, your logic is precise,’

‘So will you consider my suggestion?’

‘No.’

Troi frowned, her dark eyes sombre with worry. ‘Why?’

‘Because, as I have stated already, I do not wish to feel anything if Kristen is not here to feel it with me. Whether she would support that decision or not, it is mine to make. I do not want to feel angry or sad or depressed. I do not want the pain of grief. Without her, there will be no positive emotional states for me to experience and nor will there be any joy or love. The chip is redundant now. I may as well ask Geordi to try and remove it.’

They looked at one another for a long beat of silence. ‘I sincerely hope you change your mind about that,’ Troi said, as she stood up, ‘because whether it’s your decision to make or not, Kristen would be very sad indeed if she knew you are prepared to let her death infect the rest of your whole life.’

Data watched her as she went over to the door. ‘Thank you for your visit, Counselor,’ he said, just as formal and detached as he’d been so many years ago, ‘I appreciate your advice and concern.’

Troi just shook her head and left his quarters. 

*

Very late that night, after a long and absolutely miserable day of pacing his quarters and grieving, Lore decided that he needed to get out of his rooms. There were too many memories there and he felt trapped by visions of what he and Kristen had shared there. He knew he didn’t want to see Troi – she would try too hard to save him from the crushing depression that had engulfed him ever since Kristen had succumbed – and nor did he particularly want to see anyone else. But if he left his rooms he would surely be faced with _someone_ and so he decided to do the most obvious thing and go and visit with his brother. If anyone on the ship shared his sense of agonised loss, it would be Data. Lore figured he’d be at home and so he strode out into the corridor and got on his way there.

He felt unsteady during the journey. At the worst parts of his attempt to process a life without the woman who had once been his dark angel, his diagnostic sensors had warned him that this was almost too much to bear without incurring either a series of serious internal malfunctions or – at worst – cascade failure. But Lore would not disable his feelings. Before Kristen, he’d rarely felt anything that was positive in context and he’d be damned rather than dishonour how she’d changed him by becoming numb and dispassionate. He thought about that as he continued to walk and paused on occasion, wincing when the emotional pain was intense enough to have him need to lean against the wall and figuratively catch his breath.

At Data’s rooms, he walked straight in there. Had he asked to come in, he knew he would have been denied and so he sought his brother without even thinking of politeness or permission. Data was in the bathroom, oddly enough, and appeared to be cleaning up a mess of water that covered the floor, along with some towels that were equally soaked.

‘What are you doing?’ Lore asked.

Data turned to look at him. ‘I do not recall giving you permit to enter my quarters at your will,’ he said.

Lore narrowed his eyes. ‘What are you doing?’ he repeated.

‘Before she passed away, Kristen and I took a bath together and some of the water spilled onto the floor,’ Data replied, in a very matter-of-fact tone, ‘and so I am attempting to re-order and clean the room so that there will be no significant water damage. I have not had the opportunity to do so until now because I have been packing her personal items and clothes into storage. Now please leave so that I can complete this task.’

Surprise and then anger rose up in Lore. ‘I should have guessed you’d do something like this,’ he said.

‘Personal quarters allotted to Starfleet staff are their responsibility. I have to maintain a certain degree of order, otherwise-’

‘Not the water!’ Lore snapped, moving closer to him, ‘you turned off your emotion chip, didn’t you?! You turned it off!’

Data tilted his head. ‘Yes,’ he said, his expression only subtly touched by uncertainty.

‘You are so unbelievably _selfish!_ ’ Lore said, his voice rising in volume.

‘I do not understand why you are angry.’

Lore laughed then, but it was bitter and pained. ‘And there I was, thinking you’d grown as a person, that you’d become more human and that you were more than just a machine!’

‘I am confused. What are you attempting to convey?’ Data asked.

‘How long did it take you to switch the chip off?! Did you walk me back to your rooms yesterday and then switch it off as soon as you got here?!’ Lore yelled, ‘you couldn’t even grieve for her, could you? And don’t give me that fucking crap about cascade failure – I _know_ what your diagnostics will have told you and so what?! I’m in the same position as you, Data, and I would never have chosen complete numbness over processing the void she’s left in my life! I cannot believe how selfish you are! _Kristen would be ashamed of you!_ ’

At that, Data put down the towels he was holding. ‘How I deal with Kristen’s death is no concern of yours,’ he said, in a careful tone, ‘and I believe that instead of coming here to unload your pain on me, it would be far more prudent and productive for you to seek counsel with Deanna Troi. She is your therapist. I am not.’

Lore saw red then. He grabbed hold of his brother’s forearms and then he dragged him out of the bathroom. In the lounge area, he tightened his grasp on him and then he threw him at the wall. 

Data’s body made a loud thudding noise as it made impact and then, when he’d balanced himself and looked up, he frowned with even deeper confusion. ‘This is pointless,’ he said, ‘I will _not_ fight you. I have chosen not to feel anything from now on and that is my business, Lore. It has nothing to do with you,’

‘Like hell it doesn’t,’ Lore snarled. Then he moved again, taking Data’s shoulders and shaking him hard. ‘Turn your fucking chip back on! _Right now!_ ’

Data wrenched himself away. ‘I will not,’ he replied, ‘and unless you desist this mindless display of violence, I will call for security and have you returned to the brig,’

‘Hah! Like any of the security staff on the ship could force me to do anything I don’t want to do!’

‘Then I will escort you, if need be.’

Lore laughed again. ‘This is crazy… I cannot believe that _you_ are being the numb and selfish one and _I_ am having to shake some sense into you.’ Then he aimed a swift kick at Data’s solar plexus that sent him hurtling back at the wall again. The impact was harder this time and the wall trembled. ‘Data, I am not going to stand by and let you do this to yourself. You will turn that damned chip back on right now or I will crack your head open and do it myself – manually. You fought hard for that chip and Kristen showed you how to use it! She healed you and you told me that yourself! Turn it back on and honour her memory by feeling your grief or I will-’

Data surprised him then by striding towards him but when he aimed a punch, Lore ducked and avoided it. His brother still couldn’t feel anything but it was clear that something vital was happening. Lore stepped backwards and tried to avoid Data again when there was a second swing, but this time his shirt was grasped and he was thrown. He landed on the coffee table and the glass smashed beneath him.

Lying there, Lore checked for damage. His back was cut up, but it was superficial. He took a moment try and sit up but then he heard a telltale bleeping noise and when he turned his head, he saw that Data’s chip had either been willingly reactivated or it had been triggered of its own volition. Data’s face was contorted by anger and pain but it didn’t stop him heading in for another round. Lore let himself be grabbed and when he was hauled to his feet, he closed his eyes in a split-second before Data finally landed a good, hard punch right in his face.

‘That’s more like it,’ Lore said, knowing that one of his front teeth had been dislodged. He managed to spit it out and then he put his hands to Data’s arms and stared into his blazing eyes. ‘Hit me again if you need to! Anything has to be better than being a selfish, numb, unfeeling-’

_Thwack._

This hit was a powerful one. Lore’s head rocked back and then he spat out another tooth. Wincing, he managed to shove his brother away and then they simply stood there and appraised one another, both shaking as light reflected from the broken glass beneath their feet.

‘You should not have come here,’ Data said, his tone deadly now, ‘I was coping sufficiently without your interference,’

‘Deactivating the chip is not coping,’ Lore returned.

‘It was my decision!’ Data shouted, his hands curled into fists at his sides.

‘Like it or not, you are going to feel this tragedy, brother, and like it or not, we are going to have to feel it together. Because Kristen didn’t want us to fight anymore. It was her dying wish for us to put our pasts behind us. Do not dishonour her by reverting back to that unfeeling, apathetic prick you used to be. Over time, Kristen helped you to feel and articulate every human emotion imaginable! Don’t insult her by undoing her work! She wouldn’t want to see you numb and unaffected. I’m not saying she’d want to see you in pain either but anything has to be better than the version of you I walked in on just now! You can’t sully her memory by refusing to process her death!’ Lore shouted back.

‘ _I know!!_ ’ Data yelled, and then, much quieter; ‘I know, Lore. I know.’

Dusting some of the smaller shards of glass from his clothes, Lore went to sit on the sofa. After a beat, Data followed him. ‘You won’t succumb to cascade failure. I know there was a warning but it won’t happen,’ Lore said.

‘I am receiving no warnings currently,’ Data conceded. His voice was broken now, utterly spent of anger and thoroughly darksome instead. ‘I panicked when my self-diagnostic informed me that the grief was too much. Since then, I have been too distracted by storing her things. I know I have been selfish. You are correct about that. I was self-absorbed… and I could not handle the loss…’

‘Grief _is_ selfish,’ Lore replied, equally dejected, ‘but it’s what we have to face. Now, can we do something productive? You knocked my teeth out and I’m too vain to walk about this ship with anything less than a perfect smile.’

Data frowned at him but he did go to fetch the necessary tools. When he’d found the teeth, he sat closer to Lore and made short work of re-fitting them to his lower jaw. 

‘Not that I believe I’ll be smiling anytime soon,’ Lore added, when the job was done, ‘I feel like my soul left my body when I watched the life drain out of her…’

Data sighed. ‘Losing Kristen is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me,’ he replied, ‘and I do not know how I am to go on.’

Lore sat back on the sofa. ‘We’ll have to try,’ he said.

‘What you do not understand is that I already feel as though my life is at an end,’ Data replied, ‘my grief will never reduce enough for me to move beyond this. I will never recover. It is not a choice I am making because of stubbornness or even reluctance… it is simply an honest truth. I wanted Kristen to be my wife. I can never, ever love anyone else. She was everything to me. She still is… and so if I eventually return to Starfleet duty, try to venture onwards in the hope of resuming any sense of normalcy, it will be futile beyond what even I can comprehend.’ Data looked down at his hands for a moment. ‘Lore… without Kristen, I have no-one. No-one who could ever matter to me as she did. No-one could take her place. I would not allow it.’ And then, he closed his hands into fists and burst into tears. ‘She was my beloved.’

Lore understood everything his brother was saying. It didn’t matter that Kristen had forgiven him for what he had done; he knew that she could never have died this way if he hadn’t changed her. He felt like apologising to Data again but was the mood was critical already, he decided not to make it about him. Instead, he moved closer to him and rested an arm around his shoulders in an awkward display of sympathy.

‘What are you doing?’ Data asked, even if he didn’t pull away.

‘Bonding with you,’ Lore replied, ‘and trying to be there for you too. I never even tried to be a decent older brother to you in the past. Now seems to be the right time to give it a shot,’

‘Kristen would have approved…’

‘I know, Data. Everything I do in my life from now on will be designed with her approval in mind,’

‘That will be worthwhile, even if nothing else will be.’

‘Indeed.’

They both fell silent then. Data leaned a little more towards his brother and in response, Lore rested his head against his. It was the closest they had ever been. In the quiet to follow, they shared the pain that was drowning them both but did not let it push their internal workings beyond safety parameters. In fact, they stayed there for hours in deep contemplation and when they did begin to talk to one another again they shared memories, good times and bad, and every sweet instance either of them had ever shared with Kristen Harper. Lore hoped that if she was in some celestial place now, she was looking down on them and smiling. That she was proud. That she was free from pain and that she was still in love with them both.

_I won’t ever stop loving you, Kris… just like Data, I will always see you as my one true love. Thank you for what you gave me. Thank you for setting me free…_

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Only a handful of chapters left to go now. Depending on feedback, I'll likely post every day this week until we get to the end. So please do share your thoughts and feelings. Cheers!


	50. Deux

Several days later, Captain Picard sat in his ready room. He was holding the crystal he’d owned for years, the one that he often toyed with when he had things weighing on his mind, and was gazing into the misty inclusions held within its tapered structure. 

Losing members of staff in the line of duty was nothing new. As a Captain, he’d been through this sort of thing far more than he would like. Kristen Harper had not been an officer so outstanding as to go down in history and nor had she served for more than a couple of years, but he did feel a very specific type of grief when he pondered her untimely death. The grief had lessened as time progressed, for himself at least, but it was still difficult for him to not think of her when he was alone in this room.

It wasn’t just because of what Data and Lore were going through or even because of Robert Harper; instead it was because of that bond he’d made with her, the one that he’d thought of consistently since the day she had died and even long before it. He had once been Locutus and Kristen had been through such similar processes when she had been changed. Being there for her had been upsetting but he hadn’t minded it. In a way, comforting her as she grieved over the loss of her previous self had helped him heal some of his own wounds. He would never fully forget what the Borg had put him through, but some scars never truly healed until you met someone who really understood your journey. 

He and Kristen had understood one another. The sense of violation, the horror at being semi-artificial. They had shared an understanding – and now she was gone. He remembered when she had asked him if she could attend what she believed would be a series of child psychology conferences. How he wished he could go back in time and deny that request.

Picard put the crystal down. He sat back in his chair and sighed. 

The _Enterprise_ was heading back to the Terran system at the moment so that Robert Harper could take Kristen’s body back to Earth for burial. He and her other ex-colleagues would attend the funeral, but Picard knew that Lore would not be allowed to attend and it was unlikely that Data would either. When her parents were informed as to what had become of their only daughter, they would be devastated beyond belief. It would not matter to them that Data had at one time been Kristen’s fiancée – they were vehemently anti-android and would not have either brother at the service. 

As of yet, Kristen’s parents did not even know she had passed away. Robert wanted to talk to them in person whilst the funeral arrangements were arranged and then she would be laid to rest with only immediate family and certain colleagues as witnesses. Picard had his dress uniform ready in his quarters already, not that he was looking forward to putting it on.

Needing to walk off some of this maudlin, he stood from his desk and then he headed out onto the bridge. He shared a few words with Commander Worf and Lieutenant N’Dya, the two officers who had manned his bridge so well throughout much of this drama and tragedy, and then he found himself entering the turbolift and descending within the ship.

At sickbay, he found Doctor Crusher sitting in her office. She was staring into space instead of at the comm panel in front of her, and her blue eyes were unfocused. So out of sorts she was, she didn’t even realise he was there until he coughed politely. Looking up, she considered his face. He gazed back at her, wondering what she was thinking.

‘How are you, Beverly?’ he asked.

‘Fine,’ she said, ‘maybe a little tired. How are you?’

‘Distracted,’

‘Yes, I am too.’ She sighed. ‘Deanna brought Robert here this morning. He’s still having a terrible time. She asked me to give him a light sedative so that he could try and get some sleep. I don’t think he’s managed more than a few hours here and there since Kristen passed. I feel terrible for him.’

Picard moved to place his hands on the back of the chair that was opposite her desk. ‘I wish I knew what to say to help the fellow. They say that time heals but in some situations I fear that may be false.’

Crusher nodded. ‘Do you think you will check in with Troi at some point before she leaves?’

‘I see no need to,’

‘I do. Kristen and yourself had a connection. You were there for her when her fear and pain was at its worst. How many times did you have to chase her out of the conduit networks?’

He almost smiled at the memory, so bittersweet it was. ‘Too many times,’

‘She brought out your paternal side. You must have been thinking about that recently. So maybe you should talk about that to someone?’

‘If I do, I will likely seek you instead. I trust Deanna with my life but you and I are much closer.’

Crusher watched him. ‘Something must have brought you here today, Jean-Luc,’ she speculated.

‘Indeed. I cannot deny that.’ He took a slow look around the room. ‘Perhaps I need some closure. If I wanted to spend a few moments with Kristen’s body, would you object?’

Her gaze intensified and then she stood up and came to him. ‘Not at all,’ she replied, ‘come with me. I’ll take you to her now.’

In the morgue, she uncovered the body. Then she took a moment to give his shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving him to do what he needed to. The doors closed behind her and Picard moved over to the medibed. Kristen did not look peaceful in her eternal rest – instead her open eyes were strained with tension and her mouth was downturned in grief, tinged by dried blood. Lifting a hand, he used careful fingertips to close those eyes and then he softly rearranged the stripy hair about her chalk-white face. He thought of Tasha for a moment – another wasteful death – and it made him sigh. Two strong women who had died for no good cause or reason. The sadness of it hurt his heart.

‘This sort of sentimentality is quite uncharacteristic of a Captain I know to be so dry and detached in his notorious endurance,’ said an unexpected voice.

Picard started, frowned and then he turned.

Q was lounging on another medibed, one further back in the room, in the usual Starfleet Captain’s uniform. He was also wearing opera glasses and holding a box of theatre popcorn. 

‘You can mock me,’ Picard snapped, instantly incensed, ‘and you can mock and play games with my crew, but I will not allow you to make a burlesque of this tragedy. Kristen Harper was kind to you when many others were not. The least you could do is show some respect when her body lies only a few feet away from you.’

Q moved the glasses away from his eyes and arched an eyebrow. ‘I was simply commenting on the fact that you seem to be moved by this eventuality, mon Capitaine. Was I mistaken?’

‘Of course not,’ Picard shot back, ‘now, please leave. I do not have the energy right now to remind you how unwelcome you are here nor for the inevitable argument to follow. We are heading back to Earth to bury this poor young lady and your attention-seeking could not come at a worse time,’

‘Attention-seeking?’ Q looked scandalised.

Picard stared pointedly at the popcorn and the opera glasses. ‘And those props are more than offensive! This is not a charade, it is real life and most certainly not for your entertainment!’ he snapped.

Q shrugged and at that, both items disappeared. ‘Forgive me for trying to lighten the mood,’ he said.

‘Forgiven. Now get off my ship,’ 

‘Jean-Luc, I am here with a purpose, as it happens.’ Q’s eyes lost their humour then and darkened. ‘I have been watching over this whole mess, right from the moment you all thought I had left the ship. I have overseen all of what Kristen went through. She called out for me sometimes, you know. Like a child praying to God. It was… moving.’

At that, Picard’s anger reduced a little. But only a little. ‘And you decided not to answer her prayers when you could have done so? For once, you could have used your omnipotence to help someone truly in need and you chose not to? How can you justify that?’

‘I oversee more than you could comprehend,’ Q replied, looking to Kristen’s body, ‘I might not involve myself in everything that happens on this ship, but I’m always watching,’

‘And what do you make of this?’

Q became completely serious then. He moved around the other side of the bed and put his hand to Kristen’s face, rubbing away a little of the rust-coloured blood from her mouth. ‘You were right that she was kind to me when others were not. I was cruel to her on occasion, to test her resolve, and even when she was angry she was more respectful to me than many I’ve known. She was forgiving and soft-hearted.’ His eyes narrowed a little and then he sighed and looked up. ‘I liked her.’

‘She was a good officer and also a good person,’ Picard agreed.

‘Yes. As I said – I’m here for a reason. Because of her kindness, I believe that I owe Kristen a debt. I tried to fulfil that with her during my last visit but she insisted there was no score to settle. I offered to give her the child or even children that Data could never give her. I even offered to revive Lal, so they could have the family they deserve. But she said no. I told her I would not forget what we shared, though… and as you know, Jean-Luc, I _like_ to repay my debts. I have repaid much of what I owed you over the years, of course. That cannot be denied.’

Picard was hesitant, not sure what to say. ‘What do you propose?’ he asked.

‘Let me be your deus ex machina,’ Q replied, ‘let me fix this problem. I won’t outstay my welcome. I won’t do more than exchange wrongness for right. Just this once… trust me?’

‘It’s not so easy. Even if you did bring Kristen back to life, you would only return her to the state of personal conflict that has held her between both Data and Lore and-’

‘I know all about it. I have seen it all. Let me fix this, for all parties concerned. _Trust me._ ’

And then before Captain Picard could express anymore confusion or concern, Q clicked his fingers and something both shocking and remarkable began to occur. 

The whole of the infirmary morgue was filled with blinding light that was white at first and then cerulean. The tables shook. Picard covered his face to protect his eyes from the light. He felt the floor begin to tremble beneath his feet because of the pressure. It was like an earthquake and yet not violent enough to topple anything or create cracks in the floor. It went on for at least a minute or maybe two and then all was silent and the light faded. 

Picard opened his eyes, dropped his arm and then he looked around, wondering what the hell Q had done. What he saw made him fall into a subtle state of shock. 

Kristen Harper was alive again but she was not a cyborg. She was the woman she had been before she had been taken – calm facial expression, long brown hair, brown eyes, a normal physique – no signs of torture, stress or abuse. She was even smiling a little and wearing her uniform. 

More amazing still – by her side there stood another Kristen Harper. This one was an android and Picard knew that with immediacy for her artificial status was obvious. She was very pale, had crimson eyes and long snow-coloured hair. Some of the positronic grafts remained on her head but they were more streamlined now and seemed to fit her better. She wore one of the black dresses that cyborg-Kristen had favoured and she filled it out well; not malnourished or ill with mental sickness. She was an albino-android version of her previous incarnation. 

There were two Kristens now. Q had literally revived the old, deceased version and split her into two; a human and an android. 

Then there was another vivid flash – one that echoed with sizzles of electricity. Yates, Jijesh, Sarrott and Jones were back too. Alive. 

‘What have you done?’ Picard asked, not sure if he was amazed by this or terrified.

‘What needed to be done,’ Q said. 

The human Kristen came over to him, still smiling. ‘It’s alright, Captain. There’s nothing to be afraid of.’ She offered him her hands and he took them, feeling the hairs at the back of his neck prickle and then stand to attention. This was eerie. ‘It’s me, can’t you tell?’

‘How much do you remember?’ he asked.

‘Well…’ She cast a look in Q’s direction and then she smiled more. ‘I remember all of it.’ She looked to Picard again. ‘It’s okay, though. All of my injuries have been healed – even my psychological ones. I might have all of my memories of what happened intact, but I’ve been healed in all ways. Everything is fine. I feel pretty great, truth be told. The same can be said for the others.’ She looked over to Yates, Jijesh and the rest. They too looked serene and calm.

Q went to stand with the android Kristen. ‘This one might need some guidance, though. Someone to care for her and show her the way. But I’m sure that Lore will be able to help her there,’

‘Lore,’ the android girl echoed, ‘I want to go to my keeper. Where is he?’

‘Soon, child,’ Q said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

‘Don’t you see?’ Kristen said, squeezing Picard’s hands, ‘the score has been settled and now everyone will be alright. All is well.’

Picard squeezed her hands in return, let go of them and then just stood there perplexed. A hundred thousand thoughts were running through his mind and he did not know how to order them.

‘Don’t go overboard with thanks, Jean-Luc,’ Q said, arching an eyebrow.

‘Miracles might be easy to digest for members of the Q Continuum but for us mere mortals, they can be incredibly intense and hard to process,’ he replied.

‘You’re welcome,’ Q said, with a small smile, ‘and now, I must be on my way.’

Kristen turned around then. ‘No, wait a minute,’ she said.

‘Hmm?’

She went over to Q and his smile melted away then. He looked as though he was expecting to be admonished at first, which made no sense given the benevolent deed he had just performed. Picard felt that it must be because rebukes were what Q was used to receiving – sharp words and orders to leave rather than warmth or thanks. He was the eternal trickster, after all a version of Mephistopheles with a wicked sense of humour. 

Kristen ignored the subtle look of trepidation on Q’s face and before he could protest, she pulled him away from her android twin and then she lifted her arms and pulled him into an embrace that took him offguard completely. She held him tight and Picard watched as Q’s expression slowly calmed. He even closed his eyes briefly as he held her in return. When she let go, she leaned up and kissed him. It was a platonic kiss, but it was on the lips.

‘Thank you,’ she said to him, ‘I don’t think even you can understand what you’ve done and how much happiness it will bring. You’re a good person. Just go now and stay out of trouble, alright?’

Q rolled his eyes and laughed. ‘ _You_ stay out of trouble, Harper. We’re even now. The next time you pray to me for an intervention, I might not be so eager to involve myself.’

She just grinned. ‘See you around?’

‘Perhaps.’

He grinned back at her, clicked his fingers and disappeared in a flash of light.

Picard was glad to see him go but he would also have been lying to himself if he had said that there was no part of him that was relieved. He was very relieved. For once, Q had done the right thing. He had certainly interfered with fate and had pulled the puppet strings on the lives – and deaths – of people, but this time the outcome was favourable.

Watching the human and android Kristens as they appraised one another with small and curious smiles, he tapped his comm badge and asked Doctor Crusher and Counselor Troi to join them. He was not out of his depth this time; instead he simply wanted to make sure that both of these young women were as well as they seemed to be. When he considered again that one of them was an android, he asked Commander LaForge to join them too. The four psychology staff officers who had died at Lore’s hands were still standing there and talking amongst themselves. They seemed to be in perfect health, not at all marred by torture or pain. It was remarkable but they also needed to be checked over.

It was obvious that the two Kristens would want to leave the morgue soon. Lieutenant Kristen Harper was wearing her engagement ring again, the one she had lost during her captivity, and she kept turning it this way and that on her finger. Her android twin kept looking towards the doors with a hopeful expression on her milk-white face. But before he allowed them to leave and seek the two men they longed to be with, Picard wanted to know for sure that they were well. That they were not a pair of mirages who might turns into wisps of smoke and disappear. The same could be said for the others.

When his colleagues turned up, all three of them entering the room at the same time, they halted abruptly and then they just stood there and stared. Without ceremony, LaForge’s eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted, hitting the floor with a thud. 

‘What the hell is going on?!’ Crusher demanded, as she rushed over to him.

‘A miracle,’ Troi said. She was mesmerised by the six resurrected people who stood before her and her lips were tilted with a smile. ‘Sir? This is a miracle!’

‘Indeed it is,’ Picard replied.

*

Yates, Jijesh, Sarrott and Jones were the first to leave. They checked in as healthy and normal and when Crusher confirmed that nothing was amiss with any of them, they were permitted to go to their quarters so they could contact their families and loved ones to let them know what had happened. As a quartet, they departed in deep conversation.

Kristen was impatient to leave too and as soon as she and her twin had been checked over, she grabbed her hand and they moved over to the sickbay doors together. LaForge was awake again by then, having recovered from passing out in shock, and was watching them both with wide, curious blue eyes. He had confirmed that her paler, mechanical self was most certainly an android and though Kristen had known that already, she hadn’t minded the need to make sure of it for everyone else. Crusher was appeased that they were both in top-notch physical order, even if she too was finding it hard not to stare. 

When Picard asked Troi if she sensed anything amiss, Deanna just shook her head and smiled. ‘They’re both fine. It’s almost as though they never died… or that Kristen never died. Though they are both Kristen, obviously.’

Picard nodded to her. ‘Yes, but… are you confident enough about their psychological and emotional wellbeing to relieve them from sickbay already?’

‘I might keep quiet about it, but I am a hopeless romantic, Sir.’ Troi pressed her hands together and then held them to her chest. ‘I really do believe that we should let them go to where they need to be, if you understand me correctly.’

He thought that through and then turned. ‘Kristen, what are your plans?’

‘I’ll answer this,’ human Kristen told her twin. ‘I would like for us to go and see Robert first. I think that it’s the right thing to do. As much as my sister and I are desperate to see Data and Lore, Robert needs to know what’s happened and I want to see him too. So we will visit his quarters first and then… when he understands the miracle that has occurred… I will take my twin to Lore’s rooms and then I will go to Data.’

Picard said nothing at first. He moved over to them both. ‘I trust that you will be-’

‘Patient and mindful as I go and shock the hell out of all three of them,’ she cut in, ‘yes, absolutely. I won’t let you down, Sir. I’ll try and make this as easy as I can.’

He gave her a small smile. ‘Then you’re relieved, Lieutenant. Please report to me tomorrow, at your convenience.’

She smiled back at him and then both Kristens left sickbay. When the doors closed, they kept hold of one another’s hands as they moved. Kristen glanced at her twin. Her red eyes were even more startling now that her skin and hair were so white. She had a quieter, more anxious disposition too. The others might think that the only differences between them were down to organic/synthetic status and physical appearance, but they couldn’t be more wrong about that. Her android counterpart was a deliberate throwback to when Lore had first altered her; when she had been innocent and whimsical and in need of direction and care. She was naturally sweet, quizzical and somewhat vulnerable too.

As they walked together, Kristen realised something important. ‘We can’t have the same name, you know,’ she said.

Red eyes blinked. ‘Why?’

‘Because it will be far too confusing,’

‘But I am Kristen…’

‘And so am I. How about we call you… hmm, I don’t know. How about we call you… Krysta? Do you like that name?’

‘It is pretty… but what if my keeper objects? He should be the one to name me,’

‘Trust me,’ Kristen said, feeling a tug on her heartstrings, ‘when he sees us he’ll be too overwhelmed to care about such things,’

‘Alright. My new name is… Krysta,’

‘Yes.’

They reached Robert’s rooms and when they got there, Kristen took a few moments to ask her twin to let her do all of the talking. Only she could explain this situation in a way their brother would understand. She was a little nervous about the shock he was about to receive but she trusted that Q would never have set something in motion that she couldn’t handle or that would lead to more heartbreak. Taking a deep breath, she alerted that she was there and then she kept hold of Krysta’s hand and waited. 

The door swept open and Robert appeared – dark eyes shadowed with grief, his face unshaved and his posture broken. He lifted his head and brother and sister looked upon one another.

‘What the hell…’ he murmured. ‘Krissy?!’

‘Don’t panic,’ she said, ‘everything is okay. Just let us in and I’ll explain everything to you,’

‘But… you’re dead. I saw your body. I held your body in my arms, kid. How can you be here?’ Then he looked to Krysta. ‘What… who… how…?’

‘Let us in,’ Kristen insisted.

He moved out of the way. Once inside, Kristen guided her twin self into sitting down on a chair and then she came to Robert and reached for his hands. He looked down at them then back up at her face. Tears were shining in his espresso eyes. ‘This isn’t possible…’ he said, ‘have I lost my damned mind? This has to be a hallucination…’

‘No.’ She held his hands and then she was helping him to sit down on the sofa. By his side, she watched as he started to cry. ‘You haven’t gone crazy, Rob. Instead, a miracle has occurred. If you don’t mind, I might need computer access in here to help me explain it,’ she explained.

‘Sure, whatever you need,’ he replied, with a helpless gesture of his hand.

Kristen used the ship’s computer to explain who Q was and then she used her own personal records to further explain what had occurred between herself and the aforementioned omnipotent being during his last visit to the ship. It took some time, over forty minutes, but Robert did listen carefully and eventually he understood that she had been resurrected from death and that her cyborg self had been split into two – human and android. 

‘This is blowing my mind,’ he said, tears still streaking down his face, ‘how am I supposed to deal with this?’

Smiling, Kristen moved closer to him and pulled him into a hug. ‘I think that the less you try to ground the happening, the easier it will be to make sense of. Q can do anything he wants, Rob. He could create or destroy universes in the blink of an eye. He could turn water into wine. He could turn the _Enterprise_ into a dancing pony. He’s like a God, only… he’s rather more mischievous. All you need to know is that I’m back and this time, I’m safe and I’m not going anywhere. You can cancel those funeral plans. I’m here. I’m back. I’m alive.’

‘Oh, kid…’ Robert hugged her tight to him, stroking her hair with his hand and sobbing into her shoulder. ‘I love you so much. Losing you was agony. I can’t believe you’re here,’

‘Believe it,’ she said, kissing his grizzled cheek, ‘and I love you too. You’re the only family I have.’

‘What about me?’ Krysta asked, quietly so.

Rolling her eyes good-naturedly, Kristen left her brother’s embrace and turned to look at her twin with a soft smile. ‘You’re family too, Krysta. Don’t worry.’

Robert puffed out a deep, shaky sigh. ‘I don’t know what to do with her,’ he said, in a half-whisper, ‘am I her brother too? What…?’

‘We’ll work it out,’ Kristen replied, ‘plus, I have a feeling that when she and Lore are together again, they won’t be on this ship for too much longer. He has his ethical subroutine now and he can’t hurt anyone. When he has me… Krysta… a version of me, he’ll have all he needs. Plus, Q resurrected the others that he killed. He didn’t bring Ria back, for reasons I can only guess at, but he did bring back Jijesh, Jones, Sarrott and Yates. Because of what Q did… Lore is no longer a criminal,’

‘He is to me,’ Robert said, his voice cold.

Kristen stroked the back of his hand. ‘You’ll have to let it go, big brother. Because as much as this version of me is in no way infatuated with him, I still love him and know him inside-out. I’m not _in_ love with him… I could only ever feel that way about Data… but I still hold warmth for him and I wouldn’t let him come to harm. Since he did what he did… what was undone today… he has changed more than you could know. He isn’t evil anymore. He’s still an arrogant idiot at times, but he’s not the poisoned individual he used to be. You will have to forgive him for-’

‘I’ve had to take in a lot today, kid,’ Robert interrupted, ‘and I’m still not sure if this is some dream… but the one thing you’ll have to let me have is my feelings about Lore. They won’t change, even if he has.’

Krysta made a sniffing sound then and when they both looked to her, a golden tear had meandered down her cheek. ‘Please don’t hate my keeper,’ she said, quiet but imploring, ‘he is not a bad person. He is kind and generous and he takes care of me.’

Robert sighed, his body tensing.

‘We’ll talk about this later, Krysta,’ Kristen told her twin. Then she looked back to Robert. ‘No more talk of Lore for now. I’m going to take Krysta to him and then I’m going to see Data,’

‘Will you come and see me tomorrow? We should be at Earth by then and I need to see you again before I go back to Katie and Brinn,’

‘Of course.’ Kristen smiled and stroked his face, tenderly so. ‘I love you, Rob.’

He caught her hand in his and managed a brave smile for her. ‘I love you too, little sister. More than you could ever know.’

*

To ensure that Data would not switch his emotion chip back off, Lore had spent the last few days in his quarters and during that time, they had shared a great deal. Lore was sure he’d never talked so much to anyone in his whole life, if time with Kristen and Troi wasn’t counted into the equation. When they were not obsessing over what they had lost, they talked of everything else they had shared – their Father, their Mother, Omicron Theta, being the only two sentient androids in all of the universe and so much more. 

Beneath the dim-lux of the lights, they drank the coffee that Kristen had once depended on and they vented each and every detail of their lives. The endless conversing was something of a defence mechanism in some ways, Lore knew. All the time they were sharing the stories of their lives, they were not letting the grief pull them down too far. It was a verbal gauze over uncountable wounds. A way to pass the time when trying not to face the darksome truths of their new reality.

Data was definitely in no fit state for duty. Lore was not sure when his brother would be able to resume his career. They both cried quite fitfully on occasion but that much was alright with him. He had no responsibilities other than to himself. Data, on the other hand, was the First Officer of the flagship of the fleet. There would come a time when he would either need to resign or try to go back to work. Lore never mentioned it, though. Being around Kristen for months and months had taught him about compassion and patience. Instead of raising awkward questions, he just encouraged his brother to talk and as Data did so, sometimes for hours, Lore listened. He listened and he held back on giving advice. There was no advice to give in such a hopeless situation.

And then the inevitable time came where Data wanted to be alone. Lore wasn’t ready to leave, did not want to be without him after their half-week of bonding and attempted healing, but he couldn’t bear an argument and would do nothing to induce further stress. He asked Data what he was going to do and his brother replied that he was going to head into his bedroom, lie down and activate a dream program, one he hoped that would last for hours if not days. Lore asked him to promise that he would not switch off his feelings and Data gave his word. They said goodbye to each other and that was that.

Lore went back to his own rooms, finding nothing there but emptiness. He had little to do, if anything at all. He did not require a shower or bath, did not need to eat or sleep. He could not dream. He changed his clothes out of restlessness and then he lay down on the sofa in the lounge and stared up at the ceiling. 

_How many more nights and days will I spend here, barely existing? What will become of my life now? I’m not allowed to leave the ship because of everyone I killed and even if was granted that permit, I couldn’t leave Data. He thinks he’s so alone but he isn’t. Apart from what we’ve found as of late, he also has our Mother and he has Kristen’s brother too. He even has her sister-in-law and her niece. He has his friends and colleagues, those who have been loyal to him for years. It is me who has no-one. Data might need me right now or is he just tolerating me? I don’t know… all I do know is that when I’m not with him I am more alone than I’ve ever been._

_Kris… what I wouldn’t give to have just one more minute with you. I miss your vanilla scent, your soft lips, your stripy hair. I can never forgive myself for what I did to you but it doesn’t stop me from missing your face, your body, your mind, your heart. I miss your voice – that English accent that leaves echoes in my soul. I miss holding you, kissing you, all of what we shared…_

_But you’re gone now and it’s my fault. I shouldn’t crave you, I really don’t have the right, but I do crave you… and I can’t stop thinking about you. You’ve only been dead for a few days and it feels like minutes or even just seconds since you said goodbye._

_I love you, Kris… I miss you…_

Putting a forearm to his face, Lore closed his eyes as the tears began to spill. He’d been so strong for Data, wanting to give his brother all of the support and love he deserved, but now he was completely alone Lore couldn’t help the pain that was erupting inside him. He didn’t sob, didn’t make any sound, but the tears were flooding his face now. He kept thinking about their sweeter times – the games in the lab, making love in his Father’s bed, her cartwheels and nursery rhymes, her sweetness and acceptance, even when she realised who she truly was and what she’d been robbed of. Lore even thought of their darker times – their fights, their agony, the way she had resented the love they’d found even if it claimed her heart. 

Her forgiveness might have wiped the slate clean, but it couldn’t take away the ebbs of pain that still lingered in his memories, in his heart. She might have set him free from his insidious side, but what was left behind was aching with vulnerability. Lore felt new to the world but he was alone. He’d opened his heart wide-open to her, but she was gone and could never come back. 

Data was there, but too lost in his own pain. They were together, apart. Lost in their grief. Sitting up, he wiped his eyes and shook his head at himself. ‘She wouldn’t want you to cry, you pathetic idiot,’ he told himself, ‘she’d want you to be strong… resilient. She wouldn’t want you to be in pain… but how else am I supposed to feel? It’s just my luck, my damned misfortune… my selfish _fault_ that the girl I’m meant to be with should die like this. Maybe I should go to the morgue. At least there I can be with her again.’

Then he laughed bitterly at such a morbid thought.

_Go and spend time with my dead girlfriend. Nice. Real nice. Next stop – cascade failure._

A signal at the door startled him then and Lore looked up. He wiped his face of tears once more and then he stood up and went over there, expecting – and hoping - that Data had changed his mind and wanted more of his support after all. He opened the door immediately but the sight he was faced with was instantaneously far too much to take.

Kristen. No, two Kristens. One as dark as a raven, the other as stark as virgin snow. Brown eyes and red eyes. Peachy skin and pale skin. Two equally beautiful faces. 

He gasped and stepped away from the door, horrified by what stood before him. He even held his hands up to ward them off. 

‘Lore, it’s alright,’ the human-looking one said, ‘it’s alright, I promise. Keep it together, okay?’

‘My keeper!’ the other one said, her face beaming with a smile. ‘My keeper!’

He shook his head, eyebrows knitted and mouth open in horror. ‘No… what is this? Some kind of a trick?!’

The human one took control of the situation with effortless poise. They both entered his rooms and when the doors closed, she got the android-looking one to stand out of the way and hushed her into silence. Then she came to him and reached to put her hands to his face. ‘Look at me,’ she said, ‘right now, Lore. Look into my eyes.’

He did so, shaking with distress. Her eyes were the ones he remembered from way back when. Not from when she was his perfect creation, not even from when she was his captive but right from the first ever time he had looked into them. She had been utterly terrified then but she had been strong too. A fighter. ‘What is this?’ he repeated. 

‘Listen to me,’ she said, her voice soft and calm, ‘Captain Picard went to the morgue to see my body and when he was there, Q turned up and-’

‘Q?’

‘ _Listen,_ ’ she insisted, her grasp on his face becoming firmer, ‘he admitted that he had heard me praying for help when I was broken. He’d been watching over this whole situation. He appeared in the morgue and after a little bit of talking, he took matters into his own hands and he brought me back to life. He performed whatever magic it is he holds and in no time… I was alive again, but I was split into two-’

‘This is madness,’ Lore cut in.

‘I know. I know it is. He separated the human and the android parts of me into two separate beings. I am the Kristen Harper who existed before you took me. My twin over there… whose name is Krysta, by the way, is the android part of the cyborg. She is completely artificial. She is not a Soong-type android. I don’t even know what she is in terms of design, but she is yours.’

He lifted his hands and covered hers. They were so warm. ‘Kris…’

‘ _You_ are her keeper,’ she said, her eyes determined.

‘But it’s _you_ I love,’ he managed.

She inhaled a breath, held it and then released it. ‘I love you too but not in the way you need, Lore. My heart belongs to Data. Krysta is yours. She’s the me you are destined to be with,’

‘What is she? Some sort of consolation prize?’

Affronted, Kristen pulled her hands from his face and then she put them on her hips. Looking at her like that, so full of power and life and beauty, he wanted to fall down on his knees and kiss her feet. Instead, he held his place, wishing that his heart would stop thudding. ‘No,’ she said, ‘the reason why Q split us into two beings is so that yourself and Data can both keep me. I won’t try to tell you that it’s going to be easy or that it will even make sense but it is what it is.’ She took another deep breath. ‘Are you alright?’

He stole a look at the pale angel across the room; the one with the frosty hair and alabaster skin. She was clearly engaged with him already. Her innocent face held crimson eyes that implored him for acceptance. Lore watched her for another long moment and then he turned back to the Kristen he recognised and adored. ‘I don’t know if I am okay,’ he admitted, ‘how can I be? I’m still not over your death and now suddenly you’re here again… alive… and… there’s another you… and…’

She gave him a brave smile. ‘It is what it is,’ she repeated, ‘be strong,’

‘And what now?’

‘I leave you here with my twin and I go to tell Data the news,’ she replied.

‘But… I don’t even know Krysta,’

‘Oh, you do,’ Kristen assured, ‘you know her better than anyone else ever could. She is the version of me that you created as your ideal of perfection. She is everything you wanted and maybe more,’

‘No, _you_ are who I want,’ he countered.

She tilted her head, smiling softly. ‘I am Data’s,’ she stressed, not unkindly, ‘and Krysta is yours. Data and I are meant to be… and you are meant to be with my twin. Don’t fight it. Just trust me.’ 

Lore realised that it didn’t matter what he said. She was definitely her old self again – 100% committed to his brother. She didn’t want him. He was still registering the pain of that when she moved closer to him again and put her arms around his neck. Lore closed his eyes, accepting the affection with a distinct lump in his throat. He supposed he deserved this really. He deserved for fate to land him with a consolation prize instead of the woman who had changed his life. He hugged Kristen in return, wishing he never had to let go, but she ended the embrace long before he was ready and then she stood there and gave him a more serious look.

‘Q brought the others back too,’ she told him, ‘Yates, Jones and the others.’

Stunned, he stared at her.

‘He made everything right. They’re just as alive as I am,’ she added.

He managed a breath. ‘I… just…’

‘I know, me too. It’s crazy,’

‘It is. I love you, Kris…’

‘I’ll always be in your life,’ she told him, ‘always. Just not in the way you need. So take all of that love and need you’re feeling for me and give it to my twin instead. She needs you just as much.’

With one last smile, she turned to leave his rooms. Kristen was gone too quickly. The doors hissed shut in her wake.

Lore was still shaking. He turned to look at Krysta again. She was striking in her paleness; like a ghost glimmering in coal-dark space. He didn’t intend to reject her but as this was a version of Kristen he had never known, he was filled with trepidation and nerves. He didn’t know if he could take care of her or if she could handle him; faults and all. She watched him with a shy smile and he wondered if she perhaps knew him already, had some sort of advantage on him that Q had brought about. If she was the version that Kristen had explained, then she surely should know him well enough. But what was she feeling? Was she afraid? He certainly was.

‘My keeper…’ she said, with startling reverence.

‘You don’t need to call me that,’ Lore replied.

She frowned. ‘But… that is who you are. You are my keeper and I am your pet.’

He watched as she took a few nervous steps towards him. Seeing her face much closer now, he couldn’t deny how identical she was to Kristen. Her eyes and skin might have different colours, her hair too, but her facial features were just the same. Her body was the same shape as Kristen’s before she’d been starved and abused – curvy, womanly. She seemed frail still, somehow, or was it the neediness she exuded? Lore couldn’t make sense of this, despite his acutely intelligent brain. This was all happening so quickly. Too quickly.

‘Wait,’ he said, holding up a hand before she could come any closer.

She blinked long eyelashes. ‘What is it?’

He couldn’t answer that question. ‘Look… let’s just sit down together. Sit down on the sofa.’ He pointed to it.

She nodded and did as she was told obediently. Krysta rested her hands on her knees and then she blinked her eyes again and waited for him. Lore watched her and then he went to take a seat by her side. A long moment of silence passed between them.

‘What do you remember?’ he asked, breaking the spell.

‘You created me to be your perfect love. I exist for you.’ It was almost robotic. ‘I am your girl, your pet, your ideal. My purpose of existence is your pleasure. I do what you tell me to and when you tell me to do-’

‘It’s not right,’ he said, feeling misery claim him, ‘at one time I might have thought that my perfect love would be submissive and innocent and… like you… but since then I’ve become a different man. I don’t want to hurt you, but… you’re too fake. Q clearly didn’t know what he was doing at all. The version of Kristen I loved most was independent and fiery… she was strong and fierce. I don’t know who or what you are, but you’re not mine.’

She took that in, pulling back a little. ‘Then who will take care of me?’

He felt exhausted then. Lore shifted on the sofa and bent to put his head in his hands. He stayed like that for a long time, glad that she didn’t say anything else that might add to his malaise. Less than fifteen minutes ago he’d been in one distinct pitch of depression and now he was sinking into another, only radically different. 

He’d lost Kristen, found her again, been rejected and then had been forced to try and accept this blank and childlike version. It was too much. Tears welled in his eyes again but he closed them so they wouldn’t spill. He wished he could be somewhere else, maybe back during the days when he lived as a criminal – someone liberated from morals and fragile human feelings. All of this was suffocating. When he opened his eyes again and turned his head just slightly, wondering how Krysta was processing his behaviour, he saw that she too was sitting with her head in her hands.

Puzzled, he slowly sat up. She did the same exact thing, dropping her palms from her face. He raised his eyebrows and she copied. Lore narrowed his eyes, opened his mouth just slightly and Krysta mirrored each movement.

‘Are you mocking me?’ he asked.

She shook her head. ‘No. I would not dare.’

He sat back on the sofa and she did the same thing. He lifted an arm to rest it on the back of the seat and she did the same thing with hers. When he crossed one leg over the other, she did too. It was only when he uncrossed that leg and turned to face her more fully, Krysta copying, that he started to feel a subtle hint of amusement. ‘What is this foolishness?’ he asked.

She smiled, coyly so. ‘My keeper is sad,’ she replied, quietly, ‘and I want you to know that we are one and the same. I share your confusion.’

Lore moved closer to her. ‘Do you even know what you are?’ he asked.

Krysta lifted her chin a little, red eyes focusing on his. ‘I am Krysta. I am your pet.’

Intrigued, he put a hand to her face. He didn’t touch her with affection, instead he held her firmly as he took a good look at her. Her positronic grafts had changed. There were no flashing lights on her head now. Her hair was so white it was almost transparent; a cascade of soft silver that perfectly complimented her skin-tone. She looked new – untouched. That’s exactly what she was; an entirely new being created by a Godlike creature he could not fathom. Lore felt her artificial breath warm his fingers. Her lips were open, her eyes gazing into his. When he let go of her, continuing to watch her as he sat back again, she licked her lips and blinked. 

_Beautiful girl._

‘I’m not promising you anything,’ he said.

‘Will you take care of me?’

‘No promises,’ he replied, horribly conflicted. It annoyed him that he was softening towards her already. Not by much, but there was a distinct fondness making itself known inside him. He just couldn’t help himself. Lore was certain that there was no version of Kristen that could ever exist that he would not love. Even if she wasn’t the original and definitive version, Krysta still had the appearance and the sweetness of the woman he adored. 

‘Please don’t reject me,’ she said, ‘we are supposed to be together.’

For a while, he just sat there and looked at her. The madness of it was still swirling inside him like a blizzard of cold shock and blinding emotional pressure. 

Krysta didn’t beg him now, didn’t push for more than he could give. Instead, she just stayed with him and kept quiet. Lore felt himself grow calmer over time though he knew that the bizarreness of it all might take days or even weeks to fully come to terms with. He wondered briefly how Data would cope with the surprise he’d be receiving at this time. He felt a spark of jealousy that Data would get the real Kristen but Lore knew he had to let it go or else his bitterness would return like never before and cause problems none of them would be able to fix. 

Feeling anxious then, he stood up from the sofa. He looked away from his albino companion and then he started to head towards the bedroom. When he was near the doorway, Krysta suddenly leapt onto him from behind. Her arms fastened around his shoulders and she even held on with her legs.

Lore halted where he stood. A memory – when her cyborg version had done this in the lab on Terlina III. He remembered that he had thought that if he had been human, she would have knocked him to the ground. He had rolled his eyes. The affection had been nice but he had wanted his pet to learn her place. In there here and now, he wasn’t sure how to feel... but amusement was in the mix of so many emotions. A smile touched his mouth with warmth and humour and he just couldn’t help it. 

‘Krysta,’ he said, using a firm tone.

‘Yes?’ Her face was right next to his.

‘This is inappropriate. Get down now,’ he ordered.

‘I don’t want to let go of you,’

‘You wish to displease me?’

At that, she let her legs slowly drop from around his middle and then she slid her arms from around his neck too and stood by his side. He turned to look at her and saw her pouting.

_You’re adorable. You’re so sweet. These sorts of traits used to repel me, but with you…_

Lore took her hand and Krysta lifted her despondent gaze to look at him, roused by his touch. ‘You’re not in any trouble,’ he told her, ‘but you need to know that I need time to get used to this. Can you give me time?’

Her sulk faded instantly. ‘Of course,’ she replied, with a small smile, ‘you’re my keeper. I love you.’

_I don’t know how this is possible… but I love you too already. I can’t say it yet… don’t know how long it will take me to say the words, but I will someday. I need time to process this, time to fully let go of your human counterpart, and we can’t rush what we’re finding. Be that as it may, I will take care of you, bright angel. This feels so right._

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Again, please do let me know what you think. If I get some feedback, I'll continue to post daily until the epilogue :)


	51. Strange Resolution

Outside of Data’s quarters, Kristen stood there and realised that for the first time since she’d blinked back into existence, since a miracle had morphed her from a corpse to two separate beings, she was feeling enough emotion to almost overwhelm her. She wasn’t in tears, wasn’t trembling, but as she stared at the doors in front of her she felt butterflies in her stomach and her pulse was racing. 

She had come through so much to get to this point. Being deceased had rather been like falling asleep for a while but even Kristen was not immune to the madness and poignancy of her unexpected resurrection. She wondered how Krysta was faring, if Lore was going to accept her and love her. If they’d make it. There was so much to think about. Just being in uniform again was crazy. Would she return to her job soon? Part of her hoped so but she also felt that a little bit of shore leave might be in order. What Kristen needed was for Data and herself to get off the ship for a while and have some time alone – real time alone, where nobody could bother them. 

But before duty and shore leave and designing plans to heal all they had been through, she had to let him know she was back. It had been easier returning to Robert and to Lore. Somehow, Kristen had known that they’d handle this and handle it they had, despite their shock and bewilderment. But with Data… she harboured a worry that he might find it hard to process. He might be passed his limit already and just seeing her face could hurt him. What she wouldn’t give to never hurt him again. It made her think of how she’d felt after the explosion on Loistros, when they had both almost died in the cave explosion accident. His vulnerability, something she could never have expected an android to exhibit, had taken her offguard and in turn she had felt fiercely protective over him. 

Just because he was an android, it didn’t mean that he was indestructible, either physically or emotionally. He could feel pain and heartbreak. He _had_ felt pain and heartbreak – too much of it.

 _I have to do this,_ she told herself, building courage, _even though I’m concerned that my return might upset Data as reality sinks in, the shock will surely pass and then we can go back to how things used to be. Or at least I hope we can… I hope he can handle this and that we can conquer the biggest obstacle we have ever been faced with. I need to do this. Time to take a deep breath, Krissy, and fully return to the only man you’ve ever loved._

She took that deep breath, released it and then signalled she was there. Waiting patiently, she felt the butterflies flap their wings faster and harder. She waited and waited, but Data didn’t come. She asked the computer to confirm that he was in those rooms and when she received an affirmative response, she signalled again. 

Still nothing.

_Oh, my love. Please be alright… I know you must be going through hell right now, but I’m back. I’ll take the pain away. Just answer the door…_

Kristen signalled a third time and when that too went ignored, she decided to go in there anyway. These quarters belonged to both of them now and also she was worried. The doors opened and she stepped through them, finding semi-darkness and silence. Spot’s green eyes were glowing in the shadows and so Kristen went over to her first. The cat purred as she was stroked and turned onto her side, exposing her belly. After a little more affection, Kristen straightened and looked around. She didn’t want to call for Data because hearing her disembodied voice would be far too frightening for him and so she wandered into the other areas to search for him instead.

He was in their bedroom. At first, she thought he had activated a dream program because he was laid on his side on the bed and his eyes were closed. Then, when she moved a little closer and his eyes opened and snapped to hers, she realised that Data had not been asleep at all. Visibly startled, he sat upright immediately and then they just looked at each other.

‘Don’t worry,’ she heard herself say, ‘I’m not a ghost.’ Then she cringed inwardly, wishing she had said something that wasn’t quite so stupid. ‘I mean to say that… well… rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated…’

‘Kristen?’ His head was tilted, amber eyes wide. His tone was different to what she had expected though. ‘How can it be that you are here?’

She moved a little closer and when she sat on the end of the bed, she was careful to give him space. ‘I’ll explain,’ she said, ‘but… you sound odd,’

‘Despite promises I made, I elected to switch off my emotion chip for the remainder of today. I could not process the grief I was feeling,’ he explained.

In the past, she might have been disappointed in him for doing that but instead she understood completely. ‘Alright. Would you like to leave it deactivated whilst I explain what happened to you or would you prefer to switch it back on now?’

‘Please explain first,’ he replied.

‘Q brought me back. He brought Yates, Sarrott, Jijesh and Jones back too,’ she said, ‘and also, he split my cyborg self into two parts. Elsewhere on the ship, Lore is currently getting to know a version of me that is an android – completely artificial. She looks like me but she has white hair and red eyes. Her personality is that of the version of me that existed before the memories of my true self were unlocked. Lore has his pet back… and I have been returned to you. I’m the me you remember, Data. I’m me again. The _real_ me.’

Data’s eyebrows shifted slightly as he listened to her. He wore the lightest of light frowns. His gaze left her face and he stared into space for a long moment. ‘I want to feel this… but I am afraid that my chip will overload. How did Lore handle the shock of what occurred?’

‘Well, it wasn’t easy for him… but there was no risk of cascade failure. He coped… and he understands that I don’t have any romantic feelings for him anymore. I still care for him but not in the way I did before I died. I am quite literally as I was before I was taken. I’m the me who wants you and no-one else but you,’ Kristen replied.

‘This is a miracle,’ Data said.

She managed a small smile then. ‘It is. Are you ready to feel it?’

‘Yes. Please standby.’ 

Kristen nodded and then she heard that bleep – the one that signalled the return of emotional capability. A subtle change in posture was to follow. Data’s shoulders slumped just a little and his hands clenched. In response, Kristen felt her heart rate pick up even moreso. He had the facts of her return and now he was letting the shock sink in, it was clear that he was instantaneously overwhelmed. That was not necessarily a good thing, she knew, but she had all the time in the world to support him as he made his way through the choking mist of grief and into the dawnlight and clarity of relief. 

Data’s stare intensified and then he was slowly moving so that they were sat up-close. She looked up at him, hardly able to believe how much she was feeling. Renewed by the healing Q had granted her, she felt new. Despite her memories, despite her nerves and worry, she felt blessed by this impossible opportunity to return to her android soul mate and fall in love with him all over again. His gentle left hand touched the side of her face and she leaned into it, unblinking as she tried to stay in control. By this point, Kristen was more than ready to cry but she wouldn’t. 

‘My beloved,’ he whispered, ‘you came back to me. You are here,’

‘Yes,’ she affirmed.

‘You are no longer dead… you are here… with me…’

She lifted her hand to cover his. He took that hand and when he moved to kiss it, he realised that she was wearing her engagement ring again – the one with the princess-cut white sapphire and blue diamonds. Data’s eyes wavered in their focus on those precious stones, that platinum band that had bound them as intended spouses so long ago. He covered it with his palm and then he looked into her eyes.

‘Tell me how you feel,’ she encouraged.

‘I feel as though this instance is too good to be true. If I allow myself to feel relief or trust… something else may go wrong. Should I believe in this… or will fate take you away from me again?’ he put to her.

Kristen saw gleaming tears line those sweet amber eyes she loved. ‘I’m not omniscient,’ she replied, ‘I can’t tell you the future. All I know for sure is that fate keeps bringing me back to you like this and that you’re the one I want to be with, Data. The clock of the universe ticks onwards but at the same time, the pages of the book of my existence have been flicked backwards. I’m not the girl who was taken. I’m not the girl who pushed you away when she was returned to this ship, the one who was altered and broken and confused. I’m the Kristen who agreed to marry you just before she left to further her education. I want to resume everything that I was robbed of – my career, my friendships… what we’ve had for so long. I just hope that this isn’t too much for you. That you won’t push me away. Can you still love me?’

Data closed his eyes briefly. Tears spilled, but only two of them – trails of golden starlight on pale cheeks. When he opened his eyes again he pulled her into his arms and held her close. Kristen smiled into the shoulder of his uniform and inhaled his clean scent. Those strong arms enclosed her for a long time as silence throbbed and she didn’t even think of breaking it with further explanations. His heart hammered like a drum and hers did too. Just to be held by him was like an absolution for tragic things that were far from her fault. When he did reduce the pressure of that embrace and pull back from her, her gaze sought his at once. 

‘Can you still love me?’ she asked again.

‘I could never feel anything for you but love,’ he said, ‘you are my beloved. You are the only woman I want to be with. I could never love anyone else,’

‘Data…’ She wished her chin would stop wobbling, but it couldn’t be helped. 

‘But you might be disappointed to know that as I tried to process your death I removed your personal things from our quarters and put them into storage. I even packed away the paintings I made of you,’ he admitted, with a hint of shame.

‘Why are you telling me that?’ she asked.

‘I wished to be honest,’ he replied.

‘I really don’t care about those things. It’s just stuff,’ she said, ‘we’re together again and that’s all that matters, sweetie. We’ll put everything else back into place tomorrow. As for tonight… if we could just return to how things were just before I left the ship, I’d be grateful,’

‘You want for us to behave as though your abduction never happened?’

‘Can you do that?’

Data tilted his head. ‘Yes. Nothing could be more appealing. I have longed for this for months.’

Kristen smiled. ‘Just tell me how you would like to spend today and whatever you need is fine with me. We can just sit together and talk and I’ll be happy, my love. We can lie together and be quiet for hours and hours and I’d be content. Anything at all that you need we can-’

He put his hands to her face and silenced her with a loving kiss. 

Kristen was surprised by it but she took that surprise and turned it into an open-mouthed response. This much affection, when she had expected more shock and disbelief and grief, was incredible. His kisses were just the same as she remembered – tender and skilled, sweet and knowing. She tried to keep up with Data as he loved her mouth and then he was suddenly moving his grasp to her waist instead and shifting her so she was laid on her back on the bed. Kristen gasped when he moved to open her legs and then kneel between them. Had Data been a human lover, with hormonal urges and desires that were ruled by bloodripe intentions, this sudden change of course might have been something she could have prepared herself for. 

She had thought that Data might need more time, more assurance, more patience and eternal sympathy as he came to accept that she had been resurrected from death. But he was acting as any other man would act, when reunited with the woman of his soul. Love that transcended all and everything spurred him into covering her body with his and then they were kissing again – frantic kisses this time, ones that made her heart melt with arousal and heat.

Kristen circled her arms around his neck but she only managed to hold onto him for a minute or two. Data bruised her lips with his, so passionate were his kisses, and then his hands were moving to work open the fastenings on her uniform. She lifted her waist or hips when such actions were needed; anything to assist his needy directions. He stared into her eyes, unsmiling and possessive, and then in almost no time at all she was in her underwear. It occurred to Kristen, as Data looked down at her body, that she had no idea what kind of underwear she was wearing. She had not dressed herself after all, had not put on the uniform that had just been stripped from her, and so was clueless as to how she looked at that moment. 

Resting up on her elbows, she saw that she was wearing the kind of lingerie she would never, ever have picked for herself – scarlet lace knickers, a matching bodice and thigh-high stockings. Accents of satin ribbon added to the romantic appeal, along with glistening garnets and rubies. Cherry fabric – rose petal soft. Her breasts spilled over corsetry and her waist looked smaller than ever, thanks to how she was cinched. Treasure had been concealed beneath her Starfleet jumpsuit; a masterpiece of erotic couture that even Kristen herself could never have dreamed of.

_What the hell?_

Briefly, she cast a subtle and subliminal admonishment to Q. How _dare_ he dress her in her uniform and then leave such sensual secrets beneath the military-issue grey-black-teal?! Had he ever expressed an interest in her beyond playful mockery and Mercutio-like mischief, she would almost question this choice of apparel and wonder as to his intentions. But when she dared to weigh up his decision-making, Kristen realised that he had opted to fancy her up this way because of devotions she had long-honoured instead of anything inappropriate. This was about his respect for what mattered the most to her, not anything wrong or shaded with displaced appreciation. What he had done was thoughtful, even if it was undeniably risqué.

It was then that she sent a subliminal thank you to Q instead and relaxed into the way she had been dressed for her lover. With dark hair in her eyes and arousal on her slightly parted lips, she looked up at her android paramour and smiled. This was the sort of thing she might have worn for their wedding night – something erotic and enticing, something special and unforgettable. It seemed that now was the time for her to be ceremonially bound in luscious lingerie instead however and so Kristen forgave that impish being that had resurrected her and hoped that Data would appreciate what lay so prone before him.

He was still kneeling between her legs. He had seen her in a wide variety of undergarments over the past two years but this particular ensemble was almost iconic in how its blood-like colour sang in the dim-lux of their quarters. Data put his fingers to the suspenders that connected her stockings to her bodice and unfastened the clips. Then he stroked the tops of her thighs. She watched him do that and then lifted her eyes to his. 

Data watched her as he then moved his hands to her waist and squeezed her there. ‘You look so beautiful,’ he told her.

‘I had no idea I was wearing these things,’ she confessed, ‘before today, I never owned underwear like this… I’m not the type to be ostentatious…’

‘I know,’ Data replied, with a small smile, ‘you have been returned to me… and you have been presented to me this way… like a gift. I am unsure that I deserve it, but I intend to make it mine all the same. You are mine, Kristen. I am yours. It is the truth of all we are.’

Kristen felt champagne bubbles of laughter tingling inside her and so she let them free. The nerves and the fear, the worry… all of it was released in tides of playful giggles. She released her death, her pains, her agonies. 

_I am alive._

Data leaned over her and she closed her eyes as he started to mouth gentle kisses along the slender column of her throat. The smile on her face would not die but it did turn softer as his lips traced patterns and eased her nerves. Her hands found his hair and she combed at it with her fingertips, feeling the synthetic fibres and remembering so many times in the past she had done the exact same thing. She even thought of the colour of his hair – liquorice brown, reddish depending on the light. One of her thumbs smoothed over his cheek and then found his sideburn. How she loved those sharp sideburns he had, how they framed his handsome face. 

Data kissed behind the shell of her ear and then he mouthed over her jaw. Kristen guided his mouth into the right position and then they were exchanging slow smooches that made her tingle all over. When he gifted her with a slow thrust of her hips against hers, she felt how hard he was. It made her want to moan but his kisses were too exploratory, too sumptuous to be interrupted by carnal vocalisations. Kristen wrapped her legs around him, put her hands to his lower back. When he thrusted again, her body responded; swaying, writhing. His tongue duelled with hers but the tension was sweet instead of desperate. 

_I am alive… and I am his. This is how it’s supposed to be._

And then he extracted himself from the kiss and took her arms in his hands. Kristen sighed as Data lay them down above her head. He knelt up between her legs once more and looked down at her body – encased as it was in finery of scarlet and wine. Dextrous fingers worked open the fastenings on her bodice and then he asked her to lift her back so he could remove it. She obeyed him and then all she wore was the knickers and the stockings. Amber eyes glistened with appreciation and Kristen wet her lips with her tongue, aroused and filled with love. 

There was so much softness – his touches, his kisses, those golden lips. His undressing of her body, his reverent affection. His love. But when he pulled those lace knickers from her, softness was exchanged for firm and unapologetic need. They tore a little, just enough for the splitting fabric to be heard, and then he was pulling them off her legs. Kristen wore only the stockings now and she was so entranced by the hungry look in his eye that she couldn’t help but stare at him. Data stroked his hands from her knees to her thighs and then he was atop her again; kissing her hard as his hips rolled against hers. 

Kristen took that for some time and then decided she’d had enough of lying beneath him. Not breaking the kiss, she put her hands to his shoulders and then she pushed him a little so he knew to turn over and take her with him. She had thought that she might be able to gain some control but he didn’t lie down. Instead, Data sat up and then he was holding her head in place with one hand and using the other to start toying with her nipples. His touches were firm and Kristen felt her sex flood with warm wetness as he pinched and pulled at those stiffened, tender peaks. She wanted to gasp, to draw in air through her teeth as the pleasure mounted inside her but still his deep and sensual kisses rendered her silent. 

She started to unfasten his jumpsuit top when the thought occurred and then she was forcibly ending their kiss so she could ask him to take it off. Data pulled it over his head, revealing that smooth moongold chest she loved so intensely and then tossed it away. When she smiled at him, biting her lip a little, he didn’t return it. His eyes were filled with arousal and she was sure she’d never seen him look so fierce in a sexual sense – not even during their first ever time. Before she could stroke his face and ask again how he was coping, he pulled her close so that their foreheads were touching. He gave a slow blink and then he sighed. 

‘Kristen,’ he whispered, ‘it is surreal that you are with me now… but it is also incredible and I cannot express my gratitude enough,’ 

‘You don’t need to,’ she replied.

‘Every time I think that I have lost you, you come back. Even from death, it seems. Please do not leave me again. Please do not _ever_ leave me again…’

‘Oh, my love.’ She put her arms around his neck and held him. ‘If I could control fate, you and I would never be apart. Not even for minutes or seconds.’

Data swallowed, openly emotional now. ‘I love you. I love you so much that it has become a genuine obsession. I cannot exist without you. Will you still marry me?’

‘Of course I will,’ she said, nuzzling her face against his.

‘I need to take you. I do not know that it will be easy or gentle… or patient… but I must have you immediately,’ he replied. Those words were incredibly arousing. He didn’t speak that way ordinarily and it took Kristen offguard, not that she minded. His hand left the back of her head and then it was squeezing her inner thigh before venturing to her sex, where he used just his fingertips to stroke her wetness. Their foreheads were still pressed and her arms remained around him. ‘I have to be inside you, my beloved… and I apologise in advance if it is not as slow or sweet as you deserve. I feel desperate at the moment. It is most… intense. I cannot fight it and nor do I wish to.’

Speaking of intense, what his hand was doing to her was much the same. She managed to take a breath and she nodded encouragement at him. There was a little more of that skilful stroking and then he withdrew his hand and put it to her mouth. Startled, she kissed and licked his fingers and then she was watching as he took off the rest of his uniform. Kristen moved over on the bed so that they would have more room to make the most of this heavenly reunion and once Data was back with her, he spread her legs again. Then he kissed his way from her sex to her stomach to her breasts and then to her mouth. Kristen held onto Data, wondering if he knew how he was taking her breath away already. 

When he started to ease his hardness inside her, she broke the kiss and stared up at him. His expression was completely serious, even when he started to move. The relief of being joined in this way again, along with the pleasure, had Kristen gasp and as their bodies settled into rhythm, she held onto his lower back and lost herself in his eyes. 

He had been right to say that this was unlikely to be slow or sweet, however. After just a few minutes of lovemaking, he seemed to come undone and not with a climax. Keeping himself over her, he used both arms to lift her from the bed and then he was picking her up entirely. Kristen was definitely used to an occasional display of physical strength that went way beyond the norm from Data but as she wrapped her legs around his hips and he pressed her to the bedroom wall, his thrusting became harder and more possessive. So much so, that she was startled by it. He wasn’t hurting her, wasn’t capable of hurting her, but this was far from gentle. 

She could only guess at how deep his pain ran and being intimate with her so quickly when they had only just been reunited could hardly be mellow and light-hearted. Their feelings were running high and there were so many, many feelings to count. Desire was only one of them and it was made more potent still by all of the dissolving grief and mending agony. How else could he come to terms with his shock? With the fact she’d come back from death to be with him? It had to be like this and Kristen knew she could take it. He might be making love to her now as though they had been forced apart for decades instead of months, as though every single emotion he had ever felt for her had merged inside him into one great and vast sensation of obsessive hunger, but Kristen could take it. She wanted it. No-one had ever wanted her like Data did. 

He started to draw lovebites from her throat and she smiled at the knowledge that he knew he shouldn’t but had elected to do so anyway. Right now there wasn’t anything he wanted or needed that she’d say no to. Her skin felt sensitised from that sucking pressure before long and just when she was thinking to herself that she’d be bruised there come tomorrow, he crushed his mouth to hers and started to kiss her again instead. Their tongues began a slow duel as his hips continued to buck in that hard, almost frantic rhythm. 

In almost every single respect, Data was very human when having sex and Kristen had thought that right since their first time. Now, however, as he gave it to her a little faster, she couldn’t deny that he was and always would be a machine. That was no bad thing at all and when it came to this sort of sex, it was _definitely_ no bad thing. In fact, Kristen came to terms with her technosexuality as the combination of being held up against the wall, the kissing and the thrusting all melted inside of her and put her on the course to climax. She accepted that it was one of a variety of reasons why they were so good together. Nobody had ever loved her like Data did but no-one could love him the way she did. They were married on a spiritual level and had been even before he’d proposed on one knee. She was thinking of that when her climax imploded and then she was breaking their kiss so she could cry out and moan.

Watching her carefully, Data slowed down his movements enough to let her be able to experience such bliss without it being too much and then, just as she was trembling in the aftermath, he moved a hand to the side of her face and stroked her there. 

Panting, she licked her lips and managed a deep breath that was shaky on the exhale. She was perspiring too. As she gazed into his eyes, she saw them fill with tears again. His expression hadn’t creased with sadness or even relief this time, he was simply moved enough to need to let the feelings out as he continued to sway in and out of her. Kristen wiped the first tear away when it spilled. She almost asked him if he was alright but then decided not to. The mindset he was in would not be easily explained and she didn’t want to make him talk when he was already processing as much as possible. Data blinked and when he did, a couple more tears spilled. Then he was lifting her away from the wall and turning so he could lay her down on the bed.

Kristen settled on the covers and then she unwrapped her legs from around him and put both hands to his face. Data kissed her. She stroked her fingers into his hair, wanting him to know that she understood how huge this was for him – how he was in an impossible situation and that it was alright that he was overwhelmed in a multitude of ways. He kissed her for a long time and then his hips started to move again. There was no softness, only urgency and desperation that had him grab her legs and start to lift them. Data knelt back then and, keeping his cock inside her, hooked both of her legs over his shoulders. 

She gazed up at him and that gaze was returned. To have him staring directly into her eyes as they had such hard and possessive sex was the kind of connection they both badly needed and yet it was also utterly thrilling for Kristen. She couldn’t blink or look away and so she just lay there was let herself be loved. 

*

Those brown sugar eyes that had haunted his every day since he’d first met her two years ago were mesmerising as Data kept the undersides of her legs held to his chest. He was sure that the only way he could truly accept that Kristen was back was to be as physical as he could with her without harming her or making her sore. Well, making her sore might be unavoidable at this stage, especially after the way he’d bitten and sucked at her throat, but he had not a single regret. The only thing that mattered was that he made love to her for as long as it took to be able to truly grasp that she was really here – that she wasn’t a dream. 

He was almost certain that this was happening but as he continued to thrust into her, he promised himself he wouldn’t let this end until the pain had been exchanged for life-affirming joy.

He needed to kiss her but couldn’t reach due to their position. He’d only just settled into this but then he realised that he could easily keep her legs up whilst bending over her to reach her mouth. She’d be bent into a very adventurous posture but Data was confident. She gasped as he moved his hands to rest at either side of her head but she didn’t try to drop her legs or move them. He gave her a long moment to adjust to the new position and then he leaned in and covered her mouth with his. As their tongues began to play anew, he felt more tears meandering down his cheeks. He wasn’t sure what sort of tears they were – sad, relieved, happy or confused. Either way, he couldn’t cease them and so he let them flow as he kissed his beloved and continued to rock both of their bodies with hard, jolting thrusts.

During the days of his sexual subroutine he had been able to hold off orgasms by choice but ever since he’d fallen in love with Kristen and the subroutine had been replaced by instinctual drives, he had far less control when it came to receiving pleasure. He hadn’t anticipated how bending her into this position might affect him – he’d been too sidetracked by the need to kiss her. He managed a final series of deep thrusts and then he was moaning into her mouth and shaking subtly as the zenith of pleasure careened inside the whole of his body. Kristen held him close and when she broke that loving kiss, she whispered to him that she loved him and needed him and all of this was as real as it felt. It wasn’t an illusion, wasn’t a tragic dream at all.

Data tried to pull back some to see those beautiful eyes of hers again but she embraced him harder and so he let her do so. He could have forcibly extracted himself from her arms but wouldn’t. She stroked his hair and kissed the side of his face. ‘God, you’re shaking so hard. I hope you’re alright, love. I’ve got you. Don’t worry, I’ve got you,’ she whispered.

He managed to ease her legs down from his shoulders and then he was covering her properly and almost relaxing against her, a sense of peace chasing the orgasm he could still feel. They shared a couple of kisses and then she was nuzzling his face and he returned that affection. She started to turn onto her side and when she did so, he turned with her and then she slowly pulled her arms back and they were face-to-face. He looked into her eyes and saw she was concerned. Kristen stroked his cheek with the backs of her fingers and then she wiped more of his tears away, or at least the tracks of them. Data moved closer to her, resting an arm around her waist.

‘You’re still shaking,’ she whispered, ‘please tell me you’re okay?’

‘I will be,’ he said.

‘But you’re not alright at the moment?’

‘I am about a hundred times better than I was before you walked in here,’ he replied, ‘but I may need more time to fully adjust to you being alive again.’

She sighed and then gave him a small smile. ‘I am very much alive, sweetie,’ she told him.

Data rested his forehead to hers again. ‘I am glad that I am relieved of duty for now so that I can spend as much as is necessary to indulge myself in that fact. Are you sore, Kristen?’

‘Maybe a little but I’m not complaining.’ She nuzzled him again. ‘Will you come and take a shower with me? Some hot water would ease a few of these aches…’

‘Of course.’ 

He kissed her and then he kept his arm around her as he moved them both into a sitting position. Then he lifted her up to carry her as he stood from the bed. She made a soft sound of surprise but she was smiling even more when he checked her expression. In the bathroom he eased her down to her feet and then she stripped off her stockings. When she was in the cubicle, he stepped in to join her as she turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. 

Data cast his gaze over her; dark hair that cascaded down her back, a slender waist, a rounded backside. Her legs were shapely and smooth. There were no joins at her shoulders or hips anymore – she was no cyborg. She was a living, breathing human woman – the one he’d been crazy about for years. He wondered if he might start to weep again but when she turned and guided him closer to her with patient hands, he somehow managed to stay in control.

Kristen circled her arms around his middle and then she rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. ‘Shall we get cleaned up?’ she asked.

Data was indifferent to the suggestion. He had never minded her scent, especially so when it was on him, but if she wanted to be clean then they would proceed. He reached for some soap. It wasn’t the vanilla-scented type she loved, as even that had been removed when he had stored away her personal things, but it would do the job. 

Kristen continued to hold herself to him and so he let her stand like that as he lathered the soap up and then began to wash her back. She giggled softly when he had soaped and rinsed every part of her that was within reach and had told her to step back. Data wasn’t sure what was funny about it but hearing her laughter was akin to hearing angelsong and so he just shook his head incredulously and then watched as she let go of him, giving him access to the front of her body.

There hadn’t been the intention to stay in the shower for long but by the time he had lathered her breasts and become distracted by the feeling of them in his hands, it occurred that they could definitely linger for a while. The bar was discarded and then his soapy hands were cleaning between her legs and she was humming with approval – eyes dark with arousal. ‘Lift me up again,’ she suggested, her tone sultry, ‘I need you.’

Data trailed his hands over her stomach and then put his arms around her waist. ‘I see that you are as insatiable as you used to be,’ he observed.

‘Yes,’ she agreed, ‘funny how I was never like that until we became a couple,’

‘I do not believe it is particularly amusing,’ Data replied, walking her backwards. When her back bumped against the wall tiles, he used a knee to carefully nudge her legs apart. ‘I believe it is a vital eventuality that should be honoured and tended to with sex that is as constant as you can handle,’

‘You sound as though you’re feeling a little better,’ she noted.

‘I feel steadied somewhat and yet I am also still desperately aroused.’ He lifted her up then and as her thighs settled around his hips, he eased himself back inside her with an upward thrust. Kristen clutched at his back, her head on his shoulder, and locked her ankles. ‘We may have to repeat this and repeat it again until I am entirely steadied,’ he added, and then turned his face to hers.

‘Uhnnn…’ she moaned. 

He dropped a kiss on her lips and then he started to move. The need to be hard and frantic had gone now and Data was glad for that. He thrusted into her slowly, continuing to kiss her, and she moaned and clung onto him. The cubicle was dense with steam and the water that rained onto them was hot too. 

Due to the very nature of his being, Data did not experience varying types of hardness when it came to his cock, but he could definitely feel variations in how sensitive his body was. He was either hard or not hard, there was no in-between, but his body could be primed in anticipation for sex or it could be tremulous and raw after a particularly intense coupling. His internal sensors worked so very well with his emotion chip and provided layers of sensation, desire and release. Following what he and Kristen had done already, Data felt well-loved but he also had the appetite for much more. He did not get sore or tired, not even remotely, not ever, though his emotions played a big part in how each part of his body and even his synthetic flesh responded to physical intimacy. 

Considering how Kristen and only Kristen understood that about him and how she and she alone had been a pivotal factor in learning about his sexuality and what he was capable of, he smiled into her kiss and then stroked her tongue with his. Her hands moved to his face and she held them there, kissing him back for a while longer and then breaking it so she could look at him. He continued to thrust into her, watching her expression contort softly at times as he made love to her. When she moaned or whispered his name, he felt his own arousal increase. 

It also occurred to him that if she was not human, he would likely want to do this to her for the rest of the day and the whole night too – a never-ending series of couplings that resulting in climax after climax. Unceasing pleasure. In the shower, in their bed, on the sofa and anywhere else that appealed. But she was fully human again and as such, he knew to be careful with her. It had been a very long time since he’d had to bear that in mind and having to do so again helped him realise even moreso that she _was_ back with him, that she _was_ back from her untimely demise. 

He kept her held up with one strong arm and then his other hand wandered between their bodies so he could stroke her clitoris at the same time as swaying into her. Kristen bit down on her lower lip, a truly erotic sight, and with his fingertips circling and his rhythm precise, she soon screwed her eyes shut and began to gasp and moan with her next orgasm. She got louder as the pleasure intensified and at that, Data thrusted into her harder and they were coming together. His second orgasm was perfect – not as blinding as the previous one but definitely sweeter and more luscious.

Kristen was the one who was shaking all over this time and as soon as it was over and Data was sure they were both done, he moved his hand away, slid his cock from inside her and then he helped her down to her feet. She grasped his shoulders, thighs shuddering, and so he gave her a loving smile and swept her up into his arms. She couldn’t walk right now – her fragile human body was spent. Data took her out of the shower, paused for a moment to wrap them both in soft towels, and then he carried her back into their bedroom and lay her down on the bed.

There, he lay next to her and then they were holding each other. Kristen was definitely worn for the time being. Her eyes were heavy lidded and though she was glowing in post-coital enjoyment, Data could sense the tiredness exuding from her. He took in some of the smaller details of her face – her eyelashes, her freckles, her upturned nose and defined brows. She exhaled and then her soft lips tilted in a warm smile. ‘How are you doing now?’ she tested.

‘It is hard to describe,’ he replied. His hand moved to pull her close and then he gazed for a long moment into the layered chocolate tones of her eyes. ‘Can you tell me why Q brought you back?’

‘He likes to repay his debts,’ she told him.

‘Yes, I know that to be true.’ That much accepted, his thoughts moved on. ‘Can you tell me more about the version of you that is with Lore?’

‘Krysta? Sure.’ She wondered for a few seconds. ‘Well, actually… all I know is that she’s the android part of the cyborg I once was. Her skin looks like yours, but it’s not as golden… if anything, it’s more silvery… and the red eyes are the same. Plus, there’s the white hair that I mentioned. I sort of feel that she’s all of the innocent and playful personality that Lore programmed into me. She’s what he wanted. He might have cared for the real me, but deep down… she’s who he should truly be with. He’ll hopefully accept that. He’ll have to,’

‘So… in Lore having Krysta… I have not lost any genuine facet of who you are?’ he asked.

Kristen shook her head, slowly so. ‘No, Data. I’m complete again,’ she replied, ‘what you have to understand is that her personality was never a true part of me. It was a projection – his fantasy,’

‘I understand,’ he said, and he did. Truly.

She smiled again. ‘So all that’s left now is for us to heal from this,’

‘And plan our wedding,’ he added.

Kristen’s smile increased. She lifted her hand so that he could once again see the engagement ring she wore. ‘It was good of Q to put this back on my finger. He reversed one hell of a lot of pain…’ Then she turned her hand so she could take a look at it herself. Refracted rainbows were cast across her face due to the clarity of the stones. ‘Q isn’t all that bad. Do you remember when I told you so long ago that I wanted to get the chance to know him properly? I’m glad that I gave him that chance. He might be a mischievous little devil but his heart isn’t bad. If he hadn’t interfered with our lives, I would still be dead. He and I are even now, in terms of favours, but I have a soft spot for him. I’ll probably never see him again but that won’t change that I like him.’

Data lifted his hand to hers and held it. Then he kissed the back of it and pressed her palm over his heart. Her smile faded a little but only because she was openly moved by such sweet affection. ‘We are indeed fortunate that he took a liking to you,’ he replied, ‘had I convinced you to stay away from him in full, he would not have developed that fondness and come to your rescue…’

‘Exactly.’ She put both arms around his neck then. ‘I love you…’

Data closed his eyes. ‘I love you too, Kristen.’

_Not more tears, please…_

But he couldn’t help it. He pulled her against his chest and then turned so that she was laid atop him and then he just held her for the longest time – not worrying, only feeling. The impossible had become real and through that incredible process, Data had been gifted with the return of his soul mate. Gratitude sank into his heart and though his eyes continued to spill yellow tears, he didn’t mind them really. The ability to feel at all was what had brought himself and Kristen together in the first place. He would never turn off his emotion chip again, not ever. 

Human emotions were hard to handle at times, but they were worth it. Kristen made it so.

She became so comfortable that her tiredness rose up and then she fell asleep in his arms. Data didn’t turn her onto the bed, he kept her held close. He did not activate his dream program. Instead, he stayed awake all night just so that he could breathe in her scent, indulge in the warm, organic flesh of her body and listen to the flow of her breathing. With one arm around her waist and his other hand playing in the dark tendrils of her hair, he stared up at the ceiling above them and counted almost every beat of her heart. 

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Reviews will let me know if I should update tomorrow or not so please drop me a line :)


	52. Lady Lazarus

Kristen awoke to the scent of coffee the next day. She was smiling even before she opened her eyes, such was the effect it had on her sense of wellbeing. When she did open her eyes, she saw that Data was dressed already and had brought her a cup of her favourite drink whilst she was still reclined in their bed. It sat steaming on the bedside table. He sat there by her side, watching her with those amber eyes she loved so much. ‘Good morning,’ he said.

‘Hey there, handsome.’ She stifled a yawn. ‘How long have you been up?’ 

‘Long enough to move all of your belongings out of storage and back in here where they belong,’ he replied, ‘I have put everything back where I originally found it. Our quarters are back to how they used to be.’

Relieved that he had processed her return enough to be able to do that, Kristen sat up and moved over to him, settling on his lap as she had so many times in the past. Data held her close and kissed the side of her face several times, each one firmer than the last. ‘Thank you for doing that,’ she said to him, her head resting on his shoulder. 

He stroked his fingers through her hair. ‘You do not need to thank me. I should not have been so premature in wanting to remove your things. I did not know what to do or how to continue without you in my life and so productivity took over and… I acted too quickly.’ He kissed her temple and then her cheek. ‘For what it is worth, Lore reprimanded me for turning off the emotion chip and for removing your belongings. He and I fought about it. It was… difficult but also necessary.’

Alarmed, Kristen lifted her head and looked him in the eye. ‘You fought?! Again?! Oh, love…’

‘I know,’ Data said, giving her a subtly imploring look, ‘I know that it is not what you would have wanted but emotions were running high between us and they came to the surface in a way that was not ideal,’

‘I’ll say!’ She was stunned. ‘I hope you didn’t hurt each other!’

‘Lore said some things that I needed to hear. Unfortunately, my initial reaction was to throw him onto the glass table that used to be in our dining area. I also knocked out a couple of his teeth.’

‘Bloody hell.’ Kristen looked away from him briefly, her eyes wide. ‘And then what?’

‘I screwed his teeth back into his palate to repair the damage and we talked. We bonded that night, my beloved. It was not all vitriolic. Lore has decided that he would like to try being a brother to me and not through any desire to be manipulative or unkind. We have decided to try and build on all we have been through and make something of our brotherhood. I hope this pleases you.’ Data put his fingers to her chin and turned her head so they were looking at one another again. ‘It would have pleased our creator, not that Lore would care much about that, but does it please you that we have decided to progress beyond our previous difficulties?’

She sighed and then managed a smile. ‘Yes, it does. You two have been opposed for years. I hope there won’t be any more of it. Now that he has his ethical subroutine and Krysta… and now that Q has undone so many of his crimes, you and I will both have to be there for him as he grows beyond what he used to be. Troi has helped him a lot, but… we’re his family.’

Data nodded. ‘Agreed,’ he said.

Kristen kissed him and then she stood from his lap and went to take her coffee. She sipped down a few mouthfuls whilst standing and then she got back onto the bed with it, not wanting to spill any of the hot liquid on herself when still naked. ‘Speaking of Lore and all of these things, I will need to visit with him and Krysta today,’ she said, gathering the covers about herself, ‘and I also need to see the Captain. He asked me to report to him and I’m sure we have much to talk about. I need to see Rob too.’

He reached to stroke some hair back from her eyes. ‘That is acceptable. I am still relieved of duty but that may well change once the Captain knows that all is well now,’

‘Well, we’ll see. Would you be a saint and fetch me a clean uniform?’

Data smiled. ‘You are not on duty either, Kristen. Would you not prefer casual apparel?’

She shook her head. ‘Nope. I’ve been dreaming of getting back into uniform for quite some time,’

‘Then I will bring one to you. Do you require breakfast too?’

‘No, thank you,’

‘Alright. I will be back soon.’

Whilst Data was gone, Kristen savoured her coffee. Spot jumped up on the bed and as soon as she began padding her paws on the covers, she started purring. The sense of contentment that settled into Kristen during these moments was heavenly. She had been given her life back and though the absolute highlight of that was knowing that she and Data were right back where they’d been before she’d been abducted, simple pleasures were wonderful too. Hot coffee, a comfortable bed, Spot’s purring, a clean Starfleet uniform – all of it was blessedly ordinary. She sent another thank you to Q, knowing that he must be getting rather tired of her gratitude by now, and then she smiled to herself. Spot came closer and when she started to nudge her little ginger head against the underside of Kristen’s chin with affection, she couldn’t help but laugh. She loved that little furrball.

Data was bemused when he came back. He laid her uniform out on a nearby chair and then sat down on the end of the bed. 

‘What will you do today?’ Kristen asked him, putting her empty cup down.

‘I have no plans. I expect that I will remain here and wait for you to return,’ he replied.

‘I could be some time,’ she said, giving Spot a cuddle.

‘It is the preferable reality over you not returning to me at all,’ he said, raising pale eyebrows.

Kristen laughed again, even though his words were surely not intended to be funny. She kissed Spot’s head and then she got off the bed and handed the cat over to Data, who took her into his arms and began stroking her. 

Kristen was still smiling as she got dressed. It felt almost ceremonial, putting these clothes on again. She had been wearing her uniform when she had arrived at these rooms yesterday but that had been different – Q had put her in it. Donning her teal undershirt and black-and-grey jumpsuit again of her own choice felt amazing. So did attaching her communicator and pips. She went into the bathroom to continue her preparations for the day. After dragging a brush through the snaggles in her hair, she went to the sink to find her toothbrush. That was when she saw the violet love bites that covered her throat.

Not sure whether to be worried or amused, she returned to the bedroom. ‘Hey,’ she said.

Data looked up from petting Spot. ‘Yes?’

She pointed to her throat. ‘Your vampire act needs to stop.’

He tilted his head. ‘Ah.’

‘Ah indeed. I’m going to get my arse handed to me for this. I have to see the Captain and he’s already warned me once about this sort of thing,’

‘These are unique circumstances,’ Data replied.

‘Yeah… so this is the last time, okay? This is a one-off. You can do that to me anywhere else but not my throat!’ she said, half laughing.

‘I understand,’ he said, with a smile that was tinged with mischief.

Kristen returned to the bathroom, rolling her eyes. She brushed her teeth and then put some make-up on. There was no way she could hide the lovebites. She didn’t own a neck scarf and even if she did, such things were not permitted when one was in uniform. Make-up wouldn’t work either because it would rub off. When she came back to the bedroom, she found her boots and bent over to pull them on.

‘Perhaps I could arrange an evening for us whilst you are gone,’ Data said, watching her.

‘That sounds nice. What are you thinking?’

‘A bath together. Dinner. Champagne. Dessert. An early night.’

Kristen grinned. ‘An early night, huh?’

‘It will not involve a great deal of sleep, should my feelings determine the overall outcome.’ Data put Spot down then, stood and came over to her. Kristen looked up at him as he put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. ‘Unless you require more time to recover from last night, my beloved? If that is so, then I can wait for you.’ He smiled a little, likely oblivious to how seductive those words sounded. ‘Do you need more time?’

She bit her lip and then released it as she put her arms around his neck. ‘I’m not part-machine anymore but I’m sure I can still be pretty enduring.’ Then she giggled and rolled her eyes at herself. ‘Enduring is not the right word. I mean that…’

‘I understand,’ Data said, and then he lifted her up in his arms and kissed her, full and on the mouth.

The true Kristen had never not been in love with him, if one discounted the earliest days of their friendship. As she was right now, she had never been more infatuated with the android that had changed her life, her mind, her heart. She kissed him for a long time and then she broke it so she could see his golden gaze. ‘So,’ she said, as he placed her back on her feet, ‘I’ll go and do what I need to… and then I’ll come back here and we’ll have a perfect date-night, yes?’

He frowned a little. ‘What is a “date night”? I am unfamiliar with the term,’ he said.

‘It’s something couples do. How can you not know that?’ She stroked his cheek with her hand. ‘Then again, we didn’t really have time to put it into practise, did we? A date night is… well it’s when a couple go on a date, even though they’re already together,’

‘If I am interpreting the meaning correctly, I understand it to be an extension of courtship rituals,’ he said, ‘a continuation of dating within an established relationship? Time spent alone to enjoy one another. Intimacy and mutual indulgence in shared sentimentality and love. I can certainly see the appeal. We should have several date nights per week. Would you like that?’

She beamed a brightsome smile. ‘As long as we’re together, I’m the happiest girl in the universe,’ she replied.

Data smiled back at her and then he leaned in and kissed her. ‘I will prepare for it,’ he said, when their lips parted, ‘and I look forward to hearing all about your day. Please inform the Captain that I am alright and pass on my regards to my brother and Krysta.’

Kristen didn’t want to let go of him, didn’t want to leave yet, but she knew that the sooner she did so the sooner she could come back. ‘I will,’ she said, ‘I love you, sweetheart.’

He closed his eyes briefly and then opened them again, replete with contentment. ‘I love you also.’

* 

The _Enterprise_ had reached the Terran system by the time Kristen was back in Captain Picard’s ready room. He informed her on that as he fetched himself some tea and her some coffee from the replicator. 

‘It’s probably for the best,’ she said, as she accepted her cup from him, ‘Robert needs to go home,’

‘He also needs to inform your family that you are no longer a cyborg,’ Picard replied. He sat down at the opposite side of the desk. 

‘Hmm.’ She didn’t want to think too much about that right now. She’d been estranged from her parents since she’d come to be assigned to this ship and had admitted that she was friends with an android. Her other brother Jason was a whole other matter, given that even Robert was not okay with him. Who even knew where he was. She wanted for Katie and Brinn to know she was alright, that everything was alright now, but the rest of it was complicated. ‘I’m sure that Rob will know what to say and do,’ she added, knowing she’d drifted on a tide of thought for a while, ‘he seems to be the only Harper who has their head fully screwed on. I don’t know what I’d do without him, really.’

Picard gave her a brief smile. ‘I invited him to breakfast this morning, at Beverly’s quarters,’ he revealed.

‘Oh?’ She sipped some coffee. 

‘Deanna joined us also. I thought it might be wise to have her expertise to hand.’

She nodded. ‘Is he alright? He was rather nonplussed yesterday, not that I can blame him,’

‘He remains nonplussed. As do I. As do the majority of my senior staff.’ Picard inhaled as he frowned slightly and then he released the breath in a contemplative sigh. ‘That’s not to say that there is any permanent damage or confusion. The facts are at hand, after all, and the truth can be healing. It’s not the first time that Q has intervened and made the impossible possible. Thankfully, this time he proved to be as benevolent as he said he would be,’ 

‘I think so too,’

‘I’m still wondering about it. He and I will never fully understand one another. But that is between us. What matters the most to me is yourself, your brother and Commander Data. And also Lore and the android version of yourself that I saw materialise in the morgue.’

Kristen placed her cup down. ‘Can I speak freely?’

‘I think you had better, given the matters at hand.’ He actually laughed a little. She wasn’t used to hearing her Captain laugh but as it wasn’t dry or overly ironic, she was glad for it. 

‘Alright,’ she said, smiling. ‘I can tell you that I’m fine. Better than ever, really. Not only am I fully human again, I’m also happy. Data is happy too. Last night was… well, it was obviously rather a lot for him to take in but we got there eventually. He and I are in a good place. We picked up where we left off, quite literally. We still want you to oversee our wedding when the time comes.’

Picard sat back in his chair. ‘Nothing would make me happier. I wanted to oversee the Riker-Troi wedding, but Will has asked me to be best man instead.’

Kristen felt a touch of guilt over the fact those festivities had been postponed. ‘They’ve waited so long for that… how is Will?’

‘He and his ship will be joining us in orbit over the next twenty-four hours so he can retrieve his intended,’ Picard replied, ‘and he’s in good spirits. We spoke last night. He’s shocked at what has occurred but we have to allow him that much,’

‘How does Deanna feel about terminating Lore’s therapy?’ she asked, ‘I can only assume that it’s over now if she’s leaving. She has a life and a future and a career to go back to and Lore has a future of his own that’s mapped-out. Or will be soon, when he settles into what fate has given him.’

Picard picked up his Earl-Grey and swallowed some. ‘Is that how we see Q now? As fate?’

Kristen tilted her head, musing. ‘Sir, I really don’t know. But he pulls the same strings as Lady Luck,’

‘He does... when it appeases him.’

They shared a small smile. ‘What of Lore?’ Kristen reminded.

‘It’s complicated, of course, and we do need to examine that. Once your brother had excused himself this morning and left Deanna, Beverly and I to talk alone, we weighed the situation up for a long time. We have long-acknowledged his ethical subroutine and the fact that it deprives him of the ability to be violent or harbour any criminal intention. His anger management and therapy sessions have aided his moral evolution also. Deanna is impressed with his progress and has developed an unlikely sympathy for his life story. She wants the very best for him just as she wants for him to become more than he used to be and even more than he is right now. The fact that Q has resurrected Yates, Jijesh, Jones and Sarrott… well, it puts us in a very unusual position.’

Kristen wondered how her colleagues were doing, how they were adapting to being resurrected. She wouldn’t ask yet, though. ‘What do you opine?’ she asked.

‘We still cannot imprison Lore for what he did before this most recent series of events. He is still guilty of murder, but…’ Picard looked into his tea. ‘I feel that he has changed. He was incapable of feeling guilty before but I have been aware of the fact that he can feel it now, that he can articulate how selfishness or mindless ambition can negatively impact others and also himself. He has expressed regret for many of his previous transgressions,’ 

‘He also wants to be there for Data. He wants to try and be a brother to him,’

‘Excellent. As there is no prison in the universe that could hold him and no true course of justice that could try him for what he did so many years ago, all I can conclude is that he will continue to be held on this ship. He will become a civilian. As will your android counterpart.’ He looked up then. ‘What are your thoughts on that, Harper?’

She was in agreement. The progression of herself and Data co-existing with Lore and Krysta might be difficult at times but she wanted to be there for them both. ‘Honestly? I’m happy to be there for both of them in whatever capacity they need me. I just want to help.’

Picard smiled. ‘You sound like your old self again.’

She smiled back at him. ‘I hope so. I feel like me,’

‘What would you say to some shore leave? Your brother felt that he should take you with him, when he returns to Zagreb. He would like Data to join you. I would be happy to give you both a holiday so that you can continue to mend your wounds.’

That much was unexpected. ‘I haven’t even returned to duty yet…’ Kristen said.

‘I’m not convinced that I would like you to return to your professional commitments without some vacation time. You have been alive again for less than twenty-four hours, Harper,’ Picard said.

She thought about it then as she sipped her coffee – time with her family, time with Data. It did sound good.

‘Also,’ he added, ‘Will told me some time ago that he would like for the first marriage ceremony between himself and Deanna to take place in Alaska, where he was born, and I’m sure that is still what he wants. All of us are invited. We are in the Terran system already. It seems obvious to me that you and Data should holiday whilst the arrangements are made. Then we can all attend the service. Once we return to the _Enterprise_ we can observe whatever missions Starfleet puts to us until the ceremony on Betazed is arranged.’ He gave her another smile then, a warmer one than that of before. ‘And then we can discuss and arrange what you and Data would like, in terms of a matrimonial function. After that… well, the sky’s the limit.’

Kristen was on cloud nine. It all sounded brilliant. ‘Thank you, Sir,’ she said, ‘I’m on board with every bit of it.’

He rapped his knuckles on the table and smiled. ‘In the meantime,’ he said, ‘I think that all of us could appreciate some downtime. Yourself and Data will go with your brother. Deanna will return to Will. I will accompany them, along with Beverly. Lore and your counterpart will be granted sanctuary under specific security conditions… and everyone else can decide for themselves as to what they will do with upcoming weeks.’

She nodded. ‘Thank you,’ she said. 

Kristen felt so blessed at that moment, so incredibly fortunate, that she almost wanted to jump up and give her Captain a hug. She would never do that, of course, but she couldn’t help but consider everything he had ever done for her. It wasn’t just about shore leave and wedding plans, it was also about the fact he had comforted and nurtured her when she had been a heartbroken cyborg. He had encouraged her and held her when she’d been stricken with confusion and grief. And even before that, he had promoted her in the field and tended to her burgeoning career like a patient gardener who watered an immature sapling. He’d put her where she was now and she’d never forget it. 

‘Thank you,’ she said again, ‘for… so much, Sir. It’s been an honour to serve you and I hope that when we all return to work, I’ll-’

‘Understood,’ he said, with a brief wave of his hand. ‘We’re friends as well as colleagues, Harper, and I accept your thanks. Let us progress now. Let us order our personal attachments and then return to order with strength and resilience. I look forward to it.’

Kristen took that in and felt her respect for him double, if not treble. ‘Yes Sir,’ she said, ‘me too.’

‘Now, I think it might be wise that you visit with Robert and then Lore. We can check in with one another tomorrow?’

She stood up from the desk and pushed her chair under it. ‘Yes.’ She smiled at him. ‘I’ll come to you. Thanks.’

He looked away from her then and Kristen thought she was dismissed. But then, just before the doors opened he spoke again. ‘Harper?’

She turned. ‘Sir?’

‘Please do something about those marks on your neck,’ he intoned.

She’d expected this. Her cheeks heated with a blush all the same. ‘I will, Captain. I’m sorry. Last night was a bit, um, hectic… well, what I mean to say is that it was-’

‘I’d rather you spare me the details,’ he said, ‘and though I’m not about to admonish you, I do feel the need to point out that we have discussed this sort of thing before. I understand that the events of yesterday must have been rather… emotional… for yourself and Mr Data but I really would rather that we never have to deal with such matters again. Do you understand?’

‘Yes Sir.’

He smiled at her then. ‘Dismissed.’

She left the ready room both embarrassed and excited for the other things they’d discussed. Her next port of call was to see how her brother was doing and so she crossed the bridge and entered a turbolift. She couldn’t wait to tell Robert that she and Data would be returning to Earth with him and that they’d get some time together somewhere where duty wouldn’t come into play. She asked for the lift to take her to correct deck and then she was on her way.

*

Robert was already collecting his belongings when Kristen visited with him. He was conversational too and so she sat on the desk in his bedroom area and listened as he vented his feelings. The fact that she was back, that she was alive again, was his priority and though he remained hateful towards Lore and deeply confused about Krysta and who and what she was, he was content to take things as they were. When Kristen finally managed to get a word in and told Robert that Captain Picard had granted herself and Data and the rest of the _Enterprise’s_ compliment some shore leave, he paused in his packing and came to her. 

Taking her hands, he stood front of her and smiled. ‘This is great! How long can you visit with us?’ he asked.

‘It’s not exact but we can stay until Captain Riker and Counselor Troi require us for the first of their wedding ceremonies,’ Kristen replied, squeezing his hands in hers.

‘Sounds good to me,’ he replied, ‘whilst we holiday together, we can heal, right?’

‘We can do whatever you need to,’ Kristen replied.

‘We all need it, kid,’

‘I agree.’

She helped him with the rest of his packing and when they’d shared a light lunch together, she asked him how he would find the words to update their parents on what had become of her. Robert considered that question and carefully so. ‘The last time I spoke to Mum, I told her that you had been kidnapped and turned into a cyborg,’ he said, ‘I can barely imagine how she must have broken that news to Dad. When I tell them that you died… and then were revived and split into two separate beings, one artificial and one human… well…’

Kristen sat back down at the table. ‘Maybe you could spare them certain details?’

‘I might have to,’

‘It’s been so long since they were a part of my life that I can barely recall how we used to connect. Did we ever truly connect at all?’ she asked.

‘You and Mum had a bond. Or you did when you were a little girl at least.’ Robert sat down too. ‘But Dad… he was a lost cause, wasn’t he? He still is. He was always so set in his ways. He’s irretrievable.’

She thought about what had been revealed about Lore and their Father. The paintings. The violence. How Lore regretted that violence. It was too much. She couldn’t mention it for Robert already hated Lore, rightfully so, and adding details to the mix would only deepen the bitterness. She rested her elbow on the table and then her chin in her hand. ‘So ironic,’ she said, ‘that I was reared by a man who was poisoned by even the idea of artificial life… and that I should end up engaged to an android.’

Robert laughed. ‘It’s like a sci-fi fairytale,’ he said.

She almost laughed but then just smiled instead. ‘I don’t know about that…’

‘I do… and I also think you’ll get your happy-ever-after,’ he replied.

‘You think?’

He nodded. ‘Yes. Data might be an android but he’s more than that and we both know it. I care about him. He’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t want you to be with anyone else. I see him as a sort of brother already. At this point, I have more loyalty towards him than I do towards Dad.’

Kristen couldn’t help but go to her brother and give him a hug. ‘I’d never ask you to pick a side,’ she told him, as he stood to hold her in return, ‘but to know that you care about Data and support our relationship this much means the world to me,’

‘I’ll always support you, kid,’ he said. He pulled back from the hug and rested his hands on her shoulders. ‘I always have. I know we had that gap where we didn’t speak for several years but we both had some stuff to process. We were growing up and figuring ourselves out. The way I feel right now… well, we need to always be there for each other. I’ve got Katie and Brinn and you’ve got Data but when it comes to blood – we’re a family of two. Let’s make sure it stays solid, alright?’

She nodded. ‘I promise.’

Robert gave her a warm smile. ‘I promise you too. Come and let me know when we’re leaving the ship and we’ll go back to Zagreb and get some rest.’

She hugged him again and smiled into his shoulder. ‘I will.’ Then she moved over to the doors to his quarters. They opened and she hesitated for a moment there. ‘See you soon?’

He nodded. ‘Yes. Be good, little sister.’

* 

Kristen decided to visit sickbay next. Doctor Crusher was absent, apparently attending a rehearsal with her theatre group, and so it was Nurse Ogowa who helped with healing the love bites. Kristen remained embarrassed, especially when Alyssa teased her good-naturedly, and as soon as it was over she was rather glad to be out of there. 

Half of the day was gone already and now she needed to go to Lore and Krysta to see how they were doing. On her way to his rooms, she realised she was a little bit nervous about what she might find there. Lore had been understandably confused and upset the last time she’d seen him and as for Krysta, well, she was an entirely new being in every possible regard. She was devoted to Lore, even before she’d been taken to him, and was naïve and needy enough to likely be annoying to someone with his sort of temper and mercurial moods. Kristen hoped they had managed to bond. She knew in her heart that they were meant to be together, that they were perfect for one another, but that didn’t mean that the initial stages would be easy or simple. Love was rarely a stable or uncomplicated course to traverse, even when fate was on your side.

At his door, she signalled. There was a wait and then Lore appeared. He looked surprised to see Kristen at first and then he gave her a smile.

‘Hi,’ she said, ‘how are you doing?’

‘I’m alright. You?’

‘I’m good. I was hoping to come in and visit with you for a while…’

‘Sure, come in.’ He stood to the side. 

Kristen entered and looked around. Everything was tidy, not a thing out of place. Krysta was sitting on the floor near a small table and had some playing cards in her hand. She studied them for a moment longer and then she looked up and smiled. ‘Hello!’ she said.

‘Hi.’ Kristen went over to her… sister? Twin? Mechanical clone? Nothing seemed to fit exactly. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked.

‘My keeper is teaching me to play card games.’

Lore moved to Kristen’s side. ‘I keep telling her not to call me that but she’s surprisingly wilful about the things that mean a lot to her. Do you want some coffee?’

‘Yes please.’

Whilst he went to the replicator, Kristen went to sit on the floor near the table. Krysta put her cards down and they considered one another. So many impossible things had fallen into place when Q had rocked the fabric of the universe with his miracle and one of those things was how the two women felt about one another. There was a connection between them that was so strong that it was unbreakable. Kristen felt protective over Krysta, that she would nurture her and love her as much as she could whenever they were together and in return, Krysta felt much the same about her, if not moreso. It was as though they’d been in this situation for an unbelievable amount of time instead of less than two days. Should Krysta ever need her, for anything at all, Kristen knew she would fight tooth and nail to be there for her. 

‘How are you, Krysta?’ she asked.

‘I am functioning within normal parameters,’ was the smiling response.

Lore put Kristen’s coffee down on the table and then he sat with them. ‘I’ve been trying to tweak her behaviour a little,’ he admitted.

‘Oh? Already?’ Kristen was curious. ‘What is it you want to change?’

‘Well…’ He looked at Krysta for a long moment and then he sighed. 

‘You know you can be honest with me,’ Kristen encouraged, ‘or you should know that. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ll always be close.’

Lore turned his citrine gaze to her. ‘She’s not you,’ he said.

If Krysta was bothered by that heartfelt and rather tragic admission, she didn’t show it. She started to look at her cards again, not at all wounded or offended or even jealous. Kristen watched her albino self as she hummed and played and then she faced Lore again, her brows creasing with open concern. ‘Tweaking her behaviour won’t turn her into me,’ she said, ‘and you’re going to have to let go of that. Things are how they are meant to be now. This arrangement is the best outcome for everyone involved, even you.’

‘I know.’ He shrugged. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I do love Krysta. I can’t help feeling anything but love for any version of you the universe throws at me… and I fully intend to keep her and take care of her and let her into my heart, but…’ He thought for a moment. ‘I just need time.’

Kristen nodded. ‘That makes sense. It’s alright. Given that you two can never die, you’ll have an eternity to figure things out.’ She picked up her coffee and blew over it. ‘What is it you’ve been specifically trying to tweak?’

‘The servile stuff. All that “I do what you want me to and when you tell me to do it” crap,’ he explained, ‘I’m almost embarrassed that I used to need to hear that sort of thing. I don’t want her to refer to me as her keeper. As much as I do get a kick out of her needing me so much, I think I’d find it easier if we were interacting like equals instead of keeper and pet.’

Krysta looked up. ‘I like the ace of hearts,’ she said, ‘that’s my favourite card. It is pretty. Hearts are red and they are pretty.’

Lore gave her a smile and then it faded. ‘See? She’s a triumph of computing and engineering but she’s also rather… simple.’

Again, Krysta didn’t show any offence. She just kept playing with the cards, her red eyes luminous as she examined them.

‘Has it occurred to you how new she is?’ Kristen asked, sipping her coffee. ‘You must have been pretty simple when you were transitioning into sentience. Look at who you are now compared to who you were then. You’ve come a long, long way.’

Lore was quiet for a while. Kristen knew what he was thinking – that when he’d been newly activated he hadn’t had much support at all. He’d been forced to mingle with colonists who hated him. His emotions had been confusing and he’d been alone. That was one of the reasons why his emotions had twisted and turned so dark. Eventually, he nodded his head, as though coming to terms with something. ‘Well,’ he said, ‘I guess that puts some perspective on it all. Are you suggesting that if I’m patient with her, she might eventually be more like… you?’

‘Not exactly. All I’m saying is that she needs time too.’ Kristen put her cup down. ‘But I don’t see anything wrong with you trying to communicate to her that you want her to be more than some sort of pet someday. Right now, that status is perhaps giving her a sense of belonging, of being safe. She clearly looks up to you and needs your approval to feel level and secure. Don’t try to take that away from her so soon. As time goes on, she will flourish. She might become more like me or she might be different. What matters is that you take your time in getting to know each other. Be patient, like you said, and let things develop of their own accord. She’ll never leave you, you know that much, and I can tell that you’ll never leave her.’

Lore looked to Krysta again. Whilst she put a card to her mouth and began to nibble on the corner of it, he put his hand to her hair and stroked her there, watching his fingers as they moved through the silvery strands. ‘She’s adorable,’ he said, ‘and I do love her, Kris,’

‘I can tell.’ Kristen smiled.

But then he turned his gaze to her once more. ‘And I still love you. I always will.’

Kristen held that infatuated gaze for a moment and then she looked up at the ceiling. The silence this time was awkward. 

‘I’m sorry, alright?’ he said, ‘unlike Data, I’m not in the habit of switching my feelings on and off,’

‘It’s okay. I do love you too, just… not in a romantic way,’ Kristen replied, somehow managing to look at him again. 

‘I get it. That’s why I’ve been given a consolation prize. She’s a sublime one too – she’s sweet and devoted and she looks exactly like you.’ Lore moved his hand from Krysta’s head and then he leaned his back against the wall that was just behind him. ‘I’m not going to obsess over it or try to make you feel bad. The last thing I want to do is put you through any more pain. Your place is with Data. I know it to be true. You’re his. You always were, deep down,’

‘I do still love you but it’s platonic,’ she insisted, meaning it, ‘you’ll just have to try and see me as a sister-in-law instead of a…’

‘An ex-girlfriend?’

‘Not exactly. The me I am now was never with you, Lore. It’s Krysta who was and still is madly in love with you.’

Lore gave a brittle smile. ‘It really is over between us, isn’t it?’

‘It never began and so it can’t end,’ Kristen replied. 

He nodded. ‘Sure. You’re right.’ He exhaled a slightly shaky breath. ‘If I ever make you feel uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to tell me. I’ll try not to talk about those feelings. I don’t want to make you feel bad. I am going to try as hard as I can to come to terms with all of this madness. As I keep saying… I really do just need time. Who knows, maybe a year from now everything will be different. Krysta might be more confident and capable. I might have managed to help her evolve and she and I might have an even stronger love than the one we… well, the one we never had. It might work out for us in the way I need it to.’

Kristen smiled a little. ‘I know it’ll work out. It’s frustrating really because I have no way to prove that to you… it’s just a fact that’s in my heart. I look at the two of you together and I see a future. I see a fated sort of relationship. I wouldn’t say these things if I didn’t mean it. It’s vague and sounds ridiculously optimistic but I _know_ that you two will be just fine.’

Lore reached for her hand and Kristen let him take it. ‘I’ll be stoical and patient,’ he told her, serious in his quiet conviction, ‘and I give you my word that I’ll protect her and nurture her. Krysta is my life now. We have a lot of work cut out for us but… if you’re so sure that it’ll be alright, I’ll persevere.’

She squeezed his hand. ‘I want to thank you for something,’ she said.

‘Hmm?’

‘Thank you for being there for Data.’

He rolled his eyes and then smiled. ‘It’s what you would have wanted.’

Kristen let go of his hand. ‘It is. So thank you.’

Lore laughed a little and then he put his hand to his solar plexus and rubbed himself there. ‘I’m feeling so much right now, I almost feel sick…’ He took a deep breath. Kristen could feel that he was in a deeply emotional state, even though he was doing a pretty fine job of keeping himself together. ‘I spent the entirety of last night thinking about this whole situation. About you. About Krysta. About Data. Whether we like it or not, we’ve become a sort of… family,’

‘Well, Data and I talked about that too… and we _do_ like it, Lore. We’re both here for both of you,’ she replied.

‘I do want to be in Data’s life… and yours. I’m not saying it’ll be perfect. I mean, I doubt we’ll be the picture of the ideal family… but we’re bound by all of this and so much more.’

Kristen nodded. ‘We are.’ She realised that she too was starting to feel more than a little emotional. Her thoughts and reflections were multiplying very quickly. ‘Considering that Data and I can never have children, we’re going to need you and Krysta. I have my brother Robert and his family too but they’re on Earth and we’re all here on the _Enterprise_. Rob and Katie will never know what it’s like to be in love with someone who can’t give you kids. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fully prepared to let go of that so that I can be with Data forever, but… it is sad that... you know… we can never have children.’

He had probed her about this during the interrogations and more and so he knew how deep all of this ran inside her. Watching her with genuine sympathy in his eyes, he started to frown. ‘Are you alright?’ he asked.

She attempted a smile. ‘I really am. It was just that talk about family… it set me off.’

Lore remained concerned. ‘You won’t need kids to be happy,’ he told her, ‘let Data adopt a hundred more cats and you can become the Crazy Cat Couple.’

His attempt at humour made her relax somewhat. ‘I’m sure that’s exactly what will happen,’ she replied. Then she took a breath and released it. ‘Anyway… enough about all that. It’s depressing and we’ve had enough darkness to contend with already,’

‘Whatever you need,’ he replied. His eyes veered towards Krysta again then and when he saw she was now eating the card in her hand, he pulled it away. ‘Don’t do that,’ he said, with only subtle annoyance, ‘playing cards are not for eating. You don’t even need to eat, you silly girl.’

Krysta stuck her tongue out at him.

He rolled his eyes and looked back to Kristen. ‘I have my work cut out for me with this one,’ he said.

She laughed softly. ‘You’re no walk in the park either, Soong,’ she replied. Then she got to her feet and stood there, her arms folded as she watched her android twin. ‘She’s going to take good care of you, once she knows where she is in the universe. She’ll never leave you, never let you down.’

Lore stood too, sensing she’d be going soon. ‘Given some of the things I’ve done in the past, I’m damned lucky I was given her at all. I’ve never even met Q. I’m not sure how he could take a look inside me and decide to grant me such a generous chance…’

‘You and he have a few things in common,’ Kristen said, ‘and I won’t start with your faults. You’re both intelligent and canny, you’re both good at seeing people, you’ve both been misjudged at times. You’ve both managed to improve upon yourselves. You’ve both achieved a level of redemption via a demonstrated moral evolution. I imagine that Q took a look at you and saw a sort of kindred spirit, to some extent,’

‘Yeah… either that or he just felt sorry for me.’

Kristen might have told him not to be such a martyr, if it was not so clear that genuine vulnerability thrived beneath his calm exterior. ‘I doubt it,’ she replied, ‘and anyway, it doesn’t matter now. You and I both have been given a second chance at life. I’m back from the dead and you’re back from the brink. Let’s make the most of it, alright?’

He gave her one of his slightly arrogant smiles but then it seemed that he caught himself for it faded quickly.

‘Did you just stop yourself from being sarcastic?’ she asked, as they moved to the doors.

‘You can still read me like a book it seems,’ he replied, ‘I think you always have me at a disadvantage in one way or another.’

She looked to Krysta. ‘Cheerio! I’m off now. I’ll see you soon, alright?’

Krysta was chewing on the two of hearts. ‘Bye, Kristen!’ she called, waving merrily, ‘bye!’

Out in the corridor, Lore leaned against the closed doors in that way he had. Kristen looked up at him, at those citrine eyes, the pale brows above them and that slightly tilted mouth. A moment of silence passed and it seemed that now they were about to say their farewells, neither one of them knew how to begin. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t see each other pretty much every day from now on, or at least when she and Data returned from Zagreb, but the mood was unusual all the same. They’d been through one hell of a ride together and now everything had changed – again. The past was the present and yet she knew he hadn’t yet let go of so much that had been erased. Being alone with him was strange, even though they were in a corridor where anyone could walk by. 

‘Well, Lady Lazarus,’ Lore said, another well-timed joke, ‘I’d ask you for a kiss goodbye but I know you’d shoot me down.’

Kristen felt sympathy touch her smile. It wasn’t his fault that he had these feelings. She wished she could change it, that Q had taken away Lore’s love for her, but there was nothing she could do about it beyond being firm about the fact that she no longer reciprocated that kind of affection. ‘You said you wouldn’t make it weird,’ she pointed out, slightly awkward.

‘Alright, let me try again,’ he said, ‘thanks for checking in with us today. I know you’d probably rather be with Data or your brother. I appreciate you visiting. It’s been the highlight of my day.’

She was warmed by his words this time for they had dissolved the awkwardness. ‘I’m here for you. I always will be. Data feels the same way. We’re family.’

Lore nodded, his eyes thoughtful. ‘I’d say that I’m here for you too but I doubt I’d have much to offer. I tend to be better equipped at fucking everything up. It’s sort of a skill I’ve developed over the years. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, Kris?’

She laughed a little. ‘I think it’s time you stopped being so hard on yourself,’

‘Maybe. Maybe not,’ he said.

‘You comforted Data, in your own way, and I know he appreciated it. It means a lot to me and I know it meant the same to him,’ she reminded.

‘It’s time that I acted like a brother instead of his worst nightmare,’ Lore said, with a shrug.

‘Nothing would make me happier than you two staying on good terms,’

‘Then I’ll make sure it happens,’ he replied.

‘Good. There is something else I need to tell you, by the way,’

‘Enlighten me then,’

‘Whilst we’re in the Terran system, Data and I will be heading back home with my brother for a while. The Captain felt that some shore leave was in order and I must admit I could do with a rest,’ she said.

‘For how long?’ Lore asked, his eyebrows crashing together.

‘It’ll be for a while, I should think. We’re going to attend the Riker-Troi wedding after our break too…’

He was visibly disheartened by that. ‘Oh.’

‘You won’t be left on your own this time,’ she told him, ‘you have Krysta… and if you need Data or myself, we’ll only be a comm-link away. We wouldn’t leave you without a way to contact either of us. We’ll check in with you.’

Disappointment warred with neediness in his expression but before he made the conversation awkward again, Lore managed to regain a degree of composure. ‘Sure. Fine,’ he said.

‘Make it work,’ she implored him, ‘use this time to explore what you and Krysta have. She’s the girl who used to play games with you, the one who used to turn cartwheels and ask you to sing to her. She’s the girl that sang ‘You Are My Sunshine’ to you when you were feeling blue. I know she’s the girl who lived for your approval and was shattered inside when you were hurting or confused or feeling adrift. Only I could know that. She was once a big part of me.’

His face was etched with a thousand memories then. She could see them in his eyes. ‘Kris…’

She watched him for a moment and then she decided it was definitely time she got on her way. ‘I need to go,’ she said.

Lore straightened, moving away from the doors. ‘Wait a second,’ he said.

‘What is it?’

‘I just…’ He frowned again, frustrated with himself. ‘I’ll use the time you and Data are away to get closer to Krysta. I promise I will… and I know that when she sings that song and when she does her silly dances and initiates the playing of games it’ll help me heal. I’ll let her in, Kris. Just like I let you in. I never meant to let you in but I’ll let her into my heart without trying to fight it. She’s already in there, really.’

She nodded. She was moved but didn’t want to add to the poignancy. ‘Good.’

They shared a long look. ‘Yes…’ he said.

‘Alright, I really do need to go back to my quarters now,’ Kristen said.

Lore lifted a hand and stroked it slowly through his hair. He sighed too, pained.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked.

‘Would it make it weird if I asked for a hug?’ he returned. If Lore could blush, he’d be vermillion at that moment. 

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ she replied. 

He gazed at her as he took in that polite rejection. ‘Fine,’ he said and then fell silent.

Kristen knew he needed yet more reassurance. She could never reciprocate the romantic emotions he harboured for her. Her heart belonged to Data. It always had, in the truth of this journey, and it always would. When she looked at Lore now, she saw him as an older brother figure instead of someone she’d been in love with in another reality. All of that love was held in Krysta’s heart now instead of her own. Still, she couldn’t bear to see him suffering and so she moved closer to him and lifted her hands to his face, holding him there in a gentle fashion. 

He looked into her eyes, unblinking. ‘Kris…’ he whispered.

‘Everything is going to be alright,’ she told him, ‘it’s difficult for you right now but the dust is still settling on all of this. You and Krysta are going to make it. Even if it takes weeks or months or years, she’s going to make you whole, Lore, and in a way that I never could. She loves you so much it defies reason. I know that to be true because she’s the part of me that used to live to make you happy. She’ll never leave you. She won’t hurt you or deceive you like the others did. She adores you.’

He covered her hands with his. ‘I wish this could be easier…’ he admitted.

‘It will be. Just take your focus off me and direct it towards her instead. I _swear_ to you that it’ll work out this time. Q is the conductor of the orchestra of the universe and he’s chosen to play your song. Sing it with Krysta, not me,’ she said, ‘and give her flowers and take her dancing too. She’ll love you so completely that someday you’ll look at me and you’ll wonder why you ever wanted what we used to have.’

Tears filled his eyes but he blinked them back. ‘Alright,’ he said, ‘I trust you.’

She dropped her hands from his face then. ‘I’ll see you soon, okay?’

Lore nodded. ‘Take care of that dear brother of mine,’ he said.

‘Are you being sarcastic?’

‘No. I want you to take care of him. I need you to.’

Kristen smiled. ‘I will.’

She turned then and walked away. ‘Kris?’ he said, before she was out of earshot.

‘Yes?’

‘I love you.’

She smiled, but didn’t turn around. ‘I love you too, Lore.’

As she made her way down the corridor, she heard him re-enter his quarters and she was glad for that much. It meant that he wasn’t staring after her, that he wasn’t waiting for her to turn around and come back to him in a way she never wanted to or could. Kristen headed into a turbolift and when the doors closed, she closed her eyes too. She could never dismiss Lore but she genuinely did not feel any romantic attraction towards him whatsoever. Even if she did, she’d work out of her system. Data was who she loved. She’d been infatuated with him for so long now and when she thought about where she belonged, she still could only see his heart as her home. 

Feeling a tingle inside at the thought of being back with him again, she hurried out of the turbolift and then headed down the corridor towards their quarters. When she got there, she was about to head straight inside but then something stopped her.

There was a white rose on the floor and with it, a note.

_Come to the counselling office where we first met, my beloved. Our date begins there._

Kristen smiled to herself. The tingling inside became a rush of butterflies instead. Without hesitation, she headed back down to corridor, holding the rose to her chest.


	53. Love's Immortality

Kristen arrived at the office she’d worked in when she was Troi’s protégé. When she signalled she was there and nobody invited her in, she passed through the doors. Data wasn’t there and that much was an unexpected surprise. Intrigued, she looked around and that was when she saw another rose – a yellow one – on the desk. She went over there and picked it up, inhaling the gorgeous scent of it. There was another note too. Data’s handwriting was perfect copperplate; precise and with automated faultlessness. 

_My beloved. I am sure that you recall the last time I brought you here and that then too I gave you a yellow rose. It was a way to honour where and how we first met. Back when you had first joined the crew of this ship you were assigned just one patient – myself. Fate elected to gift me with someone who began as my therapist, then became my valued confidante and then became my treasured friend. Fate also elected to present me with someone I fell in love with to such an extent that it altered the entire course of my existence._

_In this room, we talked for hours and hours over many months and you became the person who knows me better than anyone else ever could. Thank you for helping me, so long ago now, with my emotional difficulties and for healing me and guiding me into becoming the man I am today. Without you, I am not a complete being. I am just an android who is valued for his abilities and uniqueness. I am a curiosity and my identity is often overlooked in favour of my computational speeds, memory capacity, physical strength or durability. With you, I am loved. I am treated like a human being – something I desired for all of my life before we met and fell in love._

_I love you beyond description and I thank you for everything you have given me._

Kristen’s eyes were brimming with tears. She wished he was there with her so she could hold him and kiss him and thank him in return for all he had given her too. Data seemed to think that he owed her for loving him. Kristen felt that she owed him much more – for being so patient with her when she was still a protégé Counselor, for being even more patient with her during their friendship, for taking care of her so many, many times, for being the perfect boyfriend in every conceivable way and also for being such a sweet and kind man. He wasn’t unique because he was an artificial lifeform; he was unique because of his intrinsic goodness and his gentle heart.

She wiped her tears away and then she realised there was a little bit more to read.

_Please come to TenForward. More awaits you there._

She took the roses and the notes with her as she exited the office and then she was on her way. Throughout the journey to deck ten, Kristen was so dazzled she barely noticed she was walking at all. Nor did she notice the lingering glances of passing officers or civilians who had not seen her since her resurrection. All she could think of was how wonderful Data was and how eternally grateful she felt that they were together again and back on track. 

When she got to the bar, she went in there straight away. Looking around, she didn’t see a hint of moongold skin or amber eyes. He wasn’t here either. Many tables were filled with patrons and people stood drinking at the bar itself but Data was absent. If this was hide-and-seek then he was brilliant at it.

‘I’ve been asked to give you something,’ a voice said.

Turning, she saw Guinan standing there. She was holding a beautiful pink rose. 

‘Hi,’ Kristen said, as she accepted the flower, ‘thanks…’

‘It’s good to see you, Kris. I’m so glad that everything worked out,’ Guinan replied, ‘but we’ll talk about it some other time. I know you’re being swept off your feet right now and I don’t want to get in the way of that. Here, Data wanted me to give you this note too.’

Kristen took it. ‘Thank you.’

Guinan gave her a warm smile and then she headed off to the bar. Kristen sat down at a nearby table and opened the note. 

_My beloved. I will not remind you of the fight we had in the corridor outside of this destination, for we know what occurred, what was said, and the regret we both felt for our words and actions. We discussed it when I brought you here before. Instead, I would prefer for you to reflect on the many enjoyable times we have shared here. Whether it be you attending one of my violin recitals, us having dinner with friends or alone, meeting here for coffee between shifts or simply sitting here to talk, we have shared so much that is and will always be important to me. Spending time with you is preferable to anything else I could imagine. It is what I desire more than anything. Not only are you my girlfriend and my fiancée, you are also my best friend and companion. You are my inspiration, my muse and my soulmate._

_One of my favourite memories, that took place in this room, was when you came to me during the post-trial party. I had been warned to stay away from you, which I did due to not wanting to further complicate your personal life, but you came to me instead. You do not know this but when you made your way through the crowds and came to stand in front of me, I wanted nothing more than to put my arms around you and pull you close to me. I ached to hold you. We were both highly conflicted and yet we were drawn to one another, were we not? We decided to leave TenForward so we could speak in private._

_You know what comes next. Please head to the Captain’s private observation lounge._

Kristen smiled and thought about that party he’d mentioned. Things with Soshi had been extremely difficult at that time and she remembered how confused she’d been as to why Data had not approached her. They had intended to talk but he had left her alone, despite his lingering glances her way from across the room. As always, he’d been trying to make life easier for her. He was selfless to the last. She zoned out for a moment or two as she recalled how Guinan had encouraged her to go to him and then she smiled again at the memory of that look on his face when she did so. Data was right that they had been drawn to one another. 

Her feelings for him had been so confusing, though. Her Father’s hatred of androids had complicated what should have been an easy transition from friendship to love and she had felt so guilty at times. That came skidding to a halt as soon as she realised that Soshi was the one she should have feared and that Data was the one who made her feel safe and cared for. And she had cared for him too – far more than she could admit to herself at that time. Deep down, she had loved him already. It would just take time for that love to flourish.

Kristen got up from the table and left the bar. As she journeyed on, she wished that on the night of their first ever kiss, she had decided to break up with Soshi and then asked Data to be with her instead. It would have looked crazy to outsiders, might have seemed rash and ill-advised but it would have put her in the right place with the right man. But, of course, fate had not designed it that way. She had been hurt terribly by Soshi and then she and Data had co-habited for a few days whilst she healed, they had grown closer than ever and then… they had fallen into synch in the way it had been fated. 

Really, Kristen was grateful for that. Their mutual respect and love had been earned through their trials. That much continued, even to the present day. It seemed there was no obstacle that could come between them – even death.

She went into the observation lounge and once she had picked up the violet-purple rose he’d left on the table, and the note too, she went to stand in the exact spot where she had first kissed him. She inhaled scent from the rose, closing her eyes briefly, and then she looked down at the note and opened it.

_My beloved. We are halfway through this tour of reminiscences now and I hope that it is touching your heart in the way I intended it to. This room was where we had our first kiss. I thought about that kiss a great deal whilst you were deceased, it being such a pivotal moment in our knowing one another. When you were gone from me, I thought about that kiss and so many others we have shared. Come what may, whenever I am in this room I always layer my thoughts so that I can relive the love you showed me along with observing my duties to the ship. I cannot be present in this room without thinking of it constantly; your hands on my face, your eyes gazing into mine with attraction I had only dreamed of, your soft lips._

_I had been kissed before you came into my life but those kisses had not made me feel anything, even when my emotion chip had fused to my neural net. The first time you touched your mouth to mine, I was so moved and I felt so blessed that it almost overwhelmed me. When you left the room in a mild panic, I simply stood there and touched my fingers to my lips. I wondered if I was dreaming but I was not. We had shared something beautiful and real. Thank you for being brave enough to do that and thank you for each and every other time you have kissed me or allowed me to kiss you._

_Please head to the rooms that used to be your personal quarters._

Kristen wondered as to Data’s interpretation of a date night, given how stupendously romantic and heartfelt all of this was. If he wanted to do something like this every time they had planned for a date then she was sure she’d die all over again – of sheer and overwhelmed bliss. She looked down at that note for a long time, brushing her thumb over his written words. Then she thought about when he’d proposed to her. He definitely knew the difference between a regular date and an event that required ceremony and a truly theatrical declaration of love. She wondered where all of this was leading then and though her suspicion was heightening, she was also as swept off her feet as Guinan had said. A lot of people who knew Data could surely never believe the extents of romantic love he was capable.

She thought about something she’d heard him say on occasion – ‘I am designed to exceed human capacity, both mentally and physically.’ Well, that much could definitely be applied to more than his strength and intelligence. Even his way of loving her went above and beyond when she or any other woman she knew had ever experienced. His linear computational speed at sixty trillion operations per second afforded him to think and feel more than any flesh-and-blood man could and the raw power of his emotions was all-encompassing and intense in the best of ways. Kristen felt more tears come to her eyes when she really thought about all of that. He was not unique in that he was an android, Lore was an android too, but Data was unique in that only he could touch her heart with passion and make her soul smoulder with an obsessive sort of love.

It was evening-time when she arrived at her old rooms. The note he’d left, along with a cerise rose, were pinned to the wall. These quarters belonged to someone else now and she would not have been able to go inside. She plucked her gifts from the wall, held the rose to her breast and then opened the note.

_My beloved. Do you remember why I wished to bring you here the previous time I initiated such a sentimental journey? It was because it was here that we made love for the first time. We did share much more than our bodies that night – we became a couple too. You told me you were ready to commence a relationship with me and when you spoke those wonderful words, I experienced a genuine evolution in my emotional capabilities. I was able to feel so much more, Kristen, and I will explain to you exactly what occurred within me :_

_Years ago, an unexpected plasma shock prematurely activated a collection of previously dormant circuits within my neural net. Those circuits of my base programming were meant to be activated when I reached a certain level of development. It afforded me the ability to dream. When you told me that you wanted to be with me; that you wished to be mine and no-one else’s, there was a similar occurrence within the aforementioned base programming. My emotional response to your suggestion activated yet more dormant circuits and I became self-aware and emotionally proficient in ways I could not have achieved in the past._

_Also, my sexuality subroutine was erased. The instinctual drives that replaced them made me capable of experiencing sex without internal directives. It was a liberation. I became a man and you became my treasured other half – my lover, my girlfriend, the woman who held my heart in both hands and kept it safe. The evolution was mutual. We became a united force, an unbreakable team._

_I cannot overlook the sex entirely, however. I know you will allow me that much, my beloved. There is no way I could ever overlook the physically intimate moments we shared that night and on so many occasions since. Our lovemaking is and has always been incredible. When our bodies are connected and I am inside you, I feel more alive than ever. I feel whole and I feel fuelled by desire. Desire is an emotion I have only ever felt towards one woman – you. I could never feel it towards anyone else._

_It does not matter what position we are in, where we choose to indulge in one another, or how much time we spend enjoying carnal pursuits; I am at my most content when we are making love. It is of upmost importance to me. I love your heart and soul and personality more than anything else but your body is precious to me too. Your beautiful face, that which holds such incredibly sweet and expressive eyes and a mouth that makes me feel weak with need, will forever haunt me with the most tender emotions. I adore your pale skin and your freckles. I love your breasts and how you respond when I touch them._

_The sweet delta between your thighs is a distraction to me, I freely admit. I love your arms and how they hold me, your hands and fingers, your vanilla-scented hair and your perfect kisses-_

The letter went on and on in this way; a veritable ode to their sex life. Kristen felt rather embarrassed and realised she was blushing. She’d never been given love letters before and most especially not ones like this! She read on until Data had fully expressed himself on how much he just loved her body and making love to her and then she smiled when she saw he wanted her to come to the Arboretum next. That had been the final place during the last time they’d done this and that meant she’d be seeing him soon. She could not wait to kiss him, to tell him how much he had moved her and how much she loved him too. 

As she headed down the corridor and went into a turbolift, she took another look at the note and wasn’t surprised when her blush increased. To think there had been a time when Data had found difficulty in expressing or articulating his feelings and now he wrote about their lovemaking in such a way that made her feel so hot and undone! She pocketed all of the notes and looked down at her collection of roses as she left the lift and entered the Arboretum. 

A few people were around, either gardening or just enjoying the flowers. A white rose was waiting for her on a bench and so she sat down and lifted it. She had two of those now – one from when she’d started this journey and now this second one. The white roses had bookended this tour around the ship and she loved them most of all. Sighing with happiness, dazed by infatuation, she opened the note that was with it and began to read.

_My beloved Kristen. I offer you a poem this time. I did not write it but there is no doubt that it is yours. I hope you enjoy it._

**She Walks In Beauty by Lord Byron**

_She walks in beauty, like the night_  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that’s best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;  
Thus mellowed to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies. 

_One shade the more, one ray the less,_  
Had half impaired the nameless grace  
Which waves in every raven tress,  
Or softly lightens o’er her face;  
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,  
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place. 

_And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,_  
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,  
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  
But tell of days in goodness spent,  
A mind at peace with all below,  
A heart whose love is innocent. 

Kristen started to cry again. She couldn’t help it. Tears prickled in her eyes and then they ran down her face. She didn’t care that they would make mess up her make-up or if anyone noticed she was close to sobbing. Thankfully, nobody approached her. She wiped her eyes, sniffled and then she read the last little part of the note.

_As soon as you are ready, I would like you to come home to me. As you no doubt suspect, all of this is leading to something significant. I love you._

Kristen stood up from the bench. After wiping her eyes again, she put the note with the others in her pocket and then she got out of the Arboretum as quickly as her legs would carry her. Data clearly had some sort of surprise planned and though she was definitely intrigued about that, she mostly just wanted to be with him. It had been a long and emotional day and she needed him badly, especially after all of this beauty and romance. It took several minutes for her to get to deck nine but as soon as she was there, she sped down the corridor and then she entered their quarters.

Data stood there in the lounge. Like when he’d proposed to her, the place was lit with candles. He had also arranged vases of gorgeous red roses and champagne, with two fluted glasses, sat on the coffee table. There was no music. It was silent. She saw his eyes soften with affection as he moved closer to her. ‘Greetings, Kristen,’ he said.

‘Greetings to you too,’ she replied, putting her roses down, ‘I hope you’re ready for me to kiss your face off. Have you any idea how all of this has-’

‘Wait.’ He held up a hand, cutting her off. ‘As much as I do want to kiss you right now, there is something I must put to you first. Would you mind postponing physical affection until I have done so?’

Her eyebrows shot up. What could he possibly ask? They were already engaged. There was nothing obvious to propose. She was mystified. ‘Well, sure. I’m all yours, Data. You can say or do whatever you want. What’s on your mind?’

Slowly, he got down on one knee. 

_Where the hell is this going?_

*

During his research that day, Data had discovered that other than an engagement ring and a wedding ring, there was another sort of ring that could be presented to a romantic partner. Eternity rings were generally given when a couple had been together for a long time or perhaps after an event such as the birth of a child, but given the circumstances of Kristen’s resurrection from death he felt that it was definitely an occasion that could be marked by such a life-affirming gesture. He had replicated a platinum band that was dotted with small diamonds, one that would complement her engagement ring perfectly. 

Still knelt, he showed Kristen that ring and smiled a little when she gasped. Her eyes widened and she put her hands to her mouth. ‘Are you familiar with the tradition of presenting one’s partner with an eternity ring?’ he asked.

She nodded. ‘Of course, yes, but… aren’t they usually given when you’re married or when you’ve had a kid or something?’

‘I see no reason why we cannot bend convention to our requirements,’ he replied. 

She dropped her hands again. Her eyes glimmered with tears. ‘I suppose you’re right,’ she said.

‘You came back to me from death, Kristen,’ he continued, ‘and now that I have you by my side again I intend to protect you and keep you safe like never before. I will never let you stray too far from me and I will ensure your contentment, your wellbeing and your security forever. By offering you this ring, I am not only trying to give you a gift to commemorate your return, I am also giving you a promise that I will always love you and be with you. I will not let anyone or anything take you away from me again. I intend to marry you and for us to be a solid couple, a team, for eternity.’

Kristen gave him a watery smile. ‘I love you so much,’ she said.

‘I also want you to know that when you do eventually expire, hopefully as an old woman and not through some untimely happenstance, I will deactivate myself also. I will die with you, Kristen. I will ensure that we meet our end together,’

‘Well… wow, I mean…’ She gave a soft sob. ‘That’s so beautiful…’

‘Then you will accept this ring?’

‘Yes.’

He reached for her hand and then slid the ring onto her finger. It looked perfect against the one with the princess-cut sapphire. Then Data stood up and put his hands to Kristen’s waist. She put her hands on his chest and then she rested her forehead there too. He heard another sob and so he embraced her, not at all minding that she was crying with happiness. He kissed her hair and rocked her a little in his arms. 

Eventually, she sighed and then she pulled back and gazed up at him. She had a brighter smile now. ‘You make me so happy,’ she told him.

‘I return the sentiment,’ he replied.

Kristen leaned up then and kissed him. He held her close and returned that kiss; moving his mouth against hers very slowly. She put her hands to his face and then she guided the kiss into more depth. They tongues played a little and she hummed with pleasure. Then she broke that kiss and beamed at him. ‘Mmmm.’

She eyed the champagne nearby then. Looking that way, he let his arms fall from around her and then he took her hand and led her over to the sofa. When she was seated, he took his place next to her and then he opened the bottle. Kristen helped by lifting the glasses so he could fill them and then they were sitting back together in the glow of candlelight. Data didn’t make a toast. There was no need to for he’d said everything that could possibly be said, either in the letters or in his proposal. Kristen moved closer to him and he put his arm around her, holding her close. Neither of them spoke for quite some time. They emptied their glasses, comfortable and content, and then when they were placed on the table, he looked down at her until she returned his gaze.

‘I have some news for you that you’re going to like,’ she said, smiling.

‘Hmm?’

‘Captain Picard has allotted us some shore leave. We’ll be going home with Robert when the time comes and then we’ll be going to the Riker-Troi wedding too. We’ve got some time off. Quite a bit of it, I should think.’

‘That is wonderful.’ He had thought he couldn’t possibly be more uplifted but his spirit soared at that moment. ‘When do we leave?’

‘I don’t know exactly but given that we’re near Earth now, it should be soon.’

Data thought about more time with her family, more time to enjoy Kristen without any distractions. Then he remembered that they’d refrained from sex for an entire month during their previous shore leave and that much made him thoughtful. He very much wanted to be with Robert, Katie and Brinn but he did not like the idea of himself and Kristen having to be so chaste. 

‘I know what you’re thinking,’ she said, with a soft laugh, ‘and we won’t hold off this time. We’ll have to be extremely discreet and quiet but we’ll get the kind of alone time we both need. So don’t worry about it.’

He tilted his head. ‘How did you intuit my line of thought?’

‘I know you,’ she replied, with a light shrug.

It was a certain and delightful truth. Data smiled at her. ‘Please tell me about the rest of your day?’

‘Alright.’ She thought for a moment. ‘The Captain and I talked for quite a while and yes, I did get told off about the lovebites.’

He winced slightly. ‘I apologise, my beloved…’

‘It’s alright. I trust that you won’t do it again.’ She laughed a little. ‘He told me about shore leave and soforth and then I went and stayed with Robert for a while. We had lunch together and I helped him pack his things. Then… I went to visit with Lore and Krysta,’

‘I have not met Krysta yet,’ he said, ‘I am very curious about her,’

‘That’s understandable. You’ll get to meet her soon, love. Anyway… they seem to be getting on pretty well. Lore has some concerns and his feelings are in a bit of a tangle but he knows we’re here for them both and that he has family who will support him,’

‘How did he behave towards you?’ Data asked.

Kristen sighed. ‘He was a bit needy. He told me he wishes Krysta was me. He’s still got strong feelings for me but he didn’t make a pass at me or anything. He didn’t say or do anything that would upset you or worry you… and I told him firmly that it’s Krysta he needs to focus on and that I don’t have romantic inclination towards him. Krysta will heal the mess in his head when he gives her the chance. He told me he loves her already. That’s a bloody good sign, if you ask me.’ She narrowed her eyes a little and then sighed again. ‘They’ll be okay. I know for a fact that Q fixed everything to the extent of where both you and he were given the versions of myself that are correct and best-suited. Lore needs time, that’s all. Even he said that.’

Data considered her, thoughtfully so. He did not like the fact that Lore had mentioned to Kristen that he still loved her but then he figured that such a conversation had been inevitable to some extent. That Kristen had (no doubt, carefully and tactfully) told Lore that she did not reciprocate his romantic affection was appeasing though, as was the apparent fact that he had taken the news bravely and without trying to pressure or manipulate her. Lore really had changed. He changed more and more all the time.

‘We will support him,’ Data echoed, ‘and Krysta too. Does he know we will be leaving the ship for a time?’

‘Yes. He wasn’t made up about it but again… he let it go and accepted it,’ Kristen replied.

Data nodded.

‘And… after my visit with those two, I came back here and found the first rose and first note you left for me. You know the rest.’ She smiled again and it touched the dark colour of her eyes. ‘So that was my day. How was yours?’

He put a hand to her face and stroked her there. ‘Filled with planning,’ he replied, ‘and anticipation for your return.’

Kristen turned more fully to him and then she was moving to kneel up by his side on the sofa. Data watched her and mirrored the smile she gave him with one of his own. She put her hands to his shoulders and then she looked at his lips for a moment before looking back into his eyes. ‘Permission to come aboard, Sir?’ she asked.

‘Permission granted, Lieutenant,’ he replied, amused.

She lifted a leg so she could settle on his lap and Data held her there. Leaning forwards, she kissed him, and he put a hand to her face so he could hold her close. She tasted of champagne; sweet and effervescent. When she ended the kiss and gazed into his eyes, it was clear that she wasn’t thinking about shore leave or their friends and family anymore. ‘It occurs to me that you’ve put one hell of a lot of effort into showing me how loved I am today,’ she said, her smile filled with emotion, ‘and that makes me want to spend the rest of tonight showing you how loved _you_ are, Data.’

He moved his hand from her face so he could stroke it through her hair. Then he pulled her in again and kissed her softly, tasting the champagne again, tasting the happiness of their future. ‘That sounds like a most agreeable way to spend an evening,’ he told her, and then he was shifting to the edge of the sofa so he could keep her in his embrace and walk her through their bedroom at the same time.

Kristen sighed happily when he lay her down on the covers. Joining her, he eased off her boots and then he started to unfasten her uniform and take that off too. ‘I’ll keep those letters you wrote forever, if you don’t mind,’ she said, watching him.

‘I would prefer for you to keep them,’ he replied, ‘and for to keep the additional ones I intend to write. My poetry is not known to be anything more than stylistically accomplished but I think that I stand a good chance at continuing to touch your heart with written impressions of my feelings for you.’

She giggled at his words, perhaps a little flustered, and then she sat up so he could pull her uniform top over and off her head. Her underwear was not as extravagant than that she’d worn the night before and Data found himself considering that as she moved into his arms again and kissed him. He laid Kristen down on her back, settling between her legs and then he began to feel as though he should tell her what he was thinking before they went any further. He didn’t want any distractions at all; even ones that revolved around her and how much he had enjoyed seeing her in rose-coloured fabrics and stockings.

‘What is it?’ she asked, as he looked down at her.

‘I have a request,’ he replied, ‘and I hope it will not come across as selfish or in a way that suggests I prefer you dressed over being undressed…’

Kristen giggled again, her hands stroking at his lower back. ‘You’re cute when you’re being cryptic but I’d prefer a straight response. What is it you want to request?’

Data smiled at her. ‘The lingerie that Q put you in… the bodice and the other accoutrement… it was… well, it was…’

She understood immediately. ‘You liked that, huh?’

‘Very much. But it does not imply that I prefer you dressed, my beloved,’

‘I know that. You really do become more and more human all the time.’ Kristen put the backs of her fingers to his cheek and stroked him there. ‘Before we go back to Earth, why don’t you replicate some things you would like me to wear? I’ll play dress-up with you, if that’s what you want. We could even take the red things I had on last night,’

‘I ripped them,’ he reminded, glad he was incapable of blushing.

Kristen stroked his cheek again. ‘Oh, yes. You did. Well… we’ll stick to the plan then. Think about what you want to see me in and then replicate them. You already know my size. I’ll wear anything you want me to… just as long as you promise me I won’t have them on for too long…’

Data was too wound up by then and couldn’t take any more of this talk. He moved her hand from his face and then he kissed her, his tongue greeting hers instantly. Kristen moaned and then she held onto his back again. They kissed and kissed, bodies moving subtly, mouths moving constantly and then she was tugging at his clothes and they were removing them together. She wanted to be under the covers, she told him, and as he wanted her to always be as comfortable as possible when they were making love, he got her under them and then he settled himself on top of her again and the kissing resumed.

She made a mess of his hair as their tongues duelled. When Data gave her a moment to breathe, words tumbled out of her – all of them touched by gratitude for what he’d done for her that day. It wasn’t about the eternity ring as such, she said, it was more about the thoughtfulness and the devotion and the romance. He gave himself to her physically, unable to respond verbally, and as soon as his hardness was fully inside her Kristen too forgot what she’d been saying and was lost in the sensation of being joined in such a way. She cried out and then she arched herself beneath him. 

Data moved a couple of times, slowly so, and then he kissed her once more and the rhythm between them was in place and heat overrode those initial spikes of pleasure. Kristen brought her thighs up and then she was rocking herself beneath him, sighing, moaning… 

She came so quickly, so hard, that it surprised him. Data pulled back, needing to see her face and her eyes as she gave in to bliss. She was shaking with it and it seemed to be so intense that she looked as though she was in pain. But then it melted away and Kristen was licking her lips before kissing him again and using her hands to guide his hips in more thrusts, more movement…

Pleasure ruled for the rest of the evening and throughout most of the night too. As always, Data was mindful enough to let Kristen rest on occasion but every time they were holding each other close and talking as she breathed and stretched and laughed with happiness, he found himself unable to stop touching her, kissing her, loving her, and so he would begin to suck her breasts again or stroke his fingers between her legs. With every coupling they took back so much of what they had lost and when she finally begged for mercy, spent and glowing and giggling deliriously, he walked her into the bathroom and then washed her clean in the shower. 

Kristen was soothed by the hot water and by the time he brought her back to their bed and 04:00 hours had commenced, she was yawning and asking him to hold her as she slept.

Data activated his dream program too that night. As they rested together, he saw visions of love and family and future. And fate – which though at times was cruel to him, seemed to always provide for him also and replace so much of what he had lost. And also eternity – which was one thing that lovers like himself and Kristen could always count on, regardless of what obstacles fell upon their path.


	54. Family

_My sister and I, you will recollect, were twins, and you know how subtle are the links which bind two souls which are so closely allied - Arthur Conan Doyle_

Despite the fact that Captain Picard had stated that he didn’t want Lieutenant Harper to return to her duties before she’d had some shore leave, she couldn’t resist the urge to go to her office and see what sort of updates Troi might have for her about her patients. Data was back in uniform and ready for duty that morning too and so after he had kissed her and admired the eternity and engagement rings on her finger, he arranged for them to meet for coffee during the mid-afternoon and then they took their time in saying their farewells. She didn’t want to ever be apart from Data but he needed to report to the Captain and her curiosity about the responsibilities she’d left behind so long ago also needed to be sated. Data kissed her again, said goodbye and then when he left for the bridge, Kristen made her way to her office. 

Troi was between appointments but as soon as she saw her old friend come in, she stood up from her seat and the two of them regarded one another with warm smiles. ‘I am so happy to see you,’ Troi said, moving over to her.

‘The feeling is mutual,’ Kristen replied. They hugged, squeezing each other tightly, and then they took a seat on the sofa together. 

‘I know why you’re here,’ Troi said, ‘you want to know how your patients are doing,’

‘Yes. Also, how are you, Deanna?’ Harper put to her.

‘Busy, tired but wonderfully content now that everything is settling down. I’ve been working with Yates, Jijesh, Jones and Yates over the past couple of days but… believe it or not, they don’t require any sort of therapeutic treatment. Like you, they seem to be at peace with what happened. They’re not traumatised or confused. It’s as though they’ve been healed. Your other patients are doing fine, also. When you return from shore leave and from the wedding celebrations for Will and I, you have a nice and ordered routine to get your teeth into. I made sure you would have nothing too critical.’ Troi rested her hands in her lap and smiled again. ‘Yates and the others also want to get straight back to work. If I didn’t sense otherwise, I’d believe that all of you are trying too hard to be professional and brave. But I know you’re not. You’re okay.’

Harper nodded. ‘Better than ever, really. The only thing that worries me is how Lore and Krysta will find their way but even that has promise at such an early stage. Thank you for trying to help him,’

‘You still care for him,’ Troi observed, in a non-judgemental tone.

‘I always will,’ Harper confirmed, ‘I love him still but not like how I used to. I just want him to be alright. He’s had a rough ride in life and it made him a vicious person for the longest time. Still, Lore is trying now and he _wants_ to change. That makes all the difference.’

Troi thought about that and then she looked up again. ‘How is Data? I know that the Captain wanted to see him today…’

‘He’s fine. Really good, actually.’ Harper had often gushed about how happy they made one another in the past but she caught herself this time and forced herself to be less obviously lovesick. She couldn’t help her smile though. ‘We’re looking forward to spending more time with my family during shore leave and looking forward to your wedding also. Well, both of your weddings. Do I really have to be naked at the ceremony on Betazed?’

Troi laughed. ‘Yes, you do. Don’t you dare turn up in dress uniform or casual clothes! My Mother will have you killed if you dishonour our tradition!’ Harper laughed also but then paused when Troi’s eyes suddenly widened. ‘Oh… Kris… what a horrible thing to say! I should not have joked like that… I’m so sorry… I can’t believe I said that!’

Harper started laughing again. ‘I think it might be best that we joke as much as possible about the strangest of the things I’ve been through. I’ve had enough tears and heartbreak to last me several lifetimes. Please, don’t feel bad. Your Mother probably _would_ have me killed if I came to your ceremony fully dressed.’

There was a slightly awkward pause and then Troi relaxed and smiled again. She also noticed the new ring that Harper was wearing. She reached for her hand and admired it. ‘Is this an eternity ring?’

‘Yes. Data gave me it last night,’ Harper replied.

‘It’s beautiful.’ Troi set her hand down again. ‘A long time ago, before Data had emotions, he told me he wanted to get married someday. It took me by surprise back then because I’d just never thought that he would think of those things, that he would want them or consider them. But then we talked about it and he told me he felt he had plenty to offer a potential spouse and I agreed. He was definitely right about that. He’d give you the world… several hundreds of worlds… if he could.’

Harper smiled and also looked down at the ring. ‘He has never once let me down,’ she said.

‘He never will,’ Troi replied, ‘so… are you going to stay for some coffee, or-’

‘Captain Picard to Counselor Harper. Please report to my ready room at your earliest convenience,’ a clipped tone cut in.

Harper was on her feet instantly. She tapped her communicator. ‘I’ll come right now, Sir. Is everything alright?’

‘Be on your way and I’ll explain when you arrive. Picard out.’

Troi stood up too. ‘I’d come with you but I’m seeing one of your patients for an end-of-treatment review session in fifteen minutes,’ she said.

‘Who?’ 

‘Lieutenant Datlow.’

‘How is she?’

‘Fine. We managed to conquer her recurring nightmares and she’s sleeping much better now.’

‘Great.’ Harper nodded, moving over to the doors. ‘I’ll see you before you leave for the _Titan?_ ’

Troi smiled. ‘Yes. See you soon, Kris,’

‘Bye Deanna.’

*

On the bridge, Harper saw that Data had command. She went over to him. ‘Do you know what this is about?’ she asked.

‘No. You were summoned?’ he put to her.

She nodded. ‘Yes. Well, I’d better go and see what this is about. See you soon.’

Data watched her cross the bridge and she felt his eyes on her as she waited to be invited in. When Captain Picard called for her, she moved through the doors. Lore was sitting at the desk and Krysta was there too – mesmerised by Livingston, the Captain’s Australian lion fish that was held in a wall-mounted saltwater aquarium. Lore didn’t turn to acknowledge her arrival but Picard asked her to take a seat and so she did so immediately. 

‘A rather unexpected request has been put to me,’ he said, ‘and before I run it by Commander Data, I thought I would see what you think first, both as my head Counselor and as someone who is very much involved in it all. Would you like some coffee?’

‘No, thank you.’ She glanced to Lore again. ‘Are you alright?’ she asked him.

He nodded, staring straight ahead of himself. ‘I’m fine.’

Something was definitely up. Harper looked to Krysta briefly too but she was alright – her red eyes wide as she watched the fish bobbing about it. ‘So…’ she said, facing the Captain, ‘what sort of request has been put to you?’

‘Lore has given this a great deal of thought so do not assume he has made a snap decision. After you visited with him yesterday he considered some things that you shared with him and he also reflected on a conversation that he and I shared based on what he might be able to contribute now that he is a changed man,’ the Captain said.

‘Alright…’ Harper suddenly felt nervous. She trusted Lore but she still felt on edge.

‘He has asked me if he can be granted permission to try and fix Lal. Although she succumbed to cascade failure many years ago and there is a very slim chance she might be revived, he is prepared to try. Lore knows what it would mean to you and what it would mean to Data. It is his way of trying to make up for much of what he did,’ Picard explained.

She could hardly believe what she was hearing. Looking at Lore again, she understood now why he couldn’t meet her gaze. He was likely embarrassed by the enormous gesture he was prepared to make and was also trying to be stalwart. She thought back on their exchanges yesterday, how she had told him she was sad that she and Data could never have children. Harper didn’t know what to say about the fact that Lore wanted to help them. She felt a lump growing in her throat, because of the kind gesture and also at the mere thought of herself and Data being able to start a family after all. 

She swallowed over that lump and then faced the Captain. ‘Sir…’ 

‘Now, you should know that my initial reaction was to say no to this idea,’ Picard continued, ‘Lore does not want to use Data’s cybernetics lab to attempt this work, he wants for himself and Krysta to be taken to Terlina III so he can use Doctor Soong’s equipment and refer to his notes. Even though he has his ethical subroutine, I am rather uncomfortable with the notion of leaving Lore to his own devices. However… he has further suggested that I permit two members of my staff, one from sciences and one from security to oversee the operation. They would stay at the lab with himself and Krysta and they would report to me regularly in regards to overall progress.’

Harper took that in. ‘I see,’ she said, trying not to sound emotional.

‘It might not work,’ Lore echoed, quietly so, ‘but if I’m to do something worthwhile with my life then this should surely be the first step. If the Captain agrees then it would be Starfleet-approved. I just need you and Data to say yes.’

She cleared her throat. ‘I can’t think of a more beautiful gesture you could make. You definitely have my consent, Lore. Thank you for thinking of this and for wanting to do it.’ 

He nodded, his gaze moving to the polished surface of Picard’s desk and becoming fixed there. 

Kristen watched him, wishing she could convey her gratitude without making him feel even more awkward than he clearly already did. ‘If you would allow Lore to do this, you would have our eternal thanks,’ she said, looking to the Captain, ‘I just know that Data will be on board with the idea, once we’ve discussed it with him. We’d give almost anything to be able to have children and this might be our only chance. Q offered me a child, in the form of a miracle, but I knew it wasn’t right. This feels right, Sir. I would very much like you to give Lore permission to return to Terlina III and give this a try.’

The Captain watched her face for a moment and then he relaxed a little and nodded. ‘I won’t make a final decision until I’ve discussed this with Data but I will take on board how you feel.’

‘I also think that it would be better for Krysta and I to settle at the lab. It’s highly unlikely that either of us will ever be accepted here… and Terlina III holds history for both of us… history we can relate to,’ Lore said.

Kristen could see his point but the thought of he and her android twin being so far away was surprisingly rather painful. But she had to respect his choice. He wanted a fresh start, to do something worthwhile with his life and he was including Krysta in that too. She wished he’d look at her so she could give him a smile or try to tell him with her eyes that she approved of all of this and that she was proud of him and grateful but he continued to stare at the table.

‘This may be a good time to ask Mister Data to join us,’ the Captain said.

‘Yes,’ Lore agreed, ‘call him in.’

Kristen inhaled a deep breath then. Data was about to see Krysta for the first time and then he was going to be faced with an emotion-provoking conversation about his daughter. She hoped that he’d handle all of it well and that he’d be okay. The Captain called for him and she sat there and waited, her heart thumping and her palms turning clammy with nervousness.

* 

Data asked Worf to take the bridge when he was summoned and then he got up and went straight to the ready room. When the doors opened, he was faced with an unusual scene. The Captain appeared to be calm but serious, Lore had a blank expression and was staring at the surface of the desk and Kristen was looking up at him already, her dark eyes filled with a hundred thoughts. And then there was the bizarre sight of her twin. It took Data only microseconds to take in her appearance – the crimson eyes, the silvery hair, the opalescent skin – but it felt like a long time to him indeed. She was very literally an android and there was nothing organic about her. She was Kristen only she was not. 

She blinked at him a couple of times and then returned her curious attention to the Captain’s fish. Data looked to Kristen again and then took a seat by her side. ‘How can I be of assistance, Captain?’ he asked.

‘Lore came to me today with a request. We have discussed that request with Counselor Harper just now and she has elected to consent to it… and now we would like for you to share your opinion also,’ Picard replied.

‘Understood,’ Data said, ‘please proceed, Sir.’

Kristen put her hand to his and clasped it. If the Captain noticed, he clearly didn’t mind that unexpected affection as he didn’t pass comment. That alone made Data realise that something important was about to occur. He held Kristen’s hand in return and waited.

‘I may as well get straight to the point. Lore has requested that he and Krysta be relocated to Terlina III. He wishes to take Lal’s remains with him so that he can attempt to fix what went wrong with her programming and attempt to bring her back to life. Should I approve this request, two officers from my staff will accompany them and regular reports will be expected. Despite his ethical subroutine, he will still be monitored and supervised as he works. He wishes to do this for you and Counselor Harper as a way to amend the mistakes he made.’ Captain Picard paused for a moment, glancing to Lore. Then he looked back to Data. ‘I know that this must be a very difficult decision to consider, Number One. You do not have to decide right at this moment. I will be the one to make the final verdict on it all but your opinion is the most vital to me. What are your thoughts?’

Data was frowning but it wasn’t because he was sad or worried. Instead, he could not understand why Lore would offer something so enormously selfless. He looked passed the emotional gaze of his fiancée and to his brother instead. Lore gave him the briefest of all brief glances and then he folded his arms over his chest and looked up at the ceiling. ‘You’ll say no,’ he said, his tone clipped, ‘I knew that Kris would say yes but that you would say no, Data. You won’t let me do this, will you? You won’t even let me try,’

‘I have not revealed my feelings or opinion yet,’ Data said to him, ‘so please do not assume.’

Lore sighed.

‘As the Captain said, I gave my consent to this,’ Kristen said, ‘I think it would be a wonderful opportunity for all of us. It will give Lore a fresh start, it will provide he and Krysta some time together somewhere they both feel safe and happy and… if Lore can fix Lal, it will give us something… someone… we both want so badly. ‘

Data nodded. ‘I know. I understand,’

‘You should let me do this for Kristen,’ Lore put in, agitated, ‘I want to do it for both of you but for her most of all. She deserves this. I was lower than low when I deconstructed her but now I can make her complete in ways far beyond the physical. I can make both of you complete, with the right time and resources. Let me do this.’

Picard held up a hand. ‘Alright. Let’s all calm down a little. There is no need for old tensions to rise up again, not after how far all of you have come.’

Lore sighed again. ‘This was supposed to be a gift but I’m frustrated already. This isn’t easy for me, Data,’ he said, turning his head – finally – so their eyes could connect for more than a second or two. ‘In fact, it’s taken me one hell of a lot of courage and soul-searching to make this decision. It’s not just about wanting to get Krysta and I off this ship and quickly, it’s also about absolution. Let me do this. If you won’t let me do it for you, then let me do it for Kris. It’s not-’

‘Lore,’ Data said, feeling a stab of irritation, ‘calm down. I have not shared my feelings yet.’

Kristen, sitting between them, also tried to diffuse the tension. ‘Maybe we should leave this as it is and discuss it later today or tomorrow…’

‘Agreed,’ the Captain said.

‘No, it is fine,’ Data countered. From the moment the idea had been put to him he had known it was the best thing for everyone. He remained startled by Lore’s suggestion but he knew it was true and that it was honest and borne of good intention. ‘Lore,’ he addressed his brother, ‘if Captain Picard decides to approve this then I too will consent to it. I will give you the remains of my daughter and I will allow you to take her with you from this ship so that you can work on her on Terlina III. You have proven to be skilled with cybernetics beyond my own capabilities and I believe you when you say that you wish to help. I am grateful for your offer and I thank you for it.’

Lore’s face was drained of annoyance then and he looked unsure instead. ‘Do you mean that?’ he asked.

‘Yes. I mean it,’ Data told him.

Kristen started to smile a little. Before she could speak, Krysta came over and then she was sitting on the edge of the desk, near where Lore was sitting. ‘Are you having a baby?’ she asked, looking to Kristen.

‘If everything works out okay, then that will be a way to describe it, yes,’ was the warm response.

Krysta smiled. ‘Can I have a pet fish?’ she asked Lore, ‘if Kristen is having a baby then I want a fish. Can I have a fish?’

Lore rolled his eyes and then he stood up and pulled her from where she sat, apparently knowing that it wouldn’t be appreciated. ‘We’ll talk about it later,’ he said, taking her hand in his. ‘Captain? Can we adjourn this for now? We all have a lot to think about…’

Picard nodded. ‘Of course. Please head back to your quarters and I will contact you by the end of the evening with my decision,’ he replied.

‘Can I have a fish? Can I have a fish?’ Krysta asked, as Lore walked her over to the door.

‘Wait a minute,’ Kristen said, also standing up and letting go of Data’s hand, ‘can we come with you?’

Lore paused and frowned. ‘Why?’ he said, from over his shoulder.

‘Well… you’re stressed. We need to talk some more. Data hasn’t been properly introduced to Krysta yet. We could go to TenForward and get a drink or something?’ Kristen said.

The Captain nodded. ‘That may be a good idea. Number One, please accompany them. If I do decide to send Lore and Krysta to Terlina III, it is likely wise that you all make the most of this time together before your shore leave begins. Dismissed.’ 

Data slowly stood up from his chair. ‘Yes Sir. You will contact me when you have made a decision about this matter?’

‘Of course.’ Picard nodded to him.

Turning, Data followed Kristen and then they, Krysta and Lore were crossing the bridge and getting into a turbolift together. Kristen took his hand again and Data was glad for that. The eventualities they had been through might have been erased of heartache but it seemed there was still much to think about and process. Nobody said anything during the journey to deck ten, other than Krysta rambling on about fish, and when they got to the ship’s bar they went to a table at once and took a seat. Lore asked Krysta to be quiet for a while and Data was startled by his brother’s gentle tone. It was obvious that he cared for the version of Kristen he had been gifted with. He tended to her with firmness and respect.

‘Look,’ Lore said, when he turned to face them both, ‘I’m sorry I was irritable back there. This just hasn’t gone how I thought it would so far. I thought that Picard would be glad to get rid of me and that there would be no decision to make. Also, I was feeling… awkward… and embarrassed. I’m still getting used to doing nice things for people… or trying to do nice things for people.’

Kristen smiled at him. ‘We know you. We understand you. We can overlook your temper, Lore, and especially so given what you want to do for us,’

‘How did you come to that conclusion?’ Data asked.

‘Kris told me how sad she has felt that you can’t start a family. The “conclusion” came very easily to me,’ Lore replied, sounding calmer now.

‘It is unlikely you will be able to remedy the cascade failure that occurred in Lal but I am touched that you wish to attempt it,’ Data told him.

‘I know. It’s not likely at all but… I have experience. I could never have righted what went wrong with the cyborg version of you, Kris, it was too much of a mess and the biological elements of what happened to you made it too complicated. I’m not a doctor. But… there is equipment and information at the Terlina lab that could help a great deal with Lal. I imagine that my first task will be to educate myself even further than I am already, do my homework, and only when I feel truly ready and prepared… I’ll try to open her up and repair the damage,’ Lore said.

Kristen’s hand found Data’s again under the table and she squeezed it. Her eyes had filled with tears.

‘Are you okay?’ Lore asked.

‘Yes,’ she said, in a shaky voice, ‘come on, you know what this means to me. To us.’

Data let go of Kristen’s hand but only so he could put an arm around her and pull her close. She had told him a long time ago that she would love Lal as unconditionally as she loved him, should she ever be brought back online again, but seeing her like this was making him feel emotional too. She had never met Lal and yet she was acting like a Mother to her already – filled with deep feelings for the android girl who had always meant so much to Data and tearful at just the thought of her being brought back to life. Before Kristen, Lal had been his first beloved. Her name was the Hindu translation of that word. If Lal came back to him, he would have two beloveds – a daughter and a fiancée. 

‘Ehhh…’ Lore’s eyes veered away from them. ‘Don’t get ahead of yourselves, alright?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Kristen said, wiping a tear away, ‘I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable…’

A member of TenForward staff approached the table then and put a cup of coffee down in front of Kristen. He put one down in front of Data too and then went on to wait other tables. When Data looked over to the bar, he saw Guinan shoot him a small smile as she continued to serve her customers.

‘Maybe we should talk about something else whilst we wait for Picard,’ Lore said.

Data agreed with that. They were getting their hopes up more and more by the moment and if the Captain decided it was not a wise idea after all, it would be hard to take. It was better to talk of other things. 

‘Krysta,’ he said, ‘would you like something to drink?’

Crimson eyes looked to his. ‘No, thank you. I’d like a fish. A pretty fish.’

Kristen laughed a little, unable to help herself. ‘If it turns out that you and Lore are leaving the ship, I will get you a fish as a leaving gift,’ she said.

Data smiled too and then he extended a hand to Krysta. ‘I am Data,’ he said, ‘I am Lore’s brother.’

She shook his hand and then let go quickly. Krysta was smiling but also shy. ‘If we leave the ship, will we be going on a holiday?’ she asked.

Lore tilted his head as he looked her way. Data noted the fondness in his eyes. ‘We’ll be going back home. To the lab,’ he said.

‘I remember the lab.’ Krysta smiled at him. ‘I liked it there. I felt safe.’

Kristen picked up her coffee and blew over it. ‘Would you look forward to a return there?’

‘Yes,’ Krysta said, ‘it is my home. I miss the dinosaurs and the jungle and having sex in the big bed.’

Data winced at that but he couldn’t deny he was amused. Kristen coughed into her coffee and then put the cup down, wiping her mouth with a hand. Lore sat back in his chair and cast his gaze to the ceiling. Data tried not to laugh. He knew he shouldn’t find this funny but as everyone had their rightful places now and he had Kristen back where she had always belonged, he couldn’t hold onto the bitterness. He held his amusement until Lore turned and looked at him and at that they both gave it up and burst into laughter.

Quizzical and nonplussed, Krysta blinked. ‘Did I say the wrong thing?’ she asked.

Kristen was laughing too. ‘No, sweetheart. Everything is fine.’

*

The quartet remained in TenForward for a couple more hours and then, when Kristen began to feel even more nervous in her anticipation for the delivery of Picard’s decision, Data suggested they return to their quarters. Lore was surprised when he and Krysta were invited too. It seemed wise for everyone to stay together and so they left the bar, headed into a turbolift and then emerged again on deck nine. Lore followed Data and Kristen into their rooms and realised something immediately – all of her things had been brought back from storage and everything was as it had been before her death. It brought relief to see that but it also made him feel wistful. He had wished more than once than he’d never taken her, never hurt her in the first place… and yet now it was as though that wish had been granted.

All of his victims were alive again, except for Ria, and despite the fact that memories remained of what had happened before Q made everything right, the only pain that lingered was how Lore still felt about Kristen. He wouldn’t speak of it again, though. He wouldn’t hurt her anymore, even by mentioning that they’d once shared a love that had changed his life. His reverie was broken by the realisation that Krysta had noticed Data’s pet cat and at that he remembered himself and went over to her, wanting to supervise her before she crushed the poor creature to death.

‘Be careful,’ he said to her, ‘she’s not your cat, Krysta. You must be mindful.’

Kristen was ordering more coffee from the replicator but Data too came over when he realised that Krysta had Spot in her arms. ‘I want a cat!’ she was saying, her smile brighter than the sun, ‘I want a cat! Can I have a cat, my keeper? Can I have a cat and a fish?’

‘Here,’ Data said, gently adjusting her grasp on the animal so it was held in the correct way, ‘you must be careful with her,’

‘Does she bite?’ Krysta asked.

Data smiled at her. ‘No, she does not bite… but she does scratch on occasion. Come and sit down with her and then she can settle on your lap and you may stroke her.’

Lore watched as his brother sat her down and then crouched down in front of her, again adjusting her hands on the small cat and then showing her how to stroke it. As soon as he was sure that Krysta could be trusted, he righted himself again. Kristen came over with her coffee and took a seat at her twin’s side. The two of them started to talk about Spot and in no time, Krysta was giggling and Kristen was smiling too. It was still very surreal to watch them interacting. It surely would for the foreseeable future.

Data moved back to give them some space and then he and Lore shared a look. ‘Would you like some coffee?’ Data asked him.

‘Yes. Alright.’ Lore moved with him when he went to the replicator. ‘What do you make of Krysta?’ he asked quietly, knowing that the girls would not be able to hear.

Data ordered their coffees and then he paused before picking either of them up, thinking. ‘It is clear that she is adjusting to sentience,’ he said, ‘and that because of that process, she is rather innocent and uncomplicated. However, I do have a feeling that when she has settled into who she is and has grown accustomed to her new life, she will become more like Kristen.’

Lore was surprised. He was pleased but definitely surprised. ‘Oh? And what makes you think that?’

‘She is Kristen already, just a different version,’ Data replied, ‘can you not see that? Her skin, hair and eyes might be different but she has the same face, the same body, the same heart. She might be an artificial being but she also has the same…’ He frowned slightly, trying to find the words. ‘I do not know how to describe it. Right now, she seems radically different to Kristen but I can… sense… that they are more alike than unalike.’

Lore took his coffee and holding it, he leaned against the wall near the replicator. He looked over to the two of them and felt a glow inside when he saw that Krysta was treating the cat with patience and gentleness now and that Kristen was still helping her. ‘They’re like sisters,’ he said, ‘twin sisters…’

‘Much like you and I are twin brothers,’ Data said.

‘I’ll miss you both if the Captain allows us to return to Terlina III,’ Lore told him, ‘but we can talk all the time. I’ll keep you updated on Lal’s progress… and you’d be welcome to visit with us anytime, if you can get away from your duties.’

Data picked up his coffee too. ‘Once we return from shore leave and the first of the Riker-Troi weddings, we will need to resume our duties for a time. But when we are granted leave again, I think it would be productive to come to the lab and spend some time with you both,’

‘You never know, Lal might be operational by then,’ Lore put in.

Data sipped some coffee. ‘I will not get my hopes up,’ he said.

‘Understandable,’ Lore replied, ‘but don’t rule it out. I’m going to do everything I can.’

They were silent for a few moments, just watching Kristen and Krysta, and then Data put his cup down, took Lore’s from him to put that down too, and then he was leading him away from the sitting area and to the part of his quarters that served as a workstation. Lore glanced at the illuminated schematic of the _Enterprise_ behind the desk and then he looked to his brother again, wondering what this was about. Data went to the wall at the right hand side and then he tapped his fingers on the access panel and a large drawer unit began to open.

Lore was intrigued but also knew that he was about to see his niece for the first time. He moved to Data’s side and looked into the unit. Like any deactivated android, Lal appeared to be asleep. She wore a berry-coloured top with a lavender-coloured dress over it, she had bobbed dark brown hair and her face was fine-featured and beautiful. Lore gazed at her for a long time – family, another person he could count as family, even if she was broken for now. It affected him more than he could have imagined and that increased when he glanced at his brother and saw the expression on his face.

‘She was not active for long,’ Data said, ‘but I like to think I gave her a series of rich and varied experiences to make her short life as fulfilling as possible. She made friends easily and she was helpful and curious and… sweet. I miss her…’

‘How did she handle her transition into sentience?’ Lore asked.

‘Fairly well, only it was the unexpected eventuality of her becoming emotionally capable that initiated the first stages of cascade failure. If you are successful in bringing her back, it might be wise to deprive her of emotions at first,’

‘Good idea. What sort of emotions did she feel?’

‘Fear… love…’ Data said, hushed now, ‘she said “I love you, Father” just before she died and when I told her I wished that I could feel it too, she said that she would feel it for both of us.’ 

Lore didn’t know what to say to that. It was too moving a story to try and adding anything to. He watched Data stroke Lal’s cheek with a gentle touch and then he was closing the unit up again and tapping in the security code. The moment was over but Lore appreciated what his brother had shared with him. They got closer all the time. 

‘Please be careful with her,’ Data said, when he turned to him.

‘You have my word,’ Lore replied.

They went back to the main lounge area and when Data went to sit down next to Kristen, Lore took a second to get his coffee from the replicator and then he took a seat on a nearby chair. Lal was the main thing on his mind for the last few hours of late afternoon but when the evening drew in and Kristen started to get nervous again, the emotion began to affect everyone. Her anticipation transferred to Data and then it transferred to Lore. Krysta was fine, still obsessed with the ginger cat she’d been playing with, but everyone else was edgy as they waited for Captain Picard to deliver his decision.

That decision was made and announced at 20:00 hours.

‘Captain Picard to Commander Data.’

Kristen stood up when she heard those words, her hands going to her mouth. Data stood too but only so he could take her hand and then guide her into sitting down by his side again. ‘Data here,’ he said, once he’d tapped his communicator.

‘I am in the shuttle bay at the moment, Number One. Myself and Mister Worf are overseeing the preparation of Doctor Soong’s runabout. It will be ready to leave in an hour or so. In the meantime, I need for Lore and Krysta to prepare themselves for their journey ahead and I also need for you to bring Lal here so we can store her on the craft,’ Picard said.

‘You have decided to grant the request, Sir?’ Data asked.

‘Indeed. Please organise what is necessary and then come to the shuttle bay. Picard out.’

Lore felt a smile spread across his face. He could never have thought that something so selfless could feel so good but as he watched Kristen shriek with unbridled delight and then throw her arms around his brother’s neck so he could spin her around and kiss her, he felt incredible. Lore too was excited for this. It had been building up in him all day. He’d truly miss them both but the thought of starting a new life, a new page, with Krysta by his side and with a worthwhile task to hand was healing as well as inspiring. He stood up and thought about what Picard had said. He and Krysta had no belongings to gather, not even clothing, and so he went to his silver-haired beloved and offered her a hand. She took and stood to come to his side.

‘Are we leaving now?’ she asked.

‘Yes, Krysta,’ he replied, ‘we’re going home.’

She bit her lip and smiled, radiating happiness.

Kristen turned then and watched them both for a moment. ‘I can’t believe this is happening,’ she said, ‘this is so wonderful! I want to cry!’

Data laughed a little. ‘Do not cry. We have work to do. Would you take Krysta to the shuttle bay now so that Lore and I can retrieve Lal and prepare her for transport?’

‘Of course,’ she said. She let go of him and then she moved over to Krysta and took her hand instead. Lore continued to smile as he watched them both. ‘Perhaps we can go get you a fish before we head to the shuttle bay,’ she said, ‘would you like that?’

‘Yes! I want a fish!’ Krysta cried, red eyes flashing with excitement, ‘I want to call it Mopsy!’

Lore hurtled back through time in just a matter of seconds. He remembered Kristen talking about a pet rabbit she’d had as a child, when he’d been interrogating and altering her, and the bittersweet nostalgia hit him right in the heart. Not wanting to be a martyr at such a healing time, he quickly dismissed those memories. Thanks to Q, they had never really happened. Nobody was injured now. They never had been. Everything was okay.

Krysta continued to chatter as Kristen led her out of the room and then Lore and Data were alone and the mood quietened palpably. ‘Are you ready?’ Data asked, gesturing to his work area.

Lore nodded. ‘Yes. Let’s go and get your girl ready.’

‘It is odd to think that when she returns to this ship, there is a chance she will be alive again,’ Data replied.

They returned to where she was kept and when Data opened that unit drawer again, Lore helped him to lift her out. Then they were replicating some fabric to wrap her in and nothing more needed to be said. 

*

It was 21:40 hours by the time Doctor Soong’s runabout was ready to leave. Lal was held in a bunk that had been locked with security protocols and the two members of Starfleet staff that had been allocated to the mission had already boarded, along with their belongings. Krysta had a tropical fish in a bowl on her lap and was sitting in the co-pilot chair, singing songs about starlight and sunshine to herself. Captain Picard had talked to Lore on his own for a while and then he’d nodded to Data and Kristen and he and Worf had left. Kristen stood with her fiancée as she watched Lore make some final checks and then he was turning around and moving over to them.

‘Looks like we’re ready to go,’ he said, warm-eyed but not smiling.

Kristen looked up at Data briefly. He too wasn’t smiling but he seemed to be relaxed. ‘There is nothing we can assist you with?’ he asked.

Lore shook his head. ‘No, brother. We’re all set. Let’s get the awkward goodbyes out of the way and then I’ll get out of here.’ He glanced to Kristen then. ‘You okay?’ he asked.

She was okay and yet this moment was painful too. They’d been through hell and heaven and then hell again together and now he was leaving. ‘Yes,’ she said, not wanting to take more away with him than he knew how to deal with, ‘I’m fine. We’re both fine. How are you doing?’

He managed a smile then, a small one. ‘I’ll be great just as long as you don’t make this weird and start crying,’ he said.

Kristen rolled her eyes and then smiled back at him. ‘I won’t cry,’ she said, despite the crack in her voice.

Data moved forwards then. He reached for Lore’s hand as though wanting to shake it but as soon as Lore accepted it, he pulled him into a hug. Data was taken offguard by that but he returned the brotherly affection and the two of them held onto one another for well over a minute. Lore said something in Data’s ear, something that Kristen couldn’t hear, but she didn’t mind not being privy to whatever they had shared. That they were sharing anything at all was wonderful. When Lore let go of Data, he came to her next and without asking first, he put his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace too. There was nothing uncomfortable about it. She wasn’t surprised when it didn’t last all that long but she was surprised by the kiss he dropped on her cheek.

She looked up at him and he wiped a tear away from her eye. ‘Liar,’ he said, with a smirk.

Before she could retort, Lore turned and then he was jogging up the ramp to the runabout and the doors were closing. Data moved to Kristen’s side and he rested his arm around her waist so they could be united that way whilst watching Lore, Krysta, Lal and the others sail out of their lives and into deep space. ‘This is more difficult than I could have anticipated,’ Data said, in a quiet voice, his amber eyes trained on the craft.

‘I know,’ she replied, ‘but we’ll speak to him soon,’

‘Yes…’

‘Are you sad, Data?’

‘Not exactly, my beloved. I am just… feeling… a great deal.’

Kristen smiled at him, her eyes watery, and then she put her gaze to where his was still held. Lore was in the pilot’s seat now. He said something to Krysta and the two of them lifted their hands and waved to them. Data and Kristen returned that gesture and then craft was gone all too soon. Even when it had been gone from sight for several moments, they remained there. Eventually, Data snapped out of his contemplative mindset and then he was holding Kristen properly and stroking her hair with a gentle hand as she rested her forehead to his chest. Peace and love flowed between them and healing did too.

She lifted her eyes to his. ‘We should go and meet with Robert. We’ll be leaving the ship as soon as we’re all ready to disembark,’ she said.

Data kissed her forehead. ‘I am more than ready for a bout of shore leave,’ 

‘Me too.’

They shared a smile then, he took her hand, and they turned to head to their quarters.


	55. Epilogue

_One week later…_

After seven days of family-time, Robert had decided to take Katie and Brinn out for the day. It was as though he sensed that Kristen and Data could do with some time alone and though they insisted it was something that could wait, Robert insisted it could not and so they were left with the house to themselves. It was mid-morning and a beautiful late-spring day. Warm sunlight spilled in through the windows and the silence was welcome. 

Kristen said she was going to take a shower and so Data went to check his correspondence. He’d heard from his brother once so far and though there was, as of yet, no change in how Lal was doing, he still liked to check every day to see if there had been an early breakthrough. There was a short message from Lore, one that discussed some technical elements on cybernetics and once Data had responded to those ideas with some of his own and also sent along his and Kristen’s warmest wishes, he checked his other messages too. 

There was one from Captain Picard. Ryan Soshi had been found and after he’d been taken into custody and had been subjected to various tests, it had come about that he truly had no idea about any of what had come before. Q’s pulling of the strings of fate had extended in Soshi’s direction too. As Lore’s victims had all been resurrected and it had been proven by intensive lie-detection examinations that he had no idea who Lore was at all, he had been released. Data had no doubts that Soshi would probably get into trouble again someday, he was rather relieved that the legal aspects of the whole thing were a closed book now. 

Lore had his new life, his new purposes, his new outlook, Soshi was no longer any sort of threat in any sort of way and when it came to the future, the only thing that presented concern was what might happen with Lal. 

Data thought about that for a moment and then released a slow sigh. As a Father, he couldn’t help but worry but at the same time he knew that wouldn’t help anything. He stood from the desk in Robert’s office and then he went in search of Kristen. If there was one person in all of the universe who could take his mind from worrying factors and turn it to somewhere softer and wonderfully appeasing, it was her. He left the office and stood for a moment in the lounge; taking in surroundings that had become so homely to him that he truly felt a sense of belonging. The furniture was worn from use, the floor littered with Brinn’s toys and dress-up clothes. He allowed himself a brief smile as he looked to the future with brighter hope – one day, if everything worked out at the lab on Terlina III, he and Kristen would have a true family home too. 

Yes, it would be on the _Enterprise_ and yes, Lal would never have toys or play like a child plays, but they would be a true family and any mess or wear and tear would be welcomed. To Data, the thought was inspiring. 

He was still smiling when he left the lounge and climbed the stairs. The bathroom was empty and steam clung to the air. Kristen had finished showering and so he went to their bedroom instead, hoping she hadn’t dressed too quickly. As much as he enjoyed removing her clothes, he much preferred her naked from the off. They’d shared some intimate moments since returning to Earth but today they had some real time alone for the first time and Data intended to make the most of it. There would be no need for either of them to stay quiet, no need for either of them to ensure the bed wasn’t creaking, no need to hush each other when what they shared flowed beyond heat and into bliss…

Kristen was sitting on the end of that bed. Her back was to him and though she was dressed, it was not in the way he’d expected and that in itself made it the exact opposite of disappointing. Her pale curves were laced in a teal-coloured corset that was enhanced by black lace. She wore matching knickers and stockings that were thigh-high and attached to the corset with suspender fastenings. When she looked over her shoulder at him, her long hair shifted over her shoulder and she gifted him with a small smile. Her espresso eyes were velvety with longing and her smile grew when she realised how awed he was by the outfit she’d chosen to put on. 

Data closed the door and then he moved over to her and took a seat by her side, one hand landing on her waist. He rested the side of his face against hers and then he was smiling too. ‘You look beautiful,’ he told her.

‘Thank you. I’m glad you think so,’ Kristen replied. Her hand covered his at her waist and then she was guiding it upwards so it covered her left breast. ‘You’re not allowed to rip these clothes, this time,’ she continued, ‘you don’t need to be gentle with me but you do need to show my lingerie some regard.’

Data knew she was teasing him. He squeezed her breast and then used his other hand to turn her around until they were facing one another. ‘Are love-bites disallowed in these circumstances?’ he asked.

Kristen bit her lip. ‘You want to bite me?’ she asked, ‘then again, why am I asking you that? You love to bite me. Even the Captain knows that.’

He laughed, softly so, and then leaned in to cover her mouth with his. They kissed slowly at first but even with his eyes closed he was dazzled by the way she looked when she wore these beautiful pieces of lingerie. Even after so much time together as a couple, Data was still finding new things about her that affected his sexual needs; things that piqued his arousal even without touching her in intimate places. He loved to bite her, loved to see her dressed like this. Better still, he loved to open her up like the gift she was and so just before the kissing moved into deeper territory, Data broke it off and started to pull open the lacing at the back of her corset.

‘Let’s make a new rule,’ she whispered, eyes gleaming, ‘whenever we’re on shore leave, you can bite me wherever you want to.’

Data smiled at her. ‘You will still need to cover the marks…’

‘I know.’ She giggled then, though it sounded husky in her aroused state. ‘But… I quite like that aspect. I can’t get into trouble for love bites when I’m here on Earth. I can when we’re working, back home. Here… I can cover them and only you and I know they’re there. It’s sexy. I like it.’

He watched her eyes as he finished unlacing the corset and then she lifted her arms so he could pull it off her. She smelt like vanilla, as always, and clean from her shower too. She asked him if she should take the rest of the lingerie off but Data shook his head. The knickers would be removed rather soon but the stockings would stay on throughout everything they were sure to share whilst they were alone in the house. He got up onto the bed and then he was guiding her onto her back and opening her legs with careful hands. She pulled her to him then and he was settling atop her, sinking back into her kiss and listening to the humming sounds of pleasure and anticipation she was making already. 

They kissed for many minutes and then she pulled back, holding his face as she smiled and gazed up at him. ‘I love you, Data,’ she whispered.

He stroked her cheek, brushed some hair back from her eyes. Then he moved his face from her hands and held them with both of his, held them down at either side of her head so he could lean in and kiss her anew. She leaned up to meet him there. Data had intended to tell Kristen how loved she was in return but as their mouths moved together and he basked in her love, felt the warmth of the sunlight from the windows covering their bodies with lemony heat, felt her heart beating against his own and lost himself in all they shared, he knew he didn’t need to. 

And so instead of stating the obvious, Data smiled into her mouth as Kristen began to undress him and then, just like always, just as he had done so many times before, he let his passion for her lead the way and speak volumes on how he had always and would always love her.

Always.

*

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Well, that's it. All 55 chapters. I hope that it was as enjoyed as the first book. Please do take a moment, now it's over, to let me know what you think of the book as a whole. It would mean a lot to me if you would. There is a third book in the works but as I'm juggling writing three others novels at the moment, I honestly do not know when I'll start work on it. When I do, I'll start to post. Thanks very much for reading! :) xxx


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